Digital Social Hour Podcast Summary
Episode: Texting Secrets: How to Turn Matches into First Dates | Benjamin Seda DSH #1297
Release Date: April 4, 2025
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Benjamin Seda
Introduction
In this compelling episode of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly engages in an insightful conversation with renowned dating coach Benjamin Seda. The discussion delves deep into the intricacies of modern dating, especially focusing on effective strategies to convert online matches into meaningful first dates. Benjamin shares his extensive experience, social experiments, and critiques of prevailing dating philosophies, offering listeners actionable advice and thought-provoking perspectives.
The Impact of COVID-19 on Dating
Benjamin opens the conversation by addressing the profound changes the COVID-19 pandemic has wrought on the dating landscape. He observes that the absence of traditional "third spaces"—places like workplaces, schools, and social venues where people typically meet—has significantly hampered natural interactions.
Benjamin:
"After Covid, it got way worse. ... It really destroyed third spaces for people."
[00:33]
He explains that many professionals, despite their success, find themselves isolated due to remote work, leading to increased reliance on dating apps without seeing substantial results.
Social Experiment: Picking Up 24 Girls in 24 Hours
One of the highlights of the episode is Benjamin's recounting of his ambitious social experiment. In early 2024, he undertook the challenge of picking up 24 girls in 24 hours in Miami, documenting the process for his YouTube channel. Despite facing physical exhaustion and logistical hurdles—logging over 50,000 steps and battling low battery levels—Benjamin successfully achieved his goal in approximately 13 hours.
Benjamin:
"I did it In, I believe, 13 hours. ... I had to get their number or their Instagram."
[07:01]
This experiment underscores the importance of persistence, strategic planning, and effective execution in the realm of dating.
Effective Strategies for Approaching Women
Benjamin emphasizes the significance of respectful and genuine interactions when approaching women, particularly in settings like gyms. He advises against abrasive methods such as catcalling, advocating instead for simple, sincere compliments or greetings that allow for an easy exit if interest isn't reciprocated.
Benjamin:
"The wrong way to approach a girl is to cat call ... It's always better to start off with something you can give a genuine compliment."
[02:22]
He further highlights the need for social calibration, ensuring that one's body language and approach are non-invasive and considerate of the setting.
Texting: The Crucial Link Between Match and Date
A substantial portion of the discussion centers on texting techniques that facilitate the transition from an online match to an actual date. Benjamin asserts that effective communication through texting is pivotal, often determining the success of securing a date.
Benjamin:
"Texting is really important because even if you have a 10 out of 10 dating profile ... the text conversation is going to determine whether or not she agrees to the date."
[12:23]
He advises against tactics like delaying responses to create artificial scarcity, instead promoting prompt and authentic replies to maintain momentum and reduce competition.
Benjamin:
"I respond to a message when I see it."
[13:48]
Critique of the Red Pill Movement
Benjamin offers a critical analysis of the red pill movement, suggesting that its focus on status and superficial attributes often detracts from building genuine emotional connections. He contrasts this with his own coaching philosophy, which prioritizes actionable and relatable advice over rigid, and sometimes counterproductive, philosophies.
Benjamin:
"I think the red pill movement has probably made guys worse off, really dating in a lot of ways."
[14:05]
He stresses that authentic relationships are founded on more than just financial success or external validations, advocating for emotional intelligence and effective communication.
Coaching Success and Client Diversity
Benjamin discusses his diverse clientele, including individuals who were once virgins or had minimal dating experience. He emphasizes that the success of his coaching hinges largely on the client's commitment and willingness to implement the strategies taught.
Benjamin:
"But at the end of the day, they need to be the right person to execute it."
[22:10]
He also highlights the importance of tailoring advice based on age and cultural contexts, ensuring relevance and effectiveness across different demographics and geographic locations.
Adapting to Different Dating Apps and Cultures
The conversation explores the varying effectiveness of different dating apps. Benjamin favors Hinge for its relationship-oriented design and better results compared to Tinder and Bumble. He also notes that cultural nuances significantly influence dating strategies, advocating for adaptability in approaches.
Benjamin:
"Hinge is the best because the prompts make ... There's less of a social stigma associated with Hinge."
[30:34]
This adaptability extends globally, where Benjamin assists clients in diverse regions, adjusting strategies to align with local cultural norms and dating practices.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Benjamin reiterates the paramount importance of consistent effort, genuine interactions, and adapting strategies to individual lifestyles and cultural contexts. He encourages listeners to engage with his content on YouTube and Instagram for more tailored coaching and success stories.
Benjamin:
"It's very, very entertaining."
[34:20]
Through his practical insights and real-world experiments, Benjamin offers a refreshing perspective on modern dating, advocating for authenticity and persistence over gimmicks and superficial tactics.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
-
On the Impact of COVID-19:
"After Covid, it got way worse. ... It really destroyed third spaces for people."
[00:33] -
On Social Experiment Success:
"I did it In, I believe, 13 hours. ... I had to get their number or their Instagram."
[07:01] -
On Approaching Women Respectfully:
"The wrong way to approach a girl is to cat call ... It's always better to start off with something you can give a genuine compliment."
[02:22] -
On the Importance of Texting:
"Texting is really important because even if you have a 10 out of 10 dating profile ... the text conversation is going to determine whether or not she agrees to the date."
[12:23] -
Critique of Red Pill Movement:
"I think the red pill movement has probably made guys worse off, really dating in a lot of ways."
[14:05] -
On Client Commitment:
"But at the end of the day, they need to be the right person to execute it."
[22:10] -
On Choosing the Right Dating App:
"Hinge is the best because the prompts make ... There's less of a social stigma associated with Hinge."
[30:34] -
Final Encouragement:
"It's very, very entertaining."
[34:20]
This comprehensive summary captures the essence of Benjamin Seda's discussion on leveraging modern strategies to enhance dating success, enriched with direct quotes and timestamps for deeper context. Whether you're navigating the complexities of post-pandemic dating or seeking to refine your approach to online matches, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice.