Unlock the mysteries of sacred sexuality in this captivating episode of the Digital Social Hour with Sean Kelly! 🌟 Join us as we delve into the untold power of sacred sexuality explained by tantric expert Jennelle Gordon. Discover why conscious sexuali
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Sean
There seems to be a lot of shame around sex in general about, like, speaking on it with family members or friends.
Janelle Gordon
Why is it okay that we see these hot models, these of girls, these twerkers online everywhere? Like, we see that everywhere. Sometimes doing very lewd things. But then when someone like myself comes on and talks about conscious sexuality and sacred sexuality, we don't want that getting out there. I've been banned on every platform. Foreign.
Sean
Guys, Janelle Gordon here, tantric sex expert, first person I've had on in that industry. So thanks for coming on.
Janelle Gordon
So happy to be here. We got some juice to get into.
Sean
Right, to get educated on this topic. Because you don't really.
Janelle Gordon
Sex educated, right?
Sean
Yeah. You don't hear about this really.
Janelle Gordon
It's very niche. Yeah. Which has been problematic for me on social. But I'm learning.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
Learning how to kind of go around.
Sean
So what drove you into this? Did you have a sex life that you weren't happy with or.
Janelle Gordon
It was much deeper than that. I think if you look at anyone today who's been, you know, in some kind of interesting career, they're like yoga or spirituality. There's always some pain or trauma kind of attached. So for me, it was a very, like, intense, you know, traumatic life. And I don't like to go into details of it, but I had some, you know, dissociation problems with my sexuality and a lot of shame. I felt like if I had sex before I was married, I was going to hell. And if I, you know, all the things that the dogma has been preached to most people who grew up in a religion or faith based. And we feel that. And your body keeps score, your body remembers. So I wanted to heal and then I wanted to feel embodied. And I think that word is interesting. Like I wanted to feel deeply connected to every aspect of my body and my sexuality and to be able to connect with someone else on that level. And I know there's a lot of people out there that share that sentiment, you know, tons.
Sean
There seems to be a lot of shame around sex in general about, like speaking on it with family members or.
Janelle Gordon
Friends just speaking on it in general. Like, tell me, like, answer this question, Sean. You're on social everywhere. Like, why is it okay that we see these hot models, these of girls, these twerkers online everywhere? Like, we see that everywhere, sometimes doing very lewd things, lascivious things, and very scantily clad. But then when someone like myself comes on and talks about conscious sexuality and sacred sexuality, we don't want that getting out there. So we've banned me on. You know, I'm like Andrew Tate. Like, I've been. I've been banned on every platform. This is my sixth account I was texting you on. Right.
Sean
Serious?
Janelle Gordon
Yes.
Sean
That's crazy.
Janelle Gordon
So when you say there's shame, the shame is so deep at a subconscious level, we can't allow something that is so powerful to be so connected and so embodied. They won't allow that. And they is. Whoever you think they are, they don't want that.
Sean
Right. So conscious sexuality, what is that?
Janelle Gordon
Conscious sexuality is what you just. What you. Basically, what you stated, being able to be in your body. And I think that's a huge thing because men dissociate from sex, too. A lot of times they're so fixated on how do I last long enough. Right. How do I, like, not go over, how do I pleasure her? Or. A lot of times men are stressed, you know, heart attacks, things like that. There's a lot on their plate. So men and women both dissociate. So I think being in your body, being fully connected to your body, to your breath, being aware that there's someone next to you. A lot of times in sex today, we're using each other's bodies just to masturbate. We don't even know the person's in the room with us, but we're doing something together and someone finishes. And sadly for women, they don't. So conscious sexuality is, you know, bringing the God, the Shiva, the divine, whatever it is you subscribe to into sex. And I know a lot of people don't like that because they think sex and God should be separate. And I say, no, you can use sex to go beyond sex to get to God.
Sean
Wow, that is interesting. Right, so how does that work?
Janelle Gordon
That's a concept. That's tantra. So we don't have enough time for that. But I can tell you, the long and short of it is it's. It's about destigmatizing the shame around it, owning that your body was created by God and God wants you to experience pleasure because he wouldn't have made you with all the anatomy you had if he didn't want you to experience pleasure. Right. And that in that moment of pleasure, like, everyone go back to their last climax experience, mostly men. We'll just touch on that shortly. But in that moment, you are so in a state of bliss. You're in a state of union, you're in a state of oneness. You don't even know your name. If I asked you in that moment, in that split second. And that's Shiva. That's godlike consciousness.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
And so that's what. As tantrix, we. We want that. We want the divine masculine, the divine feminine to come together in that moment of climax. Together we can create, we can manifest, we can do whatever we want. We can play with the energy powerful.
Sean
And 70% of women don't experience that climax. Right?
Janelle Gordon
70% of. Well, here's. Let me break this down a little bit more specific. 70% of women are only experiencing clitoral. Can I say that?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
Or, you know, we'll find out. Clit. They're only experiencing a climax through that model, that modality only. So. And you might say, well, that's not so bad. But it is. And I'll explain why the clitoris experience, if you will. I don't know if I can say that, but that or. Or that climax. I'm choosing my words here, y'all. I'm. I'm trying to help the editors. That Climax is the McDonald's of climax for women. So it's the fast food. It's up and down. It's very similar to a masculine climax. Your climax only lasting a few seconds. When women actually do experience them, theirs are longer, like almost double. And so when women experience like that superficial, we call them explosive climaxes from the clitoris. It's cheap. It's like there and then gone. And so if you ever have been with a woman, which I'm sure a lot of you have, and you've noticed after she's had like that clitoral stimulation and climax, it was like she was craving more. She wanted to go more. Even if you finished, she was like, ready to go again. It's because that pleasure is fleeting. It's not opening, it's not internal. It's not on the inside. It doesn't, like, open her up to receive more into her femininity and to really experiencing the flesh of hormones and things like that, because it's just up and down. And so 30%, approximately 30, that's like 20 something, are not orgasming or not climaxing rather at all.
Sean
Geez.
Janelle Gordon
And that's a high number.
Sean
That is pretty high.
Janelle Gordon
So you have the very small percentage between, you know, that like 10% that are actually having implosive, you know, multiple full body orgasms. They're just. Women aren't having them.
Sean
Wow. So why is it so low, you think? Is this supposed to be that low or is it.
Janelle Gordon
No. Every woman, you. You have the ability, not you. But woman has the immense ability to experience pleasure in their body. Look at how complicated our anatomy is compared to yours, right? And if I ask the average person, can you name three parts of anatomy on the yoni, which is a Sanskrit word for vagina, they're going to tell you maybe two at best, right? They don't really know what goes on down there. And a lot of the reason that's the number one reason I would say is women don't really understand their yoni. They haven't explored it. A lot of women say it's gross. They don't want to see a mirror of it to be naked. Most women like the lights out when they're having sex. I'm sure you've experienced this and it's like they don't want to talk about it. Like you said, a lot of shame. So know thyself. Like how a lot of shame. If you don't know your body and you don't explore it, how can you expect a man to bring you pleasure, Right? So that's this, the first one, the second reason I would say shame, huge shame. And a lot of that shame comes from religious dogma. But the other part comes from trauma. We know one in every five women has experienced some kind of abuse, assault, trauma, etc, and so that stays in your body. And a lot of women, when they have sex and they have this time, they just shut down. It's like women tell me all the time I leave my body, I don't even know I'm there. Like I just tell them, when is it over?
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
And this happens more than what you think. And then the third reason is the use of, and I don't know if I can say this word, vibrators, things that turn on and off. It's a desensitization of a woman's yoni. How can you expect a man to perform in remotely the same way, like 350 degrees, you know, horsepower or whatever then. And it's like crazy. And women are foregoing, you know, we know they're foregoing marriage and kids. You know, in 10, in the next five to 10 years, there'll be more unmarried, childless women than any other time on the planet. And so we know women are career, career, career driven. Instead of being in a relationship, they'll just use a vibrator. And then again, on the chance they do get with a man, they're so desensitized from the shame, from the trauma, from inexperience, not knowing their own body, not exploring their own body. And then you tack on the vibrators, men are losing. They're not going to be able to make this woman have a climax. No way. Like, good luck. Maybe the external, the cheap fast food one. But if you could have McDonald's or if you could have a ribeye, which one are you choosing? Plant based. So neither. But for most people, that analogy makes sense, right?
Sean
Yes. We gotta tackle this problem then.
Janelle Gordon
Correct. Correct.
Sean
That's where tantric sex comes in.
Janelle Gordon
That's where it comes in. We get people back into their bodies and we do this with practices like yoni massage and coming to my retreats. And we get men and women really connecting on really deep, intimate levels. Intimate not meaning sex. People think intimacy is sex, but they're totally not the same thing. Intimacy means closeness. It's connection. It's like the raw vulnerability of someone. And we don't see that today. Everything is fake. It's filters. It's this, it's that, it's. You're giving your best version when you go out on dates. And then when six months into relationship, you don't even know who this person is. You're like, this is the person I met. Because they didn't want you to know who they are because they don't even know who they really are. So we, like, we unmask. That's one of the things we do every night is a theme. And one of the nights we unmask and we let people see ourselves authentically.
Sean
Whoa.
Janelle Gordon
And that part is scary because most people have never done that.
Sean
I'd be really scared.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah. Just to, you know, do some of these practices like soul gazing and things like that and yab yum and things where you're very. You're very intimate. It's almost more intimate than sex. And you feel like you've known this person. After the night's over, you're like, I feel like I've known you my whole life now.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
Just from breaking down those walls. And then, of course, dealing with the sexuality in the body. That's a whole nother thing. But first we gotta just get people vulnerable and authentic and present. We're not present anymore because we have these today. Right. And there. It's a dopamine hit. Right. Yeah, we know that.
Sean
So are there single people going to your retreats or how does that work?
Janelle Gordon
We have singles. We have a mixture of both singles and couples.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
And it's interesting how that dynamic plays out. I feel like it's always about 50, 50. So people come and meet at the retreats.
Sean
Wow. You know What a way to meet someone.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Like, hey. And then, you know, people have relationships after. And I've learned also that after the retreats, people are meeting the loves of their life, really, because they just cleared that energy. They've opened up. So maybe it wasn't with the person that they were doing the activities with, the exercises, but they got to a vibration, you know, energy. They got to an energy of being open, being vulnerable, being ready to receive. And most women are so closed down, they're so shut off. They want to be in control. They want to make the money, bring home the bacon. They want to be catered to, but not too much. But then they want to also call all the shots. That sounds like a man, right?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
Like, why are we. Like, what. So there's a real problem. And then with the. Men aren't off the hook either. You know, we have a weakened low. Lowest estrogen and I think the history of ever testosterone or. I'm sorry, testosterone. Yes, lowest testosterone and estrogen dominance, rather. And so we have these beta men who will fall. They will literally cave at the drop of a hat. If a woman says, I don't want you doing that. Okay. Happy wife, happy life. No, that kind of thinking. That is what we have to shift. We have to restructure the nuances of masculine and feminine. Divine, masculine. We have to create those barriers. And people don't want those barriers. They want everything to be blurred now.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
No gender. We can all be whoever we want. Well, I want to be Kim Kardashian. Her wallet at least. Like, can I just identify as her today?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
And that's what. And that's the world we live in. And so of course we're going to have sexual problems. Right?
Sean
And. And porn, too, is causing some problems.
Janelle Gordon
Like, porn is. Is the epitome of like the most dopamine hit. Right? It's. And then what it does is it. And I'm sure you've had, like porn specialists on here that help men with the addictions. But, like, what happens is it is an addiction. And what happens is these men. Because, listen, I get guys younger than you coming to me for help with ED problems.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
My youngest client was 21.
Sean
Holy crap.
Janelle Gordon
I'm like, I should be a prime bro. Like, you should be like, up every hour of the day. Like, I'm ready. Who's ready? Like, this is. And I asked him, I went through the checklist to find out what was going on is porn. And so he. And then other clients who come in. It's like, they get so fixated on that scene. Like, to have sex, it has to be this and this and this and this shot and this. And then when they get a real woman who's not that, who doesn't look that way or doesn't reenact that scene, then they can't do it. They can't last. They can't get it up because they need that hit, that dope, that dopamine hit that got them off in the first place. And it's less effort. Porn. You don't get rejected. The women aren't rejecting you. You're paying them or really not really paying anymore, right? It's all free, right?
Sean
Depends.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, it depends on, like, pornhub and stuff like that is free, right?
Sean
Yeah, pornhub's free, but only fans. A lot of guys are dishing out.
Janelle Gordon
Money there because they're not getting rejected. Who's going to reject you when you're paying them money? Right? They have no communication skills. They can't leave their house. They. They. They're in later incels, right? They're. They're addicted to that hit that gives them that next climax. And that's it. And then when it's over, if you. And I've had guys come to me before and I said, listen. And they told me I gave this woman like three grand in like 15 minutes. And I said, listen, here's my program. I will charge you X amount even less, but I'm going to teach you the game on how to actually un f that and how to not be in that situation. Revaluous. And then they wouldn't spend it to. To get them out of that loop. Why? Because you have to do work. You have to do work on yourself. You have to face the parts of yourself as a man that you don't like. You have to come to grips that you're kind of a woman. You know, you're spending impulsively. Who does that? Women. Right. You're a beta man. You're a woman at best. So it's. We have problems.
Sean
Yeah. And then total 180 here. But semen retention and no fapping. That's like the other side.
Janelle Gordon
Well, that. Not really, because. Think about this for a moment. You're 27. You're no new to. I mean, I don't know your sexual history, but you've been around women. I know that. I'm sure you've been in positions where you've been tempted and you've had that sexual energy thrown in your face. The most challenging Thing for a man to do in the world isn't make a million, isn't to make a million dollars. There's men who do that all the time. Multiple millions. The most challenging or the biggest flex to me in the world is a man who can retain his semen. Because if you say in the moment of your climax, don't do it. Like, you need to bring that back into your body and pull that energy in and up. How many men can do that? Slim to none. I personally know men who do it because I trained with them. They're my masters, they're my colleagues. But it is a vigorous, vigorous training regime to get there. So we'll start with the no fapping. And I have some notes here just to stay on track because I can get off. So no fapping. That movement, remember that took off. It was huge. And it was like, what did you know as.
Sean
As just don't masturbate.
Janelle Gordon
Right, Just don't masturbate. No porn.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
And I believe it was no sexual activity. I've seen sites that said both. Basically, don't masturbate, don't watch porn. And then if you do that for 30 days, everything's going to be 30, 60, 90 days and you're going to be cured.
Sean
Yeah. No fap. November.
Janelle Gordon
Correct. And so, and so what we found was like, that helps some men, but if we don't replace. Okay, so if you know anything about, like how the brain works, the brain works in like patterns, right? And it connects this synapse when there's enough data to do so. So in porn you have three things that are like needs that are being met. You know, it could be the need for variety. There's different girls, there's different positions. Certainty. The need that I'm always. I'm always going to get aroused. I'm always going to get high, you know, and then significance. I feel like the man that I. I know I'm not. And then I know I can't be because I'm paying this girl on only fans. But so it's like meeting three needs. So it's an addiction. So unless you, like, even if you stop for 30 days, that doesn't solve the point that you're still getting your needs met by porn. It doesn't. It just like puts it under a shelf. You know, you might have exercised some self control, but it's like the morbidly obese person that's like, oh, for this Thanksgiving, I'm going to sit it out. But then she goes back to eating like the Same. Does that make sense?
Sean
No, it's relatable. Because my issue with that, because I tried it, is wet dreams. So. Yeah, it's almost like you're still finishing anyways, you know, and that's funny.
Janelle Gordon
And I just, like, got water all down me. That was not on purpose, y'all. But, yeah, it's because. Well, that's a whole nother thing. That's like diet, things like that. Because it is still in. It's still in your. Like. Okay, we'll explain this. Let me explain that in a moment. The difference. Yeah, but basically. So that's no fapping. Edging is when you're having sex, you go to the point of no return, and then you come back down real quick, and then you do it again, and you do it two or three times, but in the end, you still climax.
Sean
Yep.
Janelle Gordon
Like, that's it. Then we have semen retention. What is semen retention? It's not ejaculating at all for a period of time, but occasionally doing it. So, again, like the. No fapping. So you might go 30 days and say, I'm just not going to ejaculate at all. No handy Js, no sex, nothing. Right. It's not happening. But then you go back to it. Right now the Tantric retention is completely different. So we go on. The time frame of Mantak Chia, who's this ancient, like, Taoist Tantric master who talks about not just him, but how he explains it, is that men shouldn't ejaculate every so often according to their age. Okay? So say you're in your 20s, so you're good for every four days. If you're in your 30s, it's eight days. 40s, 10 days, 50s, once a month, 60s, not at all.
Sean
Whoa.
Janelle Gordon
Like, you shouldn't be. And here's the why, which is why I'll explain about the wet dreams momentarily. Because what happens is when you ejaculate, it's an anatomic reaction that happens at the base of the spine, which is why in your sleep it happens. That can be cured with a little bit of change in diet and some postures that move the energy upward so very. Like, you want to go a really solarized diet, like a yang diet. Meaning I don't want to get into it. It's too much for now. But basically that can be fixed. But it still happens. It's an automatic reaction. Right. Climax happens in the brain. Right. Because I could climax right now without you touching me.
Sean
Really?
Janelle Gordon
Yes. And there's women there's tantra masters who do that, and that's their claim to fame. But for me, it's like, how's that really helping you? Is that helping others just show. It's not just showing off to me. It's like, oh, I show you that I have the power and connection. I can do it.
Sean
That's impressive.
Janelle Gordon
It is impressive. But how's that helping your sex life?
Sean
Yeah, it doesn't.
Janelle Gordon
Correct. So, but so with that being said, the tantric semen retention is. We never, like, ever, ever climax again. Meaning not climax, ejaculate again. We learn to separate the climax from the ejaculation because they're two different entities. It's just like a bad habit that you've just done all your life. It's just a reflex. But we can train them. It's just like women. We can train our yoni muscles to actually experience, you know, climax. We can train them to. To do squirting. I don't know if I can say that. Do what we call kales. We can train that. So the reason why it's so different with just no fapping and semen retention and tantric retention is that no fapping, you just put it on pause for 30 days, no handy J's and no porn. And then you have the edging with. That's just more for fun to mix up your sex life. And then the semen retention says, I'm going to stop for a period of time, but I'll do it every so often. Now, most tantrics, they say, this is my life force. They believe that it's called your ojas O J A s, which is like, here's an example. Men in their, like, what, 50s or 60s, what happens to their erections?
Sean
Ed. Right.
Janelle Gordon
No more. Right. They don't have the vital energy to get that.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
To get that flag to salute. It just doesn't happen. And so what do they end up having to do? They go see Dr. And ask them for the, the, the Viagra or Cialis. And by the way, don't ever seriously, do not ever take these record, like, recreationally without going to see your doctor. I work for a doctor who does men's health and it's. It can be very detrimental because if you have any circulation problems, you're done. So they believe that this is life force. Every time you ejaculate, you're using losing years off your life. And so for the tantric years off.
Sean
Their life just from one ejaculation.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, because it's energy loss.
Sean
Holy crap.
Janelle Gordon
And so they say if you want to have a longer, like more viral, like more like just integrity, like this, this like divine connected energy, and you're not beta. You don't fold, you don't fall. Like you preserve your ojas, you preserve your semen. So the biggest flex is tantric retention. Anyone can make a million dollars. Can anyone retain their semen?
Sean
Yeah. But how did that have kids then?
Janelle Gordon
Well, that's a great question. So most tantrics don't procreate.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
Because they know that's taking light years off their life.
Sean
So they just don't have, they don't have kids.
Janelle Gordon
Like, I was an outcast because I had a child.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
I was considered like the black sheep. Yeah, yeah. Because it's for women, it's a huge life, a huge ojas loss. Think about the leukoria and all the blood and everything that comes out when you're having a child.
Sean
So it takes years off your life to have a child, basically.
Janelle Gordon
Absolutely.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
And energy wise, I mean, ask any mom who's had a, who's carried a child, nurse them delivered naturally, all that stuff, you don't feel like yourself again for like three, four years.
Sean
Damn. That long?
Janelle Gordon
I. I finally started feeling normal again after four.
Sean
Holy crap. Why?
Janelle Gordon
Cuz the, It's a lot of life force. It's a lot of energy. I mean, think about it. You're creating a life.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
You know, and then not only are you creating that life and cooking that life like in bun, in the oven, but then you're also like projecting that life out of you, emitting it out of you. And at the same time you're losing fluids. And the life force, life is in the blood. Right. And so for women, the blood, the leoria, which is the. What happens before menstruation, the blood, that's life force. So you're losing that. And then of course you're nursing, which is again taking vital energy from you. So, yeah, I mean, these are, these are things that the tantrics typically don't do because they, their goal is just to have more of that oneness. And so if they're having sex for hours, meditating and doing, you know, sexual transmutation, which Napoleon Hill talks about in his book Think and Grow Rich. In order to do that practice, you can't really have a kid. Like, what am I gonna do? Meditate for eight hours, then go make my son breakfast and come back and have sex for another eight hours, then meditate for the last, you know, like eight. Like where, where is he? And so most tantrics, they just forego having children.
Sean
So you're meditating that long when you're.
Janelle Gordon
In the tantric practice? Yes, absolutely.
Sean
Eight hours.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah. You're doing hatha, traditional Tantra Katha yoga, which is not what you're going to see in the yoga studios. It's specific. It's all energy work. You're. You're basically taking your body and just using it as a vehicle to tap into energy centers, to build that energy up and to move it up to higher consciousness. Right. You just think about it like even like the pyramid, lower energies and the higher up you get is higher. So the body is the same way. And that's why men, you know, are having problems with ED is they don't have that vital energy in the first energy center.
Sean
So the theory with sexual transmutation, that's basically you don't ejaculate, right. And in return, you have more energy in other aspects of your life.
Janelle Gordon
That's part of it. The sexual transmutation, like the real the. So that book, everyone knows, right? The one thing he didn't talk about is he didn't say how and like, what is actually happening. He just kind of told people, like, you shouldn't be having sex. And if you want to make, you know, make these deals and do your dreams and stuff. And so people were like, okay. But the practice was taken from the tantric yogis. I mean, everything was. And so the practice is not just to not ejaculate, but it's in the moment of climax. Because we retrain your body to actually still have a climax without the ejaculation. That is very challenging.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
And so in that moment of a man doing that Shiva and then the Shakti energy both having a climax without the energy, the oja loss, you can create. You can sexual transmutate whatever you want. And so there's things that we teach. There's like this like moment of the seed energy. It's really powerful. And you can say these mantras, these prayers, and you both have the vision at the same time.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
But you can't do that if you're only last. Let's be honest. The average man is lasting five to seven minutes long. And if the woman is capable of having a climax, it's taking her 20 to 40 minutes.
Sean
Holy crap.
Janelle Gordon
So if you're talking about pay gap and all that, we have a huge climax gap, right?
Sean
Like, yeah, that's 3 to 4x.
Janelle Gordon
Correct. So how do we get like, who wants a five minute man? I don't most people want. Well, actually, a lot of women probably today are satisfied with that because they don't even want to have sex anyways. Most women don't feel sex. A lot of them are having, as I said, the trauma. So they're just like, when is this over?
Sean
Right. So five minutes is not enough. How long do you need?
Janelle Gordon
Well, we just. I just said like 20 to 40 minutes to @ least get a woman warmed up enough to the idea that she can relax into climax.
Sean
So we need to educate men on.
Janelle Gordon
How to last longer than how to last longer. So should we do it?
Sean
Let's do it.
Janelle Gordon
All right, I'm going back to the notes because I want to say I want to stay on focus here, but okay, so the main thing I would say, and I think that they tell you this in a lot of things, is you really have to have, like, an outcome. Like, why do you want to last longer? Do you want to last longer for her? Do you want. Do you really care about her pleasure? If that's not a big deal? No big deal. Or do you just want to last longer for yourself? Like always having an outcome for what you want? And anything you do in life will 10x your success rate. So I'd say really know your outcome. Do you care about this woman? Do you just want to be a playboy? Know why you want to last longer? Because the why is going to get you through the time when it's really challenging. Right. All right. The second or the main thing, really I would say after knowing your why is testicle massage. You should be doing daily testicle massage in massage in the shower. That's like a tongue twister. And everyone takes a shower every morning. So I tell my clients, you know, you literally take the testicles and you just sort of like start from the the top and just massage the testicles down. You go up and you're just breaking up that. That tissue in there. It helps with circulation if you want to have children, even if you don't. Just having that healthy, healthy circulation is life, right?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
And this is helping to kind of disperse some of the sexual energy. Energy rather, that's just stored because the sperm sits in the epididymis for 72 days, which is in the testicles. These are like so many tongue twisters, y'all. So you want to move that around. Does that make sense?
Sean
Yeah, I've heard a ball slapping, actually.
Janelle Gordon
So there you go. So, I mean, we don't teach that, but, hey, whatever works for you. Another thing that they can do if they Want to really take this deeper is they can do like, ice. Ice. Like, you know how you do ice for your, like, body? It's the same thing. You can just ice your testicles.
Sean
Really? What does that do?
Janelle Gordon
Vasocirculation. Just boom. It just like creates, like all the capillaries just open up and then you're. You're getting that, like, dispersion of the sexual energy. But you're also getting like a healthy flow of circulation and that's what you need to have an erection right now. This other one I think is very interesting. A lot of people are not going to like it. It's. But I'm going to say it anyway. It's meat. You've got to cut down your meat. I'm not telling you to be vegan or plant based. I know Dave Asprey was just on here and he was like telling everyone to eat loads of meat. I always comment on his stuff too. I'm like, I like most of your stuff, but not that. Listen, you have to just think about what is happening when you eat meat and how long it's taking your body to get rid of it. I have asked multiple doctors from various disciplines because we were always taught this information, but I really wanted to know. So fish is taking one to two days to digest in the body. Chicken is taking three to four, beef is taking five to seven and pork seven to 10. It can stay up into your body that long.
Sean
Oh, my gosh.
Janelle Gordon
So if you're consuming meat, meat, meat, meat, because you want to be this alpha man, but then all those alpha men in the gym doing roids and eating tons of meat, they can't get erections and their testicles shrink. I know this happens because they come and talk to me afterwards. So it's a vasoconstrictor. If your body's using all that energy to. And that blood flow to digest the meat that's sitting in your body and just think about your health. Not even your erection when, when you pass. They cut people open and they're finding 5 to 20 pounds of undigested fecal matter in the body.
Sean
Holy crap.
Janelle Gordon
My colonic. I just had one last week. I know tmi, but I don't really care. She told me that in rare cases, 40 to 50 pounds, that's disgusting. I assume more obese.
Sean
So it's just stuck in them.
Janelle Gordon
Stuck.
Sean
And that's from meat or from meat? Oh, my God.
Janelle Gordon
Meat. And heavily like processed foods.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
But mostly meat. Meat like beef and pork take the longest. So cut back on the meat. I'm not saying to become vegan. I know it's not sustainable for everyone and I never preach what I know won't work. I want you to do things that you can work. I say just restrict it and just track it. Try it for a month of no meat and see how your erection quality improves. And then test it. Be your own test dummy. So, but as far as like, hands on approach, what can you do? The number one thing you can do when you're in the bedroom with the lady, if you're the one of the lucky guys who's actually getting laid today. Because we know like 1 in 3 guys under the from the ages of 18 to 27 aren't having sex, which is high. Which is high. So if you're in that good percentage, then you got a woman in bed, she's ready to go do oral on her first. Do oral and spend a little bit of time there and maybe do some finger work as well. And if you don't know how to check out my YouTube, I give you videos, please don't wing it. It is awful if you do it wrong. Guys, I've heard from everyone. So, yeah, know what you're doing. But the whole goal is, again, we want to dispel some of the sexual energy like we did in the testicles. We want to do that in the yoni. If she climaxes, which most women can from. From clitoral, right?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
So if you do some oil on her, she might climax once or twice. And then you've massaged the testicles and. And then you've done all that and you actually go in to try to have sex with her. You're going to last longer just by those things alone.
Sean
Really?
Janelle Gordon
Yes.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
And then the third thing you can do is the breathing. But breathing, everyone says breathing. But like, oh, yeah, I'm breathing. It's a conscious breath. So like when, say, say you're going in and you're like, you're in stroke. So you can practice inhale. And then as you're pulling out, you can practice in exhale.
Sean
Interesting.
Janelle Gordon
You can play like now I'm not coaching everyone 101, so every person that's different. But I want you to be consciously connected to your breath. You can also say, like, every three strokes, I'm gonna inhale. So like inhale, 1, 2, 3, hold, exhale. And your exhales always want to be a lot longer. Now I will tell you. So the breath, there's so many things you can do, and that's why you gotta come to a retreat? Work with me. I give you a perfect script for you. But what you can do is in that moment that you're feeling like I'm about to go over the edge, you take a breath there. You pull up on the perineum. You can either pull, if you have the control with your muscles. Like I'm pulling up on my perineum right now. You can try it too. Go ahead, Sean. Perineum. Good question. I'm so glad you asked. So perineum is the space that sits between the anus and the testicles for men and the vagina and the woman and the anus for. For women. So that area, I guess they call it, like the T word. I don't think we can say that. Do you know what I'm talking about? The T tank. Can you say that?
Sean
Oh, I've never heard that.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, it's like a. It's a vulgar term, but it's like that area. So if you can contract that yourself, great. But if not, you can use your two fingers and you just press up. Press up. And as you press up, so you're like. And you just hold it and you vision everything going up. Why up? Because the energy's down here, right? What do we want to do with the energy? We want to bring it up. Where are men strongest in their energy bodies? Like, this is a lesson in chakras and everything today for a man, for shiva energy. They're stronger in their energy bodies up here. They're not stronger down here. Why you guys don't give birth. You're not the earth. Right. You're the cosmos, the energy wise. So you want to move the energy up to here. That's why men typically tend to be more, like, perceptive. They're more, like, focused. They're more the one track, right?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
Not saying women can't, but is that general, General rule of thumb, so leave me alone, y'all for that. But men typically are more tuned in. So you want to pull up on the perineum, press it if you can. It will feel. It will feel a little uncomfortable. And just breathe and hold that as long as you can. That right there is gonna help you last longer. And then you can start cycling that during your sex.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
But the main thing, another last tip, and I could give you guys so many. I don't have enough time today to do that. I know you're on a strict schedule, is you want to stay in this 50 to 70% range of pleasure. So we get into the Whole chart at my retreat. But essentially, if not having an arousal was zero and having a full climax was 100, you want to stay in the 50 to 70. That is hard, because what happens with most men when it starts to feel good, they're like, oh, yeah, I'm going there. I'm going down that path. Right. They don't back off. So you want to kind of stay in that area because it's like, I don't know if you're into cars, but say you're in a Lamborghini and you go up to, like, 100, and then you decide, I want to push the brakes. How easily is that for you to push the brake? How easy is it for you to stop quick? It's going to take some effort because you're going so fast, right? So that's how it is when you're trying to last longer. If you're staying in that 50 to 70% range and you start feeling okay, okay, you just rein it in, Find the perineum, find your breath, focus, move the energy up, and ride again. Right? But if you're in the 90 and you feel like 95, 96. I'm good, I'm good. You try to hit the brakes, you're going to lose the ejaculation. And even if you're not training semen retention, you just want to last longer. Stay in that safe range. It'll. It will help tremendously.
Sean
Super helpful. Thank you for all that.
Janelle Gordon
I think people I know. That was in depth.
Sean
Yeah, that was in depth. That meditation about moving the energy up, that's actually similar to Joe Dispenza.
Janelle Gordon
Correct. It's all that. Like, it's all the same. It's all different, but it's all the same. So, yeah, you want to. You want to take the. The sexual energy which sits in the perineum, that's the first chakra, and the second energy, which is the sacral or the. I call it the sex chakra. Right? You want to pull that up. And you can pull it up the front or pull it up the back, however, you can pull it up. Right. People are like, oh, in order to meditate, you have to know you need. How you can meditate is how you need to meditate, right? Like, why are we shaming people for not being spiritual enough? That's why I have very little to do with the yoga world. You'll never see me on a yoga person's podcast.
Sean
You're not a fan of yoga?
Janelle Gordon
I'm. I'm. I'm. I have a Master's in yoga. Let's be honest. My dar, my guru, Sri Dharma Mitra, who brought yoga to America. He's 80. So I love yoga. I don't like the spiritual dogma that they teach. I want to bring tantra to the masses. I want someone who's never set foot in a yoga studio to know, hey, I can control my ejaculation. I can have more power in my life. I can have more control, more money. I can be a more present father. Like, they don't teach you that in yoga class? No, they're fixated on who has the best Lululemons, who's more flexible enough, who's doing this, who's dating who, and I don't care about that. Like, I want people to have a rule book to, to help them have lasting, passionate relationships. And in order to do that, you have to, to see the parts of yourself and talk about the parts of yourself that most people won't talk about. Sex and intimacy.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
If you say sex, God or money, you are instantly ostracized from any room you're in.
Sean
Wow. That's true, though. It's a controversial topic.
Janelle Gordon
And tantra says all three of those. We're going to mix them together and have them for breakfast. We're going to use sex to go beyond sex, to get to God and get more money. And people don't like that. Again, that's why they don't want me out there.
Sean
I love that. Do you get a lot of guys coming to you with sizing concerns?
Janelle Gordon
We do. We get people that are like, very curious if they're big enough. Right. And I think that this is probably the age old question that everyone wants to know, does size really matter? And more importantly, am I big enough? Right. Because they don't. Who cares about someone else? Right. It's your lingam. Lingam is the Sanskrit word for peanut or for penis. So they want to know, am I big enough? Now this question has been answered. I've scoured YouTube. Obviously this is my niche and it's interesting to see what's out there. Let me just tell you this. Size absolutely does matter. But it's not just the size. It's the size and the shape of the yoni that you're paired with that really makes the difference. So the Kama Sutra, which is a practice, an ancient practice that we pull from in tantra, we pull a lot of things from it. Most people think the Kama Sutra is just this manual about sex. It is that, but it's so much more so they have a whole segment on size. Now, their theory and concept was that there's three different sizes for men in three different sizes for women. And in my retreats, we have this whole funny way we do it. I won't spoil that for you. You gotta check my patreon or come to a retreat. But basically it's a small, medium and large. Right? So the small version we're saying. And again, this is no shade. This is just numbers, is we're saying it's like 4 to 5 inches, right.
Sean
Is that soft or hard?
Janelle Gordon
This is. This is hard.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
This is erect. I had to think about this for a moment. I love that word, erect. It sounds so sexy. It's an erect lingam. Right? So four to five inches. Now, the medium version would be five to six inches or so. Right. And then we have the large version, which is approximately seven to nine. Right. And we're just vacillating the numbers. We're saying one to two inches hard. Okay? So those are small, medium and large. Now, you fit into that category. I know it because I know. I've done so much lingam study. Like, size study. If you go on my. There's so many emojis of, like, all these studies of, like, size and who. The biggest size in the world, it's in Africa, you know, and. And in the south. There's a few states in the south with really big lingams. And then it. I like, I can tell you demographics, all of that. So I know a lot about this. But it's not about if you're 5 inches or if you're 9 inches. It's about the size of the yoni that you're paired with. For instance, if you are 9 inches long and you're paired with a woman who's yoni, meaning from entrance to cervix, is only four inches. Right. She's the small, she's the four to five inches. Is that going to work long term? No, no. Why? First of all, guys will be like, oh, yeah, it's tighter, it's smaller. But I promise you, I've talked to a lot of guys and we've talked about their lingams. Like, I know, and from my own personal experience, like, if a guy has that big of a lingam, he wants to be able to have pleasurable sex with someone who can tolerate. I know that word sounds bad. Who can take his lingam.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
You've heard this term, like, bottoming out. Like there's just nowhere left to go. Hit the wall. And you're like, like I want to go further because you're not even in. Say you're that much in. Yeah, right. So it's just doesn't work. Are there certain positions that can work and can help? Of course. And then you have to flip it the other way. So I'm not just putting, you know, if a woman has a large yoni and say she is nine inches from entrance of yoni to size, wow, she.
Sean
Could have a nine inch yoni.
Janelle Gordon
Well, we're, we're seeing statistics but I mean she could have a longer canal, but I don't know exactly if she's 9 inches. I'm saying like the capabilities because the most guys don't even have a 9 inch lingam. It's less than 1% of the population that have a 9 inch lingam or more. It's like a point. It's like point. It's like half of a percent. It's so small. Right. So I was just using the extreme for like extreme measures. But say she's seven, whatever and the guy is only four. That's not going to work right. For, for them either. So you have to think, okay, maybe sometimes why the sex isn't working is because we're just not paired correctly. No, I'm not saying to divorce your wife if you're a small and she's a large. I'm not saying that there are ways around it. And I think that's what's, that's what we can talk about next is what are the ways around it?
Sean
Can they yoni adopt the lingam though?
Janelle Gordon
If you really like the person, it can. If it's. So the rule of thumb is you can go like small, medium, medium, small, medium, large, medium, large, but you don't want to go the ends small and large, large and small. Does that make sense? Because yes, it can adapt. But over time. Is it like, here we go. Women don't want to have sex now as it is. Right. Like the average husband is having sex when he's married approximately one to two times a month. That's it. Yes. So imagine you did the number on what that is a year said earlier.
Sean
In your 20s, you should be having sex twice a week.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, exactly. And that's with, and that's even like the tantric philosophy of like ejaculating that much. You can, you can have sex more than that, but just the amount of time. So you can have sex every day. If you're practicing semen retention, you just can't ejaculate only twice a week. Does that make sense? So. So back to like it. You can play around with postures and props, but if every time you're going into sex as a woman, knowing, like, this is going to be so uncomfortable, is it really worth it? No. So for men, women have a part. 2. But we'll talk with men. Now. There's a few things you can do. One, you can do something. And I work with a doctor out of Newport Beach, Dr. Barr. She does these P shots. I've actually sat in on one before. It was very fascinating. And the P shot is basically your blood that's pulled out of your body. It's spun in a centrifuge. It's spun at such a degree that it turns it into a plasma. Liquid gold. They call it prp. Platelet rich plasma. And then they inject that. They numb your penis. I think they should use more numbing cream, just personally, because I was there.
Sean
Oh, gosh.
Janelle Gordon
I'm just being honest here. That's the thing about me. I'll be a little too honest. And then they inject the penis with your own prp. Now, if. If the client chooses, he can get a little mixture of Botox in there too. From all the studies I've done, I've researched a lot online to see what are guys getting out of this process. It's not cheap. I won't lie to you. And it is painful. I'm gonna lie to you. The doctor tells you it doesn't hurt. They lie about other things, too. Does it numb some of the pain? Of course. But the closer you get to the tip of the head of the penis.
Sean
Oh, it's at the tip.
Janelle Gordon
They do all of it.
Sean
Oh, my.
Janelle Gordon
They do the shaft.
Sean
Oh, my God.
Janelle Gordon
Depending on what you want. Think if you want length and girth, they're going to inject at the shaft and they're going to inject up. Right?
Sean
Oh.
Janelle Gordon
So. Exactly. I know. Like your face says it all.
Sean
I thought it was just one in the vein and done.
Janelle Gordon
No, no. I felt the same way watching it. So they. The studies have shown. Get this. This is amazing to me. 76% of PRP clients are seeing results. If not the first, this by the second time. Thousand percent. And they're getting between one and two inches of length and girth.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
Results lasting up to nine months. And you have to understand, this is why I don't do fillers. I use my own PRP for my face. I do vampire facials. I inject the PRP back into my body. Because here's the Difference why? If you go and just get a filler in your face, that filler just goes away. But the PRP is actually encouraging more tissue, more collagen to be created in the body every time you inject. So it's building each time you. Each time you inject.
Sean
Right.
Janelle Gordon
So the results don't just go away. They. They are. It's encouraging more growth.
Sean
That's cool.
Janelle Gordon
More growth.
Sean
Yeah. It's like tricking your body almost, right?
Janelle Gordon
Yes. Now, if you don't have the money and you don't like needles and you just don't want someone injecting your penis, like, totally understandable. There's another method and it's called joqing. This is a tantric method. I go, I have a whole course on it and we talk about it a little bit. My retreats too. But basically it's a Sudanese technique. And it's funny because I was talking to the Sudanese guy once and he was like, impressed that I knew about it. But the tantrics gathered it because they said, hey, this works, let's do it. Basically, it's a intense form of like pulling your lingam every day with ghee or some kind of very emollient. Emollients, lubricants, all organic. So they use ghee because it was just, it was just good for that. And it's pulling and stretching and certain exercises that you do every day. And over time, they say that your lingam will grow in length and girth.
Sean
Whoa.
Janelle Gordon
If you do this religiously every day and you spend like 30 minutes doing it.
Sean
Interesting.
Janelle Gordon
So it's more time related, no cost, but obviously more time. And it's going to take time. Now, the tantrics and the Sudanese, both, they would start their, their boys, like at puberty.
Sean
Whoa.
Janelle Gordon
Having them do it.
Sean
Wow. And they have long. On average, they have.
Janelle Gordon
Look at the Sudanese. You. You go, go and do your homework.
Sean
Go down there.
Janelle Gordon
So there, there are options now let's not get women off the hook. There's options for women as well. We can use yoni eggs. If you're curious about these, I have these on my site that you can put in the body and do. It's like a workout for your yoni. People say, oh, just do Kegels. And I always just tell them, that doesn't work. If I sit here and do this all day, is that gonna work? No, no. I went to the gym this morning and I lifted like 40 pounds and I feel it and I'm sore right now. So that's what you want. So the, the eggs are made out of, like, crystals, like amethyst or rose quart. And so they're not only charged with the properties of amethyst and rose quart, but it's a stone. So we're not putting plastic or silicone or crazy stuff that women put in their bodies today. And then you do exercises, and I teach you guys all of that. But so women have their part as well. Right. So size does matter, but it's more about the size and shape that you're paired with long term because you want to have sex. I mean, I hope so. Right. Like, I know men want to have sex. The problem is women are on the fence. They want to have sex until they're married, and then once they get the ring and the money and the security and the safety, because that's important to women, then they're kind of not interested anymore, especially after they've had a kid. Then it's like, I'm good, I'm taken care of. I'm fine.
Sean
Right.
Janelle Gordon
And so we don't want that to happen because we know that sex. Listen to this. Is the only thing that differentiates your relationship from any other relationship on the planet, that you have your sex. Yeah. If you're not having sex with someone, you're just a roommate. Don't kid yourself into thinking you're married.
Sean
Right.
Janelle Gordon
Or you're just a glorified sugar daddy or sugar mama. Sex is sacred, and we should be having more of it. And so in order to do that, we want, you know, you want your body to be comfortable and you want to make sure that you're paired correctly so that you can have more sex and have those moments of meditation and oneness and. Yeah.
Sean
And you believe there's 11 forms of climax and people are stuck on the second one.
Janelle Gordon
Yes, yes, yes, yes. There are 11 forms of climax. We obviously can't get into them today, but. Okay, so the reason why people are stuck on the second is the first and second one would be the clitoris, the second one. What would it be? What do you think?
Sean
Isn't it through penetration?
Janelle Gordon
The G spot.
Sean
G spot, Correct.
Janelle Gordon
Most. Most guys have heard of it. Right. And if they have, like, they don't know they've heard it exists. Some guys are like, where is this? Where do I find the G spot? Right. But other than that, you don't really hear of too many other kinds of orgasms, right?
Sean
I haven't heard of any.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah. And there, there are many more. And so the reason why men get stuck on those two Is because that's what's been propaganda. Like, that's what's been given to them as propaganda of what exists. Women's pleasure hasn't really mattered. Remember in the medical books, they didn't even used to have like the uterus. Like, they, they were just like, oh, this is for giving birth. And that was it. They didn't have the vagina, they didn't have the yoni. They didn't have the mapping of all the intricacies of everything. They just had like, you give birth here and that's it. Like, so women's pleasure didn't matter. And I think that's the biggest lie. Like, women's pleasure makes them more feminine. It makes them all the things men want. More femininity, more receptiveness, more openness, more surrender. All those things that men are raving about that they want on all these red pill shows, but then they're not doing anything to help him. They call it a box. Oh, it's just a box. It's like, like that mentality is why we're only stuck on the first two, right? So we know the clitoris and that's been recognized as the. Yeah, that's a thing. And women have pleasure there. So it's almost like, I think it's also like a little collective subconscious thing. Like there's a clitoris and the G spot. The G spot. Most people don't know how to find the clitoris. Most people can find. So you can have that. It's almost like women are like, yeah, I can have those two. I'll probably only have the one, but at least I'm having one out of two, right? Like, it's that thinking when you think that's. That's. If you think that that's not the truth, then you're misled about other things too, right? So the biggest reason why we're stuck on these two is that I said it a little bit before is women just don't know their body. They haven't explored. I talk to women and they say they don't want to do self pleasure on themselves. It feels weird. They feel weird. And like, doing it with their partner feels weird too. And nobody wants to do this work on good sex and intimacy, but they want it just to magically happen somewhere in the bedroom. Oh, he didn't make me climax. You know, it's like, well, did you show him what you liked? Did you tell him? Did you offer him, hey, honey, can I show you what you like? What I like? How would you know What I like, you know, you're not my body and I'm. We'll just say I'm 30, you're 35. We've been having sex previously. Maybe if I show you what I like, I can help you like these concepts that people don't really do.
Sean
Right.
Janelle Gordon
So. So yeah, the 11 forms are possible. And the most opening of all the orgasms would be like the uterine orgasm, the cervix or the uterine orgasm. That's like the Mecca of climate or sorry of climaxes, if you will.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
And so that's what we want to train women to have.
Sean
That's a full body one, right?
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, it's like you leave your body like you go to. That's how my son was conceived. Truthfully, Right. That you're so open. And let me tell you this, this is why I believe other women aren't having, aren't opening themselves up to climax. It's such an unattractive experience. Like you are not in control of your body. You look crazy sometimes the angles are so weird. Your body's this, you're that, you're sweating, you're smelling. And women wanna look good during sex. Women cares too much about how they look. Like, don't get me wrong, I like looking good like the next person too. But if you really wanna have those like intense, earth shattering, God connecting, Shiva connecting or climaxes with your partner, you have to be prepared to give up to control, to surrender your body over to him. Like literally. So if you can't go into sex with your partner saying I will surrender my body to him during this 20 minutes or five, whatever, then don't have sex with him. And women will give up anything they give their right arm over. Giving giving up control of their body to a man.
Sean
Trust issues.
Janelle Gordon
I was just gonna say they don't trust them. But more importantly, they don't trust their own body and they don't trust themselves. We want to point the fingers at men and say men aren't lasting long enough. They're not making us climax. They're not doing this. I don't feel. You don't trust yourself, sweetheart. You don't even know your own body. Honey, why are you point blaming him? Like you do the work on you. Like imagine if you have a woman come to you and be like, hey, listen, I just want to be honest with you. Like I don't really know my body all that well. I'm working to discover it. I know you. How are you going to know my body? But like, let's go in this together. Let's have no shame. Let's, like, have times where we just, like, talk about what works for us sexually. And one night where we just, like, role play on each other, but we're not, quote, having sex. We are experimenting. This is like yoni massage, lingam massage on each other so we understand what each other likes, so we can serve each other. People don't say that.
Sean
No, people don't think like that.
Janelle Gordon
They're just like, how quickly can I get her in bed? And when she leave the next morning.
Sean
They think very selfishly. Right?
Janelle Gordon
Yeah. And there's no room for selfishness in Tantra. Tantra is a selfless practice of dying of yourself, dying of your ego and showing the most vulnerable, authentic, ugly parts of yourself with that person who's doing the same. And in that place, you're creating some of the most beautiful, cosmic, climactic experiences you could ever have in your life.
Sean
Yeah. A lot of guys approach you and they ask how to get more BJ's.
Janelle Gordon
Yes.
Sean
And you have a controversial answer.
Janelle Gordon
I have a controversial answer. First of all, I think. I think if you've ever had a good bj, it's been transformational. Like, your life is never the same. Right. Like, let's just be honest. And I think we have to call a spade a spade. Men love BJ's. Why? Why do they love them? What do you think? It's easy. And let's be honest, I'm gonna go on my little diatribe here about men. I was talking to my neighbor about this in the pool yesterday. They were like, man, your son has it in for him. He's just like, being a man is hard today. Being a woman is so easy. We go through life, if you're mildly attractive, you get. I get free stuff all the time. I don't even ask for it. I get. People are treating me nice. Da, da, da. Like, people come up to me in the stores and like, hey, I've seen you. Hey, can I buy your groceries? Get here. Go for. I think it's easy to be a woman. It's challenging to be a man. Because a man has to, number one, solidify his place in society. If he doesn't have a name for himself, like, if he wasn't born in the lucky sperm club, if you will. He has to create it like you. Nobody gave you money and said, here. Or maybe they did.
Sean
Oh, hell no.
Janelle Gordon
Okay. I didn't get that energy. Like, here you go, Sean. Here's 12 million subscribers. And here's a podcast everyone wants to be on. No, you had to forge that. You had to put in the time. I'm sure you turned down women all the time because you had to be in here, what, building, working. Yeah, right. So you're doing that. Then you're also taking care of family. Then there's all these nuances about men today. You're not able to express your emotions because then you're too feminine. But then you can't be too aggressive because then you're toxic. Masculine. It's like, bro, like, can we just relax? Then they're poisoning you with estrogen and everything. And plastics. And in the meat, you guys are getting overloaded with estrogen. So you're constantly like, why don't I feel like a man? Well, news flash, you aren't because you have so much estrogen. Like, it's hard. Then let's talk about sex. Sex is much easier for women. It just is. As long as they don't have trauma, which we know they do. When they're healed from that, it's relatively more simple for us. We just have to receive you for the man. You have to have enough relaxation. Listen to this very carefully. To get an erection. So people think you have to be excited to get an erection. No. To get an erection, your body has to be in the parasympathetic central nervous system, which is the rest and digest, not the fight or flight. Not a climax. You're in fight or flight. You're in the sympathetic, right? Because you're excited. Your blood pressure, everything goes right. So all the things you have to do just to get an erection. Then when you're actually having sex, you have to worry, am I hurting her? Am I going too fast? Is. Is this too much for her? Oh, shoot, I think I'm gonna climax again. I need to slow down. Like, there's all these things that are going through your mind. You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So a bj, you don't have to do any of that. You just sit there or stand or kneel, lay, whatever, whatever the arrangement is, and you just get to receive. Is the one time in your life where you don't have to think, yes, you have to get the erection. But after that, you can just get pleasure. And get. For you guys, you don't need a lot. You need loyalty, and you need a woman who's willing to, like, partner with you, but be submissive at times. When it calls for and just sex and pleasure, and it's important to you. It's just as Important to a woman as being protected, being provided, feeling safe, being loved. Are all these things important to women? Being financially, yes. Men, simple. They want loyalty. They want a woman who can preserve their legacy with them, create children, maybe. And they want sex once in a while. So a blowjob for a man is easy. He just gets to relax and receive. Now, women, here's the thing, I will say this. If your woman, your wife, your long term partner, whatever it is, if she doesn't understand how important BJ's and or sex are to you, leave her. No, not really. But like maybe. No, like you've got to edge, you have to educate her. Yeah, you need to take her to a retreat, something like mine take her to get there so she understands. Because for a man, this is everything. For you guys. It's not bad. People demonize men for being wanting sex and wanting BJ's. No, they need that. They need to feel that pleasure, they need to feel that release. They need to feel that like I can just chill for a minute, right? Because in life they're out fighting, they're fighting dragons, they're protecting, they're providing, they're preserving their legacy. And so I would say the best thing to get this from a woman is you have to have a heart to heart with yourself. Is my woman understand how important this is to me. And if she does not, I need to find a way to let her know. And it might not be you telling her. That's why I say it might be going to retreat, it might be going to a therapist that is more sex. Like in this realm, like tantric or something. So that can be there and let women see. Because what happens with women is as soon as they get that ring, their stress levels lower. They're not in fight or flight anymore. Why? Because they're married, they have a kid, even more, their stress levels lower. Why? They know they're gonna be supported, right? They know no matter what happens, they're getting a check and then sometimes the baby comes, they let themselves go and then they just decide, I don't want to have sex. And most women tell me I do not want to do BJ's. They'll do sex, they'll tolerate sex. But BJ's are like off the table.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
For most women that I know, it's just not interesting to them, especially if they're married. So I think when you, you have to have these talks even before you get married, but if you're already married, I would tell her exactly how important this is to You. And telling sometimes means going to a third party and at the same time, showing up as divine masculine energy for her, making sure that you're present with her. Present is directed, connected, focus energy towards her. No phones, no work, no kids, no homies, just her. And if you're giving her that and you're taking care of her needs and she wants for nothing, if she has a job, that's her prerogative. She wants to whatever. But she's cared for, her kids are cared for, and she's still not giving you that, then at this time, I do think you have to reevaluate things.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
Because it's like your basic need. And I think if. If she really loves and respects you, she'll understand that this is an important need to you, and she'll do whatever it takes to make it important to her. Maybe that's coming to see someone like myself and saying, hey, I don't like BJ's because I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not good at it. It feels weird. I don't know. I've had a bad experience and work through it.
Sean
Yeah, I love that.
Janelle Gordon
Does that make sense?
Sean
Yeah, it's been fun.
Janelle Gordon
I mean, that's. It's a lot but fun.
Sean
Talking about sex. Let's segue over to some of your podcasts.
Janelle Gordon
All right, let's do it. Let's do it.
Sean
You recently went on Jubilee, right? Yes. And you were an anti Trump supporter on that episode, which is surprising because you don't give me that energy.
Janelle Gordon
I don't. I know. You know what? Okay, so I will say this. I. I had to promise that I had never voted for Trump, which I never had. But, I mean, I have a Trump sticker, Trump 2022 magnet on my. Or 2020 magnet on my fridge. So. And I live in Orange County. I live in Newport beach, and that's Trump land. During COVID we had no issues because we're just very conservative there, and we didn't follow what everyone else was doing. So I will say this. I was kind of forced to say, like, the lesser two evils. Right. Like, I was like, I would never vote for Biden. Would I vote for Trump? Yes. I think that you can't necessarily. Like, I was really good at arguing his downfall because the evidence was just all there. And so I had to say, like, Stormy Daniels, then the journalist. These are two. I can't think of her name, but, like, you know, the journalist lady. Two different ladies from two different walks of life. Porn stars. Don't hang out with CNN journalists or whatever. Her journal, you know, they do not hang out. So for that, I had to say, like, come on, there's something there. However, I will say that when you look at a candidate, you can't necessarily say, we're going to judge him off of his personal behavior. Right. Look at our favorite President Clinton. Right. People felt like Clinton did an amazing job even though he was a Democrat, that he did great things for the economy and he's still one of the most like, known presidents as of late. Right. Like, people respect him even though he got a BJ and lied about it in front of the world. Right. And got caught lying. People still respect him. Why? Because he was a good president, despite his indiscretions. Right. And more. Not even his indiscretions. Whatever he does with him and his wife, that's on them. But the lying about it was like, what was. Right. Appalling for most. So you look at Trump and you just say, listen, the man stands for values. The values that I agree with, how I raise my son, family values, you know, these American inherently good values. And so you have to kind of judge him by that and by the job that he's doing in his presidency versus, like, what they're wanting you to see, the indiscretion and things like that. If it came down to it. And I had to vote for one or the other. And I said, like, I would say neither. You can't say that. I'm voting Trump.
Sean
Agreed.
Janelle Gordon
I'm never going to vote Biden. Right. And someone accused me of that on the debate, and I didn't like that they said that because I never said that. So I know that was. That's a tough one.
Sean
But speaking of debate, you debated Destiny, too. What was the topic of debate for that?
Janelle Gordon
Okay, first of all, Destiny got butt hurt because I called out his. I think they're split now. Molina. I was on a podcast with Molina on Adam's show on Sauce Cast with. Oh, with Fresh and Fit. When we did that big. That whole. That's a whole nother story. Right. When I did that whole debate.
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
There was like, all the panel is Fresh and Fit and Adam and then all the girls, which, by the way, Adam, you tricked me into that. You did not tell me that all those chicks were going to be there.
Sean
Oh, you thought it was just you.
Janelle Gordon
It was just me and a couple other girls, like the normal roundup. Right.
Sean
So you got dragged into like.
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, but they like me there because they know I cause the stuff but stir the pot. But. So she was so like to me, I was like, I was just, I was appalled by her behavior. It was just so she was cutting off the hose. She was cutting off Adam. I don't know if you watched.
Sean
She got a lot of heat for that one.
Janelle Gordon
She was just very like, very masculine. And so I didn't know the situation with them. I didn't even know who they were. That was my first introduction. I have a life other than YouTube. I have a son. I'm around the world, the retreats, I don't really know. And so I wanted to debate Destiny because I, I was told, she told everyone that she pegged him on that show. And so I got on the show and first of all, the first time I went on with him, there was another girl and they, they ambushed me. And I was like, that's not fair. Like at least have let me have some other person. Like if it's going to be a one on one, be a one on one. Why was it a two on one and you didn't tell me? So right away I knew Destiny was a beta man, that he was like, like he was getting pegged on a regular. That behavior just showed that like what man comes to debate and brings a girl? Not a man, right?
Sean
Yeah.
Janelle Gordon
Then the second time he came on and he's like, agreed to redo it and then he, he got mad because of the whole pegging thing and he's like, that never happened. That never happened. I saw a whole Reddit thread that showed that and but nonetheless, in the end he got really triggered because he just said like, oh, my thing was a scam and all this stuff and it was simply because during COVID and I'll speak, I'll speak very openly about this because I like to have everything out in the open during COVID I had my business and I had my non profit and we know Covid for everyone was very intense and you had to sink ship or swim. Like you had to like cut things off that you couldn't manage. And at that time, my nonprofit was so small, it was grassroots. We never applied for a grant or loan or anything from the government ever. We only got small donations, mostly at Tony Robbins event and a little few college campus and local things that we did. Never anything substantial. He accused me of being a fraud and phony. And there's a whole like Reddit thread on that My organization was a scam because we didn't file taxes during COVID because we weren't even bringing any money in yeah. And I had to like, focus my energy on the business. I still referred out the girls in the non profit to organizations of people I knew who had money. Because if you know anything about 501s, they're extremely challenging. It's. It's another entity, it's another business. So that was his biggest arguments in me. And I was like, bro, that's the only thing you can pull up on me is that I couldn't maintain both a business and a nonprofit, like, whatever. And he literally admitted on camera that his life would have been better had his son not been born.
Sean
Whoa.
Janelle Gordon
I got him to say that.
Sean
Holy crap. I didn't know he had a son.
Janelle Gordon
Exactly.
Sean
With Melinda. Her name is.
Janelle Gordon
No, with some. With someone else.
Sean
Wow.
Janelle Gordon
So I think that the whole desk. I think Destiny, I know he got really famous and I hear he's super smart and that's great. But I honestly think those. I think that all the men that follow him are in that percentage of men that aren't getting laid.
Sean
Yeah, that's a base. Seemed like it got personal. I feel like you should have been just kept on the topics.
Janelle Gordon
And I got. And I did mess up in that. I did mess up because it got so personal and it hurt me mo. Because I was connected to that. And then I lost it. And I. I admit it. I said I got too feminine. I got in my feelings. I felt like I was also on my cycle at that time. Not a great time. Not a great time to do a debate with Destiny on your cycle. And then. Yeah, I should have just. I should have done better. Tony Robbins team trained me, his media team, and I should have just stayed on topic.
Sean
I'll set up another one for you if you.
Janelle Gordon
Let's do it.
Sean
You want to do it with Destiny?
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, let's do it here.
Sean
Because Destiny is trying to come on.
Janelle Gordon
So let's do it.
Sean
Okay.
Janelle Gordon
Will it be just him and I.
Sean
Or I won't ambush you with other girls? Yeah. So it's Nick. I like his show, but sometimes there's just so much, like going on.
Janelle Gordon
It's so.
Sean
Because I went on too, and it was me and like seven girls and I feel like I could barely talk.
Janelle Gordon
Okay, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it.
Sean
I'll do head to head debate.
Janelle Gordon
Oh, you went on with Adam. Yeah. It gets so side railed, dude.
Sean
Because there's so many people.
Janelle Gordon
And I think Adam's such a gracious host, but sometimes I feel like. Like he has to just say like, stop talking or they have to have a buzzer or something, you know what I mean? Because they just, like, plow over him. And that's what Molina was doing that night. But, yeah, let's do it.
Sean
Let's do it here. Anything else you want to promote or close off with?
Janelle Gordon
Yeah, I do have a book coming out, and I'm really excited. It's called unfuck your sex life, Unleashing passion and intimacy for an orgasmic relationship. And, yeah, I'm very excited about that. And I have a retreat in Morocco if you want to go in September. We have a few spaces left. We do applications. We do. We don't just let you come if you want to go. And. Yeah. So if you're willing to invest some time, energy, a little money, come join us. It's going to be the most amazing experience yet. And that's. That's basically it.
Sean
Perfect. We'll link the retreat in the book below. Thanks for coming on.
Janelle Gordon
Thank you so much, Sean.
Sean
Yeah, thanks for watching. Hopefully you guys learned something today that could change your lives. I will see you tomorrow.
Digital Social Hour: The Untold Power of Sacred Sexuality Explained | Jennelle Gordon DSH #783
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Janelle Gordon
Release Date: October 5, 2024
In episode #783 of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly welcomes Janelle Gordon, a renowned tantric sex expert, to delve deep into the profound and often misunderstood realm of sacred sexuality. This episode explores the intersection of spirituality, trauma, and intimate relationships, offering listeners invaluable insights into overcoming societal shame and enhancing sexual fulfillment.
Sean Kelly opens the discussion by highlighting the prevalent shame surrounding sex in contemporary society, especially when discussing it openly with family or friends (00:01).
Janelle Gordon responds by questioning the double standard in how sexual expressions are treated online. She observes, “Why is it okay that we see these hot models, these of girls, these twerkers online everywhere?” (00:05), emphasizing the contradiction in allowing explicit content while stigmatizing conversations about conscious and sacred sexuality.
She defines conscious sexuality as being fully present and connected to one’s body and breath during intimate moments. Gordon elaborates, “Conscious sexuality is bringing the divine into sex. You can use sex to go beyond sex to get to God.” (03:57), underscoring the spiritual dimension of intimate relationships.
Gordon attributes the pervasive shame around sexuality to both religious dogma and trauma, stating, “One in every five women has experienced some kind of abuse, assault, trauma, etc., and so that stays in your body.” (06:39). She explains how these factors lead to dissociation from one’s body and hinder genuine sexual connection.
She further distinguishes between superficial and profound sexual experiences. “Most women are only experiencing clitoral orgasms. It’s the fast food version of climax—quick and fleeting.” (05:08). Gordon points out that only about 30% of women are not climaxing at all (06:39), highlighting a significant need for deeper sexual education and healing.
The conversation transitions to the topic of semen retention and the No Fap movement. Gordon critiques the No Fap approach, stating, “It's like putting a morbidly obese person on a diet for Thanksgiving. It doesn't address the underlying issues.” (16:24). She contrasts this with tantric practices, which focus on sexual transmutation—the ability to experience climax without ejaculation (19:54).
She introduces spermic retention as a way to preserve life force, referencing Taoist tantric principles. Gordon explains, “Every time you ejaculate, you're losing vital energy.” (21:37), and discusses advanced techniques like PRP (Platelet-Rich Plasma) injections and joqing for men seeking enhanced sexual performance without energy loss.
Gordon provides actionable advice for both men and women to deepen their sexual experiences:
Testicle Massage: “You should be doing daily testicle massage in the shower. It helps with circulation and disperses stored sexual energy.” (28:34)
Breathing Techniques: “Conscious breathing—inhale on three strokes and exhale longer—can help control ejaculation.” (32:38)
Perineum Control: “Pulling up on the perineum while breathing can help redirect sexual energy upwards, aiding in longer-lasting performances.” (34:03)
Dietary Adjustments: Gordon advises reducing meat consumption to improve circulation and hormonal balance, stating, “Cut back on the meat. Try it for a month and see how your erection quality improves.” (30:15)
She emphasizes the importance of mutual exploration and vulnerability in relationships, advocating for practices like yoni and lingam massages to foster deeper connections and better sexual compatibility.
Addressing concerns about sexual compatibility and anatomical differences, Gordon discusses the significance of both partners being aware of their own and each other's bodies. She categorizes penis sizes into small (4-5 inches), medium (5-6 inches), and large (7-9 inches) (40:15), and explains how mismatches can lead to unsatisfying sexual experiences.
Gordon suggests that compatibility isn't solely about size but also about the fit between the size and shape of both partners. She offers strategies to navigate these differences, emphasizing communication and mutual adaptation to ensure fulfilling intimate encounters.
Later in the episode, the conversation shifts to more personal and political topics. Gordon shares her experiences debating figures like Destiny and linked her political stance to her beliefs about personal empowerment and societal norms. While this segment diverges from the main focus on sexuality, it provides listeners with a broader understanding of Gordon’s perspectives and experiences.
As the episode wraps up, Gordon promotes her upcoming book, "Unfuck Your Sex Life: Unleashing Passion and Intimacy for an Orgasmic Relationship," and her retreat in Morocco, encouraging listeners to invest in their sexual and spiritual growth through her programs.
Janelle Gordon [02:31]: “When you have sex, you shut down. You leave your body, you don't know you're there.”
Janelle Gordon [03:57]: “Conscious sexuality is bringing the God into sex. You can use sex to go beyond sex to get to God.”
Janelle Gordon [05:08]: “Climax is the McDonald's of climax for women. It’s fast, up and down, and very similar to a masculine climax.”
Janelle Gordon [16:24]: “No fapping is like putting a morbidly obese person on a diet for Thanksgiving. It doesn't solve the underlying problem.”
Janelle Gordon [34:03]: “Pulling up on the perineum while breathing can help redirect sexual energy upwards, aiding in longer-lasting performances.”
Janelle Gordon [40:15]: “Think about the size and shape of the yoni that you're paired with. It’s not just about how long or thick you are.”
Conscious and Sacred Sexuality: Emphasizes the spiritual connection during intimate moments, going beyond physical pleasure to achieve a state of oneness and divine consciousness.
Overcoming Shame: Addressing societal and personal shame is crucial for sexual healing and genuine intimacy.
Techniques for Men: Practices like testicle massage, conscious breathing, and perineum control can enhance sexual performance and endurance.
Sexual Compatibility: Understanding and adapting to each partner’s anatomical differences leads to more fulfilling sexual relationships.
Educational Empowerment: Both partners must engage in self-exploration and open communication to cultivate deeper sexual connections.
Holistic Approach: Diet, lifestyle, and energy management play significant roles in sexual health and fulfillment.
Janelle Gordon’s Book: Unfuck Your Sex Life: Unleashing Passion and Intimacy for an Orgasmic Relationship
Retreat Information: Upcoming retreat in Morocco (Link in Episode Description)
Additional Content: Janelle offers various courses and resources on conscious sexuality and tantric practices.
This episode of Digital Social Hour serves as a comprehensive guide for those seeking to transform their sexual experiences through spiritual practices, self-awareness, and mutual intimacy. Janelle Gordon’s expertise provides listeners with practical tools to overcome shame, enhance sexual fulfillment, and build deeper, more meaningful connections with their partners.
All timestamped quotes and references are based on the provided transcript.