← Digital Social Hour
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- [00:00]
A
No matter what. I used to go, like, four dates a week to the same restaurant. When I was, like, in my looking for love phase, it was just, qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify. And I knew the food was going to be good every day.
- [00:10]
B
Yeah.
- [00:10]
A
So I did that for years.
- [00:11]
B
The staff didn't snitch on you.
- [00:13]
A
There was one time. So the worst thing that's ever happened is, oh, my God. So good to see you again. But not to me. To the girl.
- [00:22]
B
No. All right, guys, third time's the charm. Brandon Boeski back on the show. Coming straight off the bathroom. Little experiment yesterday.
- [00:34]
A
Yeah, it was fun. It sounds way worse than it is.
- [00:37]
B
Yeah. But basically, I had an event last night, guys, and this man was in the bathroom for how long?
- [00:42]
A
It was almost two hours.
- [00:43]
B
Two hours. Give him a little lecture. Right.
- [00:45]
A
Well, it started off with a guy that was, like, a dude that was in my discord the past couple years, and then out of nowhere, he had, like, a few friends with him and just, hey, bro, so good to meet you. Can I get some advice? I was like, yeah, sure. And then the friend needed advice. The friend needed advice. Friend needed advice. And I didn't realize how long it was. I got a cigar from the bathroom attendant, dude, and, you know, whatever. I'm sitting here, and I didn't realize how. Usually I smoke a scar in my backyard. It's like half an hour. Yeah, it's like two hours. It's like the biggest cigar I've ever smoked. I mean, it was crazy. And so about an hour in, there's people that have gone to the bathroom twice. Like, they broke the seal and they had to go again. They're like, you're still giving a lecture, you're still giving a sermon. It was pretty wild.
- [01:21]
B
I could tell you're passionate about teaching people, though.
- [01:23]
A
Yeah, I mean, that's. That's the plan this year, is build the community. Really go all in on that. The few thousand people that are in it already grandfathered in. But everything else is paywall and just lots of business coaching, lots of advice, lots of helping people grow, and that's kind of what I want to do with my life now.
- [01:39]
B
Well, you've done the hard part because there's a lot of coaches that don't have the results yet, but you actually have results, so.
- [01:44]
A
Yeah, I've been blessed. You know, I've had really good teams. I've had really good opportunities, and I worked really hard. But I think that you hit a nail on the head. Most people telling you about the stuff have never done the stuff. And I think it's a big problem and it leads to a lot of bad advice and a lot of people failing that could have otherwise been successful if they had good advice. And for me, it's not like I don't want to trade my time for money. I have a lot of friends that do that, that do the, oh, 10, 20k an hour coaching stuff. I've done consulting for like 10, 25 grand an hour depending on the subject matter. But that's not really what I want to do. I'd rather charge people a few hundred bucks or a couple hundred bucks a month to be in a group session where everybody can benefit. Because when I used to do one on one coaching, what I found, this is like 21, 22. What I found was everybody asked the same questions. Eventually they get into like niche down stuff. But at the beginning everyone asks the same shit. So the very basic stuff, if I get asked that and I have a thousand people listening or I have one person listening, it is the exact same output for me. I don't have to do any extra work, but now I can impact a thousand people instead of one.
- [02:42]
B
Right. That makes a lot of sense. I also like that you coach on what you specialize in because a lot of people coach these, these fads like drop shipping or whatever and trends. And they know that doesn't work, bro. You know what I mean?
- [02:52]
A
Oh yeah. 100. I mean, they know that they're scamming.
- [02:54]
B
People pretty much because by the time they're teaching it, it doesn't work.
- [02:57]
A
Yeah, well, a lot of people do the thing where they teach people stuff that they did once that worked one time and they show you the screenshot over and over and over. Or they just tell you look at the thing that works and it never actually worked in the first place.
- [03:09]
B
The screenshot of their revenue, their gross revenue.
- [03:11]
A
Yeah, I mean, I, I'm, I'm okay with people that have high revenue. We were talking about this last night in the bathroom. This sounds so bad. Uh, I'm okay with people that are like rev, rev, rev. But a lot of people that are chasing revenue never make money because they don't understand that eventually you hit diminishing returns and it starts to actually lose you money to keep growing and growing and growing. And if there's no exitable company there, there's no like potential for getting out of it. Yeah, you should focus on profit. Everybody has this dream of selling a company. Most companies aren't salable. Like they're not Things that people want to purchase. So all these people that are like, I'm going to sell my company's like, for what? You wash cars, bro. Nobody's buying your car wash business unless it's a PPF company and you've got 10,000 clients and they're like, yeah, we got this new PPF. It takes three seconds to apply, and we can sell it to everybody, you know, and those strategic acquisitions, they never happen. For Average Joe's.
- [04:02]
B
Yup.
- [04:02]
A
So people live in these pipe dreams.
- [04:04]
B
But would you ever get into retail or brick and mortar, like, physical stuff?
- [04:07]
A
I have done some in the past. I failed miserably with a biohacking gym back in 2020 during COVID Lost over a million dollars on that.
- [04:14]
B
Was that just bad timing, you think, though?
- [04:16]
A
I think it was bad timing. And I didn't try, you know, I think to be successful, you have to be really virtually all in or close to all in on something, or you've got to have multiple projects, but some of them run autonomously or semi autonomously, and then you can focus. Yeah, I was not focused. I was like, life was collapsing. Covid happened. Lost millions of dollars, and I'm just bleeding more money in this gym every month. And eventually I had to pull the, you know, the ripcord. But I also started during COVID where I. I thought people would want to go to the gym at the end of COVID and I would just tough it out. People were still afraid of gyms for some reason, just like they were afraid of fucking grocery stores.
- [04:51]
B
A lot of programming around that time. Oh, yeah, I almost got the job, man. Yeah, they almost got me.
- [04:55]
A
Yeah, I.
- [04:57]
B
Well, my girl wanted to get in. I'm like, ah, I really don't trust it. If you're building something, doesn't matter if it's a business, a brand, or just a better version of yourself, then you already know. The work never really stops. Your brain is always on ideas at 2am, problems at 3, plans at 4. But here's the truth. If you never shut down, you're going to crash fast. That's why I use Sambrosa. It's not hype. It's not some trendy sleep hack. It's a legit syrup that helps you fall asleep when your brain won't let you. You take it, and 20 to 30 minutes later, you're out. Not groggy, not jogged up just to sleep like you're supposed to be. Then you wake up clear, with no brain fog, no dragging yourself out of bed. You get your Hours in and you actually feel like you slept. Sleep isn't optional. It's not self care, it's strategy. If you're not getting it right, you're leaving energy, focus and money on the table. Sambrosa helps me sleep, it helps me execute. That's the only reason I talk about it. You want to get ahead, Start by getting real rest. Check out the link below in their website, www s a m b r o s a sambrosa.com and I was close, dude.
- [06:01]
A
A lot of people that I know did it. And I get in arguments with people all the time that are like, you weren't protecting people. I'm like, who's dead? Who's alive?
- [06:10]
B
I mean just the travel thing was annoying, dude.
- [06:12]
A
The traveling was the worst. I got trapped in Paris once. I was supposed to be in Dubai. I was a whole long story, but I was supposed to be in Dubai the following morning. And the red eye from like Paris to Dubai or whatever it was, was it red eye? I don't remember. Anyway, it got messed up because I didn't have a vax in mid-2022. Damn. We're talking two years after the pandemic. They changed the rules. Day of, my travel agent didn't tell me. And I get on the plane or go to get on the plane, and they're like, where's your vaccine check in? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like, oh, did you have a test? And I'm like, what? They're like, yeah, you have to have either a vaccine check in with this approved thing or a test. And I was just like, no, I don't have a COVID test in quarter one or quarter two of 2022. No, that's not a thing. So they were like, yeah, go get one and come back. So I'm in like a foreign. I hate, I don't hate French people, but I don't really like French people very much. They're very rude.
- [07:06]
B
They're not know.
- [07:07]
A
Especially to Americans. They're not very nice. And so they were pretty much just like, go yourself American. Like rough. Okay, cool. You guys talking to me. Yikes. So I'd like stash my bags, go get a COVID test, come back. Mind you, I don't speak French. Yeah. So I'm Google translating my way through France, trying to get my way to Dubai, where I'll also probably have to Google translate in my head. I'd never been there, so I didn't know they all spoke English there. But yeah, it was a nightmare.
- [07:31]
B
Do you do a lot of international business? A lot of people are trying to coach in international markets right now.
- [07:36]
A
No, I mean, I can see why. Like, there's a lot of people focusing on America, but there are other capitalist countries where it makes sense to. For me, it's not about like, how do I make the most money? I've already made a lot of money. Yeah, for me it's like, how do I make the most impact and deliver the best result and the best outcome for people? And I don't want to do it on a one to one basis. And people hit me up for that all the time. It just doesn't make sense. It's not a good use of time and I don't want to trade my time for money. Like, I want to do the calls, because I want to do the calls. Just like I sat in a bathroom instead of went around, talked to people. Like there was a fantastic group of people at your event last night. I said hi to a few friends, said hi to you, you know, hung out for a few minutes, but then happened to take a piss and get a cigar. And next thing I know I'm giving a lecture to a bunch of young kids.
- [08:14]
B
I was wondering where you at?
- [08:15]
A
But that was actually the most important, impactful thing that I've done in a long time. Like that was. I left that the happiest that I had felt in a very long time. Wow. To the point where like I texted my entire core team at two of my companies and was like, yo, I feel so much better about this mission and this next phase of evolution now as like me as a person.
- [08:33]
B
Yeah, that's so fascinating because you made tens of millions of dollars, but just inspiring 10 people in a bathroom is.
- [08:39]
A
Like, you're wasn't even 10. It was like, well, maybe with the people that walked in and out, but you know, it was like four kids.
- [08:44]
B
Oh, wow.
- [08:45]
A
These were. These are 18 to 23 year old kids that are all doing seven figures or high six figures. And I'm just like, dude, I have siblings that are your age, a little older and they are not there.
- [08:55]
B
Right?
- [08:56]
A
Like just I'm sitting here like, do not give money to women. Like all the typical stuff that I've ever said. Here's all the advice. Hope your voice memoing this.
- [09:06]
B
So you're giving dating advice too?
- [09:07]
A
I gave all advice. I was like, do not fucking date until you are 2526. Make sure they're 25, 26, because that's when they realize life sucks. Damn.
- [09:17]
B
25, 26 is pretty late to start dating.
- [09:18]
A
Well, I mean at their age they could take. So okay, I'm not a Gary Vee patience guy, but they have a lot of time, they're very young. Like these kids are over 10 years younger than me. And one thing that I did that was messed up early on was I was chasing love and money and success and internal fulfillment. You can't have all the things at once. If you're going from zero, you have to pick one at a time and check the boxes because you're not going to be focused on accomplishing any one goal. It's just like anything in life. And I think if I was 20 to 23 years old, or even the 18 year old kid who had a good idea, my thing would be how do I make the most money right now so that I could be set up for the future to have a healthy family, a healthy relationship, to not be stressed and to really live the best life that I could. Not to say like if you meet an amazing woman, you shouldn't date her and marry her. I mean, of course, like 100% that is the goal. That's my goal. That should be everybody's goal. I mean not everybody's. To each their own, but I think it's really important. But I don't think that at 22 years old, when you're making that type of money, a lot of women are coming around for the right reasons. Because at that age, it's most people's party age. If you choose to lock in when everyone else is partying, not going to be like everyone else. The reason I like age 26 is it's the point where everybody realizes life doesn't actually like just give you things. Life kind of sucks unless you make it good. And so if you're able to show people, hey, life could actually be good, those people are going to stay around you whether you're a woman or a man. If you've got your shit together in your mid-20s, late 20s, you become like level 11 attractive. Now you just have to be a good person.
- [10:56]
B
Right. Also, age 26 is when the brain stops developing fully. So that too you could make rational decisions.
- [11:01]
A
That prefrontal cortex.
- [11:04]
B
Yeah, I mean I'm not opposed to it. I did that. I locked in ages. Yeah. College up till 26.
- [11:09]
A
I wish I did.
- [11:10]
B
I locked in. I mean I was still dating, but I put the business first those years and shout out to Ariel for like sacrificing that.
- [11:16]
A
But yeah, it's awesome.
- [11:18]
B
Yeah.
- [11:18]
A
Let's have a good thing.
- [11:19]
B
Yeah, it's hard to find because now you're rich. So dating is like, damn, she wasn't with me from the start. It must be a lot tough. Tougher, right?
- [11:26]
A
It is very hard. I was broke when I met her. It's a lot of sifting. Yeah. But you can figure out who's there for the right and wrong reasons really easily.
- [11:33]
B
Well, you're in Miami, so Fort Lauderdale. Similar.
- [11:36]
A
I don't leave my house.
- [11:37]
B
Oh, you don't?
- [11:37]
A
Yeah. My dating strategy is mutuals only.
- [11:40]
B
Interesting.
- [11:40]
A
Yeah. Only mutuals. I've had three girls slide in from my discord, though, which is weird.
- [11:45]
B
White.
- [11:46]
A
Yeah. Just like random business coaching discord. One of them was for sure, gold digger. One of them was one of the most beautiful women I've ever met in my life. Just wasn't really, like a fit. And then the other one, I was like, I don't know. I never really worked out timing wise.
- [12:00]
B
Could you date a woman that was broke?
- [12:02]
A
Yeah. Oh, my God, dude. Most of the women that I have dated have not been, like, rich by any means. I don't think I've actually ever dated a rich woman.
- [12:10]
B
Interesting.
- [12:10]
A
Yeah.
- [12:11]
B
So that doesn't matter to you?
- [12:12]
A
No matter who cares.
- [12:14]
B
So what, do you prioritize who they.
- [12:15]
A
Are as a person and then do they do something that brings them fulfillment?
- [12:19]
B
Okay.
- [12:20]
A
Like, it's really important that you have things that you like to do, like this. And your wife gives you the freedom to do this. She could be like, I don't like that you do that. Right. And then that could create a conflict. But she's very supportive, and you guys have very good relationship and good relationship dynamic. That's what it's all about. It's. Do you have a thing you like? Does she have a thing she likes? And then do you guys together, like your life. Are you happy alone? And then are you happy together? Most people struggle to be happy alone.
- [12:45]
B
True.
- [12:45]
A
I mean, I am most people.
- [12:47]
B
I'm an only child, so I think I had to figure it out quicker than most.
- [12:51]
A
Yeah.
- [12:51]
B
Because I was on my own a lot. But I know some of my friends struggle to, like, just be alone in a room six.
- [12:56]
A
Dude, I. I am one of those people. I mean, I have people around me. All the chef staff.
- [13:01]
B
Yeah.
- [13:01]
A
Team. Like, I always have people around. So I'm not all alone, but I'm not like, a very good sit it. I can't go on vacations alone and have a good time. I'm like, no.
- [13:10]
B
Hell no.
- [13:11]
A
Oh, this is cool to look at like, but some people love that. Really. International travel alone. Yeah. I have so one of my exes, like, you need to travel alone. I'm like, why? Miserable?
- [13:19]
B
No, traveling is different for me.
- [13:20]
A
Yeah. Like I want to. I like the idea of making memories with people. Cuz you're going to forget your own memories one day. But somebody can remind you of them and a friend will tell you like, hey, remember that time we did that thing? And to you you're like, I forgot we even did that. But that's their fondest memory with you.
- [13:34]
B
Right? That's a bar right there. I love that. Yeah. Your me, your friends will have your back on those memories 100%. That's cool. Now when it comes to buying woman stuff, like material objects, when does that happen for you?
- [13:46]
A
Doesn't happen. If we're going to an event and I have a nice outfit and I need an outfit that matches that outfit. Sure. If it's a birthday or Christmas, sure. I see so many guys do this. The age of just simping over women financially is stupid. If you want to shower a woman with experiences and affection and quality time and do things for them that make them feel special all day. If you're having to buy a woman, and I have friends that do this and I'm so transparent about it, like the way we're talking about it right now, I tell them they're fucking idiots. Like you should not have to buy women things to receive love. And women that are like gifts are my love language. No, you just want to use a man. Because if gifts were your love language, I could get you a $1 gift and you'd be happy because of the thought. You're not going to be happy with the thought. You're going to be happy with the Louis Vuitton facts. And that's most of women. And women can say whatever the fuck they want. I've talked about this before and get tons of hate. Whatever. The reality is a lot of women do just want stuff. But there are also a lot of really good women that don't care about stuff. And it's important to know like what you're looking for. Like I have a friend who is totally okay. He was married for a long time, totally okay with just buying love. He just wants to buy love. He is happy to provide. He just wants to feel loved. And he's so authentic and honest about it and it breaks my heart, but at the same time it's his life. What am I gonna tell him to do? You Know what I mean?
- [15:10]
B
Yeah, I guess some people don't know how to get love without spending money, right?
- [15:14]
A
I think people get conditioned to it. Especially people that get sucked into like strip club life or, you know, sugar daddy or whatever, that type of thing. I've never understood that. Yeah, the sugar daddy thing makes no sense. Like prostitution. At least I understand the transaction. Sugar daddy. It's like, hello, I'd like to give you something with absolutely nothing in return for me. Maybe one day I'll get something that's.
- [15:35]
B
Like the only fans life too.
- [15:36]
A
Yeah, it's terrible. It's craziest thing ever. Yeah. And like, I know girls that have done it and I'm like, make your bag. But these guys are fucking idiots.
- [15:43]
B
Could you date a girl that did that profession?
- [15:45]
A
I don't care. Depends. Depends. Depends. Is she having sex on camera or just being naked on camera?
- [15:50]
B
Just being naked.
- [15:51]
A
Don't care.
- [15:52]
B
Really?
- [15:52]
A
Who the fuck cares? You go, okay, look, you go out in a bathing suit. Half. Bathing suits are being naked these days, pretty much. So it's like, all right, cool. I could literally look at most girls Instagrams and be like, okay, cool. I pretty much know what you look like naked now. You know what I mean?
- [16:09]
B
Yeah.
- [16:09]
A
So what's the difference now at a point, I mean, you know, there are pros and cons to it, but if it's genuinely enjoyed and the person doesn't want to do anything else and that's what they want to do and they make a ton of money or if it's a weird niche, like, you know, I don't know. Yeah, I would not write that off, but it's not my. I'm not going after it. You know, makes sense.
- [16:31]
B
Who pays on the first date?
- [16:33]
A
It depends who invites. So there are times where women have invited me on dates.
- [16:38]
B
Okay, so if that happens, you. You want to split it or how does it.
- [16:41]
A
If that happens, I want to see what they do. Not because I expect them to pay. I just want to see what they do. It's just interesting.
- [16:47]
B
Yeah.
- [16:48]
A
I've had women ask me to split bills before. I usually always pay. Unless I'm having a bad time. If I'm having a really bad time or like, there is. This is a terrible mismatch. And I got sold a bill of goods. That is okay. We're splitting it. In that case, I might have to leave. I might just like slip a couple hundred dollar bills on the table and just have to leave. If it's just not it. And it's like terrible. I've had that happen. I mean, why waste time? Like, hey, this is gonna be a shitty meal for both of us. I'm just gonna throw some money down, call it a day. It was great being you. Yeah. But that. That only happened twice in my life out of, like, hundreds and hundreds.
- [17:20]
B
Do you ever make them pay out of principle? Just out of respect.
- [17:23]
A
If I know that it's not going anywhere and I realize that this was, like, a free meal to them. Yeah, I make them pay.
- [17:29]
B
Oh, really?
- [17:29]
A
100.
- [17:30]
B
How do you bring that up in conversation?
- [17:32]
A
I don't. You just know, like, you can tell the vibe, like, when you're there, you know, if, like, this is a date to go somewhere or if this is, like, free meal number three for the day. If it's free meal number three for the day. Just got 50 off, but it ain't free.
- [17:45]
B
That's hilarious. I'd love to see that conversation.
- [17:47]
A
It's really funny to watch.
- [17:50]
B
Do you think that's a good date setting? Like, restaurant?
- [17:53]
A
I prefer activities. Yeah. But I think most people are accustomed to restaurants, and it's easy because you have to eat anyway. So if you pick a restaurant that you know you like, you're gonna have a good time no matter what. I used to go on, like, four dates a week to the same restaurant when I was like, am I looking for love? Phase. And it was just, qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify, qualify. And I knew the food was going to be good every day.
- [18:11]
B
Yeah.
- [18:11]
A
And so I did that for years.
- [18:12]
B
The staff didn't snitch on you?
- [18:14]
A
There was one time. So the worst thing that's ever happened is. Oh, my God. So good to see you again. But not to me. To the girl.
- [18:23]
B
No. Oh, that's awkward.
- [18:26]
A
I can't believe you're back so soon.
- [18:28]
B
Oh, yeah, that's awkward.
- [18:30]
A
It was bad.
- [18:30]
B
You ended that one quick.
- [18:31]
A
No, I was just like. I come here a lot. Oh. With girls. With girls. With friends, you know?
- [18:39]
B
Do you see any entitlement in these younger girls? Like, my generation, like, early 20s?
- [18:44]
A
How old are you?
- [18:45]
B
I'm 28, but I guess, like, millennials.
- [18:47]
A
Okay. I was gonna say. Yeah. I think you're. You are not millennial, are you?
- [18:51]
B
I think I'm on the year of.
- [18:53]
A
Either millennial or Gen. You're the Z Cusp.
- [18:55]
B
Yeah, I'm on. I'm 97.
- [18:57]
A
I'm toward the end. The end of the millennial thing at.
- [19:00]
B
92, so I might be Gen Z.
- [19:01]
A
You might be. I don't think it's necessarily entitlement. In any generation. I think it's upbringing. Like, some people are just raised properly and some aren't. And some people are raised improperly and then grow up. Like, I didn't grow up with money and I don't feel entitled to anything from anyone. I'm extremely grateful when people give or do things for me and, you know, I kind of expect that to be reciprocated. It's not always. Some people just expect stuff. Yeah. But I don't think it has to do with the generation. I just think it has to do with how they were raised.
- [19:29]
B
Interesting. Because a lot of hate I see on Gen Z is like, we're addicted to our phones. We're not present.
- [19:34]
A
So are millennials. Everyone's addicted to their phones. Everyone wants dopamine. Yeah. Human nature.
- [19:39]
B
Yeah, I agree. What about these communication issues? Like, do you think there's a lot of issues when it comes to texting, ghosting?
- [19:45]
A
And I don't think the go, I'm fucking really bad at texting if I don't want to talk. You get like one word or I'll say like, haha, haha. And repeat.
- [19:55]
B
Oh, the emoji thing.
- [19:56]
A
I'll do the laugh emoji. I'll do ha. I just will literally type haha. And I've realized sometimes I've literally typed haha, three messages in a row. I've gotten called out by girls work because I'm busy and I'm just looking at this shit like, I don't know what the fuck to say to you. Yeah, I don't think there's communication issues necessarily in generations, but there's like, there's issues with things in common. Like, I realized I could not date young women, like, younger women like that in the mid-20s, early 20s, maybe a year and a half ago when I was in LA. And at the time I was 31, but I met this chick who was like 22. She was partying in Miami. We hooked up. I happened to be getting tattooed and I flew back from, like, Santa, I don't know what the hell it is. One of these places in NorCal. And I flew back to LA and I had a jet that was taking me whatever, seven o' clock. And this girl's sister posted. They were at a beach. And she's an awesome girl, like, super sweet girl. Her sister's really cool too. And I was like, oh, you guys are at this beach? And I was like, yeah. She was like, oh, sweet. Well, what are you guys doing there? We live here. Oh, shit. Let's go get coffee. So we all go get coffee. We're catching up. And I was just like, man, this girl is absolutely beautiful. Super cool, super chill. Yo, you should come back to l. A. When? 45 minutes. I'll push the plane for 30. So she comes back. And after, like, two days, I was like, man, this girl's just bored. Like, she is. There's nothing in common. Like me. I can pace around on my phone, talk on the phone all day. Yeah. You have to entertain yourself. Like, part of dating me is you have to be able to entertain yourself. Do something, have hobbies, find things. I felt like I wanted to be like, do you want a iPad, sweetie? Like, it was that. And I think that's the biggest problem is you just have nothing in common with people when there's such a big gap. I don't know how Leo does it.
- [21:42]
B
Who?
- [21:43]
A
Huh?
- [21:43]
B
Leo DiCaprio.
- [21:45]
A
Yeah.
- [21:45]
B
I don't know who he dates, but.
- [21:47]
A
No, I think his hard cap was 25.
- [21:49]
B
What?
- [21:49]
A
I'm pretty sure that was, like, a thing people knew for a long time. Maybe I'm misremembering.
- [21:53]
B
No, I think now that you said that. Yeah. Just confirmed it. So he only dates a woman under 25.
- [21:57]
A
25 is when he cuts them off, which is great because imagine he's now, like, gotta be 50.
- [22:01]
B
Yeah.
- [22:01]
A
So they're half your age. What could you have in common with them other than sex?
- [22:05]
B
Well, I see this argument from Tate. He'll say he wants the innocence, and by the time women are 30s, 40s, they're just destroyed.
- [22:13]
A
Yeah.
- [22:13]
B
Do you see that?
- [22:14]
A
Well, I've never dated a woman that's 40. Yeah. I think the most I've gotten is a year above my own age.
- [22:19]
B
No cougars.
- [22:19]
A
No. It's just I'm very superficial. And I think that as women age, some women age incredibly well.
- [22:28]
B
Right.
- [22:28]
A
Like, I actually. No. I've been with a woman that was 37 when I was 30, but she looked like she was 25.
- [22:35]
B
Was she Asian?
- [22:36]
A
She. No, she was white.
- [22:37]
B
Really?
- [22:38]
A
Yes.
- [22:39]
B
Blonde?
- [22:39]
A
No, redhead.
- [22:41]
B
Oh, redhead. Okay.
- [22:42]
A
I don't know if that has anything.
- [22:43]
B
No, no. Because they say blonde, age, fat on average.
- [22:47]
A
Well, they bleach their hair. You never know if it's really. They could be skewing the. Yeah, the stats. But no, I don't know. I'm just not. I like when women are around my age or a little younger, and there's a lot in common sense, like. Yeah. Dating sucks, though.
- [23:00]
B
It's tough for you because you want the looks. You Want the intelligence?
- [23:03]
A
Yeah, I need pretty much all the boxes checked.
- [23:06]
B
Yeah. For wifey.
- [23:07]
A
Yeah. But, you know, we'll just keep going until we get there.
- [23:10]
B
Yeah. You said you want to get married earlier, right?
- [23:12]
A
Yeah, that's the goal. Yeah.
- [23:13]
B
You want kids too?
- [23:14]
A
Yeah.
- [23:14]
B
Little bowskis running around.
- [23:15]
A
Do a couple mini ones.
- [23:17]
B
They're going to be animals.
- [23:18]
A
We'll see.
- [23:19]
B
Because you got a little bit of a late start, right, your entrepreneurial career?
- [23:22]
A
Well, I dropped out at 15, but I didn't make money till 26. Really?
- [23:26]
B
26.
- [23:27]
A
First million at 26. Yeah.
- [23:29]
B
And these days that's considered late, I think.
- [23:31]
A
Yeah, I think so too. If you're, if you're hustling, like, if you're really grinding, I mean, I. I didn't have anybody, like really to show me what to do, which is also why I like to help people.
- [23:40]
B
Yeah. What's the main focus for you this year? Cause I know you're coming off a rough year, right? Business wise?
- [23:44]
A
Yeah. This year it's 100%. Just build the community, Get a lot of people, I mean, super transparent. I don't want to do anything other than help people. Like, I genuinely would like to help people grow and build their businesses. In order to do that, you need money to be able to dedicate to making content, to being out there, to building the community. Because to make the maximum amount of impact, it's not like throw a fucking course online and teach a bunch of people some dumb shit that they could hopefully monetize. To me, it's about every single day people have problems, questions and things that they need to learn. And networking could help them, whether it's virtual or in person or just asking questions to someone who's done it before, or maybe I haven't done it, but I know someone who has. So I happen to learn the information and if I don't know, I'll say, hey, go follow this guy, or check that guy out. Like, that guy would know. I am not one of those people who's like, I, an expert in everything. I'm an expert in a handful of things. I know a lot about a few dozen things, but there's some shit I know nothing about. I'm not going to pretend, you know, but I think I can help the majority of people, I would say, in business. And so that's. The goal, is to get tens of thousands of people into a community, obviously paid. Right. There's a financial component, but, you know, there's a ikigai. It's. What is it? It's Japanese concept. It's what you like to do or what brings you fulfillment, what adds value to the world, what you can get paid for. This one other one, I don't remember all of them, but those are the important ones to me is like I need to do something that provides value to the world, that makes money and that makes me feel fulfilled. And that to me, like last night, the hour and a half in the bathroom, coaching a bunch of random people like that is what makes me smiling the whole time.
- [25:19]
B
I saw videos of you.
- [25:20]
A
Yeah. That's what makes me the happiest because it's like I know that I made an impact. I know these kids lives will be altered.
- [25:26]
B
Yeah. Think about how they'll change in 10 years.
- [25:28]
A
Oh, dude. I mean, change in a week. I gave them like direct, actionable stuff they could do tomorrow.
- [25:32]
B
That's fire. Cause a lot of people are coaching philosophy.
- [25:35]
A
Yeah, well, because they haven't done it.
- [25:37]
B
Yeah. So it's like hypotheticals almost.
- [25:39]
A
Let me tell you what your mindset should be like. I don't really know what it's like to wake up and have a bad day because, well, every day is a bad day. But if I wanted to have a better day, I would just dump my head in a bowl of ice water because I saw someone do it on the Internet. Yeah, that'd be $25,000, please.
- [25:55]
B
Like manifestation coaches.
- [25:58]
A
Yeah. There's a lot of interesting people. You know, there's been some interesting characters on your pod lately. I'll put it that way.
- [26:05]
B
Yeah. Barry. I think it's fascinating. I like getting all perspectives.
- [26:08]
A
What I really like is. I like that. And I'm not saying anybody in particular. I like that people are capable of being so delusional. And listen, there's good delusion, bad delusion. Good delusion is like, I believe in myself with no reason to. Bad delusion. I'm not. Again, I'm not going to comment on any particular guests, but there have been some fucking strange guests on lately. And look, I had the guy that I forgot his name and I feel terrible. The urine guy.
- [26:33]
B
Troy Casey or. No, Josh Otto.
- [26:35]
A
Josh Otto. I like that dude. He came over my house. I like that dude. Am I rubbing piss on my face? No. That used to be what was extreme. Like we talk about in the big group chat. Like, that was what was extreme. Now the extreme is like channeling the council. Like the extreme has changed. And then there's people that come on the show and they're like, what? Crazy. And it works. It's amazing. For you.
- [26:57]
B
Yeah.
- [26:58]
A
What crazy can say that's going to get somebody to like, watch this and share and be like, that guy's crazy. I'm like, how do you monetize that? How do you turn that into something like. I don't know, it's. The 15 minutes of fame thing is so weird to me.
- [27:10]
B
Yeah.
- [27:10]
A
It's great for the show.
- [27:11]
B
It's great for the show. I'm all about longevity. That's why I take community serious. That's why I made the group chat and I have events, because that's kind of what separates you from other people.
- [27:19]
A
Oh, yeah. I don't think anybody else does that.
- [27:20]
B
With their podcast, but the community just in general. Like, guys like Pace Morby, they crush it.
- [27:25]
A
Oh. One of the best, the biz.
- [27:27]
B
Yeah.
- [27:27]
A
By far.
- [27:28]
B
Because he actually provides value. And then you have these in person meetups. It just makes people feel safe, you.
- [27:33]
A
Know, I like that you have a community full of people where you have everybody from normal everyday people in this group chat to like a list people.
- [27:41]
B
Yeah.
- [27:42]
A
And you would never know it, like, unless you have their number saved. Yeah.
- [27:45]
B
You don't know the Gurkha Cigar.
- [27:47]
A
Yeah.
- [27:47]
B
And the founder was in the chat.
- [27:48]
A
Yeah. How cool is that? He's probably coming over for dinner next week. Oh, nice set up. Yeah.
- [27:52]
B
Love that.
- [27:52]
A
My chef makes some food and.
- [27:54]
B
Yeah, you never know who you'll meet. It's. It's maxed out. Out in there. So I got to message WhatsApp to see if they can increase the.
- [27:59]
A
Yeah, you have that. That second one now.
- [28:01]
B
Yeah, but it's dead because it's. I'm in a weird spot where there's like 1200 guests, but yeah.
- [28:05]
A
Not as many in the other one.
- [28:06]
B
Yeah.
- [28:06]
A
The active people. But the group's awesome. I mean, it's awesome. And nobody else does that.
- [28:11]
B
Yeah. Well, now there's some. Some shows doing it, but I like being the first. I don't like copying people, dude.
- [28:16]
A
Yeah, well, I mean. Dude. Yeah. Okay. Everyone else can do it, but your show is. It's a good show.
- [28:21]
B
Thanks, dude. I mean, there's a reason you've been on three times. I like you as a guest too. I like that you talk about everything, not just business.
- [28:28]
A
Yeah.
- [28:28]
B
I mean, life is more than just making money.
- [28:30]
A
No, 100. Well, most people come on, they have an agenda and it's like, like this is the first time we've ever had anything to talk about really. Where you're like, hey, you want to talk about these things? And I was like, yeah, Sure.
- [28:38]
B
I remember the first time you came on, you were just so vulnerable. You were, you were mentioning all your losses or something and I was just like, this dude's a real one.
- [28:45]
A
Like, yeah.
- [28:45]
B
No guests did that prior to you, to be honest.
- [28:47]
A
Yeah.
- [28:47]
B
Yeah.
- [28:48]
A
This year was major.
- [28:50]
B
Yeah. Yeah. I saw you go through it and I'm like, holy. Lawsuits fucked me up too.
- [28:55]
A
Yeah. They teach you a lot. They teach you who your friends are. They teach you who has your back behind your back. Yeah. And they teach you that anybody can sue you for anything and there doesn't have to be any proof of anything ever having happened. They can just be like, you know what? I feel like maybe you did something and I want money now.
- [29:12]
B
Yeah. And if it's the wrong person that has a ton of bankroll, they're just going to bleed you dry.
- [29:17]
A
There are high profile people that are doing that every day. I mean, we see it.
- [29:21]
B
Yeah.
- [29:21]
A
There's been recently in our industry a big lawsuit that just ended. Damn. And you definitely know which one I'm talking.
- [29:28]
B
Was that the one you were involved in or.
- [29:29]
A
No, no, no, no, different one different. This was two people in like the, in the very public space. But anyway, it's just you, you start to see how much power money really has at a certain level. Yeah. But you also see how fragile it is. Like how quickly you can lose most of what you've built.
- [29:45]
B
Yeah. That happened to me because once you have millions, you're. You kind of assume you're good, you're set for life. I guess.
- [29:51]
A
Yeah.
- [29:52]
B
Because of all the programming growing up, like, oh, once I'm a millionaire, like I'm set. And then you could lose that quick.
- [29:57]
A
Oh, yeah. I mean, I have a few million dollars in salaries and I took like six months to make a freaking dollar. Actually, more than six months. Didn't fire people. Like I fired a few people that just were non essential at that point when everything happened. But the majority of the team still got paid and you know, tech projects are still getting built and the show must go on. Like, I'm not crying poverty. I'm still very well situated. But you know, big loss. Yeah.
- [30:20]
B
I made and lost all my money twice. I mean, you put it in a couple of wrong investments, couple auto traders or whatever and a few people that.
- [30:27]
A
Got clipped on that stuff for me. Keep it in the fucking bank or put it into assets that bring you joy that you can easily liquidate like cars.
- [30:33]
B
And bank is tricky though, because you lose value on it.
- [30:38]
A
Yeah. But you can always make more. Yeah. My thing is, if I have money accessible, I can go out and deploy and make more money. If I don't have money accessible because it's tied up in a bunch of real estate, well, now my sources of income are limited. Yeah. Like if I need to drop half a million dollars to build a new tech project because I believe in it and I'm wrong four times, it's $2 million, you know, leverage. That could be anywhere from six to $10 million in real estate, depending on what I'm buying and how I'm buying it. So a lot of people are like, dump every dollar in a property. For me, it's keep the cash ready to make moves.
- [31:10]
B
Yeah, that makes sense. Now you've, you've lived. I want to ask you this because you've lived in a lot of different cities.
- [31:15]
A
Yeah.
- [31:15]
B
And maybe even countries, right?
- [31:17]
A
No, no different countries.
- [31:19]
B
Okay. But what's the best city in America in 2025 to live in?
- [31:27]
A
I feel like I've lived in all the best places. That's just me. I think it depends on what you're looking for, obviously. Yeah. Like, I am not in the best city for the things that I like. I'm in the best city for the phase of life that I'm in. Because when you go to a place where you don't have access to all of your favorite hobbies, you have to work. Like my favorite things, hiking and surfing, snowboarding. If I move back to Hawaii, where I did live, right. For three years part time, I won't get as much done. Like, I'll get a lot done and that people won't be bothering me because of the time zone difference, but I will not get as much done because I'll be out surfing and hiking every day. Like when I was kind of retired the first time, that's what I did. I said, all right, I'm done working. For a while I went to Hawaii, but during the winter I went to Breckenridge for three years and I had a condo in Vail at one point. And those were kind of my favorite memories because I could just wake up and go out in my backyard. I'm snowboarding in three minutes, five minutes, seven minutes, you know? Yeah, that's my favorite activities. New York City, some of the best food in the world. La, eh, I wouldn't do that again. You know, I rented like an $18 million house after I was staying in like a townhouse in Mid City for a while. I was in Sunset Hills. Massive 9,000 square foot, three story monster of A house never left because I don't want to go out and meet a bunch of fake people. And I find that in a lot of big cities, Miami's like, that's why I live in Fort Lauderdale. Even though I am going to be in Miami for six months while I do some renos. The. The majority of people in big cities are not looking to have a genuine connection. They're looking to figure out what you can do for them.
- [33:02]
B
Interesting. Why do you think that is?
- [33:05]
A
Capitalism.
- [33:07]
B
Climb the.
- [33:08]
A
You come to a big city. Yeah. You come to a big city to grind. You learn from somebody. And I'm not naive. There are a lot of people that hang out with me because they can learn things. I don't care. I hang out with them because I enjoy their company. I think they're cool people. It's. You know, and I don't think that they're like, oh, this guy sucks. But I could learn from them. Right. Like I'm. I'm cool to hang out with, but I think a lot of people are constantly trying to climb in cities like New York and Miami and la and, you know, when I lived in Vegas, it was nice, but I liked Vegas because of the proximity to the things that I liked. So it was like being in Florida, where I don't have much that I like to do. So I'm going to grind. But if I want to go do something, I'm close enough. So I think Vegas was probably the best, most well rounded place for me. But it comes down to what people want. Some people, they want to wake up in California, they don't care. They don't care about taxes, politics. They care about nothing. Crime rate. They just want to be in California that's home to them. That's cool. Some people want the busyness of New York. I mean, I did that for a long time and I enjoy New York City, but I couldn't live there again. I don't think I could visit there for extended periods. Florida's cool because the weather's always warm. You don't have a lot. People can be like, oh, you have a lot to do. You can go on a boat and you can go to the beach. I don't like sitting on the beach. I don't like being on boats. So I'm here, trapped. I just lock in. Yeah. And then I just go places that I want to go. It was just easier in Vegas because for me, Hawaii and Colorado and Utah and all those places, those are all closer to Vegas.
- [34:35]
B
Yeah.
- [34:36]
A
I might end up back there.
- [34:37]
B
I got Vegas and Miami. Probably my top two right now. Yeah, it's hard to beat those.
- [34:41]
A
They're. They're no tax. There's a lot of movement, a lot of people trying to grind, trying to grow, trying to build and innovate. And there's a lot of business moving there.
- [34:50]
B
Exactly.
- [34:51]
A
So it's like South Florida in general. Tons of business, massive opportunity. Vegas, tons of traffic, massive opportunity. Those are definitely my two. If you're trying to grow, those are my two places.
- [35:02]
B
Yeah. Because Vegas also, the cost of living is compared to other states.
- [35:05]
A
Oh, yeah. Much cheaper. The thing that I will say about Hawaii and that I loved about Hawaii is people do not ask you what you do for a living.
- [35:11]
B
Really.
- [35:12]
A
No, they ask you what you do for fun.
- [35:13]
B
They don't care.
- [35:14]
A
It's what do you like to do? Not what do you do? That's why I fell in love with Hawaii. Forget the hiking, forget the surfing, the food's mid. But I fell in love with Hawaii because nobody gives a flying fuck who you are. They don't care how much money you have. None of that shit matters. Just are you a good person? And I developed some incredible lifelong friendships just being there a few months a year.
- [35:33]
B
That's cool. And since you were retired, that was part of the phase of your life where you appreciated the.
- [35:37]
A
Oh, yeah, don't get me wrong, I had a fucking in Hawaii standards. I had a mansion, like 4,800 square foot house I was living in, but it's like people weren't. Out of a party of 140 people, I met three people that will be in my life for the rest of my life. Those three people did happen to talk to me a little bit about business, but it wasn't. What do you do and how can you help me? We didn't work together for years later, they're software engineers that ended up working with me. But like everybody, there was just people. And there were good people and bad people, as there always are. It's not like you go to Hawaii and oh my God, everybody's so amazing.
- [36:10]
B
Paradise. Not necessarily the case when you retired the first time. How unfulfilled did you feel in life?
- [36:15]
A
I don't think I did really think because, okay, I say retired. I just didn't do anything. I still thought it's like people say that you can't be in like these people that go to prison, they're like, well, you just have to think a lot, stay in your head because they can't control your thoughts or whatever. I don't know, that's kind of how it felt. It felt like I was not doing anything and I was stagnant. And in that way, I was unfulfilled because I wasn't creating and innovating, but I was thinking and ideating. And I think it gave me a lot of time to, like, realign a guy that totally screwed me over and dipped out when things got tough. At the very beginning, when everything went down, he was like, you know, I would love to see what happens to your brain and what problems you could solve if you just took six months off. And I unintentionally did. I just didn't know what I wanted to do next last year. So I kept building tech and working on stuff like that, but I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted to do.
- [37:09]
B
Interesting.
- [37:10]
A
And I only just clicked on what I wanted to do. Literally a week ago, two weeks ago, it was my birthday week. And I was like, huh? If money isn't an issue. And, I mean, it's very easy to get people to pay you to join a community where they're going to get value. Yeah, right. That's not a hard thing to do. It's easy. Run some ads. People come in, they get value, they stay.
- [37:28]
B
Mm.
- [37:29]
A
Before that, I was like, I'm just gonna continue to use my creative brain, market other things, make money, have fun. And then I had this, like, epiphany on my birthday trip in Breckenridge, where we got dumped on in April, by the way, which never happens. Oh, it rained snowed.
- [37:42]
B
Oh, snow.
- [37:42]
A
Yeah. Yeah. Snowed over a foot.
- [37:44]
B
Holy shit.
- [37:45]
A
The day of my birthday, it was fucking sick. And I spent my birthday teaching people how to snowboard that had never snowboarded.
- [37:50]
B
Yeah.
- [37:51]
A
Like, I wasn't even enjoying it for myself, which was funny, but it's just a testament to, like, who I am as a person. And I was talking to a good friend of mine, Jimmy Contrini, and Jimmy and I were talking, and I was just telling him some thoughts that I had on his business that I think helped him a bit. He was like, yeah, if you ever need anything, let me know. I call him back. 30 minutes later, I'm like, actually, I need something. What do you think of this idea, this just paywall business community? I almost did it before, but I was making great money, and I didn't really think that that was where I wanted to shift my focus. I feel really fulfilled when I do this. What do you think? And we came up with an idea, and we help each Other out a lot. He's a great dude. 10 out of 10. If anybody ever needs content, advisement, strategy advice. Jimmy is incredible, and he's been incredible to me. Very, very helpful. But I kind of came up with this idea and I was like, that is what I'm doing. This is 100% the direction that I'm going in. And I can do it from anywhere. Where back then when I was not working, I didn't really have an idea of what I was doing, and I never really found one. You know, I just went back to doing what I was already doing. I didn't find a new form of fulfillment. And I think that's the problem, is, like, I was making a lot of money. Business was good. I'm at the top of an industry. Everything's great. But I wasn't really happy or fulfilled. I wasn't solving new problems. I wasn't creating. I wasn't doing anything meaningful. And I think a lot of people think that money is the end product that you want, but it really isn't. It is to a point, but once you have enough to be comfortable coming in every year, everything beyond that is just bullshit noise. Like, it's good to continue to save money. And I've obviously could save money, right? So, like, I'm not like, saying, blow all your money, or I'm not saying, don't try to make more money. You should always try to make as much as you can while adding value and, you know, enjoying your life. You don't want to burn yourself into the ground and die to make money. That's stupid. But I don't think that I was fulfilled in the last couple years of my business before, like, I made more money than I had ever made, and I did more experiences and had more cars. I mean, jets, Bugatti, houses everywhere, all this shit. But I wasn't finding myself to be any happier when I woke up. And now today, I'm so much more at peace. I wake up when I want. I have no stress. Nothing can go wrong. I just wake up. I have great people in my life. I eat good food. I work on cool projects with really great people that provide real value to the world. And then I'm just building great technology that I think has a future and guiding people along their way.
- [40:10]
B
I love it. Yeah. I think the money hits different when you can see how it's changing other people's lives.
- [40:14]
A
Yeah. And I also think a lot of people, they overestimate how difficult it is to make money. Making money is not hard it's actually remarkably simple. It's basic math, Just a basic financial model. And then you have little nuanced niche tweaks for every industry that you end up in. Yeah. But it's not hard to make money. It's hard to be happy.
- [40:34]
B
Mm. That's a key difference. Yeah. Because you can make money. A lot of people make a ton of money and they're super unhappy. Unfulfilled.
- [40:40]
A
Yeah.
- [40:40]
B
I like saying unfulfilled more than happy because I think happy is temporary.
- [40:44]
A
I have. Dude, I have said to people so many times that happiness is a momentary thing.
- [40:50]
B
Right.
- [40:51]
A
And I get argued with all the time. I like to say more happy than not, because it's like, I'm not happy all the time.
- [40:57]
B
No one is.
- [40:58]
A
Right. And I have phases where I'm, like, not happy most of the time. Just. That's how life goes. Like, sometimes there's not. Stoked.
- [41:05]
B
Yeah.
- [41:05]
A
You know, or like, something goes wrong and you're just, like, bummed about it or relationship ends. Whatever. You're not, like, not ever going to be happy again. You're just not happy when you think about that thing. And I think more happy than not should be everybody's goal.
- [41:18]
B
Yeah.
- [41:18]
A
And I think fulfillment usually is where happiness can be found.
- [41:22]
B
Agreed. 100%, man. Well, we'll link. Is your community live yet or you didn't like.
- [41:26]
A
Yeah. So you can go to Discord. GG/B O W S K Y.
- [41:29]
B
Okay.
- [41:30]
A
It's free right now. It might be at the time this airs. It might not be putting the paywall up at the end of the month. Month.
- [41:35]
B
Okay. We'll link it below and we'll link your ig if people want to message you. But I appreciate you coming on again, man.
- [41:41]
A
Thank you, bro. Appreciate you having me.
- [41:42]
B
Yeah. Check them out, guys. Check it out.