← DISGRACELAND
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- [00:02]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
This is exactly right.
- [00:11]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Double Elvis.
- [00:14]
Amazon Commercial Voice
Amazon presents Laura vs Fruit Flies. Hide your bananas. These winged demons came to your kitchen to do two things. Eat fruit and. And they're all out of fruit. But thankfully, Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies. Your baby boom ends here. Save the everyday with Amazon.
- [00:46]
Liberty Mutual Commercial Voice (Doug)
And Doug. There's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.
- [00:56]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird.
- [00:58]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
What is.
- [00:58]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Is this your first date?
- [00:59]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Oh, no.
- [01:00]
Liberty Mutual Commercial Voice (Doug)
We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird.
- [01:06]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
- [01:08]
Liberty Mutual Commercial Voice (Doug)
Anyways, get a quote@libertymutual.com or with your local agent.
- [01:11]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Liberty.
- [01:11]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Liberty. Liberty.
- [01:13]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Liberty.
- [01:14]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
Your 20s can be so exciting, but they can also be really overwhelming, confusing, and honestly, just kind of lonely. May is mental health awareness month, and the psychology of your twenties is breaking down the science behind the biggest roadblocks we face.
- [01:30]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 1
I was six years into my career, the 80 hour weeks, and just the first one in, the last one out, and I ended up burning out.
- [01:36]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 2
There was a large chunk of my 20s that I, like, was just so wanting to, like, be out of that phase, out of my skin. And I just, like, really regret not living in the present more.
- [01:45]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [01:57]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Disgraceland is a production of Double Elvis. The stories about Christina Grimmie are heartbreaking. She was murdered by a crazed fan. Stalked, hunted, gunned down in cold blood. She was a rising star, and at 22 years old, she had already gone viral on YouTube and finished third in a season of NBC's singing competition show the Voice. But despite her public image as a pop singer, Christina prepared for her own concerts by listening to thrash metal at full volume. She appreciated great music and aspired to be someone who would make great music for the rest of her life. Unlike that music I played for you at the top of the show, that wasn't great music. That was a preset loop from my melotron called heartbreaking thrash mk1. I played you that loop because I can't afford the rights to Once dance by Drake featuring Wizkid and Kyla. And why would I play you that specific slice of champagne, papy cheese. Could I afford it? Because that was the number one song in America on June 10, 2016. And that was the day Christina Grimmie was gruesomely shot and killed after her show in Orlando, Florida during a meet and greet with her adoring fans. On this episode, a crazed fan, a singer on the come up, a murder, and the viral TV star Christina Grimmie. I'm Jake Brennan and this is Disgrace. 15 year old Christina Grimmie sat in her New Jersey home watching the second hand of the clock take another slow lap around the dial. Her eyes and thumbs ached from hours playing Zelda. Not that she would admit it, and just like she wouldn't admit that she was a little tired of listening to albums by her beloved Metallica and System of the Down. But right now it seemed as though there was nothing to do but watch the time tick away. It was the summer of 2009, and like many other kids in America, Christina Grimmie was not only bored, she was constantly being reminded that she was bored. The ticking of the family clock, the rhythmic shuffle of sprinklers on lush green lawns, the languid drip of a leaky faucet coming from an otherwise quiet kitchen. Every tick, every sprinkle, every drip. The announcement of one more second passing with a glacier's pace. Christina leaned back on the couch, grabbed the remote and turned on the television. A local news report flickered to life. The young anchor was recounting the capture of the so called bicycle Bandit, a bank robber who wore a mask and used a 10 speed as his getaway vehicle. His most recent score, a TD bank in Voorhees, just minutes from Christina's family home in Marlton. The cops had followed the bandit's trail and discovered a hideout. Not so deep in the Jersey woods. An unassuming spot were the bank robber's bike, a bag stuffed with cash, a sweatshirt, a silver handgun. And that mask now had him dead to rights. Christina turned off the TV and did what she usually did when she got this board, she sang. She walked back to her room and sat down at the Yamaha keyboard set up there and her back to the wall where a Sonic the Hedgehog poster and hung at a slight tilt. She was just an American girl raised on promises and you know how the rest of that goes. But she could relate to her peers and vice versa. She had ambitions just like anybody, including many other girls her age who enjoyed singing in their bedrooms. But Christina's natural voice was a cut above the rest. And it was that voice that inspired her friends to encourage Christina to do something that would ensure that the summer of 2009 would be her last boring summer ever. Because that was the summer that Christina Grimmie began uploading her performances at her keyboard to her YouTube channel. And that was the summer in which one of those performances, a cover of Miley Cyrus's Party in the usa, went viral. I'm talking millions of views, thousands of likes. And as the views and the likes continued to amass, so did the seconds and the minutes and then the hours. And suddenly, time was no longer crawling. Time was moving fast. For a 15 year old, Christina Grimmie was surprisingly shrewd with how she grew her online fan base. The natural impulse for a singer, especially at a young age, is to perform the kind of music that you love. But instead of singing covers of songs by Metallica or the other thrash metal bands that Christina enjoyed, Christina instead chose pop songs that were already successful on the charts and popular with her age group. Songs by Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift, and the Jonas Brothers. And then, as her fame continued to blossom, and as she started to command the attention of music managers and A and R scouts and record labels, she further endeared herself to her adoring crowd by refusing to compromise her values. She declined any offer that insisted she dress more provocatively than her customary outfit, which often consisted of a sharp, angled emo haircut and a few choice accessories like a studded belt, studded bracelets, and a simple cross around her neck. She was humble and grounded and kept that way by her supportive parents and by her older brother Marcus, who would soon begin to accompany her on guitar and later would become her tour manager when she found herself competing on the national stage. To understand Christina Grimmie's quick rise online is to understand the shifting dynamics of the music industry circa the late 2000s and early 2010s. By October of 2008, less than a year before Christina began uploading her performances to YouTube, the platform was attracting 100 million American viewers per day. That's more than two thirds of all the Internet users in the country at that time. And that doesn't even take into account global data. The A and R gatekeeping system at the record label is the way that the music industry had operated for decades, in which label reps would discover bands and artists performing at a club or a bar and then invest money and time into their growth before the masses got to hear them. That was quickly falling by the wayside. In 2008, when YouTube came along, it accidentally launched a massive Open audition system where artists could create their own audiences and form an emotional bond with that audience without the assistance of a record label's traditional scouting and promotional methods. But with one viral video leading to the next, it did not take long before the music industry took notice. In the case of Christina Grimmie, her videos were seen by the mother of Disney Channel star and singer Selena Gomez, who passed them on to her husband, Selena's stepfather, Brian Taffey, a professional music manager. With the help of Brian Taffey's management skills and support dates on Selena Gomez's tour, Christina built upon her organic online fanbase of teens and young adults who all saw themselves in her. Not that her fans fancied themselves big time pop stars in the making like Christina did. They were grounded, humble like Christina was. Christina was loyal to her parents and to her older brother and to the millions now clicking, liking and subscribing. And for Christina, the reach could only grow because unlike a one off show at a club, videos posted on YouTube existed in perpetuity. So you're always racking up new hits, new shares and new followers from Freehold to Tacoma, from Evanston to Amarillo, all the way to Florida, where years later, after Christina's family had pulled up roots from New Jersey and moved to Los Angeles so she could pursue her career, and after she defied expectations by self releasing her own albums and after she earned a spot on that national stage via the NBC singing competition the voice, her YouTube videos were discovered by a man in St. Petersburg, Florida named Kevin Loibel. Kevin fell in love with Christina just like the rest of the country did. Only his love for her quickly turned into something else. And once it did, time. For Christina Grimmie, the grounded, humble, uncompromising singer, time was no longer moving fast or slow. Time became something that was simply borrowed.
- [12:02]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.
- [12:17]
Family Secrets Witness/Storyteller
And just then, we felt the plane turn in the air. So much so that the bags that were under people's seats just kind of flew into the aisle.
- [12:27]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Each week, we dive headfirst into the complex power of secrecy. How it shapes our identities and relationships and how it ultimately can reveal to us our truest selves.
- [12:38]
Family Secrets Witness/Storyteller
My daughter, she's pretending she doesn't know, but is trying to cook and feed me and keep me alive because I wasn't eating anything. And me pretending like everything was fine.
- [12:47]
He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him.
- [12:54]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [13:02]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
May is mental health awareness month, and your 20s, they can feel like a lot. On the psychology of youf 20s podcast, we unpack the anxiety and the overthinking, the heartbreak, the identity crisis, all of it that comes with being in your 20s. Because if you've ever thought, is anybody else feeling this way? They definitely are.
- [13:25]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 1
I feel like my 20s was a process of checking off everything that I was not good at to get to what I was good at. Oftentimes, we take everything a little bit too seriously, and we get lost in things that we later on decide weren't even important important to us to begin with.
- [13:41]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 2
There was a large chunk of my 20s that I, like, was just so wanting to, like, be out of that phase, out of my skin. And I just, like, really regret not living in the present more.
- [13:50]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
Each week, we break down the science behind what you're going through and give you real tools to navigate it. Your 20s aren't about having it all figured out. They're about understanding yourself just a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [14:09]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
This season on Dear Chelsea, with me, Chelsea Handler. We have some fantastic guests like Emilia Clarke.
- [14:15]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
When, like, young people come up to
- [14:17]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 2
me and they want to be an
- [14:18]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
actor or whatever, my first thing is always, can you think of anything else
- [14:22]
Family Secrets Witness/Storyteller
that you can do?
- [14:24]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
Rather be disappointed in. Do that Dennis Leary.
- [14:29]
Dear Chelsea Guest (Sleepwalking Story)
I wake up and I'm hitting him in the head with a water bottle. And Bruce Jenner is on the aisle in a karate stance, like, he's about to attack me, like, making karate noises, and his entire the Kardashian family over there. Everybody's going, and the air marshal's trying to grab my arms and screaming. And I immediately know that I've been sleepwalking.
- [14:50]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
David Oyelowo.
- [14:52]
Dear Chelsea Guest (David Oyelowo Commentator)
I love this podcast. Whether it's therapy or relationships or religion or sex or addiction or you just go straight for the guts guy.
- [15:01]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
Branham. So, anyway, Nicole Kidman broke up with Keith Urban.
- [15:05]
Dear Chelsea Guest (David Oyelowo Commentator)
Being half of a country couple was always a hat she was gonna wear, not like, a life she was gonna lead.
- [15:12]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
Oh, interesting. I like that. Did you practice that on your way over. Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger Things, Tana Mongeau, Camilla Marron, Carrie, Kenny Silver, and more. Listen to these episodes of Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [15:37]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Despite the two Greek words from which it's derived, the term photophobia does not actually denote the fear of light. Photophobia, or light aversion, as it's sometimes called, is defined as an abnormal sensitivity to light, especially of the eyes. According to the National Library of Medicine, photography photophobia is a debilitating symptom in which exposure of the eye to light induces and or exacerbates pain. Photophobia is also very common. It affects around 20% of the general population, with some studies indicating that the number is even higher than that. And those who suffer from photophobia squint or blink often. They tend to avoid sunny days altogether, instead opting to remain inside until dusk. Like Kevin Loibel, 26 years old, of St. Petersburg, Florida, when he wasn't working a shift at the local Best Buy weekends, mostly part time, Kevin's photophobia kept him hidden away in his bedroom, the house where he lived with his father and his brother. The windows were hermetically sealed. Heavy curtains were reinforced with strips of aluminum foil. Not one sliver of sunlight found its way inside. But Kevin's room was not pitch black. It was illuminated by the glow of his computer screen. These days, the contents of what appeared on his screen were, predictably all the same. And it wasn't porn or sports or Call of Duty playthroughs, as you might imagine for a 20 something reclusive loner type. The videos were of Christina Grimmie, Christina Grimmie's YouTube channel Christina Grimmie's social media accounts Clips of Christina Grimmie performing on the Voice in which she'd appeared two years earlier in 2014 as a contestant on season six. Kevin was catching up on years of Christina Grimmie. He hadn't been in on the Ground Floor like most millions of others back in 2009, but you didn't need a ground floor when you had the Internet. It was all here, preserved like a memory, a dream that you could recall anytime you wanted to. And Kevin was watching her now, specifically a clip of her blind audition for the celebrity coaches of the Voice. Christina was singing the Miley Cyrus song Wrecking Ball. It was a powerhouse performance and Kevin could feel the connection almost as if he was in the room with her, sitting in one of those giant chairs that engulfed the show's four celebrity coaches they call the stars of the Voice coaches and not judges because their role is to recognize a talented singer and then coach them to success throughout the season. With any luck, they'll coach their own unknown singer all the way to the grand prize, $100,000 in a recording contract. And the whole process begins with what's called a blind audition, where the coaches listen with their backs turned to the contestant. The idea being that a coach's decision to throw their hat into the ring and offer to work with the contestant is based solely on the contestant's voice. It's right there in the title of the show. But, you know, I digress. Kevin, though. He watched this whole thing vicariously through the eyes of each coach, their faces lighting up one by one. As Christina Grimmie sang, they slammed their hands down on giant staple sized buttons, which caused their oversized chairs to spin around to put them face to face with Christina's raw talent. First it was Usher, then Shakira, then Adam Levine, and finally Blake Shelton. All four of the judges were in awe, all four of them feeling the same thing that Kevin Loygel was feeling. But for Kevin, the feeling wasn't just awe. It was something else. Something as dark as his bedroom in St. Petersburg. Obsession. Kevin kept watching, and he was heartbroken when he later in the season, Cristina did not receive enough votes from viewers at home. She finished in third place overall. But he wasn't surprised when Christina's coach, Adam Levine from Maroon 5, offered her a spot on his own record label. He wasn't surprised either when she turned Lavine down to sign with Island Records, the one time home of U2 Grace Jones and of course, home of Bob Marley. And then when Island Records dropped Christina before she could release a full length album. Kevin wasn't surprised at that either. Because Kevin, like many of Christina's fans, knew that she hadn't failed. Instead, he knew that she'd refused to compromise. She wasn't going to become something she wasn't just to make a buck for somebody else. There was a purity to Christina. Kevin could see that her purity was bright. It warmed his face like the rays of the sun. But unlike the sun, it caused him no pain. Christina was the one light that shone on Kevin Loibel's dark and anonymous world. A world in which he lurked like so many others while Christina Grimmie livestreamed on Twitch, playing Super Smash Brothers on Nintendo and chatting it up with fans. Just like YouTube had changed the way artists were discovered, YouTube and Twitch and the Internet at large were now changing how an Artist connected with her fans. There was no mystery left in celebrity. It was all out there. A twitch stream could feel like an intimate hang, like you were right there in the room with the person that you were obsessed with, joking along and laughing and asking questions that Christina Grimmie would actually answer. Right there in the moment. The walls were breaking down. And for someone desperately looking for connection, a loner, perhaps a recluse who only worked weekends, this experience had a potential to feel more real than it actually was. After all, it was 2016. Nobody met at a bar anymore. People found each other. Online dating apps, Instagram, DMs. So Twitch streams. Why not? So went the thinking for Kevin Loibel. He navigated to Christina's website, taking note of her recently announced tour dates. She was playing Orlando in June, just a few months from now, and the drive wasn't bad. About 100 miles from St. Pete. And even better, Christina was hosting a meet and greet after the show. That sealed it. Kevin bought a ticket. And when the date arrived June 10, he made the trek. He knew what he was gonna do. Walk right up to her, profess his love. And then the light that was Christina Grimmie would shine on his mole like existence. Her light was already shining right now. Like she was there in the room with him. Like he was tearing down the curtains from his windows, ripping off the pieces of aluminum foil that had blocked the sun. But light reveals the state of things. The dust, the dirt, the filth. Then there was him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and thought about Christina looking at him the way he'd just been looking at her. First impressions were everything. His poor eyesight, his thinning hair, his weight. It was decided Kevin had to make some changes by 2016. Two years after failing to win the big prize in the Voice, Christina Grimmie had continued to nurture her career with such care and caution that it suggested a level of maturity far beyond her 22 years. The bump she'd received on national television was nice at the time, but it was easily forgotten. By the time a champion was crowned and the next season started up, Christina was still able to do what she loved. She was out there making music and playing shows. But she was now doing it on a much smaller scale than she'd once imagined. Yet the smaller scale didn't bother. In fact, it was by design. She could have bet it all, pushed her chips in on the deal with Island. But she knew that it wasn't the right fit. Not now. She was only 22, and there was time or so on the thinking Marcus Grimmie, her older brother, her collaborator, her guitarist, and now her tour manager, kept Christina focused and kept her honest. Marcus knew the kind of talent that his sister possessed. He knew that it was his job to hang back just outside the spotlight and play the supporting role. The shows these days were less produced, which required less overhead, just a backing track over which Marcus played guitar and Christina sang. They were the tour opener for a group called before youe Exit, a trio of brothers who began playing while still in their church youth group. But from Philadelphia to New York and Chicago to Toronto, Christina was the altar at which fans worshiped. Marcus would lean back and dig into his guitar, beaming with pride, pride at all the attention his sister drew from city to city. The fans sang along to all the songs from her latest ep, the independently released side A, including the songs she'd written on her own. But they didn't even know the half of it. They didn't know what it was like to listen to the other side of Christina Grimmie, the grittier side, the one that tore through Led Zeppelin's Babe, I'm gonna leave you at soundcheck every night. Only Marcus knew what that incredible experience felt like. These were the kinds of secrets that Christina kept, like pre gaming for a show by cranking thrash metal at full volume in her headphones, not the broader style of pop music that she was identified with. This is the trick of celebrity in the Internet age, the trick of maintaining some sense of secrecy. Even though fans waiting for you in Washington, D.C. and in Atlanta and very soon in Orlando, they think that they know everything there is to know about you. Kevin Loibel thought he knew everything about Christina, but he was about to discover that this was not true. Just like his fellow Best Buy employees were about to discover something they didn't know about Kevin Loyvel. Kevin had been keeping to himself at work ever since he told his co workers about his plan to go see Christina Grimmie in Orlando and marry her, and they all gave a shit about it. So he hid away in the stock room at Best Buy, just like he hid away in his bedroom at home. But today was different. Today, when Kevin arrived for his shift at work, he wanted to be seen. Because Kevin no longer looked like himself. He'd lost weight. His teeth were whitened. He'd gotten Lasik surgery and hair implants. His physical transformation was shocking. For Kevin, it wasn't shock. It was simply intentional. It was rising to meet the moment. Shock was something else entirely. Shock was what he felt just a short time later when he was looking at photos of Christina online and saw something that made him question everything. He remained a changed man who was on a mission. Only now his mission had changed. It was no longer a mission of love. It was one of retribution. He flipped the hourglass. He held back the hands on the clock. Kevin Loyvel was now controlling time, and Christina Grimmie's time was nearly up. We'll be right back after this. Word, word, word.
- [27:54]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.
- [28:09]
Family Secrets Witness/Storyteller
Just then, we felt the plane turn in the air, so much so that the bags that were under people's seats just kind of flew into the aisle.
- [28:18]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Each week, we dive headfirst into the complex power of secrecy. How it shapes our identities and relationships and how it ultimately can reveal to us our truest selves.
- [28:30]
Family Secrets Witness/Storyteller
My daughter, she's pretending she doesn't know, but is trying to cook and feed me and keep me alive because I wasn't eating anything and me pretending like everything was fine.
- [28:39]
He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him.
- [28:46]
Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [28:54]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
May is mental health awareness month, and your 20s, they can feel like a lot. On the psychology of your 20s podcast, we unpack the anxiety, the overthinking, the heartbreak, the identity crisis, all of it that comes with being in your 20s. Because if you've ever thought, is anybody else feeling this way? They definitely are.
- [29:17]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 1
I feel like my 20s was a process of checking off everything that I was not good at to get to what I was good at. Oftentimes, we take everything a little bit too seriously and we get lost in things that we later on decide weren't even important to us to begin with.
- [29:33]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 2
There was a large chunk of my 20s that I, like, was just so wanting to, like, be out of that phase, out of my skin, and I just, like, really regret not living in the present more.
- [29:41]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
Each week. We break down the science behind what you're going through and give you real tools to navigate it. Your 20s aren't about having it all figured out. They're about understanding yourself just a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [30:01]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
This season on Dear Chelsea with me, Chelsea Handler, we have some fantastic guests like Emilia Clarke.
- [30:07]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
When, like young people come up to
- [30:09]
Psychology of Your 20s Guest 2
me and they want to be an
- [30:10]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
actor or whatever, my first thing is always, can you think of anything else
- [30:14]
Family Secrets Witness/Storyteller
that you can do?
- [30:15]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
I'd rather be disappointed in do that. Dennis Leary.
- [30:20]
Dear Chelsea Guest (Sleepwalking Story)
I wake up and I'm hitting him in the head with a water bottle and Bruce Jenner is on the aisle in a karate stance like he's about to attack me, like making karate noises. And his entire the Kardashians have me over there. Everybody's going and the air marshal is trying to grab my arms and screaming and I immediately know that I've been sleepwalking.
- [30:42]
Dear Chelsea Guest (David Oyelowo Commentator)
David Oyelowo I love this podcast, whether it's therapy or relationships or religion or sex or addiction or you just go straight for the guts guy.
- [30:52]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
Branham. So anyway, Nicole Kidman broke up with Keith Thurbin.
- [30:57]
Dear Chelsea Guest (David Oyelowo Commentator)
Being half of a country couple was always a hat she was gonna wear, not like a life she was gonna lead.
- [31:03]
Chelsea Handler (Dear Chelsea Host)
Oh, interesting. I like that. Did you practice that on your way over? Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger Things, Tana Mongeau, Camilla Marrone, Carrie, Kenny Silver, and more. Listen to these episodes of Dear Chelsea on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your casts.
- [31:28]
Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Getting the gun was easy. Florida had a five day waiting period and he had no record, no priors. So he put down the money, bided his time, and on May 31, Kevin Loyble picked up his new Glock 9 millimeter handgun. He decided a second gun was only prudent insurance to get the job done, so to speak. So one week later, on June 7, he returned to the shop to get another Glock, this one a slightly different model. Two days after that, on June 9, he left St. Petersburg for Orlando, where the following night Christina Grimmie was scheduled to perform at an independent music venue called the Plaza Live. Kevin Loyble packed light. He had his concert ticket. He had his gun. Guns, he had an additional loaded mag for each piece. He had a large hunting knife, which he strapped to his ankle. He was careful to cover his tracks. He destroyed the hard drive on his computer back home and encrypted his smartphone so that when all was said and done, the police would be unable to learn much about him. He also left a handwritten note at his home to let everyone know that he was sorry for what he was about to do. They would never be able to to know exactly what set Kevin off, why he went from obsessing over marrying Christina to obsessing over killing Christina. Later, through interviews with those who knew him, including his Best Buy co workers, the cops would conclude that an online photo of Christina with another man was potentially the catalyst. That Kevin may have felt betrayed at the sight of this photo, this mystery boyfriend. Perhaps. Perhaps even though his own relationship with Christina was in reality no more than a fantasy in his mind. The fantasy turned dark that day, and when Kevin finally hit the road on June 9, he no longer had wedding bells on the brain. He was thinking only of murder. As Kevin Loibel was checking into the Courtyard by Marriott in Orlando, over 400 miles away in Atlanta, Christina Grimmie and her brother Marcus were taking selfies with fans at the meet and greet following that night's show on their tour. Any sign of Christina's disappointment with being eliminated from the Voice two years prior have been replaced by the overwhelming gratitude she felt to be able to do what she did, to travel from city to city, sing, hang out with adoring fans and share it all with her brother. It sounded stupid and cliche to say out loud, but it really was a dream come true. After the Voice, she stayed busy. She entered and won a different competition this time the iHeartRadio Macy's Rising Star contest, which secured her a spot performing at the iHeartRadio music festival in the fall of 2015, further raising her profile in the process. And in the months since she'd returned to the Voice as the show's resident fashion expert and spokesperson for Kohl's. Her new ep, side A, which she was selling on her own at her shows, debuted at number 25 on Billboard's independent chart, and she was already at work on its follow up, Side B. After the last fan was out the door, Christina, Marcus and the guys in before youe Exit packed up. The next 24 hours were standard tourists fair, cheap hotel too wired to sleep early morning and the hum of tires on the road. Long stretch down I75, asphalt and gridlock. They pulled into Orlando in time for soundcheck at the Plaza live. Solid crowd that night. She could feel the love, and the show went as well as any on the tour, though there was something extra special in the air, seeing that Orlando was before you Exit's hometown. The meet and greet which followed was the same as always, which is to say that Christina and Marcus had done this hundreds of times and had it down to a science. Fans lined up, mostly teenage girls. And one by one, they made their way to Christina, who was always waiting for each of them with her arms wide open. There was a reason that she was a spokesperson for Kohl's and not for Prada or Louis Vuitton. The teenagers and young adults engaging with her in the flesh saw themselves in Christina. Christina was their every woman. She was a hugger, humble and grounded. She made everyone feel humble and grounded and safe. But when it came to safety, precautions were taken. Of course, there was security on site, but security wasn't much more than a couple of big dudes in polo shirts checking bags and purses at the entrance. They weren't armed, and there was no need. Kristina's level of fame and the size of the crowds were relatively low and manageable by a small team. This was still 2016. Even Taylor Swift was a few years away from combating the occupational hazard of stalkers by installing facial recognition software at her shows. So Christina stood by the merch table, her brother Marcus by her side, and threw open her arms for the next girl waiting in line. They hugged, and the girl began to smile and cry at the same time, both relieved and overwhelmed at the moment. And then the girl handed her phone to her mom, who took a photo of her standing there with Christina's arm around her waist, the girl wearing a Christina Grimmie T shirt. Christina still dressed in the black top, matching black skirt she'd worn for the show. The flash from the phone went off, and the girl stumbled over her words, trying to express her gratitude. And then the girl was gone, and it was time for the next fan in line. But this next person looked much different from the rest of the fans. Stepping toward Christina now wasn't another teenage girl, but an adult male with bright white teeth and thinning, dirty blonde hair. He wore a red, white, and white blue flannel shirt, black jeans, and a black baseball cap. It didn't matter that he was different from the rest. A fan was a fan was a fan. No judgment. Christina did what she always did. Arms wide open, she went for the hug. Bring it in here. And as she did, the man came in closer. But he didn't open his arms and return. Instead, he reached behind him, his hand on the back of his pants, pulling a Glock 9 millimeter from a concealed nylon holster. Christina barely had time to clock exactly what was happening when the man raised the gun, pointed it at her at close range, and fired. Marcus Grimmie was standing next to his sister when the shots rang out. Five of them in quick succession. They sounded like Balloons popping and echoing inside the small venue. But when Marcus saw Christina suddenly drop to the ground, and he looked up to see Kevin Loibel standing there, a man he did not know. A man his sister did not know. Flannel shirt, black jeans, black cap, the smoke rising from the muzzle of the Glock in his hand. Marcus panicked. The whole room was full of people who were now panicking. Teenage girls were screaming. They were dropping to the floor like Christina just had, flat on their stomachs, their hands in and arms wrapped tightly around their heads so as to shield themselves from whatever harm was about to befall them all. Marcus looked at Kevin and then to his sister lying there lifeless on the floor of the plaza, and then back to Marcus again, The panic melted away, and Marcus was now vibrating. The adrenaline surged. His heart raced. He was understanding what had just happened, but not wanting to believe it. Spurred on in this moment by the need to jump into action, by the need to do something. So he followed that impulse, that instinct, and he leapt forward, grabbing Kevin Loibel and knocking his body to the ground. There, the two men wrestled, and Marcus got his hands around Kevin's hands, twisting and turning them back and forth in hopes that he could wrench the gun away, and also hoping that in doing so, he wouldn't cause the gun to go off again. It only took Marcus a few seconds to accomplish what he set out to do. He had the gun. No one else would be hurt. Marcus stood up on his feet, and Kevin did the same. And the two squared off just a short distance apart. But Marcus felt a sense of relief even as his heart continued to pound and his hands shook. And then Marcus's hard won victory received a setback. Kevin reached around to his back again, like he'd done a few moments before when he shot Christina. And he pulled out the second gun. Another Glock 9 millimeter. Now the panic had returned. Marcus Grimmie's eyes were locked with the eyes of the man who just put bullets into his sister. The same man who had a second gun now pointing at him. This was it. The same thing that had happened to Christina was about to happen to Murray. And Marcus braced himself for the sound, for the deafening blast. He wondered if he would hear it before the bullet pierced his skin, before he wound up down on the floor next to his sister. The following few seconds felt like hours. But Kevin did not fire at Markus. Instead, Kevin Foible took a few steps back toward a nearby wall, raised the gun to his own head, and pulled the trigger. The Orlando police department received numerous 911 calls. At 10:24pm on the evening of June 10, 2016, when first responders arrived at the plaza live, they found the shooter, Kevin Loyble, dead of a self inflicted gunshot wound. The victim, Christina Grimmie, 22 years old, had been given CPR by the father of the before you exit band members who found that she had a very weak pulse. Christina was rushed to nearby Orlando Regional Medical center where she was pronounced dead a short time later at 10:59pm Christina had been shot three times in her torso and once in the side of her head and the head wound proved fatal. Marcus Grimmie walked the cops through it all, including how he had knocked Kevin Loibel down to the ground in order to disarm him. Marcus was quickly hailed by Orlando PD as a hero for preventing further damage. Homicide detectives traveled to the St. Petersburg home of Kevin Loibel, where they found the computer with the damaged hard drive and a note that he had left behind. The note simply read, with all its mistakes intact, quote, deepest sorrow for lost to the family, friends and fans of the very talented, loving Christina Grimmie. No other comments. Kevin Loibel's father, brother and co workers all provided their statements. Some of them were unaware of Kevin's obsession, while others had noticed that said obsession had grown unhealthy in the last six to eight weeks. Kevin's fellow Best Buy employee and best friend of 15 years, Corey Dennington, described to the detective a man who had been quickly losing his grip on reality. He said that Kevin spent most of his waking hours when not at work following Christina Grimmie online, including her social media accounts, even though Kevin himself did not have any social media accounts. Cory, the employee, confirmed that Kevin had made all those changes to his appearance, his hair, his eyes, his teeth, his weight for Christina Grimmie's benefit because he firmly believed that they were going to be together. Corey even revealed how Kevin, a self described atheist, had claimed that Christina's faith had inspired him to reassess his own beliefs. And furthermore, Kevin had said that if God did exist, then he saw God in Christina Grimmie. Even more troubling, the last thing Kevin said to Corey Corey, just days before leaving for Orlando, was that he was tired and was ready to ascend. Only now, in hindsight, did those comments strike Kevin's co worker as troubling. Perhaps because none of us expect that one of our friends or co workers is capable of murder. And so again, we're faced with the question of motive here. What? Why did Kevin Loibel do it? Why did he kill the person he professed to be in love with. TMZ reported at the time that another one of Kevin's co workers had told them he had seen a photograph of Christina with her male producer and that Kevin, upon seeing the photo, was sent into a rage. But when Orlando detectives spoke with Kevin's other co workers, none of them could confirm they were the source who had spoken to tmz. So whatever the explanation, it wasn't going to bring Christina Grimmie back. And now Marcus Grimmie was left to grieve the loss of his little sister, as were their parents, a mother and father who had been so instrumental in helping Christina pursue her dream. Like the Grimmie family, the rest of the pop world also went into mourning. Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Nick Jonas, and others who knew Christina took to Instagram and Twitter. In his Instagram post, Adam Levine, Christina's coach on the Voice and one of her biggest supporters, shared a selfie of the two of them with a caption that read, I'm sad, shocked, and confused. We love you so much, Grimmy. We are all praying hard that you can pull through this. This just isn't fair. That one line. We are all praying hard that you can pull through this. It stands out because at the time when Levine posted this, Christina Grimmie had already been pronounced dead. That said, shock is a hell of a thing, as is love, as is hope, as is the fucked up process that is grief. Adam Levine, for one, didn't know what the hell to do, so he offered to pay for Christina's funeral. Meanwhile, back in Orlando, tragedy multiplied. A little over 24 hours after Christina Grimmie was gunned down at the Plaza live, only a few miles away, another gunman, a different gunman, walked into a gay nightclub called Pulse and shot and killed 49 people, wounding another 58. The mass casualty event quickly overshadowed the news of Christina Grimmie's murder on a national level. Just another example of the erratic influence of time in the news cycle and in our culture. Because even though she may have been overshadowed, Christina Grimmie has not been forgotten. Time won't let us forget, even if time can also take from us far too soon the people that we love. And for that, the cruel nature with which time barrels ahead can be such a disgrace. I'm Jake Brennan, and this is Disgraceland. All right, guys, thanks for hanging with me. In another episode of Disgraceland, A heavy one. Very, very heavy. This week's question of the week. Which rock stars, murder, assassination, whatever you want to call it due to obsession, has wrecked you the most emotionally. Okay, fans of Christina Grimmie, Dimebag, Daryl, John Lennon, there's, there's a lot, unfortunately. And you know, I still remember how I felt as a little boy, very little actually, when, when John Lennon was killed. And that feeling has stayed with me. So that's what I want to unpack with you guys. Let me know which one's gutted you the most. 617-906-6638 voicemail and text. Hit me up at Disgracelandpod on the socials. You can also email me disgracelandpodgmail.com Sign up to become an All Access Member member at our Patreon or Apple podcast. Go to Disgracelandpod.com to sign up. Thanks for the support. Here comes some credits. Disgraceland was created by yours truly and is produced in partnership with Double Elvis, the Exactly Right Network and I Heart Podcasts. Credits for this episode can be found on the show notes page@gracelandpod.com if you're listening as a Disgraceland All Access member, thank you for supporting the show. We really appreciate it. And if not, you can become a member right now by going to Disgracelandpod.com membership members can listen to every episode of Disgraceland ad free rate and review the show and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook Disgracelandpod and on YouTube@YouTube.com Disgracelandpod Rocka roll.
- [49:06]
Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
He's a bad, bad man.
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Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
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Liberty Mutual Commercial Voice (Doug)
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Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Yeah, the bird looks out of your league.
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Dani Shapiro (Family Secrets Host)
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Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
Your 20s can be so exciting, but they can also be really overwhelming, confusing, and honestly, just kind of lonely. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the psychology of your twenties is breaking down the science behind the biggest roadblocks we face.
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Psychology of Your 20s Guest 1
I was six years into my career, the 80 hour weeks and just the first one in, the last one out and I ended up burning out.
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Psychology of Your 20s Guest 2
There was a large chunk of my twenties that I like was just so wanting to like be out of that phase out of my skin and I just like really regret not living in the present more.
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Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
You don't need to have everything figured out right now. You just need to understand yourself a little bit better. Listen to the psychology of your 20s on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You think you're in control until you realize you're not.
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Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
As they're having this gun battle thousands of feet up in the air, many of the bullets start to puncture the aircraft. I thought we were gonna die then.
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Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
The Knife is a podcast about the moment ordinary lives take an unexpected turn.
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Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Real people, real stories, and the split
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Narrator/Host (Disgraceland and Psychology of Your 20s)
second that changes everything. New episodes drop every Thursday on the Exactly Right Network and the iHeart Podcast Network.
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Jake Brennan (Disgraceland Host)
Listen to the Knife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.