Digital Social Hour - Episode #1204: Self-Sabotage, Nervous System Hacks & The Real Work of Growth with Rachel Gibler

Release Date: February 26, 2025

Introduction

In episode #1204 of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly engages in a profound conversation with Rachel Gibler, a renowned somatic therapist and inner child healing expert. This episode delves deep into the intricacies of self-sabotage, the pivotal role of the nervous system in personal growth, and the authentic path to meaningful healing. Skipping the initial advertisements, the discussion begins at [01:00], focusing directly on the core topics.

Rachel Gibler's Personal Healing Journey

Rachel opens up about her transformative journey over the past few years, highlighting how deep healing has revolutionized both her personal life and professional endeavors.

• Finding the Root of Healing:
  "[01:00] I've gotten to the core and the root of what actually heals and not just get the things you want on your vision board..."
  Rachel emphasizes the importance of addressing foundational healing rather than solely focusing on manifesting desires.

• Saturn Return and Its Impact:
  "[01:52] ...I'm just getting out of my Saturn return. So if any of your listeners know about that, that is when your life blows up."
  She references her Saturn return—a period of significant personal upheaval and transformation.

• Initial Skepticism and Awakening:
  Rachel candidly shares her skepticism towards spiritual practices in her youth, which shifted dramatically after personal tragedies and near-death experiences.
  "[02:45] ...I grew up as someone who was not into this work at all. I was a huge skeptic."
  "[03:40] ...I shattered my leg. But it basically started where I was."
  These experiences propelled her into a deep healing journey, prompting her to seek and eventually embrace spiritual and somatic modalities.

Understanding Self-Sabotage and the Nervous System

A central theme of the conversation revolves around self-sabotage and the underlying role of the nervous system in perpetuating these behaviors.

• Beyond Vision Boards:
  "[07:08] ...the state of our body and the state of our nervous system is the thing that's actually driving us and driving our patterns and driving anything that's self sabotaging."
  Rachel critiques the common reliance on vision boards and mindset shifts, arguing that without addressing bodily states, true healing remains elusive.

• Somatic Work as a Solution:
  "[06:17] ...getting into nervous system and somatic work and inner child healing and healing from the inside out."
  She advocates for somatic therapy—a method that integrates body and mind to process and heal deep-seated emotional wounds.

• Personal Reflections on Burnout:
  "[05:05] ...I was never actually good enough. It was ... I was constantly chasing a place that I could never even actually get to until I started to learn."
  Rachel reflects on her own experiences with burnout despite achieving her goals, attributing it to a dysregulated nervous system state rooted in feelings of inadequacy.

Healing Techniques: Breath, Movement, and Sound

Rachel elaborates on the specific techniques that have been instrumental in her healing process.

• Breath Work:
  "[08:57] Podcast Host: But breath work has helped me with that."
  "[09:09] Rachel Gibler: And that's what I teach is breath, movement, and sound..."
  Emphasizing the power of breath work, Rachel explains how conscious breathing can swiftly regulate the nervous system, often yielding immediate improvements.

• Internal Family Systems (IFS):
  "[24:00] Rachel Gibler: Internal family systems is essentially this modality that says that we all have many parts of ourselves, so we're all multiple personalities..."
  She introduces IFS, a therapeutic approach that identifies and harmonizes the various "parts" within us, addressing protective mechanisms developed during childhood trauma.

• Emotional Processing:
  "[27:27] Rachel Gibler: Emotions only last for 90 seconds. Anything beyond 90 seconds, you're in your mind, you're in a story."
  Rachel highlights the transient nature of emotions and the importance of allowing oneself to fully feel and process emotions to prevent them from being stuck in the body.

Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the interplay between masculine and feminine energies within individuals and how balancing these can lead to holistic healing.

• Masculine vs. Feminine Work:
  "[13:14] Rachel Gibler: I think it's about a balance. ... what's . What's happened a lot in our industry is there's so much talk about polarity."
  Rachel argues for an inner union—integrating healthy masculine traits like discipline and structure with feminine qualities like creativity and love.

• Soft Girl Era Concept:
  "[16:47] Podcast Host: Talk to me about the soft girl era. What's that about?"
  "[16:49] Rachel Gibler: ...I'm learning how to surrender, I'm learning how to let men lead..."
  She introduces the idea of the "soft girl era," where individuals embrace their feminine side without relinquishing power, fostering a balanced and magnetic presence.

• Challenging Cultural Extremes:
  "[22:02] Rachel Gibler: Anything in extreme,... we have to move through those emotions, but then we get to like, come back to an equilibrium..."
  Rachel critiques both hyper-masculine and hyper-feminine extremes, advocating for a balanced approach that honors both energies.

Retreats and Community Building

Rachel discusses her retreats, designed to provide a safe and transformative space for women to engage in deep healing.

• Purpose of Retreats:
  "[42:24] Rachel Gibler: ...they are women only retreats... to create safety for the women."
  Her retreats focus on somatic work, feminine embodiment, and deep ceremonies, fostering a sisterhood among participants.

• Benefits of In-Person Work:
  "[42:53] Rachel Gibler: ...when you take yourself out of your environment and you are in a safe container that allows you to go really deep within yourself..."
  Rachel emphasizes the profound transformations that occur when individuals immerse themselves in a supportive, in-person setting.

• Creating Lasting Connections:
  "[43:06] Rachel Gibler: ...the retreat is all rooted in feminine embodiment work, somatic work... Progressive friendships and a lasting sisterhood form during these retreats."
  Participants often leave with enduring relationships and a renewed sense of self.

Overcoming Fears and Personal Growth

The conversation shifts to personal anecdotes about conquering fears and the impact of self-development on everyday life.

• Facing Personal Fears:
  "[46:55] Podcast Host: ...the first one was heights. So I cliff jumped in Jamaica. ... now I could fly and I'm good."
  Both Rachel and Sean share their experiences of overcoming significant fears, illustrating the practical applications of their healing work.

• Ego Deaths and Spiritual Awakenings:
  "[34:28] Podcast Host: I've also had a few ego deaths which really helped. ... I lost like all my money and stuff."
  They discuss the concept of ego death—profound personal transformations that often result from deep spiritual or emotional upheavals.

• Handling Judgment and Criticism:
  "[47:07] Podcast Host: ...well, I went through those comments, but I have such high boundaries now."
  Rachel and Sean reflect on their experiences with judgment, emphasizing the importance of maintaining strong personal boundaries and staying true to one’s path despite external criticism.

The Interplay of Light and Darkness

Rachel explores a philosophical perspective on the coexistence of light and darkness, asserting that both are essential for growth.

• Law of Polarity:
  "[37:11] Rachel Gibler: ...the laws of the universe and there's the law of polarity... the law correspondence of these different laws that govern us..."
  She explains that for every aspect of light, there exists an equal and opposite darkness, emphasizing that both are necessary for balance and evolution.

• Serving the Light:
  "[39:36] Rachel Gibler: ...everything is actually serving the light because anything that we consider to be darkness is actually creating contrast..."
  Rachel posits that challenging experiences and perceived darkness ultimately contribute to personal and collective illumination.

• Navigating Through Adversity:
  "[41:28] Podcast Host: Right? Yeah. When you zoom out, you could see it. ... it's about feeling your emotions on a human 3D level."
  While acknowledging the harsh realities of trauma and war, Rachel clarifies that her perspective is not about minimizing suffering but understanding its role in the broader journey of healing.

Final Thoughts and Moving Forward

As the episode winds down, Rachel shares her vision for the future and offers practical advice for listeners embarking on their own healing journeys.

• Embracing Continuous Growth:
  "[29:37] Rachel Gibler: It doesn't end. Although I will say I do think there is a there to get to..."
  She reinforces the idea that self-development is an ongoing process, with each step leading to deeper understanding and liberation.

• The Power of Intuition:
  "[32:18] Podcast Host: It's insane. It's night and day. ... I can meet someone within two minutes. I know their intentions."
  Rachel highlights how reconnecting with one's intuition enhances interpersonal relationships and personal decision-making.

• Encouraging Self-Healing:
  "[36:47] Rachel Gibler: ...I realized actually I'm my own healer. ... going into full isolation."
  She advocates for self-reliance in the healing process, sharing her experiences of overcoming reliance on external modalities and embracing inner empowerment.

• Call to Action - Join the Journey:
  "[49:55] Rachel Gibler: ...you can find me. It's spiritual on Spotify, Apple, YouTube... If you love the show, please send me a message."
  Rachel invites listeners to engage further with her work through various platforms and encourages participation in her upcoming retreats for a transformative experience.

Conclusion

Episode #1204 of Digital Social Hour offers listeners an in-depth exploration of the mechanisms behind self-sabotage and the profound impact of nervous system regulation on personal growth. Rachel Gibler provides invaluable insights into somatic therapy, the balance of masculine and feminine energies, and the continuous journey of self-healing. Her candid sharing of personal experiences serves as both inspiration and a roadmap for those seeking authentic and lasting transformation.

For more insights and to connect with Rachel Gibler, visit her platforms on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and Instagram. Don’t miss her transformative retreats, with the next one scheduled in May in Costa Rica.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "[01:00] Rachel Gibler: I've gotten to the core and the root of what actually heals and not just get the things you want on your vision board..."

• "[07:08] Rachel Gibler: ...the state of our body and the state of our nervous system is the thing that's actually driving us and driving our patterns and driving anything that's self sabotaging."

• "[27:27] Rachel Gibler: Emotions only last for 90 seconds. Anything beyond 90 seconds, you're in your mind, you're in a story."

• "[39:36] Rachel Gibler: ...everything is actually serving the light because anything that we consider to be darkness is actually creating contrast..."

By providing a structured and comprehensive overview, this summary captures the essence of Rachel Gibler's insights and the dynamic exchange between her and Sean Kelly, offering valuable takeaways for both new and returning listeners.