The Shocking Truth About Triggers: You're Doing It Wrong | Teal Swan DSH #773

Summary

Digital Social Hour Episode: The Shocking Truth About Triggers: You're Doing It Wrong | Teal Swan DSH #773 Host: Sean Kelly Guest: Teal Swan Release Date: October 1, 2024

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Introduction

In this enlightening episode of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly engages in a deep and meaningful conversation with renowned spiritual teacher Teal Swan. The discussion delves into the intricacies of emotional triggers, ancestral trauma, modern societal challenges, and effective healing practices. Through their dialogue, listeners gain valuable insights into understanding and overcoming internal barriers to achieve personal growth and fulfillment.

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Spiritual Journey and Life Changes

Teal Swan opens up about her recent spiritual calling that led her to embark on a pilgrimage to Mount Shasta for the first time in her life.

Teal Swan [01:10]:
"I've been spiritually called, so to say, there for a few years, but I don't go on vacation. I'm one of those people that follows my career around, and because mostly that's major cities, I've never been anywhere near it."

This profound calling signifies a pivotal moment in her spiritual journey, emphasizing the importance of following one's inner guidance even when it means stepping into unfamiliar territories.

Sean Kelly [01:30]:
"Being called there, that's exciting."

Teal also discusses her decision to purchase a retreat center in Costa Rica in 2016, highlighting her commitment to creating spaces for healing and spiritual growth.

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Understanding Modern Pain

The conversation shifts to the prevalent sources of pain in today’s society, as observed by Teal Swan. She identifies three primary areas where people experience significant distress:

1. Relationships:
   Struggles with maintaining healthy relationships and the breakdown of traditional relationship models.

2. Sense of Futility and Hopelessness:
   Feelings of despair about the future and one's place in the world.

3. Physical Health:
   Challenges in maintaining physical well-being due to environmental factors and societal influences.

Teal Swan [02:53]:
"Mainly pain around relationships. Not knowing how to make relationships work and feeling like all the old models that they thought was a template for making relationships work don't work anymore."

Sean echoes these sentiments, sharing his personal experiences of anxiety and mental health issues stemming from urban living.

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Ancestral Trauma and Healing

A significant portion of the discussion centers on ancestral trauma and its impact on present-day emotions and behaviors. Teal Swan introduces her groundbreaking "Completion Process," a method designed to heal deep-rooted childhood traumas that continue to affect individuals in adulthood.

Teal Swan [10:52]:
"I created a process called the Completion Process. It's a process that's specifically designed to heal these root traumas that people experience in their childhood years."

Unlike modern psychology, which often aims to suppress triggers, Teal advocates for embracing and understanding them to uncover unresolved issues.

Teal Swan [12:39]:
"Modern psychology today, when people get triggered by things, the goal is pretty much to get somebody to not be triggered anymore. This is faulty because triggers exist to try to bring your attention to what is unresolved within you."

This approach encourages individuals to confront and resolve their internal conflicts, leading to more profound and lasting healing.

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Impact of Society on Health

Teal Swan critiques the modern societal structures that negatively impact physical health, such as poor dietary quality and environmental degradation. She underscores the necessity of reconnecting with nature to restore balance and well-being.

Teal Swan [03:38]:
"We're living in a society right now that's not conducive to human health."

Sean adds personal anecdotes about the decline in food quality over the years, emphasizing the importance of regenerative farming practices.

Sean Kelly [07:38]:
"When I eat fruit now, it doesn't taste the same. When I was a kid."

This segment highlights the broader societal shifts that contribute to individual health challenges and the urgent need for systemic changes.

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Education System Critique

Teal Swan offers a sharp critique of the public education system, labeling it as detrimental to a child’s self-concept and overall development.

Teal Swan [22:36]:
"Public school is a way to kill your child's mind. It's a way to kill their self concept. Everything about it is wrong."

She argues for a more individualized approach to education that focuses on uncovering each child’s true self rather than molding them to fit societal expectations.

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Generational Conflicts: Boomers vs. Millennials

The conversation touches upon the intense generational conflict between Baby Boomers and Millennials, rooted in economic hardships and unfulfilled promises of success.

Teal Swan [20:50]:
"The boomer generation really is a generation that believed that the template for success was a very specific thing. They themselves made all kinds of decisions that changed the entire framework and the landscape of this world... There’s a destruction lust between the millennials and the boomers."

This conflict is portrayed as a significant source of societal tension, with Millennials feeling betrayed by the economic and social landscapes shaped by previous generations.

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Parenting Philosophy and Raising Children in Community

Teal Swan shares her unconventional parenting philosophy, advocating for raising children within a community or tribal setting rather than a traditional single-family household.

Teal Swan [24:57]:
"The single most important thing that I ever did for my child was to choose to raise him in community."

She believes that communal upbringing provides children with diverse influences and emotional support, fostering well-rounded and resilient individuals.

Teal Swan [25:03]:
"They have different qualities. And so what I watched in these children... is that they could just run to all kinds of people. They had plenty of resources."

This approach aims to alleviate the pressures on individual parents and provide a richer developmental environment for children.

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Emotional Expression and Masculinity

The dialogue delves into the societal expectations surrounding emotional expression, particularly among men. Teal Swan emphasizes the importance of men embracing and understanding their emotions rather than suppressing them.

Teal Swan [17:21]:
"We’ve put emotions in this category of like, it somehow can take away strength. Like you can actually have emotions and have strength at the same time."

She advocates for practices like shadow work and emotional experiencing to help individuals process and integrate their emotions healthily.

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Finding Purpose

Teal Swan discusses the critical importance of discovering one's purpose, which she defines as being closely aligned with deeply held personal values rather than solely career ambitions.

Teal Swan [29:22]:
"I help people to find their purpose, which is always nested quite neatly in what their deepest values are."

She encourages listeners to live in alignment with their core values to navigate life's chaos effectively.

Teal Swan [41:25]:
"It is so incredibly important for us to look at what it is that we value specifically and what I mean by what we value. Is what is the most important to you and to start to live your life very aggressively in alignment with those things that are the most important to you."

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Teal’s Abilities and Artistic Expression

Teal Swan reveals her unique ability to perceive and interpret energy fields, a gift she has possessed since birth. She translates these visions into geometric frequency paintings, which serve as both art and healing tools.

Teal Swan [39:28]:
"The world is made of fractals for me. That's all it is."

Her paintings are designed to infuse spaces with specific emotional frequencies, acting as a form of energy medicine.

Teal Swan [40:11]:
"If you have the frequency of joy in your living space, then it's literally infusing your entire space with the frequency of joy."

These artistic endeavors are a testament to her commitment to healing and enhancing the environments around her.

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Conclusion: Aligning with Personal Values

As the episode draws to a close, Teal Swan imparts a powerful message about the significance of aligning one's life with personal values amidst societal chaos.

Teal Swan [40:44]:
"It's so incredibly important for us to look at what it is that we value specifically... those things can act as a North Star for guiding us through life, regardless of what is happening around us."

Sean Kelly echoes this sentiment, encouraging listeners to prioritize their core values to maintain direction and purpose.

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Key Takeaways

• Embrace Triggers: Instead of suppressing emotional triggers, use them as gateways to uncover and resolve deeper, unresolved traumas.

• Community-Based Parenting: Raising children within a community provides diverse influences and emotional support, fostering well-rounded individuals.

• Align with Values: Living in alignment with personal values acts as a guiding star, helping navigate life's uncertainties.

• Understand Generational Conflicts: Recognizing the root causes of generational tensions can foster empathy and pave the way for constructive dialogue.

• Art as Healing: Artistic expressions, such as Teal's frequency paintings, can serve as powerful tools for emotional and spiritual healing.

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Notable Quotes

• Teal Swan [12:39]:
  "Modern psychology today... triggers exist to try to bring your attention to what is unresolved within you."

• Teal Swan [22:36]:
  "Public school is a way to kill your child's mind. It's a way to kill their self concept. Everything about it is wrong."

• Teal Swan [29:22]:
  "I help people to find their purpose, which is always nested quite neatly in what their deepest values are."

• Teal Swan [40:44]:
  "It's so incredibly important... to start to live your life very aggressively in alignment with those things that are the most important to you."

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Digital Social Hour offers a profound exploration of emotional healing, societal challenges, and the pursuit of personal purpose. Teal Swan's insights and methodologies provide listeners with practical tools and perspectives to navigate their inner and outer worlds more effectively. Whether you're grappling with unresolved trauma, seeking deeper personal fulfillment, or striving to align your life with your values, this conversation serves as a valuable guide.

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For more information on Teal Swan's Healing Processes and upcoming retreats, please visit the links provided below.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[A]

I created a process called the completion process. It's a process that's specifically designed to heal these root traumas that people experience in their childhood years. When these things happen in adult life, they're kind of, you know, blundering around being like, I, I, I, I don't know why. I don't know why I'm having this reaction. Modern psychology today. When people get triggered by things, the goal is pretty much to get somebody to not be triggered anymore. This is faulty because triggers exist to try to your attention to what is unresolved within you.

[B]

All right, guys, have Teal Swan here today. Thanks so much for coming on.

[A]

It's good to be here.

[B]

Yeah. And you're on the way to a mountain after this?

[A]

Yes. I'm headed to Mount Shasta for the first time in my life.

[B]

Wow. You haven't been there before. Interesting. What drew you to make a trip out there?

[A]

I've been spiritually called, so to say there for a few years, but I don't go on vacation. I'm one of those people that follows my career around, and because mostly that's major cities, I've never been anywhere near it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it was just too strong this time. I'm like, I have to see why.

[B]

Being called there, that's exciting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So sometimes you just get called to random parts of the world.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you just go there and usually something happens.

[A]

It's a serious gamble. I just show up and I'm like, okay, show me what I'm meant to see.

[B]

Wow. No plans?

[A]

No. That's how I ended up with retreat center.

[B]

Wow. So you were just meditating one day and the thought came.

[A]

Not even meditating. It just started coming out of nowhere, like, into my awareness. And then it started showing up all over the place. And I was like, I gotta go there.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I didn't know why. And then I drove into a town on the second day. I think I was there, and I started getting images of my life there in the future.

[B]

Really?

[A]

So I was like, wait a minute. I wasn't called here to meet somebody or to see a place or to be around an energy. I'm meant to find a place here.

[B]

So you might be moving out of Utah.

[A]

No, I did already.

[B]

Oh, you did?

[A]

Yeah, I bought a place in Costa Rica in 2016. Exactly this way.

[B]

Costa Rica?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of cool nature out there. Yeah, I need to get out there. I've heard great things.

[A]

It's beautiful. Yeah.

[B]

And you're leaving America?

[A]

No, I mean, I'm going back and forth.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Crazy times here right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it's seems like there's a spiritual movement, which is good, though.

[A]

Yeah. I wish it was a larger one.

[B]

You think so?

[A]

Yeah. What I'm noticing right now is that people are in a lot of pain. And so primarily this push towards awakening as opposed to try to get out of pain. Not really a push towards awakening per se. It's just that one naturally leads to the other.

[B]

Right. What kind of pain are you seeing?

[A]

Mainly 3 main ones pop up. I would say that the first one is definitely pain around relationships. Not knowing how to make relationships work and feeling like all the old models that they. They thought was a template for making relationships work don't work anymore. Number two would be a sense of futility and hopelessness about the future of the world and therefore one's place in it. And then I would say that the third level of pain that people are struggling with the most is maybe relative to the physical body. It feels like nobody's able to be in a pure state of health anymore because there's so many influences that are deeply damaging. I mean, we're living in a society right now that's not conducive to human health, so.

[B]

Right. Yeah. It feels like we're not operating at 100.

[A]

We're not.

[B]

Because of all the light damage, the foods compromise, water, air, everything. Everything. That's why it's important to be in nature.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I recommend because I gave up major for a large percentage of my life just being in a major city, and it was bad.

[A]

I couldn't do that.

[B]

I felt terrible. I mean, I was having anxiety, mental health problems, but I didn't know. It's kind of because of that. Just being stuck in a city. A lot of people live in a city.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think most people who live in a city understand how much of what they're dealing with is down to the amount of influences that are in C that are not actually, like I said, conducive to human health. It's just. You just start feeling bad, you know, you don't really understand why.

[B]

And then you get used to it and you think that's your Normal level. And then you got ancestral trauma, too, which you specialize in that. Yes, Ancestral healing. I've been diving down that road.

[A]

Oh, yeah? What have you found?

[B]

Had some past life trauma, actually. Some money drama, and hopefully it's fixed. I'm still working on it. But it's interesting. Growing up, I didn't know that was a thing at all.

[A]

Oh, hugely. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's important to dive down that route. Right.

[A]

I think it's one of the key roads to walk down in life, actually. Now, I know that some people are in a position where it's more difficult for them to find this type of information. But what will shock people is that if you start kind of pulling the strings, metaphorically speaking, it'll surprise you how much you can find, even with loose information, you know, like, oh, I had family members that might have been in this place at this specific time. And then you find a historian who could tell you about what was happening then. And it's like living history. You can feel it in your own body. And those experiences, those vibrations, those patterns, those behavioral tendencies are still within us.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's important to explore your ancestors, right?

[A]

Hugely.

[B]

Yeah. So my fiance and I took DNA tests, and she has a lot of indigenous American. Oh, so we're gonna start going to those countries. Yeah. I'm pumped. Because she had no idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And her grandparents were very much in that lifestyle. I think she got, like, 38.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's gonna be immensely healing.

[B]

Yeah. I'm really excited for that. I mean, we've kind of gone away from that. The Native Americans. The indigenous Americans, Right.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, far, far away.

[B]

Yeah. I think religion's taken over a bunch of distractions.

[A]

And there are. There are plenty of organizations right now. Not enough, but we know many organizations that are trying to bring back a lot of the awareness from those indigenous cultures, which I'm loving to support those, because there's a lot of gold there, especially for a return of humanity back to the natural world.

[B]

What do you mean by the natural world?

[A]

Well, they understood the web of life, that as a part of the web of life, we are inseparable from nature itself. So much of their practices, obviously, because they were living in such deep commune with nature itself, they understand that you can't really go against that which you are. So there are so many of their beliefs and practices and everything that are just dependent on and intertwined with the natural world. And that's what so much of the modern world has strayed away from. So I see A lot of these types of organizations that are trying to restore the indigenous awareness as being some of those organizations that will bring people back into a state of balance with the natural world.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

But it's interesting to watch where we are as a world right now because we're. It's like we're. We've got these crossroads. I mean, it doesn't really take a genius to see that. It's like either we end up with a total dictatorship or we end up sort of stepping in the direction of health. More. More health for society. We either go in the direction of more harmony with nature or we destroy the environment to the point where we're like, oh, there's no return now. We can fill these types of crossroads that we're at right now. So I'm loving these organizations that are, let's say, pulling us down one of those roads versus the other road.

[B]

Yeah, we need that. We're really destroying the environment. I had Zach Bush on and I couldn't believe what's going on with the soil, but I could physically see it because when I eat fruit now, it doesn't taste the same. When I was a kid.

[A]

Well, that. I mean, it feels like you have to eat so much more, you know?

[B]

Yeah. You got to eat triple the amount just to get the same nutrients. It's a shame. So we got to go back to just regenerative farming, things like that.

[A]

People don't know why they feel bad. And if you told them, well, you ingest something and just based off of what's going on with the soil, you're taking in so much less than your grandparents took in. There's no way to stay healthy. Even the person who tries to stay the most healthy, it's not going to be able to do it anymore. And it's not even down to the fault of their own food choices. Potentially. It's down to the quality of the food that we can grow because of how industrialized our food process was.

[B]

It's gone crazy. Yeah. Are you still fully vegan?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Alcohol free, sugar free?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow. How long?

[A]

Which means I have no fun in, like, I've been doing that for about, I would say, 15 years now.

[B]

Dang.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a long time. So no cravings at this point.

[A]

I mean, if I have a really bad day, maybe I get like cravings for chocolate.

[B]

Yeah. They say that's from parasites, sugar cravings.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you believe in that parasite cleanse stuff?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, talking to me about cleanses is, like, futile because I'm Kind of obsessed.

[B]

Yeah. You're constantly cleansing, right? Daily.

[A]

Not like constantly, but I mean, if you. If somebody watched my average diet on a day, it looks like I'm constantly on a cleanse.

[B]

You know, I love that. Sometimes you need to cleanse your energies too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

After a long day, you feel drained. Like I'll meet someone. I feel drained.

[A]

So what are you doing for that?

[B]

I don't know. I need to work on that. I don't have like a set practice, to be honest. I just sleep it off. But sometimes that doesn't work, to be honest. Do you have like a. Oh, yeah. Then you could do for that.

[A]

Well, if I'm affected to that degree by somebody, usually they're stirring up some kind of a trigger within myself. So the first place that I go to with that is something like shadow work. There's a whole bunch of different practices within that framework of shadow work that you could use for that. For the one you're describing, I like to use emotional experiencing specifically because there's so much information that is carried by those emotions when you actually sit with them and spend time allowing that subconscious information to rise to the conscious mind. Um, other than that and nature, one of my absolute favorites is to do Epsom salt baths and like Celtic sea salt baths.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Salt does wonders for you. And that's actually ironic because the first time I ever went into a salt room. Have you heard of these?

[B]

I've heard of them. They're some in Vegas.

[A]

That's the thing. I went to my first one yesterday.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. It was amazing.

[B]

And it's just a salt bath.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, no, it's like a room that's made entirely of salt and then they infuse the air with salt.

[B]

Incredible.

[A]

It's amazing.

[B]

I'm going to check that out. That's good to know. Thank you for that. Because Sometimes I film 900 episodes and sometimes one of them will drain me completely. Oh yeah. Cuz I've done that in a year and a half. That's a lot.

[A]

That speaks to your personality.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I think getting these messages out is really important.

[A]

It's super critical.

[B]

Very important. One thing that hit home that I've seen you talk about is abandonment issues. Y. I grew up in a divorced household, constantly bouncing friend groups. And I did a brain scan at Dr. Amon and I had some childhood trauma and I was trying to pinpoint what that was. I think it might be abandonment issues. But I'd love to hear how you've been able to help people do that.

[A]

I created a process called the completion process. It's a process that's specifically designed to heal these root traumas that people experience in their childhood years. Because those childhood traumas, when they're not resolved, they repeat themselves. So what you're dealing with when you're meeting a person in their adult life and they're chronically having issues financially or they're having, you know, this problem crop up in relationships, or they've got this trigger. It's, it's actually linked to an unresolved earlier pain, an unresolved earlier issue. It's just most people don't have conscious awareness of what those things are. It's part of why when these things happen in adult life, they're kind of, you know, blundering around being like, I, I, I, I don't know why, I don't know why I'm having this reaction. I don't know why I keep experiencing this thing. So what this process does is it capitalizes on triggers. That's the heightened emotional reactivity to use them instead of try to tone them down. Which is the opposite approach from modern psychology. Right. Modern psychology today, when people get triggered by things, the goal is pretty much to get somebody to not be triggered anymore. And this is faulty because triggers exist to try to bring your attention to what is unresolved within you. So why not go with it with your body's cues towards what is unresolved so as to create resolve to it? So this process that I created capitalizes on the moment of trigger so as to access the, that mostly subconscious for the vast majority of people, memory that is linked to whatever you're going through in your adult life. So you go through a process of resolving that and that informs all kinds of things. Not only does it give you awareness as to the patterns that you've got in your life and the pain and where it came from, but also what needs to change, what needs were unmet in these deep traumas. Needs are unmet by definition. And so to heal you need to meet those needs. There needs to be some kind of a different outcome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you can create those things with the mind and the emotional space and then you can actualize those changes in the physical by applying what it was that you went through in completion process to your day to day life.

[B]

Wow. I need to try that out because it still impacts me. I have trouble making friends now or keeping them.

[A]

I'd say that doesn't surprise me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now the primary reason why that would be is because when we go through traumas, we are forced to adapt to them. So when you've got a stressor, meaning something that causes you a state of distress, if you have no way of changing that stressor, you have to adapt to the stressor. The ways that we do that cause us huge damage and pain in the future, even though in that moment they may save us. I've got an example for you. Let's say that you have to move around from place to place to place to place, and because of that, you never actually are able to make deep friends. One way that you might decide to keep yourself safe, that's the adaptation to that experience, is by developing an aspect of yourself that doesn't attach to people. So maybe you become quite aloof and cold, and people experience, you know, being around you not being a very warm sort of pulling environment almost, they feel pushed away and borderline rejected and like you're never going to be able to get close to them, so they can't establish security with you. Then all of a sudden, the very adaptations you made to not being able to have friends is the very adaptations that are keeping friends away now.

[B]

Wow. Ironic. But it's definitely. I mean, look at dating. People are bringing their problems into their relationship, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what you specialize in. But, yeah, divorce rates 50%.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's because people have these traumas that they're not addressing, mainly. Right.

[A]

Well, a lot has changed. I mean, when we have this discussion around marriage, we can't really remove it from our cultural context. So a lot of why there's so much divorce is because divorce has been almost more normalized. It was a no, no. Regardless of how much hell you were in before, that's changed a little bit. So people are more willing to get out of it.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

So we need to kind of put that cultural context aside. A lot of the reasons why these relationships are failing for people today is because people don't know themselves well enough when they get into relationships. I think we don't really have a culture that is geared towards people really discovering the truth of who they are. More, we have a culture that's geared towards teaching children to please us. And so when a child goes to please us and develops all these social strategies, it's not necessarily a reflection of what is true or real for them, and you can't maintain that. So if you get into a relationship with those social strategies, you hit a wall eventually where you're like, I can't keep this up. But the minute that you. You Let down on that. It's like the person's like, wait a minute, that's not. I married the other guy or the other girl. Like, who's this now?

[B]

Right?

[A]

This is not what I want. So it's like, this is why. One of the main things I'm telling people in the dating world is that you do not want to put your best foot forward. People's best foot forward is, you know, their adaptations. It's who they are when they are trying to secure whatever object they are trying to secure. You're going to get in trouble there because you're selling something faulty. We understand this when it comes to business.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You walk into a car dealership and you're like, I would like a blue car. And they're like, good, here it is. And then you start driving it. And the month into it, all of a sudden it starts turning. You're like, what a. No, I didn't sign up for this.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

But this is exactly what we're doing in dating. And we're like, wait, no, that should work. Of course it doesn't work.

[B]

Yeah. Dating's brought out so many insecurities of mine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's crazy. Cuz I've run away from conflict.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

It was something I learned growing up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

My shout out to my mom. She watches every episode, but she used to scream at me. And I guess I developed like a habit of running away from that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So in relationships, when we would have tough conversations, I would shut down.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I'm working on fixing that right now.

[A]

That's smart.

[B]

Yeah. But it's been tough because she wants to express her emotions while I want to run away from mine.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And growing up, I didn't want to cry or show emotion as a guy. I feel like a lot of guys hold back their emotion, Right?

[A]

Oh, well, yeah. We definitely live in a society that's not. It's not great on emotions in general, I'll be honest. But I feel like men are definitely the ones that have suffered the most from our negative attitude towards emotions.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

We've also. We've put emotions in this category of like, it. It somehow can. It takes away strength. Like you can actually have emotions and have strength at the same time. It's just, you know, one of the things I'm working with men to do is to figure out how to canvas their emotions and in what set and setting. Because, you know, a lot of men don't understand why women have negative reactions to when they are melting down. It's because that that female is convinced that at that moment she's unsafe because he's going to drop his containment.

[B]

That's a common disagreement with my fiance. Like, I try to fix everything logically, but she wants me to be there emotionally. So that's like our biggest fight. And I'm like a fixer. Like when I see a problem, I want to fix it immediately, but she just wants me to be there, you know, so that's something I've had to learn.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And a lot of women think that way. Right. They just want someone to lean on Saf safety.

[A]

Well, what? Well, it's. I would word it differently. When a, A person has an emotional need, sometimes the answer is to correct something tangible so that the emotions respond. But there are many emotional needs that don't really fit into the category of I need to take an action in order to create resolution to this. Some emotional states, what they need in order to resolve in order to improve is presence, is understanding, is joint brainstorming, is questioning. All these things that I, I don't feel like the very physical oriented male has been taught to do.

[B]

Right. Not at all. Right.

[A]

No. But I wouldn't. But the problem is I wouldn't call this a gender issue.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I would call this a parenting issue.

[B]

I like that. Yeah. There's. Parenting's tough though.

[A]

Oh. Yeah.

[B]

We don't know we're harming them. We're trying to. In their heads, they think they're helping. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like with my mom, I have a.

[A]

15 year old son.

[B]

Oh. So, yeah, it's. It's tough though. Like my mom, like, she's Asian and like school is super important. She thought she was helping by forcing me to try really hard in school.

[A]

But see, that's the ancestral thing, cultural patterns.

[B]

Right. Well, times change in school. I feel like school has lost its value though. Like for her it worked.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

She got a job from it. But I don't think it's as important these days.

[A]

Well, that's a big part of what's happening right now in terms of the cultural suffering. You've got these younger generations where the template for what would make somebody successful in life no longer works and no longer applies. But it's almost like, oh, too late. You've already been sold the idea of this is the track to take. And then that track proves to be faulty and gets you in even more trouble than if you didn't take it. It creates this major division between generations as well.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have never seen the war that I am seeing between the Boomer generation and the millennial generation never before seen this. It is unbelievable.

[B]

Really.

[A]

The amount of hatred between these two generations is unbelievable.

[B]

Wow. I didn't know it's that bad.

[A]

It's really bad.

[B]

So what's the. The core thing they're fighting about?

[A]

Betrayal trail. Yeah. The. The boomer generation really is a generation that believed that the template for success was a very specific thing. They themselves made all kinds of decisions that changed the entire framework and the landscape of this world and the society in a way that would not work anymore for what they did essentially when they were 20. So they sold an idea to the millennials. The millennials followed that ideal. Because of doing so, they fell off a cliff, basically bounced themselves straight towards two huge recessions. Didn't work in relationships. So all of a sudden they're like, wait a minute. I trusted you and you misled me, and now I can never get what you got. There's no hope for the future. And now you won't step out of the position that you're in, where I'm convinced you're making decisions that harmed me. There's a destruction lust.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I mean, that's a theme for 2024. But there's a huge destruction lust between the millennials and the boomers.

[B]

I could see that now. Yeah. It's a lot harder to afford what the boomers were able to afford when they were our age. Right. Like a house.

[A]

You're, like, using the word harder. Most people perceive it to be impossible that they will never in their lifetime be able to achieve any of those simple things.

[B]

Wow. That's how most people view it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Dang. That's crazy. I didn't know that. Yeah. Sometimes I'm in my own bubble. Right. Just so locked in, working. But.

[A]

Well, the people that you are talking to primarily are people who are the exception.

[B]

Right. Yeah. Top 1% of their fields. You're right.

[A]

That's. That's a break to the pattern.

[B]

Yeah. I'm not having on everyday people. Maybe I should.

[A]

It will surprise you.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe I should have on some normal people. I like having on both sides of the argument. Yeah. I have on, like, Democrats, Republicans. I'm open to it. I think it's important.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Provide that form. I'm going to start having more debates. So your approach to parenting, I don't know if you want to get too personal with it, but I think.

[A]

Personal. If you'd like to.

[B]

Okay. I think it's important to. To teach people how you view it.

[A]

But I could write a Bible on that subject. So I don't know where to start.

[B]

Well, with school in particular, because that's a hot one. Are you sending them to school?

[A]

I'm about to say this having full awareness that if certain parents are in a financial position where they can't do anything else, you know, I don't want to, like, come across as a person who's flippant and not aware of that issue that most people are facing. Okay. So knowing that I am very much in reality about where a lot of parents are and the difficulty of raising children and the position that we're in right now with child care and work and blah, blah, blah, Setting that aside, I would never. I don't care how much you paid me, put my child in a public school.

[B]

Wow, what a statement. That's crazy. Just because of what they teach and.

[A]

Yeah, no way. Public school is a way to kill your child's mind. It's a way to kill their self concept. Everything about it is wrong. Now, I know that there are people within that system, which is a backward system, which are trying to fight upstream basically in order to do the right thing. But the entire premise of education that unfortunately still exists, which is like, so embarrassing for us. I'll be honest, it's embarrassing. Like, the fact that the education system has been the same for so many years is just ridiculous. But it's a way to kill your child, and I would not want to do that.

[B]

I agree. I don't even have kids yet, but this is stuff I'm consciously thinking about for when I do, because I look at what I went through and thousands of people I talked to, it's. They all say the same thing.

[A]

What's so important for children is to unpack who they genuinely are. That means that we should be approaching each child as like a very carefully wrapped gift. And it's our job to unwrap the gift, not to mold a ball of clay. And that is the opposite of the way that most people see children. Most people think, oh, this is a child that belongs to me because it came out of me. I'm identified with it like a ball of clam. Going to mold it into what I want it to be. And that is to completely miss the nature of what a child is.

[B]

Yeah, you hear that term helicopter Parent, parents. So how hands on are you? Like, are you controlling their friends? Like, are you picking who they chill with and what videos they watch?

[A]

I mean, to a degree, you're doing some of that with your child, naturally. I mean, this has been what has Made me nervous as a parent is just to realize how moldable they can be and to be so on top of yourself with that awareness as to the sort of dangers and downsides of potentially doing that. But I mean, with my son, I don't want to protect him from the realities of the world. At the same time, I don't want him to get swallowed up by the world.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So this has been a real touch and go process as it is with each child, because every single child is different in terms of what they're ready for and what they're not ready for and what their inclinations are. And it's a touch and go game as to how much exposure that you give them and that they're ready for and how much you kind of preserve their childhood.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, the single most important thing that I ever did for my child was to choose to raise him in community. I don't believe in the single hand family household as a good structure for society to be based on. And I was very serious about that. When I started into this journey of motherhood, I knew that I did not want his father and myself to be the only influences that this child had. I had done enough studying and enough observing and enough of all kinds of things to see that when children are raised in a tribal setting, they become profoundly more well rounded because they have access to different ways of problem solving, different personalities, different values. And while I definitely am very controlling about the type of individuals that I want spending a lot of time with him, of course I'm decreasing that as he gets older because the reality is he has to interact with everybody. I definitely wanted conscious people around him. Everybody who's around him has a different personality and has different, different forms of excellence, I should say. They have different qualities. And so what I watched in these children, including my son, who grew up in this type of environment, is that they could just run to all kinds of people. They had plenty of resources. There was no starvation emotionally and there was no starvation in terms of help or playmates or anything that he would want because that resource is not limited.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And even, you know, it's interesting because like I definitely trend more towards the anxious side, if you want to know the truth.

[B]

Yes, you're anxious.

[A]

Yeah. Much more so than. Than I think.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

People would suspect.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz I've seen your videos. I never got that.

[A]

I'm a warrior.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So, you know, when it comes to parenting and things like that, I definitely wanted to expose him to people who don't operate through that.

[B]

Confident.

[A]

It's not even about confidence because I would consider myself a confident person. I wanted him to be around people who were much more easygoing than I am. I was looking to find people who would balance out a lot of my traits so that he could sample from the different ways of being to decide how he was going to manage the world and what worked for him specifically.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I will, I'm not kidding you right now, I will go to the grave telling you it is the best decision I have ever made.

[B]

Hmm.

[A]

And not just for him. Do you know how many bad days you have as a parent? And you don't get to have a bad day because you have to be there. It doesn't matter whether you're puking your guts up or whether you've been had a stressful day at work. It's not an option to look at your child and be like, sorry, that's your responsibility.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So having multiple people there who are taking responsibility for the well being of a child means that the child has multiple attachment figures. You as a parent actually have time to be a good parent. You're not like constantly breaking down because of how much stress you're under and trying to raise kids at the same time. So it's almost like the child ends up getting the best of everyone.

[B]

I love that system. I've never heard that. So you just have an arrangement with other parents with kids and you kind of just, well, you could make it.

[A]

Look whatever you want to make it look like. And this is what's so fun about the upcoming world is that we're going to be having to, I mean, really having to customize according to what our, our specific needs are. So there are people who are raising children in this kind of more tribal setting that are doing exactly what you're saying. They find friends that they love and let's say they find, you know, four, four other parents, like groups, like we're talking sets, right. And amongst them they're like, you know what, we're going to do this whole thing together. And so they arrange different days. You've also got people who choose to cohabitate. You've got people who are off the gridders who are like, you know, it's going to be like a literal tribe where we've got kids running around all between our houses and stuff like this. And I mean, it's just, I, I really wish that I could have parents come see what that looks like.

[B]

I love that. Yeah, we should spread that more. Have you ever thought about Going completely off the grid.

[A]

I've thought about it. My problem is, is that I'm. I can feel my own purpose. And calling is supposed to be so profoundly in relationship to the world that going off the grid would be an avoidant move for me to make. And I'm not naturally an avoidant person. I feel the opposite of. Of what you were describing in yourself earlier. I will run straight into an argument.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Wow.

[B]

So you have no fear of it?

[A]

No.

[B]

Dang. Yeah. I shut down with tough conversations. I really need to fix that, though, because it affects everything. Business, personal.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Dating. Yeah. You mentioned the number two reason was purpose for people being upset right now. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that took me a while to find. And I'm. I mean, I'm only 27, so it's subjective, but, yeah, I didn't find it till last year. Some people never find it. Is that something you help people find?

[A]

It is, yeah. I mean, I never look at somebody in the face and tell them what their purpose is. But, yes, I help people to find their purpose, which is always nested quite neatly in what their deepest values are. What's the most important to them. People have a very hard time figuring out what's most important to them, even though what's ironic is they. They start acting in the direction of what's most important to them on a subconscious level. It's just you have to make what they're doing and what they're thinking available to the conscious mind. For them to be like, oh, you're right, that is the most important thing to me.

[B]

Right. Well, yeah.

[A]

If they start going in that direction, then their life starts to be one that is. Is built on deep meaning.

[B]

And that's a great way to live. There's a lot of influence in their ears. That's why I think it's hard for people to really find it. There's a lot of noise.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, and also, we've got this concept, especially in the Western world, that your purpose is indivisible from your career. I mean, your purpose for being on Earth is not necessarily about a career. It is for some of us. It was for me, but that's not always the case.

[B]

Really.

[A]

No. And so if everybody's like, my existence on Earth is about a career I'm meant to have, then you could miss your purpose quite quickly.

[B]

Yeah. There's that balance, though, because you need money to live.

[A]

I know. Yep.

[B]

And that's why I always ask. God's like, matthias, is Stephano. Like, how are you living? He doesn't care about money. That always fascinated me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But for me, money is pretty important, I'll be honest. Like with my lifestyle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you find yourself in that dilemma too, though?

[A]

Myself?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I have a good relationship with money.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I, I have a real appreciation for it while at the same time seeing the downsides while being open to a new system if somebody would like to create it, while at the same time, you know, I, I just, I have a, I've sort of a. I wouldn't say that my claws are dug into the concept of finances to the same degree that other people are, but I'm not resistant to it either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's, My life does not revolve around finances. My life revolves around exactly what I feel like is the most important to be doing with my time at any given moment. But, you know, being in a space of realism, I've had to bring people onto my team for whom that is their purpose. Otherwise, you know, people like me just end up running in this direction and all of my employees don't have a life because of that. So.

[B]

Yeah, I've seen people go too far down that road. That's why I'm laughing. Yeah.

[A]

See? So I know I could go too, too far down that road.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's important.

[A]

Why? It's important to have people to keep you in alignment a little bit around you. Right.

[B]

Have you had some troubles with ego balancing it?

[A]

Not. I mean, the troubles that I've had with ego in the past have definitely been safety mechanisms that I created for myself long ago.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I had a superiority streak when I first came into, I think, professional sports and even beyond then. I had this attitude of like, I can do everything that somebody else does 10 times better than they can. I'm a very competent person. The thing is, is that this kind of intoxication on that idea was something that I was using to protect myself from the feeling of having to depend on someone. So it's not that, you know, the superiority was really fueling my sense of self esteem as much as it was keeping me from facing how terrified I was of trusting someone.

[B]

Got it. Interesting. Yeah. You were playing sports at a very high level, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The horse riding.

[A]

No, I, I was horse riding my whole childhood, but actually I was a professional skier.

[B]

Oh, skier.

[A]

And I was a competitive speed skater.

[B]

And how did that end?

[A]

You know, I, I, I'm not going to say that I made any headlines. I was not one of those people who you would see at the Olympics and know my name. I mean, I was. I was on the US Team.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

But any real professional athlete, especially in America, can tell you that, like, only people that are known in a sport is, like, the top three.

[B]

Right.

[A]

There may be, let's say on a given team, there may be anywhere between, like, 10 to 20 people. You will never know those people. And I was one of those.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

It feels like, you know, even though if you compare me to the average person, I'm far above the level of the average person. It doesn't matter when you're at that elite level.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I very much feel like my sports career was something that was meant to forge me for what I'm doing now.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

It was one of the best things I could have ever done. I love sports. Whenever anybody's like, I don't like sports very much. In competition, I kind of have, like, an internal meltdown because I love to.

[B]

Turn off for me. Yeah, I love sports. You play anything? Right now?

[A]

I actually play tennis.

[B]

Okay. Not pickleball?

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Tennis is way harder.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On your knees. I play. I play pickleball. Unfortunately, tennis is just too hot out here, dude.

[A]

Oh, yeah. There's no way I could play it here.

[B]

Yeah. It's 110 degrees outside right now.

[A]

I still ski, too.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've never been skiing. I gotta go one of these days.

[A]

That is the saddest thing I've heard.

[B]

Yeah. It's a fear of mine, actually.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Heights, actually. Yeah, I guess. Heights. Heights and fast speed mixed a little scary to me. I'm sure you've had some nasty wipeouts.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Oh. You don't do anything at a professional level without getting injured. Like, bad. Bad.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. Trade off with pro sports, Right. What's. What's the main mission right now? I know you're going to the mountain. Anything planned after that?

[A]

I go on Canadian tour. After that.

[B]

You're gonna do a bunch of speaking gigs?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice. I haven't been to Canada either. How's it over there?

[A]

I really, really love Canada.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It's interesting because when you're in America, it's like you kind of forget that there's a whole country up there because I don't feel like you hear a lot about Canada. You know what I mean?

[B]

Other than Drake, nothing.

[A]

So. But, like, you go up there and it's like this whole other kind of existence, it's not different enough from America. Some parts. I mean, the area around Quebec definitely is, but a lot of These parts are not so different from America that you feel like you're not in America, but then all of a sudden it's like they're. You know, somebody will say something and you're like, whoa, whoa, wait. I actually am in a different place. I find the people to be a lot more trusting.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Canadians?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

A lot more trusting. They are apologizing constantly. Yeah. And Toronto actually gets my vote for the most diverse place that I've been. That you can't feel racism at all.

[B]

Wow. I like that. That's really cool to me. I faced some of that growing up, but. Yeah, that's. I love that. That's why I like the spiritual community. It's all different races. It's awesome. Every time I go to a Billy Carson events, like, people from all over the world, I'm actually going to Egypt with them. Have you been there yet?

[A]

No, actually.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I've been invited 8 million times, but.

[B]

No, it hasn't called you yet. Wow. Because that's, like, one of the spots.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Have you done any trips with Matus yet?

[A]

No.

[B]

Really? Okay.

[A]

I don't ever go anywhere unless it's for my career. Career. Like, if I'm getting. If I'm going somewhere for a speaking gig or if I'm going somewhere because I'm hosting a retreat or.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

A workshop or something like that. I'm very, very, very, very, like, dedicated towards my career, specifically being the thing that everything orbits around. So it's very unusual for me to do a pilgrimage, which is why this is unusual, what I'm doing for Mount Shasta.

[B]

Interesting. Do you have any retreats coming up?

[A]

I have retreats coming up in November. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We're out at my retreat center in Costa Rica.

[B]

Oh, okay. I'm gonna look into that for real. Let me know the dates, please, because I've been meaning to get out there. Is it with psychedelics or just like, breath work or.

[A]

No, I mean, it's with whatever I decide people need at a given moment. Because I call this the curveball event, the one that I host down there. And it's for an entire solid week. I don't decide what I'm going to do with the people until they're in front of me. And it's based off of watching their patterns that I decide then what we're going to do and how they respond to that dictates how we're going to do the next.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if we show up, what do you. What exactly are you looking for in people? And then what? What does that determine?

[A]

I'm watching all kinds of things. Like I'm watching people's emotional responses to questions that I'm asking them. I'm talking to them about what it is they're struggling with the most or what they're consciously aware that they're struggling the most. Because it's usually not the same thing. I am watching, obviously I'm seeing energy fields. So I'm watching the way that the energy, their energy fields are moving. And what's real beneficial about living in a time space reality that's based off of the law of mirroring. Most people call this the law of attraction is that people can't share the same space and time without being a vibrational match in some way. So you're going to see these big trends. If somebody is able to actually make it to these events and they're in the same space and time. It's crazy the amount of, let's say, unanimous patterns and problems people are facing. And so it becomes the space for completely amplified healing where, you know, when I'm zeroing on, on an issue that that one person has, it's the issue of the whole group. And so together it's like they're identifying with each other. And we're able to work through things at such a deep level that by the time they leave, they don't feel like they're the same person anymore.

[B]

Wow, that is cool.

[A]

I love those events.

[B]

Yeah, that sounds really fun actually. Yeah. Because subconscious is what, 95%? So people don't even know what they're dealing with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because that just takes over.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And a lot of subconscious thoughts are negative, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, a whole lot of them.

[B]

Damn. So something like this is needed. I think people should check it out. For sure. We'll link it below. How many people do you cap it up?

[A]

I usually cap it at about 22.

[B]

Oh. So nice and intimate events.

[A]

I have other events for larger audiences, very large audiences. I try to kind of capture everything that I can in terms of little events to large events. But that one's my small one. It's where I really want to be able to work hands on with people.

[B]

That's cool. Have you always been able to see people's energy fields?

[A]

Yes, always.

[B]

Since you were really young?

[A]

Yes. I was born this way.

[B]

Is that genetic, you think?

[A]

No, actually it's down to corrode. Intentionally coming into a mother who would corrode my myelin structures.

[B]

Whoa, what does that mean?

[A]

So there's a myelin sheath that is around nerves. I opted into a mother who had a different RH factor than me specifically because I knew it would corrode the aspects of my nervous system, which would, let's say, enable me to fully plug into the matrix. So I actually literally can't. So the closest that people can come to understanding what it is to live as me on a daily basis is to do a whole lot of dmt. I'm basically watching fractals all the time.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you could see a fractal right now.

[A]

Oh, that's all the world is made of for me. That's all it is. So, like, if you look at my frequency paintings that I draw, all I'm doing is drawing the. The frequency template, that sort of geometric template to things. So, like, if joy. We experience joy as a specific feeling in the body, but before it becomes a feeling that we perceive in the body, it actually is a geometric structure that you can see in the energy field. So I can watch emotions just by virtue of watching the patterns in somebody's energy field. So by painting them on canvas, they act as like a medicine. Actually, that's what those paintings are designed to do. It's like if you. Let's say that you have the frequency of joy in your living space, then it's literally infusing your entire space with the frequency of joy.

[B]

Really?

[A]

That's the only reason I started painting these things.

[B]

Oh, wow. I'll definitely buy one. That's really cool.

[A]

It's funny, though, because most people are like, oh, it's abstract art. I'm like, you know, it would be if I wasn't copying them from how I see them.

[B]

That is awesome. I'm gonna get one of those in my office. I'd love to feel joy all day. Super cool. Now I see why you have anxiety. You're probably getting so much information overload, right?

[A]

I'm getting. I taken so much information compared to the average person that it's, like, difficult to live.

[B]

Yeah. Especially a crowded room or conference. You're probably freaking out. Wow. I could see why you like to disconnect in nature now. Super cool. Deal. It's been fun. Anything else you want to leave the audience with.

[A]

Right now? I think the very most important thing, especially in a world that is complete chaos, where you feel as if you don't have a lot of hand in these bigger decisions that are going to be made, especially politically, it is so incredibly important for us to look at what it is that we value specifically and what I mean by what we value. Is what is the most important to you and to start to live your life very aggressively in alignment with those things that are the most important to you, because those things can act as a North Star for guiding us through life, regardless of what is happening around us. If your values don't change, what's important to you doesn't change. You know exactly what to dedicate your energy to, regardless of what is going on outside. That's very important for people.

[B]

Amazing. Yeah, we'll leave it with that and we'll link your your stuff below. Thanks for coming on.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Thanks for watching guys, as always. See you tomorrow.