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Digital Social Hour
Redefining Success: The Heart vs. Mind Dilemma | Jarek Tadla DSH #760
00:39:20
Unlock a groundbreaking perspective on success with the latest episode of the Digital Social Hour! 🚀 Join Sean Kelly and special guest Jarek Tadla as they dive deep into the heart vs. mind dilemma and redefine what success truly means. 🤔 From overco
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- [00:02]
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Yarik Tala
This time. I said, like, when I'm gonna redesign this all the attic, restructure this all the Attic, I want to do it my way and ask for all the help I can possibly can.
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Host
A lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it. You know, I was hiding, man.
- [00:45]
Yarik Tala
Like, I was hiding for so many years. If the last thing didn't happen, I would probably wouldn't be here.
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Host
All right, guys from Poland moved here at 21. Yarak Tala, thanks for coming on, man.
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Yarik Tala
Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah.
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Host
What was it like over there those first 21 years?
- [01:04]
Yarik Tala
You know what it was? It was. I. I think it was, like, a very good journey. I needed. So what happened is, when I moved here, I appreciated everything this. This country has to offer, and for being the immigrant and just see everything how. How accessible and the wealth. Because I moved here 1993, that. The steps was humongous. And I'm telling you, the second pass, like, you know, across the border, I got my green card. I'm like, I'm not gonna waste it. Like, here. Here you go.
- [01:35]
Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
We say in my country, like, United States, you know, the money is, you know, is growing on the trees and laying on the floors, and it's like. I'm like, you know, just. You have to learn, and you have to kind of, like, see it. But I immediately went to work, and I did not waste any of my time.
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Host
I love it. Did you come alone or with your family?
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Yarik Tala
No, I came with my parents.
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Host
Okay.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah, my parents won the green card. And what happened is I. Because I was under 21, I was six days before. So I. You know, me and my sister immediately jump on it.
- [02:05]
Host
Got it.
- [02:06]
Yarik Tala
So that's how we came in. My older brother came 10 years later because he did not qualify because he was over 21. And.
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Host
Did you all speak English?
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Yarik Tala
Hell, no.
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Host
Oh, you didn't?
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Yarik Tala
No. No.
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Host
That must have been tough.
- [02:16]
Yarik Tala
No. But, you know, what happened is when you in the. In a. In a society that everybody speaks English, it's easier.
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Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
Because, you know, you just merge, and then, you know, everything around it, it just takes like, to comprehend it take, like three months and to speak at six months.
- [02:32]
Host
Oh, it's not bad. Okay.
- [02:33]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. You know, I mean, you're 21, young. You, you know, we observe the. The knowledge, like, immediately, so.
- [02:38]
Host
And that first job, dishwasher, Right?
- [02:40]
Yarik Tala
Yes.
- [02:41]
Host
I did my research on you. Oh, yeah.
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Yarik Tala
But, you know, like, when I tell people this was my best job, people's like, why? Why would you say that? Because at that time, I didn't speak any English, so I was not involved in any politics, any, like, gossiping, anything. I was just doing my job, going to, you know, going home, going to school, you know, English, second language and the college, and I was happy. Then when I started listening English and I, you know, I understand all the politics and everything's going on and gossip.
- [03:08]
Host
I was like, okay, that's the one bad part about America.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
The gossiping.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
Celebrity culture.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah. But I don't think it's only in us. I think it's all, you know, all over the world. Yeah.
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Host
India has a big Bollywood or whatever.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
It's probably worldwide, right?
- [03:20]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
People will always kind of hate on those more successful and famous.
- [03:23]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. And now with the social media that, I mean, you have access to everything.
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Host
Yeah. It's amplified everywhere.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
Yeah. And now mental health because of social media is pretty, pretty bad. And I know you talk a lot about that, too.
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Yarik Tala
I talk a lot about mental health and emotional fitness because I, like, I went through so many stages in my life that wasn't completely aware of it. You know, when all this stuff, like, something really bad happened to me, I thought it's just, I was a, you know, God was sending me a, you know, red flags. Just wake up, wake up. But I'm a slow learner. It took me a while until I hit the bottom of the bottom. And every time I hit the bottom of the bottom, I said, that's the bottom of the bottom. And then two years later, I was like, this was just a warning.
- [04:04]
Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
I was like, I give you a warning, man. I give you a warning. And, like, you know, I'm telling you, I'm a slow learner, but until I got the. The signal and, and awareness and I want. That's why I'm. I'm here with the social media. You know, social media is a gift and a curse. You know, you can. You can use it for the good or for the bad.
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Host
Agreed.
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Yarik Tala
And, you know, we have, like, you know, everybody have access to us, like, you know, own Bible and people know you and, like, family and friends, but On a, on a, on a social media. I mean you can, I mean there's 8 billion people.
- [04:35]
Host
Yep.
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Yarik Tala
You know, so you can really reach and connect with people that really need help and relate to, you know, like with the, with your message.
- [04:42]
Host
I'm very careful with my feet because it's easy to compare yourself on social media. So I try not to follow people that flash their expensive lifestyle or cars or materialistic stuff. I try to follow motivational people, healthy people. And my feed now is really good. But I used to compare myself a lot because of social media.
- [04:59]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. You know the comparison game. But here what it is, my pet peeve. My pet peeve is because it's unfortunate in this society, depends how much money you're worth. That's how much respect you get. And what happened is when I hit the bottom of the bottom, I need like fathers, I need people that went through it. And all those good fathers, all the good examples, they were not social media flushing all the stuff. There were guys, fathers that were working two or three jobs and I didn't have access to them. And then I didn't want to listen to somebody who accomplished everything. It's on social media, but yet it's like he's a douchebag. He's not a good father, he's not a good, you know, role model. And it's, it's hard to kind of find those right people.
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Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
And it was hard for me to find anybody that I can connect with that's going through the same stuff that I do, you know.
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Host
So how were you able to find that first mentor?
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Yarik Tala
Well, what happened is when I found my first mentor, I mean, you know, like I, I was always self improvement. So Tony Robbins was like, you know, since 2002, like I was deep, deep in with Tony Robbins. And then after my ski accident, 2016, I found Raul. The edge, the edge group, that's my brotherhood. I've been with them eight years and he was the first guy that really woke me up because like, like there's something, there's missing something in me. I'm not happy. But what happened is I didn't even know how to ask questions. Like, I just don't like it. Yeah, but why you don't like it? Like the feelings that I have, you know, it just first with the emotions and feelings, it's, we don't understand them, we feel them, but we don't get it. Like, but this is not it. You know, I'm like 40, 44, 44 year old man, like by rules, rules of society. I have everything, yet I'm miserable. Like, there's emptiness inside. And I start looking for answers, and I couldn't find it. So I start, you know, hiring coaches and, and people, you know, because Tony Robbins, very big, you know, you go to the seminars, there's thousands, thousands of people.
- [07:01]
Host
Yeah. You're not getting one on one with him.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah, I was looking for like a more intimate, you know, kind of one on one. And that's how I found with the group.
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Host
Nice.
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Yarik Tala
And then from then, the journey just started.
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Host
Dude, that's crazy. So you almost died from that accident, right? The ski accident?
- [07:15]
Yarik Tala
The ski accident was very serious. I did not die. But what happened? I was six months in hospital. I got 13 surgeries, in and out.
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Host
Geez.
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Yarik Tala
And I almost lost my leg. I broke everything in my body. But however, the biggest problem was my leg couldn't recover and, and completely rewrite the story in my head.
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Host
Your head?
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Yarik Tala
Like, completely. Like, I, I, I didn't realize how weak I am.
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Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
Because like, I could conquer everything. I put my, my mind to it. And yet I struggle with this. But then I recover anyway, you know, because it's the, you know, I use my, you know, my work ethics and, and I don't know how, like, I always question myself in my voices. Do were we born with the work ethics or were the parents give it to us? I, I, you know, because, like, why some people have it so much and some people don't.
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Host
Right.
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Yarik Tala
So, so I could always put my mind and get out of it. So of course, the recovery took two years. And you know, but the imposter syndrome in my head and, and was keep telling me that, hey, you know, you're not doing enough, you know, now you won't be good father. You can play the soccer. You cannot, you know, know, at that time, I have four kids.
- [08:30]
Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
So what do you mean? I cannot walk anymore in my life. You know, suddenly then not enoughness came in, which is, by the way, in my book, I'm not gonna be great father. I'm not gonna be enough. I'm not gonna be enough for my kids. And the story was getting worse and worse and worse. I'm like, I become a victim of my own circumstances that I created. I mean, this is nothing. You just had a ski accident. But because I recover, of course, you know, and the two years later, everything recovered, you know, I forgot about it.
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Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
So it's like I'm a Gloria. I, I come out of it, and then two years later, divorce. Oh. I was like, I'm like, are you kidding me? But I was already mentally prepared. I already was aware of emotional intelligence and fitness and awareness.
- [09:13]
Host
Oh, so you saw it coming.
- [09:15]
Yarik Tala
So they said, like, you know. Yeah. So I was kind of, like, mentally prepared, but I wasn't prepared. I was like, oh, right. I was on the bottom of the bottom after the ski accident, right? Boom. Divorce, okay. Then I recover after divorce. Then my oldest child just, you know, move out and disown me. Then the second child, I'm like, God, why me? Like, what did I do?
- [09:37]
Host
Wow, he disowned you.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
Holy crap.
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Yarik Tala
So, but now we're good. My kids came and I will love it, but it took me two years. But the, the problem with all the inner works that I took, you know, because I become the douchebag, you know, I become the, you know, the guy to have everything and everybody, you know, I look at for all my validation outside the world. Like, you know, so if I want to be loved, I want to look at foundation. If I buy more stuff or I win another competition or, you know, I, you know, I buy more businesses and have more employees, and that's where I look at for validations.
- [10:13]
Host
Right. A lot of people think that way.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah. And so I become product of your environment. Yeah, exactly. And. And I have to completely disconnect it. And that's where the inner work started.
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Host
Wow. So do you think you were so strict on your kids? They kind of distanced themselves.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah, because what happened is I was strict on myself. I was. I'm telling you, brother, if the way I talk to myself, I would not have anybody around me. I talk to my myself, like. But that was like, the motivation, you know, I mean, you motivate. Like getting up at 4 o'clock in the morning, not going to gym, it's like, oh, my God, get up, get up. Like, what the hell? You loser. You. This, like, the way I talk to myself, it become my identity. But also, even though I did not speak to other people, but I carry the energy. But then I emptied the bag because, you know, because I want to, you know, just looking for validation from other people, I empty my bucket and I become people pleaser. And that depleted me more and more and more because I forgot about little Yar.
- [11:15]
Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
I forgot about myself. So when I hit the depression that the, you know, that I want to get out of the bed, I was like, oh, my God, like, I'm empty. I just gift everything away. But that's where the awareness started. I was like, okay, now we're Going to work. And this is the work that I absolutely don't know how to do. Because you have all the voices in your head and the impostor that, you know, you trained for 50 years and now imagine how you change your habits.
- [11:43]
Host
Right.
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Yarik Tala
You know, it's hard. So that's where you go and.
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Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
It yourself.
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Host
And you were on your own for years, right?
- [11:51]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
So that must have been probably the lowest of the low right there.
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Yarik Tala
Yes.
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Host
By yourself with all this money and probably a huge house.
- [11:58]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. Because what happened is I built the. The, you know, the huge bunker around me, and I didn't want any. Nobody in it. But what happened is by me not allowing anybody in it because everybody wants something from me, you know, I did not allowed anybody in it. Guess what? I did not allow anybody out of it. So all the pain always stay inside. So when Raul helped me with, you know, taking the. The bricks down, I start opening. And I just realized, you know, when I become vulnerable, how much people around help me and just sharing the story and just, you know, being present and being vulnerable, and it's like almost like I. I like that.
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Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
But the imposter and the devil, because that, you know, the devil was still in my head, you know? Yeah, you loser. You're not doing this. You know, you're not doing this. It's like, you know, yeah, you're good here, but you're horrible here. And it's the voices and me understanding that I'm not the only. I thought that I'm the only one going through all these issues. And I was like, I was born like that, you know, I was going through the. To the issues when I was swimming, when I was in high school, when I was in college, when I was like, you know, building my careers. And I was like, that's why I kind of distanced myself from anybody, you know, because I had to, like. And then I realized everybody is like that. All the guys, like all the men is like, huh? It's like, I'm not the only one, right? And it's like we all have these voices. Like, I thought this devil imposter just sitting in my head and just with me.
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Host
Yeah.
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Yarik Tala
And it's like, oh, we all have it. You have it. I can guarantee, like, you know.
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Host
Yeah. I talk to myself a lot, actually.
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Yarik Tala
You know, how is. How is your self talk?
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Host
Mine used to be very negative, dude. I grew up in a household where my parents were very negative, pessimistic. And it took me years to change that. Even still today, I get Negative thoughts. Yeah, it's tough. I think we all get negative thoughts.
- [13:48]
Yarik Tala
We do. And look at. I'm getting goosebumps. This what happened is the negative tasks, like how quickly they build the little negative thought. It goes to next one and next one. And suddenly in the bubbles, like, holy. How did I end up here?
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Host
Right?
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Yarik Tala
You know, it's like 40 minutes later I'm just hating the whole world. Like, you know, so I have to go back to the gratitude and being grateful and I meditate, pray, and it's like, you know, just reset myself.
- [14:10]
Host
I love that.
- [14:11]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. But now I cutting myself a lot quicker. But it takes like really. It took years and years to. To. To do that. Yeah, that it didn't come overnight, you know, like on the beginning, like, I did not even know what. What the feeling is. You know, I could not even describe it. The only feelings I knew is like happy, not happy or angry. But that's why I could, you know, I got triggered like immediately, you know, so it's like, holy.
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Host
You couldn't control your anger.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah, because, you know, it's like you're carrying. Well, why nobody understand this? Like, you know, I mean.
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Host
Yeah, because you got all that emotion you're storing in your body. You got to let it out.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah.
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Host
So you would let it out through anger.
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Yarik Tala
Exactly. And you know, when I hit the depression, the last one, I was like, you know, I cannot like, I. I like Lily, for three, four weeks, I could not get out of the bed. Damn. Like. Like I get and me like me, I could not get out of the bed. Like, you know, you know, my queen just literally like. Like when she opened the blinds, I'm like, I'm gonna close the freaking blinds. It's like, you know, and she's like, I'm done. Like you, you getting out of the bed? I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm like, you are. And like, no, I'm not. And she just keep pulling me. And I went outside and I was like, look at. You know, I have this like a huge skylights on. On in my house. And I'm like, look at the clouds. It's like, what the hell are you doing? But I believe me my own thoughts. First. First I was sick like a day, two days. Then the. The two days become a week. And I was like, oh, you did not work out in a week. You did not answer any phone calls. You did not make any progress. You did not read. You did not like. And then the new pain be kind of more painful. And then I just, just the, the new pain become the fuel. I forgot about all the other stuff that I was depressed about, the new pain. And I have to completely bury myself and start, you know, from the new, you know, from the new yard. Like, you know, like, I was embarrassed. Like, I walk 100 yards, dude. I swim three miles a day. I bike 100 miles a day. Like, I walk 150 yards, like, to the stops. Stop sign to. From my house because I live on the end of the go fly. And I was like, that was nice. But I cannot tell anybody. Hey, I walked today 150 yards. You, you, you run 20 miles. Like, what are you talking about? You. And I was excited because I could not go back to the old yacht that is doing the same thing because, you know, I dropped, you know, for so many months. I dropped it. So you can, you know, so. But this time I said, like, when I'm gonna redesign this all the attic, restructure this old attic, I want to do it my way and, and ask for all the help that I can possibly can.
- [16:46]
Host
That's. That's important. A lot of men feel shame or guilt when they have anxiety or depression and they're scared to talk about it, you know, so that's powerful that you shared that.
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Yarik Tala
I was hiding, man. Like, I was hiding for so many years. And if, if the last thing didn't happen, I would probably wouldn't be here.
- [17:02]
Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
I wouldn't be here, you know? You know, I become a part of the brotherhood, the tribe when I really hit the suicidal thoughts. I mean, I was so lazy in bed. Can you imagine being so lazy? I have my boat outside the house with all the scuba dive tanks. And I was so lazy because now I have to call my captain. I cannot drive the boat because then if I, if I go and, you know, go and to the, to the water with the scuba dive tank, like, you know, go 100 yards is the easiest death. I'm like, what's gonna happen with the boat? So I cannot call him. I'm not gonna commit suicide in front of my captain that I know him for 12 years, you know, I mean, so I have to do it. I was so lazy to walk. Thank God. I was so lazy because that's what we're here, you know what I mean? And that was hard.
- [17:46]
Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
You know, or then driving to my title company, they're on 20th floor. So jumped off the building. I'm like, no, maybe I'm not gonna jump because what if I change my mind in the middle? You Know what I mean?
- [17:57]
Host
Thanks. You really had these thoughts.
- [17:58]
Yarik Tala
Oh, it was bad. Like, it was done. Like, I was like. And it's like, Yarik, you, You really. When you. When you put your mind to it, you do it. And that scared me even more.
- [18:08]
Host
Wow.
- [18:09]
Yarik Tala
And Raul was like, we have these phone calls every single day. Just think of your kids, think of your kids, think of your kids. And that completely get me out of it. But it was like a day by day, and it was like. People say there was like, any jumps. No, it was the longest process, I feel, though.
- [18:24]
Host
Yeah. I saw you say on another podcast, kids are here to teach us lessons.
- [18:27]
Yarik Tala
Yes.
- [18:28]
Host
Yeah, I believe that too.
- [18:29]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. Because what happened is like, do you have any kids?
- [18:32]
Host
I want kids. We just got engaged. We're getting married next year. And I want at least two, three kids, so.
- [18:38]
Yarik Tala
Nice. So I got five.
- [18:40]
Host
Nice.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah. So believe me, all the pain and all the stuff that, you know, you see it, you know, in you. So our kids are really like. Like, my kids are best lessons for me because they taught me everything, you know, I struggle with. You know, it's like they are the mirrors. Like, when you see what. And the kids always give you the feelings. They don't know how to tell you how they feel. They act up. Everyone is like, dad, please feel this. Like, I. I don't like this stuff. And, you know, and then when you start feeling and you're just understanding, you're like the triggers out of me because that's. I still not resolved the inside me there is still my issue, but yet, you know, I did not ever realize it.
- [19:24]
Host
So, you know, I look forward to it, man. Yeah, I didn't want them for a while, but my opinion has changed on kids.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah. You know, I'm telling you, after 1, 2, it's like 3, 4, 5, there's no difference.
- [19:36]
Host
There's like, you know, Elon Musk has 11 now, I think.
- [19:39]
Yarik Tala
Yes.
- [19:40]
Host
That's a lot, man.
- [19:41]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [19:41]
Host
You want more?
- [19:41]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. You know what? No. You know, I can tell you, my oldest one, I love my. Like, I love my kids. And my. My. My daughter, she taught me good lessons, very painful lessons. And I. I gotta tell you, without those lessons, I need those lessons because even I always got out of it without kind of cheating and finding the ways out. You know what I mean? And my oldest ones, they really taught me the lessons. It's like, you know, because I was never present. I was always like that. It's like, why you guys complain? You guys have everything you can imagine. Like, you Know the only thing they wanted, they want to spend time with me.
- [20:16]
Host
Yeah.
- [20:17]
Yarik Tala
And I never like, you know, I just, I just did 100 miles on the bike. I'm tired. I have this important phone call. There's something going on in my business. They said, like I always figure out something. I never want to be present.
- [20:27]
Host
Yeah.
- [20:28]
Yarik Tala
And they all, they, they want to just spend time with me, you know, because they like that love me is like, give me your time. But I give time to everybody else, not to my kids. But most important, I always forget about myself, you know.
- [20:42]
Host
You put yourself last.
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Yarik Tala
Yeah, I put myself last.
- [20:44]
Host
Wow.
- [20:44]
Yarik Tala
And then the bucket here got emptier, emptier. And that's where the pain came. And then, you know, and then on the unconscious mind, conscious mind, they were going both directions. I always tell people the devil lives right here. And God and love lives right over here. And the light. And it's funny, all my financial decisions, all my relationships, the decisions, any good decisions in my life, I made it from here.
- [21:06]
Host
Wow.
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Yarik Tala
All the decisions. And then this is always screw up everything, really.
- [21:11]
Host
Your brain.
- [21:11]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. Because we make decision. Everything we make. All decisions we make in my mind is based on the experience. You know, we perceive our reality the way we see it. And sometimes we have to step out of the ourselves and just give ourselves the opinion and give ourselves different perspective.
- [21:27]
Host
Interesting.
- [21:28]
Yarik Tala
But with the, you know, and, and in the, in the hat, we, we, we always manipulate everything. What is like, you know, we can manipulate it in the heart. It's like, no, that's what I want to do.
- [21:39]
Host
That's true. It's easy to lie yourself, you know, you can justify it.
- [21:42]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. People said the gut feeling is the thing. It is gut feeling. It's like, you know, it's right here. You feel it.
- [21:47]
Host
Yeah, yeah.
- [21:47]
Yarik Tala
And the best of the best of the deals, you know, I mean, and the best deals that I didn't do it. I took myself out of it in my head, start over analyzing, you know. Well, now you're older, you got to over. I want this. That's it. I'm like a little kid, three year old kid. I want this. I want this. You know, 100 units now. And then it's like, no, that's, that's. We have to do this, this and it's, you know, I mean.
- [22:09]
Host
Yeah, because your brain sees the numbers, right. And it looks good. But then the business partner, your gut's telling you not to work with that person.
- [22:15]
Yarik Tala
Exactly.
- [22:15]
Host
And then it ends up going bad.
- [22:17]
Yarik Tala
Exactly.
- [22:17]
Host
Yeah. Your gut's never Wrong man.
- [22:19]
Yarik Tala
Nope.
- [22:19]
Host
Crazy.
- [22:20]
Yarik Tala
Nope.
- [22:20]
Host
It must be some, like, energy field or something that your gut can sense, you know?
- [22:25]
Yarik Tala
You know, all the inner work I do right now is I've done ayahuasca. My friend told me. Right. I know you for, like, 20 years. I know you don't believe in any shortcuts. You know, like, people around you, they know, like, you freaking work hard, and there's no shortcuts or anything. It's like. But there's a shortcut. I'm like, dude, don't say these words. I'm in so much pain, dude. There is a shortcut. So. So I went to the ayahuasca experience. I got out of it. I'm like, holy. You know, first of my. Like, you know, like, really my soul, my, you know, unconscious mind, conscious mind. The first. They went to war. Like, they went to war, like, constantly. And then, like, you know, after a few hours, they start loving each other and they start guiding her. This direction we go in, this direction we're going. And that's when the peace came. But I'm not gonna be on the medicine all the time. Right. So it's like, you know, that's. That's where the work, the reading and surrounding with the right people and the inner works started.
- [23:19]
Host
So it's a good experience.
- [23:20]
Yarik Tala
It was definitely good experience.
- [23:21]
Host
Nice. I've been considering taking it.
- [23:24]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [23:24]
Host
So you'd recommend it?
- [23:25]
Yarik Tala
I would highly recommend it.
- [23:26]
Host
Okay. You got to go to, like, Brazil or something, right? Peru.
- [23:29]
Yarik Tala
Well, there is, like, I. I did. I did in Orlando.
- [23:34]
Host
Orlando.
- [23:34]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. Those are, you know, guys from Peru and from Costa Rica. And what I like, it's a. It's a. It's a husband and wife. So you have the masculine and feminine energy.
- [23:46]
Host
Yeah.
- [23:46]
Yarik Tala
So you kind of, like, connected with the nature and everything else, and I would highly recommend it. It definitely helped me.
- [23:53]
Host
So did you leave your body?
- [23:55]
Yarik Tala
Yes. Seven times.
- [23:57]
Host
Oh, my gosh. You took it seven times?
- [23:59]
Yarik Tala
Seven times.
- [24:00]
Host
Holy crap.
- [24:01]
Yarik Tala
It was a few. Few hours. The first few hours was wearing this.
- [24:04]
Host
Wow.
- [24:04]
Yarik Tala
I purged a lot. It was. It was. The pain was unbelievable. But what happened is it was. Keep telling me you have to bury the old addict. Like, he is. He's not serving you. He's like, you know, I mean, and. And it's funny that then when you go to the conscious mind and then you got out of the medicine and the life starts. You like, I like that. I don't like that. And then, you know, at least you have something that can rely in the. In the Back of your head, you know.
- [24:32]
Host
That's cool, man. Did you see aliens?
- [24:35]
Yarik Tala
No. Okay. No, I really see myself. I. I saw all the pain I went through. Like a child who, like, I. I wasn't even aware of all the stuff that happened to.
- [24:44]
Host
Wow.
- [24:44]
Yarik Tala
I was like, I. You know, because we remember the story we tell ourselves.
- [24:47]
Host
Yeah.
- [24:48]
Yarik Tala
You know, but suddenly all the experience, I was like, oh, my God. I never even remember that. This. This like a lot of past pain I remember from like when I was two years old, three years old.
- [24:59]
Host
Wow.
- [24:59]
Yarik Tala
Like, the. The last memory I always have is, was like when I was 7 and during the medicine, it was truly like I was 2, 3 years old.
- [25:07]
Host
Damn.
- [25:07]
Yarik Tala
You know, like, I. If like even a year, like, it really went down.
- [25:14]
Host
Yeah. I don't remember anything before, like six, seven.
- [25:16]
Yarik Tala
Yeah, that's. Yeah. So.
- [25:18]
Host
But there's some trauma because you're. You're still registering that emotional trauma, right. When you're that little, so you don't even know that you have it.
- [25:24]
Yarik Tala
We carry a lot of wounds, man.
- [25:26]
Host
Yeah.
- [25:26]
Yarik Tala
And it's like, you know, when you start doing the inner work and it's funny when. When you share what you do and like, you know, when you share stuff, you learn a lot about yourself. When you listen to the other people, you're like, oh, my God, I never even think of that.
- [25:42]
Host
Yeah.
- [25:42]
Yarik Tala
I give myself, like, I really, like, I surround myself with a lot of people and I try to get out of my head, you know, I mean, because. And. And to give myself perspective from, you know, other people.
- [25:54]
Host
Yeah. This podcast has been amazing for my self development, honestly, you know, because I never used to talk to people about my problems. Like, I was pretty anti therapy. I didn't believe in it. But I think talking is important.
- [26:06]
Yarik Tala
Yep.
- [26:07]
Host
Yeah. Because as guys, you want to keep that bottled in, you know? No, it's looked at as weak.
- [26:11]
Yarik Tala
Exactly. You weak. You soft. You know, like, it's like, what are you talking about? Like, you. You're a man. You see, you know that I never cried.
- [26:20]
Host
Really?
- [26:21]
Yarik Tala
Never ever?
- [26:22]
Host
Not one time.
- [26:23]
Yarik Tala
Listen, never ever. I did not cry. This was a point of weakness. When I met. When I met Raul and he went through the process, I start crying eight times a day.
- [26:36]
Host
Damn.
- [26:37]
Yarik Tala
I'm like. And you know the story that men crying is weak? Nope. It just releases the emotions that you don't carry, you know, Otherwise. So me by kind of releasing my tears, what it does, it's better to release the tears than lose my temper on somebody else who doesn't deserve it. Because if people do something, if they don't do it, that the stuff doesn't trigger because of them. The stuff triggers you inside that it's a trauma or wound that you didn't resolve it, but you see in other people, you know, I mean, yeah, so yeah, that's important. He doesn't work hard enough. This is like because I cheat. I, you know, I find the ways. It's like, you know, you know, and it's like you see the stuff like, you know, absolutely. Expectations.
- [27:22]
Host
Did you interview Patrick Bat David?
- [27:25]
Yarik Tala
No, he's my neighbor.
- [27:26]
Host
Oh, he's your neighbor.
- [27:27]
Yarik Tala
Okay.
- [27:27]
Host
I saw a video, I think on your YouTube with them.
- [27:30]
Yarik Tala
We are neighbors.
- [27:31]
Host
Got it.
- [27:32]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. We live. He moved in to my island, I think three years ago.
- [27:37]
Host
You got a twenty million dollar house, right?
- [27:39]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [27:39]
Host
Something crazy.
- [27:40]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [27:40]
Host
Wow. That's a good neighbor to have.
- [27:43]
Yarik Tala
I, I surround myself with good people.
- [27:45]
Host
Yeah.
- [27:46]
Yarik Tala
Yeah. You know, I have Leo Messi parking. You're knocking on my door, yada. Can I, can I park my cars over here? So I, Wow. Yeah, I put Leo Messi in our island, you know, put deal together. So the guy, he was going to buy my house and then because I have a, I have a master bedroom on the main floor and he got three boys and on the, you know, on the, and all the master bedroom, the bedroom, the kids bedroom was on the second floor. You know, they didn't want to buy a house. So we showed my friend house and my friend was like, well, I sell it if you buy my house. So we put all the deals together.
- [28:17]
Host
That's smart.
- [28:18]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [28:18]
Host
Wait, so you sold your house?
- [28:19]
Yarik Tala
Yes.
- [28:20]
Host
Oh, so you're not neighbors with Patrick anymore?
- [28:22]
Yarik Tala
No, I have four houses over there, you know, on this island and I live like a two blocks.
- [28:26]
Host
Oh, wow.
- [28:27]
Yarik Tala
So we still neighbors.
- [28:28]
Host
Dang.
- [28:28]
Yarik Tala
Not, not like, you know, like.
- [28:30]
Host
Yeah, yeah.
- [28:30]
Yarik Tala
Now I'm building a house two houses down from him.
- [28:33]
Host
Nice. So four houses there. So you really like that area?
- [28:36]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [28:37]
Host
You saw a lot of potential in it.
- [28:38]
Yarik Tala
This is my business.
- [28:39]
Host
Yeah. Real estate. That's how you made all your money, right?
- [28:42]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [28:42]
Host
How'd you get into that? Was it from Grant Cardone or someone?
- [28:45]
Yarik Tala
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I, I, you know what it's again, it's a story talking to people. Okay. This was like I have a one, one conversation. It was 90, 95. I was the last year of college and I live upstate New York and it was one conversation at that time was my girlfriend family. And, and they said they live in the fullplex. They rent Three of them, and they, and they live in one. And I'm like, what? And I, you know, we got home, there was the one conversation. We got home and I told my girlfriend that time, hey, we're getting married. We tell everybody, no gifts, just money. And we're gonna use the money and I'm gonna sell everything we have, you know, because I was, I was buying and selling house, you know, I mean, cars. Yeah. On a, like, you know, on it. Because I was like a waiter. I was then working restaurants and selling cars. So I'm gonna sell all the cars and everything else. I'm gonna buy a fourplex. I have no idea. I thought the only thing I'm gonna buy, I'm gonna buy a fourplex, live in one of the units, and that three people gonna pay for my rent, for my mortgage, and I'm done.
- [29:54]
Host
Yeah.
- [29:55]
Yarik Tala
And then the four places become second fourplex, then the third fourplex, then the fourplexes become 12 units, 17 units, then 50 units and 100 units. It's 100 and,000, 2000.
- [30:07]
Host
Jeez.
- [30:07]
Yarik Tala
And then the game just never stopped.
- [30:09]
Host
Wow. What about the 08 crash? Did that affect you?
- [30:12]
Yarik Tala
Well, I always tell people that I. That I win lottery in 2008.
- [30:16]
Host
Yeah.
- [30:16]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [30:17]
Host
How'd you stay clear of that? Because a lot of people got wrecked.
- [30:20]
Yarik Tala
Well, he would happen is when I bought all the stuff in real Estate in 2001, 2002. And I have, I don't know, gut feeling again. I was, you know, it's like everybody's. It's too late, it's too late. I was in Denver, Colorado. It's too late, it's too late. So I started doing foreclosures. So I prepared for the crush. I did not time it right, of course, because by 2006, like, you know, I was having all the start raising money for everybody and the crash wasn't happening. And then when 2000, 8000. When 2008 crash happened, I started buying everything like, you know, for like a.
- [30:55]
Host
10 centimeter on a dollar, 10 cents on the dollar.
- [30:58]
Yarik Tala
So I did not even sell any of my properties. But suddenly when I bought my properties, like my fourplexes, for example, at 60, $70,000 a door, suddenly I was buying 100 units at 10,000, $17,000 a door.
- [31:10]
Host
Wow.
- [31:11]
Yarik Tala
So I knew, I knew I cannot be wrong. Like, I knew I can be wrong. And then, you know, after that, after the crash, you know, I did so good because then the market went up. So I bought everything I can put our hands on, and I retired again in 2010.
- [31:25]
Host
Oh, so you're retired.
- [31:26]
Yarik Tala
Well, I retire many times, man, but I retired so many times. And it's like. And that's what the mental bottle started. Because, you know, instead of like. Because we, as a man, we do. We do need a purpose, right. Without purpose, we're dying. The money. You can get the money that. The money doesn't give you any happiness. If you don't have a purpose, you're done.
- [31:45]
Host
Facts.
- [31:46]
Yarik Tala
So, you know, I mean, so then what happened is I want to have more kids. You know, it's like, when you quit smoking, you're gonna start drinking. When you quit drinking, you're gonna start smoking or start eating more. You know, we substitute our addictions and, you know, we like people that are like, successful people. They're addicts. Like, any successful person I know, there is an addict, and I'm addict. But now we can use it in a good direction or bad direction, you know, and so then, you know, I have two more kids because I missed it, you know, because in my. My oldest ones, you know, they grew up always working. Like, I work 20, 22 hours.
- [32:20]
Host
Damn.
- [32:21]
Yarik Tala
Like, I was falling on the. On a. On a. On a desk. And then, you know, going back to work, and then sudden, I have all the time in the world. So let's have more kids. And then that. That. That took two years. Okay. I'm bored. Okay, let's start doing Ironmans. Okay. So now training. So then I came and start training, like, over training, you know, one Ironman second. Then start winning competition, Start winning everything. And then ski accident happen. And it's so. It's. It's. It would just substitute for. For another addiction.
- [32:51]
Host
Yeah. I don't think I'll ever retire, man.
- [32:53]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [32:53]
Host
Even If I have 100 million, a billion, I don't think I'll retire.
- [32:57]
Yarik Tala
You will not.
- [32:58]
Host
I love working. No, like, doing this is so fun. I feel so fulfilled.
- [33:01]
Yarik Tala
I'm getting. Yeah, that's like. You see, that's what I. Because you find your purpose in fulfillment.
- [33:06]
Host
Yeah.
- [33:06]
Yarik Tala
And I'm telling you, when you find a purpose is like. And it's funny, like, when I was going through my journey, and then people's like, wow, Find something what you love. Find something what you love. And I was the first douchebag, like, shut the up. It's like, dude, you gotta make money. What are you talking about? Like, you know, find something you love. And I realized that you can make money and you'll be miserable. And like, at 20, like, my journey, like, literally 20 years, like, I was always miserable, you know, because it's like, it's. At one point, it's like, okay, you got 10 million, then you got 100 million, then you have 200 million. It. It just doesn't. It doesn't fulfill you anymore. You know, you need to have something that, you know, they have that infinity game, so never stops.
- [33:49]
Host
Absolutely.
- [33:50]
Yarik Tala
You know, and you definitely found the right thing.
- [33:52]
Host
I found it.
- [33:53]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [33:53]
Host
This. This platform being. Being able to share messages like yours and seeing the comments and the messages I get daily now, saving people's lives. There's been a couple suicides we've stopped that I know of. It's powerful, man. I feel really fulfilled.
- [34:05]
Yarik Tala
You touch the subject. Sorry, I'm getting this one. When you get to the level of suicide, you really. Your mind, you disconnect. You literally hear the voices that were never in your head, and you're like, where is this coming from? And you become so delusional that you really. Your reality is the voice. And the problem is that the voice that we created and. And it's hard to get out if you, like, like the first thing, if anybody think of suicide or. Or any even start. Start having. Even have those thoughts. And I'm not saying go to freaking therapist, Talk to somebody, talk to your friends, talk to. Talk to somebody. Just don't hide it. It's like when you just get this stuff out, it's. It's. That's where the. The. The first step starts.
- [34:58]
Host
Right?
- [34:59]
Yarik Tala
And. But, like, like, I was like, I didn't want to even tell what I'm going through because that would be his week. But. But my voice, the. The longer I waited, the voice got so loud and so clear that I was scared of the voice.
- [35:20]
Host
Wow.
- [35:20]
Yarik Tala
And I know it wasn't mine. Like, I know I was so delusional that I believe in the. I'm telling myself, like I was. The sudden. You believe the story you're telling yourself. And if I'm on the top of the mountains and I have those issues, what about if people that have real problems? Because I have no problem at all. When. When 2022 happened, I just got out of toxic, toxic relationship, toxic divorce. I. You know, I made so much money during COVID I mean, I, like, it's sick because, you know, when. When Covet happened, like, all the real estate just, boom, right?
- [35:58]
Host
Yeah.
- [35:58]
Yarik Tala
I find a queen of my life. I have a good relationship with my kids. I mean, I have everything, but yet I'm empty inside. And the voices, I just believe those voices. And I truly. I believe in the voices. And I couldn't believe it. How delusional I was.
- [36:12]
Host
Wow.
- [36:13]
Yarik Tala
And until I started, like, hey, I think I have a problem. You know, I don't drink. I don't do drugs. Like, I. Like, there's something like, you know, I mean, and I think. And. And somebody. Some people laugh. It's like, dude, you don't have a problem. I'm like, don't tell me I do have a problem. But thank God I already have the tools. I have the coaches. I have everybody, you know, I mean, so they. At least they took it serious, right? And they just walked me through that.
- [36:38]
Host
Brotherhood.
- [36:39]
Yarik Tala
Yeah, the brotherhood.
- [36:40]
Host
That's powerful.
- [36:40]
Yarik Tala
Because if we're not part of the. You know, when you in the. Like in the. In the tribe, because we got to be part of something, you know, like, even. And, you know, I'm talking about men because, you know, we are men and I'm men, so I don't know how women think. But if you. If you kind of feel that you part of something and, you know, you're in the tribe or brotherhood that, you know that you can be vulnerable and nobody's going to judge you, it's got easier, you know, I mean, and then, you know, when you're not alone, because. Sounded like, you know, like, I love my. My, My, My, my queen, but there's some stuff you cannot tell.
- [37:16]
Host
Yeah. Yeah.
- [37:16]
Yarik Tala
You know, I mean, there's some stuff that we gotta, you know, and when you have somebody that you can really, like, vent and, you know, the venting, you're not gonna be criticized for it or you're not gonna be judged for it. And then it's like, hey, why do we. How do we resolve this? And then we just move on. And it's. And. And suddenly even somebody talk. Talk about his problem. Like, you said, like, you. You create this platform.
- [37:38]
Host
Right.
- [37:38]
Yarik Tala
But in the brotherhood. And he's like, is he with me? He's talking about me. This is what I'm like, this is my voice. Like, what is. You know, and then you get the lessons. You know how they deal with this stuff. And then, you know, we develop.
- [37:49]
Host
Agreed.
- [37:50]
Yarik Tala
But we got to be part of the group. We cannot. You. You cannot do anything alone.
- [37:54]
Host
Yeah.
- [37:54]
Yarik Tala
Without relationships, like, you know, I mean, without even, like, relationship with Sam. 14 years, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here.
- [38:02]
Host
Yeah.
- [38:02]
Yarik Tala
And, you know, it's funny. Like, we talk, we cry, we just. We just. We just do everything. It's like, hey, you know, I love that.
- [38:09]
Host
Yeah. Brotherhood's changed my life too.
- [38:11]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [38:11]
Host
I joined one when I was 21 and they, these guys took me under their wing and it changed everything for me. It's important to be around guys like that.
- [38:18]
Yarik Tala
Okay, tell me about your brother.
- [38:20]
Host
It's a mastermind. Dan Fleishman's mastermind. 100 million mastermind. And I was the brokest one there. I was the. But I was also the youngest. So they liked that young energy, you know, so they took me under their wing and now I'm best friends with some of those guys six years later.
- [38:35]
Yarik Tala
Yeah.
- [38:35]
Host
Yeah.
- [38:36]
Yarik Tala
I always tell you surround yourself with the five alcoholics, you, you become the sixth one. You, you surround yourself with the five cyclists, you're going to be the sixth one. You, you Surround yourself with the like five visionaries, you're going to be the 6th one. You, you, you surround yourself with the five millionaires, you're going to be the Sixth one. And it's like you really, it's like finding and being a part of it and getting the advices. You know, sometimes I get advice just. I didn't even ask for it. And it's like, oh, thank you. I gotta go, brother. What did I say? You did something.
- [39:10]
Host
Bye.
- [39:10]
Yarik Tala
Bye. Bye. And it's like, you know, like right away, text my office or it's like, hey, you know, that's what I thought.
- [39:15]
Host
You take action. Yeah. That's why you're successful, man. Yara, it's been cool. Anything you want to. I know you got a book, anything else you want to promote or close off with?
- [39:22]
Yarik Tala
No, just my book and just, you know, just bring the awareness to emotional fitness and the mantle because we all go through the struggle and just share the message and just, just open up and just, just, just, you know, and I know that we scared lots of men. We scared, but it feels good.
- [39:38]
Host
Yeah. Powerful. We'll link your Instagram below and your book. Thanks for coming on, man. Yeah, thanks for watching, guys. As always. I will see you tomorrow.
- [39:51]
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