2026 Distractible Game Guide

Summary

Distractible – "2026 Distractible Game Guide"

Release Date: January 5, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens
Theme: Gaming in 2026 – Upcoming Games, Game Awards Reactions & Classic Banter

---

Episode Overview

In this lively new-year episode, the Distractible crew drops their typical inconsistency and returns to their “roots” with a spirited, sprawling discussion of the games (and some shows) they're most excited for in 2026. Using their classic banter, personal stories, and a running tally of “points,” Mark, Wade, and Bob immerse themselves in game trailers, hype cycles, gaming nostalgia, and their characteristic absurd tangents. The episode is rich in anticipation, playful criticism of the industry, and unpredictably hilarious moments—including tales of family, toddler comedy, and their infamous competition for podcast “winner.”

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Year, New Distractible?

• Opening Banter & Awards:
  • The hosts riff on being "consistently inconsistent," with Mark joking about changing the show’s paradigm, likening it to the jarring art style change in Dexter’s Laboratory’s final season.
  • They discuss the end-of-year Spotify wrapped awards—fancy boxes, trophies (like the “Crate Digger” and “Armchair Athlete”), and even a personalized Distractible water bottle.
  • Bob cherishes the rare sight of his name on a trophy, while Mark insists that macaroni art from a kid might matter more (“when your kid gets you a macaroni art…that’ll be better than any award. Or not.” – Mark, 08:34).

2. Personal Updates & Comedic Family Moments

• Medical Misadventures:

  • Wade shares a story of a family holiday derailed by his aunt's "vast cavern of pus" infection, leading to hospital drama (“That small little dot of infection was, like, the entry point into the vast cavern of pus and death and murder spots.” – Wade, 10:45).
  • Bob jokes about the need for everyone to get medical degrees to deal with doctors who need “reminding.”

• Bob’s Toddler, the Comedian:

  • Bob recounts his three-year-old son James working on his comedic timing at dinner: “Mom, you’re cheese. Cheese can’t talk. Dad, you’re crackers…crackers can’t talk. What’s James? I’m scared because mom and dad are cheese and crackers.” (13:07–13:51).
  • Everyone praises the toddler’s budding sense of wordplay and timing.

3. Game Awards, Trailers, and 2026 Gaming Landscape

• Trailers that Tease Way Too Soon:

  • Big discussion of the trend toward trailers years ahead of release, focusing especially on the newly announced Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic, which may not drop until 2030.
  • Wade’s frustration: “Why would they have the trailer? Why even tease that this far in advance? It builds a hype that is then gone for years.” (19:30)
  • Bob’s counterpoint: Studios need to impress money-people and publishers; early trailers drive interest even if they annoy fans.

• Star Wars Nostalgia & Frustrations:

  • The group bemoans the long stretches between Star Wars game releases, joking about the original Knights of the Old Republic “coming in 2030—maybe.”
  • Excitement spikes over the reveal of Star Wars Galactic Racer, a modern take on the old pod racing arcade games (“Finally a sequel to Episode One Racer…from 1999!” – Wade, 23:24).

• Other Game Awards Reactions:

  • Mark expresses “hate” for “Clair Obscura 33er,” an apparently controversial new title that swept awards, likely in jest.

4. Games the Hosts are Excited About

Upcoming & Niche Games:

• Slay the Spire 2:
  • Bob hypes this anticipated indie sequel, reminiscing about obsessive play during tour days (24:36).
• New Nintendo IPs:
  • Bob shares excitement for Yoshi and the Mysterious Book for Switch 2, thrilled by the nostalgic vibes and callback mechanics (37:10).
  • New Mario Tennis for Switch 2 also generates interest due to the enduring quality of the Mario sports line.

Blockbusters & Tentpole Titles:

• Diablo 4: Lord of Hatred DLC:
  • Wade discusses the cycle of hype/disappointment, noting the addition of the Paladin class and finally facing actual “Big Bads”—after years of build-up (“Why has Diablo 4 been so low on Diablo?!” – Wade, 33:13).
• 007: First Light:
  • Bob spotlights this new Bond title, speculating it will have Hitman-esque mechanics and marveling at the $300 edition with a “real” golden gun replica (29:35).
• Divinity’s Next Chapter:
  • Mark and Wade puzzle over whether the new Divinity game will stick to its roots with turn-based combat after mixed, potentially misleading messages in the game’s promotion (43:38).
• The Boys – Final Season (TV):
  • Although off-topic, Wade shares deep hype for The Boys’ final season, lauding its wild, graphic tone and eagerly predicting the reunion of Supernatural stars (26:40–27:10).
• The Forest 3 & Sons of the Forest:
  • The crew remembers good (and hilariously bad) times playing survival-crafting hits, now anticipating the next chapter—despite the series’ increasing complexity and size (39:04–40:24).
• GTA 6:
  • Still nobody expects a punctual release—“We’ll see that in June 2027 at the earliest.” – Bob, 45:11.

5. Classic Distractible Bits & The Points Game

• Wheel of Points:
  • Hilarity ensues as Bob and Wade compete for points via outlandish reasons, joke “lie points,” and the dreaded Scottish Accent challenge (47:39–49:16).
  • Both attempt (knowingly terrible) Scottish accents:
    • Bob: “Oh, listen here, laddie, you best be giving me this point!” (48:02)
    • Wade: “You can take my points, but you'll never take my victory!” (48:23)
  • Ultimately, Wade ekes out a win, delivering an over-the-top winner’s speech: “Unintended victory was inevitable. As am I. I'm in your house. I'm on your screen. I'm in your ears. Look upon me, for I am the bald and you can never forget.” (49:53)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Gaming Paranoia:
  “Why would they have the trailer? Why even tease that this far in advance? It builds a hype that is then gone for years.”
  – Wade (19:30)

• On Toddler Wordplay:
  “Mom, you’re cheese. Cheese can’t talk. Dad, you’re crackers…crackers can’t talk…”
  – James (via Bob, 13:07–13:51)

• On Modern Game Marketing:
  “You want the money people to look and be like, ah, they've got a trailer. So, like, they're working on it… If they see the hype, they'll believe the game might make money.”
  – Bob (20:20)

• On Discouraging Success:
  “If people like something, it makes me immediately want to stop playing it.”
  – Bob (41:45)

• On Points Competition Absurdity:
  “Who said Lord Commander cum stain? Was that you, Wade?”
  – Host (likely Mark, 47:15)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Award & Gift Unboxing: 07:03–09:42
• Family Medical Saga: 10:45–11:42
• Toddler Comedy Hour: 13:07–14:56
• Game Awards/Trailers Rant: 16:40–21:47
• Star Wars in Gaming Nostalgia: 22:01–23:45
• Slay the Spire 2 Chatter: 24:13–25:07
• Diablo 4 DLC Breakdown: 32:20–36:49
• Yoshi & Nintendo Platformers: 37:09–38:23
• The Forest Memories: 39:04–41:45
• Mario Tennis/Switch 2 Games: 42:02–43:10
• 007: First Light Speculation: 29:35–31:10
• Wheel of Points / Scottish Accent Showdown: 47:39–49:16
• Winner & Loser Speeches: 49:53–50:59

---

Language & Tone

The episode features Distractible’s trademark mix of affectionate mockery, quick-witted humor, over-the-top storytelling, and self-deprecation. The tone is playful and teasing but rich in genuine excitement for games, nostalgia for media, and evident warmth among the hosts. Quotable one-liners and absurdist jokes abound, mixed with surprisingly insightful commentary (often buried in their comedic delivery).

---

Takeaways for Listeners

• Get a whirlwind tour of 2026 gaming news and industry oddities—via the Distractible lens.
• Enjoy contagious enthusiasm, sharp critiques of media trends, and the hosts’ unmatched chemistry and rivalry.
• Marvel at (or cringe with) their recurring points game and the ever-complicated Wheel of Scottish Accents.
• Gain a short-list of 2026’s must-watch games: Star Wars: Fate of the Old Republic, Diablo 4: Lord of Hatred, Slay the Spire 2, 007: First Light, Yoshi and the Mysterious Book, the next Divinity, and more.
• Relish side stories about toddler comedians, lost holidays, and the eternal battle: who’s the podcast “winner”?

In short:
Distractible’s 2026 Game Guide is a wild, welcoming, and wonderfully messy kickoff for the gaming year—exactly as you’d want from Mark, Wade, and Bob.

Transcript

[Sponsor/Announcer]

This episode is brought to you BY T Mobile 5G Home Internet. I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays everything in your house keeps getting smarter. Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet. Everything. What isn't smart? Luckily, t mobile 5G home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected. With their quick one cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less. They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget and a five year price guarantee. So if you're looking for Internet that keeps up with you, connect to T Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee. Visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check. Availability guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details@t mobile.com homeinternet.

[Bob]

This.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Episode is brought to you by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays everything in your house keeps getting smarter. Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet. Everything. What isn't smart? Luckily, t mobile 5G home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected. With their quick one cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less. They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget and a five year price guarantee. So if you're looking for Internet that keeps up with you, connect to T Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee. Visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check. Availability guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details@t mobile.com homeinternet.

[Bob]

Don'T chew on that, Max.

[Wade]

Cooper loves that chew too.

[Bob]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow, he is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?

[Wade]

Blue Buffalo Life Protection Formula. He never leaves a crumb. I love it because it's made with high quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and veggies, and wholesome whole grains.

[Bob]

Looks like we're switching to blue.

[Wade]

Blue Buffalo foods are made with the.

[Bob]

Superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive. Can your dog food say that? Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[Markiplier (Mark)]

Good evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractable this episode Magnific Mark owns all the prizes, then asks the future of computer entertainment. Bothered Bob is trophy neglected? Has James a jestering mention? Speeding Mini Vader Bond and Yushi Wangtastic? Wade sucks stuff Talks cavernous pus the Kotor Swattor successor and blows to boys from consistent inconsistence to Mario.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Markiplier (Mark)]

It'S time for 2026 distractable game guide. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Good evening, gentle listeners, and good morning, rowdy viewers. Welcome back to Distractable, the favorite podc Best of whoever your favorite person is because they have good taste, even if you don't. So in today's episode, we're gonna do the exact same thing that we do every episode, except it's going to be very different because we change up what it is every single time. If you're looking for consistency, this is not the place. Or is it because we're consistent about who these guys are? Bob and Wade.

[Bob]

That's us. Consistently inconsistent. That's what I was voted in high school.

[Wade]

Always been me, never been anyone else.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Unless you have a cigar, then you turn into another person entirely. I thought you were going to bring out the cigar.

[Wade]

No.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right, fine, then.

[Wade]

Unless. Oh, yeah, that's right. I was reaching for. I was just trying to do it stealthily. Something beeped. It didn't sound good.

[Bob]

I feel like every time you put that cigar in your mouth, I'm more and more sure that someday it's going to kill you.

[Wade]

Tastes worse each time, too.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It might be a bomb if it's beeping, so you might want to.

[Wade]

I don't know how to hold a cigar. Is this how you hold a cigar?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, anyway, you're not getting any points for that. But, Bob, you're not getting any points either, so everything is fair. And that's what we do here on this podcast. Wait, what was that? And why? Bob, what was that?

[Bob]

It was a fidget spinner because Wade was doing a cigar thing and I was trying to see if I could get cigar points.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Oh, God, I was. Ah, man. You know, that's why I'm not playing this episode. I don't know what's going on with anything ever.

[Wade]

The new year, man. New year.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, it's a good thing it's a new year because that means we're going to have entirely new content. We're going to mix up this show. We're going to change the paradigm. Just like how in Dexter's Laboratory for that weird last season, you remember when the art style just, like, completely changed.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

For some reason. And I don't know why a lot of shows do that, but they do, because as a kid, it's extremely jarring. And it's. It's scary because I. Like, I wasn't super young when that happened, but it was like I was. I was watching. I was just like. I got so confused. Like, is this a fan project? Is this a weird one off episode where they look different? No, just completely different aesthetics. That's gonna be us this year.

[Bob]

All right. Wait, but you said that was bad.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah, but when we do it, it's gonna be good. Cause you guys are gonna make it good, right?

[Bob]

Mm, mm, mm. Yeah.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Wade, you're not really agreeing as much as Bob is.

[Wade]

Oh, I agree that I'm not agreeing as much as Bob is. But I do agree about the agreement prior to the agreeing that I'm not agreeing as much.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Pro pre. Agreed.

[Wade]

Pre. Pro pre. Wow. What a callback. Give yourself a point, bud.

[Bob]

You earned it.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

No.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

There will be no earning of points.

[Wade]

Wait. Okay, okay. Plus, there will be earning.

[Bob]

See you guys later.

[Wade]

I'm taking this one off.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Not for me. So I'm the host for everyone who doesn't know, but who knows. This is a new year. It's going to be all kinds of weird going on here. Ignore the fact that this is the same shirt I was wearing before. Before Christmas. But Bob and Wade, whose shirt is different between you. You look. Listeners, some weird things are happening.

[Bob]

Nothing's happening. Don't worry about it.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Now Wade's sucking on that weird bottle.

[Wade]

Why does.

[Bob]

All right, I got the winner right here. Not sponsored.

[Wade]

Is that a can of a jar of mayonnaise?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Wait, wait. Did you guys get this?

[Bob]

Yeah, I did. It's mine sitting back there, I think.

[Wade]

Yeah, if it's in a box, I haven't opened those.

[Bob]

It's. It's actually a really nice box.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It's an award for Armchair athlete. The Armchair athlete wrapped awards 2025.

[Bob]

Mine. It has my name on it, and it says the Crate Digger award, wrapped awards 2025.

[Wade]

I want to. I want one of those.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, yeah, it's like a maybe a foot by foot and a half kind of box.

[Bob]

It's pretty. Like a pretty medium, all black box. Yeah.

[Wade]

For no particular reason. I'll be right back.

[Bob]

Yeah, well, there was. There was. Did you have the chocolates, too? There were chocolates in there. They were pretty good.

[Wade]

There were chocolates in there.

[Bob]

Yeah, there was a little box parties. They're pretty Good. They're. Each one is like a different award for list for anyone who doesn't understand the context. What's that? This is from Spotify. Every year, Spotify sends us around the holidays, around the end of the year, like a little gift or a little. This year, they sent out these boxes that had, like, these awards in them that are very cool. And then there were, like, chocolates. There was. What was. Oh, then really. They also send sort of a really fancy gift. This year they sent a Sono speaker.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah, that's right. I have that over there.

[Bob]

It's very nice. Mine was green. It's cool.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Mine's black, I think.

[Bob]

Well, mine's cooler. So this is, like, the first time I've gotten a trophy that has my name printed on it in, I don't know, since I was 10 years old. Probably since I got, like, a trophy for playing baseball or something. When do you get a trophy with your name? Well, I don't have to ask you. You get things, but I don't get trophies with my name on them.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I got a couple.

[Bob]

I don't accomplish things, so it's much more surprising for me.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

You accomplish plenty of things. Look, when. When. When your kid gets you a macaroni art with your name on it, I think that'll be better than any award. Or not.

[Wade]

Okay. I won't be.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It'll be a piece of shit.

[Bob]

I wouldn't know because he hasn't done it yet, so. Promises made, promises not kept, really.

[Wade]

You guys will never believe what came in the mail yesterday.

[Bob]

Oh, what's in there?

[Wade]

Happy wrapped.

[Bob]

It's just a big box of coal. Got him.

[Wade]

Whoa. Crate digger.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Wade]

Hey. What?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

That's what he got.

[Wade]

We're both crate diggers.

[Bob]

I'm gonna look right past that. I'm gonna just appreciate it.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Unless it's like a Fortnite thing, and then. No, it just doesn't sound good, no matter what.

[Wade]

And I got this best Beatles thing. Ringo.

[Bob]

That's actually an interesting water bottle. I. It's. It has a mag. Safe mount on top, but I didn't notice until Mandy pointed out it says distractible on it. It actually. On the. On the base, on the powder coat, it has distract. Because I was like, oh, water bottle. I mean, cool, nice. But whatever. But it has. It says distractable. It's nice. It's fancy.

[Wade]

Come on, focus. Focus on the bottle, not on me. Camera, please.

[Bob]

And then Wade was blurry for the rest of the episode anyway.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, that's really cool.

[Wade]

Congrats.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

On your awards, guys, I'm going to give you both an award point.

[Bob]

Oh, I want to throw this out, too. To the social team at graders in Cincinnati. I got the box of ice cream. Hey. Holiday flavors from graders. I had the eggnog one already. It was really good.

[Wade]

Graders. I love graders. Call me.

[Bob]

You would probably just get it and not open it. And then you have a box of melted ice cream just like last time.

[Wade]

Yeah, but it'd be my box of melted ice cream.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, that was delightful pre small talk, but the real small talk comes now.

[Wade]

Wait. Everything in my life has kind of gone the exact same as it usually does. I've been at my computer a lot, and things are pretty calm and chill.

[Bob]

Wow.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I mean, yeah, that's kind of. You know, it's kind of the dream. I got.

[Wade]

I got a sad update. Do you want sad?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Wait, you said everything was good and fine.

[Bob]

Is it sad or is it not sad?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Giving you a lie point.

[Wade]

Okay, here's the thing. Everything is the same, which is kind of sad, because usually my family comes up from Atlanta, Georgia, but my aunt had a bad infection, and she went to a doctor. She was like, oh, I'm having some pain. And they were like, oh, well, you have this little infected area. Let me give you some, like, medicine. And her daughter went with her, was like, shouldn't you, like, clean out the infected area before we go or something, just to, you know, make sure it's in a good spot? And the doctor's like, oh, I suppose I can do that. And it's like, that's weird. That feels like just something you should probably do or don't do. I don't know. And he went to clean out the infected area, and it turned out that small little dot of infection was, like the entry point into the vast cavern of pus and death and murder spots. And so whenever he went to drain, he ended up draining a lot more. And it was apparently very gross. I won't go into all of it, but he was like, I probably should have done this. This seems like more of a job for the emergency room. You should go get checked out. Long story short, she has a really bad infection, which I think she's getting better from at this point. But she couldn't make it up for the holidays, so I don't get to see them for the holidays.

[Bob]

Man, I feel so confident that doctors always have our backs. I'm glad that they always do what we ask them to because they know that we know best or something. God, I hate stories like that sounds like she's getting better, though. That's not that sad of an update. That's more just like things that happened that are unfortunate. But catching the infection and curing it, that's good. That's very good.

[Wade]

And the doctor let them tell him everything that he didn't know, which is great.

[Bob]

This is why we all need medical degrees, so that when we see the doctor, we can tell them to do the stuff they don't remember about.

[Wade]

Ho, ho, ho. Happy New Year.

[Bob]

I'm gonna earn way more points. I have a very funny update. All right.

[Wade]

I can't wait.

[Bob]

Sad updates aren't worth nothing. Okay? James is refining his comedy, and it's really fucking funny. So James. James likes to tell jokes, and a lot of his jokes are set up. Punchline, something really quick. Usually he'll do, like, a fart or something or be like, whatever. But he has realized he likes getting the laugh, and he has learned, like, this is what got me the laugh, right? So he'll do a joke, and he'll be like, ah. And then I farted. And everyone's like, ha, ha, very funny. Like, ah. And he'll be like, mm. And then I farted. Because he's like, laugh some more, right? He's, like, working on it. But obviously, you can't say the same punchline twice in a row. That doesn't work. We are comedians.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

We know that.

[Bob]

So last night at dinner, we've seen there, and James just is, like, eating his food, and he looks over at Mandy and he goes, mom, you're cheese. And ma. And Mandy's like, why am I cheese? And he's like, cheese can't talk. And I'm like, okay. I look at him, and I'm like, okay, what's dad? And he goes, dad, your crackers.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

And I'm like, oh.

[Bob]

Because crackers goes with cheese. And he's like, crackers can't talk. We're sitting there. I look at him, and I'm like, all right, if mom is cheese and dad is crackers, what is James? And he goes, I'm scared because mom and dad are cheese and crackers, and we lost our shit. Like, it was very funny, Manny. I had a good laugh, and he was just, like, soaking it up. Like, that's the funniest thing I've ever said.

[Wade]

I mean, he's right.

[Bob]

And I said. And we've been trying to teach him about this, right? So we had the laugh. It was good. And I looked back at him, and I was like, okay, James, mom is Cheese. And dad is crackers. What does that make James? And he was like, oh, can't say the same thing. What do I say? Ooh, I'm afraid. And. And then he went through every word that he could think of that was, like, Sc scared to get back to the same punchline. It was so funny. It's probably much funnier because I'm his parent. Like, I get that that's maybe not the most genius comedy thing that's ever been crafted, but he is working on. He's, like, really actually working on his timing, and he's, like, experimenting with how he's doing pun. It's very funny to watch him, like, figure it out in real time.

[Wade]

It's actually super impressive, too. He's thinking of, like, synonyms and wordplay like that. Like, that's crazy.

[Bob]

He did it a bunch. I think he scared. I'm worried. I'm upset. I'm. What did he say? I'm nervous. I'm something. He did, like, one or two other ones. He knows a lot of words.

[Wade]

That's funny and impressive. And he's just turned three.

[Bob]

Yeah, just turned three. Anyway, very funny. Dinner is very funny. Sometimes. Sometimes he screams and, you know, he's a toddler, but sometimes it's hilarious.

[Wade]

Based on his current level of intellect, he's, like, six months away from just being able to replace me flat out on the podcast.

[Bob]

I keep telling him he needs to find a job, and he's like, nah, I'm play Fortnite some more, kids.

[Wade]

He is better than me.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right, man, that was. You're right. That got you way more points.

[Bob]

Way more points.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

You both did very admirably. Wade, you do have a lie point in here. And you know that's conditional, right?

[Wade]

Oh, I do. And I know what's coming up.

[Bob]

What? How? What? What did you figure out? Whoa.

[Wade]

You guys can't begin to imagine the intellect that just enraptured this episode. And I know exactly where it's the lie point. Told me everything I needed to know.

[Bob]

I'm a little worried.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

No, it was probably fine.

[Wade]

I'm nervous. I'm afraid I'm a little upset.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

One day we'll do an episode where we just come up with synonyms until we can't.

[Bob]

That'd be fun.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

But for today, it's the new year, which in the past, we've always done, like, dumb, stupid, moronic.

[Bob]

Resolutions are for idiots. I've never done them before in my life.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

What are your resolutions? No.

[Markiplier (Mark)]

God, no.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Stop. No.

[Wade]

We can't do that is that the episode? Let's do it. I got some ideas.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I think actually we've done this before as well on the new year, but we're gonna go back to our gaming roots. Game awards happened weeks ago.

[Bob]

Topical.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Topical happened weeks ago. It's a new year which means there are new games. And I, As a gaming YouTuber, I swear I am for realsies. I need to know what the landscape is of games for the upcoming year. Now I know you've got your games that you are playing right now and you can talk about them if you want. I know I'm not going to stop you from saying anything about it, but I just want to hear what's the upcoming titles? What small little niche things have you been playing? What's. What's on the horizon? Is Half Life 3 finally coming? I know that people were for some reason hyped up about the game awards maybe going to see that. I saw that horrifying trailer for Divinity. You know, I, I but I don't know what the landscape really is. All I know is that I hate Clair Obscura 33er.

[Bob]

Nobody liked that game. That's why it won so many awards because it's fixed by the man.

[Wade]

By the time this comes out, I might be done with blueprints. I went back. I told you guys I might go back. I went back.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Oh good.

[Wade]

I've started it up again and not started over but continued. I really want there to be more that a blueprints update. Blueprints dlc. There was an announcement for Star Wars Fate of the Old Republic Republic. And I was like, dude, the announcement. I have needed finally an Old Republic thing. For the first time since like 2015 there's an old Republic game. People are speculating it won't come out to like 2030.

[Bob]

I did see that and I am excited. But didn't the studio, I don't know if you said this because I was reading something else in that studio just get formed like six months ago. Isn't that why people are saying that?

[Wade]

I think so. I don't know all the reasons. I just, I was like super excited going to look into it. Then I saw a couple posts of like yeah, this maybe come out for PlayStation 7. I was like, wait, are six even out yet? We have a PlayStation 6.

[Bob]

The lead on that is like the person who was the lead for Kotor for Knights of the Old Republic, the original game I think is what I heard. But I swear I heard people talking about that like don't look forward anytime soon because literally they just got that team together and it's less than a year of development on that. But they had a trailer. I mean, they had an announcement trailer anyway.

[Wade]

Like, they do have a trailer, but if you go to the website for the game, they have like a whole jobs listing and there were a lot of available jobs, which does not give me optimism that the game is deep, deep in development.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Given that I've worked three years on a movie and that's the longest I've ever worked on a project. Games sometimes can take eight, 10 years. I mean, I don't even know if there has been any work on Half Life three or any of those three quills that people are craving. But like, Rockstar works infamously long on their games and they are big, huge games, of course.

[Wade]

But when GTA 5 first came out, I think my grandma was still a kid. And now GTA 5 is still the one that's out. 6 has been in production for about 80 years.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I'm not going to question it. That makes sense.

[Wade]

Okay, so Old Republic happening eventually one day. Maybe it's weird to have a trailer for a game five years before it. Maybe. Like, how close? How do they have the trailer? Like, why would they have the trailer? Why even tease that this far in advance? It builds a hype that is then gone for years.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I did a trailer as we were filming Iron Lung. We took time out of a day to shoot a shot that was specifically to make a teaser trailer. It's just.

[Wade]

You anticipated it coming out sooner than this, right?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Like, I sure did.

[Wade]

But three years later, still somewhat effective, you know? Yeah, but your intention was like, it doesn't seem like this intention is this game to come out. Like, it wasn't like, coming December 2026. Like, there was nothing like that on the trailer. It was just like.

[Bob]

I think it's. It's the initial hype. I think I get why, even if the project is many years down the road, you. You would want to be like, look, we're doing. Because it's. Well, for reasons I don't like, it's. You want it to look good for, like, the publisher.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Right?

[Bob]

You want the money people to look and be like, ah, they've got a trailer. So, like, they're working on it or whatever. They. If they see the hype, they'll believe that the game might make money. But as like a studio, you want to be like, look, we're doing. Maybe they're going to publish trailers along the way. Maybe they're going to do like, A dev blog or like dev behind the scenes footage. Like they do with like no clips sometimes. Or like, I don't know. But like people are going to be hyped about this game. People are excited that it's coming, even if it's way the hell in the future. It's a big enough title. I get why they would want to do that. Even though, to be honest, a lot.

[Wade]

Of these trailers just piss me off. I get pissed off by trailers that give too much. That like just give you the whole plot or give away too much. I didn't think the. The Star wars one gave away too much. So I will take that away from that one. That one didn't give a whole lot, which I was fine with. But like, I almost feel like, okay, we're getting it now. The last time, like when did Star wars, the Old Republic, when did SWTOR come out? It was like 2015. The MMO and the Knights of the Old Republic. Knights. The Old Republic 2 was like 2010 maybe was Coder 2.

[Bob]

It's a long time ago.

[Wade]

So you're releasing a trailer in 2025 for a game that hasn't had a new one come out in 10 years. And you're like, hey, this really successful franchise that people love and be begging for a new game for, we decided not to work on for the last 15 years, but now we're starting it up because we love you guys. You can't.

[Bob]

More years.

[Wade]

You finally, that sequel, 20 Years in the making.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

You can't be too upset. They're just trying to get ahead of the people on their deathbeds being like.

[Wade]

Hold on to life for a little bit longer.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Stave off the grim reaper for five.

[Wade]

More years and you'll get it.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

So you gotta understand, they're thinking of the people.

[Wade]

December 6, 2004 is when Coder 2 came out 21 years ago. December 20, 2011 is when Swoter was released 14 years ago. So you're telling me the successful franchise that in we'll call it a 10 year period had three games come out 14 years before?

[Bob]

They're like, people like this, maybe we should make another one. Wade, you're right. They should just give up altogether.

[Wade]

No, this should have been in development for the last 20 years.

[Bob]

They should sell that IP off to someone who's going to shelve it forever and they should let it go. That's what. I'm with you. I'm with you.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

[Bob]

Hey, if we're going to talk about Star wars game trailers that played at the game Awards. There was another one that I actually thought was intriguing enough. I was excited about it. You guys ever heard of pod racing?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Oh, shit. They bring in the arcade game back.

[Bob]

Star Wars Galactic Racer, I believe. Was that what it was called? It was a Star wars pod racing game that they played a trailer for. It was very sleek and modern looking.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

It was.

[Bob]

I don't know. I don't know what to expect from it, but that's very nostalgic for me. And when I saw that, there was definitely a part of me that was like, nice. And I think that one is slated for 2026, but I don't know that it has a date, so don't put too much weight on that. Potentially.

[Wade]

But finally a sequel to episode one racer, which came out, oh, April 30, 1999. What have they been doing with our Star Wars IP for 25 years?

[Bob]

Oh, they only make 19 TV series a year about the Star wars stuff. What do you. What have they been doing that?

[Wade]

They've made, like, three that have been worth mentioning.

[Bob]

Yeah, but they've made, like, a shitload. Plus, they spend a lot of time on the Lego Star wars games. Those are really good. They are. No, that's not a joke. Those are really good.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I know.

[Bob]

They're fun games. Really good.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Hey, man, it's gonna be okay.

[Wade]

Look, I mean, I'm glad that things are finally happening, but what were they doing for 20 years?

[Bob]

Torturing you. It was targeted at you.

[Wade]

Yeah, I'm super excited for that. Looks like a great game.

[Bob]

In indie game news, you know what's slated to come out this year, Claire?

[Wade]

Obscure 34.

[Bob]

Oh, Expedition 35. They skip one? No, the Slay the Spire 2 is slated for this year. You guys like that game, right? Yeah.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I was never able to get high in the Ascensions, but I did enjoy the game very thoroughly. I did not enjoy the other characters besides the guy with the sword and the robot, but did you guys know.

[Wade]

I played that when we were on tour? I had, like, my laptop and whenever we had downtime, I was playing. Like, Tyler would come and hang out and he and I would just, like, play Slay the Spire. Yeah, and I like the green rooms and stuff.

[Bob]

That was what it was like. Early access. Right. Wasn't that.

[Wade]

Oh, it might have. I mean, that was 2017. 2018.

[Bob]

Yeah, that game came out in 2018, and they're just now making a sequel to it. Lazy sacks of garbage.

[Wade]

I don't know. Seven years feels like better than 25.

[Bob]

It's funny when you, when you introduce this, Mark. In my head I was like, oh man, I don't know. There's not that. I actually do have a bunch of games I'm interested in coming out this year. I'm just a pessimistic jerk. This is interesting. Good topic, Mark.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Hey, don't say that. The only one here that is coming across as a pessimistic jerk is Wade.

[Wade]

Thank you.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

So Slay the Spire 2 Wade. He technically jumped your turn. But turn shmirn. That's what I say.

[Bob]

Yeah, Schmern's there for turns.

[Wade]

Are we talking about anything or specifically games? Gaming.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Specifically gaming is the main type. But if you got something else, hey, it's distractible. We're meant to go off topic.

[Wade]

I think I threw this out when we were talking about the looking forward to 2026 thing a while back. But the Boys final season is coming out and I'm really excited to see it. I don't know, I got really into the Boys the first couple of episodes when I watched it. It's such a different vibe than what I expected or any other show that I saw prior because it's so. Just graphic and batshit crazy. So I've been super into it. I watched Gen V. They had season two come out late 2025 and I watched all of that and I'm just. I'm super ready. I've not read the comics. I've avoided all of like the post of like, well here's what happens in the com. I don't know any of that. I have avoid. I've not watched the trailer again. I don't trailers I feel like give away too much sometimes. So I'm always afraid to see them. So I've not watched the boys trailer. I'm just ready for it to come out. I'm ready to see how it all ends. I think they're bringing in Jared Padalecki who was in Supernatural along with Jensen Ackles. Like they were the two stars of Supernatural. So I'm interested to see what his role will be because Jensen came in a couple. I think he came in like season three as Soldier Boy. So not Soldier Boy, but Soldier boy. I'm interested to see what Jared's role will be. But it's cool to see those two uniting because I love Supernatural. So seeing those two do something again is kind of fun, but excited for that. And I can't imagine if they made a game based on the Boys that would be rated 25 and up.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah, there's not really much to do in it, but they make games out of everything, so I wouldn't be surprised.

[Wade]

There's a lot they could do with. They have quite the universe. Or they could. Presumably.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It used to be they would. I mean, I'm sure they still do, but it's like when movies come out, it would be even a concept that could be like, yeah, let's get a game to happen at the same time, and it'll release and it'll build up hype for the movie. And now games actually are kind of more predominantly in terms of storytelling.

[Bob]

Video games realized they didn't need movies anymore, and they were like, I'll just do what we want.

[Wade]

I don't think a lot of games, like, I feel like the boys game. You remember the old Red Faction game where, like, it was one of the earlier ones where you could destroy walls and just blow up everything. I don't feel like a lot of games take advantage of those kinds of mechanics, maybe because it's difficult to do and great graphics or something, But I feel like a boys universe game would be just. Just uber amounts of destruction and mayhem.

[Bob]

Levolution.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Levolution. Yeah, that's what it was. I forgot about that. I horrified myself. I was playing Red Faction, and I was doing the thing where I had unlimited rocket launcher or something with the cheat code, and I was just, like, spamming it in a wall. I wanted to see how far I could go. And I just went and went and went. And I was going into the wall. And then I got bored. So I was like, all right, I'll walk back out. And when I turned around, I was walking on this long tunnel I made, and it was closed at the end.

[Bob]

Oh.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

And I was like.

[Bob]

And I was so afraid to turn around in the game because I was.

[Wade]

Like, oh, God, they planned for this. They planned.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

And I turned around, like. And what happened was it just ran out of holes that it could put. So I dug so deep, it just block. It deleted, like, decals, like, the holes.

[Wade]

That I had first made so I.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Couldn'T get back out.

[Wade]

I never did that. I always thought about it, and I was like, ah, nah, it'd be too much work. I never did it, but I wish I had.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah. Yeah. So there is a limit. Yeah. And when I. When I shot into where it was, it would blow up, but then it would replace the block I was in with. So it would deload this one that I was just in. So I just got stuck in the brick side. And then I think it crashed or something.

[Bob]

So that's pretty funny.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I could have gone around. Why didn't I think of that? I could have just gone around.

[Wade]

Why did I think this shoots straight?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Why didn't I just go around? Oh my God, I'm so dumb.

[Bob]

Hindsight, that's really funny.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

The boys Wade wants to blow people up. I've only written wants to blow so.

[Wade]

Good enough for me.

[Bob]

Mark, do you want to hear about the Nintendo IP that I'm interested in or a game that was made famous on a Nintendo console that this is a sequel to that I'm interested in?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

You're interested in both, right?

[Bob]

These are two different things. Yes.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I'm more curious about what this game famous on than Nintendo console was.

[Bob]

I was trying to shoehorn it in here. I may have oversold it but slated for March of the coming year. The end of March. 007 first light.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

A new 007.

[Bob]

Yeah. I don't keep close track of like James Bond games, but I think it's been a minute and I'm intrigued about this one because online if you look at people talking about it, it's all theories I think mostly. But people are like it might be like it, it, it. It's going to be kind of like Hitman, right? And like the Hitman game is very fun. It's like stealthy and environmental kills and like it's. It'll be very interesting to be like a James Bond character but in a Hitman universe doing things like I could see that working. Also there's a version of this. I think it's like $300 or something. There's a version of the game that you can buy that comes with a replica of the golden gun. Like a gun. Like a real gun size.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Comes with a gun.

[Wade]

Comes with a real gun.

[Bob]

Probably not operational, but it's like a big like golden. Comes in a showcase thing. Golden gun. And it's really cool looking.

[Wade]

It's a golden gun that's not real gold nor a gun.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Hey, it's cool, man. It's cool.

[Bob]

It's cool looking and it's the color gold, not necessarily the metallic material gold for our. Anyway, I just think that's interesting. I honestly, I have low hopes that it's going to be something I really enjoy. But it'd be really fun to play a fun James Bond game.

[Wade]

The last one came out in 2012 by the way.

[Bob]

If it's what, like whatever. If it's fun to play. It's such a fun character to be and universe and I'M I'm just inherently in my head, I'm like, I hope that's good. I want to play that.

[Wade]

The last one I think I played and really enjoyed. I don't know. That was very popular one, but I think it was called, like, Nightfire or something like that.

[Bob]

That was one.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

And I remember Night Fire.

[Bob]

I think that was one.

[Wade]

Something like that. Like a PlayStation 2 or 3 games. I remember playing on a map where there was like, two skyscrapers and you're on the roof.

[Bob]

Yeah, that was the second Pierce Brosnan one.

[Wade]

There's like a trolley you could take from, like, roof to roof. But I remember I would piss off all my friends because I'd play his odd job and I would just stand on one side of the roof and throw my hat across and it would typically work. Like, they would run out of ammo and I would just be up there throwing my infinite hats and kill them. That's really my only memory of the game. I remember enjoying it.

[Bob]

That does sound annoying.

[Wade]

Yeah, I wasn't a big PvPer, so people make me PvP. I'd be shitty about it. So I'm like, yep, I'm odd job. Have my hat.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right, well, we got new 007. I'll come back for the Nintendo IP that I'm curious about. But Wade, Wade, what else you got? Hit me with the get my hopium up of future releases.

[Wade]

So right now you can Pre order Diablo 4's Lord of Hatred DLC. Diablo 4 I've had fun with on and off. I'll get really into it, and then I'll kind of like fall off because it starts to feel repetitive. Then I'll come back, get really into it. So I've been playing it again recently, so I pre ordered the dlc and when you do, you get access to the Paladin class, which is one of the two new classes coming out with the dlc. They haven't announced what the other class is yet. I think it's spoilers, I suppose, but I think they're finally putting one of the lords of hell in the game. Finally. Because, like, up to now, Diablo is surprisingly low on Diablo 4 is surprisingly low on Diablo or his brothers or any of the main baddies from the series. So far. It's like Lilith was like the boss when the game came out. And it's like, okay, Lilith, okay, that's cool. Interesting direction. When the DLCs come out, I can't wait. Or there's gonna be a twist and, like, one of them, and they've kind of, like, teased with Mephisto a little bit. He's the Lord of hatred. They've kind of teased with him a bit.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I could hear. Sorry, I got pause. I could hear. He's Lord of Hatred.

[Wade]

He is the Lord of hatred, after all, I think. Is he a lord of hatred, terror, destruction?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

If he's not the Lord of hatred, I'm going to take this point away.

[Wade]

Brain tells me. I think he is. I think Belial's Lord of Lies. Mephisto's Lord of Hatred. That sounds right.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Lord of hatred is Mephisto. Okay.

[Wade]

Okay. Yeah. I mixed him and Belial up in my brain for a second, but I was right. Anyway, I. I think one of them will finally be introduced, which is crazy, because, like, when Diablo 2 came out, you fought Mephisto, and you fought Diablo in that game. And then the DLC came out and you fought Baal, and they're like, the three brothers. I thought it was Diablo 2. I'm sorry. Diablo 3 came out, and it's like, okay, we have Lyle and Azmodan, and then, oh, there's Diablo. Diablo is in this Diablo game. Great. And now it's like Diablo 4, where Diablo is nowhere to be seen whatsoever.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I mean, they kind. It does make sense in a sense where it's like they kind of die. But also, I know, like, you kill them in the other games.

[Bob]

But also, who cares?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It's game, right?

[Wade]

So they're building it back up, and I think their plan is, like, okay, this game's gonna last 10 years, like every Diablo game does. And we're gonna release some DLCs, and slowly we'll build back up. Diablo will come out eventually. And that's like. That's a really cool concept, except for when the game first comes out and you're like, all right, Lilith's dead. Now we're fighting Lieutenant Squid. Who? I made that up.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

But it's like, Squid sounds pretty cool. Tell me more about Lieutenant Squid.

[Wade]

Lieutenant Squid. He's that guy who was an intern for Lilith. You killed Lilith, the big bad. But now Lieutenant Squid stepping in, and you got to fight the intern because they're saving the baddies for five years from now. But you stay interested. Interested. But trust me, in five years, you keep playing, you're gonna get to fight one of the big baddies. Lieutenant Squid. And Private Penis. And Private Penis. I'm a little scared of Private Commander Cum Stain. I don't know, man. Just, like, I Forget when Diablo 4 is, what, like, two years old now? And the second paid DLC is when we maybe get to fight the first actual Big Bad. So I get it. But also at the same time, I'm kind of like, I can see why people maybe are falling off a little bit, but the game, it's fun. Right now the Paladin is a fun class.

[Bob]

Class.

[Wade]

I'm excited to see what the other class is going to be. So I'm cautiously optimistic for Lord of Hatred because it's like, okay, now we get to sink our teeth into like one of the Big Bads and they've made some of these fights tough. Really hope that the Big Bads feel like Big Bads because so far fighting Lilith, there's like a Lilith and game encounter that's still, to me the hardest fight. And I feel like Mephisto Bail and Diablo should be the hardest fight. So we'll see. And not that I'm usually one for challenges, but like, just feels like that.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Should be right, you know, I mean, at a certain point in Diablo 3, it got so fast that it's like I enter the boss arena and you know, the big spider guy who's like.

[Wade]

He'S instantly dead and I'm just like.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Spinning because I'm a barber.

[Wade]

Like, thankfully, they've kind of. Some of the boss fights can still go like that, but they've got like world boss encounters and like overworld encounters where people can group up and fight the bosses together. And there was a while where there were game breaking class builds that would do that, that. But they've somehow. I don't know if they nerfed like they capped damage you could do per hitter. They did something where it slowed those fights down. And now they're actually legitimate fights. You can still go into some boss encounters and just wipe them in like two hits. But some of like the overworld fights last like five minutes. No matter how good your build is.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

That's interesting. At least that keeps it, you know, engaging because it was a little boring when it was just a race to how quickly you can spam your way through everything.

[Wade]

I think they've balanced the game. I think a lot more things are decently balanced and a lot more classes have viable builds now it's not just like everyone's playing Blood Wave, Necromancer or whatever. So cautiously optimistic because Diablo has been a big part of my life since 1999.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right, well, we'll look forward to the Lord of Hatred and how to kill him. Bob, what is you got anyway?

[Bob]

Nintendo ip. This is coming out. It's not dated, but It's. It's scheduled for sometime this year. I think they maybe said maybe spring, but it's not set. New Yoshi's. I.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

What? No way.

[Bob]

It's called Yoshi and the Mysterious Book. Coming out for the Switch 2. I was not a huge. Like, I'm not going to pretend like I've always been a huge fan of platformers. I don't generally like platforming games. They make me really frustrated. But I like watching them. And specifically I have a lot of nostalgic memories watching the N64 Yoshi's island game. And like the music is like etched into my memories of like all the Yoshi singing and being like.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Such a bubbly game, such an iconically distinct game.

[Bob]

The teaser trailer for the new Yoshi and the Mysterious Book game looks like the vibes are right. The tone looks funny. It has some mechanics that look like references to the N64 games. It has some new looking mechanics. It looks like it'll be really fun. And if it has good music and the same like it captures that vibe, I'm excited for that. I think that's gonna be delightful.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Really good. I mean I really liked. I think I feel like I remember something else about Yoshi's island coming out just a couple years ago. Did you mention that or did I blank out in the middle of that?

[Bob]

I don't know that I mentioned that.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

But like there was a different one or a remaster or something like that.

[Wade]

They did an online release in 2019. Super NES Classic Edition 2017. I was trying to see if there were other things about it because I thought I heard something.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It must have been a re release. Yeah, because I remember seeing it. Oh no. I'm thinking of Super Mario rpg. They did a remaster of that and I started playing that and that was it. No, but they didn't.

[Bob]

That's right.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yoshi's island was separate from that. But I knew Yoshi's island was great. I can't believe they didn't pick that IP up sooner because it was such a fun, different thing. The mechanic of like platforming and then the throwing was just. Yeah, it worked. It just worked really well. Anyway, that'll.

[Wade]

That'll be very fun.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I like Yoshi's Island. I don't know if I'll play it though, but. Just haven't had time. But.

[Wade]

All right.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

We only got time for a few more. If there's anything else out there.

[Wade]

I have one more. I can try to find another, but I've got. Only got one more on my list at the moment. We gotta get back and finish Sons of the forest. Because Forest 3 was also announced. Oh, boy. And, man, the meme of ha.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Wade]

As I threw logs at you guys has really still lived with me forever.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Wait, wait, you guys.

[Wade]

Wait.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Three logs at you guys? Wait, wait.

[Wade]

You threw logs at me? It was targeted. You both were doing it. No, no, I'm pretty sure I threw logs at you guys.

[Bob]

What Wade said. What Wade said.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

You guys. I'm still salty about that.

[Bob]

You're so salty that you went on your own and played the game so you could enjoy it. That's so, so fucking funny to me that, like, you were just like, never mind that. Never mind those assholes. I just want to see what happens in this game.

[Wade]

Oh, we were so successful, were we? It.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

That game also just was not the same. It didn't for some reason. I don't know. It was very similar, but just didn't have the same kind of like, all right, we can sink our teeth right here and we can figure this out. And it's like, it was too big. It was too spread out. It didn't make sense. I couldn't tell the difference between the different locations. It was like my head was upside down all the time. I liked how contained the other one was. So I don't know if this one's going to go even bigger or something, but, you know, it might.

[Wade]

No, no, but Force three announced.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Okay. Tell me about it.

[Wade]

That's all I know because I don't watch the trailers. I don't want spoilers.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Okay, Forest 3.

[Wade]

I wonder if there was a spoiler for Sons of the Forest, which we're definitely gonna go back and finish.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Oh, for sure, for sure.

[Wade]

Also, apparently, a game called Raft that we need to play that we've never heard of. I don't know.

[Bob]

Never heard of. It sounds terrible.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

This is our Achilles heel. We'll do a series that will be unbelievably popular. Everyone loves them, views are astronomical and will be like, whatever.

[Bob]

Wait, but we actually finished Raft. It took several circling backs. The reason we stopped playing that was because every time we stopped playing it, we, like, finished the content that was out for the game. Right? Well, the. The first time we played it, we, like, got to the big dome city, and then there wasn't anything beyond that, and we were like, that's right. I guess we're done. And then when they released more, we circled back, but we got to the end of that and we were like, like, I guess we're done. I will say the last time, I don't think we finished it where you. They unlocked the shops and the island and the bar, the trading system and all that. But I think we just stopped playing it. But initially we did, like, finish it. It just was in early access, so it wasn't like a whole. Like it wasn't the whole game yet. So we. There was nothing else for us to do. We did. We did our best. But also, yeah, I don't. If people like something, it makes me immediately want to stop playing it.

[Wade]

Average content creator mindset. Oh, this is doing really well. I should never play it again, ever.

[Bob]

Just, I love this game, but suddenly I could not be bothered. Just fuck that game forever.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

We're just built different. Wrong but different, you know.

[Wade]

That'S why Mark only ever played one FNAF game.

[Bob]

This one feels kind of lame to me, but there's like a fandom for this. There's a new Mario Tennis game slated for 2026.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I like Mario Tennis.

[Bob]

I really. I've always liked the Mario sports games. I liked Mario Strikers. I really like Mario Tennis. Even Mario and Sonic. The Olympics fun. Not exactly the same as the rest of the sports game. Mario Golf. Very fun. The Switch Mario Golf game played that a fair bit. I'm excited that the new tennis game is going to be on Switch 2, because I really like Switch 2 as, like, a handheld. It's bigger and it's like, big enough that I don't get hand cramps when I play it. And so I actually might like, bring it if I'm traveling or bring it on vacation or whatever. But like, I'm not like, super excited about that. But I just always kind of look forward to, like, the new Mario Sport games. They're like all. Even the ones that aren't great. They're like, always good. I was like, worth playing for me anyway. I like sports games, so I've never.

[Wade]

Played one of those. I loved Wii Tennis. Is Mario Tennis similar to how it feels when you're playing it?

[Bob]

It's not. It's not motion controls. It's you, you. It's. It's like controller controls. You control the character and run around the court and stuff. But there's.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah, this is not going to help as a comparison, but it's like Super Mario Strikers was for soccer in that it's. It's actually a surprisingly tight sports game.

[Wade]

But that's fair. I've played sports games. I played like, you know, football, basketball, so on and so forth. So I imagine it's Just similar to that. Those can be really fun. But there was something about the Wii Tennis other than me breaking my aunt's light that was really fun. I really loved the swinging of the Wii stuff. But there was one more. I forgot about that.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I don't.

[Wade]

I don't know if we talked about or not. Larian Studios, who made Baldur's Gate 3. They have divinity coming out.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

That was. I mentioned the trailer.

[Wade]

I was confused though, because I thought whenever they announced, seemed like it wasn't going to be turn based like Baldur's Gate. But then in a follow up post they're like, it's going to be turn based but brought to the next level.

[Bob]

Aren't the divinity games turn based?

[Wade]

But I thought, I thought this one was going to be different. Wasn't going to be. And I don't know where I got that. I thought during the game Awards, someone like, something went viral about how this one wasn't going to be like, that's interesting. But then they're like, this will be turn based but to the next level. I don't know how that works but.

[Bob]

But yeah, I'm not. I'm not at all a Baldur Skate or Larian aficionado. But isn't that like what they do isn't turn. If it wasn't turn based, wouldn't it kind of not be a Larian title? Isn't that their thing? They're very, very, very good at it. Obviously they've been super successful.

[Wade]

So I thought it was scary that they were going away from it. So I think I'm kind of relieved but also a bit confused at the.

[Bob]

Like, yeah, I get why that's interesting.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right, man. They.

[Wade]

That.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

That trailer. You see the trailer though?

[Wade]

Nope, don't watch the those.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, all right, I guess we'll stop talking.

[Bob]

Shut up, Mark.

[Wade]

You can talk about it. I just don't know it.

[Bob]

Nah, nobody watched those. Nobody watched those.

[Wade]

No, I don't watch Game Awards. I don't care. I just look at the list of things that come out after I didn't.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Watch the Game Awards. I just saw the trailer.

[Bob]

You just watched the trailer. I didn't watch the award show, but you watch the trailers.

[Wade]

They're teaser trailers.

[Bob]

Be teased. You have to watch them to be teased. Otherwise you're not teased at all.

[Wade]

Don't want to be teased. Just want to see the announcement of what's coming out. They give away too much, man. Trailers sometimes give away too much modern trailers.

[Bob]

This little title called GTA 6 is slated to come out in November. I anticipate that's going to be delayed to the next year. So I wouldn't get too excited about it.

[Wade]

That's probably also true.

[Bob]

We'll see that in June of 2027 at the earliest. Guaranteed.

[Wade]

They also released their trailer a while ago. Like the couple going around.

[Bob]

You don't watch those, so.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah, you don't want them.

[Wade]

I watched that one.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right, we're closing it up. That's all the games are going to be. No more games. If any other game developer was hoping to get their game out in 2026, just give up.

[Bob]

Give up.

[Wade]

You can't do this.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Let's tally this bullshit. All right, Bob, you get. You got an award point you got. All right, so. So this might be a record. James earned you three points because each punch line was funnier than the last.

[Bob]

All right.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Cheese can't talk, Crackers can't talk. And I'm afraid and all of its derivatives. So you have to four pod racer, game, Slay the Spire 2007, Yoshi's island and Mario Tennis, which is nine. I for some reason didn't do the thumb on that one. Nine. All right, Wade, you got an award point. You have a lie point. We all remember the rules about what that means.

[Wade]

Oh, I knew what was coming and I didn't disappoint with it. What I knew.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yep, you got a horrible, horrible point. You got Old Republic, 2030, the boys odd Hat Job, the Lord of Hatred, Forestry and Divinity turn based, which puts you at at eight plus a lie point. So it's eight and a lie.

[Bob]

That's almost nine.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Almost nine would be nine with that lie. But we'll see where that goes.

[Wade]

Oh, we all knew what was happening when that lie point came out. Wheels up, boys.

[Bob]

How many spins will there be? I should.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

We should implement putting bets on the number of spins and get bet points.

[Bob]

On how many spins. 2. It landed on 2.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I bet too put talked about games the most in this case.

[Wade]

I think that'd be Bob because I took talks about shows twice, right?

[Bob]

Pretty much. Two spins. Spin number one. Yay.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Ben.

[Wade]

Number one. Spin number one.

[Bob]

Best comeback.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Who said. Who said Lord Commander come stain. Was that Wade? Was that you?

[Wade]

Is that a comeback? I'll take it.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

It's the only thing that's come related that I can think of in this episode.

[Wade]

Hey, I'll take it. I won't argue, man. I'll take them.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right. It's nine and nine with a lie. It's either all Tied or something else. I don't remember what.

[Bob]

What happens with the lie points if we don't get any lie points on the wheel?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

There's lie wheel spots.

[Bob]

Oh, no. Best Scottish accent. Perform if necessary.

[Wade]

Here we go.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Who wants to go first? Should I flip? I'll flip a coin.

[Bob]

Oh, good.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right. Heads weighed, tails bow. Oh my God. I swear. I swear. You got. You saw it, didn't it went.

[Wade]

It was already going there.

[Bob]

All right.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Tails, Bob.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Uh huh. All right. Oh, listen here, laddie. You best be giving me this point. Oh, just a wee bit of points for your friend, Bob. I can't tell if more is hurting me or. Or helping me at this point, but.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Well, yeah, I don't know know.

[Bob]

Let's.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Let's wait until we hear whoever the other one is.

[Wade]

That hurts. You can take my points, but I can never take my victory.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I'm gonna lie, Bob. That was pretty good.

[Bob]

I don't know. We were allowed to scream.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

There's practically no rules here, but I think I gotta give that to Wade. That was.

[Bob]

Look, look, it's all relative, right? Mine for. For me, for my pre. Compared to my previous performances, that may be the best Scottish accent anyone has ever put on.

[Wade]

I'm always great at my performances.

[Bob]

Yeah, well, Wade's barely improved at all, if at all. Wade's. Wade's is as good as ever, which is arguably good, but mine was so much improved.

[Wade]

Can I change my wheel edition to most improved Scottish accent instead of most games?

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Cuz I hear you. I hear you out, man.

[Bob]

I do.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

I do.

[Bob]

I'll do that. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna tell you no.

[Wade]

I can't ever improve.

[Bob]

Improve.

[Wade]

I'm just. I'm perfectly Scottish.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Yeah. So this. This way we have a distinction and we know which one. We're counting the point for most improved or good in the moment, so there's room for anybody to get these.

[Bob]

What did you add, Mark? Video talked about video games the most. Nope.

[Markiplier (Mark)]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Yep. Maybe. Yes.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

There you go.

[Bob]

Perfect. That feels fair. I think that. I think that's a fair resolution. I'll take the.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

And with that. Congratulations, Wade. Even without the lie point, you eked out that victory with that Scottish accent. Congratulations.

[Wade]

Thank you. Thank you. As it was foretold, whenever that lie point first appeared, I knew how this was all going to play out. I saw the way this was coming along. Unintended victory was inevitable. As am I. I'm in your house. House. I'm on your screen. I'm in your ears. Look upon me, for I am the bald and you can never forget.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Okay, you know, it's. It's not the weirdest winner's speech we've had, so. Bob, loser speech.

[Bob]

Look, I just want to say that fair is fair, but that Scottish accent thing has come up way more times than I ever thought it would, and I did not understand when I allowed that to be added. Added to the wheel, what a disadvantage I was putting for myself out into the universe. But it's on the wheel, and I have no authority to remove it. And I think you were very generous to put the most improved Scottish accent point on the wheel. So I'm going to take that as a moral victory, even though I have an actual loss on the episode for today, so I feel pretty bad still, but that's fine.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Thank you for taking it so gracious. Graciously thank you, everybody, for taking this episode so graciously as the first one of the year. Really sets the tone for the whole year until the council episode where we change everything, which I don't know why we don't do that around New Year's.

[Bob]

But, hey, don't question things. What? Don't poke holes. Come on, 25 days.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Are we gonna die?

[Wade]

And lung.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

Oh. Oh, okay. All right.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Host (likely Mark or another main host)]

All right. Yeah. Yeah, Absolutely. Hey, check out these guys. My Skrim. Lordminion777 or Minion777. My name has been Markiplier. I made a movie. But more importantly, there's merch. What's that in Wade's boxes? It's new distractable merch, now available exclusively at Distractable Shop. Get them now, or else they'll end up on Wade's floor forever. Go enjoy some merch. Follow the podcast. For more podcast out.

[Markiplier (Mark)]

Watch new episodes on Spotify.