Rory Scovel: A Comic's Comic

Summary

Podcast Summary: Disgraceful with Grace O'Malley – “Rory Scovel: A Comic's Comic”

Date: September 25, 2025
Host: Grace O’Malley
Guest: Rory Scovel

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Episode Overview

This episode of “Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley” features comedian, actor, and writer Rory Scovel, whose latest special “Religion, Sex and Few Things in Between” is out on Max, and who is about to embark on his “Know Your Enemy” tour. Grace, with her trademark irreverent wit, explores Rory’s comedic journey, personal quirks, and takes listeners through interactive listener voicemails about “things most people love that you hate.” The discussion winds through topics like showmanship in stand-up, cultural trends, personal pet peeves, the camaraderie (and rivalry) among comics, and how comedy keeps evolving in the age of social media. The episode is peppered with lighthearted banter, memorable bits, and the recurring assist of Grace’s “HR department” (her sister, Nora).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Banter & Tour Talk (02:14–04:07)

• Tour Naming: Rory explains the reasoning behind his tour title, “Know Your Enemy,” emphasizing that he doesn’t craft his hours thematically—titles are often retrofitted to the content and meant to sound intriguing.
  “I kinda just put it together and then tried to find some kind of thread…something that also sounded provocative in a way, like someone might want to come and see what it is.” – Rory (03:13)
• Special Title Transparency: Rory named his special “Religion, Sex and Few Things in Between” to signal exactly what’s covered, referencing backlash from an older special where he “said anal a lot” and encouraged people who didn’t like it to “bail now.”
  “…So in a way, I felt like I was doing you a service of saying, if you don’t like this, bail now.” – Rory (04:33)

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2. Showmanship, Lights, and the Art of the Comedy Opener (06:08–09:33)

• Elaborate Light Shows: Rory’s opening bit involved over-the-top light shows, a playful contrast to show size, which started as a “funny, stupid and fun” experiment at a half-empty Tucson tour stop.
  “It felt like if you took Madonna’s giant live show and you’re like, it’s going to be in a coffee shop today, but we’re still doing all the effects.” – Rory (07:31)
• Technical Challenges: The struggle with inconsistent tech crews led to scaling back; the segment highlights how much comics value creative control and how even simple stunts require teamwork and buy-in.

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3. Listener Voicemails: Things You Hate That Most People Love (09:34–29:52, recurring)

Notable Calls & Comic Reactions:

• Hating Summer (10:40): A listener rails against summer’s heat. Rory finds the communal misery of sweaty New Yorkers endearing: “When you got there, everybody was in the same boat… everybody was enduring the same kind of thing.” – Rory (11:28)
• Michael Bublé (13:51): Caller simply hates him. The group muses over “crooner cringe,” likening it to comics desperate for love from the crowd.
• Matcha (15:59): The hosts both hate matcha, suspecting it's a social performance:
  “…People are putting it on. They’re acting like it’s fucking great. It’s not.” – Rory (17:29)
• Live Music at Restaurants (17:37): Caller hates “dinner bands.” Grace and Rory agree: live music is fun at concerts and certain venues, but not when you want to talk over burgers; the distinction between ambiance and annoyance is clarified.
• Hugs (22:41): Some hate “casual hugging.” Rory reflects on his own unconscious touching/physical gestures, noting the difference between men’s and women’s experiences.
• Friday Night Socials (25:53): A 24-year-old admits preferring to stay in on Fridays. Rory, taken aback: “What you’re describing is pure bliss. I love it. …But you can’t be 24 and be in this space!” – Rory (26:17)
• Country Music (39:27): Caller is “highly against it, so change it.” Rory relates, revealing his adolescent rebellion via metal, but then appreciating old and new country, critiquing middle-of-the-road, trend-chasing themes.

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4. Comedy Career Deep Dives & Industry Insight (49:32–54:54)

• Guidance and Mentorship: Rory recounts his early days in the DC comedy scene, the diversity of comedic styles (shout outs to Eric Myers, Tony Woods), and how “wanting to keep up” with good comics improves everyone’s game.
• Comedic Identity & the New Public Sphere: The move from “funny/not funny” evaluation to aligning with social or comedic “gangs” is discussed, with Rory and Grace bemoaning comics now needing to be cool, to build “teams,” and balance podcast/online persona with stage craft.
  “…Before you were on the side of ‘you’re funny or you’re not.’ And there wasn’t any other social click element …” – Rory (44:54)

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5. Comic Notes, Craft, and Riffs (64:13–69:12)

• Jokes in My Notes: Grace and Rory share joke fragments and premises pulled from their phones:
  • Grace: “Ordering a Bloody Mary: spiked tomato, the strega nona way… gazpacho with a splash of Grey Goose…”
  • Rory: “Thriller is such a good album. I don’t care that Michael Jackson fucked those kids.”
• Brief aside about the futility of “house-made ketchup,” the irrelevance of anchovies-on-pizza discourse, and running meta jokes about notes as self-doubt or comic critique.

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6. “Disgraceful Receipts”: Deep Dives into Rory’s Online Footprint (75:35–89:21)

• Photo Oddities: Grace presents random images from Rory’s social media—him snorting a line off his chest, face swap app baby pictures, suits on stage, an old Department of War ID.
• Rory on Dressing Up:
  “…the moment you go on stage, even with just a blazer, but definitely with a tie, you can feel the audience going, ‘oh, let's pay attention.’” – Rory (82:41)
• Bit About Parenting: Rory describes telling his daughter that she’ll never fly "like a fairy" and grappling with when to reveal the Santa Claus truth:
  “…my kid was like, one day I’ll fly like a fairy. And my brain was like, tell your kid the truth at all times. And then I did.” – Rory (83:40)

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7. Closing Segments: Rapid Fire Shout-Outs & Callbacks (90:16–end)

• Shout Outs Galore: Grace and Rory riff back and forth in a mock-earnest shout out session—to family, to “Burning Man,” to MDMA, to everyone who told him to go to Burning Man.
  “Shout out MDMA. The first medicine I’ve ever truly had. You are incredible. I won’t abuse you, but thank you for being in my life.” – Rory (91:23)
• On “Word of Mouth”: A playful riff on the expression: “Word of mouth. Word of mouth. Is that what they say? …I think they say 'word them up.'” – Grace (92:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Transparency in Comedy:
  “…Let’s just title [the special] exactly what the topics are, so nobody wastes their time finding out what I talk about.” – Rory (04:36)
• On the Evolution of the Scene:
  “…It used to be, just you’re funny or not funny. That was because we also never presented outside of the stage. But now with like podcasts and social media, there’s everybody connection with the audience…” – Rory (48:03)
• On the Pressure to Engage Online:
  “We have to have our shows, we have to guest on shows, we have to have our own shows. We’ve got to have social media presence…otherwise no one knows we do any of the things that we do.” – Rory (49:15)
• On the Innocence of Youthful Confidence:
  “That kid probably thought he was going to play professional basketball. And literally thought in his head that that was a viable option. No, if I work hard, I can do it.” – Rory (86:14)
• On the Futility of Anchovy Warnings:
  “There was always such a … Like, I grew up thinking as an adult, you’d really have to contend with people who wanted anchovies on pizza…” – Rory (67:38)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tour Title and Special Discussion: 02:36–04:36
• Light Show Opener Origin: 06:08–07:46
• Caller Voicemail - Hating Summer: 10:40–13:38
• Matcha Smackdown: 15:59–17:29
• On Live Music in Bars/Restaurants: 17:37–21:58
• On Friday Night Fatigue and 24-Year-Olds: 25:53–29:52
• Country Music and High School Musical Identity: 39:27–44:42
• Mentorship and DC Comedy Roots: 49:32–54:54
• Jokes in My Notes / Standup Process: 64:13–69:12
• Disgraceful Receipts (social media/online bits): 75:35–89:21
• Shout-out Lightning Round: 90:16–92:24

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Tone, Structure & Style

The podcast features a loose, conversational rhythm, generously laced with meta-commentary, comic self-deprecation, affection for the absurd, and sharp cultural observations. Grace and Rory maintain a playful, teasing rapport and occasionally deliver sincere insight beneath the banter.

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For Listeners New & Old

Whether you’re a longtime Rory Scovel fan, a comic looking for wisdom on navigating the contemporary comedy world, or just here for lighthearted takes on everyday irritations, this episode delivers a hearty serving of both laughs and real talk. Grace O’Malley’s inventive segments (voicemails, “jokes in my notes,” “disgraceful receipts”) keep the structure lively while Rory’s openness about his process, career bumps, and artistic choices provide substance for comedy aficionados.

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“Shout Outs”

(91:23) Rory:
Shout out to my wife and child who I love endlessly. Shout out everyone who comes out to live comedy—never discount how powerful it is for you to tell someone to go see a show. …Also, shout out MDMA, the first medicine I’ve ever truly had.”

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Final Note:
Stay disgraceful—and keep calling in. As always, every complaint, tangent, and weird childhood anecdote is welcome here. Shout out to everyone we were mean to!

Transcript

[Grace O'Malley]

Morning, Zoe. Got donuts.

[Donna]

Jeff Bridges, why are you still living above our garage?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I dig the mattress and I want to be in a T Mobile commercial like you teach me. So, Dana.

[Donna]

Oh no, I'm not really prepared. I couldn't possibly at T Mobile get the new iPhone 17 Pro on them.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's designed to be the most powerful iPhone yet and has the ultimate pro camera system. Wow, impressive. Let me try. T Mobile is the best place to get iPhone 17 Pro because they've got the best network. Nice. Je free. You heard them. T Mobile is the best place to get the new iPhone 17 Pro on us with eligible traded in any condition. So what are we having for lunch? Dude, my work here is done. The 24 month bill credit experience beyond for well qualified customers plus tax and 35 device connection charge credit send and balance due. If you pay off earlier, Cancel Finance Agreement. IPhone 17 Pro 256 gigs 1099.99 A new line minimum 100 plus a month plan with auto PayPal, taxes and fees required. Best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Oklahoma Speed Test Intelligence Data 182025 Visit T mobile.com ABC Wednesday Shifting gears is back. It has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

[Donna]

What What?

[Grace O'Malley]

With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and. Hey, buddy. A big home improvement reunion.

[Donna]

Welcome. Oh boy, that guy's a tool.

[Grace O'Malley]

Shifting Gears season premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Coming at you live from a shady Manhattan studio, it's Disgraceful. Featuring your gracious ginger host.

[Donna]

Hey, watch yourself. Only I can say that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, boss, whatever you say. You pay my bills. Give it up for Grace o'. Malley.

[Donna]

Hi, guys. Welcome back to Disgraceful. This week I'm joined by actor, writer and standup comedian. His latest comedy special, Royal Scoville. Religion, Sex and Few things in between can currently be streamed on Max. You can get tickets now to his Know youw Enemy tour coming to a city near you this fall in 2026. How we doing?

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that. We did great. Thank you.

[Donna]

I gave a preface that I'm not a good reader before this.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then immediately when you started, I was like, oh, this is great.

[Donna]

And then midway through I'm like, I'm nervous again.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think that's what happens. We get a little too head start strong. Oh God. Oh, God. I don't know these words. Yeah, yeah, this is great. Thanks for having me.

[Donna]

Thanks for coming on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

[Donna]

Know your Enemy tour.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

What's. What's the reasoning behind that?

[Grace O'Malley]

I think it's because I. I'm not. Maybe you're like this, maybe you're not. I don't really put a show together that feels like some kind of cohesive thematic thing. I kind of wish I did.

[Donna]

It's a. Yeah. I mean, I've heard people. They name their tour first.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And then go by that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Which I do also kind of like that. I love titles. Like, I think it's fun to, like, come up with something that feels relevant. And so I put this hour together. I'm not someone who puts an hour together very quickly. I. I, myself, after 21 years of doing this, am shocked that I put out a special in 2024, and yet I now have an hour to go back out. I know we have peers who. That would be very slow for them. Yeah, it's very fast for me. So I kind of just put it together and then tried to find some kind of thread or something that also sounded provocative in a way, like someone might want to come and see what it is, and. And I just landed on that title. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

I mean, it's intriguing for sure, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. That's kind of what I like about, like, what's the message here? When it's like, you know, I get into some politics, and my usual stuff is always politics, religion, sex, drugs. I don't really shy from.

[Donna]

Those are weird things to talk about in the show.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also, wildly broad strokes or be. Oh, yeah, you're talking about family, too now.

[Donna]

Is that why you named your special that?

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly. Well, I just.

[Donna]

Hilarious, by the way I named it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you. I named it that because I. I put out my Netflix special in 2017, and I opened with a joke where I just say anal a lot, as much as I can, because it was just funny and stupid and fun. Yeah. And so many people were, like, left a message of, like, I would have watched more. But that's all you did. And I didn't like it. And I was kind of like, yeah, that's what I think is funny. So in a way, I felt like I was doing you a service of saying, if you don't like this, bail now.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're not. You don't need to do the work.

[Donna]

A little intro for you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And if you do like that, I think you'll probably like all of it. So with this special, I was like, let's just title it exactly what the topics are, so nobody wastes their time finding out what I Talk about yeah. Introducing family freedom from T Mobile. We'll pay off four phones up to 3, 200 and give you four free phones all on America's largest 5G network. Visit t mobile.com familyfreedom up to 800 per line via virtual prepaid card. Typically takes 15 days. Free phones via 24 monthly bill credits with finance agreement. Example Apple iPhone 16128 gigs 829.99 eligible trade in. Example iPhone 11 Pro for well qualified credits end and balance due if you pay off early or cancel Contact us ABC Wednesday. Shifting Gears is back. He has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number new comedy.

[Donna]

What what?

[Grace O'Malley]

With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and hey buddy. A big home improvement reunion.

[Donna]

Welcome. Oh boy, that guy's a tool.

[Grace O'Malley]

Shifting Gears season premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Donna]

And it's very hard for not a single soul to relate to any of those three things.

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly. Yes. It's so prevalent in everybody's life. So it's like here a topic you can understand and relate to.

[Donna]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

I. My favorite part about your special. Well, not my favorite part, but what I really loved was the beginning. I loved a lot of it is what I'm trying to say. But the beginning and the light show, I thought that was incredible. And then just being like, that was a lot. That was a lot, right, guys?

[Grace O'Malley]

Too much. Yeah. That was also something that kind of was born out of. Out of the tour. Just touring around. We kind of found that song and then we're like, oh, let's go up to it tonight. And I remember we were at a venue and doing the soundcheck and we just asked the lighting person, we were like, could you. I was like, if I come out to this, can you make like a crazy light show? And the like lighting person got so excited. Like, they're like, oh, I'll, I'll program something now. I think it was in Tucson and so. And also it was in Tucson, it maybe held 200 people. And I think we sold 100 tickets. Which made it even funnier that this like massive presentation for someone who didn't even sell like half the tickets. Barely sold off the tickets. And when they did it, I came out and after the show, my tour manager, my buddy Grant, we were both like, that was so funny. I was like, I should just do that every time.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so anytime we had a lighting person who kind of got excited by it, we would do it and then over time, I just kept starting with how absolutely ridiculous it is, because it is.

[Donna]

It's great. And then it gets everyone going. And then, like, you have to readjust them. Cause it's like you don't know where we are at a comedy show.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. The lights come back up. You're like, now back to just me standing here. Yeah. It felt like if you took, like, Madonna's, like, giant live show and you're like, it's going to be in a coffee shop today, but we're still doing all of the effects, everything's going to be the same. Yeah.

[Donna]

I've been. I've been teetering with the idea of. I really want a comic opener, but also a DJ opener as well.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And I'm trying to figure out how the hell you can go from like 180bpm to.

[Grace O'Malley]

To jokes.

[Donna]

My dad hates me.

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel like Cypher. Cypher, the only one. I'll DJ and put some jokes in between. Yeah.

[Donna]

I just. I think there's. There's something there to get. Like it's like an experience as well as, like, it's something different.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, I like that. I'm. I'm all about trying anything different. Yeah, that sounds cool.

[Donna]

Yeah. But I love the lights. And I didn't know it started with like a. Just a regular show. I think that's awesome. You do that every time now.

[Grace O'Malley]

We started. Well, we did it for that tour. We were doing it like every time. Time. And, you know, it's funny. I mean, sometimes we did get to a venue that was like, oh, yeah, we'll do a light show. And then they would do it. It was like the shittiest.

[Donna]

It's like one guy with his iPhone.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I was like, you're kind of barely doing it. And like, they said over there, over there for like an hour programming, so. And then we were like, oh, it doesn't seem like they did. Like, it seems like they're just literally flicking one knob up and down.

[Donna]

But yeah, one kid in college, she's like, oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I told my tour manager. I was like, hey, I think for this tour, I'm going to scale it back so that we don't have to deal with that. It sounds like, hey, can you make a light show for my show?

[Donna]

Yeah. The discussion is probably about 30, maybe 40.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

And itself.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's right. Yeah. Just explaining to them. And then at this beat, bring the lights back up. You could tell there. Some people were excited and some were like, I don't want to fucking do this.

[Donna]

It was a comedy show and my job here.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just wanted to set the lights and then get the fuck out of here. No, no, no. Stay and make my show happen.

[Donna]

Do lots of make fun color.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it was fun. It was fun to do.

[Donna]

That's awesome. I. To get this started, we have voicemails.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

That people have submitted. And I think it'll be a good way to ease on into the rest of the pod.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, totally. I love it.

[Donna]

So we're gonna get headphones going and listen in.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that.

[Donna]

I hate summer. Summer is the worst. It is so hot. It is too hot. I live in a state that should not get hot. And it was probably 95 degrees for two months this summer when it never gets that hot. Nothing is worse than going to work, going grocery shopping, going anywhere, and sweating through your clothing. If you're a sweaty bitch like me, you would rather be wearing as little clothing as possible. But in that case, I'm going to stay in my house where it's appropriate and children don't have to see me. Oh, she's wearing. In the winter, you can always put more clothes on. You cannot take your skin off in the summer. And my skin is just too hot. So that is my issue. And who the fuck wants to take six showers a day? Going swimming and in water. Bodies of water and all that shit? Nobody. Thank you. Love you. Bye.

[Grace O'Malley]

Love you, too. As though they're there.

[Donna]

Love you, sweaty girl. I forgot to preface. So the prompt was.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

The prompt was. What's something that most people love that you hate?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, okay.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I gotta say, sweaty bitch like me is actually my merch for the tour.

[Donna]

Is that right?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's gonna be on hats, posters, T shirts. Sweaty bitch like me, you can't take.

[Donna]

Off your skin on the back.

[Grace O'Malley]

And also you can't take off your skin. You can. You're not going to live through it, but you can do that.

[Donna]

You can.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. What are your thoughts on that?

[Donna]

I mean, I. I'm kind of with it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Kind of with her there. She just sounds like she spends three months out of the year very miserable, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

There's no happy medium there.

[Grace O'Malley]

I. When I used to live in. In New York, I got so used to the fact that you are gonna get sweat, you're on your way to work, you are gonna get sweaty, you're on a fucking crowded subway. But the thing I kind of like. And also like going out to dinner or to a bar. The thing I kind of liked is that when you got there, everybody was in the same boat. Everybody was like, yeah, we all smell. Yeah, we all are sweaty. And you just kind of. It kind of made it seem like nobody was, because everybody was enduring the same kind of thing. And I kind of got over. Because I get it. I kind of got over that hump of, oh, God, I need to clean off and be fresh.

[Donna]

Yeah. So you just run around stinky sweat.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No one's judging you because they're like, yeah, fuck, it's hot as fuck. What do you. What do you expect?

[Donna]

You kind of can bond over it. Like, if you walk into a new place in, like, a new room or something with new people that you haven't met before, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm sweating. They're like, oh, don't worry, I'm sweating too. It's kind of like, yeah, we friends.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now, I gotta say. And also, being like, I live in a state that shouldn't get this hot, I think that's. That's gonna be sort of the sentiment for the rest of our lives. I mean, you gotta find joy in the fact that it's only 95 for three months straight, because next summer could be 105 for three months straight.

[Donna]

The way things are going, it seems.

[Grace O'Malley]

As if you're not going the other way.

[Donna]

Yeah. No, that ozone layer is broken. We're in trouble.

[Grace O'Malley]

We are in trouble.

[Donna]

Where do you live?

[Grace O'Malley]

I live in Denver, so it's kind of great. The summers can get hot and the winters are not so brutal. It's kind of perfect for me.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I had lived in LA for 14 years, and when we moved, we were like, we can't go to a place that has a brutal winter. We're not acclimated to that.

[Donna]

Yeah. You'd be like her in the summertime, Right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly.

[Donna]

It is too cold.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's too cold.

[Donna]

It gets to be snowing sometimes.

[Grace O'Malley]

I also got to say, when she was like, you can put on a lot of clothes. You can't take your skin off. Like, if you're worried about showing up smelling and sweaty and not looking fresh, you kind of can't put on so many clothes. You'll look just as ridiculous as if you sort of smelled sweaty.

[Donna]

There's, like, long sleeves in the winter.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You maybe get three layers. And then after that, people are calling you out, like, what the do you have on?

[Donna]

No wonder you're so hot. Yeah, of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

Look at what you're wearing.

[Donna]

All right, let's go for the next one, Michael Buble.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also some of my merch. Also some of my merch. Michael.

[Donna]

Michael Buble. And that's it.

[Grace O'Malley]

No explanation why I love the before. As though we should know. Michael Buble, of course.

[Donna]

Like, of course. Oh, Michael Buble. What. What the. Did he do wrong?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I don't. I don't. I guess I don't know much about him other than he's great singer, he's Christmas.

[Donna]

There's like five artists that are like, you are Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's him. Mariah Carey.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Maybe there's only two.

[Grace O'Malley]

It might just be those two now, but I know what you mean. There's always some people that think that's their thing. The crooners. I guess. I guess Maybe this guy doesn't like crooners. Maybe.

[Donna]

Oh, yeah, because he's kind of like a.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's got that sort of Vegasy crooner.

[Donna]

Yeah. But you got to be right next to me. That kind of thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

I bet. I bet this. This hatred or this sort of annoyance maybe is because he feels a little cringe. I don't know. Michael Buble, so I don't want to talk shit, but crooners. I gotta assume if you're a crooner, there's a little cringe in there.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever see the Decals?

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Donna]

I made two Tim Robinson jokes that went right over your head.

[Grace O'Malley]

Missed him. Missed him completely.

[Donna]

Damn.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I. I think there's something to like. If we, like. When you see a comic go on stage, like, desperate for the crowd to like them, I think it's a similar cringe in that space as like, maybe when a crooner is desperately trying to get the crowd to really, like, dig them too.

[Donna]

Yeah, no, that's true, too. He's also. I feel like he's one of those artists where you're not allowed to sing along. Yeah, like, he's like, no, no, no, I'm the singer. Yeah, I'm the singer. Have you ever seen Lord do that?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no.

[Donna]

She is. Oh, she shushes her crowd.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, wow.

[Donna]

Yes. Are you familiar with Lord?

[Grace O'Malley]

I am, but I didn't know that. That's like. Because she's got some. Sing along. Like. No, Your song's super popular. It's fun to sing along with you, dude.

[Donna]

It's crazy. Like, it's this one song and she's like. And she, like, does it, like. She kind of goes witch mode. I'm not gonna lie. And she's just. Everyone shushes her Audience.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And then she'll sing it, and everyone will be quiet, and then they'll start singing because they're like, we love this.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And it's building. Cut the music, guys. I didn't pay to hear you. You paid to hear me. Oh, all right.

[Donna]

I guess so. All right, next one. One thing that everybody loves that I hate, and I think they're pretending to love is matcha. It tastes like dirt water. I think everyone's pretending to like it to look cool and trendy. It's disgusting.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna second that.

[Donna]

I'm gonna. I'm gonna triple that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, Right.

[Donna]

I'm not in on matcha. I'm a coffee gal.

[Grace O'Malley]

Same.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I'm like, I don't. I don't get it.

[Donna]

I've tried it a thousand times.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And every time, you go, this is the time.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And it's net. You're like, nope, same as last time. It's just exact same as last time.

[Donna]

My sister would rather get a matcha than a coffee, and I'll try hers every time she gets one just to be like, let me just make sure.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And that's got to be annoying. Sorry about that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also, the trend with matcha, too, is, like, it does seem like any of these places, it, like, just keeps getting sweeter and sweeter, and you just want to be like, yeah, sugar. We all like sugar. Sugar.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, there's people who douse their coffee and sugar, and you're like, yeah, you don't really like coffee. You really love sugar. And, like, matcha. It's like, you don't like it. You want that sugar kick.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And those drinks look awesome. They look great.

[Donna]

I love that color.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. That's a great color. Yes. And they come in a cool cup, and you just feel like you're being left out. And then you go, give me a sip. And you're like, I don't. I'd rather just black in a cup. I don't need it.

[Donna]

Yeah. I don't. Yeah. See, what you said about the sugar thing? Starbucks had, like, a lavender one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

So it was like. It was green and purple. I love the lavender part. But then when I got down to the matcha, I was like, fuck, I really don't like this stuff.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it is. I think that's a good description. It does taste like dirt. I think people are putting on a. They're putting it on. They're acting like it's fucking great. It's not.

[Donna]

I'm glad we're getting These takes. This is good. I don't like that. Most people like is live music, like, at a bar, whatever. I can't. Or at. Mostly at a restaurant. I cannot stand that you finally get the time to meet up with your friends, go hang out, and they want to go somewhere. To the burger restaurant that has live music playing. No. How are we supposed to talk? How are we supposed to catch up? I'm not trying to scream at you over this. Live music all night long. It's terrible. I hate it. Unless it's a concert or a music festival, I don't want there to be live music that's trashy. And restaurant. It's crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

I got that. They. They pivoted in the middle because they started with live music blanket.

[Donna]

And they're like, I probably sound crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

I should probably pivot, then pivoted into a space. I think we could all probably agree on, like. I also don't necessarily want a live band when I'm having dinner, but I think that might be on your crew you're running with. If they're like, let's go get burgers, there's a band playing.

[Donna]

Yeah. I think you can pick your fucking own adventure here. Like, you don't have to keep going. Like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And she did have a little bit of a twang.

[Grace O'Malley]

There was a twang. So.

[Donna]

So I think this might be a southern thing, which I know nothing about.

[Grace O'Malley]

I. I know a lot about it. And there is that there also could be in such a southern location where. I don't know, maybe it's small town. Maybe there aren't a lot of options where they go get dinner or burger. But, yeah, I think that might be your crew. Don't go. Stop going to those places. But yeah, live music in general for concerts is fucking fun. Yes, they can also be bad, but it just means that's not the show you wanted to go to. But fucking. They can be incredible too.

[Donna]

Yeah, I. You lost me at the first half. I was. I already planned of what I was gonna say. I was gonna say thank you so much for listening. It's been fun. But you're probably gonna hate me after this.

[Grace O'Malley]

I thought that.

[Donna]

Yeah. Because you can't. And I mean, that's just insane.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, let me ask you. You're at a Mexican restaurant. Mariachi band.

[Donna]

Thank you. Please.

[Grace O'Malley]

Better. Or you. You want that or you don't want that?

[Donna]

I want that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I love a blast. Yeah. Yeah.

[Donna]

Why? What do you got against mariachi band?

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I was gonna say, I think that's the only time I maybe like that.

[Donna]

Yeah. Well, no. Well, I'm Irish. Or if it's like. I'm like, Irish music is always great.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

Like at an Irish bar.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Like, if I'm in a restaurant or a cocktail bar and someone's like, yeah, there's someone playing jazz, I'm like, yeah, it fits.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think it's when that music that you can't decide. You're like, are we having dinner or are we at a concert? And I think sometimes that's. That's maybe the venue's fault or the artist's fault for thinking they're doing a show. Show.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know. Like, if you go to Irish pub and you're like, there's live. A live band playing, like, Irish music or, like, Dropkick Murphy type shit, you're like, well, this is where this. This lives here?

[Donna]

Yeah, this is. Boys, have you been doing. Living here?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Yeah. I. I don't know. I think the only thing I wouldn't be really in on would be, like, if someone was going nuts on a banjo. I don't like.

[Grace O'Malley]

But wait, what is. But what is the meal that you're having that.

[Donna]

Well, it's gonna be chicken and waffles, but barbecue.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's gotta be some sort of barbecue. And the guy's playing acoustic, sad country songs.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Like, you definitely don't want to be eating a burger and some guy's just up there covering matchbox 20 and you're like, what the fuck is this?

[Donna]

Like, sorry, wait, what did you say? You're pregnant. Can you.

[Grace O'Malley]

My friend is pregnant.

[Donna]

We can't even hear each other.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, guys, here's some Everclear. Wait, what the fuck is this?

[Donna]

Let the Bodies hit the floor.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. And you're just, like, going in for a bite. Like, wait, what is it?

[Donna]

That's where I would lose my mind. But I still think that would be very funny.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Just the complete Clash. Clash moment. There's a death metal band there. Came from Norway. Anyways, here's your souffle.

[Donna]

Oh, it's a breakfast.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah. Here's your hash browns.

[Donna]

Wake up and rock out over easy eggs.

[Grace O'Malley]

And some major power chords.

[Donna]

Yeah, she. You lost me in the first half. You got me back a little bit in the second half. Yeah, but I still. I don't know. I think music is great whenever. Musicians, on the other hand.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Yeah, that's something.

[Grace O'Malley]

You don't know what you're getting sometimes.

[Donna]

You don't know what you're getting all right.

[Grace O'Malley]

You could get a buble. You don't know.

[Donna]

Yeah. Hey, Grace, my name's Donna. Love you. Are you sure about that?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a fake name, right? My name's. Oh, I didn't think about this.

[Donna]

I thought this was going to be anonymous. It is. She doesn't know.

[Grace O'Malley]

She doesn't have to give a name. Also, Donna, like, went up with a question mark at the end.

[Donna]

She just looked at her mom. Donna.

[Grace O'Malley]

Your name's Donna. So I'll say my name's Donna.

[Donna]

I'm Donna. What you got going on, Don? Hey, Grace, my name's Donna. Love ya.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that was faster that time.

[Donna]

One thing that most people like that I can't stand tugs. Like, I hate when you just hugs or pugs and they're like, hug, oh, nice to meet you. And then they just go in for a hug. Like, it makes me so upset. I didn't agree to touch bodies with this person that I don't even know. All right, I gotta rethink some things.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I know.

[Donna]

I greeted you today with a handshake. I don't know why I did that. Cause I usually go in for a hug.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm into. And maybe it's me. I'm into all of it. I think. I, I, I will concede that sometimes an absolute stranger that I might address. I don't even know why I do this. I'll, like, kind of touch their shoulder or like just below their shoulder on their back. And even when I go to do it, I'm just like, why do I fucking have to like. I know there's definitely. I mean, I do it so much. I'm like, there's definitely so many people who are like, just fucking say your thing. But I. And I don't even know what compels me to do it. And so I can kind of understand that. I mean, definitely I get, like, the hug thing. I gotta say, from the perspective of a woman, I'm sure it's a whole other fucking arena of. And now I'm gonna touch you. And it's like, I fully get that. But as a guy, I probably have more indifference to it. Maybe because I'm like, yeah, let's hug. I don't fucking care.

[Donna]

You should run for office. That was a great answer.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you. Thanks. Playing both sides so delicately.

[Donna]

That was really good and political. But we're talking hugs, Bab.

[Grace O'Malley]

Anyways, that's my platform. I will say this free hugs thing when you're at a concerts, like, guys, we did it. We did.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Did the free hugs. I get. It's nice now. It feels like you're just trying to touch people. Yeah.

[Donna]

You're on drugs and you just really want it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just want human contact. I know. I know you do.

[Donna]

You should have came with a friend. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You should have a buddy. You should have a travel buddy here.

[Donna]

No. When it comes to hugs, a new thing I've been doing is everyone, like. I feel like I personally get frazzled whether someone wants a handshake or a hug. So for the most part, I usually just go, I'm a hugger. I'm not. I'm not a hugger. But it just makes it. It, like, cuts the bullshit.

[Grace O'Malley]

It diffuses the awkwardness.

[Donna]

Yeah. Like, oh, sorry, I hug everybody.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah. I'll just say that it's a smart move, I think.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I hate the, like, kind of going in for a hug and then they sort of stop you with the handshake, but you're already in motion, and so you do that handshake hug. And I'm like, I just would rather have done the hug or. Because at a distance, just a handshake. You're like, yeah, I guess I don't know you, but it just feels so in like. Or so formal.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That you're like, okay. Hi.

[Donna]

I really take back my handshake when we first met today, but it makes sense.

[Grace O'Malley]

I came out of nowhere. Yeah, you did.

[Donna]

You were. You were in like a whole separate room.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was like, oh, I was hiding. I was gonna pop out and do a whole thing. Ye.

[Donna]

That's funny.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, hey. You were thrown off. You were thrown off. Yeah. Yeah.

[Donna]

Well, I'm sorry people are hugging you, girl. Hi, Grace. One thing that people like and understand any. Honestly, hanging out on a Friday night, I feel like I worked all week and I finally get home and eat dinner and honestly, I am just. I'm just tired. Not even that old. I am.

[Grace O'Malley]

Try to guess this. Oh, 24.

[Donna]

What the fuck?

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, never mind. My whole argument just dissipated immediately anyways. I'm 17. Like, oh, okay. Yeah. No, get some. Get some rest. Jesus. 24. You have no fucking. Look. What you're describing is pure bliss. I love it. I would love to go to bed at 8 o', clock, but I'm 45. You're. You can't be 24 and be in this space. I mean, maybe you can. Maybe you'll live forever, but. But yeah, that doesn't seem. I get it. You're working now. You're out of college if you went. And now you're working a lot, and Fridays you're like, I'm fucking tired. But there's a reason why we, as people talk about grabbing a beer at 5pm yeah. Because you're like, I did all that. Now I want to fucking get the energy of the hang. You can still go to bed at a reasonable hour and sleep on Saturday. Maybe. I don't. I don't know this person's life.

[Donna]

I don't give a fuck about her sleep schedule. She's 24 years old. I don't understand.

[Grace O'Malley]

That was a shock.

[Donna]

I. I'm listening to this feeling, like, with the. With the girl who doesn't like the music at the bars.

[Grace O'Malley]

These would be. These are friends.

[Donna]

They should be pals. And.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, this is a misconnection.

[Donna]

I'm thinking, has my audience gotten older?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, well, no. 24. 24 years old.

[Donna]

I was worried for a second there, and. Because I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to. I don't really know how to entertain an older girl.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, Grace, it's me, Patricia. I just. I'm 95 and just don't get it anymore. I'm 12 and I f. I'm just. I don't want to ride my bike with my friends to the gas station. Like, really, you should stop listening. That's what you do. 24. That's. That's, again, maybe that's your crew and it's less your. You might be like, oh, is my. Is the vibe with the crew bad? It could be you. It also could be you. Yeah, but step back and be like, wait, are these people actually just not fun? Because that can steer you to be like, no, I don't want to fucking hang out. I'm going to go to bed. Yeah, because your crew's bad.

[Donna]

And I also think there's potential. And I'm sorry if this is the case, but she might not have a crew.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know what now. And so now we're tapping into the deeper space, or you got to find your. I want to go further on this. I refuse to believe at 24, you're like, Nah, I just. I worked all week. I'd love to know what your job is, and I'd love to judge you harshly on if you should be tired on Friday. Yeah. I think also our jobs start Friday night. Thursday night. Yeah, Friday night. So now, granted, we didn't, like, work all day, but we made a good decision in what our jobs were. But I. I can't Imagine not wanting to go out. Maybe you. You don't know what you're into yet. Yeah, you don't know what you like. I mean, 24 and I give you.

[Donna]

Back in the day.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I'll give it to you at 24 that you're like, I still don't really know what I'm into. Totally. You could still not know your jam, but you might. And I'm throwing this out, which sounds so cliche, and I don't even mean this, but you might be like, actually really love salsa dancing. You know what I mean? Doesn't that sound so cliche? But let's go with it. You might be like, oh, my God, I went salsa dancing one time and I fucking love it. And they're like, yeah, we always go on on Friday night. It's this place that it's. It starts really at 8:00 o', clock, but it really starts at like 10:00pm and they're like. And I go every Friday. And then the problem was that you just didn't find your fucking jam. You just didn't fucking find your jam. And then you found it and you're like, oh, Friday nights are fun again. Yeah, I think that's the thing.

[Donna]

Yeah. I think 24 is like a pivotal time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

You're like. You're like, oh, who am I? Should I go to rehab? Like, that would probably be. But yeah, if you're really considering it.

[Grace O'Malley]

The answer is yes.

[Donna]

Aw, rats. I got a good handle on things now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Boogers. That's links, I think. Comedy. That's where I put it. That's the place for it.

[Donna]

The beers different. Yeah, they're free.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Donna]

Gotta say no.

[Grace O'Malley]

My problem got worse because everything was now just handed to me. Yeah, I know. It's sort of a catch 22.

[Donna]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think at 24, you got to give it a bigger push. Don't give up. Yeah, There's. There's. At least try. There's. There's a lot of fun out there. You could live in a boring place. They didn't say where they're. Where they're.

[Donna]

Yeah, I'm curious.

[Grace O'Malley]

Could be boring.

[Donna]

What. What were you up to at 24?

[Grace O'Malley]

I had moved, so, I mean, that's. That's when I started doing this. So I was like fucking every night of the week. I was like, all right, go to my job. I was like. I was basically a secretary for a government contracting firm for the Department of Defense, which sounds all very important now. The Department of War and I. Which is so Christian. I would I would just answer phones. And it was like eight hours. And that's right when I started doing stand up. So the moment Monday through Friday, 5pm I was like, ripping those clothes off to be like, let's get to the mic. Even if I wasn't up, you know, you just want to be around it.

[Donna]

So you worked for the government?

[Grace O'Malley]

I worked for the government, yeah. For this contracting firm? Yeah. Yeah. My sister. My older sister helped me get a job. And I had to, like, answer phones, transfer calls, make sure.

[Donna]

What's a phone call. They're like, hello, Department of Defense, how may we help you?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it was just. Well, for the company, I would just, like, say what little office I was in, and I would be in an office that had, like, eight government employees. And our firm was like, hey, and you got to make sure they're happy. And so I would, like, restock supplies, make sure the printer is working when someone has a meeting. Make sure the conference room is legit. Dude, there.

[Donna]

Bullets and ammo.

[Grace O'Malley]

One time. This is a true story. There's one time they decide to do a unannounced, There's a shooter in the building drill, but unannounced, so no one knows that this isn't real. And to get into our office, you have to be buzzed in. And this is like. You know, there's like. It wasn't a ring cam, but there's a camera that pops up to see who's at the door. Everyone gets an alert on their computer and maybe on their blackberries, you know, at the time. And everyone in our office is like. They come out and they're like, roy, is the door locked? No one's thinking it's a drill.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I go, the door is locked. It always, like, locks. I went and checked. It's. It's fucking locked. And then there was like, a buzz and banging on the door. Look on the camera, a masked person with, like, kind of a. I couldn't tell what it was. We all, like, froze. And I just immediately, because I'm sitting at the phones all day, my instinct, I just somehow picked up the phone and not even looking, dialed 91 1. And I'm like, like, here's our current situation. Here's our address. Here's the floor we're on. Here's this. I'm just, like, saying it while we're all staring at this monitor. And they're like, we're sending someone now. Do you have any other information? I'm like, all the information is that this person is here. And then He. I was like, he's now walked off to go to another area. You know, this is all still very frequent post 9 11.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is all us in a world of, like, Columbine has happened. And I don't know if by then it had, like, spawned other, like, shootings, but, like, you know, being in a crazy world. And then everyone got this thing on their computer that it was a drill to see how we, like, responded in the event of a real scenario. We all, like, are looking at each other. Everyone is, like, so relieved and wildly furious. I mean, people were making phone calls to family members.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so we're all suddenly, like, coming down from this unnecessary, like, high in.

[Donna]

The middle of the workday.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then somebody. I get a call, and it's the police. And they're like, you phone 911, and the police are here to talk to you. And so my boss is like, yeah, you got to go down there and talk to him. Just tell them the situation. I was, like, thinking in my head, well, sure. I go down there, and I go, yeah, it was like a drill. And these guys are yelling at me. They're like, you understand? Like, this is like a federal offense. You can't just call 9 1. I go, there was what I believed at the time to be an active shooter in. In the building. They were, like, wanting me to keep explaining it. They're like, what is in this building? Yeah. I go, it's a government office. I go, it's a bunch of different contractors, like, making sure government employees have, like, whatever their resources. Like, we got an email, which I can show you. We went into lockdown. A guy's on the camera. I go, what you really should do is talk to the person inside who orchestrated this drill, because. And I was like, also, why am I the only one who called you? And I think they were like, yes, why are you the only one who called us? And I was like, look, I don't know what to tell you other than what happened, but if you'd like to talk to the person I now know who orchestrated, because we got an email.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I go, you should talk to that person. They're like, all right, we're good. I went inside. They milled about. And I went inside and just stared at the dude who orchestrated. I was like, I was just talking to the police because I thought we were all gonna die.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That guy was like, okay. I was like, they should talk to you, right? And he was like, no, I think we've, like, covered it. And I go, I think you're now playing out in your mind how bad of an idea this was that you thought was gonna be such a great training exercise. The. Yeah, it was bizarre.

[Donna]

That's out of control.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was. I. I can still see in my mind that image of this dude on the camera who I think was the guy who orchestrated it.

[Donna]

Wait, really?

[Grace O'Malley]

And in my mind, I'm like, how bizarre? Because this. There are. This is the government. This is also the Department of War. There's definitely people in here who probably have a gun in their desk and no one knows about it. And this. And if they would have stepped out, been like, I'll be the hero. They would have fucking killed you.

[Donna]

That's a crazy move.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was insane. And I remember just being shocked that I was in this space where I thought, oh, everyone here's, like, official and knows the deal. And then you go, oh, adults. We're the rest of your life. You make horrifically uncalculated choices that are bizarre. And, like, this guy's, like, in charge. I was like, what a fucking weird thing.

[Donna]

I wonder if they do that now still. Like, I wonder if, like, people do those drills now, and. And they're like, oh, it's just a drill. Then one day it's like, oh, it's just a drill, and it's not a drill. That's the scary part.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's the scary part. I got to say, like, that's the saddest part of what we live in now is that my kid comes home and is like, we did an active shooter drill at school. And you're like, and you need to. And I hate that you have to. Asking your child about what a. An active shooter drill is. There's no way you can hear what they're saying and not have tears just streaming down your face of like. Like, what have we done? What have we done?

[Donna]

It's so.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's the saddest. Yeah. Anyways, I hate summer, too.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Donna]

Okay, Donna.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now I don't even remember what the question was.

[Donna]

Can't even recall.

[Grace O'Malley]

What was that? What were they talking about going out on a Friday? Anyways, that's my short answer. How I feel about going out with friends. Dancing with the Stars is back. Tuesdays, the celebrity dance competition and social media phenomenon returns with an electrifying new cast, including wildlife conservationist Robert Irwin, social media personality Alex Earle, stars of the Secret Lives of Mormon wives Jen Affleck and Whitney Levitt, and more. Join hosts Alfonso Ribeiro and Julianne Hough for a Season premiere, guaranteed to pump up the jam. Who will win the coveted Len Goodman mirrorball trophy? Wow. Watch new episodes of Dancing with the Stars live Tuesdays at 8, 7 Central on ABC and Disney. Next day on Hulu.

[Donna]

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[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's especially doing stand up. I was like, I am gonna die for. That's what I thought. I'm gonna die doing this.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

The thing I was just trying to make some money so I could go do stand up. I'm gonna die here.

[Donna]

Did you. Did you end up doing a bit on it?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't think I ever talked about it. I also. I've told this story, like, only a few times, and every time I'm like, oh, that was like, a weird trauma that I've definitely, like, just stored in my brain. Nothing. Like, just traumatic, like, randomly. Yeah, like, nothing that's, like, traumatic that has, like, any sort of PTSD to it, but, like, one of those things that whenever I remember it, I'm like, oh, yeah, that was like. Like, up.

[Donna]

There'S. There's quite a few in those that pop up every once in a while.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Donna]

All right, next one.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I cannot stand country music.

[Donna]

This might be a hot tape.

[Grace O'Malley]

Super hot. Rising popularity of country music in this country.

[Donna]

Between the young kids, it's.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's out of control. It's out of pocket.

[Donna]

It has no space in this world. It does not belong here, nor should it ever be popularized the way it is.

[Grace O'Malley]

Cowboy boots.

[Donna]

Lame. You hear the banjo?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, man. That's your favorite instrument. Lame.

[Donna]

Everything about country music sucks, and I'm.

[Grace O'Malley]

Highly against it, so.

[Donna]

And I'm highly against it.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I'm highly against it, so change it. So anyways, get it out of here.

[Donna]

I know you're from Greenville, so I'll let you take the Ropes on this.

[Grace O'Malley]

I grew up. I. I didn't go down the road of liking country music because everybody really did. Even good country. Yeah, everybody really did. And I kind of went down the road of, like, metal. I got into metal first, and I was like. And also, maybe at the right. You know what I mean? The right age where I was like, oh, I kind of relate to this angst or whatever this is. And so I kind of went down that road and kind of loved that. That was never gonna catch on as, like, a trend in the social circle I was in. Other people liked it.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But it wasn't gonna become some big thing where we're all fucking listening to it. I remember being at a high school party and having slowly gotten some other guys in our crew to be into corn. And I remember being in a high school party and putting on a corn CD and playing it. And, like, for a second, people were kind, like, got the life. People were, like, kind of into it for a split second, and I was like, oh, yeah, it's good, and I'm into it. And then people were like, get the. Turn this shit off. And I was like, yeah, this was the wrong space for the.

[Donna]

It's kind of like when you're. You just want to have a burger with your friends, and then someone plays a corn cd.

[Grace O'Malley]

Not. Not even that. A live band. Corn shows up and they're like.

[Donna]

That was. That was a bold move.

[Grace O'Malley]

It. It was so, like, at a party.

[Donna]

You switch the CDs and like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah. And people did, like, kind of get into it, and I think they're like. You could tell people his looks were like, give him his one song. And then we go back to not this ever again.

[Donna]

We go back to.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then we never let him near the CD ever again.

[Donna]

Would people bring their CD?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So this is. This is late 90s, when that was the only way to do it. It was like. That was when you were in the world of, like, you either had a vinyl, a cassette tape, or a cd.

[Donna]

Which I. I know this, but, like, going to a party. Would you bring your. Your book?

[Grace O'Malley]

I was. I think we had it, like, in the car. And so it's like, we're at this house party. It's not, like, so crazy. Like, they're like, I'm gonna put fucking corn on. And people. This was when, you know, Korn was, like, this band, but then they put out Follow the Leader. And that did catch on. Like, they started playing that a lot on the radio. It was a little bit more mainstream. Exactly. And it did catch on a little bit to where people weren't so upset by it because I think like, oh, I've heard some of this before.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But yeah, they gave me my one, my one shot. But I gotta say, as much as I grew up hating a lot of certain types of country music, there is a lot of great, very old country music, and there is sometimes great new country music. I would, I would concede that what upsets me about it often is when so many country artists are kind of singing and saying the same thing, which definitely means they're playing into a trend to make their song popular. And I got nothing wrong with that. We're all trying to get paid. But in the world of like art, it's. You're it, you're. I'm a less attracted to it because I'm like, well, if we're all saying the same fucking thing, that can't be personable. It just means it's trendy. And if you're only doing it for the trend, you only care about the fucking fame and the money. And that just while is fun, I'm sure is so soulless. You're like, oh, don't you want to actually get a lot of money because you told exactly what you thought or you thought you're a cool fucking thing. Like, like all the art you love is cuz someone's like that. Dude, I make it this way and everyone gets on board with it and I'm like, that just seems so much more satisfying. So I do get it. But I also am like, I don't know. Some people are into it. If that's their jam, that's their jam.

[Donna]

In the first half of what you just said, I was going to say, all right, religion and sex.

[Grace O'Malley]

Calm down. Get out. I got thrown out of Gracious TR today.

[Donna]

No. Talking about how all country singers, they, they talk about about the same stuff.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And then what was your special name again?

[Grace O'Malley]

Religion, sex and a few things in between. Exactly. And if I got up there and I was like, no, no, I love it. If I got up there and I was like, here's what you've definitely already heard about these things. You're like, oh, it's like if someone's like, you know, you have a lot of the same bits as so and so it makes you go, oh, I mean, I love those bits, but I should. Maybe I should rethink some things.

[Donna]

Especially when someone's like, those are, those are their bits.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh yeah.

[Donna]

Like it's not your bed. God forbid. It's yours.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then you're so mad about it. And then also it's the worst if it's a comic you don't even like. And then you're like, wait, I have the same material. Hate.

[Donna]

Who do you hate? Yeah, let's do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Name names.

[Donna]

That's what everyone seems to be doing nowadays. It's just kind of crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

We live in. For the first time in my career. How long have you been doing stand.

[Donna]

Up on and off? Five years.

[Grace O'Malley]

I've been doing it 21 years. And this is. This now feels so different in the world of standup where it's like, choose the side that you're on. Whereas before you were just like, you were either on the side of you're funny or you're not funny. And there wasn't any other social click element to it. And it just felt very, like, freeing. Like, even comics you knew, you maybe didn't like their opinion or whatever, but there wasn't like a crew to back them up or to back you up. And now it's like, like, hey, if you say you don't like so and so's take on a thing, it means you don't like these 40 people. Yeah. You know, it's like a grouping.

[Donna]

Gang.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's gang. Yeah. And it's so weird because there's also this, like, sort of vibe of, you know, it's cool. It's cool. We're stand up. So it's cool. And I've just never once attached to us being cool people. It's what I love about what we do, where it's like, yeah, but we're not cool.

[Donna]

Like, rappers do this.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Donna]

Like, that's what they do. We, we don't. We're not this.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're. It's spoken word. We're literally like, I gotta be hard. Oh, yeah. What are you talking about? Grocery stores are hard. Grocery stores are hard to navigate.

[Donna]

Unless you're smoking. Am I right? Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Go to the grocery store. Like, okay. Like, okay. Do you feel like you're more of a silly clown? Yeah.

[Donna]

A jester, if you will. But I'm hard.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, if I got off stage with someone's like, I thought you looked cool in your clothes. I thought you presented super cool. I would be like, oh, that's great. Because I didn't feel that at any moment.

[Donna]

Dude, I had a girl come up to me last weekend and say, oh, my God, dude, you were so pretty up there. And I was like, I don't want to hear that.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you because you don't see yourself that way.

[Donna]

I'm like, I'm not like, what about the jokes?

[Grace O'Malley]

I know, like, if someone comes up to you and they're like, you are so fucking funny. You're so nice and receptive to the compliment with the back of your head, you're like, yeah, a professional comedian, mother. I'm good at this. But if somebody comes up and they're like, I liked your jacket. Literally my brain is like, oh my God, jacket. Oh my God. Something other than my sense of humor. Cuz I just, I literally like to your point, you're up there just going, the jokes.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is either good or bad. Yeah, it's funny to like say the jokes and go, I wonder what team this puts me on. Because my take of this is that.

[Donna]

Yeah, I think, I think the best way to do it is just be somewhere in the middle. Keep it completely ambiguous. For me personally, because I'm new.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. With the material, it's like, just whatever you think is fucking funny. If someone goes, I shouldn't joke about that. I think for your own personal take, you know what? You should. Our lines are different everywhere, but I've seen people cross my line and I'm laughing at their joke and I'm like, I don't agree and I think it's offensive, but I don't decide what triggers a comedic thing in my brain. It doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It's like, no, even I think they orchestrated that whole, that setup. I was like, wait, what is this? The punch? I was like, that's fucking hilarious. Disagree. But that is absolutely hilarious.

[Donna]

I would never say that, but I'm so glad you did.

[Grace O'Malley]

And also people are like, well, if you laugh at that, that means you align with that. It's like, like, no, it doesn't. It doesn't mean I show up to that cause or not show up to that cause it just means I thought that one thing was funny. And now it's like, well, what side are you on? Like, I think there's enough now. I think this is what the space that we're in now when I say it used to be just you're funny or not funny. That was because we also never presented outside of the stage. But now with like podcasts and social media, there's everybody connection with the audience. Like, everything I'm saying to you is now not my act. It's like, oh, this is me chatting with you.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then if somebody goes, well, I didn't like your Opinion on country music. I would. I wouldn't be able to sit there and go, well, that was a joke. I'd sit there and go, well, no, that's my real feeling. So it's different.

[Donna]

Yeah. No, that is true. And I think that's also why, like, musicians and actors. Well, you're an actor as well, but, like, people who don't do just everyone but comics don't have podcasts.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Because they like to keep, like, church and state.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Donna]

Like, their personal lives are like everything you see, they. They post. It's not them.

[Grace O'Malley]

What are your thoughts on that? Are you. Are you a little jealous of that? I am a little bit. I'm like, I kind of also wish it could just live over here. I've had before. We have to have our shows, we have to guest on shows, we have to have our own shows. We've got to have social media presence. We got. Because otherwise no one knows we do any of the things that we do.

[Donna]

Exactly.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

You're just like, oh, wow, they haven't done anything.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. In a while. I mean, right now, this tour for me, I get my ticket count now, and I'm like, oh, for the first time, I feel so good about the tickets going into these shows. Oh, fuck it. That's awesome. And I think it's literally because I now have a friend who's running my social media in a different way that's really getting me out there. And I. If without them, I. And the other, you know, two or three that have helped me do it, I don't know how to do that. All I know how to do is I can go on stage and I think the show is good, but I don't know how to tell anyone the show's even happening.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so now we live in that space where if you don't have a podcast or guest on podcasts or have someone run your social media, people don't even know you do this. Because that's what all of this does. It hyper focuses the product to go, oh, do you like. Do you like Grace? Do you like this type of comedy? Do you like this setting? Do you like this sort of conversation? Well, then you'll love this. And then they love it. And they go, oh, I'm gonna go see her stand up.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you were starting out, was there anyone there to help guide you by chance?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know if there's so much that I think it was, like, there was a. Plenty of great comedy to be inspired by. Like, when I Started in dc, there would be one guy who was, like, only slightly older and a little more experienced, but just Eric Myers, he. He passed away. God, I don't even know how many years ago that was. I want to say, like, five, but I think it was more than that. But he was incredible. I mean, he would go up at the end of some mics and just destroy. And so you always had this inspiration of, like, oh, man, I want to. I don't want to do what he's doing, but I want to get what he's getting.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And figure out how to do it. And also, Tony woods would pop in and do spots here and there, and was so, so much slower, so different from Eric. So much slower. So, like, calculated and, like, laid back. And it's such an interesting presentation that even that was inspiring. So in terms of, like, guidance, no one was like, here's how you do it. But you got to see that there's no one way to do it. And you could tell that the closer you got to you being up there doing it and it wasn't put on, was gonna make it the easiest and the most fun. You just kind of sense that. But that, yeah, the crew that I was with, it was like, everybody was really good. So you really. You stepped up to, like, want to also keep up and be good. And everybody you went after. There was no, like, you know, if there's any given night of the week, a show in dc, very rarely were you following someone that you were like, oh, they kind of fucking shit the bed. They weren't good. I'll go up and now I'll try to, like, be the one that's good. Yeah, you kind of were, like, on your toes being like, fuck that person. Just crush. Yeah, I have to, like, go. I have to step it up. And it makes you better. It makes you, like, show up.

[Donna]

And DC's crazy because.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Donna]

You could have, like, a real life politician in the audience. Like, you could have, like. It's just so many different walks of life.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Politician was my only example I could come up with.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, there's so many people that are trying to be lawyers and. Are lawyers.

[Donna]

Yeah, they're very stiff. There's like. They can be stiff.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's that. But they're also like you. I personally. Not that everyone agrees, even people who live in DC and started in dc, but I always felt intimidated by what I perceived was really smart audiences. And so I was like, oh, I need to have heady, smart stuff, because I want them to think, oh, this is good. And in a great way, whether my perception of that was correct or not, it at least propelled me to want to try to communicate jokes that way and have stuff. It felt smart to me. I think so. Yeah. Yeah.

[Donna]

Because you are very, very witty and smart, like.

[Grace O'Malley]

And that's what I wanted to get to.

[Donna]

Yep, there it is. There it is.

[Grace O'Malley]

Compliment of the day.

[Donna]

You know what? It was just. It was just kind of, like, taken right out of me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, you saw it's written on my hand. I'm like, say this. Say, yeah, say this on the next voice.

[Donna]

I got. I got the. The note. There was a note passed to me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. My crew was like. And by the way, halfway through, kind of make sure you tell him you think he's smart with his comedy. That's. That'll propel him.

[Donna]

He needs that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. He's really sad if you don't do it. So do it.

[Donna]

So what was the last voice now?

[Grace O'Malley]

That was country music.

[Donna]

Oh, country music.

[Grace O'Malley]

Country music. What a spiral. Good.

[Donna]

That was a good spiral, though. This is like. This is good. This gets the conversation.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love it. I love it.

[Donna]

I did have one thing on country music.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's go back.

[Donna]

Just real quick, one take. I personally don't like this stuff, but I do, like, early 2000s, but that's in and around when my parents met, like, late 90s, early 2000s. And I have a funny story. So when my parents started dating, the first date, my dad took my mom out to. But he picked her up, and all of his radio stations were set to country music.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

And my mom was like. My mom was in on, like, Run dmc, that kind of vibe.

[Grace O'Malley]

Where are we? Where is this?

[Donna]

Southie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

South Boston.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, lobster rolls and such.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clam chowder.

[Grace O'Malley]

The Red Sox. I'm a local.

[Donna]

Go packs.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm a local.

[Donna]

She pick him up and she. She goes to switch the radio station. She's like, it's all country. That's so funny. Did you do that as a joke?

[Grace O'Malley]

And he was like, he's crying.

[Donna]

He's like, yeah. It's like, that's my thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love. Always loved you.

[Donna]

And in the same. Same date, my mom accidentally drank my dad's spit cup.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Where did your dad grow up?

[Donna]

He's always wanted to be a cowboy, baby.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, so that's what it is. He saw something as a kid, and he was like, that's my. That's what I'm gonna be.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And then I had a show In Austin one time, and he came down and he got a cowboy hat, a polo tie. My mom took one picture of him and it's like. It's the happiest he's ever been in his. It was like he fulfilled a dream.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's. It's so interesting that they ever met. It's interesting that he didn't, like, fucking bolt to Texas the moment he could, like, have no freedom. That's actually kind of interesting.

[Donna]

It is crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

And also good for him because I'm sure in Boston people are like, look at this dude. What the fuck is he doing?

[Donna]

Yeah, no, he's. He wants to be a cowboy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Line dancing. This is not a line dance song.

[Donna]

He's so line dancing.

[Grace O'Malley]

Gay. It needs a line in my dad's perspective, a line to do it. You can't solo that. He's just doing it.

[Donna]

So that's my thing on country music. I feel that cocktails, I have never.

[Grace O'Malley]

You shut your mouth.

[Donna]

The thought of mixing multiple drinks from different bottles to create another drink.

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Donna]

That generally, by and large, either. Tastes like the driest.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, it doesn't. And you can't even describe it.

[Donna]

Well, do you know what you fucking.

[Grace O'Malley]

The driest dry thing you've ever had. How dare you?

[Donna]

You put beans on your breakfast. Want to drink a cocktail?

[Grace O'Malley]

Fun.

[Donna]

A really nice glass of Guinness.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stout. Now you're just.

[Donna]

Or really, that's not even your thing. Craft.

[Grace O'Malley]

This isn't a real accent. This is not a real accent. Stout.

[Donna]

Cocktails.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stout.

[Donna]

And they're like 17 quid each in London. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

The price. The price we can talk about.

[Donna]

Now it sounds like you're really making it up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Quid. Also quid.

[Donna]

What is Harry Potter?

[Grace O'Malley]

Why not just go. Hey, I don't like that. Cocktails are expensive. It's like. Yeah, she's like. But she doesn't understand a cocktail. I've never been more insulted. I know. I mean, here's what it is. This person does not know their cocktail yet. No, they don't know it because I'm 95 years old. Also. I'm 95. What is with these?

[Donna]

I've tried them all.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I only drink Guinness. Yeah. I pour cereal. I put Guinness on the cereal. An old Fashioned. Shut the fuck up. A paper plane. A Negroni. A mezcal. Negroni. These drinks are here for the taking. Like, they're fucking great.

[Donna]

You're a savory guy. Savory. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

I'm a fruity gal.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. What's your jam?

[Donna]

I'll go. Any kind of fruit. I never know what to order. I'm still trying to find my drink.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're trying to find my beer girl. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

But I'm not gonna shit on cocktails and leave a 10 minute voicemail on it. But. Which I did ask for and I'm sorry, but I've just never heard anyone be so anti cocktail.

[Grace O'Malley]

And that was a dissertation. That was.

[Donna]

And she's British. And with all due respect, those. What they did to my people is just beyond. And we're not over it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I have not forgotten.

[Donna]

We're not over it. Both of my people, my Irish people and in Boston.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, exactly. There's no relief. There's no relief.

[Donna]

Did we tarn feather them?

[Grace O'Malley]

You might.

[Donna]

We did. Well, yes, we should.

[Grace O'Malley]

But that was payback.

[Donna]

Yeah. Fuck your tea.

[Grace O'Malley]

So you don't know your cocktail yet?

[Donna]

I don't really know. Because I'll panic.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll be like, I used to panic a lot.

[Donna]

Kilo pineapple.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also a great drink.

[Donna]

Yeah. But it's like heartburn in a glass.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's one you have to know that you gotta know going in. This will be 3am Pain.

[Donna]

It's not even like through my mouth up the straw yet.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I'm like, yeah, and you can fit in your tums. Your stomach is like, let's start fighting this now.

[Donna]

It's like a big fight in between the tubes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And also like any sort of like. Like I've done like, like tequila and grapefruit juice. And that's already so acidic on its own. You're like, none of this is going to work. But it's so good. Like, like margaritas or you like margaritas?

[Donna]

Like I don't really know what my. My go to. Oh, I spent all winter learning to like dirty martinis.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh yeah. Okay.

[Donna]

Graduated.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

I'm a full. Fully an alcoholic.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a great cocktail. It's not for me. I'm not like in the olive juice. No.

[Donna]

I just spend all winter.

[Grace O'Malley]

I wish I don't like all. I was. I. Maybe that's the thing. You just got to like, like I was like. I really want to develop the taste cuz I do too. I really want to like it.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I really.

[Donna]

I switched to gin.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, okay. So you might like a Negroni. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

But that's aperol.

[Grace O'Malley]

Aperol.

[Donna]

I don't like apparel.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, okay. Have you ever had a paper plane? These are all the rage now.

[Donna]

What is this?

[Grace O'Malley]

So I'm actually glad you asked. It's whiskey or Bourbon, I think. Whiskey, amaro, and.

[Donna]

Yeah, see, all of that sounds awful to me.

[Grace O'Malley]

You don't like any of those?

[Donna]

Yeah, Whiskey. I don't even know what the middle thing was. You made it up.

[Grace O'Malley]

I made. I actually made up one of them. Oh, and lemon is that. That gets you back for some reason?

[Donna]

It did, actually.

[Grace O'Malley]

And it's a nice color. They put it in, like, a. What do they call the croup or coupe glass. This group is, like, actually, like, whooping cough. I think that is the. That croup.

[Donna]

I don't know. I just said the disease.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's right. We're both saying diseases. They could be the same.

[Donna]

That looks. That looks yummy, right? I do like that. I always like any drink with edel flour.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

Is that how you say it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Elder flower. Elder flower. Elder people flower. Yeah, I love my elders. Yeah, this is. I get flowers. All right. Where my 95s at?

[Donna]

Yeah. My audience has gotten real huge. Going to love this. Elders. I'll give you flowers.

[Grace O'Malley]

You should try a paper plane. Just one, like, someone else's. And then you just be like, let me try a sip of that. Because you might be like, oh, all the three flavors in the lemon together diffuse maybe the flavor you wouldn't like about it. But, like, an old Fashioned for me. Shut the up.

[Donna]

That's so classy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Whenever I'm an old Fashioned, I have to sit like this, and I have to just feel like I know a lot about anything. I know what croup is if I have an old Fashioned in my hand.

[Donna]

I grew up like. Like, I don't. We didn't grow up, like, doing all that snazzy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, same.

[Donna]

I'm pretty white trash.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so that's like, not white trash, but white. We're still white.

[Donna]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm white, and I can. I bought a trash a lot of times, so I'll say I'm white trash.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're white. Recycling. Yeah.

[Donna]

Yeah. White. Yeah. Yeah, I'm white compost, basically. And so I took my mom to a fancy, fancy hotel, and as soon as we said to. At the bar, I was like, old Fashioned, please. I've never had one in my whole life. I was just like, yeah, no, that makes sense. Here she goes.

[Grace O'Malley]

What the did you just do?

[Donna]

Because I usually drink, like, bud Light.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know what I just got.

[Donna]

She's like, do you like it? I'm like, it's good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's good.

[Donna]

Hair on the chest. It's good.

[Grace O'Malley]

I feel like a real man. Very bourbon. Very whiskey. You're getting a lot.

[Donna]

And we're like in somewhere tropical. She's like, why would you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I gotta say that I make that mistake a lot where people are like, this is not the time of day. And I'm like, yeah, but it's what I like.

[Donna]

I'm thirsty and I love this.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Was it the one big ice cube?

[Donna]

Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I care so much about that.

[Donna]

I really like those guys.

[Grace O'Malley]

When someone brings out the Old Fashioned with a lot of ice in it, I'm like, what the fuck is this?

[Donna]

Oh, what they do.

[Grace O'Malley]

Give me one giant ice cube. Is a giant ice cube and rip me off by giving me less liquid.

[Donna]

No. Nothing's more of a rip off than those skinny little bitches.

[Grace O'Malley]

Never with the long ice. You ever pull that out? Yeah. Yes.

[Donna]

One turkey base.

[Grace O'Malley]

1. I wish I had the long ice at home. When you're not ripping yourself, I feel like it's actually great ice.

[Donna]

I do like that ice.

[Grace O'Malley]

But at a bar, you're like, sorry, I just want to. Can you pull that out so I can see how much like it literally would be this.

[Donna]

When you try to pull it out, you end up breaking the glass.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, this would be 20 quid.

[Donna]

Oh, that's more than I would think.

[Grace O'Malley]

That actually might be more than 20 quid. Whatever that conversion even is. Yeah. When. Whenever I get in, it's like all the broken up. I advice, I'm immediately like, this is not. This is not how you do.

[Donna]

It's actually compost trash.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yeah. They're fun to make also. They're easy. I think maybe that's also at home. I'm like, I'm gonna make an Old Fashioned. Because it's not. It's like three things. I'm like, oh, these are. It's easy to remember.

[Donna]

When did you start drinking Old Fashioned?

[Grace O'Malley]

Not that long ago, maybe.

[Donna]

Yeah, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I made them in my 40s. I think when you're the ripe age for men, I think there's something maybe in the four. I would say any. If you. If you're 35 and you're on Old Fashioned, that's probably in the zone where that starts.

[Donna]

You're probably staying in on Fridays. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

For sure.

[Donna]

The world has gotten to be too much. But I do think around 40 realm is like, you get an old Fashioned kit for your 40th and you're like, I'll give it a whirl.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then you kind of get addicted to it. And you're like, oh, this is Pretty unhealthy. I can't be doing this every night.

[Donna]

My alcohol.

[Grace O'Malley]

My liver hurts. I feel it.

[Donna]

Come here, son. Let me show you how to be a man.

[Grace O'Malley]

Here's how you make.

[Donna]

Give her a little sip.

[Grace O'Malley]

Here's how you mix simple syrup with. With whiskey, a brown liquid. Oh, okay.

[Donna]

Someone called your father a simpleton once. Never again.

[Grace O'Malley]

Never. Look here, I. I take. I take a tiny shaving of the orange, and I put that on the rim. The moment you start doing that, you're like, who the.

[Donna]

Am I wow? Am I, wow, an elitist?

[Grace O'Malley]

Maybe that's why. I think that's maybe why you have to be in your 40s, because if you did that in your 20s, you're like, what am I?

[Donna]

That's American Psycho. Well, thank you guys so much for calling in. Sorry we shit on you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I apologize. Come see our shows. Come to our live productions.

[Donna]

We do have a little segment here real quick, so I do a segment called Jokes in my notes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

It's just anything you want to share from your. Your notes that you might be working on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh.

[Donna]

If you're interested in sharing. If not, we can.

[Grace O'Malley]

I might be. I can never remember stuff in my.

[Donna]

Do you write in your phone?

[Grace O'Malley]

Sometimes.

[Donna]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

In the little notes?

[Donna]

Yeah. I just found this one. This is me and my mom. So yesterday I recorded an episode, and so I gave kind of some of my concepts I'm working on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

So I don't really have concepts, but just random stuff in my notes I'm gonna share.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

This is me and my mom riffing, and I thought this was funny, and it was very funny with me and her, but I don't know how it's gonna sound out loud.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sure.

[Donna]

This is different ways to order a Bloody Mary spiked tomato, the streganona way. But you gotta do an Italian accent. I'm sorry.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that.

[Donna]

Spiked tomato with the strega Nona way. Or gazpacho with a splash of Grey Goose.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

Tito's in sundae sauce with gravy.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's weird that these are all accurate, though. That is. You're like, oh, that is what it is.

[Donna]

A wedge of eggplant parm on the side. An adult tomato soup with a straw. Please. Let me get a glass of the sundae sauce with a splash of Belvedere and smash up a Capri Z in the vodka way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Gazpacho and sundae sauce are my favorite.

[Donna]

Me and my mom are cracking up trying to come up with those.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just came across a Couple in here. Thriller is such a good album. I don't care that Michael Jackson fucked those kids.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we can all get behind that 100%.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, literally, guys. That's how good the album is, which is really a feat.

[Donna]

I actually, I was just talking about that the other day, boarding a plane, and me and my friend. My friend Liam, who features with me on tour, we were riffing about Michael Jackson and some girl behind us go. Goes. I just gotta say, very funny conversation. And I was like, that's better than anything.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're like, well, professionally, this is what we do. Good, good feedback. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how we promote. This is gorilla promoting. I've never wanted your housemade ketchup. No, right. We have housemaid ketchup. Like, why. Why would you do that? Why would you go that extra step?

[Donna]

Why is it. Why is it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Get me fucking Heinz and shut up about it?

[Donna]

Oh, gross.

[Grace O'Malley]

Not even hunts. When a place has hunts, you're like, oh, did you fucking skimp on the quality of the meat as well? Where else are you trying to cut corners? I feel like at this age, I should have built something by now. The only sort of punchline of that is I have a buddy who built bunk beds for his kids. And my punchline is, I don't even know how to draw that. But I have some of these I have tried before. They just never, like. They never, like, stuck or they're never like. You couldn't figure out where they went. They just felt so random that if you said, I'm going to show people, like, I thought we're talking about something else. What the fuck was that?

[Donna]

Just hear this one real.

[Grace O'Malley]

You don't ever do them in spots where you're like, and here's eight random tracks.

[Donna]

I write things down. I'm like, yeah, it wouldn't even be a good tweet.

[Grace O'Malley]

When it's not gonna be a good tweet. You're like, okay, never mind. That's the one positive of Twitter. It really makes us re establish where we think we're at in terms of our joke writing. And this one isn't and really a joke. But I just remember as a kid in movies and TV shows, there was always such a. Like. Like, I grew up thinking as an adult, you'd really have to contend with people who wanted anchovies on pizza. There was always a like, oh, and no anchovies. And I was like, oh, I guess that's like. You got to really voice that a lot.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And the older you get, you're like, that's never. I've never even comes up ever. It never comes up. But every, like, I remember, even in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they would like and no anchovies. And like, one of them will be like, I love anchovies. I was like, oh, man, I got to really figure out where I stand with anchovies.

[Donna]

Our current comedic accolades is it's like, where do you stand?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you're right. Pro anchovy.

[Donna]

I don't know the definition of accolades. Thank you so much. I'm trying to be.

[Grace O'Malley]

I actually really like that.

[Donna]

Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

When you said it, I was like, I don't know that word.

[Donna]

I don't know that word at all. Is she doing.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dancing with the Stars is back. Tuesdays, the celebrity dance competition and social media phenomenon returns with an electrifying new cast, including wildlife conservationist Robert Irwin, social media personality Alex Earle, stars of the Secret Lives of Mormon wives Jen Affleck and Whitney Levitt and more. Join hosts Alfonso Ribeiro and Julianne Hough for a season premiere guaranteed to pump up the jam. Who will win the coveted Len Goodman Mirrorball trophy? Watch new episodes of Dancing with the Stars live Tuesdays at 8, 7 Central on ABC and Disney. Next day on Hulu.

[Donna]

New Balance. You see them everywhere, and if you don't already own a pair, you're probably wondered, do I need some? The answer is yes. And start with The New Balance 1080, the ultimate running shoe that combines comfort, performance and style. They're versatile whether you're race training or running errands. I particularly I'm running errands. I'm not really training for any races anytime soon, but they're extremely breathable and can keep your feet cold. And they are truly so comfortable. I mean that. I'm not just reading that. I truly believe that they are the most comfortable shoe around town. They're cushioned, supportive, lightweight, and secure. What more could you really ask for? I'll say shop the [e-mail] I have this that I. This is just a. Again, this isn't a premise. This is just things I found in my notes. All capital letters. Any possible chance you could do some kind of welcome surprise in the room, please. It's my buddy's birthday and she's had a tough year. Thank you so much. This is me lying to a hotel hoping to get something free.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's actually good.

[Donna]

It's. It was neither her birthday or how.

[Grace O'Malley]

She had a tough because people want to help. People want to Help. And they love champagne and cookies. I learned to move from some people trying to get a table at a restaurant. I. It was actually we were in New York and at the last second they're like, oh, I got a table this thing. And I was like, oh, my God, I love that restaurant. It's always so hard to get. How did you like, just finagle that, that. And they were like, the move is you call and you say that you're someone's assistant and you go up bad. And they're like, we got you. They immediately are like, so good. We're gonna help you out, dude. And you're like, thank you. I was like, oh, I'm gonna start doing that all the time.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Then you get there and they're like, where's the famous person? You're like, I don't. They couldn't come to it.

[Donna]

Come on.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're not here. But one thing I really love acting out now is just saying. So any. Just gonna turn the screen here and it's just gonna ask you a few more questions. And it's like, you mean tip?

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's no fucking questions.

[Donna]

You just have to fill out this survey real quick.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, and then I'm just gonna ask you a few more questions. Quit telling me it's gonna ask me a few more fucking questions. It wants a tip, I'm gonna tip. Yeah, but the fact that you phrase it like that makes me so angry.

[Donna]

There's a few more little, little tidbits about you. Where do you draw the line? Tipping?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's. It's out of control.

[Donna]

I won't tip it. A self serve kiosk, that's where I stand.

[Grace O'Malley]

00. It's too much. I also, I don't want to tip at a place where it's like just retail. And I bought a thing and they're like, in the tip, it's like, are you making nothing? Like, what is your boss doing that? I, I also, I want. When you go to a restaurant and they go, hey, bye. And by the way, we add like 10% so that our staff can have medical care. And you go, isn't that your fucking job to provide your staff with medical care? They're like, no, no, no. We put that on you, the consumer, plus a tip for what you want them to just sort of have casually. And you're like, or why don't you. You are profiting. You should fucking pay them. I tip a bartender no matter what. I tip a barista no matter what. It's usually just always A dollar a drink. It's just kind of always been that. And I do that. And I think that's, that's great. I will tip a barista a dollar for turning around, filling up a mug of drip and handing right back to me. 10 second ordeal. I'm like, that's a dollar. Because if I'm gonna tip a bartender for snapping the lid of a can and handing it to me, it's the same amount of thing. But when someone's like, yeah, anyways, I bagged up your, your clothes that I just charged you for. And also I make a regular wage here. Would you like to tip? You're like, no, not so much. Like, I don't go on stage and go, if you guys want to tip, tip me. That'd be great. Everyone's like, well, I already bought the ticket to be here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but tip a little bit more.

[Donna]

Give me a little extra.

[Grace O'Malley]

Here's my Venmo. The QR code is my Venmo. If you guys like the show. Yeah.

[Donna]

I run around sweating, hoping people will like me. So I, I just bought a sweatshirt the other day at a restaurant. Merch.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And I tipped on that even though.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you felt bizarre.

[Donna]

Here's your sweatshirt. And I was like, yeah, 30.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You felt bizarre doing it. You're like, why did I do that?

[Donna]

And here's my, here's my thing. When they add gratuity already. That's cool. I get that because, like, tell you suck.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Donna]

And they will tell you. I just feel like an. Just going cross it out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

And that's. And I do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I cross it up. I go, we went.

[Donna]

I give extra tip.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm like, I. This is the tip. Okay, great. Yeah, I just, I'm into it.

[Donna]

I just, I'm like, I, I need to break that boundary because any, it adds up. Yeah. I, I could be doing, doing decently well, maybe. Who knows? But it's all going to you guys.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's going right back, right back into the community. It's actually very cool that you do that. I'm going right back into the community. That's how you're able to like, get, have any sort of contentious argument with any callers. You're like, look, I get a lot of my money to tips. I tip a lot. I'm allowed to talk to you like this.

[Donna]

I'm like, yeah, I just put my foot in my mouth there. That's ridiculous.

[Grace O'Malley]

But it's, it's true. Like, it's, it's sort of insane. And so that thing about when they're like, already add the gratuity when they bring it and no one brings it up and says it, but you had to, like, look to notice it. I always look at. I'm like, I was like, sneaky. I spent a lot of money. And then the tip is a high percentage. It's a lot. And to be like, maybe you'll tip even more, it's like you really enjoyed your service. Yeah. Anybody that's making their. Where their thing is basically based on T tips, it's like, yes, there should be a percentage on the tips. That's how that person gets by. But when someone's like, Yeah, I make 15 an hour. But also, would you like to tip? I'm like, no. No, I don't. If it's a service, that is a tippable service, then yes. But just checking someone out at the register is not a tippable service.

[Donna]

I think it's insane that you can tip a robot.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, exactly. I can't believe no callers brought this up. This is. This is ripe.

[Donna]

This is. Yeah, this is. This is America.

[Grace O'Malley]

I can't believe they made us do it. We had to come up with this.

[Donna]

As if this is my job exactly. To. To. To lead the conversation on my show.

[Grace O'Malley]

With my opinions from my experiences, my.

[Donna]

Cue cards that I never looked at.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that you got these cute cards.

[Donna]

I have so many great questions to ask you and didn't look at it once.

[Grace O'Malley]

Good. That means we had a good conversation.

[Donna]

Yeah. No, that's good. That's why I'm trying to switch it up. I tried to be. When I first started this podcast, I wanted to be like. Kind of like Carson.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sure. Almost.

[Donna]

I mean, I think that's everyone's kind of feel it.

[Grace O'Malley]

You got the set up here.

[Donna]

Yeah. You get the comfy couch. I wear the pants.

[Grace O'Malley]

Fun.

[Donna]

But you should have saw me trying to read these cards. I'm like, and do you know where you live? And do you know where you live?

[Grace O'Malley]

Those are the questions, too. Yeah, you're reading it like that. But then also, that's the question.

[Donna]

I just can't even read it. It's like, upside down.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm like, what's your favorite somewhere?

[Donna]

I do have another segment. Oh, this is my favorite one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

Everybody has a digital footprint nowadays, and, you know, you've been at this for a little bit. Ski. So now I'd like to do a segment called Disgraceful Receipts. Okay. Where I pull up a couple things I found of you online.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nice.

[Donna]

And you Explain. You explain these.

[Grace O'Malley]

You got it.

[Donna]

All righty. It's not a gotcha. It's not a gotcha.

[Grace O'Malley]

I want to be got.

[Donna]

I'm also surprised because. Because this is. My sister does this part.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Is that funny? Can I ask, truthfully, are those jokes funny? That being the tattoo and that, like, acting like I'm reading a script that Spielberg would have sent me?

[Donna]

Yeah, 1,000%.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I did that for a photo shoot and no one there, like, my friend Diana took these photos and I was trying to read if she thought was funny, but she's so into, like the photo, she's like trying to get it right that I'm like, is this kind of bombing right now? Like, I took the time to write a fake tattoo. Is this not working?

[Donna]

And you can't do it in the mirror. Yeah, because then it comes out backwards.

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly. Like, this was a lot of effort. Yeah. That was a photo shoot for. You know when you're just trying to like, have a headshot that's maybe comical in some way. I think I'm holding it. I think it's this, but you don't see it.

[Donna]

Oh, I totally see it. I clocked that the first I saw that before the tattoo I'm in. I just. I don't know. For a casting agent, I don't know if this is giving the wrong idea.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, then that's.

[Donna]

I think it's funny, but it might give the wrong idea.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think that's why I'm moving at the pace that I'm moving at that.

[Donna]

No. Well, I think you got a. You crush it.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a great special title. The wrong idea.

[Donna]

This is my favorite.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is good.

[Donna]

This is the right idea.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is. There used to be a club here, comedy club here called Comics with an X at the end. And Sean and I were co headlining a one night thing there. And so we. We took this photo in their kitchen there. And we like the moment we thought of the idea, like on the spot, everybody was like, that's great. That's one of my favorite photos because. So bizarre. Also trying to do a. Trying to do a line off your own chest is so. It's like even to be able to do that, but Sean's face is so delighted about it. We also made a funny promo commercial for it too. Like two guys on the street, like kind of doing that at each other, but yet when I do it, real bullets are killing people. And he. Everyone's like, stunned. And then I'm like, oh, God, I just shot all these people. And Sean's like, like, what the did you do? That was probably the best, like, home run promos we did for that show. But that now this guy K was here. Like, he took that photo. Yeah.

[Donna]

As.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

Live forever and not if you're doing this H. And that's.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it'll kill you. Hey, don't do drugs.

[Donna]

Yeah, I. No, I push drugs every episode.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, do drugs. I mean, do. This is so. My wife made me stop doing these. This is when we had our daughter. And there was a face swap app called. I think it was like Masquerade. I think it was msqrd. And I did it and it just. I couldn't not laugh.

[Donna]

Hilarious.

[Grace O'Malley]

Every time I watch the video, I have them on my phone. I died laughing because this. How creepy is this? And also how Amish, young Amish does that look? And it just.

[Donna]

It's like Amish. Amish. Like fetal alcohol.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yes. And I like, you know, I was posting them on Instagram and friends of mine were like, dude, this is so, like, funny and disturbing to, like, watch. And I was like, dude, I can't stop. My wife was like, stop posting our child on social media. I was like, yeah, you're probably right. And then I stopped doing it.

[Donna]

But I just went down a rabbit hole yesterday and I found this picture. When you use those face app.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

I had my little sister. I was 14 years old. Old. And my little sister was an infant. And so I'd use the app picture to put makeup on her. I was like, that's so funny. That's kind of like.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's strangely creepy and also comforting at the same time.

[Donna]

Like a drag doll.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like, this baby will take care of you in some way. Oh, they see me.

[Donna]

It's like. Like she could read my future. It's kind of funny.

[Grace O'Malley]

She knows the good and bad coming.

[Donna]

And like, your daughter can see the future too. Like, wise beyond.

[Grace O'Malley]

And what's so funny is that those eyes are just looking at the screen also, like, like. But like, no concept of what the is happening.

[Donna]

Oh, yeah. I guess I'm a beard. I guess I'm papa now. This one says the adjustment.

[Grace O'Malley]

This was in November of 2018, and I think I was touring with the Beacon Theater and we went to the Whitney and he took a picture of me in front of that and then he added those arms. He added those arms, which is so amazing. But yeah, my. If you don't know Brian Bress, check out his art. He does, like, video art, and it's really fucking cool and interesting and weird, but I think he had a piece at the Whitney and that's why we were like, there. Look at their shit. But also see his, like, thing there?

[Donna]

That also looks like my sister would face it. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's also the face app, but for art.

[Donna]

For anyone who was curious, this is what it can look like when you buy legalized medical marijuana.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Donna]

2012, you were beyond your years.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's in San Francisco. And that blew my mind. How. How Apple it looked. It was just like, Apple store marijuana. Now no one would even care at all. Which is correct.

[Donna]

Packaging is like, yeah, it's interesting.

[Grace O'Malley]

In 2012, I was like, oh, I'm like, walking in. It was very, like, Amsterdam. Like, oh, I've walked in and I've officially bought.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

A packaged product. The law is okay with.

[Donna]

This is like, isn't that the same year, so that medical marijuana 2012, isn't that the same year, like, gay marriage was legalized? I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I think so.

[Donna]

And.

[Grace O'Malley]

And like now when they're like, Obama's like, lit up the white believe that.

[Donna]

These things were illegal.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The further into it you get, it sounds insane. I mean, now it's like on the mushrooms and MDMA and other psychedelics that they're legalizing. So it's like, you get down that road far enough and you're like. Then you'll look back and go, I can't believe anything was fucking. It's literally like thinking about prohibition. You're like, oh, you couldn't even just fucking drink a beer. What are we talking about? Exactly.

[Donna]

I do think it's very funny that you were so excited that you decided to make a collage.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you told me to use that same app and make a collage, I would go, I don't do that anymore. Those days are over.

[Donna]

I love this. This is probably your best picture. You look great.

[Grace O'Malley]

It feels artsy.

[Donna]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I.

[Donna]

Is this when you were working for the Department of War?

[Grace O'Malley]

That was the Department of War, Yeah. I think I went through a little phase. What year Was this photo?

[Donna]

2013.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. So I went through a little phase around that time where I was like, oh, I'm going to try going up in a suit, because my actual act makes no sense with that. And I just want to do it. And I gotta say, the moment you go on stage, even with just a blazer, but, like, definitely with a tie, you can feel the audience Going, oh, let's pay attention. You can feel them respecting that you have something to say. Just because you're dressed so formally with a microphone in your hand, they're like, oh, well, it's not some kid telling me something, because ordinarily I'd wear a T shirt and a hoodie and jeans. Jeans.

[Donna]

I just. I was just trying to think of what the. The female equivalent of that is. It's a ball gown.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. If you end up in a ball gown, people like, I couldn't imagine wearing.

[Donna]

A ball gown on stage.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, listen, she's lived a life.

[Donna]

I think someone's gonna win the award.

[Grace O'Malley]

This woman has lived a life with stories to tell, like a feathered boa. I also, in West Palm beach, improv of. Isn't that bizarre how we can kind of connect to that. That might be right.

[Donna]

It's, like, really hot for her.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

That's Florida, correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe you remember that. I don't think I can remember that.

[Grace O'Malley]

That could be wrong, but I. I think that might be right.

[Donna]

Well, it's New Year's Eve, 2021, and my daughter is crying because I just straight up told her that she will never fly like a fairy. And now I'm too deep into the argument to backpedal. That's one way to start some classic, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's some parenting right there. You learn. You live and you learn.

[Donna]

Why did you. Why did you tell her she can never fly? Why would you crush your daughter's dreams like that?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know. It's kind of feel like my kid was like, one day I'll fly like a fairy. And my brain was like, tell your kid the truth at all times. And then I did. And I think my wife was like, what are you doing?

[Donna]

Comic dad? I've always wondered. Yeah, it's not as fun as you would think. They're very honest.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're very honest, and it's always a downer.

[Donna]

Does she already know that Santa's not real, too?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. Know. And she watches this thing. She doesn't know, but, man, we're on the cusp of it.

[Donna]

Oh, how old?

[Grace O'Malley]

10. So it's like, oh, come on. Right there. We're waiting for her, the question to come along. We're, like, waiting. I'm like, I don't want to. I don't want to shatter a thing. I mean, obviously, if we get to 13, it's like, can we chat?

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But I'm pretty certain after this year, things Will go, oh, that's weird that this product was this. Wait, does. Why does Santa bring products that you buy? Like, you know, you start to go, these aren't made by elves, but.

[Donna]

And then the wrapping paper being the same.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. My wife does a great job of like making it seem different. Like really plays into it. Which maybe if we had more kids, my wife would have given up on that a long time ago. When it's one, you're like, it's not a lot of work.

[Donna]

She can milk it till 15.

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly.

[Donna]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Our kid will be a weirdo who just believes in Santa forever and becomes a Hallmark Christmas movie.

[Donna]

I mean, my youngest sister, you saw how the age difference there she is milking it. She's 12 years old and like she hasn't said a thing about it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

And so she's just getting more presents and she knows exactly what she's up to. Cuz she's the youngest and like nobody else gets presents anymore. It's just her. And she's like, yeah, I wonder where Santa is right now. I should probably go to bed.

[Grace O'Malley]

She goes, as soon as I say there's no Santa, there's no present.

[Donna]

She's. She's. She's smarter than she looks. She's like, no, they don't really get much anymore at all.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, these red pill, they know the truth now. They don't get anything. Gotta go. Blue pill, dude.

[Donna]

Now did this kid believe in Santa? Big time.

[Grace O'Malley]

That kid ran terrible. That's the mayor of a town. No, that's a good looking. I wish I had the jacket on. That's a good looking. I was a goodlook kid. Look at the joy before you realize that what life is. Life is.

[Donna]

Oh, wow. I'm gonna wear this on stage one day.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would. Yeah, yeah.

[Donna]

In West Palm.

[Grace O'Malley]

I also love those four. Four, but that's so 80s. The four buttons there. That's a good look.

[Donna]

What did he want to be?

[Grace O'Malley]

That kid probably thought he was going to play professional basketball.

[Donna]

Is that right?

[Grace O'Malley]

And literally thought in his head that that was a viable option. No, I can. If I work hard, I can do it.

[Donna]

I just got to get a pair of Converse.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, this kid was still to this day, but wildly adhd. So this kid is like the fact that there's. You don't see like movement and I'm. I'm just standing still for a photo.

[Donna]

You can see it in the eyes. I'm like, I'm gonna move.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you can see it like, I gotta get to the next Thing. I need another Shirley Temple. Where's my Shirley Dimple?

[Donna]

That's the gateway to old fashioned. Oh. What?

[Grace O'Malley]

I was gonna say those long skinny ice in the long skinny glasses. Whenever I see them making it.

[Donna]

Yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, the long skinny. The moment I see them making it with one of those glasses, I go, can you just actually put it like a cocktail glass? Like. Like you put in old fashioned. And they're like, oh, why? And I go, I hate those glasses so much. I go, I have a big nose. And I go to drink it and I'm like, I can't get my face in it. Give me the wide thing.

[Donna]

Damn. I'm sorry for your troubles on that one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Life is so. Anyways, my life is hard. It can't be all dressed like that all the time.

[Donna]

Oh, this is my favorite. Sometimes the camera just finds you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's true. And that's. I can't remember if I touched that up and hyper focused myself or if that's just how it happened, but.

[Donna]

But you were having some fun with the Instagram.

[Grace O'Malley]

My wife would say, this is a perfect reflection of how I see our relationship.

[Donna]

Well, you know, she. She knows this, and, you know, I think that's what makes it work.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, did you notice me in the photo? She's like, yeah, we. We all see you.

[Donna]

Like the, like the story you just told. I FaceTimed my wife and then I FaceTimed her 10 minutes later. Like, notice anything different?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, look at me. She's like, I'm. My wife's like, I'm in bed.

[Donna]

Like, God, I gotta get.

[Grace O'Malley]

I gotta go to sleep. Just. Cuz you had a spot tonight, so you're up late. I love that. This actually feels so good.

[Donna]

Nostalgic, really.

[Grace O'Malley]

And that's me also. This is also me.

[Donna]

Oh, I thought this could Halloween.

[Grace O'Malley]

Very offensive.

[Donna]

Okay. Trudeau style.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, no caption. I don't even know why I posted that.

[Donna]

2016. Maybe he was. Is that when he got out, started golfing?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know.

[Donna]

He died.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's dead. I just found out OJ's dead.

[Donna]

Just now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now just when you. When you said it yourself.

[Donna]

Yeah, I, I. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wow.

[Donna]

I just registered.

[Grace O'Malley]

I rip.

[Donna]

A real one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Man, this is insane that I'll never know why I posted that. Maybe something. Somewhere in the comments, something happened.

[Donna]

Oh, so you were just thinking about him?

[Grace O'Malley]

He was on my mind. He's on my mind. And then he died in like, what, 22, 23? Like, he died pretty soon after getting out. There must have been something I don't know, but this is my guess that there was something about juice in general, and I thought it'd be funny to post the wrong thing about the thing. And I bet that's why I did it with no caption, because I wanted it to be even more like, oh, this is about that. I'm willing to bet that's what I was trying to do.

[Donna]

Now, are you saying juice or juice?

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly. And so that's like sort of my comedy circle. Yeah, no one knows what I'm up to.

[Donna]

Ambiguous.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also, how many likes does that have? That'll also tell you. So that also tells you that people are like, no one gets the joke, Rory. All right. Yeah, no one gets your cerebral take.

[Donna]

It's kind of like something someone posts when they're off their meds.

[Grace O'Malley]

With no caption too. We're like, okay.

[Donna]

And then that. That brings us back to headshot art. Hell yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right there, dude. Coors light. I think that's a Coors Light.

[Donna]

Not the champagne.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gluten free now, so beer's kind of tough. Yeah, beer's a tough space.

[Donna]

I'll be there one day.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm sure it's fun. It's really a lot of fun.

[Donna]

Oh, gosh.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just know pasta. They are getting better at making gluten free pasta. Good. But it's still. You can't. You know when something's like the real thing, you're like. So every now and then I'll take a pill. Just cuz I'm like, like last night. Oh, you can see here, I was like, I took a pill and I like, I need pasta.

[Donna]

It's pasta time.

[Grace O'Malley]

I need pasta. Pasta. Yeah. I need pizza. Pizza. I can't fucking do gluten free crust. That's like kind of falls apart. I need it real.

[Donna]

That's so Hollywood. Anyways, so for this last segment, we just kind of look right into the camera and give a series of shout outs, rapid fire style. So I'm gonna give a shout out. Shout out my mom, shout out my sister, shout out my dad, Shout out my other sister. Shout out my other sister. Kind of like that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, does that count? Is that your first show?

[Donna]

Yeah, I'm just gonna put that in there.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. I'm gonna shout out my sister and then my next sister and then my sister and then my brother, and then my sister and my brother. One of seven kids. Shout out all my siblings. Love y' all so much. Shout out.

[Donna]

And you like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, just keep going. I thought we'd go back and forth. Shout out my wife and my child who I love endlessly. Shout out to everybody who comes out to. I don't. I'm not one of those people that says give it up for yourselves for supporting live comedy. That's the best version of it, so you should come out to it. But also that's a fun space to be. Shout out to all the people in my life who told me that Burning man would be amazing. And I always wanted to go, but never did. Finally went this year. It was the most incredible experience of my life.

[Donna]

Dude, that's crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hashtag subreddit, subtweet. Shout out mdma. The first medicine I've ever truly had. You are incredible. I won't abuse you, but thank you for being in my life. Shout out everybody who, when I took the MDMA and said I was nervous for the first time, was like, we got your back, let's have fun. And then danced for eight, nine hours together. Absolute pure bliss. And then shout out to anybody who wants to come out on this tour. This is how I get my plugs in. Shout out plugs, promotions and hair plugs. Anybody wants to come out to the tour, do it. And if you like it, what we were talking about earlier, never discount how powerful it is for you to be the person to tell a person they should go see the show. We can't rely on anything other than people going, oh I loved it. You should buy a ticket. He's going to be in X City and go and see it.

[Donna]

So yeah, that is, that is good. Word of movie mouth.

[Grace O'Malley]

Word of mouth. Word of mouth.

[Donna]

Is that what they say?

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that. I think they say word them up. Oh, but word of mouth is so good. Word of mouth.

[Donna]

I, I thought it was word of mouth cuz it's like I'm a lyrical gangster.

[Grace O'Malley]

Also what is word of mouth? That might be word of. I'm going to. From now on I'm going to say that's right and I'm going to say I was wrong this entire time. Your home should show off who you.

[Donna]

Are, telling your story in every detail, meeting you where you are. Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal.

[Grace O'Malley]

And modern trends to bring your personal look home.

[Donna]

Pairing eye catching design with features like stain resistant performance fabric, Ashley offers well.

[Grace O'Malley]

Crafted, affordable pieces built to stand up to real life.

[Donna]

Plus they provide fast, reliable white glove.

[Grace O'Malley]

Delivery right to your door. Visit your local Ashley store or head.

[Donna]

To Ashley.com to find your style. New balance. You see them everywhere and if you don't already own a pair. You're probably wondering, do I need some? The answer is yes. And start with The New Balance 1080, the ultimate running shoe that combines comfort, performance and style. They're versatile whether you're race training or running errands. I particularly I'm running errands. I'm not really training for any races anytime soon. But they're extremely breathable and can keep your feet cold. And they are truly so comfortable. I mean that I'm not just reading that. I truly believe that they are as the most comfortable shoe around town. They're cushioned, supportive, lightweight and secure. What more could you really ask for? I'll say shop the 1080@New Balance.com ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening.

[Grace O'Malley]

I get to cut lines. Oh, right this way.

[Donna]

Who, me?

[Grace O'Malley]

I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets.

[Donna]

For my favorite people band.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences. Just for being a customer. At t mobile, VIP means. Y ou check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.

[Donna]

You ever get a lyric wrong? My. My mom got the best one wrong. She got. She thought it was. I love it when you call me big and popular.

[Grace O'Malley]

But also kind of great. Hey, I love it when you call me big and popular.

[Donna]

Can you just do that more?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that makes me feel really good right before a nervous situation. Hey, you're big and popular. Thank you.

[Donna]

Well, thank you so much for coming on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you.

[Donna]

This has been a pleasure.

[Grace O'Malley]

I had a blast.

[Donna]

I'm a huge fan. I've been playing it very cool.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you very much. Love it.

[Donna]

Thanks for watching guys and keep on calling in. I'm sorry for being mean.

[Grace O'Malley]

Shout out to everyone. We were mean to.