Zach Zucker Is The Smooch Guy

Summary

Podcast Summary: Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley
Episode: Zach Zucker Is The Smooch Guy
Release Date: March 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this lively episode of Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley, host Grace O’Malley welcomes comedian Zach Zucker, famously known as "The Smooch Guy," to audition for the coveted position of her permanent co-host. Joined by guest Richard Kind, the episode navigates through a whirlwind of comedic exchanges, personal anecdotes, and deep dives into Zach’s unique career in comedy and clowning. The conversation promises to be a blend of humor, candid moments, and insightful discussions, all aimed at determining if Zach has what it takes to join Grace on a permanent basis.

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Zach Zucker’s Comedic Journey

Early Career and Clowning Skills

Zach Zucker begins by sharing his unconventional path into comedy, highlighting his experiences in clowning. He humorously recounts his time in a clumsy love scene, blending physical comedy with improvisation.

• Zach Zucker [03:28]: "We really do everything except the loud smooching that you're known for."
• Zach Zucker [03:50]: "I felt like I was lathered up in oil. Like, okay, muscles are absolutely bursting the fuck out."

International Performances and Experiences

Zach delves into his international gigs, including performing for royalty and navigating cultural differences in comedy.

• Zach Zucker [06:05]: "Most talented man in Britain. Suck it, Kingdom. He's a Scandinavian."
• Zach Zucker [07:01]: "They laugh harder than I thought. And I did Tucker there, which I could not believe."

Challenges in Comedy: Heckling and Audience Reactions

The conversation takes a turn as Zach discusses the harsh realities of performing live, including dealing with hecklers and unfavorable audience reactions.

• Zach Zucker [29:13]: "I was in the Tempe Improv. Bless them for bringing me out. 500 seater. We had sold 50 tickets on the day of."
• Zach Zucker [32:51]: "The leader of the supremacists. And what? There's always a leader."

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The Audition: Q&A with Richard Kind

Grace O’Malley introduces a segment where Richard Kind interviews Zach to assess his suitability as a co-host. The rapid-fire questions reveal Zach’s quick wit and ability to think on his feet.

Sound Effects and Co-Hosting Potential

• Richard Kind [19:56]: "This one's silly. So you often use the perfect sound in a soundboard. If we were to be co-hosts, what would be good sounds?"
• Zach Zucker [20:17]: "Yeah. I mean, this is so funny because inherently, everything about what I do in Clown is like, what is the least funny thing you could do? And how can you try to make that funny?"

Discussing Comedic Philosophy and Style

Zach emphasizes the importance of embracing failures and using them as material, showcasing his resilience and adaptability in comedy.

• Zach Zucker [40:21]: "I have one line that I love, which is like, man, the acoustics in here, amazing. I can't hear anybody laughing right now."
• Zach Zucker [41:39]: "They all know me as a smooch guy. They know me that I can do Z."

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Personal Anecdotes and Comedic Insights

Shout-Outs and Personal Relationships

The episode features a humorous segment where Zach gives rapid-fire shout-outs to friends and family, revealing his affectionate and playful nature.

• Zach Zucker [52:28]: "Shout out to good Maddie. I love you gm. We the greatest."
• Zach Zucker [53:00]: "Shout out to grandma Lila. Lila Beck. Love you."

Clown School and Artistic Growth

Zach shares his transformative experience at clown school in Etomp, France, which he credits for his growth as a performer.

• Zach Zucker [58:07]: "Clown School was in a small village in France called Etomp. And ETOM loosely translates to stamp. And so my company and show, Stamp Town, is named after this clown school."
• Zach Zucker [59:07]: "I learned how to cook and take care of myself and I learned a few languages."

Dealing with Negative Feedback and Personal Struggles

Zach candidly discusses moments of self-doubt and how negative reviews have shaped his comedic approach.

• Zach Zucker [62:11]: "So I was like, well, this hurts my feelings. Actually, I'm just joking. This is a character. Still."
• Zach Zucker [62:25]: "I'm trying to bring back call as a. As a member of the bees. I'm gonna reclaim for the whole community."

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Humorous Exchanges and Improvisation

Throughout the episode, Zach and Richard engage in spontaneous and humorous dialogues, often breaking the fourth wall and playfully mocking each other’s quirks.

• Zach Zucker [15:14]: "Where's your family from?"
• Richard Kind [65:25]: "Ryder. That's all you've been doing."

Celebrity References and Pop Culture Jokes

The duo references various celebrities and pop culture phenomena, seamlessly blending them into their comedic narrative.

• Zach Zucker [34:09]: "Pete dodged the bullet."
• Zach Zucker [44:58]: "We shake it off. I love that J.D. Vance guy."

Final Shout-Outs and Closing Remarks

In the concluding moments, Zach offers a flurry of shout-outs, emphasizing his connections and maintaining the episode’s high-energy atmosphere.

• Zach Zucker [53:38]: "Shout out to Mary."
• Zach Zucker [57:05]: "Shout out to Jordan and Stevie and Schiller and Danny and Tristan."

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Conclusion

Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley successfully highlights Zach Zucker’s vibrant personality and comedic talents through an engaging and dynamic conversation. From his unique experiences in clowning to his resilience in facing audience challenges, Zach demonstrates the qualities that could make him a perfect fit as Grace O’Malley’s co-host. The episode wraps up with heartfelt and humorous exchanges, leaving listeners entertained and eager to hear more from this duo.

Notable Quotes:

• Zach Zucker [02:16]: "Silky clown time."
• Zach Zucker [21:03]: "Smooch guy will get you enough to continue your career."
• Richard Kind [23:37]: "I miss tato this."

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Key Takeaways

• Zach Zucker brings a unique blend of clowning skills and stand-up comedy, making him a versatile candidate for co-hosting.
• His international performances and ability to adapt to different cultural audiences showcase his broad comedic appeal.
• Zach’s openness about the challenges in live performances adds depth to his comedic persona.
• The chemistry between Zach and Richard Kind highlights the potential for dynamic hosting on the show.

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This episode serves as a testament to Zach Zucker’s comedic journey, his resilience in the face of adversity, and his potential to bring fresh energy to Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley. Listeners who enjoy spontaneous humor and candid conversations will find this episode particularly engaging.

Transcript

[Zach Zucker]

You see where your business can go.

[Grace O'Malley]

To get there, you may need another 10 trucks.

[Zach Zucker]

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[Grace O'Malley]

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[Grace O'Malley]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer. At T Mobile, VIP means y o u. Check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits. Coming at you live from a shady Manhattan studio. It's disgraceful. Featuring your gracious ginger host.

[Richard Kind]

Hey, watch yourself. Only I can say that. Okay, boss.

[Grace O'Malley]

Whatever you say. You pay my bills. Give it up for Grace O'Malley.

[Richard Kind]

Ladies and gentlemen, please help me introduce. Help me, help me in welcoming today's guest. I don't know why I'm reading from a prompt. No introduction. Give it up. You know it from his stage presence, Jack Tucker. Give it up for Zach Zack Zucker.

[Zach Zucker]

My apologies.

[Richard Kind]

Tongue twister you have there.

[Zach Zucker]

Whoa. So many people. This is crazy. Calm down, calm down, Calm down.

[Richard Kind]

They're absolutely going crazy.

[Zach Zucker]

They're going nuts. Oh, my God. Put them away. Zip it up, boys.

[Richard Kind]

Are you. Yeah, they saw me.

[Zach Zucker]

They're like, I'm coming to the interview. Coming to the closed recording.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, shit. Thank you so much for being here, having me. Even if you were late, you know, I was late.

[Zach Zucker]

I was late by a while. And if it was up to me, I would have been three hours late because I, I, I had it three hours wrong from the time zones.

[Richard Kind]

They won't let me schedule anymore because I, I, I scheduled somebody when I was in Minnesota and I was like, yeah, 2:00 will work. But it was actually the time difference. I have no idea.

[Zach Zucker]

No. And we, my, my friends and everyone who works with us, they say we run on like cst, which is. Or sct, which is silly clown time. And so if we say we're going to be there in an hour, they're like, cool. So it'll be three to eight hours or you won't show up. And if you have. And you'll come in and be like, you guys won't believe what just happened. I saw a puddle on the ground and I was like, this is hilarious. And I played in it. So, yeah, I'm also soaking wet. And I ruined your floor.

[Richard Kind]

Did you say silly clown time?

[Zach Zucker]

Silly clown time. Come on, let's go. How were you waiting. How long were you.

[Richard Kind]

I didn't know when I was going to sneak it in, but I was dying too.

[Zach Zucker]

Well, I guess that's it.

[Richard Kind]

Up your intro. It was going to be right there, but I, I, you know, I had to have that.

[Zach Zucker]

And you have to re. Scrub it back to be able to hit it one more time. Do you know I've been in touch with the Baja Men?

[Richard Kind]

That is one of my questions.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay.

[Richard Kind]

Which of the 19.

[Zach Zucker]

So, Ty, I have the number of Tyson. Daniel.

[Richard Kind]

No way.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. He was at the Canadian Music Awards. The Junos and my comedy partners friends. They're both Canadian and their parents were there.

[Richard Kind]

I have a question there. Yes, you say comedy partners and you say that often. What does that entail?

[Zach Zucker]

That's a good.

[Richard Kind]

To me, it sounds like a holy matrimony of comedic genius.

[Zach Zucker]

But, yeah, I mean, I love these boys so much. And they're adults, just to be clear.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, they're of age.

[Zach Zucker]

They're of age. They're in their 70s. We really. We met. We roll around, we tussle. I met, I met most of my. I have like three or four comedy partners that I. I hold in my heart. And it's basically, you know, we do everything except the, the loud smooching that you're known for.

[Richard Kind]

Loud kissing around town. We're talking sweethearts, right?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, we're talking sweethearts.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And that was kind of. It was fun to see that. And I was like, in my mind, I looked so hot and sexy and I was like, oh. You know, I felt like I was like, lathered up in oil. Like, okay, muscles are absolutely bursting the fuck out.

[Richard Kind]

Let's go. Frat bro who fucks.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, Frat bro who fucks but is respectful about it.

[Richard Kind]

Did they add sound effects of smooching or was that.

[Zach Zucker]

I didn't even. We were doing real smooching. Yeah, we were doing real smoo. I'm now self conscious about how my kissing sounds. It was.

[Richard Kind]

I was. But, you know, it was a great way to, you know, kick off the movie.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, all right. Yeah. And I was grunting. I was really. They told me to take about eight or nine times because I was like. Well, I thought you wanted. I thought the character was like a fucklord.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And you wanted me to convey that I'm sorry.

[Richard Kind]

I can't control who I am.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. You want me to not be me right now. Okay, so I guess I'm not acting anymore.

[Richard Kind]

I'm sorry. This is gold. I don't even have to act.

[Zach Zucker]

No, no. Oh, kissing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even read the script.

[Richard Kind]

I got this been do kiss and.

[Zach Zucker]

I was like, so am I doing front boob, back boob? You want me to show you I can undo a br. Take a bit more time, but it'll up my screen time and I can get some more lines in there while I do it. Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, good. Well, congrats on the movie.

[Zach Zucker]

Thank you.

[Richard Kind]

I've been in LA for a week and all they're talking about is. Yes, Mochan. It's like that guy.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, not the. Not the clown. That's the. No, that's the sound effect guy. That's the smooch guy.

[Richard Kind]

He's a man of many talents.

[Zach Zucker]

The tongue twister. Yeah, that's one of my moves.

[T Mobile Customer]

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, right this way.

[T Mobile Customer]

Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer. At T Mobile, VIP means y o u. Check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.

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[Zach Zucker]

So I met two of them. My comedy partner, Viggo Venn, who is a Norwegian clown who famously won Britain's Got Talent two years ago.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, no shit.

[Zach Zucker]

Most talented man in Britain. Suck it, Kingdom. He's a Scandinavian.

[Richard Kind]

Down with the Queen.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes, down with the Queen. Up with the clown. And so we used to do a.

[Richard Kind]

Double jester if you will.

[Zach Zucker]

Well. Oh, my God, I don't even know how much. Fuck it.

[Richard Kind]

He.

[Zach Zucker]

We both are technically jesters because he has performed for the king. He performed at the Royal Variety Show. That's part of. Yeah, that's a legitimate jester.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And I performed on a secret gig on an island for a Saudi prince.

[Richard Kind]

That sounds like it's illegal.

[Zach Zucker]

It definitely. Look, here's the thing. I'm not supposed to talk about it, but I never signed the NDAs and they're probably not going to invite me back. So let's fudgeing. Give Grace what she deserves.

[Richard Kind]

Absolutely. Thank you very much. Yeah, I don't believe in NDAs, especially. How silly of them to think a jester would.

[Zach Zucker]

You think you're going to invite me into this place and I'm not going to talk about it? You're out of your Saudi prince. I'm the smooch guy.

[Richard Kind]

That's the smooch guy. Guys, he's not holding back.

[Zach Zucker]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm going. Tongue, lip, teeth, all of it.

[Richard Kind]

Surround sound.

[Zach Zucker]

Surround sound kisses.

[Richard Kind]

Sorry. Prince is like, all right, let's send that one back.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They invite me back out there and they just kill me.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

It was crazy. The aesthetic for that was. Did you watch White Lotus?

[Richard Kind]

I did, yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

You know the second season with the gays who killed Jennifer Coolidge?

[Richard Kind]

Yes. Of course.

[Zach Zucker]

It felt like I was performing to them. And then about 30 high end escorts on a private.

[Richard Kind]

That is exactly what I was picturing, so.

[Zach Zucker]

It's exactly that.

[Richard Kind]

I nailed it. Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

They laughed harder than I thought. And I did Tucker there, which I could not believe. And, yeah, I kind of lived in paradise for like five days. And it was a bit of like a. I'm sorry, is this real? I paid the most money I've ever been paid for a gig. It was funny because I asked if there was anything I should or shouldn't say, and the booker is a South African dude. And he was like, you know, it's not that you can't say anything, but don't mention you're Jewish. And I was like, okay. And he's like, it's not that they have a problem. They just don't know when to laugh. And I was like, all right, so I'm not gonna mention.

[Richard Kind]

Such a weird mood.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes, it's a weird mood right away.

[Richard Kind]

Especially from a South African guy. We've learned they're a little. Yeah, they're nuts.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, they're nuts. Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

My sister had a good Joke. The other day, she goes, you know how people do a Jeep wave? What do you think they do at a Tesla?

[Zach Zucker]

Come on. There we go. There we go. They share it from their heart.

[Richard Kind]

Dude.

[Zach Zucker]

I've been really loving. Like, I know it's. It's absolutely nothing, but, like, every single time I see someone in a cyber truck, like, I really. I give it to them. And I'm praying you don't have a cybertruck right now, but if you did, it'd be kind of a slave.

[Richard Kind]

I don't have a licen.

[Zach Zucker]

Girl. Let's go.

[Richard Kind]

I'm on the Polar. I'll go back.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, that rocks. I want to. I want to be the guy that's, like, keying every one of those cars. Like, you know, we kind of do the, like, you know, suck my balls. And I'm like, you probably have the software to tell it's me.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, they're doing a retina eye. They have, like, the same programming they do in Vegas.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Where you get kicked out and you're not allowed to come back.

[Zach Zucker]

You're never allowed to come back, but they give you a cool drink, and.

[Richard Kind]

You can drink me about.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Get out of here.

[Richard Kind]

You won too much. That. I've never won anything in my life, so that would never happen to me.

[Zach Zucker]

But I won one thing once, and it was when I was in, like, third grade. I was in a day camp, and I live. I grew up in Chicago.

[Richard Kind]

Yes. Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And I. I won tickets to a White Sox game that I never went to, but it was awesome. And I got to, like. I felt like I was the coolest kid in the day camp that day.

[Richard Kind]

That's so sick, though.

[Zach Zucker]

And also, I was a guy where. I think it's kind of elevated to this point, too, where I was like, yeah, look, if you want to win a lottery, you got to talk to me like, I know how to do this. Just giving a number.

[Richard Kind]

What'd you do to. What'd you do to win the socks? Tickets?

[Zach Zucker]

They just passed. I think it was a rainy day, and they didn't know what to do, so they probably bought, like, $30 tickets to, like, the cheapest part of. I remember they played the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, who at the time were a very bad team. And I don't know anything about baseball anymore, but.

[Richard Kind]

But back then.

[Zach Zucker]

But back then, you're a Devil Race fan. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. You have issues. Wow. Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

You know how I got these tickets?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Yeah, I jokered them. You want to Know how I got these tickets? My father was a baseball player.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, you're good with the impressions.

[Zach Zucker]

Whatever. I can't help it. So good. I'm trying to do, like, an industry. I'm doing my industry showcase right now. The world's gonna see this.

[Richard Kind]

I'm gonna sign you.

[Zach Zucker]

Please.

[Richard Kind]

I'm gonna sign you right now.

[Zach Zucker]

Good.

[Richard Kind]

I wish I had the power.

[Zach Zucker]

Well, let me tell you this. I'm here to empower you to do whatever you want.

[Richard Kind]

Shit. As a woman that I'm.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, whatever. I'm kind of out there trying to be an ally and stuff.

[Richard Kind]

Damn.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Well, hey, lady.

[Richard Kind]

All my fellows back to the Baja man.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes.

[Richard Kind]

Yes. So you met them?

[Zach Zucker]

I met. So this is. I think, the pace of how this is going to go.

[Richard Kind]

This is how. This is how my brain operates. And I think. I think most people can't pay attention unless it's rapid fire fast.

[Zach Zucker]

No. And this is how I operate as well, this. You know, my. My whole act is like, und diagnosed, unmedicated illness.

[Richard Kind]

What?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I know it's crazy. But he's so grounded and he's so succinct and direct with his words. I'd put this clip out years ago, and then about in 2022 or 2023, there, the photographer of the group was like, hey, I just sent this to the gang.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, no.

[Zach Zucker]

And I was like, let's go.

[Richard Kind]

Wow.

[Zach Zucker]

And then I started following them on Instagram and then we started chatting. And the hope is when we film this Tucker special someday, if somebody ever wants it, which. Spoiler alert. Well, please. Yeah. As my manager, I would love for you to help me make this.

[Richard Kind]

I'm going to. Come on, kid. We got to work fast.

[Zach Zucker]

We gotta go.

[Richard Kind]

Baja men only have so many days.

[Zach Zucker]

Well, that's what I'm saying. And I think I have, like, one of my goals in my life is to be an honorary Baja Men. To be the 20th member.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And to go on tour with them. But I want to bring them out in the special and they've seen the clips. And like, every now and then they'll like my posts and, like, you know, I take dance class because I, like, love to dance to this day. To this day.

[Richard Kind]

This is my.

[Zach Zucker]

This is my new. You know, it's the only thing I ever really do earnestly. Oh, wow. And, like, talk about my comedy. I hate you. Talk about my dance. And I'm like, okay. You actually are trying to get in my heart.

[Richard Kind]

You can't touch my dance. That's my soul.

[Zach Zucker]

That's my soul right there. And they'll like, like some of my dance videos. And I'm like, like, what are they thinking? Yeah, what are they thinking about this guy who made this, like, joke about them?

[Richard Kind]

Or.

[Zach Zucker]

I mean, it's. It's a celebration of the celebration. And I want to go on record and say, who let the dogs out? Is a feminist anthem. Because the dogs and people thought it was like, they're calling women dogs. They're saying it's the men who are making the women feel uncomfortable. Who let these dogs in the room? Wow. The party was nice. The party was dumb. Jump in or bump in. Hi. Yeah, Epio.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Everybody's having a ball until the fellas start. The name Colin. There it is. It's. Who let these freaking dogs out?

[Richard Kind]

Wow.

[Zach Zucker]

And I'll tell you, it was the 19 of them. They created a blockade, like a chain protesting blockade.

[Richard Kind]

I think what they're thinking when they see your dancing videos and they like them. I think they want in, pal.

[Zach Zucker]

I think they're like, okay, here we go.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, it's so fun to do it on you.

[Zach Zucker]

It's awesome. And I love it. You know, I do genuinely love it. It cracks me up. And I also can't believe know how you feel about this, having so many people watch all the things you do. But I'm like, I put stuff out there and I'm like, surely nobody actually sees this. And then when people watch it, I'm like, well, that wasn't for you. I was just joking. I was just kidding right there. I wouldn't actually do that for real.

[Richard Kind]

What are you stupid?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, you fucking idiot. Find something better to do, but get me money too. Also.

[Richard Kind]

Well, I. So I just saw your Joe Schmo show. There's one point where you're like, I am a struggling actor and anybody who wants to sign me, please sign me right now. And they put your info up, but they blurred it.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I know.

[Richard Kind]

That was so screwy.

[Zach Zucker]

I did. To be fair, I think I gave my phone number in my full that dress. So I like. I understand. My grandma texted me about that. She's like, was that serious? Why'd you do that? And I'm like, come on. You know, I can't see. They can't see this, but it's all.

[Richard Kind]

Blurry for her, so she can't tell.

[Zach Zucker]

That it's tell at all. Yeah, I don't even know if that's you. I'm like, it what? Well, it wasn't unless people are asking if it's Kissing guy from Sweethearts.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, my God. And your grandma must be so proud.

[Zach Zucker]

That one was awesome. I was in. This will make me sound so much cooler than I am, but I was in the Canary Islands when it came out, because it was my. With different prince, a different one who has yet to pay his debts.

[Richard Kind]

They never do.

[Zach Zucker]

They never do. And that one, I was really. You know, I was buffed up. I was. I was oiled up. I was in the pool every day.

[Richard Kind]

Pool boy central.

[Zach Zucker]

Well, that was. The thing is, I was definitely, like. I was definitely walking around at that gig being like, I'd let him. You trying to pay me? I'll take that.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. Why not?

[Zach Zucker]

I'm pay for play right now.

[Richard Kind]

Come on now.

[Zach Zucker]

What's the point of being bisexual if you won't let a prince fuck you for money? Please.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, my God. Bisexual with coin, too. I'll take gold, I'll take jewels.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm trying to get these bigger.

[Richard Kind]

I want bigger hoops.

[Zach Zucker]

I want more piercings, bigger hoops.

[Richard Kind]

That's my guy right there.

[Zach Zucker]

That's it right there. But my rest of my family, my mom's side, watched it all. It was Thanksgiving that it came out, so everyone's Thanksgiving, so it's already weird vibes on both sides.

[Richard Kind]

Mom, which side don't. It's, like, not particularly your favorite side. Just out of curiosity.

[Zach Zucker]

Look, I have an answer, but I will very, very diplomatically not say, oh, he's good.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, he's good.

[Zach Zucker]

But I. But I. Yeah, yeah, they know.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, Mine's my dad's side, so.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. How come?

[Richard Kind]

Racist.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, but that's why I love my dad's side, why I love racism.

[Richard Kind]

Strike me as a fellow that I. It's.

[Zach Zucker]

It's more that I just. I love their culture. I love to hear what they're up to.

[Richard Kind]

Fun to watch. It's kind of crazy.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, it's. It's nice to know that they're actively hurting the rest my future and the rest of my life, and they don't see it that way.

[Richard Kind]

They find it to be classic comedy.

[Zach Zucker]

I think that rocks. I think that's actually really cool.

[Richard Kind]

They're on their own wave, and I'm.

[Zach Zucker]

Just trying to ride it, bro.

[Richard Kind]

It's fun to watch.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I think we completely agree there.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. All right.

[Zach Zucker]

Where's your family from?

[Richard Kind]

We're from Boston. So long history of racism there.

[Zach Zucker]

Nice. Yeah, you guys are some of the best.

[Richard Kind]

The south wins top tier, and then Boston comes in close second.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, we're basically the south, but you're the south of the. Of the northeast.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. My dad's always wanted to be a cowboy. I.

[Zach Zucker]

Every time I go to Texas, which is maybe twice a year for comedy festivals.

[Richard Kind]

Yes, of course.

[Zach Zucker]

You know, as.

[Richard Kind]

As we're doing the same one. We're doing Moon Tower together.

[Zach Zucker]

Do you want to do Stamtown there?

[Richard Kind]

I would love to. Oh, my God.

[Zach Zucker]

Hell, yeah.

[Richard Kind]

I just got a gig. I just got a gig.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, it's crazy. So it's one of those pay to play.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

You have to pay us hundreds of dollars to be on it.

[Richard Kind]

And I will.

[Zach Zucker]

And you will. Perfect. No, that's jewels.

[Richard Kind]

Diamonds.

[Zach Zucker]

You know, I do.

[Richard Kind]

I will have to find a Saudi prince, but I will get some to you.

[Zach Zucker]

I feel like you could if you wanted to.

[Richard Kind]

I don't even know where to acquire jewels. Gems, even. Maybe I could get you. I could probably find, like, an old brooch.

[Zach Zucker]

Look.

[Richard Kind]

Is that a word?

[Zach Zucker]

Even. Even if you got me, like, a juicy Couture sweatsuit with, like, the little studs on the butt.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, they're gonna. In the ass.

[Zach Zucker]

Please.

[Richard Kind]

Because that's all I'm going to get.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what I. I would love that. I would wear a juicy. I'd wear a matching sweatsuit.

[Richard Kind]

Do you know. You know how they do the Dunk Kings commercials for the super bowl with bossy guys? Ben Affleck, Matt Damon.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Richard Kind]

Those are Juicy Couture sweats this year. I don't know why I shared that.

[Zach Zucker]

Information, but it's nice to know.

[Richard Kind]

It is nice to know.

[Zach Zucker]

Would you want to be in a legendary Boston Dun commercial?

[Richard Kind]

My dick.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, kind of. Kind of shitting your dick right now.

[Richard Kind]

I mean, dude, I. I would blast off for that.

[Zach Zucker]

Who are your top three Bostonians?

[Richard Kind]

Oh, that's funny. Somebody else asked that too.

[Zach Zucker]

Sorry. Who are favorite Bostonians?

[Richard Kind]

Mark Wahlberg.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, obviously can't stand your burger restaurant. Out of here, dog. We don't care.

[Richard Kind]

Stop waking up at 3am I literally just went on a tangent yesterday. I called out Mark Wahlberg, Martha Stewart, and who was the third? I feel like I hit it. I hit a hat trick on who I couldn't stand in the moment.

[Zach Zucker]

What about Martha is getting you?

[Richard Kind]

She's just a. A. She's a dumb.

[Zach Zucker]

Sorry, Martha.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. Off.

[Zach Zucker]

She watched this. She's actually our two biggest fans, and she's like, why would do this to me?

[Richard Kind]

I watched a documentary and she was sleeping around, and on top of. And I'm all, forget. Get it where you can. But the second thing they said right after she said she was sleeping around and she didn't really care was she was rude to her staff. And that's where I draw the line.

[Zach Zucker]

That's. That's kind of my thing is if people are. I really. And maybe I'm delusional. Think I have a pretty good professional relationships with everybody.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And the only time I'm ever nasty to anyone is if they're rude to a venue staff.

[Richard Kind]

Absolutely.

[Zach Zucker]

Or a production staff from, like, Then I'll go off on those people. But I'm like, dude, you don't. Don't go towards those folks. Don't do that.

[Richard Kind]

Or people who are, like, snappy in a green room, like, get over yourself, Bud Light. I'm like, oh, my God, please give me how to Bud Light, and I'll go get it. And I'm so sorry. And I'll get the ice.

[Zach Zucker]

When people. Even if people ever open a door for me or offer, like, a Uber, a taxi driver will offer to hold a lug, like, any luggage, I'm like, dude, don't touch this. I have, like, horrible shit in here. There's yucky props. I don't eat this. You don't want to do this. You can get sticky. There's loose dynamite in there and bullet and fake money and rubber chicken. It's. It's intense.

[Richard Kind]

You're explosive.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Sorry.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what they call me.

[Richard Kind]

It's about to explode.

[Zach Zucker]

Let's go. It's. It's also. That's damaged my brain because I have so many Pavlovian. Yeah. What do you mean?

[Richard Kind]

You seem sane as hell.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I'm kind of. I'm kind of epic and chill and normal. That's. That's my. That's. My rebrand for 2025 is just being normal.

[Richard Kind]

Dude, the way this is the first time we're meeting.

[Zach Zucker]

I know.

[Richard Kind]

This is the best episode I've had thus far.

[Zach Zucker]

Let's run it back a hundred times.

[Richard Kind]

This is great.

[Zach Zucker]

This is me vying for your co host.

[Richard Kind]

Well, so. So that's, like, one of the questions here.

[Zach Zucker]

Come on. Can I knock them all out?

[Richard Kind]

Let's knock them out. All right, so the premise of this is I'm looking for a new co host, and I think you might be the fit. So let's. Let's. I'm gonna ask you just a couple questions and see what you have to say.

[Zach Zucker]

Perfect.

[Richard Kind]

So I say this all the time. If. If you don't got the sauce, you lost. But you. Man.

[Zach Zucker]

Did you take that from Me?

[Richard Kind]

No.

[Zach Zucker]

Do you want to know something, or are you fucking with me?

[Richard Kind]

I am fucking with you. It's on your website. Damn it.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I was like, wait a minute. I put that on the bott Single mailing list. It's on ever, and it's one of the best quotes ever.

[Richard Kind]

It really is. And I love that, you know Gucci Mane's legal name.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes. Patrick Davis. I love Gucci Gucci. If you're watching this, please, please, brother. Anything you need, man.

[Richard Kind]

Anything main.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, anything main you need. You need a bisexual Jew in your crew. Come on, dog. I know the market is. It's growing, unfortunately, but I'm. I'm there.

[Richard Kind]

You don't need an agent. You sell yourself perfectly.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm ready to rock. I wish you could have felt what I felt in that moment when you started saying that. I'm like, have I met someone else who understands the power of this quote?

[Richard Kind]

Like, I wish to God I. I had you, and not in a tricky way.

[Zach Zucker]

God, is it? Well, now I'm nervous that all these are gonna be tricks.

[Richard Kind]

No, no, no, no, no, no. This. This one's silly. So you often use the perfect sound in a soundboard. If we were to be co hosts, what would be good sounds?

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, that's a good question.

[Richard Kind]

It's kind of crazy to come up with sounds with your mouth on the spot. I suppose.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I. I mean, I. This is. It's so funny because, like, inherently, everything about what I do in Clown is like, what is the least funny thing you could do? And how can you try to make that funny? So, like, then I remember in these moments. Oh, yeah. All of my ideas are bad.

[Richard Kind]

No.

[Zach Zucker]

Well, because in my element, I was like, well, what's the sound effect in my head? I went. And I don't know what if? Why? But that's a good one. That's a good one. My dad taught me this one.

[Richard Kind]

Dude, I can do that too.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, there we go.

[Richard Kind]

It's so. Dude, that's my trick.

[Zach Zucker]

So there's our trick.

[Richard Kind]

There it is.

[Zach Zucker]

Look. And that's the sauce.

[Richard Kind]

Dude, that's. That's not easy to do. No, I try to teach that to people, and they. Oh, my God.

[Zach Zucker]

And then you feel awesome when they can't do it because then they're, like, clapping in front of their. I'm also so loud smashing my hands in front of the mic.

[Richard Kind]

You know that feeling you had about. About the quote? I just had that with the. With the smashing of the mouth. Wow. That was.

[Zach Zucker]

That was that internally is how it feels to be smooch guy.

[Richard Kind]

Wow. Dude. I think one day, like, that's kind of like, this is all fun and games, but I want to be smooch guy through and through.

[Zach Zucker]

Dude, I'm telling you, smooch guy will get you enough to continue your career. And that's the thing. It gets you to an opportunity like this. I just. Kelly Clarkson. Oh, maybe this is it. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment. You know, little. That little American idol got nervous.

[Richard Kind]

Just start. Just like it goes. It starts dark. And then that's how we started the show.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, man. Well, look, when we do stamp down in Austin, we could just sing it together. We could just play Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini back to back.

[Richard Kind]

That would be lovely.

[Zach Zucker]

People would lose their mind.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. One thing I will say, and I know you're a big dancer. I don't dance.

[Zach Zucker]

You don't have to.

[Richard Kind]

I don't have rhythm.

[Zach Zucker]

Look, I don't really either, But I then always tell myself when I can't get it, oh, it doesn't matter, because I'm a comedian. But then I. But then I. Obviously in my heart, I'll go home and be like, God, you're so stupid. Why does your body move like this?

[Richard Kind]

Why can't I shuffle ball change for real?

[Zach Zucker]

And I'm like, I was trying to tiggy tiki wap wap. And then I got hit it on.

[Richard Kind]

The 1, 2, 4, 4.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I love dance. Choreographers kill me because they're like, one, and we go and we work and.

[Richard Kind]

Hit it with up.

[Zach Zucker]

Yep. Okay, so we're gonna dance together. All right.

[Richard Kind]

Moving right along. I've seen you betray someone face to face on the Joe Schmo show. Just absolutely life.

[Zach Zucker]

And I'm like, who was this?

[Richard Kind]

It was real for him.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

So for anyone who doesn't know the Joe Schmo show, basically, it's like the show that they had. What is jury duty. And this is. Same thing, but different. It's a game show. Everybody on the game show is an actor except for one guy.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

And you guys really with them.

[Zach Zucker]

We. Truman showed him.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

But, like, you know, for the amount of money that he makes in the end, because it's more than that. They advertise. And I'll. I'll let that not be the spoiler. I won't spoil that.

[Richard Kind]

Are we talking Saudi money?

[Zach Zucker]

We're talking Saudi money. Yeah. He saw the money, and he took the money. There we go.

[Richard Kind]

I gotta go, dude.

[Zach Zucker]

It's. I wish I brought My laptop. Because it's just all these, these like post it notes with like Blu tack or like taped down, like sticky notes with different symbols on it that are all the hotkeys.

[Richard Kind]

You're hired. Yeah, I'm.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm really looking for a job right now. I'm looking for a job.

[Richard Kind]

This is great. To get serious. Should I expect you to constantly lie in my face because you're really good at it?

[Zach Zucker]

No, never.

[Richard Kind]

Deceitful. Just, just. Yeah, I fucked up to queue on that.

[Zach Zucker]

Go on, take it back. Take it back.

[Richard Kind]

Okay. Should I expect you to constantly lie to my face as a co supposed to get the outcome you desire is really what it is?

[Zach Zucker]

If that's what you need from me. Yes. And if that's what I independently feel the crowd wants. Yes.

[Richard Kind]

At the end of the day, you are a showman.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what I like to call myself. And sometimes when I say that, I'm like, oh, I understand again why I'm not booking anything.

[Richard Kind]

What? I'm a showman.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm a showman. I'm an entertainer.

[Richard Kind]

You don't want me. I'm a showman. Clearly you don't like the show.

[Zach Zucker]

No. And you don't like the man either. I would pray for any guest that comes on. If the two of us were working together because there's no room for them to get in.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

I'd have my friends coming in, spilling stuff all over the place. My buddy Dylan, anytime I'm on anything and he's in town, he'll come in to bring me like a water or anything and then trip and fall and then just comes back with more and more and more. We spent £250 on jokes in the Friend the Edinburgh Fringe last year.

[Richard Kind]

You are. You are a world traveler. Saying pounds like bloody Asia.

[Zach Zucker]

Bloody world, man. Any.

[Richard Kind]

I thought you just worked up a sweat and lost £250.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah, I wish.

[Richard Kind]

I want that gig.

[Zach Zucker]

I want that one too. Maybe they'll take me to Fashion Week, but unfortunately this year was not my year.

[Richard Kind]

There's no role for me there. I tried to think of one. There isn't one for me there.

[Zach Zucker]

But that's why we had this. Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

You know, thank God we have something.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. We just turned this. We just make the disgrace full. You just make it a Z and that's all it is in there.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, there. Yeah. Perfect.

[Zach Zucker]

Done.

[Richard Kind]

It's so easy, this branding. I mean, it's coming together.

[Zach Zucker]

We got this. We got this.

[Richard Kind]

I've got a new segment. It's called in the green room. This is kind of. It's supposed to be like we're in the green room and we're getting to know each other, like a late night hang kind of thing. And the first question I have is, do you have a rider?

[Zach Zucker]

You know, I really don't, but I. And I just found this out. I just did the Kennedy center last week, which is pretty epic. First time in a federal building and probably my last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We walked out, a lot of Trump supporters, and I was screaming, die. Kill yourself. Fuck you. Fuck your families. You ruined my life. Matt Gates won't text me back. You know the classics.

[Richard Kind]

You know the hits.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. And they asked for a writer, and I'm like, you know, I'm used to playing, like, dirt shit venues that smell like piss. Not like, you know, places that have funding or multiple people to do actual jobs.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. Of.

[Zach Zucker]

And I, in my writer, they're like, what do you want? And they have like a full. You know, I almost had a cantina, but, like, just a restaurant attached to it. And we ordered the funniest boyish order. We ordered, like, five steak frites, like a bunch of wings and nachos, and that's awesome. A salad that was untouched, of course.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. You just have to look at it.

[Zach Zucker]

Exactly. We're like, oh, no, but the greens here.

[Richard Kind]

Well, we're all gonna die if we don't just glance at it. Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And I got my greens. Actually, my guy. I have a guy in LA who told me if I look at the salad, it's the same thing as ingesting it.

[Richard Kind]

I just rub it, man. I just.

[Zach Zucker]

Rubbing peanut Thai kale on your AR burns.

[Richard Kind]

Here we go.

[Zach Zucker]

But then I. I filled out a rider for that. And all I asked for was like, I asked for a jar of peanut butter pita chips. Because, like, in the show, I then laugh and make a joke where you go, PETA chip. Yeah. And we do the Family Guy sound. And then apples, oranges, bananas. It's a good one, right? It's really fun. It's really good. It's so good. And it never, ever gets what I think it deserves. There's another one, too, that we do where I talk about someone falling 50ft and then I go, Go 50ft. Nobody laughs at that ever. And I'm like, that's just for me. That's just for me. I think that's a really funny, stupid joke to make 120 minutes into a show.

[Richard Kind]

That's great. Yeah. I mean, where are they falling flat.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what I'm saying, guys, these out there, it's the liberals. It's the liberals running my life.

[Richard Kind]

I, you know, and that's what they say. That's what they say in the mainstream media news.

[Zach Zucker]

And. And I believe them. But that's what I basically said to them. I was off. I was like. They were like, yeah, your writer is like one of the weirdest writers we've ever gotten. And it went completely untouched. And I was like, well, I just need the apples to explode in my act.

[Richard Kind]

Duh.

[Zach Zucker]

And yeah, duh. Why? Because I have to soften my apples where I bash them on the wall a little bit so they explode and then.

[Richard Kind]

Well, you should, you should order them in advance. All smushed up.

[Zach Zucker]

So can I get yourself some time? Rotten, mushy apples. Well, I did find out in my suitcase, this aforementioned packed suitcase with hand buzzers and squirting flowers, that there was two rotting apples in there. And that's why it all smelled. And I was like, okay, so that's why that. That's the stank. It's not. Thank God. It's not me.

[Richard Kind]

You weren't the stinky boy.

[Zach Zucker]

No, and I was worried it was me for a little bit.

[Richard Kind]

It's just a stinky bad apple.

[Zach Zucker]

A literal.

[Richard Kind]

Which I've also been called. Yeah, yeah, a bad apple.

[Zach Zucker]

A stinky bad apple. But you find the right guy and they'll pay Saudi money for that.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, they will.

[Zach Zucker]

They sure will.

[Richard Kind]

The stinky and the butter and Saudi.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what they say. That's what they say.

[Richard Kind]

And they've been saying that for years. On the news for years.

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[Richard Kind]

Speaking of a bomb. And this segment's just called Bombs.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay.

[Richard Kind]

All right. Do you recall the first time you were ever heckled negatively? And how did you respond to it?

[Zach Zucker]

I don't know if I can remember the first time, because I think the first, like, three years I was doing comedy, I moved out here at 18 to be a star. Classic.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, yes.

[Zach Zucker]

Of course, I'm only 16 now. It's crazy how it works out like that.

[Richard Kind]

16 in the middle of Miami.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, I, I, I don't like what I, what I will maybe say is I don't remember the first time, but I remember recently I did a show in Tempe, Arizona, where I was heckled by a group. Well, the entire venue. It was a nightmare. It was a, it was what we call a booking error in the biz.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, rats.

[Zach Zucker]

And I did, I did the Tempe Improv. Bless. Bless them for bringing me out. 500 seater. We had sold 50 tickets on the day of.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, okay.

[Zach Zucker]

We eventually got to, like, in the 130s, and it was a ton of people who knew they were not, who didn't know they were seeing a character, that this was a clown show, that this was bad on purpose, or that there was any theatrical elements involved. And that really quick, quickly makes me feel like a loser. And it's pathetic when you play the bad comedian and it's just going poorly. No one laughs. Like, this is the first time I did the Baja Men joke in years, and not a single person laughed.

[Richard Kind]

Oh.

[Zach Zucker]

At all. But I was heckled by multiple groups of people, including a group of white supremacists who.

[Richard Kind]

In Tempe. What?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, what? And that's, and that was. The thing is, when I kind of look back, I'm like, oh, that's on me for thinking, this guy doesn't get me at all.

[Richard Kind]

You don't like golf or nothing?

[Zach Zucker]

No, it was, it was a strange one. Usually in the shows where I would, like, joke being like, all right, let's get down to it. Who voted for Trump? And there's, like, a weird tension. Tension. When I said that here, everyone cheered. And when I then joked, and I have a joke about saying, Hillary Clinton is an American hero and she's in, the punchline is because her husband got a blowjob in the White House and she didn't care.

[Richard Kind]

And they didn't love that.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. And so when I said, who loves Hillary Clinton? They got, like, really nervous.

[Richard Kind]

That's when they reach for the Glock.

[Zach Zucker]

The leader of the supremacists. And what?

[Richard Kind]

There's always a leader.

[Zach Zucker]

There's always a leader. And this guy was a bald man who was three fishbowls deep. He had a palm tree tattoo on his head.

[Richard Kind]

Now, for hating gay people, drinking a fishbowl is a little gay.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what I'm saying. And I'm trying to bring back call as a. As a member of the bees. I'm gonna reclaim for the whole community. And also, I want to call us the whole community, because I think that's also really funny.

[Richard Kind]

That's really good. It's good.

[Zach Zucker]

And that and our. So, like this.

[Richard Kind]

It don't matter.

[Zach Zucker]

Hey, it don't matter. LGBT lads, guys, boys, totally cool dudes. We're bringing it back. I've also been saying I'm a bipoc. A bisexual international performer of clown.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes.

[Richard Kind]

That's a Nich niche.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. And it's not gotten me any extra funding or any opportunities.

[Richard Kind]

There's got to be a.

[Zach Zucker]

A loophole.

[Richard Kind]

What's that? What is it called when you get a grant? It's got to be a grant for.

[Zach Zucker]

That or angel investments. I'm looking for anybody like this, but this guy told us that his name was Aryan, and he eventually shouted white power, and that killed the mood. That was already dead. It was not resuscitateable. And it was a group of six guys. Five white guys, one black guy, two women. Women. And when they said that, they all started pointing to their black friend, being like, we're joking. And I was like, oh, this is making it worse. And then it also came out later that they were all felons and couldn't even vote for Trump.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

So it was a really strange.

[Richard Kind]

Always is, you know, this is the case.

[Zach Zucker]

So it was a strange one. And I. I had a rough night after that show. I had a little cry because, you know, there's moments where I'm like, is this good? You know, I. When someone I admire likes this, I'm like, okay, so I must. I must not be the worst performer in the world, or I'm being pranked right now.

[Richard Kind]

Are you? That is. That' call. That's grounds for pranking. That's. It's just as bad as it can get. Yeah. But at least, you know. At least, you know, they weren't reaching for their guns because they can't own any.

[Zach Zucker]

But they probably do. Illegally.

[Richard Kind]

Yes.

[Zach Zucker]

I would bet my life on it. Those guys are all strapped.

[Richard Kind]

Well, they were passing the family. What Am I going to get rid of them? You know what I'm saying?

[Zach Zucker]

What am I going to get rid of these guys?

[Richard Kind]

My grandpa had this gun.

[Zach Zucker]

They're like all the ones who, like, put the thing. You put the whole thing in there and, like, put the gunpowder back in. All right, here we go.

[Richard Kind]

When I get to it, I'm gonna get you good. I just need a second here.

[Zach Zucker]

And hold on. You stay right there. Don't you move one bit. Yeah, yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Spits.

[Zach Zucker]

The secret ingredient to make a gun go boom.

[Richard Kind]

Just racist. Yeah. Saliva, dude.

[Zach Zucker]

Do you think you can tell in saliva molecules that they're racist? Probably.

[Richard Kind]

You got me there. Yeah, you got me there.

[Zach Zucker]

It's same. I'm like. I'm like, trying to. I'm like, kind of, you know, like slot machine being like, okay, what are the things that could look like? And I'm like, maybe if you look at the little. Their genetic makeup, there's like, little. The snakes from the Don't Tread on Me flag.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, that's an absolute. They're not little. They're not little like sperm guys. They're little snakes.

[Zach Zucker]

Little snakes.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, I guess. Doesn't make sperm. I never knew how baby made.

[Zach Zucker]

Well do. Well. I actually talked about this with someone the other day. I. When I was younger, thought that making out was kissing and sex was making out naked. I mean, that's what I still think. I thought I had sex in that.

[Richard Kind]

Movie Suck face guy. What are we talking?

[Zach Zucker]

Guys? Boy, that's. That's what I've been doing then I guess I've had sex with a thousand.

[Richard Kind]

People, then kissing killer bodies after Bodies.

[Zach Zucker]

That movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies was a biopic of my life.

[Richard Kind]

I figured as such. Wow. Wow. And you were. You were Peter.

[Zach Zucker]

I was.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, of course. Exactly. Peter Davidson.

[Richard Kind]

Yes.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Richard Kind]

My friends call him Mr. David.

[Zach Zucker]

Mr. David. Do you think you would be friends with him if you guys met?

[Richard Kind]

I just met him on a football field and I haven't talked about it and I've been jazzed to say such girl.

[Zach Zucker]

Get it.

[Richard Kind]

So kind.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I mean, he seems like he just takes a lot of shit from a lot of people, but it's probably a really nice guy.

[Richard Kind]

He seemed like a really nice guy, and I felt bad for him. Although he was on the field and, you know, like, that's where people will be looking the most. He was wearing, like a ski mask where you could just see his eyes. But he had kind eyes. Oh, yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Bless him.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

I still. I was thinking about this the other Day. The whole Kanye, Kim Pete stuff, I mean, that's to. That was a pretty wild moment. Yeah. In pop culture right there.

[Richard Kind]

Totally. 1,000%.

[Zach Zucker]

And he did smooch on Kim K.

[Richard Kind]

I will say, not for nothing, Mr. Peter David. Mr. David. Pete dodged the bullet.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Seems like there's a lot of stuff going on there that you just, you.

[Zach Zucker]

Know, you don't want to be a part of that. No, no, no, no. And he's. I mean, look, he's. He is literally Mr. Smooch Man.

[Richard Kind]

Yes. No. Yes.

[Zach Zucker]

He's. He's Mr. Well and Endowed.

[Richard Kind]

He is Mr. Lover Boy. So much so that he had to get all of his love taken off of his skin.

[Zach Zucker]

I saw that recently.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. So many matching tattoos with all of his lovers, and they're all married. You know what? Let's just start with. Yeah, it's a born again version when it comes to skin, so I'm starting fresh.

[Zach Zucker]

I hear he got a. He got a tattoo of you on his forearm. After that, it was the two of you guys on a football field.

[Richard Kind]

It's really just my eyes and my freckles.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Because that's how we met. Eye to eye. That's it. We were eye.

[Zach Zucker]

Have you ever met any celebrity crushes that you were like, wait, hold on a second. Am I going to be flirting here, or do you keep it cordial profession?

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, I know I've made a rule that I got to stop talking about this, but I used to have a crush on Shane Gillis, and I just kept running into him one month or two months straight, and I. I seemed like a. A real stalker. And it ended with me congratulating him after doing SNL at the afterparty. And instead of just leaving it at that, I also said, yeah, bro, I bet you're gonna get my pussy tonight, man. Yeah. And.

[Zach Zucker]

And that rules.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, that was just what came up. And that was flirting for me. So.

[Zach Zucker]

Dude, I bet you're going to get it, huh?

[Richard Kind]

I bet you're going to rip through tail tonight, bro.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, bro. Damn, dude. Can some of you lifeguards guys drowning in over here?

[Richard Kind]

And then I felt bad, so I got him a beer. He was like, thank you. Like, it was like, come on.

[Zach Zucker]

Is that one of those ones? I sometimes enjoy this in a way where it's obviously never harmful, where I'm like, if I'm seeing myself absolutely spiral downhill, I'm like, like, well, let's see how far this could go until it's, you know, I don't want anyone to Be any. Actually uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. But how bad can I make this moment for myself right now?

[Richard Kind]

And, like, I do it, like, subconsciously.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

But the whole time I do it, I'll just tell on myself. I'm like. I'm being weird. Huh. Weird.

[Zach Zucker]

You probably hate me and you would never want to kiss me, right?

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, I know exactly that. Which is unfortunate. Yeah. Have you ever had yourself a little bit of a crush?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Ever in your life?

[Zach Zucker]

In my life, actually, no. I've never crushed on anyone before.

[Richard Kind]

Not even a teacher?

[Zach Zucker]

No. Oh, yeah. Well, I was. Dude, I was banging teachers.

[Richard Kind]

Back to my hero.

[Zach Zucker]

I actually don't know if it's like, a fun conversation, but there was definitely one teacher in my senior year of high school who was texting me, which was inappropriate, and asked me out to dinner once. And then. Oh, and then I had the wherewithal to be like, hey, I actually don't think we should do this. This. And then I did.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Zucker]

And then he was like, we should go back to your apartment. And I was like, no, we actually should not do this.

[Richard Kind]

What?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Also, what are you doing in an apartment when you're a kiddo?

[Zach Zucker]

I know. Look, source subject. My mom unfortunately had some health issues, and this was a. An apartment that was geographically close to a hospital she was going to, but it was in the city. It's okay.

[Richard Kind]

So you were kind of living alone A little bit.

[Zach Zucker]

Well, I only went. I would sometimes just go down for fun to clear my head from all my teen angst. Yeah, no, Coach wouldn't let me go to prom. You know, like, stuff like this.

[Richard Kind]

I hate when coach says I can't rip prom.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, dude, coach, please. I'm just trying to get in there.

[Richard Kind]

I even bought a tie in a flask.

[Zach Zucker]

Dude. I actually have. One of my latest Tucker props is I have an ankle monitor that's a flask.

[Richard Kind]

God, I love that.

[Zach Zucker]

And it's full of bubble solution. And I got in trouble on a plane, and they're like, going through my bag. I'm like, I can't express enough. This is for a character. I'm a comedian. And then the woman was like, okay, tell me a joke. And I'm like, so I don't really tell jokes. And then she turned to the others and she was like, get a load of this guy. He's comedian jokes. Everyone's laughing so hard. I'm like, going to miss my flight. I'm like, this is peak embarrassment.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. They're like, oh, we got one. A bad liar.

[Zach Zucker]

Bring Me back the white supremacists, please. At least they were having fun.

[Richard Kind]

We're going to need to pat you down, so.

[Zach Zucker]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Someone's doing the. Someone's excited to see me joke over and over and over.

[Richard Kind]

I always get jazzed when I. When they. When it doesn't say clear.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah. I'm like, it's been a while. What are we going to do now?

[Richard Kind]

My right shoulder needs a rub. Oh, yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

I think I have bombs in my shoulders and in the back of my neck.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, but they're deep in there. It's high advanced technology. Another question I have here is there is a clip of somebody walking out of your show.

[Zach Zucker]

Allegedly.

[Richard Kind]

Allegedly. Was it. Was it real?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, every. All of those are real.

[Richard Kind]

That's all real.

[Zach Zucker]

I've had probably.

[Richard Kind]

You played it off. Sorry to cut you off, but you played it off so well that I thought it was planned.

[Zach Zucker]

I mean, if someone's ever going to cut me off and they. They would. I hope they would say something like this. That's complimentary, you know. No, all. All of those. Those are like the. The whole show actually was built off of, like, all these, like, flops and, you know, all these moments that did not work that were then things that became staples. Like, I have one line that I love, which is like, man, the acoustics in here, amazing. I can't hear anybody laughing right now. It's like. That was from a real deep moment of, like, 40 minutes in. In Adelaide, Australia, just dying in a sweat box down there.

[Richard Kind]

Oh.

[Zach Zucker]

And so all these moments came from, like, kind of dealing with everything going wrong so that we know how it goes. Right. And we now, thankfully, have a show that I can, like. We have, you know, 90 minutes of material we can. Can do. So anything that's not that. Having done the show 500 times now, I would love to do anything else. So when people leave, I'm like, we'll bring it on. This is fresh for me.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And I have no problem making myself look as pathetic as possible, and it makes them feel worse about this. And if I can, you know, juice as much as I can about that, and then these people leave, either hating it or being mad at me. And then also, everyone's loving it on the way out. That's like the perfect.

[Richard Kind]

It's good to kill. Kill one off. Off In. In to gain the rest.

[Zach Zucker]

Exactly. You know, for children, for friends.

[Richard Kind]

I've been. I've been saying that.

[Zach Zucker]

I've been saying that.

[Richard Kind]

I've been saying that.

[Zach Zucker]

I said that. To Shane after he hosted snl. Dude, I should kill one off, man. You get it? Makes the rest better. Beard, dude.

[Richard Kind]

Sorry, sorry about that.

[Zach Zucker]

No, I, I wonder which one it was. But I, I've had some, you know, obviously some interactions I've been a little scared of. Like one guy, I've had people like throw punches or come on stage and, and try to start a physical altercation.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Zucker]

And I'm never doing anything that's like too infl. Cut to like me doing all these like inventory things.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, I'm going to beat the fuck out of you.

[Zach Zucker]

I'll kill your first port side. I did actually say at the end of my London run this year, which was like. So I was just, I was fed up. I was so tired and I was.

[Richard Kind]

Like cranky over there.

[Zach Zucker]

I was.

[Richard Kind]

They're cranky, they're tough to get a laugh, I've heard.

[Zach Zucker]

The thing is, I love them. I think that the best audience and I think most Americans who say that are very funny and they're learning that they're not very funny.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, wowza.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. So sorry. Come at me. American comics.

[Richard Kind]

Oh my God.

[Zach Zucker]

But this one, I was like, it was my 30th time doing the show this year. Year there I was tired. I had a crazy thing happening that week. I remember when I wasn't sleeping and jet lagged and this one guy heckled me in a moment where I'm like, come on, brother. Like. And this wasn't even funny, like you've now just taken the mood down. And I was like, I'll kill you. This is a real threat. I will kill you dead. And then people were like, I brought it back as like, no, I'm just kidding. But for you, I will kill you. I was like, all right, maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I didn't handle that perfectly.

[Richard Kind]

But I mean, I've dropped a mic before and put my fists up so, you know, it's.

[Zach Zucker]

I did that with him that night. I ripped my clothes off and I was like, let's go.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, sometimes you gotta.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I was like, eat a vegetable, you British cunt. Just coming at him like this with.

[Richard Kind]

Your wonky ass teeth.

[Zach Zucker]

You won't get you bloody your cousin, mate. You bloody wanker. Toss pot. I love, I love to make fun of British.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, it's so good. And it's easy and you know, it's, it's the one group where it's okay.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh yeah. And they, and the best part is they love it.

[Richard Kind]

They do.

[Zach Zucker]

They're Suckers for pain. They're all masochists. I mean, they all eat salt and vinegar, so it's always cutting the inside of their lips, you know? And it's like your mouth is uncomfortable there all the time. It's like, oh, you can only so much fish. Yeah. You call your mom fish? Beans, dude. Beans on toast. That is wrong with you?

[Richard Kind]

That's smooth brain.

[Zach Zucker]

It's smooth brain, dude. It's like you. You want, like, goopy bread that's covered in, like, bean sauce. Like, I want that, dude. You know.

[Richard Kind]

Sludge for dinner.

[Zach Zucker]

You want sludge?

[Richard Kind]

Have some sludge.

[Zach Zucker]

For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you want boiled or potato?

[Richard Kind]

Boiled goose.

[Zach Zucker]

Boiled goose. Let's take boiled goose with king prawn sauce, please. Off, dude. Eat a vegetable.

[Richard Kind]

I. I like smush up peas for a drink. You there, Mushy peas.

[Zach Zucker]

Mushy peas. I got enough on. I can't conc. Got mushy peas. Elf bar. Got a little vape.

[Richard Kind]

Mush peas.

[Zach Zucker]

Fantastic. You know what I mean?

[Richard Kind]

They say I'm a child. I don't even know what that means.

[Zach Zucker]

I don't even know what it means, but it's wicked in it. I love them.

[Richard Kind]

So much good stuff.

[Zach Zucker]

They're perfect people.

[Richard Kind]

You. You've done fringe. How many times have you done fringe?

[Zach Zucker]

This, if I go back, will be my 11th year there. Okay.

[Richard Kind]

Wow.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Jesus Christ.

[Zach Zucker]

Which is a lot.

[Richard Kind]

That's more than a decade.

[Zach Zucker]

It's more than a decade even in. Even in metrics. So I would say it's. It's about whatever what I call over there.

[Richard Kind]

It's a long time.

[Zach Zucker]

It's like one chicken pot pie of a lifetime. You know what I'm saying? Sunday roast.

[Richard Kind]

Like a tiny grandfather clock.

[Zach Zucker]

Big Ben. Biggest Ben. Bigger, bigger. Benjamino.

[Richard Kind]

You got a Big Ben plus one, huh?

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, God. That's also. I made a joke there that I feel like I don't know. This is definitely not the audience for it, but you know how their. Their country code for phones is plus four. Four.

[Richard Kind]

Okay.

[Zach Zucker]

And we're plus one if you're doing an American number. And I was like. I did a joke there. I was like. So I went to this party with a plus one. Sorry, a plus four. Four to me and 45 of my best friends roll up. And again, no one left, so fuck you.

[Richard Kind]

That's really good.

[Zach Zucker]

I love, loved it.

[Richard Kind]

That's where my mind went when you said, we're plus one and they're plus 44. I'm like, what do they just get, like the Party's not that sick.

[Zach Zucker]

Exactly, dude. Americans rule. Americans rule.

[Richard Kind]

I'm feeling patriotic.

[Zach Zucker]

I am. For the first time in probably since Joe Biden won or, Sorry, since he lost.

[Richard Kind]

God damn.

[Zach Zucker]

God damn.

[Richard Kind]

God damn. God damn. It's going to be all right. We shake it off. We shake it off.

[Zach Zucker]

We shake it off. I love that J.D. vance guy.

[Richard Kind]

Whatever I have to say to keep this network going, Elon's cool.

[Zach Zucker]

Cool. That's gonna be the. That's gonna be the one that.

[Richard Kind]

I'm just gonna promo the show. That way Elon's cool, you never get booked again.

[Zach Zucker]

Please, honestly, take me out of this misery. It's been too long in the biz.

[Richard Kind]

Well, Big Ben plus one for people who don't know what fringe is, basically. Would you want to explain it a little bit?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, sure. Fringe Festival, specifically in Edinburgh, is the world's largest arts festival, third most ticketed event behind the Olympics in the World Cup. Is that true?

[Richard Kind]

I didn't. Oh, I love that fact. And let's keep it fake.

[Zach Zucker]

That's what we say. Yeah, that's what we say. And I'll never look it up, but it. Wonderful celebration of art. It's about 4, 000 plus shows a day. Comedy, theater, circus, magic, burlesque, dance, poetry, anything at all. And it's. Yeah, it's changed my life. It's. It's made me, I think, the showman that I am.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And I. It's introduced me to a lot of my best friends and in just opened me up to all this incredible art that's like, influenced my life.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And it's really hard. It'll kill you every day. You die like a thousand deaths a day. But similar to the UK audience, it's the ultimate humbler. Doesn't matter who you are, how many followers you have, what your team is, what your credits are. If you are not good, it will not work.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

And that is the scary and beautiful thing about it.

[Richard Kind]

And that's like a good place to, like, work on a show.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, you just. You're going, going, going, doing. And how else are you going to get better?

[Zach Zucker]

That's it. And that's the thing is you get like. So, you know, there's also other fringe festivals and let me just like, all of a sudden get serious.

[Richard Kind]

Fuck is going on?

[Zach Zucker]

I'm being disp. Right.

[Richard Kind]

Kiss Boy was crazy.

[Zach Zucker]

I went from Kiss Boy to invest in me, please.

[Richard Kind]

Right into that camera.

[Zach Zucker]

Hi. Thank you so much. My portfolio. Don't. Don't worry about it. Don't look at my taxes.

[Richard Kind]

You're going to bring up taxes?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

In this economy you can't get taxed.

[Zach Zucker]

On jewels or money they don't know about. I shouldn't have said that. The mattress I bank with Tempur pedic. It's pretty cool. It's the only bed brand I know. I wrote, actually. Okay. Two bed related ideas. One I've had an idea for years which was a mattress that you can piss into and it's a water bed, kind of full of piss. Because what do we not want to do when we wake up and have to piss is get up out of bed. So what if there was a little hole you could pee into?

[Richard Kind]

You don't have your morning catheter?

[Zach Zucker]

No. Well, I did, but the liberals Obamacare.

[Richard Kind]

You know, for us women, we're getting those ripped right from under us.

[Zach Zucker]

I know. And they're giving them to the boys. Boys?

[Richard Kind]

No, the damn boys.

[Zach Zucker]

And we're just playing volleyball with them. We're bum sentence biking. Lady catheters. Lady catheter feels like a Shakespeare character.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, that's Lady Cathedral.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, lady catheter. She's, you know, cords of piss all over her.

[Richard Kind]

She's a junkie.

[Zach Zucker]

And when will Broadway be brave enough to make a play like this?

[Richard Kind]

Oh, Mary.

[Zach Zucker]

Oh, Mary indeed. And then the other bed, I just remembered, I, I like, you know, no one ever saw this, but I like when I was a young improviser out here at 18, 19, thinking I was the funniest guy in the world, I wrote a writing packet. And for like I wrote like my SNL spec writing packet.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

No one ever saw Nova. Never sent.

[Richard Kind]

Well, you know, you know, still time.

[Zach Zucker]

It's still time.

[Richard Kind]

There's still time.

[Zach Zucker]

There's going to be 50 more seasons to go.

[Richard Kind]

Like, oh, we really wanted a 19 year old. This seemed like a 19 year old packet.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Hey, I could be anything you want.

[Zach Zucker]

Please just. If you shave my face and give me makeup and you put me in puka shells and bright clothes, I will look 19 again.

[Richard Kind]

I could do it, boy.

[Zach Zucker]

I'll be your boy. But I wrote one sketch called like Temper Cheatic and it was a mattress so soft you could have sex next to your partner and they wouldn' that's great. That's a great idea.

[Richard Kind]

That's why they advertise it that way. Right?

[Zach Zucker]

Dig it up.

[Richard Kind]

I mean, come on.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay, so we're basically, we're now co hosts and we're going to be on snl. We're, we're Weekend update right now.

[Richard Kind]

We don't even need them. I'm just kidding. I would love the opportunity. Any chance that I could get. I can't really act, but I can learn.

[Zach Zucker]

I think I'm done. I screen tested a few years ago and I think that was as far.

[Richard Kind]

No, no, that's.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm done. It's. Fuck you, Lauren. Fudge, all y'all. I'm done with this shit. Hey, you missed your chance.

[Richard Kind]

We can cut this.

[Zach Zucker]

She agrees.

[Richard Kind]

And we can cut this imposed.

[Zach Zucker]

No, this is the clip. Put this with Saudi money.

[Richard Kind]

50 years, my ass.

[Zach Zucker]

50 years, my ass. You would have gone 50 more. You cross me, you're done. I'll kill you. Okay, okay.

[Richard Kind]

That is the. The one, people. I won't. I won't. I won't piss off just yet.

[Zach Zucker]

They all know me and they would have worked with me by now if they wanted to. And it's.

[Richard Kind]

They all know me. They all know me. They know me as a smooch guy. They know me that I can do Z.

[Zach Zucker]

It was actually fun to do it because I was like doing my characters in there and everyone's doing like actual good, you know, like premise based characters. And I'm like, this is a guy who can't find his girlfriend in his apartment. And I walked in, I went, jessica. Jessica. Jessica. Well, I guess she's not in here. Yeah, exactly. And I was like, I wonder why that.

[Richard Kind]

I like that.

[Zach Zucker]

I loved it. It's good.

[Richard Kind]

You know, it shows range.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, exactly. I did an impression of a driving instructor who had a bug in his throat. Oh, yeah. It was just me going, there's some sort of bug in my throat. I was like, this is range right here.

[Richard Kind]

He's both a literal clown and a literal clown. Exactly.

[Zach Zucker]

And I was like, you know what? It's even just a win for clowns around the world that I'm even in here. And I kind of went in being like, I'm probably not gonna get this. So, like, let me just make myself laugh as hard as I could.

[Richard Kind]

Absolutely.

[Zach Zucker]

And I think I started off not great. I picked up steam. I got cocky and then threw in that guy having not prepared to do it, and then petered out at the end.

[Richard Kind]

How. How long ago was that?

[Zach Zucker]

This is 2023.

[Richard Kind]

It wasn't that long ago.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, but I'm, you know they're going to go for somebody younger and hotter. No, someone's a fatter ass than me.

[Richard Kind]

I heard that they were looking for a slim ass.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm out.

[Richard Kind]

A young by boy. That smooches so.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay. Crazy.

[Richard Kind]

That's just kind of what they've been saying on the streets. Actually, I do live in New York. I have my ear to the door.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay. Yeah. And that I am outside the venue. Let me in, please. I did. I went to one afterparty after I had auditioned. And, like, we made eye contact for a second and he just looked straight down. And I was like, yeah. That's how I expected that to go.

[Richard Kind]

I mean, that guy is like. He is. He, he, he is the little engine that could.

[Zach Zucker]

Because I was loving to see what you were gonna pick there.

[Richard Kind]

I was gonna say something about cocaine and I decided not to. I don't want to put anything out there. He probably quit in the 80s or something.

[Zach Zucker]

But yeah, he.

[Richard Kind]

So he will quit when he'll stay for the first after party, but he'll never go to the after after party.

[Zach Zucker]

No, but he's out late.

[Richard Kind]

He's out late.

[Zach Zucker]

I was impressed.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

I mean, like, I was impressed.

[Richard Kind]

I got woken up out of bed to go, and this guy's been going all week.

[Zach Zucker]

So, damn.

[Richard Kind]

I put it past him, you know?

[Zach Zucker]

Is that a dream of your to do snl?

[Richard Kind]

It has been. It has been same.

[Zach Zucker]

It was.

[Richard Kind]

And I, I, I still would do it. Of course. I, I would love.

[Zach Zucker]

Who am I kidding? So would I.

[Richard Kind]

He takes it all back.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Matter of fact, you need both of us.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. It's a two for one deal. And if we find out that one of us had to sell the other person out, I give you permission to do that to get on there.

[Richard Kind]

And one thing about me, I'm a loyal.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

So I would never do that.

[Zach Zucker]

Unless. Unless it really is true. Unless that is the only way. Then you have my full permission to do that.

[Richard Kind]

Absolutely not. We come as a package. I don't know why I keep cutting to camera. It's just.

[Zach Zucker]

It feels right.

[Richard Kind]

It feels right. And you're gonna. You're gonna be sorry if you don't.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Okay.

[Zach Zucker]

And that's a threat.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Legally.

[Richard Kind]

Because I can do Boston accent.

[Zach Zucker]

Huh.

[Richard Kind]

I can do girl who forces a Boston accent. I could do girl who doesn't even know who she really is. So does a Boston accent.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Yeah. I was like, there it is. Do you know the reality show star Bo, Boston Rob?

[Richard Kind]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Zach Zucker]

I love Boston.

[Richard Kind]

I don't know him personally, but he, he seems to be crushing traders, right?

[Zach Zucker]

He is, dude. I love him. I'm a server. I got into Survivor last year. My friend. Shout out to my one of My best friends. Good Maddie who lives in Paris. I love you.

[Richard Kind]

This is actually great. This is a new segment I like to call shout out. 60 seconds. You have 60 seconds to do as many shout outs as you want.

[Zach Zucker]

Let's go.

[Richard Kind]

Okay, wait, wait. This just has to be prompt. Ready one. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lift up here. Right. And. And, and a one and a two and. Holy Go.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay, here's the shout outs. Shout out to good Maddie. I love you gm. We the greatest. Shout out to Arena. Shout out to Sharkman. Shout out to Dylan. Buff up Dylan Brand. We got Johnny on the beat. Bugs. We got vgo. Stefan, what the hell's going on down there? Shout out to my best friend Brandon. Shout out to my grandpa Marv. I love you, dog. You rock.

[Richard Kind]

Still kicking.

[Zach Zucker]

He's still kicking.

[Richard Kind]

Sorry.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah. Shout out grandma Lila. Lila Beck. Love you. Shout out grandma you uni. Everybody in the gang. Rest in peace, Grandpa, grandpa Howie, Papa Howie. I'm fit a papa Howie. One day that's gonna be something I'm gonna do. I'll give it to my little brother. Hey, Davey, good to see you. Who else do I want to shout out? Shout out Kevin, thank you for giving me millions of dollars in the future. Shout out Sharkman again. I love that guy. Oh God. Who this is so shout out to my. My. He's never gonna see this. My clown Philippe. I love you. And Michko and Carlo and Tom. Tom, Tom. And Shout out to the big man. Shout out to the big man.

[Richard Kind]

Love you G. Just in time.

[Zach Zucker]

Wow.

[Richard Kind]

Wow.

[Zach Zucker]

What an interesting list to see. That's who I went for.

[Richard Kind]

I love that. That was a on the Cus segment.

[Zach Zucker]

Wow. And that will get cut.

[Richard Kind]

No, I love that. I think that's going to be great, dude. Good stuff.

[Zach Zucker]

Love it. Damn. There's so many other people I want to shout out another minute.

[Richard Kind]

It's too bad. It's too damn bad.

[Zach Zucker]

Bleep out the rest of them.

[Richard Kind]

They're going to hate you.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Shout out to Mary.

[Richard Kind]

Jesus Christ. What did I just say?

[Zach Zucker]

I'm sorry. I'm a rule pusher. You know, I'm a smooch guy.

[Richard Kind]

Well, I hate a rule follower. Those are people who love Star Wars.

[Zach Zucker]

I don't play by the rules. Have you ever seen a Star Wars?

[Richard Kind]

No.

[Zach Zucker]

Me neither.

[Richard Kind]

Oh my God.

[Zach Zucker]

Fucking go, dude.

[Richard Kind]

Oh my God.

[Zach Zucker]

Get a life, dude.

[Richard Kind]

What a loser.

[Zach Zucker]

Dude. Like I say that like have you seen all 40 seasons or 40 something seasons of Survivor? I would never watch Star wars but God, do I love Boston Rob.

[Richard Kind]

That's a real hero.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Yeah. Shout out, Boston Rob. I did it.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, my God, I'm gonna kill you. Why, I oughta. One iota. That's how you can get a ticket to SNL is the only way I'm ever gonna get in.

[Zach Zucker]

One iota.

[Richard Kind]

One iota.

[Zach Zucker]

One iot. It's an app.

[Richard Kind]

This isn't an ad or anything, but if you. If you live in LA or New York and sometimes Dallas, I think you can go. Really?

[Zach Zucker]

I don't know. I was just trying to. I was just trying to. Yes. And amp up my queen.

[Richard Kind]

Over here, you can get tickets to Live. Like, live tapings. So that's what I do all the time. I had a ticket to. Well, this doesn't matter. I did have a ticket to Wendy Williams for her last show and I missed it.

[Zach Zucker]

Damn. What were you doing?

[Richard Kind]

I was. I overslept. Yeah, it started at 5 in the morning.

[Zach Zucker]

I heard you were absolutely piping down 100 models.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, no, that's what they said they.

[Zach Zucker]

Sent out to the press.

[Richard Kind]

I got the models that used to be Abercrombie models, but now they've really let themselves go.

[Zach Zucker]

Like, let themselves go. They're free.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, no, they're free. It's not about looks to me, really.

[Zach Zucker]

What was the more of.

[Richard Kind]

Of a. If you're a pompous ass. Yeah, that's what I like.

[Zach Zucker]

Or if you're trying to pump this ass. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Someone said to me once, and I didn't know what to say. I made that up. I thought that'd be funnier.

[Richard Kind]

My brain working. Not.

[Zach Zucker]

My brain works in knots.

[Richard Kind]

That's the wind between my ears. Damn.

[Zach Zucker]

That's kind of. Also, there's a sailor theme with the knots there. And I don't know what it means, but I think knots is a sailor term.

[Richard Kind]

Grace O'Melly was an Irish. Irish pirate. She up my Google search.

[Zach Zucker]

Really?

[Richard Kind]

I can't stand that.

[Zach Zucker]

Rocks.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

Zack Zucker was an unsuccessful clown. Sorry, is.

[Richard Kind]

Wait, so you went to clown school? Can we touch on this?

[Zach Zucker]

Fully went to clown school. We could. We can actually love on this. We don't have to just touch on this. We could love on this.

[Richard Kind]

You. You're actually the second clown I've ever.

[Zach Zucker]

Interviewed who was number one.

[Richard Kind]

Stevo.

[Zach Zucker]

That rocks.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

I actually wanted my Bar Mitzvah theme as a kid to be Zach ass. And my parents said that is awesome. Right? Wasn't that awesome? It was Z Ball, just generic A bunch of lines.

[Richard Kind]

Bunch of kids going.

[Zach Zucker]

I thought that was pixy ducks having. Having, like their first dance like this. Just absolutely vibrating. I did. I. But I had my own jackass group.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, really?

[Zach Zucker]

In middle school. Okay, I don't want to.

[Richard Kind]

No, go back.

[Zach Zucker]

Go shout out to Jordan and Stevie and Schiller and Danny and Tristan. The gang we were in S.O.S. save our souls.

[Richard Kind]

A little emo pop group, of course.

[Zach Zucker]

And I was obviously the of the group. Like, I. I talked so much and I never did anything cool.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, you better light your ass on fire. Can you believe this? Shave your eyebrow.

[Zach Zucker]

People did, man. Mike Schiller, shout him out, man. He branded himself my friend. Danny jumped off a house into a. A plastic. Like a plastic, kind of like kids, like, play fort and like, fell through the roof of that. And then I dropped a basketball onto Shiller's Nuts off of a bridge and.

[Richard Kind]

See, you're always at the cop out.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Like, yeah, I'll throw the basketball.

[Zach Zucker]

Exactly. Because I was. I was sporty guys. So I'm like, well, let me be Sporty Spice here.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, of course. Yeah, I have to shine.

[Zach Zucker]

And I was also like. This was like my earliest probably days of me being like a producer was like, me just like hyping this up. Like, yo, after school, Robbie's gonna backflip off the garbage can.

[Richard Kind]

Just you wait.

[Zach Zucker]

Just you wait. It's gonna be lit.

[Richard Kind]

We're about to blow your mind.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I was like the hype man for the group. Group who then would fall to the back and then take the credit for the crazy stuff.

[Richard Kind]

That is perfect.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

That's basically what Johnny Knoxville does.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. Except he also is pretty hardcore. And I lack. I lack the hardcore ness of Knoxville.

[Richard Kind]

Do you have any of those tapes by chance?

[Zach Zucker]

I actually asked Jordan for them not too long ago because I talked about this with somebody and I was like, I know he has them somewhere. And it was like old. It was like early imovie when this came out.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Zach Zucker]

So we had those, like, you know, the electricity and like, it's like moving around and it was like, SOS Save our souls.

[Richard Kind]

Imovie is a gateway to a long lasting career.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, school shooters. But yes, Clown School was in a small village in France called Etomp. And ETOM loosely translates to stamp. And so my company and show, Stamp Town, is named after this clown school.

[Richard Kind]

Oh.

[Zach Zucker]

And I loved it. It was the best experience of my life. I met some of my best friends there, like my best friend, Tom Walker. Hi, Tom. Happy, happy life Happy life, bud.

[Richard Kind]

He doesn't have a birthday anytime soon. He's just celebrating.

[Zach Zucker]

No, I'm just celebrating his life. Good to see you, bud. And yeah, I met my comedy partners, Johnny and vgo there, and I met a lot of some, you know, just a lot of great people in this school. And it was like 75 of the weirdest people from 45 different countries who feel like they want to perform and have something to share, but like, nothing works for them because we're all idiots. And you know, I learned how to like, cook and take care of myself and I learned a few languages and.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, I was going to say with language barriers or you just. You find. You find love in the heart of.

[Zach Zucker]

You find love in the heart of Mim. You find a little bit of these and that.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, What Elon should have done.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah. You want to give your love to. When you go like this or like, if you did like this, I would have loved it.

[Richard Kind]

Like, that is thrustful love. And you know all about that.

[Zach Zucker]

Brother. Brother. Yo, they call me Thrusty McNuts.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, put that on the bottom. There's a lot of things they call.

[Zach Zucker]

You and I've heard them all and they're not great.

[Richard Kind]

No, I think you're fantastic.

[Zach Zucker]

I'm kind of Mr. Nickname.

[Richard Kind]

No. Oh, at least you're not giving yourself a nickname. I, I don't believe in that.

[Zach Zucker]

I've never done that. I. For all of my close friends, I have nicknames for all that.

[Richard Kind]

Oh yeah, I love giving a nickname, but you can't like walk around like, I can't wait. You guys got to call me Steamy or something like that, you know, like, I'mma steam it down. Steam it up. What do you think?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, what do you think? Haha. Plug me and I'm gonna be hot. Yeah, Tap in. Tap in.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. They also call me Sauna. But like, you pick.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, you pick. Yeah, cuz I'm. I, I hope you kind of sweat out them toxins. I'm a positive influence. Haha.

[Richard Kind]

Let me get a me pick too.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I'm excited for us to find nicknames for each other.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, this will be fun. This will be good. I'll think on it for the next couple weeks and come back to you in. In Austin, do you know we.

[Zach Zucker]

We have a rule. We can't speak until then.

[Richard Kind]

God forbid.

[Zach Zucker]

I was nervous. I sent you a message on Tik Tok just being like, hey, I'm so excited to be here. And I was nervous and I was like, is that like Lame of me to do that, but I was, I was really excited and I wanted you to know.

[Richard Kind]

And I don't, for whatever reason, I don't get notifications on Tik Tok.

[Zach Zucker]

Bad for your brain to do that.

[Richard Kind]

I post and I go, bye. I go, bye. Bye. I try not to. To. I've been in trying not to look at comments.

[Zach Zucker]

It's hard.

[Richard Kind]

But I will scroll.

[Zach Zucker]

Of course I see. I would say almost all of them at some point. It's like I'll go months without looking and I'll be like, wait a minute, I haven't looked for months. Let me see.

[Richard Kind]

Like, I want to feel something, whether it's good or bad.

[Zach Zucker]

You suck. This is comedy now. Damn, boy. Yeah, it's like, dude, Gucci Mane would hate you.

[Richard Kind]

No, that's not true.

[Zach Zucker]

People say it. People say it.

[Richard Kind]

Those rat bastards.

[Zach Zucker]

Those rat bastards, dude. But yeah, it's a, I think from clown school has taught me to have like a nice, you know, tough skin into all this stuff. And, you know, you just got to try and laugh at it. And it's like, you know, I've gotten bad reviews for shows in my life, but like, the cool thing is, is at least when I do a character where it's like a bad comedian, anything is good. And so we had, when we had first, like kind of debuted the show in Edinburgh, kind of tying this all together in 2019, I got mostly good reviews, mostly four and five star reviews, but I ended up getting a five, four and a half, four, three and a half, three, two and a half, two and then a one and a half and a one. And when I got this one star review, it read like, I, this guy's wife.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, wow.

[Zach Zucker]

Which is not true. But everyone's like, what did you do? How I just fingered her with my dick blasted. I think you're leaving that part out. Yeah, dude, I, I, we actually took it. I flavor blasted her. I went goldfish style.

[Richard Kind]

She one of them hot Cheeto girls.

[Zach Zucker]

Yes, hot Cheeto girls flavor for you. Yeah, exactly. And it was just once I got the one star review, we started posting all these like videos of me like crying and being sad. And I sold out my whole run and then got all these additional dates. And so that's been the one thing of like when I get a bad review, at least it's Tucker. I'm like, awesome. Yeah.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah. It's nice to be able to hide behind a facade.

[Zach Zucker]

Exactly, exactly. Then I'm like, when? Then myself. And people don't like it. I'M like, well, this. This hurts my feelings. Actually, I'm. I'm just joking. This is a character. Still.

[Richard Kind]

I am crazy.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. You think I'm going to show you the real me? You think I'm going to give it to you guys?

[Richard Kind]

You idiot. I've been playing you.

[Zach Zucker]

I've been playing y'all my life. A literal movie. Get over it. Straight up.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah.

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[Richard Kind]

I would stay for everybody. I just have to catch a flight. It's the only one out. I have to go to the Super Bowl.

[Zach Zucker]

Damn, that sucks.

[Richard Kind]

I know.

[Zach Zucker]

I feel bad for you.

[Richard Kind]

I know, I know, I know. The way I said it, it was so. Douchebag.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, it's cool. I actually have to go. I have to go somewhere really sick. But I. I can't even actually talk about it. I signed. I signed the NBA, so I can't even talk about it.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, all right, all right. You going with Shaquille O'Neal?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, yeah. I'm going to Shaq's house to watch the super bowl.

[Richard Kind]

No, that's DJ Diesel to you.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay. DJ Diesel. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry, Mr. Diesel, if we will. Someone's called him Shaquille and I love that.

[Richard Kind]

What is it?

[Zach Zucker]

They called him Shaquille. They call him Shaqwe.

[Richard Kind]

Shaquille. Shaquille.

[Zach Zucker]

Shaquille.

[Richard Kind]

Shaquille.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah, it seems like. Oh, I do the Claire type guy.

[Richard Kind]

Shaqu. Good to see you. How could you do this forever?

[Zach Zucker]

I feel like I made a pretty epic claim to be a co host.

[Richard Kind]

I think you totally, like, win. I Got to like talk to the guys about this, but I'm in.

[Zach Zucker]

I don't know if this is real or part of a bit, but I would do. I would literally do it.

[Richard Kind]

I'm not sure either at this point. It was going. It was supposed to be a bit and now I'm like, dude, we got it.

[Zach Zucker]

So I'm having a lot of fun. Let me tell you. I'm easy to work with. I have no demands. And I. I don't know what a.

[Richard Kind]

Writer is it's going to be based out of.

[Zach Zucker]

I hardly even know it.

[Richard Kind]

Ryder. That's all you've been doing.

[Zach Zucker]

Ryder Smash cut us. Absolutely. So hard in front of all this.

[Richard Kind]

Go see Sweethearts on hbo. Max. It's just Max now.

[Zach Zucker]

It's just Max. Which sucks because I was like, I really wanted that HBO in front of there, you know.

[Richard Kind]

You were sucking face. Maxing.

[Zach Zucker]

I was, I was. Look, I'll suck face for hbo. I'm not going to suck a face for HBO for just for Max.

[Richard Kind]

I mean, come on now.

[Zach Zucker]

No, no, no.

[Richard Kind]

So this will be based on New York and you sometimes crash at Richard Ky's house. Can you share that?

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. I live with my roommate in New York City. Is Richard Kind. Richard. Very, very kind. He saw my shows earlier in 2024 and then offered me a place in his. In his apartment. And so I live with him and I love him so much. And I have nothing but incredible nice things to say about my incredible roommate.

[Richard Kind]

And he seems like a great guy.

[Zach Zucker]

He is.

[Richard Kind]

I've heard some people have it all wrong.

[Zach Zucker]

He's. He's got everything and he is so fun to me. He cracks me up. He's made me laugh some of the hardest ever in my life and he's given me wonderful. This is. This is just the only moment I'll be sincere here other than vying for your co host spot is. Is just saying nothing but amazing things.

[Richard Kind]

Docket. I've already sent an email when you weren't looking talking about Mr. Kind.

[Zach Zucker]

Yeah. When I'm just off looking over here incriminating myself with the Saudi royals.

[Richard Kind]

So yeah, I think me, you and Kind will get dinner when you're in New York sometime. And he's your manager of.

[Zach Zucker]

He's basically. He's my. He's my momager but dad style.

[Richard Kind]

Oh, got you.

[Zach Zucker]

Okay.

[Richard Kind]

And I picture him as a roommate just walking around Ebernet just screwed style with like a candle and a. In a long nightgown. And that's just how I view him until we meet in real life until we discuss business over lamb. Yeah, that's how you do it.

[Zach Zucker]

I love that.

[Richard Kind]

That's a weird way to end it.

[Zach Zucker]

But I got to go to the Super Bowl.

[Richard Kind]

Yeah, I sound like a douche rag. When will Super Bowl.

[Zach Zucker]

When will NFL. When will NFL take a risk, make super duper bowl? That's what I want to know.

[Richard Kind]

I want to be the first. The first stand up halftime. Nobody would laugh, let me tell you.

[Zach Zucker]

Nobody would like this at all.

[Richard Kind]

Nobody.

[Zach Zucker]

My dream is to do the halftime show. Actually hold. This is my last brag. I have a dance agent and I. I love to dance. And yeah, suck it to all the other dancers who I'm who think I suck. Whatever. I can go out for a guy who looks like he can't dance but has a little bit of rhythm and this. And my agent was like, do you want to audition for the suit Super Bowl? And I was like, give me like a few years. Because rather than having this just be a story I tell on a podcast or on stage, I want you to be like, oh my God, is dancer 402 out of 403? Is that Zack sucker shaking ass on the 30 yard line?

[Richard Kind]

I would know that ass from anyway.

[Zach Zucker]

Wait, turn around. Yeah, I know that one.

[Richard Kind]

I know that game very well.

[Zach Zucker]

Wait a second. Hold on. Turn on Max for a second. Is that smooching ass guy's ass?

[Richard Kind]

By golly. You got it.

[Zach Zucker]

You got him. Shout out Richard Kine. Shout out nph. Shout out the gang. Shout out Joy Dardano. Shout out Mary. Shout out Seb. Shout out Seb. Seb. Does the lights shout out Lily. I love you, Lily. And sorry. That's me just passing through by the haters.

[Richard Kind]

Sorry, Lauren Michaels.

[Zach Zucker]

Sorry, Lauren. I still will do it. I will.

[Richard Kind]

I still with you.

[Zach Zucker]

I with you, dog.

[Richard Kind]

I could do this forever. But we got to go.

[Zach Zucker]

We got to go.

[Richard Kind]

Much love, my man.

[Zach Zucker]

Much love.

[Richard Kind]

This is well being. Hey, I'll have my people call your people.

[Zach Zucker]

The Jews and The Bostonians?

[Richard Kind]

No, Mr. Kind.

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[T Mobile Customer]

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[Grace O'Malley]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer At T Mobile, VIP means y ou check out the VIP treatment at T mobile.com benefits.