Standard Over Feelings: The Mindset That Built Champions - Ben Newman | DSH #1594

Summary

Digital Social Hour – “Standard Over Feelings: The Mindset That Built Champions”

Guest: Ben Newman (Top Mindset Coach)
Host: Sean Kelly
Episode: #1594 (October 30, 2025)

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Episode Overview

In this high-energy episode, Sean Kelly sits down with renowned mindset coach Ben Newman. Together, they explore the mentality that separates champions from the pack: living by standards instead of emotions. Ben dives deep into lessons learned coaching elite athletes, shares transformative leadership and self-talk strategies, and unpacks universal insights applicable beyond sports—into business, relationships, and personal growth. The conversation flows authentically with vulnerability, practical tips, and motivational storytelling.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Authentic Energy & Building Small, Loyal Circles

• Energy as a Tool:
  • Ben Newman [01:07]: “Energy is probably one of the most authentic tools for engagement that people overlook and they don't realize the importance of it.”
• Staying Authentic:
  • Sean [01:53]: Describes how living authentically changed his trajectory after years of “trying to fit in and be friends with people that don’t care.”
• ‘Small Circles Create Big Damage’:
  • Ben Newman (quoting Tyron Woodley) [02:06]: “There’s probably just a very small circle of people who are going to love you, support you, and truly care about you through the ups and the downs…Small circles create big damage.”
• Athletes and Distractions:
  • Ben discusses how high-performers are flooded with attention and distractions when successful—whether from endorsements, family, or social media—which can divert focus from top performance.

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2. Overcoming Distractions & The Power of Mentality

• Key Athlete Distractions:
  • Ben [03:20]: Social media’s negativity and “the ninth cousin who all of a sudden wants to come to the Super Bowl” are cited as major drains.
  • “Distractions are going to keep you from identifying your highest level of performance.”
• Power of Belief & Self-Talk:
  • Ben [04:46]: “The way we speak to ourselves determines the action that we take.”
  • Discusses how many “minimize their own action through their self talk” due to limiting beliefs.

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3. Accountability, Trust, and Growth

• Victim Mindset:
  • Sean [06:11]: “The victim mindset was dangerous for me…it was never my fault. You can’t grow like that.”
• Ownership Enables Trust:
  • Ben [06:47]: “If somebody has an inability to take ownership, you can never have trust with that individual.”
• Work-Life Balance vs Discipline:
  • Ben [07:06]: Challenges the idea that “balance doesn’t exist,” advocating instead for intentional discipline and valuing time at home.
  • “If you’re not leaning into doing the things that take care of you, you’ll never understand what your highest level of peak performance is.”

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4. Turning Darkness into Fuel: Personal Stories & Inner Child Work

• Harnessing Early Pain:
  • Ben opens up about the loss of his mother at age 7 and subsequent verbal abuse from his father [11:26 - 12:46].
  • “There’s a fuel that I’ve been able to find in my darkness. And when an individual understands how to pull strength from their darkness, it’s amazing what they can achieve.”
• Advice to Sean:
  • Ben [13:12]: Suggests a “burn journal”—daily writing to acknowledge and harness the strength of your childhood self.
  • “I remind myself how strong that little fucking boy is and how when I tap into the strength of that little boy, anything becomes possible as I try to help other people find the best in themselves.”
• Sean Reflects:
  • [15:20]: “That inner child, people call it, right? I think we all have that.”

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5. Working with Elite Performers and Teams

• Choosing Opportunities Selectively:
  • Ben [15:31]: Now chooses which teams/events to work with after 20 years in coaching.
  • Currently mental conditioning coach for Kansas State Wildcats, Indiana Fever (WNBA), Nebraska Cornhuskers, Miami Dolphins, and 25+ NFL players.
• Lessons from the WNBA & Caitlin Clark:
  • Ben [17:48]: Praises energy and unity of the Indiana Fever, learning as much from players like Caitlin Clark as he teaches.
• Staying Neutral Amidst Criticism:
  • Ben [18:00]: “The most important thing is to stay neutral. And I think this is for any athlete, any sport, any business owner…when you’re really successful, people are going to try to attack you.”
  • Key: Respond with discipline, not emotion.

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6. Standard Over Feelings: The Championship Mindset

• Meeting Nick Saban & The Alabama Standard:
  • Ben [19:15-21:39]: Recounts his job interview with Nick Saban.
  • Quote [21:11]: “We cannot allow our feelings to dictate how we show up. We have to choose to live to the standard that’s going to cause us to continue to win even after we win.”
  • Ben credits this philosophy for his 5 years and two national championships with Alabama.
• Living by Standards, Not Passions:
  • “If you live to your feelings, you’re going to show up a certain way. If we live to our standards, we go and figure out how great we can be.”

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7. Can Confidence Be Taught? (And How Champions Build It)

• Not from Talent, But Discipline:
  • Ben (referencing Erwin McManus) [22:21]: “Confidence comes from discipline, not from talent...When your confidence comes from discipline, you start to tap into how great you can be.”
  • Cites Kobe Bryant: “He never got bored with the basics.”
• Mindset Amplifies Skill:
  • Stories about Tom Brady, Spurs, Lakers—legendary teams won not just because of talent, but due to discipline, self-mastery, and routines like meditation or daily motivational texts.
  • Ben [24:57]: “Every day he [Brady] would send messages teaching the players how to think about becoming a champion…text messages was the difference.”

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8. Leadership Lessons from the Best

• The Way You Do One Thing:
  • Ben (on Nick Saban) [27:18]: “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. Many leaders don’t realize that Sean can only lead somebody to the level of discipline in which he lives.”
• Find Your Edge in the Details:
  • Ben (on Chris Klieman) [27:43]: “Real hungry champions are never finished. They’re always going to try to find that edge, that extra that they can attack.”
• Relentless Learning:
  • Even as a top coach, Ben invests in learning: “I still have two coaches who are helping me see the things that maybe I don’t see because we all get moving too fast.” [28:09]

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9. Motivating at Scale & The Power of Intentional Touches

• Big Goals:
  • Ben’s mission has doubled: once aiming to impact 1 billion people, now 2 billion [28:32].
• Corporate Lessons from Microsoft:
  • Ben worked with a large Microsoft team, who cited his “unexpected intentional touches”—small, purposeful notes of appreciation—as the key to their world-leading leadership health score [31:15-31:46].
  • Ben [31:46]: “Sometimes as leaders, I think we have to slow down and remember it’s the little things that make the difference…reminding people you’re important, you’re appreciated, and I love the energy you bring to our team.”

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10. Looking Forward: The Process

• Upcoming Book:
  • Next book: “The Process” (currently being written, no release date yet) [32:41].
  • Will help readers “break down that process of what it is that makes them grow great.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Harnessing Pain:

  • Ben Newman [12:46]: “There’s a fuel that I’ve been able to find in my darkness. And when an individual understands how to pull strength from their darkness, it’s amazing what they can achieve.”

• On Living By Standard:

  • Ben Newman [21:11]: “We cannot allow our feelings to dictate how we show up. We have to choose to live to the standard that’s going to cause us to continue to win even after we win.”

• On Confidence:

  • Ben Newman [22:21]: “Confidence comes from discipline, not from talent. When your confidence comes from discipline, you start to tap into how great you can be.”

• On Leadership:

  • Ben Newman [27:18]: “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.”

• On Intentional Leadership Touches:

  • Ben Newman [31:46]: “Sometimes as leaders, we have to slow down and remember it’s the little things that make the difference.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Energy, Authenticity, and Inner Circles: [00:42] – [02:45]
• Self-Talk and Limiting Beliefs: [04:46] – [06:10]
• Overcoming Victim Mindset, Trust, and Accountability: [06:11] – [07:00]
• Personal Stories: Pain, Darkness, and Fuel: [11:06] – [15:06]
• Athlete Mentality, Mindset Coaching, and Staying Neutral: [15:24] – [19:07]
• Nick Saban & Standard Over Feelings: [19:15] – [22:12]
• On Teaching Confidence & Championship Habits: [22:12] – [24:52]
• Leadership Lessons: Saban, Klieman, and Microsoft: [26:50] – [32:26]

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Summary Takeaway

Ben Newman brings a rare blend of tough love, actionable wisdom, and vulnerability. Whether speaking to pro athletes or industry leaders, his message echoes: Build your life on standards—not moods. Trust, discipline, intentional touchpoints, and channeling your pain shape elite success. Listeners are left with inspiration and tactical takeaways for leading teams, nurturing relationships, and conquering personal challenges.

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Transcript

[Ben Newman]

I say, hey, what's holding you back? You know, you're a $7 billion solutions team. There's 350 to 400 people, 12 leaders that are sitting in this room. What's the toughest thing? They said, it's bandwidth. It gets really hard. Like, when we fail, we typically have to fail forward. Because technology, you can work on something, it changes fast. It's hard. There's so many people that we have to manage. I said, let me share something with you. I said, it's called unexpected intentional touches. I said, so let's say one of you has a team of 40, and you work 20 days, twice a day. Make sure that you slow down enough to tell people on your team how much you care. Tell them thank you for the hard work that they're doing. Tell them that you appreciate the little details of how they attack their opportunity.

[Sean]

All right, guys, one of the top mindset coaches in the world, been in six cities in the past seven days, speaking at events. We got Ben Newman here today. Thanks for your time, man.

[Ben Newman]

Sean, thank you.

[Podcast Host]

I'm just glad you can squeeze me in. You're setting records. Most podcasts in a day, and the way you get after it. I love it.

[Ben Newman]

It's great to be here.

[Sean]

Six today, but you're in six cities, so that's. That's a big.

[Podcast Host]

Your energy's still going.

[Ben Newman]

I like it.

[Sean]

Yeah. Well, energy is an interesting idea. Right. Because a lot of people seem to struggle with work ethic and energy, but it's never been an issue for me.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah. And energy is probably one of the most authentic tools for engagement that people overlook and they don't realize the importance of it.

[Sean]

Yeah. It's so fascinating because people are always like, how do you work so hard? But I don't feel like I'm working. I just feel like I have unlimited energy, you know?

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

I don't know if that's, like, a mental thing or.

[Ben Newman]

Well, a lot of times it comes from just how you show up. The purpose behind your work, the passion behind your work, the excitement behind your work. I. I tell even before getting here, just in our engagement, I think this is. We're going on three years making this happen, trying to get schedules to align, but your commitment, the. The readiness, the questions, the lead up to. I mean, I can tell there's an authentic energy and care, which is why you've been so successful doing this, which is just testament because I pay attention.

[Podcast Host]

To the details, which I have to in my work.

[Sean]

Thank you. Yeah. Authenticity is very important. To me, because I used to not live authentically for a majority of my life.

[Ben Newman]

So.

[Sean]

So now that I've gotten past that phase of trying to fit in and be friends with people that don't care about me, I'm authentic on myself.

[Ben Newman]

So I'll share a quote with you. A dear friend of mine, Tyron Woodley, who is the former UFC welterweight champion of the world, he says small circles create big damage. And I think we all go through that phase in life to where we think that we just have to be friends with everybody and make everybody happy. But for you to learn that and to know that, and I think that's important for all of us, is to make sure, like, you know, there's probably just a very small circle of people who are going to love you, support you, and truly care about you through the ups and the downs. Everybody wants to be a part of lots of success, but are the people really there for the right reasons? And I learned that from Tyron as he elevated and became champion. He said it was hard because everybody comes at you, but small circles create big damage.

[Sean]

Yeah, I'm sure that's a big issue with athletes that you see, right. In every sport.

[Ben Newman]

Their circle, the circle's important, and everybody wants to come at them. And I. You know, I've been blessed to do this with some of the highest performers to ever walk the face of the earth. And it is. It is not easy being those individuals, whether it be endorsements, whether it be success, whether it be everybody trying to come at them. You know, sometimes it could be family, sometimes it could be endorsements, sometimes it could be a new agent, and it's very hard. And distractions are going to keep you from identifying your highest level of performance.

[Sean]

Right. What are the big distractions? Temptations you're seeing your top athletes and people you coach, deal with?

[Ben Newman]

Well, you know, a lot of times it's. It's social media. Right. It could be the engagement of. They do something wrong in a game, and they spend way too much time.

[Podcast Host]

Paying attention to the. To the details of what some fan says that doesn't even understand what they.

[Ben Newman]

Went through to get to that point. So a lot of times you. Not that you. You want them to tune it out. I mean, they need to have their life and enjoy social media. But you have to learn to silence the distractions, eliminate the distractions, because otherwise it puts undue pressure on yourself. I think also, you know, family is something that can really tug at you if it's not controlled. Right. You know, the. The the ninth cousin who all of.

[Podcast Host]

A sudden wants to come to the super bowl with you, like, they could probably buy their own ticket.

[Ben Newman]

You know, if we're trying to prepare you to play in a Super bowl, the last thing I want you worried.

[Podcast Host]

About is your ninth cousin who thinks.

[Ben Newman]

That he should be getting a free ticket to the game. Like, we don't need you taking that phone call. Right. Doesn't mean that you don't love that ninth cousin. But somebody needs to pull away from the distractions, and it's. It's. It's incredible. And at the end of the day, these athletes are human beings, and they want to be loved, they want to be supported just like anybody else. And I always share with those athletes. If you feel that there's a not authenticity or there's not real love or not real support, is that person really in your circle?

[Sean]

I love what you do because obviously a lot of people are athletic, you know, they're physically gifted. But the mental side of sports is almost as important, right?

[Ben Newman]

Yeah. I mean, it's. I think it was Lee Trevino, the golfer, used to say that golf is 90% mental. And the other 10 is in your mind, which.

[Podcast Host]

Which means what?

[Ben Newman]

It's all. It's all completely mental. Right? And so it's just one of those things people underestimate, the power of mentality or the power of belief. And, you know, the way we speak to ourselves determines the action that we take. And that's something that a lot of people don't realize. Right? So if you. And I say, where could. Where could Sean take this platform?

[Podcast Host]

How big can this go?

[Ben Newman]

What's the impact on the world he can have? Right?

[Podcast Host]

Because you're getting millions upon millions of viewers every episode.

[Ben Newman]

Right? Like, but how big can we go? Can we go even bigger? Well, if you don't have that belief or desire to do that, where your action would be really insignificant. But when you say something and you believe in it, and I just. I feel this from you. Like, you feel like you haven't even scratched the surface of how big you can take this platform. Well, then for you, when you say that, what happens? The action goes, well, I'll do 23 episodes, which is probably a Guinness Book.

[Podcast Host]

Of World Records when we go to Arizona, right?

[Ben Newman]

Like, those. Those are things that you're willing to do that most people would never do. But because you speak belief into yourself, your action follows. Most people stand on the sidelines. They choose to allow politics, they choose to allow environment. They distractions to cause them to think. A certain way, which is not even conditioned for them to think at their highest level, but they listen to it and then what happens to their action? They minimize their own action through their self talk.

[Sean]

Right. Limiting beliefs.

[Ben Newman]

Right, Absolutely.

[Sean]

I'm still working on some of mine. It's an ongoing process.

[Ben Newman]

So am I. I've still got two.

[Podcast Host]

Coaches, and this is the work that I do.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

It's ongoing.

[Sean]

Ongoing. The victim mindset was, was, was dangerous for me, though. That held me back first.

[Ben Newman]

What was it for you that held you back?

[Sean]

It was never my fault. You know, if something bad happened, I would put the blame on someone else. And you can't grow like that.

[Ben Newman]

How old were you when you finally figured out, I can't do that anymore?

[Sean]

I would say, like, entrepreneurship helps me find it. So maybe like 22, 23, which is earlier than most, But I see people struggle with that one a lot, and that's a red flag to me. I can't work with people like that when they can't take accountability. Like, I'll be the first to admit when I mess up. And I used to not be like that. But it's, it's how you grow.

[Ben Newman]

Well, if somebody has an inability to take ownership, you can never have trust with that individual.

[Sean]

Exactly. Trust is major for me.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

In business, you need to trust your partner, man. It's like second marriage.

[Podcast Host]

People say it's very true.

[Ben Newman]

Very true.

[Sean]

I mean, you spend the same amount of time with your business partner than.

[Podcast Host]

Your wife, sometimes even more.

[Sean]

Yeah. You're on the road how many days a month?

[Ben Newman]

Well, it, you know, it's less than people actually think. You know, they see it. I, I tend to get in and out of cities pretty quick, and I spend as many nights at home as I can. But I've always said I never really count the days away. I make them count when I'm at home. And I'm a big believer. I think this is important to share because when people see a busy schedule for any of us. Right. I always encourage people to lean into actually having balance in the areas that matter most, which is really contradictory. I think there's a lot of people who online, they say balance doesn't exist and just work really hard and take time off. And it's typically a cop out in a major way because that person lacks discipline. And you and I talked about it before we hit record. You know, there were things I used to do at Alabama or reasons why I stay in shape. Like, I'm not a strength coach. I'm a mental conditioning Coach. But I stay in shape because I have to be disciplined if I'm have a conversation with somebody about discipline. So when I hear people say, oh.

[Podcast Host]

I just travel when I travel and.

[Ben Newman]

No, like when I go home, like I'm taking my kids. Well, not my son drives himself, but you know, my daughter, I'm still taking her to school. I'm picking them up from practices. I'm engaged as I possibly can be engaged with my wife, doing day dates, doing the things that we can. Because I think people live to their excuses and think they can't have love in their life and love with their kids and time with their kids and run a successful business. And once again, it goes back to the self talk. And so I encourage people. If you're not leaning into doing the things that take care of you, you, you'll never understand what your highest level of peak performance is.

[Sean]

I love that. How'd you improve your self talk game? Was that like some form of therapy or something?

[Ben Newman]

I'm still working on it.

[Podcast Host]

I have been to enough therapist. You could probably call me doctor, but.

[Ben Newman]

But for sure. I mean, it's, you know, with self talk, it's same as you, right? Limiting beliefs. And then at some point in time you wake up and you say, man, I'm sick and tired of this. If I choose to believe that I'm going to choose to act a certain way, if I choose to believe something else, that I'm going to choose to act differently. And it's like I said, what we say comes out of our mouth, goes in our ears, and that's what drives the action. So finally I got tired of the self talk. Doesn't mean that I now am perfect and I don't have self talk. But the conversations I have with myself, they don't last very long and they're met with extreme levels of discipline.

[Sean]

Nice. Yeah. I used to be very pessimistic. It was the household I grew up in. So every thought was negative. I would assume the worst whenever someone told parents. Yeah, different ways, but yeah, both were pretty negative.

[Ben Newman]

Parents married, Divorce.

[Sean]

But yeah, married until I was 10.

[Ben Newman]

Okay.

[Sean]

And then really nasty divorce.

[Ben Newman]

So that's siblings for you.

[Sean]

I grew up an only child. Only child. And it was lonely. Very lonely.

[Ben Newman]

So Jersey. And they both stayed in Jersey.

[Sean]

Both stayed. Dad disappeared for like a year when it first happened. And then I saw him on weekends, you know. Yeah. So I had to fight through that. But now when I moved out of the environment and realized how negative I was because you get so used to Your mindset, you don't even realize, like, you're being negative. You know what I mean?

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

And then I. Yeah. Found a good girl and she got me through it.

[Ben Newman]

You still with her?

[Sean]

Yeah. We're getting married in three months.

[Ben Newman]

Are you really?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Ben Newman]

Congratulations.

[Sean]

Eight years in, man.

[Ben Newman]

Amazing. I'm 19 years married in November.

[Podcast Host]

You find the right woman and makes.

[Ben Newman]

All the difference in the world.

[Sean]

See a lot of my. My friends, struggling, single friends, you know.

[Ben Newman]

I'm happy for you. That's a. That's a big deal.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Ben Newman]

Cuz it's. I always needed the right woman in my life, and I'm so blessed to have her because I lost my mom 11 days before my eighth birthday. So you. When you have that kind of extreme pain, that young, you know, you almost search almost too hard for the one. And to find Amy, the way that I have and the support she's given is. It's everything. So for you to. For you to have that is incredible. Can I share something with you about your growing up, though, that I think might help? And I don't know if you've done this, but I think it'll be powerful for the listeners as well. We do what I call boot camps. We've been doing these for years. I think my first boot camp was in 2009. There are events where people fly in, and now we've done them in Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic. We've done many of them here in Vegas. The first one had nine people.

[Podcast Host]

We made no money. I probably should have never done a.

[Ben Newman]

Second one, but we've been doing them a long time. And this last year, we did it in Puerto Rico and we had an elite day, an extra day. And it was Tim, Grover, Phil Heath, and myself. And we took everybody into a dark room. So the elite day is always only 30 people. And so those are the people who are really committed to locking in.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Ben Newman]

And we completely blacked out the room. Tim, Grover in a chair, me in a chair. Fill in a chair. Spotlight on you. And we talked about the darkness. And a lot of times, people, Sean and I'd love to actually hear this.

[Podcast Host]

From you, even though we're flipping the mic. This supposed to be you interviewing me?

[Ben Newman]

People don't realize the power that comes from their darkness. And I had to grow up so fast. Both of us did. Right as we, you know, sharing each other's stories here. I had to grow up so fast. But now I found that in the darkness of what I had to go through there, there's beauty in How I honor my mom every day, which is what I call my burn. But there's also a darkness that fuels me. The times that my dad verbally abused me and told me that I would never achieve anything and you'll never be good enough, you'll never amount to shit. When I was successful, he'd try to do things, manipulate me mentally to pull me back so that I couldn't grow. Wow, that's a hard thing when you've already lost your mom at 7 years old. Parents were divorced at 6 months old. I've now learned to harness this darkness that lies inside of me.

[Podcast Host]

And I don't really talk about it.

[Ben Newman]

Often, but there's a fuel. And when I step into that darkness, Sean, there's a place that I go to.

[Podcast Host]

People always feel the big fun loving.

[Ben Newman]

Band, like they never feel anger or nastiness from me, but there's a fuel that I've been able to find in my darkness. And when an individual understands how to pull strength from their darkness, it's amazing what they can achieve.

[Sean]

Wow, thanks for sharing that.

[Ben Newman]

So I ask you, the darkness for you being that 10 year old and probably feeling split and pulled and carrying different areas, have you ever tried to harness that side to find more power and strength?

[Sean]

There's definitely something there because I have this subconscious anger in me. So I think that's what you're referencing. I need to figure out how to channel it better.

[Ben Newman]

So can I, can I share an opportunity?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Ben Newman]

So I now write in the back of my. So I have what I call a burn journal. So our podcast is called the Burn. And we had, you know, seven years of it. And we help people stay connected to this burn, which is really that underlying fire that ignites wine purpose. And I have a burn journal that I write down the same thing every day for years. And I got stacks of these, these journals. But after I read Jamie Kern Lima, a dear friend of mine, after I read her book Worthy, and after I read another dear friend of mine, Trent Shelton, his book protect your peace, now, I write in the front of this journal and then I go to the back of the journal and in the back of the journal, every single day, I surrender and I speak to the darkness that lies inside of me and the strength of that little boy that's inside of me. And I remind myself how strong that little fucking boy is and how when I tap into the strength of that little boy that anything becomes possible as I try to help other people find the best in themselves.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Ben Newman]

So that might be powerful. For you to just speak to that little boy every day because what you've done and the manner in which you attack it and your willingness to do it and desire to do it in preparation. If we help you find a whole nother level, look out world, man, that'd.

[Sean]

Be deadly with what I'm already doing. Let's go. Turning pain.

[Podcast Host]

You'll be telling God, I need a 36 hour day to do 36 episodes in a day.

[Sean]

I feel like there's not enough hours in a day, man. I just love to work and grind and meet people.

[Ben Newman]

It's awesome.

[Sean]

Turning pain into power, though, that's powerful.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

I think when I got into entrepreneurship, a big reason was, you know, I got bullied, I had a lot of trauma and I kind of turned that pain into money for being honest.

[Ben Newman]

Start speaking to that little guy.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Ben Newman]

And you'll make plenty of money. But start speaking to that guy and just watch how the purpose, especially stepping into this relationship, getting married now one day, if you guys want to have kids, like to learn to harness this.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Ben Newman]

And to understand the strength of that little guy that's still inside you. The only way that you're doing the stuff that you're doing is that little 10 year old who's reminding you. And now right now, it's subconscious. You bring it to the conscious. I'm telling you, it's about to get nasty in a very good way.

[Sean]

Let's go. That inner child people call it, right?

[Ben Newman]

Exactly.

[Sean]

Yeah. I think we all have that.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

That's so cool, man. So you still doing a lot of mindset coaching with athletes? Are you doing mainly the. The public speaking stuff?

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Ben Newman]

So it's actually I pick and choose. You know, I've been doing this for almost 20 years and I pick and choose the events that I to speak at. And then we have a whole team of speakers. We've got a whole speakers bureau that Monique, who's I, we've worked together for 15 years, she runs our bureau. And so I show up to the events that I'm super excited to be at and that work on the calendar. But then I'm still the mental conditioning coach for the Kansas State Wildcats football team. I'm also mental conditioning coach for the Indiana Fever basketball team and then the Husker football team. The Nebraska Corn Huskers just hired me to work with their football team. And then I, I've worked with the Miami Dolphins the last eight years and about 25 NFL players that I mentor. And then, you know, the rest of the Work is all. All corporate.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Ben Newman]

Well done. So it's been. It's been fun. It's busy.

[Podcast Host]

It keeps me out of trouble.

[Sean]

Yeah, I bet. I got to ask about the Fever because they're in the headlines every day. What's. What's happened, like the wnba, you know.

[Ben Newman]

So I've worked with their head coach, Stephanie White, for the last 10 years, and I was actually with her when she was with the W with the. The fever 10 years ago. And that team with Tamika Catchings, Brianne January, who's now an amazing assistant coach, they made it to the WNB finals, then then went on to Vanderbilt and the Connecticut Sun. This is her first year back, and she gave me an opportunity to serve in this role for the team, and it's been incredible. I mean, these girls have so much energy. And I'll tell you, one of the greatest things. Going back to energy, we did like a. It was like a retreat with the coaches in. In Nashville. And they're all telling me, wait till you meet all the, like, the team. These women, the energy they bring is unbelievable. And sure enough, I walk in that first day at training camp, and it's like, you feel this energy from Natasha Howard, who's won three championships. You feel this energy from Lex Hall. You know, when Caitlin Clark comes up for the first time, you feel that special energy in her. And what happens is, especially on basketball teams and, you know, this being a Hooper, teams are smaller, right? Football teams, college teams can be a hundred. You get ten, twelve individuals that are ready to commit and fight. I find that no matter what adversity and challenge you face, they're willing to stay strong with great energy to stay together. And so that's the. That's the blessing of the work. I learned so much from them, right? So it's. I get to learn from Caitlin. I get to learn from Lexi. I get to learn from Sophie Cunningham. I get to learn from Coach White. And that's really the blessing, is that we get to feed off of each other's energy to go try to do something special together.

[Sean]

I love that. I'm so impressed with Caitlin's emotional control because she's got a lot of headlines about her. So every player in the league is challenging her, and she just doesn't seem to, like, react emotionally. It's impressive.

[Ben Newman]

Well, I think the. The most important thing is to stay neutral. And I think this is for any athlete, any sport, any business owner. You know, when you're really successful, people are going to try to attack you.

[Podcast Host]

When you're doing something that somebody wants to do, you almost become a prime target for somebody saying, hey, I want that.

[Ben Newman]

But if maybe you're not willing to work hard enough to get it, oh.

[Podcast Host]

I may attack you.

[Ben Newman]

Or if I think you've been given an edge or you get, I'm going to attack you. And so I think we see it in business and in sports, and I always encourage people. 70% of my work is still corporate.

[Podcast Host]

Even though my sports work keeps. Keeps me busy.

[Ben Newman]

70 is still corporate. So I see it all the time. It's maintaining a neutral mindset. No matter who tries to throw you off your game, we stay neutral. We attack the next possession. No matter who in business tries to throw darts at Sean.

[Podcast Host]

Oh, well, he does this because of.

[Ben Newman]

This or he has this or he has that. No, I'm going to go attack this next interview and I'm going to give everything that I have and I'm going to stay neutral. So when we win, we stay neutral. When we don't get the results we want, we stay neutral. And I think that's one of the keys for high performers is learning to keep that neutral mindset through the ups and the downs.

[Sean]

Right. They got good control over their.

[Ben Newman]

Absolutely.

[Sean]

You have to. You have to, because emotions can destroy you.

[Ben Newman]

Emotions can literally cause you to quit.

[Sean]

Yep.

[Ben Newman]

We see it all the time. It's actually so. When Coach Saban hired me at Alabama, I spent five years at Alabama, and.

[Podcast Host]

I know that you've had Coach Cochran on the show. So shout out to Coach Cochran. I love you, brother to death. I would do anything for you. And he knows that.

[Ben Newman]

Unbelievable, man. Just an amazing story.

[Podcast Host]

If anybody hadn't caught that episode, they need to go back and listen to your episode with Cochran and I. He's also been on the Burn, but. But I'll.

[Ben Newman]

I'll share with you that with Saban. I sat in his office in 2017. So, Sean, this is one of those.

[Podcast Host]

Things that's like, you're. You're with the goat, right? The goat is literally interviewing you. You're in the goat's office one on one.

[Ben Newman]

And he says to me, he says, ben, like, what are you going to talk to the team about? And I told him, I said, coach, I said, when I walked through the doors of the Malmore Football Complex right here in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, I felt the expectation, I felt the culture, I felt what you have built here.

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[Sean]

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[Ben Newman]

And I said that comes with a standard and a standard that these players have to be willing to live to. Now, I know you've already done these things. There is the standard. But I said to me, I believe, and this is what I'm going to share tonight. I'm talking to you.

[Podcast Host]

You're, you're, you're the goat.

[Ben Newman]

You're saving. I said, I'm going to share the importance of standard over feelings. We cannot allow our feelings to dictate how we show up. We have to choose to live to the standard that's going to cause us to continue to win even after we win. And I looked at him, Sean. He hadn't even hired me for the.

[Podcast Host]

Job yet, but I spoke with this level of confidence, even though it's a little intimidating, like you're in front of the goat.

[Ben Newman]

And I said, when we win, I.

[Podcast Host]

Referenced it like you're already hiring me. I said, when we win 52 to.

[Ben Newman]

Nothing on a Saturday, I said, I hope we can empower and inspire the players through the standard over feelings mentality. To want to break down film on Sunday to say, what can I do better to attack Sunday, Monday and Tuesday for that next Saturday, Saturday. And I believe that conversation and that statement kept me at Alabama for five years and two national championships. So I, I think for all of us, you know, standard over feelings once again, so much of what I teach in sports applies to everything, right? If you live to your feelings, you're going to show up a certain way. If we live to our standards, we go and figure out how great we can be.

[Sean]

I love that yeah, I've heard of facts over feelings with standards over feelings. That's. That's cool. I like that one. I'm very curious how you're going to answer this next one. So confidence, can that be taught?

[Ben Newman]

You think so? Confidence comes from discipline, not from talent. So a lot of people. I heard Irwin McManus shared this at a mastermind event that I was a part of with him in LA a couple of years ago. And he looked, he was telling a story of the Boston Celtics, and he was talking about the ups and downs and what he was watching and observing how they showed up. And he said, you know, some of these basketball teams, he's a big hoops fan. He said some of these basketball teams, they're just. They're operating off of talent. They allow their confidence to come from their talent. He said they have it wrong. Confidence must come from discipline. And he said, when your confidence comes from discipline, you start to tap into how great you can be. So can confidence be taught? I think you can develop confidence by your standards and your disciplines and how hard you're willing to work, which, you know, at some point in time, sure, you and I could have a conversation with a young athlete or a business professional who's lacking discipline, ask them some great questions to engage them. That's a form of teaching. But I think at some point in time, somebody has to say they want it bad enough to choose the discipline to build the confidence that's going to make them successful. And then if you want to be.

[Podcast Host]

A goat, right, the Kobe Bryant's, the Michael Jordans, what did they do? They were blessed with talent, and they.

[Ben Newman]

Had plenty of confidence from their talent, but their real confidence came from their discipline. I mean, Kobe used to say he never got bored with the basics. The first hour of his workouts would be doing the little things that most people were unwilling to do. Layups and form shooting and things that most people just skip and they go straight to the three point line.

[Sean]

Right.

[Ben Newman]

So when you have both the confidence, because God did give you talent, but then the confidence from extreme discipline, you go become the best in the world.

[Sean]

Facts. LeBron, M.J. brady. Yeah, actually, Brady's not even. He says he's not athletic, but you got to get to a certain point.

[Ben Newman]

I guess I'll share something with you on Brady that I think you'll find fascinating, that I don't get to share this story very often. I've worked with Levante David and this is all public knowledge. I'm not sharing anything private. But he's the captain of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers defense. And so I've worked with Levante for 12 years, and Levante is an unbelievable athlete. Like, he better go into the hall.

[Podcast Host]

Of Fame for first ballot.

[Ben Newman]

He deserves it with the consistency of his stats. When Brady came to Tampa Bay and they go and win that championship in the first year after he'd won six year one, right? And what were people saying? Like, can Brady really go and win one? So I was with the team. I was with Levante. They win that Super Bowl. Before I fly out the next morning, I call Levante on the phone.

[Podcast Host]

I said, man, I forgot to ask.

[Ben Newman]

You something last night. I said, if there was one thing that Tom Brady did when he came to this football team to help you guys win the super bowl, what was it? You ready for this?

[Sean]

I'm ready.

[Ben Newman]

He says every morning when Brady showed up to this football team, starting the first morning, he would send a text message to the entire team on what it took to become a champion mentally. And every day, he would send messages teaching the players how to think about becoming a champion.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Ben Newman]

Text messages. So all the things you saw in the field, and this goes back to, you know, when you reference that, you know, the mindset is everything. People operate off of talent. That's what you get, a great roster. Right.

[Podcast Host]

They got all the talent in the.

[Ben Newman]

World, but they can't win because they don't have this. What did Tom Brady know? We won all those championships. Yeah, we had some great talent, New England, but we knew this. Right? And the moment that you understand how to control your mind and to drive disciplined action and to believe, it's an amazing what you can accomplish. But literally, text messages is what Levante David said was the difference. That's bad for Tampa Bay. It's unbelievable.

[Sean]

Cool. Reminds me of the spurs, too, because they weren't the most athletic when they.

[Ben Newman]

Won those five titles, but Popovich taught him this, right?

[Sean]

Same with the Lakers. Phil Jackson, he taught meditation, and people would.

[Ben Newman]

Some people probably look at that and go meditating and doing all this.

[Sean]

Shock. Made fun of it at first.

[Ben Newman]

At first. And then what happened? Shaq respected it.

[Sean]

They won back to back.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

That's a legendary coach. He's. He might be one of my favorite for basketball. Phil Jackson.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Yeah. But Saban's definitely the Goat man. Is he still coaching?

[Podcast Host]

No.

[Ben Newman]

So Saban's now. You'll see him on tv.

[Podcast Host]

And yeah, he's.

[Ben Newman]

He's done. He's done coaching. And I'll tell you, I. I really feel blessed I've been able to spend the bulk of my work in college football with Coach Saban and with Coach Kleiman, and those are the two winningest college football coaches over the last 15 years. And it was like receiving a doctorate in leadership. I mean, just the way those men would attack details, the way that they approached and never finish mindset, the way that they approach an ability to always get better and to always stay hungry was extraordinary.

[Sean]

Yeah. I got to ask you about leadership, because that's something I'm working on as I'm building this podcast and company. What have you seen from the best leaders that. That are big takeaways?

[Ben Newman]

Well, you know, in addition to the book that I wrote called the Standard, I wrote a book called Uncommon Leadership that came out years ago, and it highlights 11 leaders that have impacted my life from the unique ways in which they led. So I'll give you. I'll give you two of them.

[Podcast Host]

Otherwise, we're gonna. We're gonna be on here. We're gonna set a record for your longest episode ever.

[Ben Newman]

The two things I'll share with you from Coach Saban and Coach Kleiman, because we're referencing them. The whole chapter on Coach Saban talks about how the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. Many leaders don't realize that Sean can only lead somebody to the level of discipline in which he lives. So if you're sloppy, you're undisciplined, you're unorganized, but you're asking people to be.

[Podcast Host]

Disciplined and organized, probably pretty hard for.

[Ben Newman]

Them to follow your lead. Right. So the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. And then Coach Kleiman always taught us in the title of his chapter in that book is called find your edge. In the details, Real Hungry champions are never finished. They're always going to try to find that edge, that extra that they can attack.

[Sean]

I love that. Yeah. Leadership is. It's not a natural skill to just have. It's something you got to really pay attention and learn from the best.

[Ben Newman]

And I think you have to continue to desire to do that. I'm still reading books every day, like, I share with you. Even though I get to coach some of the highest performers, I still have two coaches who are helping me see the things that maybe I don't see because we all get moving too fast. And so I. I think it's got to be that continued worker desire to lead and to figure out how great we can be if we can ever lead others.

[Sean]

Yeah. Have you accomplished Everything you want, wanted to in life, Hell no. Still got goals.

[Ben Newman]

Yeah, I'm going to 2 billion people that I want to make a difference in their lives. It used to be a billion. And then, my dear friend, the strength coach, Ted Wrath of the New Orleans Saints, we work together with the Eagles as well as the Los Angeles Rams. And I, I've got a program called Coach to Coaches where it's really. I. I don't think there's anything like it in the world. It's where we take people behind the scenes. And I actually teach not 30,000 foot view. We teach everything that I've done to build this coaching business over the last 19 years. The things we did at Alabama, the things we've done at Microsoft, the things we've done at Google, all of it. It. And he was part of that program, and I was sharing this goal to get to a billion people, which you can't do by yourself. You got to do it with others. He's like, man, that's too small. We got to go to 2 billion.

[Sean]

Let's go.

[Ben Newman]

So that's really the big goal is, you know, can you help others find their burn? Can you help others find that authentic energy? Can you help others find the right way to lead, grow and develop others to go impact 2 billion people? So I. I haven't hit the number yet.

[Sean]

So we got work to do on the way there. I love that you're able to do this in. In multiple industries, not just sports, but. But Fortune 500 companies. So you're seeing success in both.

[Ben Newman]

Oh, it keeps me hungry. It keeps me. It keeps me motivated. One of my favorite stories, I'll tell you. I'll tell you real quick. It's. It was with Microsoft, I was brought in through a booster at North Dakota State. So North Dakota State football, we won a handful of championships. And then Chris Kleiman was the head coach there. He brought me to Kansas State. Well, one of their boosters saw me at the hotel. They would put me up in on game days, and he's like, hey, man.

[Podcast Host]

You'Re that guy who runs around on.

[Ben Newman]

The sideline hyping up the players. I'm like, yeah, that's me. And he comes up, he says, I want you to come speak at my company. I'm like, what companies? At Microsoft. He says, I'm one of the biggest boosters. I fly in from Austin, but I were on a $7 billion solutions team for Austin, and we're struggling in some areas of our leadership. So let's get on the phone and talk about it. They hired me for a year. Microsoft only gives you a one year contract as a coach or consultant. He told me that up front. I go to the first retreat and I say to him, I say, hey, what's holding you back? You know, you're a $7 billion solutions team. There's 350 to 400 people, 12 leaders that are sitting in this room. What's the toughest thing? They said, it's bandw with like, it's really hard. Like when we fail, we typically have to fail forward. Because technology, you can work on something, it changes fast. It's hard. There's so many people that we have to manage. I said, let me share something with you. I said, it's called unexpected intentional touches. I said, so let's say one of you has a team of 40 and you work 20 days, twice a day. Make sure that you slow down enough to tell people on your team how much you care. Tell them thank you for the hard work that they're doing. Tell them that you appreciate the little details of how they attack their opportunity. So long story short, we get to the end of that first year, Life calls me. He says, I got good news and bad news. I said, what's the bad news? He says, you're fired. I said, I'm fired?

[Podcast Host]

He said, yeah, I told you, you.

[Ben Newman]

Only get one year.

[Podcast Host]

I said, what's the good news then? Because that's not good. I said, that is bad news.

[Ben Newman]

He said, we received the highest health score in the entire world for Microsoft. So they tracked certain KPIs for their leadership teams in order to spit out a health score. His team of 12 had the highest health score in the country. Sorry. In the world. He got elevated to an international leadership position. One of the 12 BEC elevated to running that $7 billion group. I get together for the last ever meeting. I told him, I said, I've been.

[Podcast Host]

Fired, but congratulations, the great work you did.

[Ben Newman]

I said, what Was the difference? 10 out of the 12 said unexpected intentional touches. Wow. Just from that little touch. So sometimes as leaders, I think we have to slow down and remember it's the little things that make the difference. You don't have to remember some big dissertation or speech. It's the little things of reminding people you're important, you're appreciated, and I love the energy you bring to our team. Team.

[Sean]

I'm gonna start doing that. Thank you. Yeah. I guess as the companies get bigger, they lose that personal touch, right?

[Ben Newman]

Without question. And that, that's exactly what happened. I think they got so big, they're like, well, you don't have to do. There's so many KPIs were managed. I said, you need to slow down and recognize the little things, the emotion. That's what drives all of us.

[Sean]

Right.

[Ben Newman]

Because then that connects you to the standards of do. If you feel recognized and appreciated, I'm going to attack the work. I'm going to attack the standard.

[Sean]

That's brilliant. I love that. Can't wait to implement that one.

[Ben Newman]

One.

[Sean]

Well, Ben, what's next for you, man? Any. Any books coming out? I know you just released an eighth one, right?

[Ben Newman]

So, yeah, the eighth one came out a couple years ago. The next book is actually going to be called the Process. So really, really excited about that.

[Podcast Host]

I've got my hands in so many different things with so many different teams and the work we're doing right now.

[Ben Newman]

So we have started the process of writing the book. I cannot tell you when it's going to come out, but it's going to be a book that I think will connect people. You know, it'll be like a culmination of the standard and then helping people really break down that process of what it is that makes them grow. Great.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

I love it.

[Sean]

Stay tuned, guys.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

We'll link your socials.

[Sean]

If you want to hire him, we'll link his website as well. Thanks for coming on.

[Ben Newman]

Appreciate you, brother. Thanks for having me.

[Sean]

Thanks for watching, guys. See you next time.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Please don't forget to like and subscribe.

[Sean]

It helps the show a lot with the algorithm. Thank you.