The Smartest Players Always Win... | Cuttino Mobley | DSH #2055

Summary

Digital Social Hour – Episode Summary

Episode: The Smartest Players Always Win... | Cuttino Mobley | DSH #2055
Date: July 8, 2026
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Cuttino Mobley (Former NBA Player)

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Overview

In this insightful and candid episode of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly sits down with former NBA player Cuttino Mobley to explore a wide array of topics, including physical health and longevity, the evolution of basketball, mental resilience, parenting, masculinity, trauma, and the life lessons Mobley has gathered on and off the court. Mobley delivers honest reflections and practical wisdom—often rooted in tough personal experiences and years of professional competition—touching on everything from training philosophies to the importance of mindset. The episode blends personal storytelling with actionable guidance, making for an engaging and value-packed conversation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holistic Health, Injury Prevention, & Discipline

• Mobley's Approach to Health:
  • Emphasizes a strict daily regimen (“like Groundhog’s Day”) and minimal negotiation with himself when it comes to maintaining health.
  • Attributes his lack of injuries to cross-training in multiple sports—football, soccer, boxing, track, swimming—and encourages parents and young athletes to diversify rather than specialize early.
  • Quote:

    "Weakness is my friend, because weakness is going to tell me the truth about me. Fear is going to tell me the truth about me. So I need to become best friends with them because they will always tell me the truth. Comfort... they're fake friends." — Cuttino Mobley [00:00 & 29:05]

• Training Advice:
  • Advocates training the "whole body" to avoid overdevelopment and injury (e.g., overdeveloped quads in basketball players but weak hamstrings/glutes).
• Discipline:
  • Praises the discipline of NBA veterans like LeBron James and frames success as “falling in love with the boring.”

    "That's what it's about. It's about falling in love with the boring." — Cuttino Mobley [05:05]

2. Mindset in Competition, Rejection, and Growth

• Failure and Vulnerability:
  • Mobley views rejection and failure as essential tools for personal growth, both in sports and life.
  • Encourages embracing discomfort and fear for self-discovery.
  • Quote:

    “Get out there, fail...so you know how it feels, right.” — Cuttino Mobley [06:20]

• Criticism & Mental Resilience:
  • Discusses professional athletes’ mental battles with critics and imposter syndrome, stressing self-belief and the importance of not internalizing negative external feedback.
  • Quote:

    "As soon as you walk out the door, you're getting criticized... It's a privilege to have 20,000 people booing at me." — Cuttino Mobley [09:00–10:10]

3. The Evolution of Basketball: Skills, IQ, and "Softness"

• Changes in Play Style:
  • Expresses concern over modern basketball’s focus on youth, speed, and three-pointers, lamenting the lost art of the mid-range game and basketball IQ.
  • Quote:

    "There's so much meat on the bone... 17 feet from the basket... all the greats, they use mid range." — Cuttino Mobley [16:13]

  • Argues many current players lack the nuance, understanding, and game management skills of previous generations.
  • Praises players who excel with simplicity and efficiency (e.g., Klay Thompson’s 60 points on 11 dribbles).
• Strategic Thinking:
  • Emphasizes “playing chess” on the court; exploiting matchups, understanding roles, and thinking several steps ahead.
  • Quote:

    "You gotta play the game within the game." — Cuttino Mobley [26:30]

4. Mentality & Culture: Competition, AAU, and Friendship

• Competitiveness Diminished by AAU:
  • Observes that AAU culture and modern player camaraderie can sap competitive edge.
  • Reflects on how hard it is to "kill a friend" on the court, stressing the need for toughness and respectful animosity in sports.
• The Necessity of Weakness Awareness:
  • Coaches and scouts always exploit weaknesses; Mobley encourages embracing and befriending weaknesses for growth.
  • Quote:

    "Thank you so much. Weakness is my friend. Because weakness is going to tell me the truth about me." — Cuttino Mobley [29:05]

5. Life Lessons: Sports Psychology Applied to Parenting & Business

• Transferable Skills:
  • Asserts that preparation, discipline, and incremental progress in sports directly apply to parenting, relationships, and business.
  • Daily Flow:
    • Details his own daily “flow” for productivity: early rising, grounding, meditation, journaling, working out—"starting the machine the right way."

    "Once it's a flow to it, the machine is running, I can walk away from the machine for a second because a day later, the machine's still going." — Cuttino Mobley [31:37]

• Baby Steps:
  • Compares life and business growth to mastering layups before taking three-pointers—advocates small steps and mastering fundamentals.
  • Urges listeners to take accountability and avoid victim mentality.

6. Family, Trauma, and Growth

• Personal Trauma:
  • Shares powerful, formative stories from his childhood: surviving violence, losing friends, growing up with family incarceration—all of which shaped his perspective and sense of gratitude.
  • Quote:

    "Your life can change in two seconds, so you gotta watch what you're doing now…they kept giving you different messages. The universe of what to do and what not to do." — Cuttino Mobley [36:55–39:00]

• Importance of Environment:
  • Advises removing children from negative familial patterns; stresses the importance of learning from diverse, healthy families and building new positive “tribes” if necessary.
  • Discusses lessons and warmth passed on from his own “four parents,” emphasizing love, support, and daily affection.

7. Masculinity, Mental Health, and Society

• Toxic Masculinity Discourse:
  • Critiques “toxic masculinity” narratives, arguing men face quiet mental health struggles, stigma when seeking help, and systemic challenges (custody, societal respect).
  • Promotes honest dialogue among men and encourages reaching out for support.
  • Quote:

    "It's really hard for men out there because it's like a war against us. Not just black men, men in general." — Cuttino Mobley [43:17]

• Respect, Boundaries, and Gender Roles:
  • Calls for mutual respect between genders, laments the culture of “walking on eggshells,” and urges both men and women to embrace their roles openly.
  • Champions the idea that it’s okay for men to be men; insists on respectful, direct communication and self-confidence.

8. Philosophy of Cutting Negativity & Growth

• Removing Negativity:
  • Describes how aging and life experience helped him decisively cut out negative, dysfunctional relationships and environments for personal peace and longevity.
• Diversity of Influence:
  • Encourages seeking positive customs, relationship habits, and inspiration from outside one’s own background.
  • Quote:

    "If you want a good family, now go to where good families are and look at them. That's how you copy." — Cuttino Mobley [56:35]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Embracing Weakness:

  “Weakness is my friend, because weakness is going to tell me the truth about me. Fear is going to tell me the truth about me. So I need to become best friends with them because they will always tell me the truth.”
  — Cuttino Mobley [00:00, 29:05]

• On Criticism:

  "It's a privilege to have 20,000 people booing at me... Some people don't even know who this person is, but they know who you are."
  — Cuttino Mobley [09:00–10:10]

• On Modern NBA:

  "There's so much meat on the bone... The greats use mid-range... I don't know who these people are [saying] 'threes or layups'."
  — Cuttino Mobley [16:13]

• On Simplicity & Efficiency:

  "Klay Thompson: 60 points and 11 dribbles. Unheard of."
  — [23:20]

• On Accountability:

  “This is the movie that I created. So my director, my producer, my actors, I create this, I'm writing this script. So you can't blame anybody else for the movie that you are projecting.”
  — Cuttino Mobley [33:24]

• On Perspective:

  "If you want a good family, now go to where good families are and look at them. That's how you copy. But you can't copy what you... I've never been around good man or a good woman or a good family. It's hard for me to do it..."
  — Cuttino Mobley [56:35]

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Timestamps of Important Segments

• Adversity and Training Philosophy: [00:00–05:20]
• Rejection, Growth, and NBA Life Lessons: [05:23–09:32]
• Handling Criticism & Mental Resilience: [09:33–12:11]
• Game IQ, Specificity, and Modern NBA Changes: [12:11–24:35]
• Role of Relationships & Chess Mentality: [24:43–26:45]
• Topics on Weakness, Growth, and Society: [28:01–33:24]
• Trauma, Family Background, and Environment: [33:51–40:10]
• Masculinity, Mental Health, and Gender Dynamics: [42:39–48:48]
• Cutting Out Negativity & Personal Boundaries: [51:05–54:00]
• Perspective, Learning from Others, Law of Attraction: [57:52–60:44]
• Personal Health Products & Outro: [61:18–62:10]

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Engaging Takeaways

• Mental and physical resilience are intertwined and built through daily habits, honest self-assessment, and embracing discomfort.
• Success—on and off the court—relies on humility, strategic thinking, and understanding the “game within the game.”
• Masculinity and parental roles are under societal scrutiny; Mobley believes open dialog and respect are needed for genuine growth, not shame or blame.
• Family patterns are powerful—sometimes you must forge your own traditions and “tribe” to evolve.
• Learning is lifelong; we must seek wisdom from every possible source, embrace new cultures, and avoid the comfort zone to maximize potential.

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Closing

Mobley’s blend of streetwise experience, professional insight, and unfiltered honesty makes for an episode that's as motivating as it is thought-provoking. Whether discussing the nuances of basketball or the challenges of parenting and personal growth, the core message is clear: meet adversity head on, never settle for comfort, and always keep learning.

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Products Mentioned:

• Blue Scorpion Venom (pain and inflammation relief supplement)
• New supplement company focused on both athletes and general health [61:18]

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For further engagement with Cuttino’s philosophies or to follow the discussed products, check out the links in the episode description.

Transcript

[Coutinho]

Football players train basketball. Basketball players train football. The impact, the force. Swimming, boxing, all that. If you do all that in warrant on a regular basis in the summertime, you have less chance of being injured during the season. Weakness is my friend, because weakness is going to tell me the truth about me. Fear is going to tell me the truth about me. So I need to become best friends with them because they will always tell me the truth. Comfort will not tell you the truth. Being content won't tell you the truth. They're not actually your friends, they're fake friends. They just want you to hang with them.

[Sean]

All right, guys, we got Coutinho here, former NBA player. Thanks for coming on, man.

[Coutinho]

Thanks for having me, brother.

[Sean]

Looking good at 50. We were just talking about health, the importance of it.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. So, you know, I got my daily regimen that I use, and I've been very faithful with it and try my best not to negotiate those things, right? So I might fall off once or twice a month, but that's just, you know, cookies or ice cream sometimes. Other than that, I just stay kind of simple, man. It's like Groundhog's Day. Every day the same thing, you know.

[Sean]

Were you always big on health, like when you were an athlete too?

[Coutinho]

You know what? I was blessed, man, to not be injured, right? And I think it was just how I kept my body. My dad was a boxer, my mom was athletic. My mom is actually. Is funny. She just showed me a documentary that Philadelphia put out, the people in Philadelphia put out, about basketball, women basketball in the 70s. And my mom was part of a team, I think the Philly Lakers, it was called. And you know, when she used to teach me basketball, I'm like, you don't know what you're talking about. But then now, later on, I see that she was herself an athlete and big time, you know. She wasn't even telling you? No, she. You know how you tell in passing. Some parents say they did something, you're like, yeah, whatever. That's how it was. Right. But I'm very blessed to have parents that are healthy, right. Good skin, athletic and things like that. So it also is a part of the DNA.

[Sean]

Yeah. Wow. So you never got major injuries when you were playing?

[Coutinho]

No.

[Sean]

Damn. That's like unheard of.

[Coutinho]

I know, it's crazy, right?

[Sean]

These days, especially because they're playing so many games.

[Coutinho]

But, you know. Okay, so the thing behind that, Sean, is if you think about it, right, I played football, I boxed as track, I did every sport. So I encourage parents to now play, especially when you're young. So I say soccer, track, boxing, and swimming. If you do those four things that control all the muscles in the body. Basketball, football, things like that, you can do it later. But to get the fundamentals down, swimming, lungs, body movement, you know, soccer, foot coordination, track, you know, form of running. And then boxing is survival, Right. And discipline. So if you do all those things, you have a better chance of you not having as many injuries when you start getting older. Because when you start focusing on one sport, you think about it, the muscles are only developing that particular part of the body, so that's where the other part of body becomes compensated and you get injured fast.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, that's what I. That's what I think.

[Sean]

All right, so that's a really interesting take because you're a basketball player, so you could have just told your kids to play basketball, which most parents would do, right?

[Coutinho]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sean]

But you're like, nah, through that. I'm playing all these sports for my kids.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. So. So my son is 14. He's built like a tank, right. This kid is. And I'm not saying he's not going to get injured, but he's. He's. He's sturdy, right. And I think it's because he plays so many different sports, me playing so many different sports. But when you focus on one sport, see basketball players, they have overdeveloped quads, weak hammies, right? And sometimes their gl don't fire. And then you just found out about the tibialis, which is in the front of the leg. Now, if you start to develop that and you start to develop the hamstrings and then work on the glutes to activate the glutes. You have less problems with your knees, because your knees and the IT bands, which is on the side, take a lot of the brunt. And I think, me personally, football players, that's when they train basketball. Basketball players train football. The impact, the force, swimming, boxing, all the. That if you do all that in one on a regular basis in the summertime, you have less chance of being injured during the season. That's what I believe that, you know, and a lot of people focus on one thing. So if I focus on just biceps, sooner or later, right. It's. My bicep will be big, but the rest of my body. You ever seen guys who's top heavy.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

They don't focus on their legs. That's how that is. When you come to playing that type of whatever sport it is, I think you should focus on the whole body. Not just that particular.

[Sean]

I mean, it worked for you, and it's still working for you. You're still hooping at 50s.

[Coutinho]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Sometimes, you know, it's a little slower, but still, that's just the mind. Yeah.

[Sean]

I mean, when you see Braun still running that 40, it's, oh, I love it.

[Coutinho]

I love it, man. That's the discipline behind it, too. Right. Because how many times you woke up and say, no, not today. Right. I mean, he's. Every single day, same vitamins, same stretching, same lifting, you know, getting those shots up every single day. And that's what it's about. It's about falling in love with the boring.

[Sean]

Absolutely. What age did you retire?

[Coutinho]

I was 34 or 5.

[Sean]

Okay. That's pretty average.

[Coutinho]

34. Yeah, around 34. I retired around 34, didn't want to, but the situation at that time, so I had to take a step back. But listen, man, I love it. It was. It was an amazing run. And then still to this day, you know, you have this fraternity of the NBA that's one of the largest in the world. Yeah, Right. So for me, having those relationships and being able to get indoors, you know, you can't ask for nothing, El.

[Sean]

And that's smart, because a lot of people will retire and not leverage those relationships.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, man. I don't. You know, I think when you play a sport, and even for young. When I mentor younger guys, younger men, whatever it is, people may take this the wrong way, but at a, you know, teenage, you know, take them to the beach, take them to the park, take them to wherever and say, yo, listen, go out there. It's kind of like being a salesman. Go out there and you see those girls. Go get. Go get the numbers. Even if you get rejected, right? Because it's teaching you rejection. Teach you more about who you are as yourself. So I'm learning how to become a better man, a better communicator, a better listener in the NBA. Right. Because I'm playing in front of 20,000. There's millions watching. I don't have time for feelings. I have to put the product out there. So at the end of the day, everybody else is my boss. So I need to make the boss happy. I gotta wake up early. I gotta eat. Right? I got to lift. I have to do those different things until you become your boss. Right, Right. And a lot of guys, they take that for granted. They're just doing it just to do it. But you have to do it with meaning. Right? Instead of letting life live, you. You have to live Life. And then for me, when I tell the younger guys, I'm like, get out there, fail. Do this. So you know how it feels, right. And the NBA helped me. Whether we lost certain games we lost to the Lakers, I don't know, we had three seasons where we went the whole, you know, five game or seven game series and the Lakers go to the championship. Right. So that made me feel a certain way. Right. So you. All right, how do, how do I improve? How do I do this? How do we as a team do that? You have to start thinking that a lot of guys don't think it till they're gone. And when they're gone, you've missed opportunities with inside the, the, that ecosystem or within side that season that you were in the NBA of not shaking this hand or not asking this person for advice. You know, I think that's how you become successful. It's is really trying to not embarrass yourself, but humbling yourself to ask questions.

[Sean]

Right. A lot of people, a lot of pro athletes don't have that mindset.

[Coutinho]

They get nervous, man. A lot of guys, as much as it's as the sport itself is an extroverted scene. Like sport, there's a lot of introverted individuals and a lot of them have imposter syndrome. They may fake it like they think they should be there, but deep down the side, there's still that little kid like, wow, I'm here. And then when someone says something to me, I feel attacked because I too don't believe in me.

[Sean]

Right.

[Coutinho]

But I'm showing it with my chain, with my, my jersey, with my, my, my, my car, with my entourage. But now how do you start believing in yourself? You can't wait to get out of the NBA because then you have a mental crisis. You drop. So you have to start in bnba. Who am I Identify yourself earlier.

[Sean]

Yeah. Because those critics are talking about you guys daily, right?

[Coutinho]

Oh man.

[Sean]

Some people will fold and some people will embrace it.

[Coutinho]

Well, especially if you believe it. Right, Right. You stop believing it. You, you've already talked to yourself about it. So when someone says something to you, you've already thought it to yourself. That's why it hurts you as much.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

But if you yourself, like, you could say whatever you, oh, you know what, you're blue. And I'm like, oh, I think something's wrong with you. I'm not even going to communicate about that. I know I'm not blue. So why am I even interacting? Right. And just helping guys do that and understand that like it's a part of the game of life, right? The. The noise and the. The haters, you want to call them, and all these things just. It's trying to wake you up.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

To be your best self.

[Sean]

Yeah. So Jordan thrived off the noise, but then you got other guys like Ben Simmons. I mean, he was such a talent. And then the noise just. I don't know if it was the noise combined with certain things, but something happened there.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. You know what? Ben Simmons, man, it's a very sticky situation. Was being sensitive as a person. I don't know how he grew up, but however he grew up, it shows his adversity when it comes to so many people coming at him at one time. Right. And listen, everybody's criticized, right? Especially when you put yourself. As soon as you walk out the door, you're getting criticized. Doesn't matter. So in not identifying it and thinking someone's supposed to feel a certain way about you, but, you know, because you hurt your back or because you missed this, let it go, right? You are. You're where you're at right now. It's only a certain amount of individuals that are there. So if that's understanding that, it's like, okay, it's a privilege. This is a privilege to get criticized. It's a Privilege to have 2,20,000 people booing at me. That's a privilege. That's. You don't. Everybody don't get that. Some people don't even know who this person is, but they know who you are. So if they're going to know who you are, make sure it has meaning to it for you, not, you know, for them. I mean, many times, people, oh, Cotino, you suck. I hit a three, we win the game. That makes me feel good. Now I can smile and joke with them, and they're like, oh, man, I've had so many people say that to me, whether I'm in Dallas or Utah or Miami or whatever it is. And then I look over to them afterwards, and they'll get vicious. And I look over to them after, and they're like, God, yeah, that was pretty good. So now it's. It's just. It's. It's. It's friendly barbershop banter that you just. You can make it like that, where they hate you so much. They love you. Right? And that's what I think you should take out of that one with Ben.

[Sean]

Yeah. Reminds me of Draymond Green, too.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, Draymond.

[Sean]

He got some hate.

[Coutinho]

Oh, God. Ah. He's. I mean, listen, for somebody, that's the talent. He doesn't have pop out the screen talent, but he's super smart and his talent is hustle. His talent is hard, like you. That's. That's a talent, right? His talent is communicating and listening, right? Like that's. He understands that every split second means something, right? And a lot of guys think they can take off two or three plays, and sometimes, Sean, two or three plays, even one play kills the game.

[Sean]

Can make the game, right?

[Coutinho]

It can make the make it. You miss, I miss a layup you gave me. That's in the second quarter. I missed that layup. We could have went up 4, but guess what? I miss it. We get deflated. They go back down, they hit a three. Okay? Now they're up. Now guess what? The momentum changes off of that. So it could be just one play where you lose the game. And guess what? You've lost the game by two because of that misplay. So if you don't take every single possession seriously, right? And it's. Is it hard? Yes, it is. But if you don't take it seriously, just like in life, right, that one second, that anger, that picking the wrong person, that whatever it is, it can alter your life so fast. And you can't blame the other individual. You gotta blame yourself for not getting. I was watching the WNBA game and it was so crazy because New York Liberty, new. Was it New York, New York missed a three. Minnesota gets the. The. The rebound. And it was a scuffle. One of the girls falls on the ground. She's getting up slowly. End of the game. Getting up slowly. 40 something seconds to go. Minnesota gets the ball. So the girl who has the ball, she panics a little bit, she tries to throw it across. The girl's still out of bounds, trying to get up slowly. Now if she just popped right up, the girl that had the ball wouldn't have. It wouldn't have been no turnover. But because she got up slow, she panics. All this in the same sequence. Sabrina gets the ball, lays it in. But when she gets the ball and lays it in, the girl that was out of bounds, she pops up really fast and goes and tries to play defense. Well, you should have did that. As soon as you drop, you're on the defensive end. You're not on the offensive end. So on the defensive end, it needs to be quicker. Your thought process needs to be quicker. Now you could have lost the game because of that. So it's just like life in general, right? Split seconds. You have to, like, figure out where you're at. I don't have time when I'm in the ocean to be able to in the ocean be panicky.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

I have to be calm in the ocean. Now if I'm on land, I have a couple of seconds to do that. But not when I'm in the ocean. Right. Especially when it's sharks. But when it's X, Y and Z, I got to figure out what the solution is right away. Right. And a lot of young players and even people just in relationships, they don't think of that. They just think of moment opposed to. Okay, what could happen. Right. And calculating that.

[Sean]

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[Coutinho]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Like more about speed now. And three pointers.

[Coutinho]

It is. Which I think is terrible.

[Sean]

Really.

[Coutinho]

Right? Yeah, man. Because it's so much meat on the bone. Right. Right there. 15, 17ft from the basket. 18ft from the basket. Even 19ft from the basket, 10ft. You look at Jordan, look at Colby. You look at Devin Booker, you look at Steph Curry. You look At. See, people are so enamored by Steph Curry shooting threes, but he shoots pull ups, right? He doesn't just shoot threes or layups. He's fading away, right? He's Kevin Durant. You look at all the greats, they use mid range, right? And I don't know who these people are that, oh, threes or layups. And it's like, isn't a five footer a layup if you're a pro? Isn't a ten footer a layup if you're a pro, Right? So it's not guaranteed that you're going to get an easy layup every single time. But if I'm sitting there stopping and popping at 10, I make six, seven of those. Six of those. That's pretty good. Do you know what I mean? Where now the defense is on their heels and the offense has more creativity, right? It's not just 1 and 2, it's 1, 2 and 3. Right. Where I can score at. So now you as a defense are like, wow, okay, well, I can't funnel them all the way to the basket. I gotta stay a little more disciplined. It changes the game, the concept of the game. And I teach my son, we want to fall in love with the mid range game because that's where all the meat is at. Everybody's either forcing you off the ball, three point line or making you go all the way to the basket. But if you stop and pop, you get like 8, 10 points right there. Just in your sleep. Changes the level of your.

[Sean]

Absolutely. It's a hard shot to defend.

[Coutinho]

It is. I mean, I don't know how many people really can, you know, defend that.

[Sean]

It's almost unguardable if you're tall enough. If you're Dirk's height, you're not blogging.

[Coutinho]

That's jerk. Cole D. Wade. D. Wade wasn't known for, you know, threes, Right? Yeah. Slash to the basket. But guess what? His pull up, his pump fake right. Myself, like, it's just a certain, certain things that you do in the game. The game is so creative. Why limit it?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

And I think it's limited.

[Sean]

Absolutely. So KG had a hot take on the level of talent in the NBA. He said they couldn't. Most of the guys couldn't play in his era, your era. What do you think about that?

[Coutinho]

I can't say he has more experience because he's playing with those guys now. But what I see, I don't think that. Okay, see this? All right, so listen to this. There's two different things. They say that guys now are more talented than we were. Well, you get to travel more, you get to use the ball more, you get to be more creative. So are you more talented or you just get to do more then we were limited in doing certain things. One, two is, we had Shaquille O', Neal, Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, Tony McDyess, Chris Weber, you name it.

[Sean]

Tracy McGrady.

[Coutinho]

I'm talking about Biggs.

[Sean]

Oh, Biggs. Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Down low. We had to dump it down low first. Yao Ming, we had to dump that ball down low first. You couldn't just come down and shoot a three on two, three pointer. You getting subbed out the game. The ball has to go down low first and then we bring it out. So that was another kind of thing with us, right? Where if we could be creative, would we have done that? Probably so, right? The Grand Hills, Tracy McGradies of the world, they were super talented with the ball and tall guys. Now, I wouldn't say that they couldn't play because that's like saying, I don't know, you guys are younger than me, but your parents like, oh, well, I had to walk to school. It's like, so we had a bus. What do you want me to do? We had a bike. I don't know what you want me to do. That don't mean you're tougher than me. It's just that that's the only thing you had. So guys, now if the game was like it was, could a lot of them adjust? I think anyone could adjust if you love it. But it's just that where you are massaged at at the moment, right now, at the moment, they cater more to. Okay, you only have to do this opposed to I need you to do everything over here. And then we have specialists also, right? So Dennis Rodman, we know as a rebounder, right? Dikeme Mutombo, shot blocker, defense, we didn't pay you to score, guys. Now the five man think he could do the same thing as the one. And that's not, that's not how it works. Chris Paul's brain is totally different from Wemby's brain, right? Like Wimby, you may be taller, maybe more, even talented, have potential. But you, you don't have. You may not have the, the Jason Kidd, the Chris Paul, the Mark Price. You don't have the Isaiah Thomas. You don't have that brain to be able to direct and control tempo of a game. Now you making bring the ball up and shoot the ball and rip oh, you do all that stuff. Cool. But to control the game, it's only a certain amount of individuals that can do that. But the coaches let anybody just dribble the ball up and run the play. And it's like, do you understand how to do it and why you're doing it? Right? Because if I run this play in the first quarter, I may be running it. So in the second quarter or third quarter, you can bite. And then I'm going to my second or my third option. But guys don't understand that.

[Sean]

No, Right.

[Coutinho]

They're just playing the game, just to play the game. And it's like, ah, that's what I think KD means. And LeBron even says that, that it's watered down because there is no thinking and creative play anymore. Right? Everything. Gilbert even spoke about this on his situation that guys trainers are teaching. Oh, between the legs, behind the back, snatch this, that, what else? Like, that's all instinctual. I may can't do that in the game. When you play Shaw, how many times you get to catch a shoe? A lot. How many times you get to go behind your back, between your legs, around this round the corner, get a cheeseburger. You don't get to do that a lot. So why am I practicing so much on that one where I can just catch? You dribble left, dribble, right, one dribble pull up, two dribble, pull ups, pass the ball, cut. I'm doing that way more than anything else. And what if I'm with other greats? I don't have time to play with the ball. We need to be efficient Olympics, right? It needs to be efficiency. So to practice those things and not master none of them, to me, waters down your creativity when you're playing. Because now I think that when this guy's in front of me, I have to cross over, go between my legs, behind my back just so I can get open. Opposed to swing, dribble one dribble, pull up, or all the way to the basket, kick out here, go move without the ball. Simple stuff that you can do. Even I don't care what nationality you

[Sean]

are, you're using much less energy too.

[Coutinho]

Exactly.

[Sean]

Like these guys are doing those fancy moves, they're gassed.

[Coutinho]

It's just. For what? For what reason are you doing?

[Sean]

I look good on TV.

[Coutinho]

I saw him from 30ft from the basket. For what?

[Sean]

Klay Thompson's one of the best. He keeps it simple.

[Coutinho]

What, 60, 60 points and 11 dribbles.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Unheard of.

[Sean]

Yeah. And he just catches and shoots. He knows his role. Yeah. Now you got these fours and fives taking threes.

[Coutinho]

Ah, it, it kills me.

[Sean]

You don't like that?

[Coutinho]

Oh, God, it kills.

[Sean]

Karl Anthony Towns pulling up, taking six threes a game.

[Coutinho]

You know what's funny? The. He's very exceptional, but I think he falls in love with his jumper too much. I think he should be. When he understands mismatches, you utilize the mismatch. If the guy is your height or slower foot, you don't have to shoot the three. Take it 12, 15ft from the basket, face up. Now you have an ISO. Now that I'm in the paint now, I probably get a foul on him. Now that guy has sits down and I got the second guy, the third guy, I kill him. He don't even start. He, he lunch meat. Okay. Real big guy that's clogging the paint. I'm going to bring him out to three point line so my guys can get layups. If my guy's going in, he goes in there, I'm out there waiting. It's just how you play the game. Yeah, but guys think that, you know, they, I don't think they think the game like they should. Right. And I think that's, again, going back to it. I think that's what KD means.

[Sean]

I didn't realize how strategic you are. Well, yeah, no. A lot of guys now, I think they, they chase numbers because it's so easy to see the stats these days.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, man.

[Sean]

And they're judged on social media for these stats. So they want to just score and get rebound facts.

[Coutinho]

And, you know, listen, I, I could have. And, and listen, you go on anybody's, any other NBA player, they've already said Itino's so hard to guard. Whether it's Tracy Ray, Gerard, Smith, Coyotes, you name Joe Johnson. I love that my peers respect me. I don't have to score 30. I can score 30 at, at. ease. Scoring points is nothing. That's easy. Right. Every team I was on, I led us to minutes. Every single year.

[Sean]

Really?

[Coutinho]

Captain of every team I was on because I did everything. I did everything. It didn't matter. You want me to rebound, you want me to play D, you want me to shoot threes, you want me to ISO. What do you want me to do? I'm a basketball player. A lot of guys, they pigeonhole themselves. So I'm not worried about the rest of the world saying, oh, my God, you were amazing, or you. No, my peers know how good I was. No one out there, my peers especially When I was playing. Oh, man, he wasn't. I killed him. No, can't say that.

[Sean]

You can't say it.

[Coutinho]

You know what I'm saying? You can't say it because it was. It was when you come to me, like you had to get some sleep last night, right? We. We going to battle. It's going to be like that and it's all respect. A lot of guys here, they're more friendly with each other. That's why I like Ant Edwards. He competes, he'll get mean, angry. Right? Because it's a game within the game. You can't just play the game. You gotta play the game within the game. Right? Okay, I'm at the show'. Em. But guess what? The coach is talking too. And the coach wants to send me baseline every single time on the left side. And then this guy want to hear he wants to send me, right? And I do. Okay, cool. I know what you want to do. I know what you want to do, and I know what you want to do. So every time I meet you, so every time I get to you, I'm going to get you in foul trouble. So when you bring in the next person, this person is not going to do what he can do. I think like that. You're supposed to think Kobe thought like that. You're supposed to think like that.

[Sean]

You're playing chess out here.

[Coutinho]

Exactly. You have to.

[Sean]

When did you see the game start getting more soft? Like where people were friends with each other? Because that wasn't your era, right?

[Coutinho]

No, I think it's more aau.

[Sean]

Okay, right.

[Coutinho]

A lot of guys, aau, they play with each other so much, right. In the summertimes and flying to. To different cities and joining together. And it's. It's not their fault. I'm not saying that. Their fault. I want to be that older guys that go, you hating? No, it's just hard to kill a friend.

[Sean]

It's just hard psychologically, right?

[Coutinho]

Yes, man. The fraternizing itself is hard to kill a friend. You cuss at me and you like this and I say, I'm sorry. I love you, man. It's hard for you to kill me. It's hard for you to do that. You know what I'm saying? So I gotta find something that's like, I don't care if you love me right now, you playing against me. I gotta kill you. And then we can go out to dinner after this. I ain't gonna tell you we're going out to dinner, but after this, I'm gonna take you to dinner. You know what I'm saying? It was like that. So it's. It's Stephen Jackson, Matt Barnes, myself, Kobe, all those different types of guys were killers. We're fighting and it's not personal. It's just that we're going to do our best. And a lot of guys, when you start to compete or push them past their comfort zone, they think you're hating. And it's. No, it's not hating. It's a competitive nature that we have.

[Sean]

Do you believe every player has a weakness?

[Coutinho]

I do, I do. I do. And you'll see it more when they defend it. When someone on social media or. Because every coach, you think about it, right? There's coaches that scout players and their weaknesses, whether it's intellectually, physically, something you could do with the ball or whatever. But you'll see guys the next day, especially if that team beat them on their weakness, try to defend themselves, right? Opposed to saying, gosh, I have four games this week. All three of the four games, these teams forced me to the left and I was like 20 something percent from the field. They don't look at that. I'm looking at that, right? San Antonio spurs, when I will ISO. When I get the ball on the right side, they will funnel me to the baseline on the right side, which means that I would have to pull up on the right side with my left hand. Bruce Bowen's right there. So I had to open up a different way. I had to see. I had to inch more over to the middle so that now I have more space so that I can crab dribble back to the middle. It's just certain things that you have to like. It's not personal. Right. And now I need to figure out that weakness. Thank you so much. Weakness is my friend. Because weakness is going to tell me the truth about me. Fear is going to tell me the truth about me. So I need to become best friends with them because they will always tell me the truth. Comfort will not tell you the truth. Right, right. Being content won't tell you the truth. They're not actually your friends. They're fake friends. They just want you to hang with them. But fear, discomfort, right? All those things, they're your best friends. Keep them close to you because then they'll tell you all. Sean, guess what? Your right hand, bro. Yeah. You like walking up with your right hand, but when you speed it up, the ball's a little out of control. What should we do? We get lower, right? We need to do this right. And you're like, stop criticizing me. You don't tell that to. You don't tell it to fear. Right, right. You. You try to run away from it. No, no, no, stick with them. Let them keep talking to you so you can become better.

[Sean]

So you embrace it. Yeah, that's a lot of people do run away. For sure.

[Coutinho]

You got to, man. It's the best thing in life because it's going to teach you something. Past basketball, past football, past soccer, or you just pass being an actual parent at that time. You'll always be a parent if you're a parent. But then also now, you see, you have to adjust to now. I'm a friend. I'm an older friend. Right. Yeah.

[Sean]

I love how much you apply your sports psychology to real life, too.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sean]

To business and everything.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. Because it's all. It's all the same. It's all the same. You know, the same way you prepare in basketball is the same way you should prepare as a parent. Same way you should appear as business. Right. I think getting up early and then once you understand the flow. Right. What do I mean by the flow? I wake up at five. I go outside, I stand in the grass for 10 minutes. I look at the sun. I, you know, I do my meditation. You know, I lift, I read, I journal, I do my kids. I do that. Now, once it's a flow to it, the machine is running, I can walk away from the machine for a second because a day later, the machine's still going. I'm okay. But if I, if I don't start the machine the right way, the machine will break down early. Now I have to always try to fix the machine. Opposed to me saying, okay, let me do this for 30 days, for 90 days. Create a lifestyle of it. And once I create this lifestyle of it, guess what? I know that it's going to run regardless.

[Sean]

Right.

[Coutinho]

It's okay now. But if, you know, you don't have a finished product or you don't have a product that's moving forward, it's hard to make the business successful. The business is you. Right. And that's how I look at life. I look at. From basketball, it's like, all right, to get better at shooting threes, you gotta shoot and practice a whole bunch, right? You gotta do form shooting. Right. You don't start outside, you start inside. Let's work on our form first. Then we go itch out, right? It's like small habits. Once you do those, you master those. Confidentness. Okay, now here. Confident. Okay, now here. Then you Walk your way out. You don't just start shooting threes. And I think that's what people in society right now, it's like to be rich. They're like, they want to start way out here. No, you got to start with a layup first.

[Sean]

Baby steps.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. Get on first base. You wanna keep hitting home runs. You know, the guys who go for home runs have the most strikeouts, right? So let's get on base first. Right? Once you get on base, now you know how it feels. Now you can read. Okay, Base first, the second, second, the third. Okay, Home. Okay, cool. Now, I know this is a team effort, right? It's a team. What you're doing right now is a team effort. Right. You didn't go and pick these out. Somebody picked them out. Right. Do you have the guys, the cameras? It's like a team effort. Now, what if you had to do all this at one time?

[Sean]

I couldn't do it.

[Coutinho]

Chaos.

[Sean]

Yeah. I couldn't do it.

[Coutinho]

Right. So once we understand that we need each other and especially within whatever form that is, whether it's basketball, whether it's parenting, whether it's gymnastics, whether it's soccer, whether it's business, I need you guys. But now also too, is you think of this, is that this is the movie that I created. So my director, my producer, my actors, I create this, I'm writing this script. So you can't blame anybody else for the movie that you are projecting.

[Sean]

Gotta take accountability.

[Coutinho]

There you go.

[Sean]

Yeah. A lot of victim mentality out here.

[Coutinho]

Right? Right, Right. Yeah, yeah. So I, you know, when I teach people, man, it's just about looking within oneself and trying to understand how do we make it better. Right? Because everybody's going through a. A tough time in life, whether their father or their mother or this or that. Childhood traumas. I'm really big on that. And I was. I was blessed to have four parents. So not saying that my parents were like squeaky clean, but I got a lot of love from all four of them.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Four parents. Yeah. I know you. You had to deal with some childhood trauma though, too.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, man. You're crazy, man. Living in Philadelphia, you know, you go through things and again, I. Listen, I haven't been around everyone in the world, but I do know that God, the universe, whatever you want to call the Creator, gives you signs, samples of what to do and what not to do. And if you can't read those, it will keep repeating itself. 12 years old at a party, house party. 12, 13, 14 year olds, maybe 15 year olds basement, house, party, Gun in my mouth. Now, we come outside after the party because people are fighting. I'm not fighting, but there's people who are fighting. I guess something happened where the people that were, they got beat up, left. They brought back older kids. And us seeing that now we're all outside. And in Philadelphia, you know, you sit outside on the streets and have fun in your block, whatever guys are coming up now. They're coming up, brass knuckles, guns, the whole thing. I try to run and I run up on my grandmom's porch and the guy gets over the fence with me and I'm trying to get through the door. I couldn't get through the door. The door was locked. I turn around, this brass knuckles into the gun. He puts the gun in my mouth and he's asking me, you know, where's the other guy? The guy who started the whole thing? I didn't really know the guy. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. Please, please, please. Now, I say this now because I'm comfortable in my, my. My mishaps in life, which is fine, right? Because I learned from them. I had these Astro Wash jeans on and a sweatshirt on. And after he, you know, gun in my mouth, I should kill you, I should blow your head off, blah, blah, I better ever see you in the parties again, blah, blah, all this other stuff. Now I'm 12 years old. He don't know that because I'm tall, right? And don't even know who this person is to this day. So he leaves. And my just so happened, my aunt opens the door and she's like, what's the matter? And I'm like, shaking, right? And my uncle comes and he goes, runs down the street after the guy and all the ruckus that's going on. And my aunt, she sees, and I urinated on myself, on my leg, and I didn't even feel it. And I said to myself, this is not being, like, tough, which I'm. I can, I can fight. My dad taught my. My siblings and I how to fight when we were young, right? I'm a bully's bully. I don't like bullying. I've always been protecting other people when it comes to that. No one's never bullied me. But for me, that took me to another level of split second. Now at 12 years old, I didn't understand it, but it took me to a level of like, your life can change in two seconds, so you gotta watch what you're doing now. I didn't understand it or know it at the time. But things kept happening. Not crazy, but it kept happening to me where it's like, yeah, don't go there. Get out that car. I had another situation. I'm in a car with one of my friends at the time. He was a drug dealer guy. And again, I didn't notice. I thought he just supported basketball on the streets of Philadelphia. Right? We're together from 12:00pm all up until 7:00 clock together, hanging in the park, going get cheesesteaks, messing around all around the city, just everything cool, dude. My guy, he leaves me, I go to go to my game, he leaves, he has to go do something. Soon as he leaves me, people kidnap him. Whoa, kidnap him, Kidnap him. And he tried to get away and they killed him. Now what's crazy is I think about it like, wow, this is actually. This is a different life. Reason why is because they were with them, with us the whole time.

[Sean]

Oh, they were following you, watching us the whole time.

[Coutinho]

And the reason why they didn't do that is because I was a ball player.

[Sean]

Whoa.

[Coutinho]

Because I'm not in that world.

[Sean]

They recognized you back then.

[Coutinho]

That's the code. No, no, they play ball. Oh, no, that's the mom. Oh, that's a kid. There's no codes now, right? To where now again, I'm 17, 18. I'm 18 years old. I'm thinking then like, wow, that was another blessing. All right, you need to get it together because now my brother is serving three lifetimes. Damn right. So my dad's a two striker. My uncle was 25 years. So that was our family. Good people. But it's just situations, whatever. So again, I'm not saying it to myself at that time, but I look back and was like, they kept giving you different messages. The universe of what to do and what not to do. The girls, you pick, okay, this is going to happen. This is right. This is this, this is this. This is this. So there was different traumatic situations that happened that I learned from, accepted and understood that. Like that I love it because it made me who I am. Because if it never. If those things never happen, would you have that awareness? Right. Would you be who you are as a person? Right. And I don't think anyone can do that. Right. That, you know, people say, oh, if I had money, I would do this. It's like, yeah, okay, right?

[Sean]

Yeah. It's not the answer.

[Coutinho]

That's not how it works.

[Sean]

No amount of money. Yeah, you have a billion dollars. It wouldn't help it.

[Coutinho]

No, man, that doesn't people think that money or a child fixes or this job, if I just get this job, I'll be my best. It's like, that's not how this one works. That's not how it works. Right. You got to figure out who you are first before he gives you this. And he may give it to you so you can lose it, then so you can reboot yourself. But sometimes the reason why you don't have it is because you're not who you are. Absolutely.

[Sean]

Yeah. Healing and learning from that trauma is important. I learned that from Billy Carson.

[Coutinho]

Yeah, Billy's my guy.

[Sean]

Yeah. How'd you get close with them?

[Coutinho]

Yeah, man. So I started reaching out to Billy some years back, and then I went on this podcast because we think alike, right? Of course he's way smarter, you know, but it was super interesting the way he thought, right? And talking about all the things you speak about from Anunnakis and tablets and, you know, Egypt, and I'm just, I'm a student of life. I love learning, right? I, I, I think the older I get, the more I'm attracted to people who are smart, right? And that's the humbleness of me of being like, okay, you know what? You don't know everything. I've never, I never thought I knew everything. But just understanding that, wow, that's something new. DJs taught me. And now I'm going down this rabbit hole learning more about that, and then that's going to take me to this, and it's going to take me to this, right? So it's like the game of basketball, right? Once you learn one move, you're like, I'll be creative in this one. I could do this and this and this. That's the same thing with Billy. Billy loves basketball, right? He loves basketball. He's a coach. He plays the game.

[Sean]

He's got a jumper, too.

[Coutinho]

Does he?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Does he?

[Sean]

Yeah. Shoot.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. I love it. And he always supports me when I play in the big three. Billy will come. But, you know, I just, I love Billy because he's, you know, he cares, man. He cares about, like, information. And then he, you can see it within, how he retains it that he studies it well. Right? And I haven't seen anybody in years debunk that, right? They just either don't say anything at all or they listen to him. Right? Because it's hard to argue something like that, right? And then don't have proof or you can listen. Facts don't have emotions. You can argue all you want, but If. Unless. Now if you have over here, you can debunk or disprove. Okay, cool. Now it's a debate. But if you just being a tyrant, right. You're just wanting to just debate or argue. Yeah, I'm not really. Well, tell me why it's not blue.

[Sean]

Right.

[Coutinho]

Tell me why it's not red. Tell me why it's not this. Tell me why it's not the out. Now we can have a logical conversation. Right. It's more rational. But if you can't tell me why, you're just mad that I said it. You don't get to decide who tells you the truth. The truth is the truth.

[Sean]

Yeah. That's not productive at that point.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. Right.

[Sean]

There's people just hating on you.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. It's all good.

[Sean]

Yeah, that's just more of a. That's more of a insecurity for that person.

[Coutinho]

Right.

[Sean]

You know?

[Coutinho]

Right.

[Sean]

Lashing out like that.

[Coutinho]

Facts.

[Sean]

Yeah. I don't even respond to that.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. I was like, I'm cool on you. Yeah. That's my point. There's no me. There's no reason for me to argue with you anymore because I do a lot of my platform, I do, like I said, the mentor stuff, but I. Being a single father and going through custody battles or whatever it is, I kind of want to bring it to the forefront of men struggling to be around their kids or that it's okay for men to reach out for help and whatever it is in life. Right. Because it's really hard for us as men. And I'm not trying to be a victim or complaining, but it is facts.

[Sean]

Right.

[Coutinho]

It's really hard for men out there because it's like a war against us. Not just black men, men in general. Right. It's this big war of toxic masculinity, which is absurd. I hate that phrase. I hate that phrase. But you know, for me, when I can bring it to light, the sneakiness that goes on from the opposite side or whatever it is, I get a lot of that hate. Who hurts you? Oh, your mother did this? It's that. It's like. Nah, that's actually not it. What's it is the factual things that these. This is what happens to men on a regular basis. A lot of men who kids commit suicide because they can't be around their children. This happens. That happens. The government this, this, that whatever. Right. The system, all these different things play a part within that man's mental health issue. And if you don't have that, you know that 1-800-number or that friend of those friends to be able to say, yo, listen, dog, I just need to dump something on you right now because I'm. I'm going through it, okay? Come on, bro, let's talk about this. You know what I'm saying? And a lot of guys don't have that. And now it's starting to get bigger. And where the platform of reaching out as a man, like two men right here talking, reaching out is more acceptable, right? It's not 10 years ago. Oh, God, no.

[Sean]

We would get laughed at, made fun of.

[Coutinho]

You can't. Like, as soon as you start, you try to say a little bit of something, it's quick to reverse it or gaslight us. It's the craziest thing. And again, I don't even think. And I'm not saying all women, please, though, but I don't even think they do it consciously. It's like the subconscious of. And you dig into. Like, how were you with your father? Did you respect and love your father? Was he the head of the household or was it your mother's voice? The head of the household, Right. Because the man could pay the bills, but the mom has all the voice. I've been around people like that. The mom makes all the rules.

[Sean]

I've seen a lot of families like that.

[Coutinho]

We're up Dilson me being a single father, I go to the doctor's appointments, and it was early on where the doctor will be looking at the mother and not me. And that's like this, like, shaking my hand and looking away. It's like, no, chick, man, look at me. The same thing. I'm paying the dentist, I'm paying. So look at me. I'm not slow, right? Like, that was disrespectful early on. But instead of me getting angry, like, doc, clear, look at me, talk to me. Okay? That's what it is. Okay. Oh, you know. All right. You know I'm you, right? Okay. So would you want your wife talk to this person and disregard me? Okay, well, then show me that respect. That's how this works, right? I can retain information. I'm a double major. And even though I wasn't a double major, your words are coming out of your mouth for English. I speak English. Guess what? This works.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Right? If you speak Armenian, if you speak this, you speak that, you speak Russian. Now I need an interpreter. But still, look me in my face when you speak to me, right? And a lot of guys, they don't have that comfort of saying, I'm a man, right? I'm a man, I'm aggressive, I'm this, I'm that, and I'm. Don't fault me for it, right? Let me be who I am. I'll let you be who you are. But like my daughter, I have an 11 year old daughter and I have to speak to my daughter sometimes. Like, you know, listen, I don't. I love you to death. Cut the tears out. The tears don't do nothing. Get that out of here. Did you break something? Is it just your feelings? Okay, that's going to leave, right? But facts don't have feelings, facts don't have emotions. We're not doing that. We can get away from that. Let's get to the root of the problem. And that's what the problem is with us in America especially, and I say around the world, but especially us. Whereas, though the father's out of the system, right, as soon as he reprimand, as soon as he's strong, as soon as he builds confidence in the child's side, everybody deserves a trophy and it's okay, oh, it's your birthday, but I got to get everybody else presents. Where in the world is that at? What are we doing here? So everybody's accepting everything over. No, what are we doing? You're building weak individuals. You have a birthday party. It's your birthday, that's yours. That's your day. Now, if we have a birthday on the same day, then we may celebrate together.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

But I watch. It's like, oh, you get a present. You get a present. Oh, the doctor talking to this person. Oh, well, you know, it's like you marry a man that's incompetent. Oh, well, you know, he's not going to do this and he's not why you marry him, what you marry him for, right?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

And when you have that disrespect to the man that you. And then you envision a strong man, she, the strong working businessman, he not going for none of that. This is what I said do. That's it. Okay. I may negotiate with you on something else, but this is not a negotiation. This is what it is for the whole family, period. Done. That's it. You can call me whatever dictator you call me whatever you want to call me, as long as you call me a man. That's it.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

I don't care what else you want to call me. It's all right.

[Sean]

A lot of men are feeling kind of shamed to be a man these days.

[Coutinho]

It seems like, yeah, man. Because there's so much backlash. It's like the. What do you call it? Politically. Politically correct.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Right. As soon as you say something, it's like you get cancel.

[Sean]

I think cancel culture peaked like, a few years ago.

[Coutinho]

Right, right. It's. It's getting a lot better. But again, too, is. It's. It's as much as it is getting better. You still worked on a behavior, and then, like, subconsciously, you're still doing that. So you're kind of like holding within. Comedians, they can't say certain stuff. Right, right. Fathers can't do this. You know, this is that. It's like. Ah, come on, man.

[Sean]

It's like you're walking on eggshells. Yeah.

[Coutinho]

Like, it's a book.

[Sean]

Yeah, there's a book about that.

[Coutinho]

No, seriously. It's about borderline personality disorder people, and a lot of women are borderline personality disorders. And then they have children. BPDs, and they have children, and it's called Don't Walk on Eggshells. It's a great book. And I had to read this book 17, 18 years ago because of situation that I was in. And you know it. If you read the book, it reminds you this to everybody. It reminds you of. You ever watch Disney movies?

[Sean]

I like the older ones.

[Coutinho]

And then you see the Disney movies. How happy are the mothers? The mothers? No, they're all evil. Not saying moms are evil. I swear to God, I love moms. Mom, I love you. My stepmom passed away. I love you so much. She's one of my best friends. Sadie Kelly. I love y'. All. I love y'. All. But it's. If you think about it, like, I'm only writing and showing something that actually is. I believe that, like, you're not just gonna make that up. Cinderella, like, any. Anything you tangled, anything you name, anything you name. And rarely do you see the dad. You rarely see the dad in anything. And then sometimes, guess what? The king daddy's really happy. He's really cool. You know what I mean? It's just the weirdest thing, man. And it. It talks about a lot of, you know, those type of things where they're hurting themselves or manipulating or sabotaging or, you know, all these different things in life. And we have to really pay attention to that and more so come together as opposed to fighting against each other. Because this is only man and woman that I know of. Right. So you got to come together and figure out how we can work together.

[Sean]

Yeah. We started off right before we filmed how you cut all negativity out of your life.

[Coutinho]

Yeah. I just. To Live longer, man. As soon as soon as things start, listen. And it comes with age, Right. As soon as I feel as though. Because I'm a welcome knowledge. But when I see people that are stuck on something that is not humane, it's not human. I'm done trying to prove to you. I'm just getting you away from me now. It's not. Oh, marriage is. We should argue. No, the hell we should not. I don't argue with my best friend. If you're supposed to be one of them, why am I arguing with you all the time about something that means that you think you're better than me, or you think your decisions are better than mine, or you think you're smarter than me. No, it shouldn't be that. Sometimes where's the compromise at? So for me, I leave it alone. As soon as I. As soon as I see it, I'm like, oh, yeah, no, think about this though. Sure. If you lactose intolerant, you're gonna drink the milk.

[Sean]

Nah.

[Coutinho]

Okay, I see them. Is that, Is that milk in that? Is it? Nope, it's milking it. Oh, I'm cool. I don't want it because I already know what's gonna happen. Yeah, that's how you should be with people.

[Sean]

Can't change people's minds.

[Coutinho]

That's peanut allergy. I have peanut allergy. There's no peanuts. Yeah, I don't want no peanuts, man. I'm cool. I mean, my face gonna blow up. I get crazy, you know what I'm saying? I need to be by a toilet. Yeah, stuff like that. I don't want it.

[Sean]

The energy rubs off on you, man.

[Coutinho]

It does, it does. And like I said before early on, that one Split choice dictates 20 years. Yeah, right. So you gotta be really careful.

[Sean]

Gotta be. Sometimes the energy is your own family, you know?

[Coutinho]

Yeah, the energy is the family. Because guess what you've learned, right? Your children. You can't teach your children. You cannot teach your children what you know to be. Because what you know to be change. Just like it changed for your parents. So you just got to start to now guess when you have children, you got to learn now more new. Now I gotta be acceptable of certain things, right? So what my cousins called me because he knows I'm a life coach. And he says, cuz I need help. You know, we talking and as he said about his kid's mom, and he says about the his parents. And I said, first of all, I already know how he feels about his parents. I said, you, you need to get the baby girl away from your parents. That's the first thing. Save a little bit of money. Get an individual that's neutral to watch your daughter until you come home, but get him away. Because all they're doing is teaching. They don't know nothing new. So they teaching the baby the thing that they taught you, and that's why you are how you are. So to give her a chance, get her away from them. You know what I'm saying?

[Sean]

That's tough to accept for something.

[Coutinho]

Oh, yeah, because we're tribal, right? We're tribal and we're attached by emotion. Right. So at the end of the day, you got to figure out what tribe do I want to be a part of. Right. Because dad is the chief and then mom is whatever it is. Where do you fit at? You're going to start your own tribe. Now, they can come over, but this is my rules. These your rules. These mine. Right. So you can come over if you want to. Yeah. You can put your foot on the couch. Yeah. You can smoke your cigar in the patio. So you couldn't do that in the tribe. You could do that in mine. Yeah. I let my kids play up to 11 now. Well, I don't let them say about, I don't want to eat gluten. That's your tribe, and that's okay. They had a chance. They tried. But you don't get to. God gives you. You playing poker. I'm not a poker player, but you playing poker. He gives you. Give you your cards, then you get. Give you a card. You have different cards for a reason. Play that hand. But then you got parents go say, oh, no, no, put that one out. No, no, no. You stay with your own cards and you put yours out. Let me put mine out. I may win a lottery. You sit there, played the lottery for 30 years, you ain't win it. I made one on my first try. I don't want to hear nothing what you talk about when it comes to this. Let me try. I need to make the mistakes so I can grow. And a lot of people in your environment that you grew up with do not evolve. And it's okay if you white, he black, Asian, Spanish, whatever it is. And I'm black. I got a black family. Guess what? The Asian family taught me more. The white family may taught me more, which happened to me. Okay, do that means they're better than. No, just. That's what I'm. I've grown more than my family because the Asian family, the white family, the white family take trips The Asian family do this. They take their shoes off. They do this. They eat this food. They do this. They do. Okay, I want to take that, implement it into my tribe, because I like this. They hug and kiss every day. I liked it while we did that. My family. That's why I said, the men in my family, we hug and kiss every single day. My boys and my daughter, we hug and kiss every single day. Care what. That's our rule. I took that from my. My stepfather. My stepfather was raised military, Right. He was in the Marines. His father like that. Men kiss, hug, look at each other, talk to each other, be around each other. Right. Be a man. A lot of people don't know how to be it. A lot of people. A lot of women don't even know how to be a wife. Don't even be a woman, let alone a wife. Yeah, they're just a female. You know what I'm saying? And that's. That's the problem with people is you don't know. I can't be in the basketball game with a football trying to score. And a lot of people want to play that sport and don't understand I'm being metaphoric and play that sport and don't understand. Exactly. This ain't the sport for you. First of all, take the football, Put it on the field. Now. If you want to play basketball, you need a basketball. If you want to be a woman, you'd be raised by a woman. One be a man, you'd be raised by a man. If you want a good family, now go to where good families are and look at them. That's how you copy. But you can't copy what you. I've never been around good man or a good woman or a good family. It's hard for me to do it. That white family, that Spanish family, that Asian family, okay, they got good family. This black family in Sissy, they have really good family. I'm gonna be around them because that's what I want. But a lot of people, they copy the wrong people.

[Sean]

Oh, yeah, there's people you grew up with in Philly that are probably still there.

[Coutinho]

Oh, they won't leave.

[Sean]

There's no growth with that.

[Coutinho]

Won't leave. I don't see how you grow from that.

[Sean]

Yeah, perspective is important. That's why I have on a lot of different people on the show, because I learned a little bit from everyone that I want to apply to my.

[Coutinho]

That's what I loved about. That's what I loved about your platform is that you have so Many different people. Because everybody has a message, right? Everybody has a message. And I, I love, I love people more than people love themselves. Because I understand the potential of people, right? I, I understand that once you get out of that comfort zone, that life is so amazing for you as an individual. Not even as a father, as a mother, as a. Just as an individual, just learning, just loving, just hugging, just understanding that life is good, right? As long as you make whatever you make it right. And if you focus on bad stuff, bad things gonna happen. They focus on good stuff, good things happen. That's the way of the land. The law. The law is like that. It's not me. It's law of attraction.

[Sean]

Absolutely. I used to be really pessimistic in my early years and not much good happened to me.

[Coutinho]

I don't know what changed you, but you where you at now?

[Sean]

A couple near death experiences and the right mentorship and it need.

[Coutinho]

And you needed. The funny thing is you needed it to wake you up out of the body that you were in. Because see, people think that your birthday or when you die that like that's what. No, no, you. Every seventh time you go to sleep, you're not guaranteed to wake up. So the next day you're born again, the next day you're born again, tomorrow you can be born again if you're lucky. That's how it works, right? So, okay, if I learn but you yesterday, you knew some, do you. You may forget things you know, but you can always learn things you don't, right? So at the end of the day when I'm sitting here like, okay, I didn't know this yesterday, but I know it today. I'm that much smarter now. I may have forgot it, but I still know it. I know of it. Oh, you got to refresh my memory. But then there's so many things I don't know that's interesting to me, right? So now, okay, boom. Okay. So many things that we don't know that, that we forgot, but there's so many things that we don't know that's ahead of us. Damn. Okay, I want to learn more of that. And that's what I see in you, where you have so many different people. Because it's not so much as the person is the experience that they had and how they tell their story. You can have 10,000 books. When it comes to motivational speaking, everybody has their own different way of how they want to motivate somebody. That's 10,000 people, 10,000 experiences. They may have some similarities all Different?

[Sean]

Yep.

[Coutinho]

All different. 5,000 NBA players played in the NBA. Some people play similar, but no one played exactly alike.

[Sean]

That's true.

[Coutinho]

It's just not how it works. Right. You learn something from every single person if you study, if you look, you pay attention. Right? And listening, communicating, their skills. Their skills, you use them in marriages, relationships, sports, whatever it is. Listening and communicating is a skill. Right. The more you listen, the better you communicate. Better communicate better results, you get. Simple.

[Sean]

Simple enough.

[Coutinho]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Tina, we'll end it there, man. Any companies and products you want to promote here before we wrap up?

[Coutinho]

Yes. So I'm working right now with Blue Scorpion Venom. It's a. It's. It's a liquid form. It's a clear bottle. It's amazing. It's for pain and inflammation relief.

[Sean]

We.

[Coutinho]

We're coming out now. I'm gonna actually send you guys some, but I'm going to start putting it on my platform soon to be able to. For fans or whoever wants to purchase our product. But I'm really excited about it because I'm. I'm really in tune with my body. Right. And then I'm starting a supplement company with the things that I take for myself and to be able to help not only do retired athletes, but just regular people in general. Right. So I look forward to the supplements that I'm bringing out along with the Blue Scorpion Venom.

[Sean]

Love it. We'll link below. Thanks for coming off. That was fun.

[Coutinho]

Appreciate you.

[Sean]

Thanks for watching, guys. Check out the links below. See you next time. Thanks for watching to the end, guys. Please comment below your thoughts on the episode if you agree. If you disagree, I'd love to hear it. I read every single comment. Means a lot to me. Thank you so much.