Pronounced Dead at 16… Then He Rebuilt His Life Ryan Zofay's Untold Recovery Story | DSH #1686

Summary

Podcast Summary: Digital Social Hour

Episode: Pronounced Dead at 16… Then He Rebuilt His Life – Ryan Zofay's Untold Recovery Story | DSH #1686

Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Ryan Zofay
Date: December 16, 2025

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Episode Overview

This powerful episode of Digital Social Hour features entrepreneur and recovery advocate Ryan Zofay, who recounts his harrowing journey from childhood trauma and life-threatening addiction to building a successful business and becoming a sought-after speaker. Ryan and host Sean Kelly hold a raw, introspective conversation about overcoming adversity, breaking free from self-destructive patterns, the importance of healing childhood wounds, and finding authentic fulfillment.

Ryan's story serves as an inspiring testament to resilience and personal transformation, offering hope for anyone facing their own rock bottom.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Early Life Trauma and Addiction

• Unstable Childhood: Ryan shares openly about growing up with an alcoholic father and a drug-addicted mother who separated after the tragic loss of his sister. His mother entered abusive relationships, culminating in her being stabbed 13 times and later shot in the neck.

  • “Being in the streets actually felt safer than being home.” (01:24)

• Substance Abuse: Ryan began using drugs at 11 and spiraled into criminal activity, amassing 21 felonies and spending years in juvenile detention.

• Life-or-Death Turning Point:

  • At 16, Ryan was involved in a car accident and was “pronounced dead at the scene.”
  • While recovering, he learned he faced 25 to life in prison and was rejected by his father:

    “He pretty much was like, look, I already lost a daughter and looks like I just lost my son...I just remember just feeling so devastated.” (02:18)

2. Family Relationships, Tough Love, and Reconciliation

• Generational Patterns: Ryan describes his father’s ‘tough love’—a product of his upbringing and military lineage:

  “My father's father was a ranger in the 82nd Airborne...Work hard, you know, don't express yourself. Don't show your emotions, provide for the family, kind of keep your head down and grind it out.” (03:58)

• Last Moments with Father: Despite years of resentment, Ryan shares an emotional story of being called to the hospital in his dad’s final days, leading to a rare moment of vulnerability:

  “I remembered he just wanted me to know he loved me and he was proud of me…that was, like, the first time he really expressed himself.” (07:41)

• Effects of Unspoken Love: Both host and guest reflect on growing up without verbal affirmation, exploring how childhood voids impact adult relationships and self-worth.

  • “During those, like, formative years…if you had a parent that was yelling at you all the time or was avoiding you all the time, that built this void…Why am I not loved? Why me?” (08:40)

3. Recovery, Self-Improvement, and Emotional Mastery

• Success Does Not Equal Fulfillment: Ryan discusses chasing money, status, and relationships to fill his inner void, only to find emptiness.

  “You get all the things…and then you're just like, why am I not fulfilled?...Why do I still feel empty inside?” (11:38)

• Anger and Control: After sobriety, anger became his coping mechanism—using rage as a way to control situations and avoid abandonment.

  “If I can control you with my anger, then I'm in control if you're leaving me or not. So that was the illusion.” (13:10)

• The Path to Healing: Ryan emphasizes intensive self-work (over 10,000 hours), including therapy, trauma workshops, and coaching.

  • “It's just like going to the gym…The more I would show up to these events…the easier it got.” (14:13)

• Facing Rock Bottom Again: Ryan details the devastating impact of an FTC lawsuit that not only wiped out his business and finances but also led his fiancée to leave him. This event, more than any previous trauma, became the catalyst for genuine transformation.

  “The FTC lawsuit was ten times more painful…because I was sober. I was aware of what I was doing…I was out of alignment with being a good person.” (16:48)

4. The Importance of Agency, Accountability, and Legacy

• Moving from Victim to Ownership: Ryan highlights the necessity of shifting from blame to personal responsibility.

  “We are 100% responsible for our perception of what happened. So often people get caught up in blaming and having this, like, victim mindset...When I say responsibility, I'm saying it from, like, an empowerment perspective.” (27:46)

• Empathy, Emotional Intelligence, & Leadership: Ryan found purpose in helping others heal, building self-love, and becoming a compassionate leader with over 600 employees.

  • “To be good at public speaking, there has to be a level of vulnerability. And to have vulnerability, you have to have a level of self-love and compassion for yourself.” (20:28)
  • “The more I can add value in people’s lives, that directly correlated to income.” (22:36)

• The Power of Proximity & Masterminds: Both Sean and Ryan discuss the transformative impact of joining masterminds and surrounding themselves with ambitious, high-achieving people.

  “Your environment models and conditions your personality…You have to actually change your personality in order to change your personal reality.” (36:08)

  • Ryan shares about joining Tony Robbins’ exclusive mastermind and the value of pushing beyond comfort zones.

5. Fulfillment Through Service and Leaving a Legacy

• Purpose Beyond Money: Ryan’s deepest fulfillment comes from impacting lives through recovery work and speaking engagements.

  • “Now it’s like, man, how can I leave a legacy? How can I truly impact the world in a crazy, insane way?” (32:12)

• The Ripple Effect of Impact: Both men agree that helping others, telling their stories, and equipping people with tools to heal is more rewarding than wealth.

  • “Look at the impact when you speak on a stage of a thousand people...There’s a powerful ripple effect.” (21:20)
  • “The cards I was dealt, you know, people don’t make it...So I’m just grateful to be alive.” (39:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Chasing Fulfillment:

  “All of that time, I was really just running from a void that I wasn’t good enough. And then you get all the things…and then you’re just like, why am I not fulfilled?”
  — Ryan Zofay (00:01, 11:38)

• On Rock Bottom and Change:

  “Pain is usually the leverage that somebody needs to do something different.”
  — Ryan Zofay (18:17)

• On Emotional Intelligence:

  “The only way that you can really build emotional intelligence…is going through processes to express that stuff…reliving those childhood moments.”
  — Ryan Zofay (24:43)

• On Personal Responsibility:

  “Absolute responsibility. I mean, it’s something I teach in leadership. If you own it to that degree, you are going to win so much more.”
  — Ryan Zofay (28:59)

• On Legacy:

  “Now it’s like, man, how can I leave a legacy?...How can I truly impact the world in a crazy, insane way?”
  — Ryan Zofay (32:12)

• On Masterminds & Proximity:

  “If you’re ever invited on a rocket ship, don’t ask which seat, just get on.”
  — Ryan Zofay (34:13)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:01 – Ryan’s realization about fulfillment and running from childhood voids
• 01:06-02:50 – Describing addiction, criminal past, and being pronounced dead
• 02:16 – Breaking point with his father
• 07:41 – Powerful moment of reconciliation at father’s deathbed
• 08:40 – Exploration of childhood wounds and self-worth
• 11:38 – Chasing external validation and the emptiness that follows
• 13:10 – Using anger as a shield against abandonment
• 14:13 – 10,000 hours of self-work: “Just grinding.”
• 16:48 – The crushing impact of the FTC lawsuit and rock bottom
• 18:17 – “Pain is usually the leverage that somebody needs to do something different.”
• 27:46 – On choosing empowerment over victimhood
• 32:12 – “How can I leave a legacy?”
• 34:13 – “If you’re ever invited on a rocket ship…” (on seizing opportunity)
• 36:08 – The importance of masterminds and deliberate environments
• 39:20 – “The cards I was dealt, you know, people don’t make it...So I’m just grateful to be alive.”

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Conclusion

This episode delivers an emotionally honest and profoundly motivational look at how one man survived not only literal death, but also the death of his former self. Ryan Zofay’s path—from being labeled a lost cause to orchestrating transformative change—is a master class in vulnerability, resilience, and real growth. The dialogue is a reminder that real fulfillment, healing, and success lie on the other side of self-honesty and hard, inner work.

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Connect with Ryan Zofay

• Instagram/Website: @ryanzofay / ryanzofay.com (39:26)
• Events and Updates: Follow his socials for information on upcoming healing events and seminars.

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Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Ryan Zofay

(For inquiries about future episodes or to attend events, refer to Ryan’s website or Instagram.)

Transcript

[Ryan Zofe]

I think that's.

[Host]

That's.

[Ryan Zofe]

That's, like, the biggest life lesson I've learned. You know, I've been in this pursuit of trying to fill that void. Right. Like, the way I look, the money I make, the amount of attention I get from. From. From women or whatever it is, and. And all of that time, I was really just running from a void that I wasn't good enough. And then you get all the things. You get the women, you get the money, you get the house, you get all those things, and then you're just like, why am I not fulfilled?

[Host]

Foreign. Guys, big guest today. Episode 1700. We got Ryan just landed at the airport. Roll deep, man. Yeah, you roll deeper than any guests I've ever had on.

[Ryan Zofe]

Really?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Ryan Zofe]

Jeremy said bring all your crew.

[Host]

Yeah. You brought the squad, and you left six behind, so.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, I did.

[Host]

So you like rolling deep like that, huh?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, it's fun. You want your crew around you, right? Yeah, I believe if you're winning, what fun would it be if you don't have your friends with you?

[Host]

Yeah, yeah, I battle with that. Because as you elevate at the same time, sometimes you got to leave some people behind for sure. So it's like a balance, Right?

[Ryan Zofe]

That's one of the biggest challenges for me, I mean, being in recovery. A lot of the kids I grew up with were, you know, using drugs and active and addiction up to criminal mischief and stuff. And so when I started getting sober, that was, like, one of the most difficult things I had to go through. My parents weren't really too involved with me as a kid, so I didn't get the love or the nurturing attention that I wanted or thought I deserved. And so being in the streets actually felt safer than being home.

[Host]

Wow. That's crazy to think about, right?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

Holy crap. Yeah. Because you were in the streets at a very young age. You started using drugs at age 11.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, age 11.

[Host]

And how long did that span out for?

[Ryan Zofe]

So I stopped when I was 16, but it was pretty traumatic when. When I ended, I didn't really have much of a choice. I mean, I had a Choice, clearly, but October 8, 2001, I was in a automobile accident, and I was pronounced dead at the scene of a crime, and I was trauma hawked to the hospital. My addiction brought me to that point. Up until that point, I already spent two years in juvie, and so clearly, God had a different plan for me. Yet I was still facing 25 to life.

[Host]

Holy crap. That's 16.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

25 to life.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

So you had a lawyer up and really fight that case.

[Ryan Zofe]

Well, I mean, my dad essentially disowned me. I remembered giving him a phone call because I didn't really remember what happened. And as I'm in the chapel calling my father, he pretty much was like, look, I already lost a daughter, and looks like I just lost my son. And I just remember just feeling so devastated. Really never really felt like I got the support from him that I deserved, that I wanted. And here I am, you know, in the most difficult time of my life, and I felt like he just turned his back on me.

[Host]

Wow.

[Ryan Zofe]

I mean, look, and. And looking back, I get it, because, you know, I had 21 felonies. I was in and out of juvie. I used to steal from him. I was just reckless, you know, as a reckless kid. And he had a hard time understanding that he was a big contributing factor to. To my behaviors. And so I'm sure he was just devastated at the time because he did lose a daughter, and now he believes his son's going to spend the rest of his life in prison.

[Host]

When you say contributing factor, in what ways do you think he was?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, so father was an alcoholic, you know, mother was a drug user. They divorced after my sister passed away. Mother was in and out of very abusive relationships. She was actually stabbed 13 times by my stepfather.

[Host]

Jeez.

[Ryan Zofe]

And my father wasn't really there during this time. He was incapable, you know, he didn't want to lose my mom, and so my mom was just in these abusive relationships. And when I would try to turn to my dad for that emotional support, he was incapable of doing so. Yeah.

[Host]

So he would you say he kind of gave up on you?

[Ryan Zofe]

I mean, I just don't think he. Looking back, knowing what I know now, he was, you know, left his own devices. You know, that was what he learned from his parents. You know, my father's father was a ranger in the 82nd Airborne. So it was like tough love. Work hard, you know, don't express yourself. Don't show your emotions, provide for the family, kind of keep your head down and grind it out. And that was the way my dad was. He didn't know how to. How to express himself.

[Host]

Right. What do you think about tough love? Because that's how I was raised, too.

[Ryan Zofe]

I mean, you know, I have a different perspective today. That was what I was exposed to. And typically, our exposed environment builds our character, builds our belief systems, builds the model of our world, and then we grow older, and it directly impacts the choices and the decisions that we make. And so I'm grateful today, looking back, but I'll tell you, going through didn't feel so good, you know, like, really never felt like my father had my back, you know, like, he wanted me to be better than him. He wanted me to have a life that he didn't have. So I understand his methods, but it was. It was abusive, you know, it was. You know, today, he would. He would go to jail for. For how he raised me, abused me. Yeah.

[Host]

Did you reconcile in his later years?

[Ryan Zofe]

I did, yeah. So he. He passed away the end of 2020. Crazy story, man. I. You know, him and I ended up becoming partners at one point in my drug and alcohol rehab business. And I still had these, like, resentments, and I was still, like, really upset how he raised me. He was an alcoholic in the last, like, three, four years of his life. He got sober, but there was still a lot of unresolved issues. And so we got in this huge fight. Like, the end of 2019, we got this big fight, and we were going at it. I mean, we were literally saying the meanest things that you could possibly say. My father was actually going through chemo at the time, and we got in this huge fight, and I was unwilling to talk to him, and I was like, dude, like, you're dead to me. And I think I might have even said that. And he attempted to reach out to me a couple times and was like, hey, let's. Let's grab breakfast. You know, let's. Let's. Let's talk. And that was his way of saying sorry. That was his way of coming to me. He didn't know how to have those conversations. He didn't know how to express himself.

[Host]

Right.

[Ryan Zofe]

And I just ignored him and was like, I'm busy. Let's. I'll get back to you next week. And I'm laying in my bed, and it's Tuesday night following the week of this phone call, and I get a phone call. It's like, 4am I get this 954 number calling me, and I don't know who the number is. And it was like this weird pounding in my chest, and I was like, who's calling me? I closed my eyes, open my eyes again. It was another missed call from this 954 number. And just to kind of speak to how angry I was, it was my dad's fiance, and I didn't even have her number saved on my phone.

[Host]

Wow.

[Ryan Zofe]

And she texts me, and she says, your father just had a stroke and you better get to the hospital.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Ryan Zofe]

And so I'm just driving to the hospital. Like, man, is this really it? Like, I never considered this. I never thought that this would happen. You know, my dad was a man's man. He was always so strong. And although I had these battles with him, he was consistent. You know, he was consistent with. With at least that behavior and just, you know, the best that he could. And it was just. It was so scary. I remember walking in the hospital, and he was so strong, and he was just holding on for dear life, literally. And I remembered he just wanted me to know he loved me and he was proud of me.

[Host]

Wow.

[Ryan Zofe]

And that was, like, the first time he really expressed himself.

[Host]

That's crazy.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

So that was a really pivotal moment in your life then?

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

Holy crap.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

Similar story with my father. Man.

[Ryan Zofe]

Wow.

[Host]

He sent me a few texts. I ignored them. A few weeks later, he's gone. It's crazy. It's like those what if? Moments you just replay over in your head.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

Because we were, like, not really talking as much at the time.

[Ryan Zofe]

Sure, sure. And how do you think that affects you today?

[Host]

I. From that day on, I. I called my mom every single day. Tell her I love her. But I grew up in a similar environment to you where those words were never spoken.

[Ryan Zofe]

Sure.

[Host]

Never got a hug, never got a pat on the back. So it's just tough love. They showed it through action. I guess they never told you.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

So I didn't know if they loved me or not, to be honest, when I was growing up. Now looking back, I realized they did a lot of things out of love. But when you're a kid, you see these movies and you think love is saying it and hugging you and kissing you on the head or whatever.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, for sure. It's interesting because during those, like, formative years of our lives, our caretakers, they're responsible for nurturing us. They're responsible for caring for us and giving us the healthy attunement and really paying attention to our needs. And so before your brain can really even develop its own thoughts and understanding of what's going on, we have these sensations and these feelings. And if you had a parent that was yelling at you all the time or was avoiding you all the time, that built this void, this. This. This feeling of, like, not good enough. This feeling of, like, why aren't I important? Why am I not loved? Like, what's going on? Why me? Why does this happen? And then as we start to get older and we start to make sense of things, the mind looks for Evidence to support its belief systems. And then if you are in middle school and a girl that you like turns her back on you, immediately those sensations and those feelings are triggered. And then you're like, what, am I not good enough?

[Host]

What?

[Ryan Zofe]

And then you just compound this belief of you're not good enough.

[Host]

Right.

[Ryan Zofe]

And then the mind looks for evidence to, to support that belief system. Getting older 100%. And so that was like a big battle for me, dude. Like, I still struggle sometimes with feeling not good enough.

[Host]

I felt that way too. And yeah, it's crazy how much you pick up as a kid because I, I have an avoidant personality. Like when you take that test.

[Ryan Zofe]

Sure.

[Host]

And I realized it was because my parents would fight a lot and my dad would retreat.

[Ryan Zofe]

Sure.

[Host]

And he wouldn't fight. He would just retreat back to his room. So I guess I picked that up as a kid. So for sure. But in business, like, I avoid conflict. It's not good. You can't grow. So our mutual friend Jeremy's been helping me tackle stuff more heads on, you know.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah. He's an incredible friend. And, you know, shout out to Jeremy for supporting me to get me on the show and thank you for allowing me here to share a message of hope because I think that's, that's, that's like the biggest life lesson I've learned.

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[Ryan Zofe]

You know, I've been in this pursuit of trying to fill that void. Right. Like the way I look, the money I make, the amount of Attention I get from, from, from women or whatever it is. And, and all of that time I was really just running from a void that I wasn't good enough. And then you get all the things. You get the women, you get the money, you get the house, you get all those things and then you're just like, why am I not fulfilled? Like, I have all this stuff, I have all these cool trophies, but why do I still feel empty inside? And that's when I really started to, to like dive into this work and really master human behavior and master psychology so that I could understand my emotions and master my emotions. Because the, the, the, the end product of, of a thought is, is a feeling. And that's what the quality of your life is based on, the quality of how you feel. And so if you're feeling this level of avoidant, if you're feeling, feeling like you're not confident, if you're feeling insecure, how is life like shitty if you're feeling those things?

[Host]

Right. Yeah, I love that. So you feel like you have good emotional mastery right now?

[Ryan Zofe]

I do at this point.

[Host]

What was that process like to get there? Because I, I'm assuming at first you couldn't control your emotions.

[Ryan Zofe]

No, dude, I was out of control. So anger was my go to. It was more anger's rage. I was an absolute maniac because my dad was abusive and my mom being stabbed by my stepfather and then he attempted to take her life and shot her in the neck with a gun. So like extreme violence was like what I was exposed to. And when I got sober, that was like my go to. I was like my go to addiction because it allowed me to escape the present moment, allowed me to escape what I was feeling, what was coming up. And then there was a level of control. So like my deepest fears, you're going to leave me. My sister left me, my mom left me, my dad left me. So that was like the model of my world is like, everybody's going to leave me. And so once I realized that if I control the room, once I realize if I can control you with my anger, then I'm in control if you're leaving me or not. So that was the illusion that I had at that time. Wow.

[Host]

So how did you break that? Because that sounds like a tough one to get out of, dude.

[Ryan Zofe]

I'm at probably 10,000 hours of like real deep work, whether I'm teaching people or participating in a seminar. So I think I've done like over 180 events at this point, participating in teaching and What I have found is it's, it's like a practice. It's just like going to the gym or it's, you know, getting on podcasts or, or getting your reps. And the more I would show up to these events, the more I would lean into those discomfortable moments, the easier it got. And then I would feel some sense of peace. I would be like, oh, wow, maybe I'm not so bad. Maybe, maybe it isn't as bad as I think it is, you know? And so just, just a ton of work, bro. Like over 10,000 hours of just diving in and just grinding.

[Host]

Good old hard work. Yeah. People aren't willing to put in those hours into improving themselves.

[Ryan Zofe]

No, dude. And it. And I'm so grateful because my success, I believe, is a byproduct of wanting to feel better. Because I absolutely hated myself. I hated my life. The teachers that I had didn't show me how to have self love or self respect or have compassion. And so that, that was like my North Star. Like, I just wanted to feel good. So everything I did was hoping that it would make me feel good. You know, I felt like if I look better in the gym, I'd feel better. Which there's a byproduct. You do start to feel better making the money, I'll feel better. And so once I started doing the deep trauma work around all of the voids that I experienced growing up and all the trauma that I experienced growing up, I started to experience that peace. And then my success, actually 10x I started to get so much further, so much faster because I started to feel better about myself. Who I was showing up in the world was changing, how people were experiencing me was changing.

[Host]

That's super fascinating to me because a lot of people make all this money and they never fix themselves. But you're saying you did that and it helped you make even more money.

[Ryan Zofe]

100 dude. So 2012, I was a commodity broker. I was selling precious metals investments. And it wasn't morally aligned with, with, with what I really wanted to do in the world. But I was hooked because I wanted to be. I thought being rich was going to solve my problems. And then I was sued by the Federal Trade Commission. And I remember the day they walked in to serve me with the papers and I just felt like such a failure. I couldn't believe that this is where I was at. I was like, what the hell am I doing, doing? You know, it was almost like I was in like a dream and I was in a bad dream and I just Woke up like, what the hell is going on? And then I go home and that belief that I'm never gonna be good enough, the belief that I'm never going to be loved, the belief that I'm always gonna be left happened. My fiance said, I'm out.

[Host]

Damn. From that lawsuit.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah. She didn't. She didn't want to stand by my side at that time.

[Host]

Wow.

[Ryan Zofe]

And so looking back now, I can say that was the best thing that happened to me because I literally hit rock bottom. That was actually more painful, more devastating. Then looking at 25 to life and literally dying at the scene. The FTC lawsuit was 10 times more painful.

[Host]

Wow. Yeah. But you weren't facing prison time. It was just more painful in a different sense.

[Ryan Zofe]

Well, because I was sober, you know, like, there was a level of. I was. I was aware of what I was doing and I was just, like, literally just like pretending like the pink elephant wasn't in the room. Like the pink elephant was there. I knew what I was doing wasn't right.

[Host]

No.

[Ryan Zofe]

But I was just like, whatever. I just want to be rich. I was just disregarding it. The addiction kind of happened by from a byproduct of just being around my family. And so when I woke up in juvie at 16, I was like, all right, like, what the hell? I'm screwed. But I didn't really know what was going on. I knew what was going on when I was doing the precious metals. And so, like, it just really crushed me because, like, in recovery, they, they, they teach you, like, spiritual principles. And the objective is to become a good person. And so that was. I was out of alignment with that. And so it just really devastated me. It was absolutely crushing, for sure.

[Host]

So you lost everything? Wife, your money?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah. So fiance left me. The FTC wanted to freeze everything I was doing. I was going through a preliminary injunction. My lawyers were able to prove that I wasn't, you know, defraudently stealing from people. It was what they claimed, you know, high pressure sales tactics. And at the end of the day, the market got smoked. You know, gold was at like an all time high. And it literally got cut in half. Silver was at 50, it got cut in half. And so everybody was on margin accounts. And so a lot of people lost money. I was really preying on people's greed. And so for me, it was. It was an opportunity for me to just get out. You know, like, it was like the breaking point that I needed. You know, what I find in life today is like, pain and pleasure, motivate. People. And unfortunately, pain is usually the leverage that somebody needs to do something different. And so that was a good leverage point for me to dive in and start doing like the deep trauma work.

[Host]

It's an interesting concept. Right? You need to reach such a rock bottom to get to the next level.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, for sure.

[Host]

You need to go through a lot of pain.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

That's why I wonder when, like kids that are born into successful families, will they ever experience that pain that we did?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, you know, and it's interesting. Rudolph Drikers did this study and he was with a bunch of psychiatrists and psychologists and he was, he was speaking to the audience and he said, do you know what the most damaging behavior that children can go through? And the audience was like rape and abuse and, and he was like, that's all severe. He said, but there's even something that's has greater risk and greater challenge, causes more problems. And that is doing something for the child that the child can do themselves. And so, you know, that's. That really just, that just stuck with me because I'm like, man, like now looking back, I'm like, well, thank God, because my parents were absolutely absent. And it like forced me to find a way, it forced me to persevere, forced me to build skills, build a skill set. And navigating through all of that, that helped me apply that stuff into business, helped me apply, you know, speaking on stages, impacting people in seminars. Because I've been through it, you know, I've been through the gauntlet. And so it's easier for me to see life through this lens because of the challenges I went through. I meet so many people that are spoiled and were dealt, you know, given a silver spoon and just had everything given to them. And I just, I feel so bad because they're literally like helpless and they don't understand what grit means and they don't understand what it looks like to go out there and grind.

[Host]

Right.

[Ryan Zofe]

And that to me is, is like a byproduct of success. For sure.

[Host]

Yeah, they're spoon fed. They call them helicopter parents. You know, can't be too hands on. But if you're too hands off, there's people in your situation that it never worked out for them too. So I guess you kind of need somewhere in the middle, right?

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure, for sure.

[Host]

I don't think most people could do the hands off approach.

[Ryan Zofe]

Well, I mean, you could teach people skills. I mean, I think like public speaking is, is probably one of the most incredible skills I've learned. It Built so much confidence. And to be good at public speaking, there has to be a level of vulnerability. And to have vulnerability, you have to have a level of self love and compassion for yourself. And when you have self love and compassion, you can then have that for others and you become more impactful because you're less judgment, you're less judgmental, and you're. You're more empathetic to what they're going through, which creates a safe space for them to expose the thing that they are avoiding or wanting to avoid.

[Host]

Yeah. Public speaking and storytelling, I think, are both really valuable these days, especially with the rise of AI. Like, if you can have that in your repertoire and stand out from everyone, for sure, it's huge. Look at the impact when you speak on a stage of a thousand people.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

They go home and tell one or two people.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, there's a spreads. Yeah. Powerful ripple effect.

[Host]

Were you good right at the start when you started?

[Ryan Zofe]

Nah, dude, I. I was not, man. I just had like a relentless pursuit. And so when I first started sales, sales is my first real, like, breakout moment. When I started doing commodities 2007, and literally they gave me a piece of paper and said, read this script. Dial 300 dials a day and you'll be a millionaire. And I was like, what? And so I was like, all right, that's easy. I knew how, I knew what working hard meant, but just reading the scripts over and over and over again, I started to strengthen that muscle. And then it just evolved over time. And then as I started going to these events and starting to see these speakers impact and then me being impacted and me participating, I was like, wow, this is something that I can do, you know, And I was such a empath. And I can feel people. I ended up acquiring a gift to identify, like, unconscious patterns and identify blocks and people. And I can experience that, you know, And. And so once I started to, like, really master that skill, hone in that skill, I look around and my life is getting better. The people around me are getting better. I'm becoming more attractive to these people.

[Host]

And.

[Ryan Zofe]

And I started to understand that, you know, the more impact I can create in the world, the more value I can add in people's lives that directly correlated to income. And so I started to feel good about what I was up to.

[Host]

So you have really high emotional intelligence, it sounds like. Yeah, that's a good skill to have, for sure. I don't know if that one's teachable, to be honest.

[Ryan Zofe]

You don't think so?

[Host]

I think to a degree. But the people I've met that have it and have it good, like, they're born with it, from what I've seen, for sure.

[Ryan Zofe]

I mean, I think anything could be evolved. Right. Like, I absolutely suck at reading and writing. And I mean, I don't have a desire to get better, but the little bit of effort that I have put in, I've seen myself improve. And I do believe if I. If I focused on it as hard as I focus on public speaking, I do believe there's a level of evolving that could happen for me. But most people don't really know the steps to take to really have that emotional intelligence or to even get to a place of the ability to regulate their emotions or express their emotions.

[Host]

Right. And I also think as men, it's kind of like it's. It's becoming more talked about now. But growing up, it was like a taboo topic to talk about emotions, like, opening up. Right.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

But it's super important, for sure, you know?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah. I mean, it's. I. I believe that is a superpower. I think the ability to, like, fully express emotions. I mean, at the end of the day, like, growing up, that was. That was what happened. For those that have these voids, they weren't able to understand or express their emotions. And so that's what trauma is. It's. It's unexpressed experience that you can't make sense of. And there's these trauma capsules that are put into our autonomic nervous system, and that's what's getting triggered when things are happening or situations are happening in our environment or. Or unable to control ourselves internally through those messes. And so the only way that you can really build emotional intelligence, in my view, like, true to its core, is going through processes to express that stuff, like reliving those childhood moments, having those conversations from that child's perspective.

[Host]

Right.

[Ryan Zofe]

Because there's different parts of us that. That live, that exist, that were created at a time when that part needed to come out. And so, like, there's. There's like Charles Jung talks about, like, archetypes. And so everybody has these different versions of themselves. And so the inner child a lot of times runs the show. So, like, if you're throwing a temper tantrum or if you're like, in a fight, you know, if you ask yourself, like, how old am I being right now? You're going to name a number and you're like, 12, 13, 6, 5. So that part of you needs to express himself. And so creating a safe environment to Allow that process to happen. Starts to shift your perspective, change your memories, and you have a different experience about it.

[Host]

I love that. Yeah, you probably tried all sorts of therapies with the 10,000 hours you mentioned earlier, for sure.

[Ryan Zofe]

But that's what I found is like the real root. It addresses the cause. It addresses the root cause of what's going on. And so that's why whenever I hear people doing work, I'm always curious, like, what modality are they up to? And a lot of people today, a lot of these coaches out there in the world, they teach from a symptoms perspective. Like, they're like, oh, I'm not feeling good. So, like, all right, journal. Well, journaling is just addressing the symptom or, like, meditating or. Or, you know, talking about, like, talk therapy. Unless you're going back to the event, the cause that started it, you're really not. It's like. It's like a root canal. It's like, if I have a root canal, if I. If I. If I have a cavity and I go to the dentist, and the dentist like, yo, you have a cavity, and. And they're like, all right, just floss. You're flossing. But the cavity still. They're like, oh, do use mouthwash. The cavity is still there. Brush your teeth. Well, the cavity is still there. Nothing is going to happen until you go in there and dig out the. The, you know, the problem or dig out the.

[Host]

The. The.

[Ryan Zofe]

The. You know, the cavity.

[Host]

No, that's a great point, because I know people that have done therapy for 10 years and they haven't seemed to gotten much better. So you need to actually get to the root cause is what I'm saying.

[Ryan Zofe]

100, dude. And that was really my path to getting here, for sure.

[Host]

What was the specific. Was it a specific treatment or person or book?

[Ryan Zofe]

I mean, there's so many, like, mentors that. That have really worked with me. My first real experience with, like, deep trauma work was a place called On Site. And in Tennessee, they. They really deal with the root cause of what's going on. They. They create a safe place for you to go back and relive those moments.

[Host]

I've heard of that spot, I think.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, it's dope, bro. They. They do experiential therapy, trauma work, inner child work. And so once I was exposed to that, I found a program in south Florida called TLC and I. I did like 30 of those events. And then I ended up becoming really good friends with one of the main instructors. And then he's been Coaching me over the last eight years.

[Host]

Wow.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

Put in the work, man. That's off to. You've come a long way and now you're teaching people how to heal themselves.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

Look at the impact of that. Is that your main message when you're speaking on stage? How to heal from trauma?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, through real life examples of what it looks like to be at rock bottom and, you know, what things can be implemented to ultimately change or shift your perspective. Because at the end of the day, we are 100% responsible for our perception of what happened. And so often people get caught up in blaming and having this, like, victim mindset, and they have such a hard time, like, owning responsibility. And when I say responsibility, I'm saying it from, like, an empowerment perspective, like being empowered, like owning what happened and owning your experience and shifting the meaning around it. Right. Changing the story that you have around what happened. Because for such a long time, I had a story around, like, my mom was abusive, my dad was abusive, which that happened. But there's a difference between when you're bitter about it or you're grateful for it. And so if you have that shift, your whole experience of life changes.

[Host]

Absolutely. I used to be a really big blamer. I would blame everyone other than me.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah.

[Host]

I don't think there's any room for blaming even. Even if they've messed up. Like, I think just take accountability because you're the one that hired them or whatever.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

Full accountability, you know?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, I really resonate with that. For sure.

[Host]

Yeah. I learned that from Tate, actually. I know he's controversial, but that guy takes everything he's dealing with he says is his fault.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure. Yeah. Absolute responsibility. I mean, it's something I teach in leadership. It's. It's. It's. If you own it to that degree, you are going to win so much more. Because to your point, like, you don't have time to sit around and, like, blame and point the finger like you're taking action to do something to change the environment, to change the outcome.

[Host]

Yeah, for sure. And you've had hundreds of employees. You got. You got over 600 employees.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, over 600 today.

[Host]

So you know a thing or two about that.

[Ryan Zofe]

There's few leadership skills.

[Host]

Which company is that for?

[Ryan Zofe]

So we level up. The brand that I'm wearing here, It's. It's interesting. 2019, I rebranded it and I thought of it more of like a lifestyle brand because recovery was a big part of me getting here, and I'm actively involved still to this day, with recovery. And I was like, man, like, it's more than just, like, drug treatment. It's more than just, like, a rehab center. Like, we're literally teaching people how to adopt a new lifestyle. And so I was like, what's a cool lifestyle brand? And I was thinking we level up because that's the mindset that we all have. Like, the culture of our company, the people that I'm involved with, the people that we teach, and anybody in life and anybody listening to us right now, like, the whole objective in life is to level up, Right? It's like we're chasing our future self. And so I felt like it just really resonated with me when we branded it.

[Host]

Level up. I love that. Always trying to level up.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, for sure.

[Host]

When you lost all your money and. And that was rock bottom. Like, did that make you want to keep pursuing money, or did you kind of have a different mindset after that?

[Ryan Zofe]

So when I went to. On site, that was one of the lessons that I learned. It was like, I was putting money in front of everything, you know, in front of my morals, my values, and I was doing anything and everything to get more success, make more money. And then I realized that it wasn't aligned with, like, impact. It wasn't aligned with fulfillment. And so at onsite, one of the things were to, like, dream and make things happen. There was, like, a process you go through. And I remember being in early recovery, living in a halfway house with sober men. And I remember I was such an influence to help these guys because I got young. I got sober so young, and I was like, wow, that'd be so cool if I could, like, be involved at that capacity, like, make a difference, inspire people. Like, help people. Because, you know, growing up, both parents were duly addicted and going through all the abuse, I was like, man, it'd be so cool if I could do this. And it's funny because my business partner today used to work at this place, and we used to joke because he used to always drive, like, Rolls Royces, and he lived on the water, and. And I was like, I don't know what the hell that guy is doing, but I want that Sharif money. That was what I used to say. And so, lo and behold, I found somebody that wasn't doing so well in the business. And I. I got some seed capital from my dad right after my lawsuit. And I realized shortly after that, like, this was a very successful business. And I was like, wow, this is so cool that my journey got me to a Place where I'm, like, truly fulfilling and I can make the type of money that I want to make.

[Host]

Right. That's the key. Right?

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

Because I've had a lot of businesses, and I've had businesses where I'm making more money than I currently am now. But I wasn't as fulfilled. I wasn't as happy.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure.

[Host]

Right now, most fulfilled I've ever been. Wow.

[Ryan Zofe]

And why do you think that is?

[Host]

Impact. I'm seeing the messages I get, the people coming up to me in person, the conversations I'm having with people. And now I'm hosting debates and giving both sides a voice. Just feels amazing that people can get that off their chest and inspire people.

[Ryan Zofe]

That's so powerful, bro. And. And that's. That's essentially what's happened for me, dude, because, like, I'm at a place in life. I'm at a season where it's like, the. I don't really need more money. Like, I have more than I could have ever imagined. I have this abundance of success. And now it's like, man, like, how can I leave a legacy? Like, how can I truly impact the world in a crazy, insane way? You know? And I. I was around Tony Robbins for a long time, and he has a big mission, and he's fed over a billion people. And you saw that. Yeah, he's. He's just insane, dude. And I. I've been inspired by him, and that's what kind of gave me the leverage to. To become a speaker and to. To be a catalyst of change. And now it's just so powerful to see the healing in others and see people that feel stuck, feel blocked, not feeling good about themselves, you know, feeling completely insecure, and then giving them a set of tools that they can implement in their life and see their life get better. It's just so.

[Host]

I love it. Shout out to Tony Robbins, dude. That's the og. That's the goat. His book, Life Force. Phenomenal. It might have saved my life for all I know.

[Ryan Zofe]

Wow.

[Host]

I got an MRI from that book and found some pretty serious health issues.

[Ryan Zofe]

Wow.

[Host]

So shout out to Tony Robbins. That dude's probably saved millions of lives, dude.

[Ryan Zofe]

It's so crazy, bro. Like, I remembered it was November 2019. He came out. We were in the American Airlines arena, and at this point, I was not publicly speaking. I was just thinking about it and having a passion for it, but not doing anything about it. And so many people do that, right? They have these, like, dreams and these goals and these things they want to do. But they don't do anything about it. And he came out on stage and I was just like, Holy shit. Like 15,000 people are going nuts. Like, that's what I want to do. And immediately I made the decision. I was like, I'm going to speak on the stage one day. And it happened, bro. I spoke on his stage multiple times.

[Host]

No way.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, man.

[Host]

I got to learn how you worked your way up to his radar and how you got on there.

[Ryan Zofe]

Just serving, bro. Like, he's all about servant leadership, you know, and if, if you are truly just pursuing impact in the biggest way, it's just natural, you know, and it's so crazy because, like, it's come full circle. I've, I've just been invited into one of his top masterminds.

[Host]

Yeah, he's got a million dollar one, right?

[Ryan Zofe]

I say, I think he coaches people for that. Like, I think that was like his individual coaching. There's Zenith, which is the, the new one that him and Dean just launched.

[Host]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's the one I'm thinking of.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, it's invite only. So I, yeah, just did my interview with, with Dean and, and I'm just, it was crazy. Dean's like, you have any questions? And I'm like, bro, like, I'm just so grateful. Like, I'm sitting here like, come on, man. Like, dude, like, thank you. Like, I have no questions. Like, it's so funny because, like, you know, I coach people now and, and I, I, I some. It's so crazy, like, seeing people's limiting beliefs and like, they get so scared and the fear, like, paralyze them. And I don't know where this quote came from, but it's like if you're ever invited on a rocket ship, like, don't ask which seat, just get on, you know? So like, that was in my mind when I'm like sitting there with Dean, I'm like, I got no questions, bro. Like, how many events? He's like, three. I was like, all right, cool, sign me up. I don't know, like, what am I going to say?

[Host]

Like, I don't blame you. Think about the impact that Mastermind will have on the entire world. Those 300 people or however many are in that. I mean, the amount of impact that room has is insane.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah, there's a handful of billionaires and there's some high level people in there. And yeah, proximity is everything, right? Like who you surround yourself with. And that's exactly what they said. They said they created that to impact the world in the biggest way. And I'm just so grateful that I'm aligned with people like that that can give me their habits, their mindsets, and just expand my mind to see what's possible.

[Host]

I attribute a lot of my success because of masterminds and proximity. Because when you're young, you want to surround yourself with people doing way better than you, you know, And a lot of people don't do that, for sure. They stick around people their age or whatever, which is fine. But if you want to level up, go for the wisdom, go for the people that have been through it.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure. It's crazy because, like, growing up, like your environment models and conditions, your personality, you know, how you think, how what you believe and how you behave that that's what happens growing up. And then you get older, you have to actually change your personality in order to change your personal reality. And so if you think about it, right, like somebody's like, yo, I want to go join this mastermind. Well, the thought of being different already happened. And so, yeah, they go to the mastermind, they're exposed, they learn new habits and new ideas and new skills and they start to evolve. But most people don't recognize or realize that the belief has to happen first. Like, you have to have this desire to change who you're being in the world in order for you to truly change. And so, yeah, bro, it's just so powerful, man. I love it now. I love speaking at them. I love facilitating. We're actually doing one on Saturday here in Aria, so I brought a bunch of people. Well, that's why I have a crew, actually. A couple high level people want to take their life to the next level. And anytime I've been in an environment like that, we all get this different consciousness, this. This different perspective. We see things differently. We are vibrating at a higher frequency. We want to make bigger, more decisions, bigger impact.

[Host]

Right.

[Ryan Zofe]

And it just elevates our game.

[Host]

Yeah, it's hard to explain for people that haven't done it, but there's just something magical in that room, right?

[Ryan Zofe]

So powerful.

[Host]

Yeah, I love what you said. Because what got you to one spot won't be what gets you to the next level. Right?

[Ryan Zofe]

So true.

[Host]

And people just try to repeat the same thing over and over, but you need new information, new types of people around you to get to that next level.

[Ryan Zofe]

For sure. You know, it's so interesting. Like I. For whatever reason, you know, and again, like looking back today, like, I can see how cool it was going through what I went through, like with my dad and My mom and all that crazy stuff. Because I've always had this, like, competitive nature of, like, wanting to be around people that were better than me. Like, I never wanted to be the smartest guy. I never wanted to be the best guy. I wanted to compete for the best. I always wanted somebody to, like, challenge me or, like, bring the best out of me.

[Host]

And.

[Ryan Zofe]

And it's. It's so true, bro, because, like, so many people are like a big fish in a small pond, and they're wondering why they're not getting anywhere. You gotta find leverage, you know, like, we're. We're trying to become our future self. Well, yeah. Commitment, discipline, you know, accountability, take action. All that stuff's important. But if you don't have leverage to force you to that next level, there's no way that stuff's gonna happen. And so, like, when you think about, like, pain, right? Like, pain is such a leverage piece because it's like, holy shit, my back's against the wall. You literally feel like you have to do something, and that's what catapults people forward. And so joining masterminds, investing in yourself, writing that check, it gives you leverage.

[Host]

Yeah. Moving to major cities, if you're young and you can afford it, I think.

[Ryan Zofe]

That'S a good move.

[Host]

That's what I did. Yeah. Because I grew up in Jersey, but there's not many entrepreneurs in the city I was in. And I was a big fish in a small pond, especially for my age. But moving to Vegas, man, there's billionaires. Billionaires out here.

[Ryan Zofe]

Sure.

[Host]

Or Moses out here. Founder, Panda Express.

[Sponsor Announcer]

There's all sorts.

[Host]

Dan Bazarian, all these billionaires, successful guys, bro. So that's what you got to do, man.

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah. I'm proud of you, man. And again, thank you so much for allowing me to. To share my message and really just give a message of hope, man, because the cards I was dealt, you know, people don't make it.

[Host]

Absolutely.

[Ryan Zofe]

You know, so I'm just grateful to be alive.

[Host]

Great story. Where can people find you and support you and go to your events and everything?

[Ryan Zofe]

Yeah. So my Instagram is easiest. Ryan Zofe.com or Ryan Zofe at Ryan Zofa, whatever it is, all the information is there, all the updates of the events and everything are there on my social.

[Host]

Beautiful. I'll try to make it to one of your events as well. Yeah, bro, can't wait to watch you speak.

[Ryan Zofe]

We should do an event here. We should put it.

[Host]

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do one for sure. We'll check them out. Guys, thanks for watching. I'll see you next time.

[Ryan Zofe]

God bless.

[Sponsor Announcer]

I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Please don't forget to like and subscribe.

[Host]

It helps the show a lot with the algorithm. Thank you.