Digital Social Hour: The Ugly Truth About Megachurches: Why They're Failing | Ryan Miller DSH #819

Release Date: October 22, 2024
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Ryan Miller

Introduction

In episode #819 of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly delves into the intricate dynamics of modern megachurches with guest Ryan Miller. Ryan, known as the "Dude with Good News," brings a wealth of personal stories, business insights, and a critical perspective on the evolving landscape of faith-based communities. This episode unpacks why megachurches, once beacons of spiritual guidance and community support, are now facing significant challenges.

Ryan Miller’s Personal Journey

Background and Family Dynamics
Ryan opens up about his highly successful family background, highlighting the immense pressure and expectations he faced growing up. With 18 brothers and cousins, many holding prestigious academic and professional positions, Ryan felt the weight of his family's achievements.

Ryan Miller [01:33]: “I grew up in a very hyper successful family. Everyone has a PhD in my generation of like 18 brothers and cousins except me.”

This environment led Ryan to grapple with questions about his own worth and identity, contributing to a masculinity crisis and deep-seated trauma from a young age.

Struggles with Identity and Trauma
Ryan discusses the significant impact of his brother coming out as gay during high school, leading to bullying and a fractured sense of self. This experience forced him to confront his own identity issues and struggle with expressing himself openly.

Ryan Miller [03:00]: “I think from a young age, wondering. I think the question that was on my mind, maybe the two questions was, what am I worth? And what is a man?”

Overcoming Trauma through Therapy and Relationships
Through various therapeutic methods, including EMDR and talk therapy, Ryan began to address his trauma. He emphasizes the importance of authentic relationships in his healing process, particularly his relationship with his fiancée and later his reconciliation with his estranged father.

Ryan Miller [06:14]: “So that was major. But, yeah, it was tough, dude. That childhood stuff, really, it stays with you, you know what I mean?”

From Ministry to Filmmaking

Pursuit of Authenticity in Ministry
Ryan recounts his transition from ministry to filmmaking, driven by a desire to reach out to marginalized youth. His project, Chasing Wild, aimed to pair troubled boys with wild mustangs as a form of equine-assisted therapy. However, despite initial enthusiasm and support, the project faced significant setbacks due to internal struggles and financial pressures.

Ryan Miller [14:40]: “The only thing that's valuable in this life is to love God deeply and to walk with him daily to fear God. That's it.”

Challenges with the Hollywood System
Ryan's journey highlights the clash between his authentic vision and the profit-driven Hollywood system. Despite raising substantial funds and attracting industry attention, divine interventions led him to abandon the project, prompting a profound reassessment of his values and goals.

Ryan Miller [20:40]: “...everything that I'd been going after for so many years, it was like, now I'm the story of epic failure.”

Critique of Megachurches

Structural Flaws and Capitalistic Pressures
Ryan criticizes the structural foundations of modern megachurches, arguing that their focus on numbers and spectacle compromises the genuine community and support they are meant to provide. He believes that the capitalist and individualistic culture has infiltrated the church, leading to a prioritization of growth metrics over spiritual and communal depth.

Ryan Miller [27:44]: “I think the whole structure of the church is broken. I don't think when I look at modern Western churches, I see what I find in the Bible.”

Decline in Authenticity and Community Engagement
According to Ryan, the allure of flashy productions and charismatic leaders has overshadowed the church's role as a sanctuary for the broken and needy. He emphasizes a return to the biblical model of small, intimate communities that foster genuine relationships and communal care.

Ryan Miller [28:56]: “...we have a generation of people where the currency is authenticity. ...they want the authentic...done. Because the currency is now authenticity.”

Generational Shifts and the Pursuit of Authenticity

Changing Aspirations Among Youth
Ryan highlights a worrying trend among young people, noting a shift from traditional aspirations to the pursuit of fame and online influence. He cites a study where 8 out of 10 ten-year-olds expressed a desire to become influencers, reflecting a fragile and unsustainable model of self-worth.

Ryan Miller [09:17]: “8 out of 10, 10 year olds said they want to be an influencer. Which is really scary.”

Impact of Social Media and Mental Health
The episode explores how social media perpetuates cyberbullying and mental health issues, exacerbating feelings of isolation despite the hyper-connected digital landscape. The relentless chase for validation through likes and comments is portrayed as a hollow substitute for authentic human connection.

Ryan Miller [09:34]: “It's a fabricated sense of intimacy. And to be able to overcome that, it takes someone who has really processed through a lot of stuff.”

Reimagining the Church’s Role

Authentic Community over Spectacle
Ryan advocates for churches to embrace a more authentic, community-focused approach rather than striving for grandeur and mass appeal. He suggests that small group models, akin to house churches, can better fulfill the church's mission of caring for the poor and fostering genuine relationships.

Ryan Miller [31:03]: “If you took churches out of the world right now, the world, it would break. Poverty would just skyrocket.”

Biblical Foundations and Servant Leadership
Drawing from biblical teachings, Ryan emphasizes the importance of meekness and servant leadership. He connects the concept of taming a wild mustang with the biblical narrative of God’s pursuit of humanity, advocating for churches to lead with humility and genuine care rather than dominance and spectacle.

Ryan Miller [25:46]: “When you look at the definition and we look at how you actually tame a wild mustang... that's God's, that's the whole Bible.”

Personal Reflections and Closing Thoughts

Overcoming Addiction and Embracing Meekness
Ryan shares his personal battle with pornography addiction, linking it to unresolved trauma and a search for self-worth. Through spiritual practices and therapy, he found healing by addressing the root causes of his addiction and embracing meekness as a strength rather than a weakness.

Ryan Miller [38:41]: “I've looked at porn in the last year. While I was married with three children and I had to confess to my wife... I'm not ashamed of it because I have found not religion. I found a relationship with Jesus.”

Call to Action for Authentic Faith Communities
Concluding the episode, Ryan urges faith communities to prioritize authentic relationships and genuine support over numerical growth and superficial engagement. He envisions a church that acts as a healing sanctuary for the broken, aligning closely with Jesus’s teachings on compassion and humility.

Ryan Miller [27:56]: “What Jesus is saying is, I'm the great physician, and I haven't come for the healthy. I've come for the sick. I've come for the mustangs. I've come for the outcasts.”

Conclusion

Sean Kelly and Ryan Miller engage in a profound discussion that challenges the status quo of megachurches and modern faith communities. By intertwining Ryan’s personal struggles with broader critiques of institutional religion, the episode offers insightful perspectives on the necessity of authenticity, genuine community, and servant leadership in fostering meaningful spiritual growth. For listeners seeking a deeper understanding of the current state of megachurches and the evolving needs of younger generations, this episode provides both thoughtful critique and hopeful solutions.

Notable Quotes:

• Ryan Miller [00:00]: “If you took churches out of the world right now, the world, it would break. Poverty would just skyrocket.”

• Ryan Miller [09:17]: “8 out of 10, 10 year olds said they want to be an influencer. Which is really scary.”

• Ryan Miller [27:44]: “I think the whole structure of the church is broken. I don't think when I look at modern Western churches, I see what I find in the Bible.”

• Ryan Miller [38:41]: “I've looked at porn in the last year... I'm not ashamed of it because I have found not religion. I found a relationship with Jesus.”

Stay Connected

For more insights and updates from Ryan Miller, follow him on social media at Ryan_Underscore_Miller and visit his mental health platform at sharethestruggle.org.

This summary captures the essence of the conversation between Sean Kelly and Ryan Miller, highlighting key discussions, personal anecdotes, and critical insights into the challenges facing megachurches today.