Wes Austin: Why Filing a Patent Is Way More Expensive Than You Think | DSH #1739

Summary

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Digital Social Hour – Episode Summary

Wes Austin: Why Filing a Patent Is Way More Expensive Than You Think | DSH #1739

Podcast: Digital Social Hour
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Wes Austin (Comedian, Lawyer, Former Engineer)
Date: January 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

Sean Kelly welcomes Wes Austin—unique for being a lawyer and working stand-up comedian—for a wide-ranging, unfiltered conversation. They dive deep into the real costs and challenges behind filing patents, Wes's unorthodox career path, the worlds of comedy and law, UFOs, conspiracy theories, Big Tech, politics, media, and even their mutual love of desserts. The episode delivers bold perspectives on the legal and entrepreneurial reality of intellectual property alongside discussions about public trust, media, and personal motivation.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

Wes Austin’s Unusual Career Journey

• Wes started as an electrical engineer, became a lawyer, and eventually pursued comedy.
  • "I was an electrical engineer first... then law school and then comedian after." (01:05)
• Challenges of moving between such different fields and the difficulty of starting stand-up:
  • "It took me forever to finally get out and actually do it...I was just too scared to do it before." (01:13, 02:25)
  • His very first open mic didn't bomb, thanks to a friendly audience, but he bombed a lot after: "But then after that, I bombed hard for a really, really long time." (02:30)

Comedy & Humiliation

• Shared stories of on-stage bombs and awkward jokes (e.g., the infamous "jock check" joke).
  • "It ate it so hard. Everybody was just so uncomfortable...I didn't dare try that bit for, like, three years." (03:26)
• Worst set involved being upstaged by a service dog: "The dog is getting more laughs than I am...bring the dog back!" (20:10)

Patent Law – Realities and Myths

• Filing a patent is extremely expensive and time-consuming:
  • "You're probably really looking between like 10 and $15,000 to get filed ... then if you're gonna try to get something through the patent office, you're looking at another 5 to 10, 15, even $20,000 on top of that." (33:33, 33:49)
• Patent prosecution can take years with recurring back-and-forth with the USPTO:
  • "It'll take years to finally get through because you'll get their little thing. You'll send your arguments...might be three, four, five months before you hear back again." (34:45)
• Secret or sensitive patents may be seized by the government via secrecy orders, but sometimes U.S. "UFO patents" are oddly public (08:09–09:05).

Notable Quote

• "I really hate to see somebody spending a lot of money if it's not gonna be something that's gonna be valuable, because I've been doing it long enough that I know I don't want them to be mad at the end." (35:23)

The Patents that Change Lives

• Stories about people whose patents pay generational wealth—the guest's teacher, Mr. Valdez:
  • “One patent can change your life...the guy had a pet monkey, lived in a mansion like, that dude's a legend.” (06:07–06:20)

Conspiracy Theories & Government Secrecy

• Discussion of government handling of secret tech, UFOs, and the prevalence of conspiracy theories, especially regarding fake news and psyops:
  • "If it's truly something that's secret and you want to keep confidential...the government will grab it when you file it...for a secrecy order." (07:51)
  • On the explosion of government-related narrative flips: “They do kind of go from a wild 180 from, 'None of it's real...This is gases from the swamp,' to, 'Yeah, we're actually going to have hearings.'” (12:32)
  • Social media makes spreading misinformation or psyops extremely easy and fast. (14:04–14:13)

Comedy, Politics, and Media

• Wes keeps politics out of his stand-up sets but creates conservative-leaning current events jokes for social media.
  • "So my comedy, I try to just keep away from any politics, but my ... Instagram and YouTube are pretty much just news events. And then I do some kind of conservative spin joke on it." (14:31)
• Reflections on recent media cancellations and polarization (Stephen Colbert, Howard Stern).
  • “He used to be so edgy...then he just started hating Trump out of nowhere.” (25:23–25:35)

The Real Impact of Lawsuits

• Lawsuits are almost always more stressful and costly than expected:
  • "Usually in lawsuits, both parties end up really mad...it costs a lot of money and it's really stressful." (18:17)

AI's Impact on Law and Professional Work

• AI is rapidly changing the legal field—even replacing paralegal and lawyer tasks in some firms:
  • “All this AI is actually, I think, taking out white collar, more professional jobs...that's what it's good at.” (32:10)
• Using ChatGPT as a first legal review, sometimes before even contacting a lawyer:
  • “Now I get a contract, I run it through Chat GPT first before I even send it to my lawyer...” (31:29)
• AI patent lawyers on the horizon: "Their bill is like $7 instead of 4,000..." (33:26)

Deep State, Power, and Corruption

• Conversation on the “deep state,” secretive elite organizations, and disillusionment with government transparency.
  • “You should never trust them. They are always gonna be there. Always some other agenda that they don't tell you about.” (12:54)
• Power and money as corrupting forces in government and professional life:
  • “Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.” (41:22)

Personal Wealth, Fulfillment, and Motivation

• Both discuss how financial jumps brought less fulfillment at the higher tiers:
  • "You could have a billion dollars, still wouldn’t be enough." (41:43)
  • "The higher you go, the incremental enjoyment that you get is getting smaller and smaller." (42:32)

Lifestyle, Food, and Personal Habits

• Cookie and cheesecake preferences, the importance of moderation, and what “success” buys in daily life.
  • "I'm kind of into cookies. I do these little cookie review things once a week." (43:25)
  • “If you like food, do you like cookies? … Because I'm kind of into cookies.” (43:18)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Wes on imposter syndrome in comedy:
  "Most of the time, probably 75% of the time, I think I did horribly. Just terrible. And I probably should quit." (20:36)
• Sean on the cost/benefit of lawsuits:
  "Even if you win...You still gotta collect it. There's a lot of people that never collect their winnings." (18:29)
• Wes on AI and legal jobs:
  "Why would you call a lawyer when you can ask Chat GPT and it'll tell you?" (32:14)
• Wes on the deep state:
  “There's definitely some kind of set of people that just seem to have a ton of power.” (39:17)
• Sean on media polarization:
  "You can't really do that at that level. Alienate 50% of the population." (26:16)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:42 – Introduction of Wes Austin and his unique combination of law and comedy
• 01:05 – Wes’s career progression: engineer → lawyer → comedian
• 02:25 – First steps into comedy, web series “The IP Section”
• 03:26 – Wes’s infamous "jock check" bit and early bombing
• 06:07 – Story about Mr. Valdez, a teacher who struck it rich with a patent
• 08:09 – Government “UFO patents” and secrecy orders
• 09:49 – UFO sightings in Wes’s hometown
• 10:32 – Bigfoot & credibility in paranormal reports
• 14:31 – Blending comedy with news and politics online
• 18:17 – The true cost and stress of lawsuits
• 33:33 – The breakdown of patent filing costs
• 34:45 – Patent prosecution’s time demands
• 36:06 – Wes's work on NSA secure communications (the 90s tech scene)
• 41:22 – Money, fulfillment, and ever-shifting satisfaction
• 43:18 – Cookie and cheesecake appreciation
• 44:40 – Wes’s favorite comfort food (classic American cuisine)

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Conclusion

This episode delivers both practical, eye-opening realities about the patent process (the costs, the grind, the rare big payoffs, the impact of AI) and the human experience behind professional reinvention—whether in law, standup, or entrepreneurship. Candid, sometimes comedic, sometimes critical, Sean and Wes navigate modern anxieties—about tech, wealth, government, and meaning—with a bluntness that will resonate with anyone curious about the high-stakes world of ideas and the challenge of staying true to yourself.

Follow Wes on Instagram (@WesleyAustin2) and YouTube (WesAustin) for both his comedy and current events commentary.

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Transcript

[A]

So what's the difference with those two? You said the first one was $15,000. That's just file a patent.

[B]

There's going to be a big upfront cost to just prepare and file it. And then it sits in the patent office for a while. They'll finally pick it up and they do a search and then they start what's called prosecution, where they'll send you a document saying, we don't think your things patentable for these reasons. And then you go back and forth for a few months or a few years trying to get them to take that long. In some areas, yeah. It'll take years to finally get through because you'll get their little thing. You'll send your arguments and then it might be three, four, five months before you hear back again. And then you'll do the whole thing over again and go back and forth.

[A]

We got Wesley Austin, comedian and a lawyer. I've never heard of that combination, so well done.

[B]

The killer combo.

[A]

Yeah. It's like two opposite worlds.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You got to be super logical in one world can't crack a joke, and then other world's opposite.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. There's not a lot of crossover.

[A]

Not at all. Which one came first? A lawyer, right?

[B]

Yeah, lawyer. Actually, I was an electrical engineer first.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Then law school and then comedian after.

[A]

Damn. Well done. I don't think a lot of people can make that transition. Dude.

[B]

It was. I don't know if I've made it fully. I'm trying, but it's not easy.

[A]

So have you always had, like, a humorous side to you, though, even when you were a lawyer?

[B]

I think so. I mean, I tried to, but I just, you know, beginning of my career, I was too scared to go try open mic and try it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it took me forever to finally get out and actually do it. I kind of started by doing this web series, which is just. It was big and crazy, but it kind of. I had to do something insane to get me out and start trying to do it.

[A]

So what was that?

[B]

And that got me going. It's called the IP section, and hardly anybody's seen it, but it was basically, you know, instead of buying a nice Porsche, which most lawyers would do, I spent it all on the most expensive home video you can imagine.

[A]

So you had a whole video team and everything?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. We had a crew and rented space to film in and everything. And I look back and I think that was crazy, but it's almost like I had to have some big, you know, dream big shot to get me out of the door. And then I realized, like, oh, I'm not supposed to start like, that. I need to go to open mic.

[A]

And that makes sense.

[B]

But it kind of got me going. I was just too scared to do it before.

[A]

Did you bomb your first open mic?

[B]

You know, the very first one, Everybody was really nice, and so I didn't bomb. But then after that, I bombed hard for a really, really long time.

[A]

And that didn't make you quit?

[B]

It made me. Sometimes I was too scared to get out of the car and go in that would just sit and just. I can't do it. I remember I had one. One joke I thought would be hilarious, which just killed me, was I. You know, when I was in school, in junior high gym class, we had to do a jock check. Did you. Did you guys do that?

[A]

No. What is that?

[B]

So you had to wear your jock, and the teacher had to check and make sure you had it on. And so people did see. Yeah. And I thought it would be funny. And so. But so you'd. At the beginning of gym class, you'd have to line up and he'd go around and check, and you'd either have to pull the little thing and snap it so he could hear that you. Or you had to pull your shorts down and show the front. I thought that would be funny. And it ate it so hard. Everybody was just so uncomfortable. And I didn't dare try that bit for, like, three years after.

[A]

Jeez. And then you brought it back.

[B]

And then I brought it back, and I would get some laughs with it. But that. That was a.

[A]

It's like a dad joke.

[B]

When I think about that set, I almost. It just gives me the Ouija jeebies. Like, it was so.

[A]

Yeah. Because my generation can't relate to that. We never got that test done on us.

[B]

I hope it wasn't just my small town. We're just like. Our PE teacher was like, what? Yeah, we need to do a jock check on all of you boys. Let's line up. And then, you know, this was a.

[A]

Public school or what?

[B]

Yeah. Junior high school.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What time was that? Put him on blast right now.

[B]

I think it was in the 80s. Yeah. But I swear, I have heard of other people. They had a jog check, too. So I don't think we were the only ones, but maybe we were.

[A]

What sport were you guys even playing for that?

[B]

It was just regular gym class. So it would be like, we're gonna play horse, or we're gonna, like, run around and do flag Football. It was very important that you were wearing a jock.

[A]

Wow. I don't know what to say to that one.

[B]

Wait, they did shower checks, too, where they had. Because you had to shower, they didn't want you to smell, so they had to make sure you would shower. So they would check to make sure you showered.

[A]

This school sounds very suspect to me. Dude, they did not do that at my school. No one gave a shit about it or not.

[B]

I'm sure they stopped doing that probably when they figured out, this is pretty messed up. We probably shouldn't be doing this.

[A]

Yeah. You guys are 14 years old. So they're literally walking in the shower.

[B]

Yeah. He would walk through and, like, with a clipboard just kind of. That's crazy. And sometimes I think they would check just if your head was wet when you would leave. If he was lazy.

[A]

That is nuts. Yeah, that would. There'd be so many lawsuits these days.

[B]

Can you imagine? Yeah.

[A]

And you're a lawyer now, so what type of law you specialize in? Patents.

[B]

Yeah. Patents.

[A]

That's your main thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are some of the coolest patents you've filed from your recollection?

[B]

I mean, most of my stuff that I do is really boring. Embedded wireless stuff. So it helps your phone last a little bit longer or pack a little bit more data in. It's nothing too sexy or exciting. Usually if I talk about it, you'll probably be asleep in, like, two minutes. But.

[A]

Yeah. One of my high school teachers patented something that Apple ended up buying, and it's used in every iPhone, and the guy was worth, like, nine figures. He just taught for fun, and I'll never forget that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because he just was a beast. One. One patent can change your life.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, the guy had, like, a pet monkey, lived in a mansion like, that dude's a legend. Shout out to Mr. Valdez, I think was his name.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You'll hear of, like, one patent selling for just a fortune.

[A]

And. Yeah, because he gets a broken on every single iPhone, so can you imagine that?

[B]

He's got to be killing it.

[A]

Killing it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Shout out to him, man, I'm a text you. I still got your number. And everyone. All the students made fun of him, man. I felt bad for him, you know, because he was. He was. He was. Yay. And I feel like 10 years ago, you really got made fun of for that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Depending on where you grew up, I guess. But, yeah, it wasn't as accepted.

[B]

Yeah, well, he was. He was also nerd. I'm guessing he was Nerdy.

[A]

Super nerdy. Graduated number one in his class from Columbia, which is an Ivy. One of the best Ivy Leagues. And to be number one at that school is. You got to be a nerd to the max.

[B]

Yeah. And to come up with something that the guys that Apple didn't already come up with is. Yeah, yeah, he's got to be pretty.

[A]

Yeah. But as a high schooler, you're just making fun of everything, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now, I. I can respect that. That's. That dude's a legend for sure.

[B]

But.

[A]

Yeah, one patent, man. I want to start a patent one day. I don't know what for, but I just want to say I have one. You know what I mean? It's like a flex.

[B]

Yeah. Well, some people will file just because they want to have, you know, a patent with their name on it.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you never know. Someone could buy it too, down their own.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Decent idea.

[B]

Yeah. Well, there's. And there's some weird ones out there that I don't know if you've.

[A]

I've come across weird ones. The government owns some weird ones. If we want to go the conspiracy route.

[B]

The UFO ones. Yeah, yeah, I've seen those.

[A]

What are those about?

[B]

Well, okay, the weird thing with the government weird UFO patents is that, you know, if it's truly something that's secret and you want to keep confidential, they'll, like. The government will grab it Right. When you file it and say there's going to be a secrecy order on this because we don't want this getting out to anybody.

[A]

Oh, wow. They could do that for any patent.

[B]

Yeah. So. Yeah, so the fact that that didn't happen on those.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

Yeah, it's really weird. Did they not. So I don't know. What if they were just somebody that had this weird idea and they let them file it because it didn't really have anything to do with anything.

[A]

It's either negligence or just. They want it there for a reason, Right.

[B]

Yeah. Or they wanted people to see it, but they really weren't trying to hide anything in it, or they would have issued the secrecy order and had the thing under wraps so that you couldn't see it. Yeah, because I looked at one of those, and it was really hardly anything there. And usually something like that, it's gonna be pages and pages and pages of just stuff to try to describe to you how you'd build this thing. And that one was, I mean, really short, which is, there's no way I can build a UFO from what this thing Is I just read. Right. I can't build this thing that defines. I don't know if it was a gravity. I don't remember exactly.

[A]

Like a hovercraft.

[B]

It was some. Yeah. And I thought, I'm not gonna be able to build this from this thing. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Speaking of UFOs, the town you grew up in that you mentioned earlier with the weird high school, had some UFO sightings.

[B]

Yeah. So I grew up believing in Bigfoot and UFOs, because we had sightings of both. But our town, Tremont in Utah, it had one. A really famous UFO sighting back around 1950, which is there's, like, I don't know, a dozen small little objects.

[A]

That's before Roswell, I think. Right. Or is it out there?

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

You might have to look it up. But that sounds early.

[B]

Really, really early. And they actually had footage of the UFOs, which is incredible back then.

[A]

Wow. How'd they get footage?

[B]

Somebody had some old camera and they actually had some footage of it. So you can look it up. It doesn't look too impressive because they're just some little dots. But it's a really famous UFO sighting that goes way back. I. And I think the CIA even talked about it and did an assessment on it, so.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And did you see any when you were out there?

[B]

No, I didn't see anything.

[A]

You didn't see Bigfoot?

[B]

I didn't see Bigfoot, but we had Bigfoot sight when I was in, I think, junior high grade school. Junior high. When I was young, there were a bunch of Bigfoot sightings around Tremont. And now I know, like, there's no.

[A]

Way you don't believe in them.

[B]

I would like to, but I just think it's impossible because you would have found something. You'd have found, you know, we haven't found anything, so I can't imagine it's real, but part of me is like. But it would be kind of fun. But there were a number of sightings, and I knew some of the people who said they saw it, and they. I mean, I trust them. So it was incredible. Yeah. They're credible. So it's not like a weirdo who says, like, hey, I saw.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, my thing was alien.

[B]

That came down. But these people were trustworthy. I thought, this is weird because I don't think he's real, but dang it, these guys are saying they saw one.

[A]

And that's. That's my thing. When tens of thousands, sometimes hundreds of thousands of people all say similar events without knowing each Other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's going on with that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? With aliens, with Bigfoot, there's something. It can't just be all bs.

[B]

Yeah. There's got to be something there. It's just too bizarre to have that many all over the world sightings like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And some of the ones in, like, Africa with the UFO stuff are nuts. Like, hundreds of people all in the same area reporting the same thing that don't know each other.

[B]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

Like those to me. Why would hundreds of people lie?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

And now. I mean, now you've got such good technology to fake it that whenever I see something on X or whatever, I'm like, yeah, I don't think that could. You know.

[A]

But the Miami one was fake for sure. The one at the mall.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Okay. I think that was one of the ones. Yeah.

[A]

Project Bluebeam is a real thing. You know what that is?

[B]

No.

[A]

It's fake alien invasions and fake aliens by the government to distract people.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. It's a project.

[B]

And is that. Did that kind of morph out of the earlier UFO projects they had?

[A]

I don't know when it started, but it's a known thing that there's going to be some fake alien invasions and fake alien sightings to distract people. Now you see Congress talking about UFOs, and you got to ask yourself, is that intentional or do they actually care?

[B]

Yeah, well, they did. I mean, they do kind of go from a wild 180from. None of it's real. You guys are insane. These are gases from the swamp. This is to. Yeah, we're actually going to have hearings. And they're real. And so it is whatever caused that flip to. All of a sudden.

[A]

It was a 180.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't know, the government might say, well, you caught us. And so now we're going to tell the truth. Like, you're the government. I don't ever trust you're going to tell the truth. The one thing I've. That the older I've gotten, the more I've learned. The government. You should never trust them. They are always gonna be there. Always some other agenda that they don't tell you about. And so. Yeah, what's the real agenda on? Why are you guys saying now it's. It's real. Unless it's some kind of psyop. Right. To make us think something's real. I don't know.

[A]

A lot of psyops these days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When I'm scrolling on Social media, I'm spotting them every, like, 10 scrolls is a new psyop. Like, all right, what are they trying to program me into believing with this one?

[B]

Well, when you hear that the CIA was, like, planting news events in the press that were false, that they wanted people to believe certain things, you're like, yeah, that's absolutely what the government would do. They would absolutely want to do certain things that weren't true, but they want the country or some country to believe something. So, yeah, they drop it.

[A]

Yeah. You can spread information so quickly these days with social media. It's like you can paint a false narrative probably within an hour these days. That would be mainstream.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's pretty nuts.

[B]

It's crazy how fast that thing will just like.

[A]

Yeah, it's like wildfire. People don't watch the news anymore. They just scroll on social media. You know you dive into politics somewhat, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you cover it on your comedy sets too, or.

[B]

No, no. So my comedy, I try to just keep away from any politics, but my. My Instagram and YouTube are pretty much just news events. And then I do some kind of conservative spin joke on it.

[A]

You've always been conservative?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Trump. Trump. 20. 24.

[B]

Heck, yes.

[A]

28, maybe.

[B]

I highly doubt it. That's because he can only do two terms. But I think. I think he's trolling people when he says he's gonna. I think he's most recently said he's not gonna run again, but I think when he said he was or when he hinted, I swear he was just trolling people. Cause it's like, you can't. You can only have two.

[A]

But how do you feel like he's done so far in his second term?

[B]

Overall, I mean, I'm happy with where he's at so far. I mean, we've had, you know, crap, tons of lawsuits to stop almost everything, which I guess is expected just because that's what's gonna happen. But I've been happy with what they've been trying to do so far.

[A]

Yeah. The amount of legal. They call it lawfare.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The amount of lawfare he deals with is just mind blowing. Like, one lawsuit wrecked my mental health for like a month. I can't even imagine what he gets served every two hours, probably.

[B]

Yeah. Can you imagine? I know it's. Well, I'm the same way. If I get some kind of notice, I'm like, then I can't think about something.

[A]

Oh, even you as a lawyer?

[B]

Yeah, I've had the same. Yeah, I. I was involved in One of my family members, divorces I got pulled into, and it was.

[A]

Oh, they came after. How did that work?

[B]

Well, I was involved with the business in any way, and so we got pulled in, but that was. I didn't like that at all. I mean, that was stressing me out.

[A]

I mean, yeah, dude, it could wreck your life.

[B]

And there was a patent infringement case once going on where they wanted to take my deposition, which I didn't like that. That wasn't cool.

[A]

Wait, they could take your deposition?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. How does that work? They wanted to. So they, you know, subpoenaed me. Took my deposition to ask me questions about a patent that I'd worked on. Oh, yeah. I hate lawyers too, is what I'm saying. They're the worst.

[A]

I mean, the litigators, right? The litigators, yeah.

[B]

The litigators are like, I mostly do preparation and prosecution of patents. So I'm. I'm kind of just a nerd.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With a law degree. So I'm harmless. I. I can't really.

[A]

Yeah. There's different types of lawyers. I don't want to group them all into. Into one category, but some of these litigators, man, just. You get an email from them, it ruins your week.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know, they make money off your demise. So it's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kind of like a.

[B]

And they're the. They're the lawyers that, you know, drive the really nice fancy cars and just their egos are.

[A]

Yeah. You see them on the billboards? Yeah, yeah. All over Vegas.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are they up here on the salt lake? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everywhere. Yeah. They like being seen. Like, the attention.

[B]

I think I got into a courtroom a couple of times and for nothing. But I didn't know anything about anything because I'm a prosecutor. And I remember I didn't even know which side to sit on, like. Cause nobody tells you. They just go. Yeah. You go to the planning meeting, it'll be fine. And I'm like. And I go in there. Nobody's there, so I don't know where I'm supposed to sit, what's gonna happen.

[A]

That's nut.

[B]

They never had me go again. But. Yeah. Anyway, I don't make my way into courtrooms hardly ever.

[A]

Yeah. Why would you, man?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even if you're the one suing, it's just so stressful. Like, you'd have to have an open and shut case for me to go that route ever. Like, I'd have to have a lot of evidence on you.

[B]

Yeah. Like, most of the people I talk to say that usually in lawsuits, both parties end up really mad. I mean, just because it costs a lot of money and it's really stressful and it's.

[A]

And even if you win, this is what people don't know. You still got to collect it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a lot of people that never collect their winnings. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. They get a judgment, and then they can't get actually the judgment.

[A]

Yeah. Because even if you get a judgment, you need the bank account. You need the right information, and if that guy's smart, they put all their money in a trust or other businesses.

[B]

Yeah. You know, it's offshore somewhere, whatever.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. If you're suing someone personally, like, the odds of you getting that are pretty slim.

[B]

Yeah. It's gonna be a long. It's gonna be a long road to get that.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. Where are you performing at lately, though?

[B]

A lot in Salt Lake when I. I've had to take a little bit of a break because my work got busy and I'm trying to keep up with my videos, but usually just Salt Lake. Around Salt Lake or Ogden or maybe South Jordan.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You've gotten a lot better, I'd imagine by now.

[B]

I'm better than when I started. I hope.

[A]

They say it takes 10 years in comedy. I've had Nikki Glaser on in a couple big comedians.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

They all said they had a grind for a while.

[B]

That's cool. Yeah, it's. It's had some pretty bad experiences on stage before.

[A]

What's the worst? You get a lot of hecklers.

[B]

Not too. Not too many hecklers. But there was one time when I was at a place in Park City doing a set, and hardly anybody. There was a bar. Hardly anybody there, but there was a service dog. And so I was trying to, you know, do my comedy right. And it's not going well. And this service dog goes up on stage and starts smelling me, sniffing the crotch area, and that's getting some laughs. So the dog is getting more laughs than I am. Right. And I'm trying to perform while I'm getting sniffed by the dog. And then when the dog leaves, some random dude in the back yells out, bring the dog back. Yeah. So that was.

[A]

That's rough.

[B]

That was rough. That's.

[A]

You're resilient for not quitting after that one.

[B]

Oh, that was terrible.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I always wondered how these guys stick it through it. You know what I mean? These comedians.

[B]

It's brutal because most of the time, probably 75% of the time, I think I did horribly. Just terrible. And I probably should quit. And, yeah, it's so rough. And so the next half week, I'm always just like, go. That was the worst thing ever. I don't know why. I'm just terrible at this.

[A]

I wonder why you keep doing it. Do you think it's like, you want to prove yourself type of thing, or.

[B]

I think. I think, like, no, I think I'm funny. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna keep trying it, even though the audience disagrees every time I go up. But most of the time, I go up.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's all about, you could be funny. But it's the delivery, I feel like that's equally as important, Right?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, totally. Totally.

[A]

Because we could be funny just sitting around talking. But to do it on stage is different.

[B]

Yeah. And I think I get a little anxious. I get anxious. Yeah.

[A]

I think everyone does. Even the top people I talk to get anxious.

[B]

That's good to hear.

[A]

It's about controlling it, Right?

[B]

Yeah. And I'm still.

[A]

I feel a little bit of, well, public fear. The biggest fear in the world is public speaking. That's been proven. That's the number one fear people have across the whole world. So it's just not an easy thing for people. I hate it, too, honestly. And I'm a podcaster, but I get asked to speak at events, and it's kind of uncomfortable, you know?

[B]

And do you. Once you get started, does it usually go away immediately?

[A]

As soon as the first word leaves my mouth, it's all in your head. That's what I realized. Cause I used to be on Xanax, I used to have terrible anxiety. And before I would talk on stage, I'd have to pop, like, three of them.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And the problem with that was it would kill your emotion. So then you're talking like a robot on stage. Shout out to today's sponsor, Quints. As the weather cools, I'm swapping in the pieces that actually gets the job done. That are warm, durable, and built to last. Quinn's delivers every time with wardrobe staples that'll carry you through the season. They have fall staples that you'll actually want to wear, like the 100% Mongolian cashmere for just $60. They also got classic fit denim and real leather and wool outerwear that looks sharp and holds up. By partnering directly with ethical factories and top artisans, Quince cuts out the middleman to deliver premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. They've really become a go to across the board. You guys know how I linen and how I've talked about it on previous episodes. I picked up some linen pants and they feel incredible. The quality is definitely noticeable compared to other brands. Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quint.comdsh for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. They're also available in Canada, too. You been on Xanax before?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. So yeah, it basically kills your emotion. You're like a straight robot. No emotion at all. So that would just affect my talk said. I'm just speaking robotically.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I had to stop doing that. But it was tough, dude. Yeah, I'm all natural now. Some people got to get drunk before they go on stage. Oh, yeah, I know that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was that you?

[B]

No, no, I didn't. But I've heard of comedians who do that. And the problem is they kind of get into the thing where they always have to get a little bit of a buzz before they get on.

[A]

So that confidence.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's a tough one. Because alcohol, I feel like, is tricky. You can either get too drunk or not drunk enough. It's hard to gauge it. Right. I would think because it depends on your stomach. Like if you're on an empty stomach or if you ate a lot, you got to drink differently.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you drink at all or you're so.

[B]

No, I'm. Yeah. Diet Coke is the hardest thing I usually will have. Yeah.

[A]

Good for you, man. You're committed. I respect that. Your recent video, I saw you called out Stephen Colbert. Colbert, Is that his name?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Colbert.

[A]

Yeah. His show got canceled.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did you think of that?

[B]

I mean, I thought. I used to like Stephen Colbert and think he was funny back when he would do the Colbert Report, you know, with the Daily show, with Jon Stewart. But since he's been on the Late show, it was just. He's just so one sided politically that it was just driving me nuts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he had so many, you know, lefty politicians on his show that I thought, is this a Meet the Press thing on Sunday morning or are you like a late night talk show host? What's going on? Because he was, you know, aoc, Pelosi, Karine, Jeffrey, the whole laundry list of those people. That's who he was having. And I just thought, you're just ruining. And he did so.

[A]

He did also. Howard Stern did.

[B]

Oh, yeah, he just got canceled.

[A]

He was making what was 100 million a year. Yeah, $100 million. A year. And he went against Trump and lost a big chunk of his audience. Bad move.

[B]

I don't know why. Like, he used to be so edgy, and then he's just kind of.

[A]

Yeah, that. That was weird to me, because he was probably the edgiest of all time.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And then he just started hating Trump out of nowhere.

[B]

Just. Yeah. And. Well. And Trump. Trump followers, Trump fans. He said, like, I don't necessarily hate Trump, but I hate all of the people who voted for Trump.

[A]

That was the dumbest statement of all time. Possibly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it cost him a billion dollars.

[B]

He has he. When I last looked at it, they thought he was gonna lose his show because of money. I don't know if that's official yet or not.

[A]

I don't know if they officially announced it, but that's the word on the street, so I think it's. I saw a few press outlets report on it, so that. That's a major deal, man. SiriusXM. He would have ended up making probably a billion dollars over the longevity of his show. He already made a lot, which is the good part for him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. You can't really do that at that level. Alienate 50% of the population.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I have on both sides on my show. Even though I'm conservative, I like to get both sides of voice, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Which I think from what you're doing, that totally makes sense, because then you can get people hearing both sides of things, and then they can decide, you know, whatever.

[A]

That's my goal. Yeah. Like, I'll film in la. New York City, super liberal. And then I'll go to, like, some conservative city. What's a conservative city? Like, maybe Miami.

[B]

Salt Lake, I would think. You know, Salt Lake is one of these weird places where it's, like, entirely red state, but Salt Lake City is so.

[A]

It's like Austin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what the percentage is. Like, Maybe. I'm guessing 60% democratic folks got it. Maybe 40 in. In salt Lake. But then when you get out, it's like.

[A]

Well, that's how a lot of major cities are, actually.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cities are overall Blue. I think 80% of them.

[B]

It seems like any big city just turns blue.

[A]

It's interesting, right? Yeah, super interesting why that is.

[B]

And I don't know why that happens like that.

[A]

Yeah. We need to look into that. Because all the smaller cities are red.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

So that's why we won the popular vote, but the city votes we lost, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

24.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. For sure.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know what's going on with that. Now they're saying Newsom's getting run in 28.

[B]

Yeah, he's. He's acting like it. I mean, he is just the way he's always out there, that his latest thing is imitating Trump on X, you know, with all caps, and he's. I think he's definitely wanting it.

[A]

I don't think he'll win.

[B]

I. Well, the polls a while back had him clearly not in the forefront with the Democrats. I think recently they said he's bumped up higher.

[A]

He's number one on the Democrat.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

On Polymarket right now.

[B]

I just like. With what he's done to California, I just can't imagine that's not going to be such, like an albatross around his neck. Good luck. Yeah, that's. The whole country is just going to be being shown ads about, look at what he did in California. Let's hope that he does it here.

[A]

You know, they got a lot they could use against him, I'll say that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, if you're watching this, you can come on my podcast and we'll talk about it. He's going on a lot of pods, actually.

[B]

Oh, man. If you could get him, that'd be great.

[A]

I definitely can. We found some mutuals, like, Charlie Kirk went on a show. Did you see that?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that.

[A]

That was a good episode. Yeah, he destroyed him.

[B]

I. I thought it was great.

[A]

Yeah. Shout out to Charlie Kirk, man. Have you been to any of Charlie's events?

[B]

No, I would like to go, but I.

[A]

You should go to amfest this year.

[B]

When is that?

[A]

December.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

In Phoenix.

[B]

Are you gonna go?

[A]

Yeah. I film podcasts at his. He has a media row. He just set up and film a bunch of content.

[B]

Okay, cool. I should probably try to do that.

[A]

Yeah, you should.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You could film some episodes there, get your views up.

[B]

Yeah, I'd love that.

[A]

You're already getting a lot, though. Saw your analytics. Well done, man.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Well done.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Did that take off right away.

[B]

When I started doing anything news related, I finally started getting a little bit of traction. Before that when I was just trying to be funny, it was. I wasn't really getting anything, but I noticed when I started doing any kind of current event thing with humor, I started getting a little bit of traction, so I just kind of leaned into that more.

[A]

I was actually on Apple podcast yesterday, just scrolling through the categories and I clicked on the news one. All the biggest shows were under that One, to be honest.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like Candace, Tucker, Charlie. I think the news category gets a ton of views.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, so that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As long as you're putting the videos up quickly.

[B]

Yeah. And that's like, my turnaround is nuts because it's pretty much morning, read the news, try to find some stuff I want to talk about. Shoot. Shoot it, edit it, post it that night.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Just because I know I'm smaller, and for me to have any chance of getting views, I've got to get it out just immediately.

[A]

It's all you that does everything.

[B]

I have someone who helps me edit, and then I have someone who helps me write a little bit. But I am doing a lion show.

[A]

Well, well done. To, like, embrace social media, you know, at your age, I feel like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, thank you.

[A]

I don't know how old you are, but I feel like it's a younger man's game, you know?

[B]

Yeah. I'm trying to get in there with the kids.

[A]

And respect to you as a lawyer for doing it, too, because I know lawyers are kind of old school. Like my. I know some lawyers, they still run billboard ads. They still run, like, weird ads in newspapers and magazines.

[B]

Yeah. And I think some of the older lawyers like the hard copy files. You know, they'll have the stack of files that they want to touch it and feel it, you know?

[A]

What do you think of that?

[B]

It makes me just think these guys are gonna lose something. Because I'm used to, you know, folders and electronic folders and files and everything you can search and find. So when it's a hard copy.

[A]

Yeah. What if a fire happens or if.

[B]

A janitor comes in and moves the pile? You're just screwed because you can't find it now. I mean, it's not where you had it.

[A]

Come on, man. DocuSign, that's the way to go these days.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I love all that.

[A]

Kind of. I love DocuSign. I don't like signing shit in person. Just email it to me.

[B]

Yeah. You just pretty much just tap it with your finger and you're all good.

[A]

Well, now I get a contract. I run it through Chat GPT first before I even send it to my lawyer. So I'll run it through ChatGPT. I say, identify all the ways I can be screwed over and provide red line, red line suggestions for me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then I send that to my lawyer.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Yeah. Saves me a ton of money. Saves me a ton of time. And also myself, I could see what I need to work on. Too.

[B]

Yeah. Nice.

[A]

Cause sometimes your lawyer doesn't know exactly what you want.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's wild how when people were first seeing about this technology, they thought, you know, blue collar people might be losing jobs and all this AI is actually, I think you're taking out white collar, more professional jobs because that's what it's good at.

[A]

Yeah, it's replacing surgeons, replacing lawyers.

[B]

Yeah. Like, why would you call a lawyer when you can ask CHAT GPT and it'll tell you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I know a lot of law firms not even hiring paralegals now they're hiring kids that can use ChatGPT.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that saves them a lot of money. Isn't that crazy?

[B]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. It sucks to, like, imagine if you spent like eight years in law school and now you're entering the market with AI.

[B]

That'd be so brutal.

[A]

Terrible timing, right?

[B]

Yeah. It's like, I can ask this thing and it'll spit back an entire set of arguments for something and cost me hardly anything. You're gonna cost me how much? Yeah, that's nuts.

[A]

Is it affecting the patent law space at all yet?

[B]

I haven't noticed it yet. And I'm hoping that's just because I hope we have a little bit of a niche. Just because by definition, it has to be some new invention that you don't know about yet. So it would be harder for AI to describe it, but I'm sure that that's probably right around the corner and I'm just trying to think positive.

[A]

No, you're right, though. Imagine if it gets to the point where you could file a patent with an AI lawyer.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

That'd be nuts.

[B]

That'd be nuts. AI lawyer. Like a law firm of just these different AI entities that you can deal with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And their bill is like $7 instead of 4,000 or something.

[A]

That's what it costs right now to file a patent.

[B]

Oh. If you're gonna file like a US utility patent application, you're probably really looking between like 10 and $15,000 to get filed. I think that's about where you're gonna be at.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

You might be able to get it a little cheaper somewhere, but that's pretty much where you're gonna be.

[A]

I didn't know it was that much.

[B]

Yeah. If you're gonna. And then if you're gonna try to get something through the patent office, you're looking at another 5 to 10, 15, even $20,000 on top of that. Just because a patent examiner can get. If they really dig in their heels. You'll be fighting for quite a while to get something through. So it could cost. It can cost a lot.

[A]

So what's the difference with those two? You said the first one was 15,000. That's just file a patent.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So you'll. There's going to be a big upfront cost to just prepare and file it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then it sits in the patent office for a while. They'll finally pick it up and they do a search and then they start what's called prosecution, where they'll send you a document saying, we don't think your things patentable for these reasons. And then you go back and forth for a few months or a few years.

[A]

Holy crap.

[B]

Trying to get them to.

[A]

It takes that long?

[B]

In some areas. Yeah. It'll take years to finally get through because you'll get their little thing. You'll send your arguments back and then it might be three, four, five months before you hear back again.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you'll do the whole thing over again and go back and forth. Geez.

[A]

And that's just the U.S. right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then you need to file other country.

[B]

And if you're gonna file in other countries, that's gonna be all on top of that.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's a very expensive endeavor.

[B]

It's really expensive. Yeah.

[A]

Interesting. I wonder what percentage of them actually get sold or utilized that.

[B]

I bet you it's a small percentage, but. Yeah.

[A]

So you gotta really be confident then if you're gonna go that route.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I really hate to see somebody spending a lot of money if it's not gonna be something that's gonna be valuable, because I've been doing it long enough that I know I don't want them to be mad at the end. So I really don't want them to do it if it's not gonna be worth it to them.

[A]

Has anyone that went through you actually, like, done something big or sold it or implemented it in a big way with the company?

[B]

No, my stuff's all been kind of incremental things, usually in the middle of cell phones so that it's got it, not some. Anyway, that's. I haven't done anything too amazing that I'm aware of. It's all kind of nerdy stuff embedded in the middle of something.

[A]

Well, you worked on some phones used by the nsa, right? Are you talking about that?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. So back. Yeah. When I was an engineer, I actually worked for a secure telecommunications section and we were making telephones back then for The NSA and government.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. Well, that was probably. What? Then I'm gonna sound really old. I think that was around in the 90s.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But, I mean, these phones were, like, freaking 15, 20 pounds.

[A]

Holy crap.

[B]

Because it. To have the secure channel go. It was. We were all excited because we were doing stuff for government entities, so we had security clearances. So if you had the top security clearance, you could go into the section that was all cordoned off. And if you didn't, you had to stay out here, and you couldn't take anything through this vault door, basically, to go.

[A]

It's like the movies.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was hardcore.

[A]

Did you go to Area 51?

[B]

No, no, I. No. But I did go to Los Alamos once.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, I did have some meetings out there once.

[A]

Whoa. You probably can't talk about that, though.

[B]

No, but it was. Yeah.

[A]

That's crazy. I'm always fascinated with, like, secret bases and underground bases.

[B]

Oh, I was. I wanted to go walk around, but we. I couldn't, but I wanted to.

[A]

I've heard of bases, like, in mountains. Like, you could fly through the mountain and you're in a base. Have you heard of those?

[B]

Is that. I don't know, by area 51 or.

[A]

That might be. That might be Grand Canyon or something. But, like, it looks like a mountain, but it's an illusion. You just fly right into it.

[B]

Now, where is this?

[A]

I don't know. We got to look that one up. But there's all sorts of hidden bases. Apparently, like, they moved Area 51, too, to a bunch of other bases. There was just a fire there.

[B]

In Area 51.

[A]

Yeah, a couple weeks ago. They were saying they were burning evidence. Who knows, man? Conspiracies are fun, but you gotta be careful with those.

[B]

Well, you know when. Yeah, when. What was it? I did a story on this before President Trump got in, but there was a big shredder truck out front of the FBI, I think.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Which is just.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

Well, it's really weird. You got. You guys shouldn't be shredding anything. You work for us.

[A]

Those were the Epstein files.

[B]

Everything you have better be kept and maintained because you. You work for the people. Don't. There's nothing you're gonna shred where it's like. Yeah, good. I'm glad you shredded that. No, I'm not. So that was. I didn't like that.

[A]

That was before Trump got in the second time.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That was the Epstein file.

[B]

That was. So it's definitely no good. Whatever they were Doing was not. So. Yeah, I could. There's a burning some stuff, Area 51. I could see that. Because even when President Trump takes over, you've still got tons of people so embedded in that Deep State machine that they're like, it's going to take him forever to drill down to wherever this little pod of people. They're going to be able to delete stuff, shred stuff.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I believe in the Deep State, to be honest.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

There's a level above the government that pulls the strings.

[B]

Do you think? Okay, I think there's definitely some kind of set of people that just seem to have a ton of power. Do you feel like it's organized and there's a. Like they have some kind of committee to. Like. I've really wondered, is there some committee of people who really do decide what they're going to do, or is it more of a. They just all happen to be power brokers, but they don't really coordinate anything.

[A]

I think both. I think when you look into certain organizations, like the World Economic Forum, stuff like that, I think that's pretty sketchy. The Bohemian Grove meetings, have you looked into that?

[B]

I've heard the. I've heard the name, but I don't really.

[A]

Alex Jones exposed it, like, 10 years ago. He went there. There was a bunch of people dressed up, all sorts of weird stuff, and it was all the elite CEOs across the world. So that's weird.

[B]

That's super weird.

[A]

But I also think it's both. I think there's, like, people like George Soros or whatever, like, trying to call shots by donating money to certain organizations.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, it's a dirty game, but at the end of the day, it's all tied to money.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, for sure.

[A]

When you look back at everything and why people are doing what they're doing, why they're funding wars.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And certain agendas.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you take. Wasn't it almost anybody that seems like they're against war and the military industrial complex. They get elected, and then over a little bit of time, now they're for it every time. It's just happened over and over again.

[A]

Once you see the money in it, it's like.

[B]

It's just so clear that, like, no, once they get in there and they get involved with that and they see the money, all of a sudden they're like, well, we probably should do it here.

[A]

When you look at foreign aid, I mean, think about how much money they make off that.

[B]

Oh, it's it's crazy.

[A]

It's a ludicrous amount.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's. It's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's easy to talk a big game before you have the button to just call shots, I think. And money corrupts everyone absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. That power corrupts power and money. Yeah, yeah. Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And you see lawyers, you see every profession, they get a little power hungry sometimes and. And then it corrupts them. Right. And then you see these lawyers chasing these huge settlements and just getting litigious.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's a dirty game.

[B]

And they always need more.

[A]

It's never enough.

[B]

It's never enough. Even if you said, this is enough, once you hit it, you're like, I was wrong. I really actually need.

[A]

You could have a billion dollars, still wouldn't be enough. That's what I realized because I used to say that, like, when I hit this amount, for me, it was 100k, then it was a million, then it was 10 million. My happiness level never changed, man. But you gotta, like, go through it to realize that.

[B]

And have you gotten to the point where you don't feel like that needs to keep moving, or is it still continuing?

[A]

I still want more, but I'm at the point now where more doesn't impact my life the way it used to. Okay, so, like, the change from, like 100k to millionaire was a big change. Like, you could buy a house, you could take care of all expenses. You don't look at the bill ever at restaurants. But now if I were to make like, a couple extra million, like, what am I gonna spend it on? Like, my life's not gonna change that much, you know what I mean? I already got a really nice house, about to get married, you know? Do you agree with that?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that incremental, the higher you go, like, the incremental enjoyment that you get is getting smaller and smaller.

[A]

Way smaller. Like, yeah, some of the biggest jumps were when I was, like, broke to, like, 10K. Yeah, that was a huge jump, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was eating Chipotle every day. Then to make 10k a month or 10k every couple months was a huge.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, now it's like, whatever, dude.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, if I were to get offered millions, I've been offered millions. Someone just offered 30 million for the podcast and I'm kidding. But that wouldn't, like, that would really change my life because, like, first of all, I'm not that materialistic. Like, I just love food. That's my biggest expense. Yeah, I'll eat, like, all types of food, but what am I gonna spend 30 million on?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. If you like food. Do you like cookies?

[A]

Yeah, if they're soft. I don't like them when they're hard.

[B]

Because I'm kind of into cookies. I do these little cookie review things once a week.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Do you have, like, a cookie place that you love?

[A]

No. I actually just went super viral because one of my guests exposed Crumbl cookies.

[B]

Oh, is it? I saw a clip on. On Instagram where she talked. Was it a Alex Clark?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I think I saw that. Yeah. Well, I do not like crumble cookies.

[A]

They're too sweet.

[B]

Everyone I have. I just think I shouldn't ever have one again.

[A]

Yeah, I feel terrible. They're way too sweet. No, I like. I'm pretty healthy, actually, so I like just quality cookies, minimal ingredients.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, I'm not really into all that. Like, have you seen an ingredient list from Crumbl?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I looked at the thing, and it was insane.

[A]

Yeah, I like warm, soft. Are you soft or hard for cookies?

[B]

I like them soft.

[A]

Yeah, I like them soft. Some people like them hard. I'm like, no, I like them fresh. Right out the oven. Soft, homemade. That's my cookie.

[B]

Okay, nice.

[A]

What about you?

[B]

Yeah, no, I love to get them fresh. And if they're. If I take them home and then they're kind of cooled down, I will pop them in the microwave. It's nice and warm.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Cookies are good on the dessert tier list. They're definitely up there, but I'm a cheesecake guy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Cheesecake is a tier for me. You like a good cheesecake?

[B]

I do like cheesecake.

[A]

So good. Oh, my God. Next time you're in Vegas, I'll put you onto this one spot.

[B]

I love. I mean, the. I like. Well, do you like the Cheesecake Factory cheesecake or no? Okay.

[A]

Oh, you like that?

[B]

I will eat it. But the thing is, is they're like. The one I like is about 1800 calories. That's what I like.

[A]

It's too sweet.

[B]

Yeah. And it's too much. I feel like, okay, this is my daily calories in this one. So where's the place in Vegas that you like? Or do you want to.

[A]

He's already been on the pod, so I'll shut him out. It's called Tasty T's Cheesecake. It's Floyd Mayweather's former bodyguard. His wife makes them at their house. You have to, like, order them online or text them it's like kind of low key, but. Oh, my God, the pecan pie one, the regular one, so dang.

[B]

Okay, I have to have.

[A]

When you fly in, I'll pre order a whole thing for you and try it out. So good.

[B]

Dude, that is.

[A]

What's your. Oh, I love asking people this question. If you can only eat one cuisine the rest of your life, you had to eat it every day. Which cuisine would it be?

[B]

Do you mean like different?

[A]

Like Italian, Japanese, American food, Mediterranean, Indian?

[B]

I kind of am just old school American food. I like.

[A]

Wow. No one's ever given that answer.

[B]

Mashed potatoes, gravy. Wow. Just turkey, chicken. I'm.

[A]

I'm shocked.

[B]

I know that's probably really boring, but.

[A]

People rank American food really low when I ask them for their top cuisines.

[B]

When I go on vacation and I'm kind of off of my normal eating plan, I usually will have a hamburger almost every day or every other day because I don't normally have those just because I'm trying to not eat more healthy.

[A]

But what's your favorite? What do you think the best burger spot is? Like fast food burger spot.

[B]

Oh, man. I hardly ever have burgers here because I'm usually somewhere else when I can actually have one.

[A]

But I'm team In N Out.

[B]

Oh, they're good.

[A]

I used to be five guys, but I feel like In N Out's better right now.

[B]

Five guys. They have really good fries, don't they?

[A]

I think so. I don't eat fries, but I heard.

[B]

That I hardly ever can have them. But when I do, I enjoy.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I used to eat Burger King every day, but I feel like they've gone downhill.

[B]

I haven't had. Yeah. Way back when I was first started as a lawyer, I'd hit McDonald's and Burger King and just. They were. I liked them, but I was gaining a little bit of weight.

[A]

I think we are.

[B]

And I finally figured out, oh, I can't eat that stuff.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My metabolism won't just burn the stuff off. I have to. I have to be pretty much dialed in with, I can't eat more than this or I'm going to start to have tight pants again.

[A]

As a lawyer, you got to look good too.

[B]

You don't want to look too. Yeah.

[A]

I don't hire fat lawyers. It's just for me, it's like really important if you're representing me, to care about yourself.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It shows me that you care about.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you don't care about yourself, why would you care about me?

[B]

Have you Ever had new lawyers walk in and one of them was overweight and you just were like, hey, I.

[A]

Wish I could say I have. That'd be a legendary story. But, nah, by the time I meet them in person, I feel like I already seen them on, like, social media or something, so.

[B]

Okay. You know, that'd be so hilarious.

[A]

I don't work with fat people, bro. Like, come on, get in shape like that. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah. There's so many good. So much good information now on how to be healthy, from diet to workout ideas. Like, if you're fat at this point, other if you have, like, a medical condition, that's one thing. But I think it's a choice for most people.

[B]

Yeah, I've definitely learned a ton over the years where I've kind of dialed it in more and more, so. Yeah.

[A]

Well, dude, where can people support you? Find you? Come to your future shows and.

[B]

Oh, man, my Instagram is Wesley Austin2. And then YouTube is just wesaustin the channel. Those two are my big places to go, so. Perfect.

[A]

Yeah, we'll link it below, man. I'll. I'll try to catch you if you ever perform in Vegas.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Thank you. That'll be great.

[A]

I'll heckle you in the crowd.

[B]

Well, and I want to have some cheesecake either before or after.

[A]

Okay. Done. Done. All right, check them out, guys. Peace. I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Please don't forget to like and subscribe. It helps the show a lot with the algorithm. Thank you.