The Parenting Hack That Changed My Fighter Mindset | Miesha Tate DSH #1043

Summary

Digital Social Hour: The Parenting Hack That Changed My Fighter Mindset | Miesha Tate DSH #1043

Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Miesha Tate
Release Date: January 1, 2025

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1. Introduction to Miesha Tate's Parenting Philosophy

In this episode, Sean Kelly welcomes Miesha Tate, a renowned mixed martial artist, to discuss how her approach to parenting has profoundly influenced her mindset as a fighter. Miesha delves into the strategies she employs to balance her demanding career with raising her children, emphasizing the importance of fostering independence and critical thinking in her kids.

Notable Quote:
Miesha Tate shares, “When you have your kids two years apart and God help anybody who has them closer than that, because I just don't know how that works” (01:52).

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2. Education Choices: Challenging the Public School System

Miesha critiques the traditional public school system, describing it as designed to produce factory workers who can follow instructions without critical thinking. She highlights her decision to enroll her daughter in Apogee, an independent private school co-founded by Tim Kennedy, which emphasizes critical thinking, Socratic discussions, and physical education.

Key Points:

• Socratic Discussions: Encouraging respectful debate and argumentation.
• Physical Education: Heavy emphasis on movement, including daily workouts.
• Hands-On Learning: Students engage in activities like building catapults and learning to code.
• Philosophy: Inspired by Waldorf and Montessori, focusing on learner-driven environments.

Notable Quote:
Miesha explains, “Public school was designed to create people that were inside of a box and didn’t really critically think outside the box” (21:05).

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3. Limiting Screen Time: Encouraging Creativity and Independence

Miesha is staunchly against excessive use of electronics for her children. She restricts iPad usage to long road trips or flights and limits TV time to 30 minutes per day per child. Instead, she encourages outdoor play and creative activities to stimulate her children's imagination and cognitive development.

Key Points:

• Imaginative Play: Children are encouraged to entertain themselves without digital devices.
• Neural Development: Emphasizes the rapid growth of neural networks in children.
• Parental Responsibility: Strives to balance modern conveniences with developmental needs.

Notable Quote:
Miesha states, “I look at iPads as like the input is coming from the out, from the outside in. So like you’re programming the child” (17:22).

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4. Health and Biohacking: Enhancing Performance and Longevity

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Miesha's commitment to health and biohacking. She discusses her use of hyperbaric chambers to improve brain oxygenation, red light therapy, and sauna sessions. Miesha shares personal experiences and scientific insights into how these practices aid in her physical and mental performance.

Key Points:

• Hyperbaric Chambers: Enhance oxygen flow to the brain, aiding in recovery and cognitive function.
• Red Light Therapy and Saunas: Support overall wellness and anti-aging.
• Cold Plunges: Provide mood-lifting and antidepressant effects, although Miesha only occasionally engages in them to preserve her resilience for fights.

Notable Quote:
Miesha explains the science behind hyperbaric chambers: “Boyle’s law says that if you hold a gas over a liquid and you add pressure, that it dissolves the gas into the liquid” (04:59).

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5. Fighter’s Mindset: From Winning to Being the Best

Miesha shares her transformative shift from a fixed mindset, focused solely on winning, to an effort-based mindset that prioritizes being her best. This change has not only enhanced her performance in the cage but also contributed to her personal growth and mental well-being.

Key Points:

• Effort-Based Goals: Emphasizing personal excellence over the outcome of winning.
• Resilience: Accepting the possibility of loss as a pathway to self-improvement.
• Recent Victory: Details of her latest fight where she won by dominating her opponent, demonstrating the effectiveness of her new mindset.

Notable Quotes:
“I don't care if I win. Of course I care. But if I don't win and I still prove to myself that I'm the best, that's the ultimate goal.” (10:33)
“Winning is a byproduct of being my best.” (11:18)

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6. Overcoming Personal Struggles: Identity and Purpose

Miesha opens up about her struggles with depression despite her success as a fighter. She highlights the importance of finding a sense of identity and purpose beyond material achievements. Her relationship with God and focusing on who she is rather than what she has has been pivotal in her journey toward mental peace.

Key Points:

• Depression and Success: Miesha candidly discusses feeling empty despite winning a world title.
• Identity Over Achievements: Emphasizing personal identity and relationships over external success.
• Spiritual Connection: Advocating for a personal relationship with God as a source of comfort and purpose.

Notable Quotes:
“The world title didn’t fix anything. It was great for like two weeks and I was like, oh, I'm still depressed. Life still sucks.” (31:32)
“There is no amount of money that can buy peace or purpose.” (34:23)

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7. Call to Action: Engaging with Miesha’s Initiatives

Towards the end of the episode, Miesha invites listeners to engage with her podcast, Built for Growth, available on Spotify, Apple, and YouTube. She encourages signing up for her newsletter and highlights her role as a certified behavior change coach, offering insights into goal setting and mindset development.

Key Points:

• Podcast Availability: Accessible on major platforms like Spotify, Apple, and YouTube.
• Newsletter: Bi-weekly updates written personally by Miesha.
• Coaching Services: Certified change psychology coach providing guidance on mindset and personal growth.

Notable Quote:
Miesha concludes, “There’s a lot of trauma, a lot of crazy things going on in this world, a lot of misinformation. So if you sign up for that, just know that it’s coming from my heart” (35:40).

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Conclusion

This episode of Digital Social Hour offers a deep dive into Miesha Tate's holistic approach to parenting, health, and personal development. Her insights provide valuable lessons on balancing professional demands with family life, the importance of critical thinking and independence in education, and the profound impact of shifting one's mindset from outcome-based to effort-based goals. Miesha's candid discussions about overcoming personal struggles and finding purpose beyond material success resonate deeply, offering inspiration to listeners seeking a more meaningful and balanced life.

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Stay Connected:

• Miesha Tate's Podcast: Built for Growth
• Newsletter Sign-Up: Available on her website, mishatate.com

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Note: All timestamps are approximations based on the provided transcript and serve to highlight key moments in the conversation.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

People that are really talented and you lost, but you still perform.

[C]

Yeah. You have to be okay with that. That then that's where it gets scary for athletes. It's like, if I really want to find what I'm made of, if I really want to be the best in the world and my personal best, I have to be okay with the potential of taking the risk and the potential of losing. Although I think the odds of me winning greatly go up, the better that I am.

[B]

All right, guys, Misha Tate here today. Thanks for coming on last minute.

[C]

Yeah. Or notice. But that's how I whirl sometimes, you.

[B]

Know, super short notice. And I know with the ladies, they like to get their makeup done and everything sometimes. So.

[C]

Yeah, I did mine in the car. How's that?

[B]

Yeah, thanks. I think I hit you up like 20 minutes before.

[C]

Yeah. And I was like, usually that never works though, because I have kids. But. But luckily today, my fiance, I was like, can you take him to gymnastics? Because I got a last minute request and I want. Kind of want to do it.

[B]

Oh, I love it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Two kids, right?

[C]

Two of them. Yeah.

[B]

Beautiful. That's my goal too.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I want at least two.

[C]

Yeah, at least two. Yeah. Well, here's some advice though. One kid turns you into a parent. Two turns you into a referee.

[B]

Really.

[C]

So just be prepared.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I was an only child and I saw parts of my life where I was kind of lonely and stuff. So I just want my kid to be.

[C]

I think it's definitely a favor to the kids. But when you have your kids about two years apart and God help anybody who has them closer than that because I just don't know how that works. My kids, you know, all the time, like, stop. I don't know if it's bad to tell them to stop competing or whatever, because I'm sure it's probably, you know, hardwired in them, but sometimes I'm like, can you guys just stop racing everywhere? Because no matter what, like, it's just a lose, lose for me.

[B]

I love it. You know, they got that competitive nature from you. I don't know what your husband does, but it sounds like he fights too. Oh. So.

[C]

Yeah, well, yeah, it's in the DNA.

[B]

They're going to become fighters then, huh?

[C]

I think so. My daughter's already wrestling, so.

[B]

Wow. How old is she?

[C]

She's six.

[B]

Wow. At six.

[C]

His son is coming in at four. He's going to start wrestling actually, this coming week.

[B]

Yeah. I always ask fighters if they want their kids to be fighters. Most of the times they say no, actually.

[C]

Yeah, I, I share that sentiment. I don't want them to become fighters, but if they do, then I'll try to make them the best that I can.

[B]

Yeah. Why do you lean more towards?

[C]

No, just dangerous. You know, it's not, not, not very pro brain health. And the more that I dive into that world of health and anti aging and, you know, all the, the biohacking world, I just realized, like, how much brain trauma.

[B]

Did you get a brain scan done on yourself or anything like that?

[C]

Yeah, but, you know, a lot of the brain scans that we do before we go into fights and stuff, they're not really. They don't really tell you anything. They're a still image. It's like taking a screenshot. But. But a brain doesn't work on a still image. It's like how it fights fires and how it moves through. So learning more about that, I have. I went to the Amens Clinic and I had a brain scan down there that was interesting. Yeah.

[B]

You had to play the game for 15 minutes, right?

[C]

Yeah, I had to play the game. And then, you know, you lay down and you get the little, you know, what put around your head and you go into kind of what. So it feels like maybe like an MRI machine, if anybody's been in that. But anyways, yeah, they measure your blood flow.

[B]

I had a lot of spots where I wasn't getting blood flow actually in my brain. I was surprised. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. See, And I didn't have a lot of those spots, which was really, really news to me because I really thought that I was going to have a worse brain. But Dr. Amina was actually the one who read my report to me and he was like, okay, Misha, I've seen You fight. I've got some good news. Your brain is actually looks really good. And so his first question was to me was, do you do hyperbarics? And I was like, yeah. He's like, how many have you done? I was like, hundreds. And he's like, it shows, we see it clinically that this helps getting oxygen through the brain. I mean, our oxygen, our brain is a really oxygen dependent organ. It uses about 22% of our daily oxygen, which is impressive, Right, because it's not a muscle or anything like that, but it's operating everything that we do. So when you get in the hyperbaric chamber and you hyper oxygenate your body, not just your blood cells, but the blood plasma, that's where it gets really interesting. Yeah, so Boyle's law says that if you hold a gas over a liquid and you add pressure, that it dissolves the gas into the liquid. And so basically what happen when you go under pressure in a hyperbaric chamber is that you are transferring the oxygen into the liquid of the body, so to speak. And so your plasma becomes very oxygen rich. Typically the plasma is a reservoir for oxygen, so it's only about 3%. But when you start upping that number, basically that liquid that your blood sits in becomes an oxygen magnet and can deliver oxygen to tissue that might not get, you know, very much. Because what do they say when you get injured and it's like, oh, your wrist takes forever to heal, your back, your neck, it doesn't get a lot of blood flow, right? Yeah, but it gets a lot of plasma flow. So if you can get all that liquid there oxygenated, then it's pretty cool.

[B]

Wow. You know your health stuff, I'm impressed.

[C]

Well, I've taken some certifications and courses in hyperbarics, so I was partnered in a wellness center. So I happen to know a bit about hyperbarics. You know, I don't claim to be a. I'm no doctor or anything like that, but it works for me and I've seen it do wonder so if I could share your one story with you. So in our first couple weeks of being open at this wellness center, there was a woman who had a mommy makeover. So she had a tummy tuck and she had a breast lift. And the surgeon was not able to re establish blood flow to one of her nipples. So her nipple was like black as this microphone. Right now it was dead necrosis, real bad. And he was like poking the nipple around and all that came out was like a clear liquid. He was trying to see if there Was any sign of blood flow, but there wasn't. So he's like, I don't know about this hyperbarics, but maybe you should go and check it out. Because I mean, her husband was losing his. He was like, my wife needs a nipple. He's like, I don't care what we have to do, but flying leeches. He's like, I'll donate my nipple for cr. But she has to have a nipple. So they came to us and we treated her really aggressively. And after her first day, she had noticeable pink tissue back in her nipple.

[B]

Whoa. After a day?

[C]

After one day? Isn't that crazy?

[B]

That's nuts.

[C]

It's because there were no blood vessels delivering the blood cells. Primary job of blood cells is to deliver oxygen. But like, basically all the roadways were broken for the blood to get in and out. But the liquid, the plasma could seep in. So when we hyperoxygenated the plasma, well, then the tissue got the oxygen it needed.

[B]

That's incredible.

[C]

There was actually a really interesting study about pigs where they sanguinated them. They took sanguinate, take all the blood out of their body.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

And they filled them with plasma and they put him in like I think it was at 4 atmosphere pressure, 3 or 4. And the pig stayed alive for hours until they released the pressure and then the pigs died. Which is kind of a terrible, you know, sad study. It was done a long time ago. I don't know if they would be able to do something like that now. But anyways, point in case the hyperbarics was able to keep the plasma so oxygen rich that the pigs were able to survive and. And live and be fine until the pressure wasn't there anymore.

[B]

That's incredible. I need to incorporate that into my weekly routine or something.

[C]

I have one in my. In my garage.

[B]

Aren't they like 100k though?

[C]

Oh, yeah. Well, if you get a good one. They're expensive. Yeah, we be 80. You could probably get them and you could get used. So used chambers, steel chamber. If you get a steel chamber and you could get soft shell chambers that don't treat as high pressure and that you can probably get around like. Like 10 to 25,000.

[B]

Yeah, there's a spot here. I think it's called like anadine or something. I just rent it.

[C]

Yeah, there you go.

[B]

So I go every month. It's like a couple hundred bucks. But I do feel amazing after.

[C]

It's good.

[B]

Yeah. What other biohacks do you do?

[C]

Red light.

[B]

Yeah, I got a red light. Sauna at My house.

[C]

Okay. Nice. Yeah. Sauna, cold plunge. I say that with a little hesitation because I really feel like I'm only tough when I have to be. People are like, God, you're so tough. And I'm like, I must save it all for the fight. Cuz otherwise I'm, you know, like dip my toe in cold water and I'm like, ooh, no thank you. So every once in a while I'll do the cold plunge. But I really have to store up my bravery for that. Cuz, man, do you do cold plunge?

[B]

I don't. I used to cold shower a lot, but I don't know.

[C]

So you've never done it?

[B]

I've done it.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

But it's. I like saunas. Well, yeah, I'd rather saunas.

[C]

I much prefer the sauna. But the cold plunge, like the way that I feel afterwards is undeniable. Like, you cannot have a bad day after doing a called.

[B]

It wakes you up.

[C]

It does well, and it's mood lifting. Like it's an antidepressant, basically. That's what it feels like to me. So they use it to help people get like clear addiction because it kind of, you know, helps people with the same pathways. You know, if you have like addiction, it's usually a dopamine issue. Right. It's like you have like, you're looking for that, chasing that high of dopamine. So you get that when you go into the cold plunge, but you don't get the negative, you know, addicting effects of substance abuse. So.

[B]

Yeah, that makes sense. Are you still fighting?

[C]

I'm still fighting.

[B]

Wow. Still going.

[C]

Still going strong.

[B]

Because fighters, they peak in their like 20s, early 30s usually, right?

[C]

Yeah. But with all this biohacking stuff, man, you keep you young for like LeBron out here, right? Yeah, I'm trying to be. Yeah. LeBron and a couple of other guys out there, you know, still have the.

[B]

Same fire you had when you first started.

[C]

It's totally different.

[B]

Yeah. With kids now, it must be, right?

[C]

Yeah, it's not the same at all. Used to be driven by adversity and like, how challenging everything could be was like, yeah, that's gonna, you know, drive me and make it better. And then it worked until it didn't work. Right. Eventually you're just exhausted and you're like, I'm just tired of this. Like, I am tired of feeling like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and then some. So I had to reinvent the wheel. And now I really look at this as effort based not so focused on the outcome. And what I found is that goals can be limiting. Like, if I say, what is, what is my goal in this fight? What's my goal in this event? Well, I want to win. Well, winning, I can be a lot better. A lot. I can be not as good as I could be if I set my goal on being my best.

[B]

Interesting, right?

[C]

So there are a lot of fights that I've won that I wasn't my best. That's like I narrowly won because I played it safe. And in my most recent fight that I had in December of last year, I was like, I actually am telling myself like, I don't care if I win. No, course I care. But I. If I don't win and I still prove to myself that I'm the best, that's the ultimate goal. But I realized by setting my goal on being the best instead of winning, then I actually am more likely to get the outcome that I want anyways and surpass the outcome. So it. I won. Mind you, I was a betting underdog going into the fight. I won two 10, eight rounds. Took her down like within the first 15 seconds every single time.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And then in the third round, I was on my way to another 10, eight round until I finished the fight with a rear naked choke. And I was like, that's what you're capable of. Like, no more focused on winning. Like, winning is a byproduct of being my best.

[B]

Yeah, you dominated. That's an interesting mindset shift because a lot of people, yeah, they're like, whether any sport, they're like, let me just win.

[C]

Well, I think that's the ultimate goal. That's the best thing that can happen, is win. It's not the best thing that can happen. The winning can mean you're far from your best.

[B]

Right. Sometimes you probably fight people that are really talented and you lost, but you still perform well.

[C]

You have to be okay with that. That then that's where it gets scary for athletes. It's like, if I really want to find what I'm made of, if I really want to be the best in the world and my personal best, I have to be okay with the potential of taking the risk and the potential of losing. Although I think the odds of me winning greatly go up the better that I am.

[B]

I could relate to that because I'm a basketball player and I look for the best leagues in Vegas and you know, the teams are amazing, like ex professional players and stuff, but we're getting, we're losing, but I'm getting a lot better, so. Yeah, I'd rather play in that league than win some random league, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So similar mindset for sure.

[C]

Effort based instead of outcome based.

[B]

Yeah. A lot of people play it safe, right. They'll pick fights that they know, especially boxing. I notice they'll win the first 20 fights.

[C]

Right.

[B]

It's like, are you actually getting better though?

[C]

So political. I feel like in boxing, I think in every sport there's politics, of course. But from what I understand in boxing, you know, there's. You've got to play the game a certain way and pad the record and stuff. I don't see that happening as much in mma.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know.

[B]

Yeah. You don't see many undefeated MMA fighters these days. I think Sean O'Malley just lost. So that's. That might be the last one, right? Yeah, maybe. Maybe there's a few Islam. I don't know.

[C]

Well, Sean O'Malley had losses before.

[B]

He said it didn't count cuz he got. He broke some bone or something.

[C]

Are you just siding with him because you guys have the same name?

[B]

No, I mean, I got to support.

[C]

Sean's, but no, I enjoy watching Sean fight and he's a cool kid, but he's, you know, he's. He's lost.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Fair and square.

[B]

Well, Jon Jones has a loss too, but he does. Some people don't count it because it was like the. Yeah, he was winning the fight. Yeah, he did that elbow.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is now legal again, right? They brought that.

[C]

Yeah, the, the 12 to 6 elbow. I don't really understand why that was ever illegal. The story has it that there was some commissioner somewhere that was like, they saw the karate people, like breaking those boards with the like, oh my God, that would crack someone's skull. We can never have that be legal. And I was like, but you're going to tell me like this force of elbow, which is, you know, way more forceful.

[B]

Yeah, it's the same force. Right. Just different direction, I guess.

[C]

Yeah. I honestly, the amount of pressure you could get from doing this is nowhere near when you can move your whole body into the elbow coming from the top. Oh, it's nice. This is like an arm elbow. I don't even know how that would be like.

[B]

Yeah, I guess if you jump and do it, it might have force, but. Yeah, but that's interesting. I didn't, I didn't see that perspective before. Has there been any rule changes that affected your style fighting?

[C]

Yeah, I would say when we went from 3 minute rounds to 5 minute rounds I don't know if, you know, way back in the day, before women were in the ufc, we had only three minute. Women were only allowed to fight for three minutes. I guess we weren't capable of fighting for five.

[B]

Well, they do that in tennis too. Like three sets instead of five sets. Yeah. So did that make. Did that affect you for the better or for the worse, you think?

[C]

Oh, moving longer rounds was for the better. I'm more of a grappler. So it takes time sometimes to find the timing to get a hold of somebody.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

You know, and let's say that it takes you half of a five minute round to get someone to the ground. Well, you need some time to work, but if you get someone down at two and a half minutes in a three minute round, no, you probably lose the round.

[B]

Right. So the longer the better for you. Similar to Nate Diaz's style then, right?

[C]

Yeah, exactly. If we could have no time limits, that'd be great.

[B]

Yeah. If there was no time limitations, I.

[C]

Will eventually get a hold of you, and when I do. Yeah, you'll have a price paid.

[B]

That's the thing with Nate. The longer the fight draw the better.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Yeah. So no time limit would be interesting because then it's just a matter of.

[C]

Strategy that there was like an hour long fight.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. Way back in the day. I don't know if it was under the UFC banner. Might have been under, like, pride or something else, but I know that there have been fights where there's no time limit, and one went on for very long time.

[B]

Like, I could see why they stopped. Just from a business point of view.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I think in baseball they're making those changes too, to just make the sport move faster.

[B]

Right. The Pitcher's only got 30 seconds now, right?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. So they're, they're, you know, trying to accommodate everyone's goldfish.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, tick tock. Yeah, Tick tock. Brand they call it. 3 second attention span humans have now. Isn't that crazy?

[C]

The attention span of a gnat. So, yeah.

[B]

I can't even watch a movie without wanting to check my phone. I get itchy.

[C]

I know. Do you ever try to, like, cycle off your phone or put it.

[B]

Yeah, Dopamine fast. Not as much as I should be, if we're being honest, because I have to be on my phone a lot for work. I get a lot of gas stuff. Yeah.

[C]

Feel like, you know, and that's where you get sucked into it. People are like, you know, parenting so hard, and I'm like I don't know if parenting so hard. It's just everything else is hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, so it makes it hard to do that and be a parent. Cuz parents like a full time job.

[B]

It is. You got iPads for the kids yet?

[C]

They do have iPads, but they collect a lot of dust.

[B]

Oh, you don't let them use it.

[C]

Only on long road trips or on airplanes? Pretty much. And every great once in a while as a reward they get some TV. But it's really only about each kid gets 30 minutes of show. So it's an hour total a day.

[B]

Wow. Strict.

[C]

Yeah, pretty strict. But you know, my kids are awesome. Like me and my kids. You're like, your kids are great. Like they're well behaved and they, they speak well. Like my kids were speaking full sentences at 2 years old.

[B]

Whoa. So super early.

[C]

Yeah. But I think that's what kids are capable of, you know, I mean that, that's me personally. Like no other, you know, otherwise healthy children I think are capable of that. But I think we just handicap them a lot and we baby them a lot and we don't. We think that iPads are okay. I'm like, I personally am pretty anti electronics for kids, especially early on. It's because their brains are forming for the first time. And I look at iPads as like the input is coming from the out, from the outside in. So like you're programming the child.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

When you take the iPad away and a child is bored, that's great. Whenever my kids tell me they're bored, I'm like awesome. Love it. Go find some way to entertain yourself. Because then the creativity comes from the inside out.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And they start creating using their imagination and those neural networks. The children are building like thousands of neurons a minute. It's crazy how their brains formulate. So I think when, you know, we gotta be careful about balancing that. I know we live in a day and age where you can't avoid it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, they're gonna see TVs or their friends. We go to the gym. We don't bring anything for the kids to watch, really play. Yeah. We'll do practice and I'll be like, go find like a yoga ball and play. And they will, they'll play tag and they'll wrestle and they'll do things. It's like that's how I grew up as a kid and you know, before that, that's how the generations before did it. So it can be done. It's just easy and convenient for parents to Just throw their kids on an iPad. But yeah, I'm not trying to shame anybody. I get that it's difficult. I use it time and place too. But I make it really hard on myself by eliminating most of that. But that's my job. That's how I look at it. It's like I had kids. My responsibility to try to do the best by them. Not always the easiest for me.

[B]

Yeah, I remember when I was a kid, I always played outside, you know, I was before iPhone came out. And now I. I barely see any kids playing outside these days.

[C]

Well, they call it the indoor generation. We're part of that too. We spend like 90, 95 of our time indoors. Recent statistic that children these days get less outdoor time than incarcerated individuals.

[B]

Crazy.

[C]

Think about that for a second.

[B]

Yeah. That's less than an hour a day then, right?

[C]

Yeah, most children have less than an hour a day outside.

[B]

That's nuts.

[C]

Well, thank you. I mean, even if they go to daycare, you know, and some daycares don't really take their kids outside. Depends what you go to. And school is 30 minutes, you know, so when else are they outside? They come home and they have homework to do.

[B]

Right.

[C]

I don't see many parents doing kids homework outside.

[B]

So Nevada's 49th in public education. Ranked 49th. Are you gonna send your kids to public school here?

[C]

So I sent my daughter for one year to try it out. We went to an academy charter school. And it was okay for public school. For public school was pretty good. Not, not to my standards though. So I've enrolled her in Apogee, which is an independent private school. So Matt Boudreaux and Tim Kennedy. You know Tim Kennedy?

[B]

He's been on the show?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, he. He's the co founder, Apogee.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

So really kind of pushing that critical thinking mindset. And they practice Socratic discussions every day. So they learn how to debate and argue in a respectful way, which I think is really important because nobody knows how to do that anymore these days. That's like a lost thought. People are just such on. On social media and dig in and they feel like it's a free space to just be a jerk.

[B]

Especially politics.

[C]

Yeah, so. So she's going there and they, they also have a heavy emphasis on physical education, like movement. So they work out for like an hour a day.

[B]

The kids do. Yeah, I love that.

[C]

It's great. And they build things. Like the 8 to 11 year old boys are out there, you know, using saws and building catapults and you know, learning about their code and making goals. And it's a learner driven environment similar to Waldorf or Montessori, which is also something I consider for my kids. But public school, in my opinion, is not where it's at. Like if you want your child to be a critical thinker, it turns out most all of the, the best entrepreneurs and most successful people were usually homeschooled.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

So, you know, like, think about public school. I don't know if you know the history of it or how it was started briefly.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So Rockefeller kind of designed a lot of what public school is today and he was pretty open. It was like designed to create factory workers. That's why they use a bell system at school.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

And everything because you think. And when you're working in a factory, that's how you moved through lines. Right. And you. So public school was designed to create people that were inside of a box and didn't really critically think outside the box. It also works that way, you know, kind of with soldiers and things like that. So for military, it also is good to not have too many people that question authority. But I really think if you want to be successful in your own right, you've got to be able to think outside the box. So I just want my children to be critical thinkers. That's was like, yeah, we're, this is the direction we're going. Yeah, we, we gave public school a shake and it just wasn't cut out for, you know, what I want for my kids.

[B]

Yeah, I feel bad for families that can't afford private school. How much is the one you're sending your kid to a year?

[C]

It's like 9.75amonth.

[B]

Oh, that's not, not as much as I thought it.

[C]

959. No, it's very affordable.

[B]

That's like 10k a year.

[C]

It's. I know people who are, you know, sending their kids to private school are paying double that, 1800amonth. So. And, and they're getting public school type education anyways. They're just paying a lot more for it. It's like paying for a name brand, something, you know, it's like. Yeah. So it's kind of serving the same purpose. Not really. I hate it when 5 and 6 year old kids are like, mom, can we stay at the park a little? We got to leave, we got to do homework. You know, they'll come and do soccer practice. So my Amaya, actually Cody, Garbrandt's son and, and Amaya do soccer practice together.

[B]

Oh, Nice.

[C]

And the other day, he was like, can we stay and play a little bit? And Cody was like, we have to go do homework. And I was like, ah, that hurts my heart. I was like, cody, check out this school. So I told him about Apogee. I was like, it's really awesome. He's like, how much is it? He's like, dang, that's like half what I'm paying right now. I'm like, I'm telling you, it's great.

[B]

Love it.

[C]

Yeah. And there's no homework. Because if you can't do with my kid what you need in seven or eight hours out of the day, why am I sending them to you? My child needs to play and be part of my family and be present for dinner. Like, she's five. Remember the time in kindergarten she would come home and have an hour's worth.

[B]

Of homework at 5. Geez.

[C]

At 5, I'm like, what are we indoctrinating our children to do? And be stressed out.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And unhappy because she just wants to move and play and create. And I'm like, no, you have to do this. Which is absolutely senseless, because we know enough about children now to know that they learn best through play, especially younger children. So can they memorize things? Yeah. Is it efficient? Is it the best way? Absolutely not.

[B]

You could just look it up these days. Why would you need to memorize it?

[C]

No. Most kids hate reading now because the way that they're taught, you know, it's like, oh, memorize these words on a flashcard, then that. Then memorize these ABCs, and then memorize it, and then you'll learn how to read. Like, Apogee totally does it backwards. My daughter loves learning about. Well, she loves reading day. Not that she can fully read yet, but she gets to come in and just tell a story. So she'll open the book, and she'll just tell it how she interprets it. She won't look at the words or anything like that. But what they're doing is instilling a love for books. And when children love books, they will be compelled to want to be able to read because they want the story, they want to know. They want to be able to open a book and. And be able to pull the information out of it themselves. So I think you. They do it backwards, which is so much more effective. My. My daughter loves books. She's absolutely obsessed with books. Wants me to read books to her all the time.

[B]

That's great.

[C]

I just don't see that happening with kids anymore.

[B]

Hell, No, I hated books.

[C]

Of course. Because you had to read about stuff you didn't care about.

[B]

Yeah. Lord of the Flies and all those random books.

[C]

And then what you, then you get tested on it, which is, that's always really fun. Right. You know, like testing creates a bunch of anxiety and not all kids test the same. It's another thing I have with public school. Like, are you telling me that every kid is supposed to meet a certain marker at the like the exact same time? Like, yeah, there's major flaw in that some kids are going to develop and, and have passions in one area or develop faster in a certain area and may be not super strong in this area. Doesn't mean that they won't eventually catch up or that they won't come around. But we're so much like the school's like you have to meet this requirement in English and this requirement of math and this requirement. But how is that teaching them life skills? Like where's their individuality in that? Where is it? Like, hey, you know what? You're really good at this. Let's give you some, let's give you some tools to be successful in an area. This is where you shine. Awesome. Like that's what I want for my kids. I want them to know and be able to distinguish what they're good at and still work at what they need to be better at. But let's not rob them of their individuality and say you have to be exactly like everybody else.

[B]

Yeah. It really nulls your creativity. And if you critical think they'll give you detention or punish you. Yep, I remember. I got that a few times just for asking questions. It's like, wow, I can't even question history or anything.

[C]

No, there's no room for individuality. It's not convenient. Yeah, it's too, too much for the teachers and the system. They don't want you to think for yourself. Just do as they say.

[B]

And then you feel like ashamed almost for like being different and shut down.

[C]

Shut up, be quiet.

[B]

Yeah, you just kind of fit in the system. I stayed so silent after that cuz I used to be like really extroverted class clown. And then school just beat me down, honestly.

[C]

Yeah. And think how much time we wasted.

[B]

Oh my God.

[C]

Like how much of that stuff do you think we actually use today?

[B]

I can't think of that much, to be honest.

[C]

I mean, just the social skills we learned to read and maybe some basic math, I guess, you know.

[B]

Yeah. But after pre calc, like why do you need that?

[C]

You know, just because they want to make sure that you can just can follow instructions over and over and over, follow a formula over and over and over. So if they tell you to do something, you'll just do it over and over and over. Translates beautifully if you're a factory worker.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Or an assembly line or in a, you know, in the military maybe. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But it's all for their convenience, not for yours. Not for your benefit or your success.

[B]

Yeah. Military must be even worse because if you question it there, you're getting push ups and stuff.

[C]

Yeah. Why do you think Tim Kennedy, if you had him on the show. Yeah, he's like, he's like had some real battles with people just, you know, because he is a critical thinker and he can't help but be like, hey, there might be a better way, but I think we need more of that in this world, not less of it.

[B]

I mean, that's why he started his own. Basically he's rescuing people on his own.

[C]

He's independent, he volunteers his own time.

[B]

Right. Military is not going to go out there and rescue mission.

[C]

You know, I was actually just talking with someone from Asheville and I was like, man, how is it out there? Like, what's going on? He's like, they're way under reporting in the media how many people have died and they're way under reporting how big of a disaster this was. There are homes like that have just been. They're not even there anymore. Like, there's no remnants of these homes. He lives there and he was like, it took me three days to get out of my property.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

Just to like clear the trees to get, you know, get to my mom. And you know, I was like, what, what is, what does Tim say? What does he, you know, what's FEMA doing? He's like, yeah, mostly just getting in the way. I'm like 750 too. That's what we're supposed to give, give these people. I'm like, that's such a slap in the face.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

When we just send how many billions of dollars to Ukraine, it's nuts.

[B]

And most of the insurance companies aren't going to cover it. You saw that with Hawaii, right.

[C]

Because they found a way that even if people who had natural disaster coverage, they're quantifying this as a flood.

[B]

What?

[C]

That's what's going on in Asheville.

[B]

Hurricane, right?

[C]

Yeah. But there was like a lot of water, so there was a lot of flooding.

[B]

So that doesn't cover natural disaster.

[C]

You know how insurance companies are.

[B]

Yeah, I Mean, the Hawaii one was nuts cuz they literally didn't cover single thing last time I checked. Isn't that crazy?

[C]

That's why I don't really. I'm not helpful to the system. I don't see doctors. I don't have insurance, like. Well, I have car insurance, obviously, because you have to. Yeah, but like health insurance? Hell no. It's like my money. No thank you. I'll take that money, I'll put it in my own investments, I'll let it make me money and then God forbid, if I ever had an emergency, I would have my money of my own to go and go to the hospital. But I'm not just going to throw it away every month because I'm an otherwise healthy person too, you know, like I work hard at my health.

[B]

Yeah, I'd rather just pay out of pocket if something happens, but I'm pretty much holistic like you too.

[C]

Yeah. And they, you know, they give cash discounts too.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

You know, I mean a lot of places when you pay cash, it's not as expensive as it is when they build the insurance company, which is why we have to pay so much more for our health insurance every month because they milk it in every single way that you can.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, so then the insurance rates go up and. No, I'm just not about that life.

[B]

Yeah, I'm slowly shifting towards an off the grid kind of mindset. I'm getting solar at the house because the energy.

[C]

Chickens yet?

[B]

No, I'm looking into that because I.

[C]

Got the gateway drug. I have chickens.

[B]

Oh yeah. I got the land for that. I don't trust the eggs at the grocery stores.

[C]

Yeah, my chicken eggs are great. They're like sunset orange. Wow, they're beautiful.

[B]

Beautiful.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Really good eggs. Even the, the pasture raised ones are getting exposed right now.

[C]

I know.

[B]

And they're like 12 bucks.

[C]

It's hard to trust anything, you know, and that's why I'm truth seeking. I don't know if you've heard about my podcast.

[B]

You have on some really cool people.

[C]

Thank you. Yeah, I've had, have you had Bryce Mitchell on yet?

[B]

No.

[C]

He's hilarious. He's such a funny guy. You should. He comes out to Vegas every once in a while. It's really a great interview. But I've had Tim Kennedy, Bryce Mitchell, Mapadro, a lot of people, I think a lot of fun experts and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. Built for Growth is, is a truth seeking platform. That's what I'm trying to do. There's A lot of misinformation out there. I'm not a perfect person, but I'm trying to figure it out and help people along the way. Yeah, Mindset, anything growth, like anything mindset. That's what I'm about.

[B]

I love that. Did you always have that mentality growing up?

[C]

I don't think that I did. I think sometimes I had the fixed mindset again. It went to like, winning is the ultimate thing. And when I, when I won my world title, I thought that it would fix everything. I think we're kind of sold this lie that if we eventually get this amount of money or we get this house or we fit in with this group of people that, oh, then we'll be happy. Right. You win the world title, then you'll be happy. It didn't fix, they didn't fix anything. It was, was great for like two weeks and I was like, oh, I'm still depressed. Life still sucks. Didn't fix anything. Yeah, it's a big giant lie. So, you know, and I really struggled. I really was in dark moments. In. I end up losing my next two fights and retiring, contemplating whether my life was still worth living.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

It got real dark. But I made it through and I had to change a lot of the way that I perceive the world. And I think a lot of it was came back down to, you know, what we're told is important in life. It's not important, like who you are is important.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like for me, it's like I'm a, I'm a God fearing woman. I'm not religious. I do go to church. But I always tell people, like, it's not about that. I'm not asking people to start tithing.

[B]

I think that's, I'm not a fan of that either.

[C]

Yeah. You know, because religion can be a business too.

[B]

It is a business.

[C]

It is. So, you know, I just encourage people to say, hey, like, if you feel like you're missing something in life, it might be just having your own personal relationship with God or whatever that higher power looks like for you. And it could be as simple as just starting with a prayer and realizing that you don't have to, you're. You don't have to have all the weight on the, of the world on your shoulders.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You don't have to. You can kind of trust that there's, there's a higher power out there that's kind of looking out for you. And it's just a good feeling.

[B]

It is.

[C]

That fixes a lot of things. World title didn't fix anything. Money didn't fix anything. House, car, it didn't fix, like, what was broken here. Like, my relationship with my loved ones and my relationship with God. Because that became like something you can never take away from me. Right. You could. My house could burn down or be washed away in a natural disaster tomorrow. God forbid, I could lose my family or my, you know, I could no longer be a mother. There's people that have lost their children. Yeah, right. They don't no longer get to call themselves parents. And it's, it's a, you know, that's a heartbreaking thing to think about, but it's very real. But if you took all those things away from me, I can still tell you who I am. And you can never have my peace. So once I found that, there's no amount of money that can buy that. There's no amount of money that can buy a good amount of, like, good night of sleep. No, you can't steal it from me.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

A sense of purpose, right?

[C]

Yeah, a sense of purpose. A sense of just knowing that I'm confident in exactly who I am. Like finding my identity and think my relationship with God just helped that a lot. And don't mean you have to go to church. It's like, you know, say a prayer, maybe. See how it feels. See if that was the missing thing for you. Because I found that that's a common denominator for a lot of people, especially people who quote, unquote, like, have it all, you know, like when these people commit suicide, it's because they've been told their whole life that if they are successful in this way or they become, you know, Hollywood, you know, top selling movie star, millionaire athlete. That. That is happiness. Happiness is not red bottom shoes. It's not. Right. It's your piece like that. And there is no amount of money that can buy that. Like, you have to find that here and you have to find a way to it through, you know, healing a lot of times through traumas and things like that.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've dabbled with a lot of that stuff.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I had a lot of childhood trauma that I didn't even know about because I was just putting. Pushing it.

[C]

Compartmentalized.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But when I got the brain scan, it all showed. I was like, wow, I need to address this.

[C]

Yeah. So I think that's the biggest thing. And I really think that having a relationship with God can be powerful in helping people heal.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

That's my own personal testimony and similar story with me.

[B]

I became a multi millionaire. Was the most depressed I've ever been when that happened. Which is crazy. People watching this are like, what? And I was sleeping like 12 hours a day, waking up with no purpose.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And it was just a bad.

[C]

But from the outside looking in, then this is what's sold to everybody on social media is like, oh, that's what I want. Like, if I had that, my life would be great. Look at his house, look at his car. Look at that wife, the girlfriend. Oh, God, if I only I had that. But I find like nine times out of ten when people have all that stuff, and especially when they're seeking it all, it's because they are still looking for the thing that's going to make them happy. And the thing that can make you happy is the most simple thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I guarantee there's probably people who are homeless who are happier than people who live in million dollar mansions.

[B]

100%.

[C]

Right. So, yeah. Because it's like I don't have things, but I know who I am. Yeah. I have my peace. That's really what happiness comes down to.

[B]

Absolutely. Misha, where can people check out your show and keep up to date with what you got going on?

[C]

Where I really listen to, you know, the podcast. So I've got on Spotify, Apple, YouTube. Built for growth. And if you guys go to my website, misha tate.comm I e s H A you'll get a newsletter if you sign up, if you subscrib, subscribe every two weeks. And I write it myself. I don't use no AI. I'm really, I'm. I'd like to say I'm a pretty genuine person. That's really what I'm trying to do in this chapter too. I've been blessed in so many ways in my life that I think it'd be a shame to not use the platform that I've developed to try to help people move through this. There's a lot of trauma, a lot of crazy things going on in this world, a lot of misinformation. So if you sign up for that, just know that it's coming from my heart. Like, I write it down, I take the two weeks and I write the stories and I send it to you. And I'm also a certified change psychology coach, so a behavior change coach. So I offer a lot of insight in how you can set your goals and make new ones and stay with it. Right. Mindset.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I put that in there as well. Then I have my team that puts it all together and does the hyperlinks and all those things, because that's above my pay grade.

[B]

We'll link it in the video description. Thanks for coming on.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yo, thanks for watching, guys. Check out the links below. See you next time.