Bad Mood

Summary

Distractible Podcast — "Bad Mood" (February 20, 2026)

Episode Overview

In "Bad Mood," hosts Bob Muyskens, Mark Fischbach, and Wade Barnes explore the thorny topic of getting into and handling bad moods. Drawing inspiration from an episode of the children’s show "Bluey" and their own recent emotional funks, the conversation quickly spirals into playful self-therapy, stories of tantrums, introspective revelations, and classic Distractible banter. The episode balances humor and honesty as each host shares how they behave when grumpy, how those moods affect loved ones, and what (if anything) they do to cope or grow from them.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Initial Banter and Setting the Stage (03:47–09:00)

• Host Rotation & Point System: Bob opens as host, reminding listeners of the game's mechanics and bantering with Mark and Wade about possible biases in awarding points.
• Small Talk & Weather: Discussion of regional weather differences (sunny LA for Mark, warming Cincinnati for Wade) segues into the possibility of snow in LA, leading to jokes about “Snowmageddon”.
• Tech Talk: Mark plans to revamp his recording setup, expressing frustration with old peripherals. This turns into a comedic mispronunciation of "Neumann" microphones and poking fun at audio purists.

“Sound. Clip that. Forever clip that. Send me the wav file. … You’re going to be playing a game and you’re just going to hear your own voice as a goblin comes in.”
– Mark (05:34)

Marvel, Merch, and Arcane Weaponry Digressions (09:00–12:50)

• Marvel Joke Flops: A failed Marvel reference leads to gentle ribbing of Wade and Mark about niche humor.
• Discussion of Weapons: Mark and Bob show off bullets and arcade “weapons,” poking fun at podcast props that listeners can’t see.
• Interview Intimidation Story: Mark relates accidentally intimidating a job candidate by leaving a giant knife and a note saying, “I sharpened it for you, Jason,” on his desk (12:00), riffing on unintended workplace intimidation.

Not Being "Ha Ha" Funny & Friendship Dynamics (13:31–16:54)

• On Joke Reception: Wade confesses to craving laughter but often gets polite “That’s funny” instead. The hosts dissect compliment dynamics and how it relates to self-worth in friendships.
• Foundations of the Show: Wade jokes he’s the “pillar” the others stand on, craving just enough appreciation to not crumble.

“I’m like Pennywise, except for instead of fear, I need laughter.”
– Wade (11:57)

Topic Introduction – Bad Moods (18:07)

Bob pivots into the episode’s core subject:

• Personal Confession: Bob admits to frequent bad moods lately and extremely poor coping (“If someone does something nice for me when I’m in a bad mood, I’m like, f*ck off. I don’t deserve nice stuff right now.” – 19:12), expressing guilt for lashing out at loved ones.
• Therapy Request: He asks the others for advice or stories, saying: “Help me. Therapize me.” (19:59)

How Each Host Handles Bad Moods

Bob: The Self-Isolator (18:07–23:40)

• When upset, Bob prefers to shut himself away, resisting attempts by others (like his wife Mandy) to cheer him up, growing more irritated if people try too hard.
• Admits to having been more prone to “shoving it down” when single, realizing cohabitation makes his moods others’ problem too.

Wade: The People-Pleaser with Rare Tantrums (23:40–26:10; 30:36–32:44)

• Shares a story of slamming his desk in rage, accidentally making a mess with food and drink, and feeling immediately sillier for it:

  “Me acting like baby makes mess. Like, baby, now I’ve got to clean up this mess… I deserve this.”
  – Wade (24:46)

• Explains his lifelong compulsion to "please everyone," tracing it back to childhood family splits and the pressure to never make anyone sad.
• Admits he internalizes most bad moods and rarely vents, instead helping everyone else first.

Mark: The People "Un-Pleaser" Who Needs Amy as His Check (26:13–29:40; 32:47–34:17)

• Mark notes that when he’s grumpy, he intentionally avoids responding to people—even to texts received at exactly the wrong time.
• Tends to isolate and sometimes take a contrarian approach, refusing joy if it's offered at inopportune moments.
• His biggest self-therapy is Amy, who can deflate a tantrum with a simple, honest call-out:

  “Amy’s like, you’re being a dick. And I’m like, I’m being a dick. I’m instantly—”
  – Mark (27:40)

Realizations and Emotional Growth

• Bob: Recent awareness that being in a relationship means others are inadvertently punished for his moods, especially if he’s dismissive of their help.
• Wade: Recognizes that rationalizing a mood (“I’ve dealt with worse, why should this bother me?”) rarely works, but hasn’t conquered his tendency to suppress personal needs.
• Mark: Tries not to fall into old patterns of self-defeating stubbornness, but stress can bring out petulant, “opposite day” behavior.

The “Monkey, Ladder, Banana” Restaurant Experiment Analogy (40:36-42:29)

• Mark tells the “monkey ladder” experiment to compare restaurant staff’s irritation at late-arriving customers to how habits/fears are passed down “just because.”

  “It got to the point where they started replacing so many [monkeys] that there was no monkey that had ever been sprayed with water. But they would still beat the **** out of the new monkey, right?... I think that might be that.”
  – Mark (41:34)

Bonus Stories & Memorable Moments

• Workplace Customer Service: All hosts commiserate over late-night retail and restaurant shifts, discussing awkward customer interactions—especially those that make closing up extra annoying. (43:43–45:25)
• Roleplay Therapy: Mark and Wade act out how to (poorly) rebuff a customer clamoring for a milkshake after closing—a comedic take on boundary-setting (46:15–46:45).
• Strange Habits from Retail Jobs: Wade admits being conditioned to greet people anytime he hears a store door “ding,” no matter where he is.

Bathroom Etiquette and Social Anxiety (48:25–53:34)

• Spirals into tales of bathroom etiquette: Wade is permanently wary of public restrooms after a fan approached him for a selfie mid-urinal.
• Bob over-strategizes about every public restroom trip (“What if our fingers touch while he’s handing it [toilet paper] to me. What does that mean?” – 50:22).
• Mark riffs on the fear of inadvertently signaling for sex in restrooms post-political scandal.
• The trio riff on being “piss snipers,” handling awkward situations, and further expanding their self-mocking, vulnerable, and absurdist brand.

Closing: Points, Winner, and Wrap-Up (53:36–58:30)

• Bob methodically tallies points for each host’s stories, jokes, and laughs.
• The winner is decided via a convoluted (and comedic) wheel/coin flip system. Wade triumphs (54:52).
• Mark delivers a sarcastic “loser speech,” Bob reiterates the group’s mutual respect (and fun needling), and the hosts preview the next episode.

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

“If someone does something nice for me when I’m in a bad mood, I’m like, fuck off. I don’t deserve nice stuff right now."
— Bob (19:12)

“It’s not like I, I shove it down and never deal with it, but it takes a long time to do that. And there are way more efficient ways to deal with stuff emotionally… But often if Mandy is like, look, I’m trying to be nice to you, but you’re being a piece of shit, I’m immediately like…oh, you’re right.”
— Bob (29:03-29:22)

“Me acting like baby makes mess. Like, baby, now I’ve got to clean up this mess that I made because I was being a big [baby] for no reason. I deserve this.”
— Wade (24:46)

“Amy’s like, you’re being a dick. And I’m like, I’m being a dick. I’m instantly—”
— Mark (27:40)

“Nothing pisses me off more than a poorly timed text... I’m intentionally not responding for a while.”
— Mark (32:47)

“My new mic is Gonna be a warm audio y000.”
— Mark (16:12)

“I’m like Pennywise, except for instead of fear, I need laughter.”
— Wade (11:57)

“Why are you pissing so far away from the urinal? You could just kind of like, hey, don’t.”
— Mark (51:32)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Narrative Episode Introduction: 02:54–03:47
• Topic Revealed: Bad Mood: 18:07
• Wade's Desk Tantrum Story: 23:47–25:24
• Mark's Amy Therapy Check: 27:40
• Bob on Internalizing and Realization: 29:03–30:36
• Wade’s Childhood People-Pleasing: 30:36–32:44
• Monkey Ladder Restaurant Analogy: 40:36–42:29
• Retail/Bathroom Etiquette Stories: 48:25–53:34
• Winner Decided (Wheel Spin): 54:45–56:01

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Overall Tone and Style

The episode is quintessential Distractible: meandering, self-aware, and alternating between silly, sincere, and snarky. The hosts maintain their signature blend of irreverence, unfiltered story-sharing, and self-deprecation, but underpin the humor with real talk about growth and emotional health. They roast each other mercilessly, but there's a palpable undercurrent of friendship and support—even (or especially) when exploring their less-flattering moments.

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Final Thoughts

"Bad Mood" demonstrates Distractible’s strength: candid, comedic explorations of real-life struggles. Listeners get not only laughs, but also a rare peek behind the curtain at how three popular entertainers process emotions, navigate relationships, and try (however messily) to do better.

Winner: Wade
Next Episode Host: Wade

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For further laughs and relatable insight, check out the full episode—just maybe not when you’re in a bad mood yourself!

Transcript

[Bob]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. It happens. Set out in the new year, ready to change your world. And by February, you're back into your old routine, doing all the same stuff. It happens. We've all been there. It happens. This year I'm going to try. I actually do have a plan. I wouldn't say it's fully in place, but I'm going to put in the effort so it'd be healthier. You know. The key to accomplishing a New Year's resolution is to keep it simple. Like using Shopify for your business. It has everything you need. Templates to help design what you want, tools to run things, and a way to sell anywhere, including across social media. Shopify makes you look like you have it all figured out, even when you don't.

[Mark]

Did you know that we run our merch store for this show through Shopify? And I think there's a merch store for some sports podcast or something. Follow through on your goals with Shopify. Go to shopify.com distractible and make it happen. Join us and millions of others who have started their own [e-mail] distractible. This episode is brought to you by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay guys, show break. And you know what that means.

[Wade]

We talking t mobile 5G home Internet?

[Mark]

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[Bob]

Are you serious?

[Mark]

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[Bob]

If only everything else in life were that easy.

[Mark]

Yup. But t mobile 5G home Internet. The fastest 5G home Internet with simple setup and a great price with savings that stick.

[Wade]

Say that again. But at the fastest 5G speed.

[Mark]

Bet you can't. Nope. Get these fast 5G speeds for yourself. Check [e-mail] Home Internet Price Guarantee Exclusives like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ooklu Speed test intelligence data. Second half 2025. All rates reserved.

[Bob]

Yup.

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[Mark]

This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T mobile 5G home Internet.

[Bob]

The folks over at T Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home Internet according to the experts at OOKLA Speed Test.

[Wade]

So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a 5 year price guarantee, visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check availability.

[Mark]

Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on OOKLA Speed test intelligence data second half 2020. All rights reserved.

[Narrator]

Good evening gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, blasting Bob snubs Marvel shows his ballistic brilliance, then begs to be therapized. Wicked Wade the blower becomes Pennywise, gets funny fuzzies, throws tantrums and rationalizes rage. New McMark predicts snow in paradise, plans are spring clean, threatens interviewees people unpleases and gets grumpy. From Goblin mode to corporate stall meetings.

[Bob]

Yes,

[Narrator]

it's time for bad Mood. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[Bob]

Hello and welcome to another episode of Distractable. That's right, I'm your host, the guy who's in this room today. No, it's not Mark, it's me. I'm in weird places. My name's Bob. I'm hosting because I won the last one, despite all that stuff I said in it. And I'm joined today, as always, by my two competitors, co hosts Mark and Wade. Hi.

[Mark]

I'm gonna say a bunch of stuff today. Who knows where it's going to take me.

[Bob]

Probably right to the top.

[Wade]

I'm going to say some stuff today which will take me to the top two, right?

[Bob]

Almost guaranteed. Probably. Anyway, if you've never been here before, I always host this episode while sitting in an unpowered Halo fireteam Raven Arcade cabinet. That's why I have this thing in my hands. Also, as the host, I will be giving the boys some sort of game or prompt or whatever. We'll talk about it and I'll give them points, which I'll write down on this book thing, which is not my usual one, but whatever, and. And then there I'll be a winner and they host the next one. That's how it works.

[Mark]

Could I introduce some bias early on into the episode?

[Bob]

Okay.

[Mark]

Okay. So think about it this way, right? If I were to win, that would give me enough time. Now that I have all this free time. And I'm probably going to blast through all the dungeon crawler Carl books in the next, like, day or two. So I'll have a bunch of. I'll be so desperate for time. I'll be able to spend time to make the perfectest crime episode ready for the next recording session.

[Bob]

Bang.

[Wade]

Boom.

[Mark]

It'll be the greatest episode to distract. You could be on the precipice. This obviously won't be the greatest episode distractible ever. Obviously, obviously. But if you fabricate a reality where I win despite all my shortcomings, don't make a joke about that.

[Wade]

You got tall comings, not shortcomings.

[Mark]

Sound. Clip that. Forever clip that. Send me the wav file. I'm going to use that in everything. I'll just send it to game developers. You're going to wait, you're going to be playing a game and you're just going to hear your own voice as a goblin comes in. You're putting me in a game.

[Wade]

I know you're making one.

[Bob]

Yay. No, no.

[Mark]

I must send it to game developers. I'm not going to do that.

[Wade]

I wouldn't even recognize me. Thankfully, Bob, if you make me win,

[Mark]

all this can be not yours, but, you know, mine.

[Bob]

I'm one poor choice away from just declaring that mark wins right now and ending all of our sufferings.

[Wade]

That would be a record for shortest episode ever.

[Bob]

I mean, where would the fun be in that? And you might have a lie point on the books already for teasing us with the perfectest crime. Oh, because it's a lie. Anyway, how's it going? You guys got any small talk? And Wade, you want to introduce your own bias? You got any selling points?

[Wade]

Hey, I'm Wade, and as you heard, I'm Wicked Witch of the Bald. So I'm here to entertain, scare, and fly around on my snow blower because that's what we have in Cincinnati, snow shovels and blowers. But it's warm. The snow is melting. And whenever it gets to be warm outside, I'm going to go on my first outside walk of the year. Inside walks not as fun. Outside walks much more fun.

[Bob]

Dude, outside walks. Damn. That's crazy.

[Mark]

I got to tell you, it is so warm. It is so beautiful here in glorious Los Angeles. The rains that were coming through here. It just rained again yesterday.

[Wade]

Rain.

[Mark]

Rain. Yeah, rain.

[Wade]

I forgot snow could be melted when it falls far. Go ahead.

[Mark]

Not only that, there is apparently an approaching cold snap that will bring snow to LA next week.

[Wade]

Take it. Take it.

[Bob]

It's.

[Mark]

It's probably only going to be up in higher elevations here in la, but from what I hear, it's going to dip down to the 40s and then the 30s here. And it's going to be a. During a moisture event. So it's going to be likely. I mean, they're already predicting on the mountaintops it's going to be full blanket Snow coverage, like 2ft of snow up on the top. But there's a chance we'll catch some flakes drifting our way. You know, just. And that would be, that would be astonishing. Amy is actually thinking of. Actually by the time this episode comes out, this has already passed. So we'll know if we're buried and died in a blizzard. But Amy's thinking of canceling a trip that she had because she's never seen snow here. It's like if she leaves and doesn't catch it, who knows when it would ever happen again. But then I said, I mean, obviously it'll happen again next year because this ain't gonna get better. So, you know,

[Bob]

and isn't that just a fun, light hearted joke we all love to laugh about?

[Mark]

Anyway, I get. I'm getting a new microphone as well.

[Bob]

What kind of thing?

[Mark]

So I'm trying out a different microphone because they discontinued. I mean, Blue just got bought by Logitech and so they discontinued a lot of the other models. And I, I never really liked this microphone that much anyway. So I'm trying out a warm audio something. 8,000.

[Wade]

That's a big number.

[Bob]

That is a big number. All 7,000, 999 of the other models must be jealous.

[Wade]

I remember when Tony Stark got in the newest Iron man suit and said, I hear you. 8000 was my favorite moment. Laugh.

[Bob]

I don't know enough things about Marvel to understand that joke.

[Wade]

Sorry, it's. It was, it was aimed at a very specific member of the audience. Just one. You got it right, Tim.

[Bob]

Hey, just because nobody likes your weird niche superhero movies doesn't mean it's a bad joke, buddy. I'm sure somebody got that.

[Mark]

Anyway, in the relevancy of the now, you know, not then I also realized that a lot of my peripherals in my computer setup are really jank and old. And I have spent a long time accumulating a lot of crap. Like my Xbox controller doesn't even have a cover on it anymore. And I don't know why I put batteries on it because I don't have a wireless dongle for it. Like, I don't know, man. Given that I have Spent so much time and effort building up all this computer crap for all these render farms. I think I'm finally going to do an overhaul of my entire computer recording setup. Give it, give it some love. I'm going to clean up this stuff. I'm going to do a whole, whole polishing of everything. There's a bullet.

[Wade]

Is it covered in goop?

[Bob]

Is it goopy or post goopy?

[Wade]

I don't know if you can show those on podcasts.

[Mark]

Yeah, they definitely have gun podcasts where there's like walls of guns behind them and there's just like guns on the

[Bob]

T. Not that I'm aware of.

[Wade]

I've never been able to see ourselves full frame. So whatever you just held up was completely not in sight for me. It was a dead bolter.

[Mark]

It was a big bullet, huge bullet.

[Wade]

I believe it. It was like a 01.

[Bob]

It's a 5.76767. Is that the thing?

[Mark]

Is it possible for bullets to just go off?

[Wade]

And I mean spontaneous combustion's a thing. So I'm sure. So spontaneous shoot is a thing.

[Bob]

I'm sure it's not impossible, but I feel like I'd be surprised if that happened with something like that.

[Mark]

I don't know, like if it, if it fell and it hit something just right that hit the firing pin, would the bullet go off?

[Wade]

Would it.

[Mark]

It wouldn't be able to go with as much speed because it'd just be kind of like a.

[Bob]

No, it wouldn't have. It doesn't have a barrel. Right. It would only be propelled with whatever the casing could hold. But the casing would probably explode. It would probably not be good.

[Mark]

Yeah. Not great.

[Wade]

Yeah, it's like this little Halloween or Halloween. There's a fourth of July fire poppers you throw at the ground. It's like, just like that.

[Mark]

I bet, I bet I'll throw it real hard to the ground.

[Wade]

I'll tell you what happens. But with metal fragments flying everywhere, which is probably good.

[Mark]

Yeah, probably. Anyway, it fell off the desk the other day and I had that thought as it was going towards the ground. So I'm fine.

[Bob]

That's fine. I'm sure it's fine. It wouldn't do that with these huge bullets.

[Mark]

I got next to be these gigantic, very manly, very dead meat eating bullets, you know, around me.

[Bob]

I wouldn't know anything about having weapons in my area.

[Mark]

I see two blurs. I see one slightly blue blur and then I see some shiny off of it. And then I see it.

[Bob]

They're very cool arcade weapons. Don't you worry about it.

[Wade]

Only weapon I need is luck. Don't have it. I got this dice.

[Mark]

No one laughed. No one laugh at that. No one.

[Wade]

Tim.

[Bob]

Tim. He feeds off your laughings.

[Wade]

I do. I'm like Pennywise, except for instead of fear, I need laughter.

[Mark]

So that actually reminds me. Weird. I had a pretty funny scenario. So I was working on cloak stuff and we were interviewing someone for a new position. And on my desk where I was interviewing, Jason had found a knife just in storage. Like we're going through storage. And there was just so happened to be a knife. There wasn't mine, but he was like, this must be yours. So he's like, he set it on my desk as I'm getting this guy that's being interviewed in coming in. And on the desk is a big fucking knife. Like, it's like a foot long with a. With a letter on it that says, hey, found this knife and I sharpened it for you, Jason. And I had to go to the guy like, look, this is an intimidation thing. It's just, it's. I don't know where this came from. I. I've never seen this before.

[Wade]

So let's talk Sal.

[Mark]

Anyway, it was very understanding. So it all worked out. No one, no one was threatened or scared or anything.

[Bob]

That's exactly what someone who was very threatened and scared would say. Yes, Mr. Markiplier. I'm not scared, Mr. Markiplier.

[Mark]

How do you know that guy?

[Wade]

I've met every Jason in the planet.

[Mark]

No, Jason wasn't who I was interviewing. The guy interviewing didn't.

[Wade]

I met every interviewee in the planet.

[Bob]

I just want to sell some shirts. I Love your designs, Mr. Markiplier.

[Mark]

Your voice sounds so familiar.

[Wade]

Oh, well, you're hired now you're fired. Here's your severance pay.

[Mark]

Oh, that's good. That's better than joke I was gonna made.

[Wade]

That was good because you both laughed so hard at

[Bob]

wasn't funny. It was just legit.

[Wade]

You know, there's an epic rap battle with George Carlin versus Richard Pryor. And one of the things is, like, when I tell jokes, people laugh. When you tell jokes, people go, hmm, that's funny. I feel like I'm the guy. People go, that's funny. The compliments of like, not laughing but being told, man, funny. Really the same. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. People tell me funny.

[Mark]

I do that. I feel like I do that a lot. And I apologize because I do go, no, that's funny. I do that a lot.

[Wade]

I get that a lot.

[Bob]

Here.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Wade]

I don't know.

[Bob]

You do that to me, too. Wait a minute.

[Mark]

No, but to. You know, it's really funny when it's.

[Wade]

You wa. Hold on. What are you really funny?

[Mark]

Look, you're both really funny.

[Bob]

Trust me.

[Wade]

Oh, okay.

[Bob]

Thanks.

[Wade]

Oh, no, I fell for it again. I got a low sense motive against his charisma. Rolls.

[Mark]

Yep. Everything else, all my other stats, way low. But my charisma.

[Bob]

I can't wait to hear your new microphone, Mark. I'm sure I'll notice.

[Mark]

I mean, I don't. I doubt that it's going to sound any better, but I think from a functionality standpoint, it'll just be a little nicer. That's all I'm really hoping for. Because this one, it has, like this weird SW head on the top part of it, but there's no real point to that. And I feel like, all in all, the ergonomics of this thing are just like. I don't like the way I have it. It's not very elegant and I. It bothers me.

[Bob]

Not this microphone, but my mic at my home desk. Setup is. It sounds good. It's good mic, but it's really tall. And then it has like a big ball thing on top and, like, it's just real awkward. I get that it's aesthetic, it looks cool, but I don't care. I don't want it on camera. I'd like if it was much more compact and ergonomically designed, but I'm using a Newman.

[Wade]

It's a Newman. TLM107. I think he's using a Newman.

[Bob]

How would you have that? So bitch forever.

[Wade]

No, I had like the 105 or the 106. I got this one a couple years ago.

[Mark]

It looked.

[Wade]

I mean, it's very similar, but it's the one of the newer ones.

[Mark]

Look, I'm not even going to correct it because I think it's funny if you call it. It's going to piss a lot of audio heads off if you keep calling it a Newman, so please do.

[Wade]

Oh, I'm sorry. It's a new man.

[Mark]

That's good. Keep calling it that, man.

[Wade]

What's it supposed to be?

[Mark]

I'm not. It's Neumann. But whatever. It don't matter.

[Wade]

It's N, E, U. How is that Noi?

[Mark]

It's like German or something. I don't know.

[Wade]

That's why it says Berlin. I just thought it was my microphone's last name this whole time.

[Bob]

Neumann. Berlin. My microphone.

[Wade]

It's Neumann.

[Mark]

My new mic is Going to be a warm audio y000.

[Wade]

Is that how audio heads say that one?

[Mark]

Yep. I'm pretty sure.

[Wade]

Neumann. Was that the bad guy? Not the bad guy. Dennis Nedry. What's the actor's name?

[Bob]

That was the bad guy on Seinfeld.

[Wade]

Yeah, Neumann, Seinfeld. Heads are gonna get really mad if

[Bob]

we say, sorry, Steinfeld.

[Wade]

That's it.

[Bob]

Wade, did you do small talk?

[Wade]

Probably, yeah. About going outside and so on. It was. It was very. It was as good as my jokes, man. It was funny.

[Bob]

It was really. That was really good small talk. What if I point this at you? That was really good small talk.

[Wade]

I'm the pillars on which this, this foundation is set. And then you guys are the stars that stand on top of it.

[Bob]

That's nice.

[Mark]

That's really sacrificial of you.

[Wade]

Just power wash me occasionally, then reseal.

[Mark]

That's just another step I don't want to take.

[Wade]

Explains the cracks in the bald.

[Bob]

This episode is brought to you by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. You already know that T Mobile 5G Home Internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month. But here's something new worth noting. T Mobile now is the fastest 5G home Internet according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test.

[Mark]

No, seriously. Their 5G home Internet speeds are officially the fastest. Which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know.

[Wade]

And yeah, it is still a great value backed by a five year price guarantee so your bill doesn't slowly creep up when you're not paying attention. So if you want the fastest 5G home Internet with a simple setup and savings that actually stick, head over to t-mobile.com homeinternet to check availability today. Price guaranteed exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Uber to speed test intelligence data second half 2025 all rights reserved.

[Bob]

Anyway, do you guys want to talk about today's topic? I think we've really been setting weight up for this one. I want to talk about what happens when you get in a bad mood. You're allowed to not be in a bad mood, Wade, but we would really piling it on. So I pretty well understand if you were in a bad mood. But this is stolen from an episode of Bluey where bingo is in A bad mood. And it's. It's pretty funny. There's some shenanigans. But also recently, I've been really bitchy, and I have really bad tendencies when I'm in a bad mood. Not in like a, oh, I take it out on everyone else sort of way, just in like a. I'm real insufferable. I don't know how much you guys have experienced me being in a really bad mood around you, because usually if we're. If we're hanging out or doing something, we're usually having fun, because that's kind of what we do. But I. I'm miserable when I'm in a bad mood. I like. Because, like, Mandy, if I'm grumpy, Mandy's like, I want to cheer you up. Let me do something nice for you. I'll get you your favorite. Food only makes it worse. I don't know why. I literally. If someone does. If I'm in a bad mood and someone does something nice for me, I'm like, fuck off. I don't deserve nice stuff right now. I hate that you did that. It's like, man, that's really rude. Really not a good way to behave. But I. It's how I am. I'm awful when I'm in a bad mood. I guess that is kind of taking it out on other people. But I literally. I would just go lock myself in a. I would. I would go away and lock myself in a room and be like, everyone stay away. I'm in a bad mood. But then people intrude on that because I don't live in a vacuum. I live with family and stuff. But, like, anyway, I've been. I've been having. Been having some bad moods lately, and I felt kind of bad about that, and I was curious, maybe you guys can teach me how to deal with my bad moods better. Or if you have any funny stories or if you have a similar or your own unique version of how you behave when you're in a bad mood. I just want to talk about it. I'm working some stuff out here, guys. Help me. Therapize me.

[Mark]

Therapize you?

[Wade]

Therapy in the face.

[Bob]

Hit me with the therops.

[Mark]

I'm gonna hit you with the theranin.

[Wade]

I don't know what that is, but it sounds entertaining. Is that next to neon on the periodic table? Theranon?

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. Theremin is the little electromagnetic device. Thera Therana. Theranone was the company that that person was made the lady on the Forbes.

[Wade]

It's German. They're annoying.

[Mark]

They're annoying.

[Bob]

Probably.

[Mark]

She went to jail, yo.

[Bob]

The lady who just straight up lied. Theranos.

[Wade]

Allegedly.

[Bob]

No, it was pretty much conclusively proven she went to jail. We're not making those claims. You can look it up. She did not succeed in her defense in court. But, yeah, no, that was. Man, if that machine did exist, it would really do a lot of good stuff.

[Wade]

I actually know what you guys are referencing for what happened to my voice there.

[Mark]

What was that?

[Wade]

Oh, no, I just got excited. I don't know what happened. Well, actually, no. You guys are.

[Bob]

Efficiency.

[Mark]

For once, his true voice came out.

[Wade]

Man, oh, man. I can't believe it.

[Mark]

That was not the. That was not the voice that came through. I'm a. I'm very scared right now. I'm very scared.

[Wade]

I'm fine. I'm perfectly fine.

[Mark]

Just like Bob's magic trick. That scared me legitimately. I actually, I'm not going to lie. When Bob. When you disappear in that closet, I actually went.

[Bob]

Where'd he go?

[Mark]

I'm not joking. I fully had a second there.

[Bob]

I know. I have that effect on people. I'm quite the magician.

[Wade]

We here at Distractable incorporated our toddlers.

[Mark]

What was the question? I don't even remember what we're doing here. What are we doing?

[Bob]

Wayne knew about Theranos. After we talked about it for a solid 90 seconds, he was finally like, I.

[Mark]

What you guys are talking about?

[Bob]

For what? That's right.

[Wade]

I didn't know the name, but I knew the subject matter. So once. Once it was explained, it's like, oh, I have heard that story about the lady who was. Yeah. Selling the. Whatever. Theranos. I. I just. I felt like one of the. Part of the group for once, you know, I was on the in. I. I knew. You're literally already in.

[Bob]

Imagine how we must feel knowing so many more things, so much more of the time. It's like a constant high, man.

[Wade]

I don't live that life, but I was here once. I peaked. I was Icarus. I flew too close to the. No, now I'm falling back down. I got bad mood stuff, I suppose. Mark, you got bad mood stuff?

[Mark]

Yeah, I've been in bad moods every

[Bob]

once in a while. What do you do? How does it go? Do you take it out on everyone around you? Like, I apparently didn't realize until now that I do.

[Mark]

You only took until now to realize it.

[Bob]

I always thought I didn't. But the thing was, I used. When I used to be in a bad mood. I used to also be single and alone, and so I couldn't take it out on anyone anyway, so it didn't matter. But now I realize I actually am pretty mean sometimes when I'm in a bad mood, but not in, like, a I seek you out and take it out on you sort of way, but in like, a, if you come too close to me, I'll be a real bitch about it. And that's also kind of. It's pretty unfair. It's not very nice.

[Wade]

For some reason. I just imagine single, you going to, like, a bar and, like, asking, like, hey, you want to go out? Yeah. And then you're like, well, I don't. And then walking back out again because you're in a bad mood.

[Bob]

Yeah, I did that a lot. You got me. Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah. I remember we were. We were all out eating dinner, and he would just, like, shoot himself down after he gets the yes, which is the craziest moment to do it. No one wants to go out with me.

[Wade]

I said yes.

[Mark]

Well, you lied, actually, unironically. Some incels.

[Wade]

You're probably. You're probably right.

[Bob]

Oh, man. Thank God I found Mandy. I would absolutely be that person who gets to go first. I'm going to flip this pen, and if I catch the tip, that's Mark, and if I catch the clip, that's Wade.

[Mark]

That's a really good way to do it.

[Bob]

I caught the clip. Wade, you go first. Bad mood, me.

[Wade]

All right, so I have just. I remember being in a really bad mood at my computer, and I have this, like, wrist rest, right? That I rest my wrist on. That's the whole point. Wrist rest. And I don't remember what I was in such a bad mood about, whether it was family or something, but I was just genuinely pissed off. Not even just, like, mer. I was actually, like, pissed off, and I just, like, threw a baby tantrum where I, like, slammed my fists around, and I hit. Hit my desk and knocked the wrist rest off, which was slightly askew to the left. Well, I had food on my desk, and the wrist rest, of course, had to hit the thing of, like, hit my drink into my food, which then knocked all of that off on me. So then I threw the tantrum and covered myself in, like. I don't remember pizza or whatever the hell it was. And then I was in, like, an even worse mood kind of. But also, it kind of reality checked me, where I was like, huh. Me acting like, baby makes mess. Like, baby, now I've got to clean up this mess that I made because I was being a big. For no reason. I deserve this.

[Bob]

This doesn't have to be a theme of the episode. You are allowed to be in a bad mood. And I feel like, like slamming your desk and making a mess is cut like from our perspective in the. Now that you're not in a bad mood seems silly. I feel like of all the things a person could do, that's not. That's pretty good. Like if you go punch a pillow or you go, you know, you go scream into a pillow or you slam your. As long as you're not hurting yourself or like breaking, you know, breaking your own stuff. Sounds like you just kind of made a mess. That's not that bad. It may feel silly that you did that. You're like, I gotta clean this up now. But you didn't like scream at someone or like, dude, like, you know, you. That's. That's fine. That seems okay. Sometimes you're in a bad mood.

[Wade]

I just yelled like and slammed my fist down and then made a huge mess and then felt like I'm still in a bad mood, but it's like I was no longer in a ragey, self destructive mood. It was just like a. Well, now I'm an asshole. I see that I'm an asshole. I have a mess to clean up and I'm still in a bad mood. What did that accomplish? Didn't help my mood, but I guess it did help my mood, but it didn't help my mood.

[Bob]

Kind of sounds like it helped a little. I can't really imagine you doing that in with sincerity. I could imagine you being like for the bit just be like doing something crazy and making a big mess.

[Wade]

I don't get actually mad very often. Like, I get upset or like annoyed. Actually mad is very rare for me. That was an actually mad moment.

[Bob]

That sounds like a decently healthy way to try and to work it out. Sounds sarcastic, but I'm really trying to be sarcastic.

[Mark]

It sounded a little sarcastic. I'm not gonna lie.

[Bob]

I. Look, I have the same problem with James. James. The first time he went poop on the potty, he was like, I did it. And I was like, you did? Wow. You went poop on the potty? And I was like, no, wait, how do I be sincere? I'm really proud of you. I love you. I love you so much.

[Wade]

Good job.

[Bob]

Yeah, no, I do that real bad. But that sounds pretty good.

[Wade]

Oh, okay. If you went higher pitch now I believe you.

[Mark]

I've been known to be in Bad moods on occasion. I'm always fascinated by the fact that something flips in your head and it feels good to do shitty things when you're in a bad mood. I don't know why, but, you know, it's like you just, you have these words that you want to say usually, and you're like, that'd be a shitty thing to say. I don't want to say don't feel bad. But when you're in a bad mood, it's like, I am good. I'm going to say, oh, it sounds

[Wade]

like I'm trying to say a slur or something.

[Mark]

This is not what I'm going for here.

[Wade]

Meanwhile, he's actually like, you're a poo poo head.

[Mark]

I've. I've been in numerous bad moods. I'd say the most recent streaks were even sometimes on this podcast where I would come on and we'd cut it out, but I just, I just get so frustrated from all the stress and the pressure, and it would bubble out and I'd. I'd blow up for one reason or another, and I would just have to go. And it's always like, blow up. And then it's like I go out and I talk to Amy and then I feel better. That's like, been. The only thing that's made me feel better is like, I go over

[Bob]

and

[Mark]

Amy's like, you're being a dick. And I'm like, I'm being a dick. I'm instantly.

[Bob]

You're right.

[Wade]

She just has the needle for your balloon.

[Mark]

It's not like, you know, you, We've had fights on occasion. You. We've been mad at each other, but for the most part, if she says something like that, it's just like, and I'll come back. And even if I, I, I blow up, you guys, sorry, right? Sometimes I come back and say, I'm sorry. Sometimes I come back, I'm like, I'm still mad because Amy wasn't there or something. But. Yeah, no, it's.

[Wade]

We're gonna get the Amy cardboard cutouts for our office just to. We're like, all right, we gotta pacify Mark.

[Mark]

Hey, you're being a dude.

[Bob]

You're right here.

[Mark]

It's like they on unison when I made scp.

[Wade]

Amy, you know the, the

[Mark]

light stand

[Bob]

with a lab jacket with that fucking walkie talkie that just made the crazy ass noises.

[Mark]

That was such a fun one. I love that walkie talkie. It was so good. Anyway, so, yeah, I. In the most recent. That's the Most recent bad moods. I've got plenty more, but yeah.

[Wade]

Bob, have you ever blown up with us?

[Bob]

I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm a shover. Downer. I've definitely, I've definitely been in sessions where I was in a bad mood. I think I could say it's never been related to you guys or because of you guys, but I've come in in a bad mood because other stuff. But the whole time I'm just like, let's keep going. But I think, I think if you, if someone who knows me, watch carefully, they could tell because the whole time my comedy is a little bit more assaulting and a little, a little bit more like, like it comes. It's not like I'm here having a good time. It's like I'm here to take it out through jokes against people or whatever.

[Wade]

Like, yeah, we've done stuff enough over the years where I think we've all had moments. I'm sure.

[Bob]

But thinking about this, it really is more like a very self centered therapy episode. But I like this. This is good. Have you ever had a moment where you had some big realization about, like, how you were processing your bad mood or how you're processing emotions in general? Because I've, I've always been a very, like, shove it down inside. And I pro. And I do process things internally. It's not like I, I shove it down and never deal with it, but it takes a long time to do that. And there are way more efficient ways to deal with stuff emotionally and like, productive ways. Like, if I'm being a dick to Mandy for reasons that are unrelated to her, it's both unfair to her, but also she could totally help. Like, it's, it's very similar to what you said, Mark. Like, I am an asshole. But often if Mandy is like, look, I'm trying to be nice to you, but you're being a piece of shit, I'm immediately like, like, oh, you're right. Oh, sorry. Deflates it very quickly. But like, have you guys ever had any, like, breakthroughs about, I don't know, about yourself or your personal, you know, journey with that sort of stuff, processing emotions?

[Wade]

It's a little bit less to do with bad moods. But like, I learned how much of a people pleaser I am, which I think relates to, like, whenever I am in a bad mood like you, I internalize a lot. Like, I'm like, like, well, I'm not gonna go share this with everyone else and put it on their shoulders. This is My problem. And I've, I've got to be the one to handle it. Like, I, I can take it, I, I can deal with it. I've dealt with it my whole life. But like, even at a young age when my parents split up, I remember being asked like, oh, do you want to go stay with your grandparents? Or here, do you want to go to like your dad's, your moms, you know, I was always asked where I wanted to go, which was a lot of pressure at like four years old, because it's like four year old me was like, everyone seems to like spending time with me, they love having me. So I've got to like make two people sad to make one happy. And I would always try to. Even if I wanted to go somewhere in particular, I would try to be balanced and always pick a different person. So that way everyone got to have the joy of me around my four year old ego. Because, you know, as a four year old I thought everyone was always so nice, you know, because I was a kid and I was, I loved. So people were nice to me even if they wanted like a break. I never knew that as a kid they wanted a break. I was like, well, I picked them last week and I gotta pick someone else this weekend, then someone else next weekend. Like, I try to make that balance. And so the people pleasing became just an integral part of who I am, which you guys have seen at conventions where we're like, let's go to dinner. And I'm like, hey, can we bring 50 other people? Or whenever I'm like trying to balance out, like doing collabs or playing games with people, it's like, well, I was really having fun playing this game, but I've not played with so and so in like two weeks. So I better do this this week instead of continuing that thing I actually want to do. And when it comes to like being in a bad mood, it's very similar. It's like everyone who needs the vent, I will be there. Say what you need to say, get it off your chest. Then someone's like, wait, what do you, what do you. Do you have anything you want to get off your chest? I'm like, no, I'm good on the inside.

[Mark]

I'm like, y, please let me out.

[Wade]

It's like, shut up, you. I'll deal with you by playing a video game later. But I mean, I'll talk to Molly and like with Amy, you know, Molly's there to help me and she'll let me know if I'm being An asshole or so on and so forth. And I've gotten better about letting stuff out there, but there's still that people pleasing tendency in me where it's like, no, I've dealt with a lot in life, I can continue to deal with a lot. This is relatively small compared to what I've dealt with in the past, so it shouldn't even be that big of a deal. Why am I in a bad mood anyway? And I'll try to like rationalize out the bad mood, which doesn't really work, but, but I try, I try that

[Bob]

aggressively and man, does that not work.

[Mark]

You know what kind of, you know, kind of I am. I'm a people un pleaser. Nothing pisses me off more than a poorly timed text when I'm not even mad or busy. In fact, most of the time when I'm not busy, I'm like, I, I, I'm not even like, oh, I just sat down. If a text catches me at the wrong time, I'm intentionally not responding for a while. Actually, it's not, it' necessarily that, but I just, I, I don't, I'm like, I'm not gonna.

[Wade]

No, I agree. Texts are different. I hate getting text.

[Mark]

I'm very insular sometimes when I get pissed off and I'm just like, buddy, just off. I'm not gonna talk to anybody. I don't want to be bothered. And then instead of doing some productive efforts, I shouldn't, I don't, I don't want to talk to anybody. Everybody, you know, So I, I don't know. It's the most impotent, useless kind of grumpiness possible. I, I did that sometimes when I was like in high school with my, my high school girlfriend sometimes because I'd be like, but I want to bend everything. And then it'd be like, finally she'd be like, oh, I want to spend time with you. And I'm just like, well, now I'm not going to do it. Stupidest thing is like the most asinine opposite day kind of unhelpful bullshit. And so, yeah, I've tried to push that out as much as I can, but when things get really busy, I do get caught up in it. I'm just like, I want to do anything. I want to go drive in a Circle. Where's 275? Let me drive around it.

[Wade]

I have that in a weird way too. Like if someone messages me about playing something, I'll be like annoyed and grumpy the entire time leading up to it. And Then I'll play or do whatever it is. I'll legitimately have a good time. And it's like, man, why was I so not looking forward to this? This was fun. And then the next week, I'll go through the same cycle of, oh, like, Ryan wants to play a game on Friday. I'm like, oh, Ryan wants to play a game on Friday. I guess I'll put him on my schedule to stream with him on Friday. Oh, poking me. And then we'll play. I'll have, like, one of the best times I've had all week. Week. I'm like, oh, what a good time. And then I'll hear, like, the next week, like, hey, you want it? Oh, you want to do something? You son of a.

[Mark]

Again. God, we had such a good time last time.

[Wade]

I don't know what it is about me where I'm like, that people want to play games. I'm like, I don't want to play that game. I want to do. Go do this, and then I'll play. It's like, oh, that was so fun. I wish we could have kept going. Hey, you want to play it next week? Oh, do I want to play? You do I want to play next week? I got to do.

[Mark]

It's the same thing with a shower, you know, sometimes where it's just like, I know it feels good just when I'm in there. I'm like, oh, dude, it's all nice. Take my clothes off. And I got to. Oh, I got to step in there.

[Wade]

I don't have 10 minutes to shower.

[Bob]

Having. Having a kid has been such a bad excuse for me because there's, like, in. In everyday life, if you're just on your own, like, ignore everything else. There's always a thing where you're like, well, I could shower now, but, like, I was going to work out later. Or, like, there's always something, right? That. That was. It's like, that's not a great. Like, you could always think of something. With James, it's always like. Like, well, I haven't showered in a couple days, but James is probably gonna wake up from his nap, and I'm gonna have to change a poop or I don't know. Who knows? Like, babies do all kinds of stuff. I'm gonna have to roll her out on the floor. Why would I ever shower? I'm just gonna pig pen it up. He doesn't care. I don't care. I'll just wear these same sweats for. It's such a. I don't know. That that's universal. But I feel like it's so hard with him added on to my regular baseline level of laziness and sloth and slovenliness. Sloth, slothy, slothiness, Slovenliness, sloth, whatever. It's like, it's so easy to just look at anything and be like, I could drink some water. There's a glass of water in my hand that I got to drink, but I'm just going to be dehydrated in like another couple hours. Why would I even.

[Mark]

Like, what is this, a losing battle? God, you're so right.

[Wade]

I've had to this water.

[Mark]

I have this water bottle next to me. I'm just like, I don't want to drink that ice cold water.

[Bob]

Ew.

[Mark]

I'm gonna grab this ginger beer instead.

[Bob]

Ew.

[Mark]

I'm drinking and I'll drink it. Fine. I'll fucking drink it, you fogging son of a bitch.

[Bob]

I was not trying to peer pressure you. I do the exact same shit. It's. I don't have water is diet Mountain Dew water. Can I drink my diet Mountain Dew and feel good about my life?

[Wade]

It's used to make it probably.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Something in there is water.

[Wade]

This is unrelated but related. It reminded me of a time where I was. I was at some kind of convenience store. I used to work at a convenience store to set this up. And of course, when people would come in, you have like the ding. So you knew that a customer was arriving. I remember being in a store and I was in a bad mood. I think I was arguing with somebody. I don't remember if it was family or friend or whatever, but I was having like an argument. I was kind of in a bad mood. And I remember what ended up breaking it was somebody walked into the store and it had a very similar ding to the place I worked.

[Bob]

Worked.

[Wade]

And like in the middle of being like, yeah, I don't care if you ding. Hi, how are you? Like, just out of habit of working at the store. I turned to greet some random person while I was in the middle of this argument. And it completely shifted everything away, made it really funny. But you need to get that.

[Bob]

You need to get that sound saved on your phone or something. So you just be like, God, such a bad thing.

[Wade]

That was a really hard thing to break was if you ever heard a similar ding. Or if I went into like UDFs around the from Cincinnati, if someone walked in, it was like, do not greet people. Wade. You're not wearing an apron. You don't look like you Belong. You look like a weirdo if you're just like, hi, how are you? Like, if someone's walking in to buy their coffee, I.

[Bob]

This is a very I am him energy of me. But I, I used to work at Jimmy John's and we used to. It was the one on campus and it was open super late and I must be the only human in existence who we would, you know, we closed it like, like three if I remember right, which is really late. But we would get a big rush because the bars would kick everyone out at 2. And then we get a bunch of people in and then right up till close, it's like, it's three o'. Clock. We close the door and we're like, go the home or go somewhere else, drunks, whatever. And everyone. And including. I'm still surprised. I mean, I know it happens, but I'm still confused why people are so mad when you go to a store and it's like, oh, we close in an hour. And you walk in and you're like, yeah, I'd like a burrito or whatever. And they're like, burrito? This guy, doesn't he know we close in an hour? It's like, yeah, I know you close in an hour, doesn't that mean you're open? And I know that as a, as a customer I know that that's like a dick. Well, I get like, you're at work. I understand that sucks. And sometimes it's worse than other times. But when I was working, if someone walked into my Jimmy John's at 2:55 in the morning, all my co workers would be like, like this fucking guy, God damn it. I'd be like, just make him a fucking sandwich. Like it takes us five minutes. By the time we're done making this drunk sandwich, we can close the doors. And it's no different than if they didn't come in. But we didn't have to stand there doing nothing, staring at the clock for five minutes. But like, I feel like it's very natural to get mad git that you're like, I just want to go home, just go away. But if you're open, especially I think one, one time I went into a place that was like, it was late dinner, it was like 7:30 at night. And I was like, ah, I need something. I went in and the place closed at like 9. So they weren't like about to close. They had like a solid hour and a half still. And I walked in and I got that same where I walked in and they were like, oh, hey, sir. What? Sorry, we're kind of the lines kind of closed down. What can we get for you? I'm like, you guys are not even remotely closed. Like you're, you are jumping the gun on this one. I get that you don't like your job or it's been a rough day, but like, please make me a sandwich. I'm really. I'll pay you. I'll pay you full price. Just give me the sandwich. I'm sure, I'm sure. I don't know, I mean, do you guys feel that? You ever work till close somewhere and it was like.

[Mark]

I want to say something that's going to sound extremely derogatory. All right, so with the sandwich shop, I imagine it's different with like a sit down restaurant because like sometimes people do come in late. But with the sandwich shop, I think it's that case of where the monkeys and the ladder and the banana in the water. You know, this.

[Wade]

I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Bob]

Is that something I'm supposed to know?

[Mark]

Okay, so there's a science experiment, right? There's a cage full of monkeys or something. Not. Or something. It was monkeys for sure. It was absolutely.

[Wade]

All right, all right, Locked in. Monkeys, okay?

[Bob]

Monkeys or children, something.

[Mark]

There's. There's 10 or so monkeys in there, right? And they put a ladder and there's a banana on a rope up top. Eventually, you know, one of the monkeys, hey. Climbs the ladder. As soon as he climbs the ladder, they spray cold water into the cage, right? They take one monkey out. They put a new monkey in who has not been sprayed. He's like, banana goes up there, gets spray, everyone gets sprayed. And then they beat the. Out of the new monkey.

[Wade]

Damn

[Bob]

it.

[Mark]

Got to the point where they were replaced with the monkey. And eventually it's like the monkey, even if it touched the ladder and they didn't spray it, they would still beat the shit out of the new monkey, right? They'd be like, don't touch the ladder. And got to the point where they started replacing so many that there was no monkey that had ever been sprayed with water. But they would still beat the shit out of the monkeys because they were like, this is just what we do. This is what we do. We don't touch the ladder, the lateral

[Wade]

will be beat up.

[Bob]

And.

[Mark]

And it's like, I think what that is with the people come in is people that work at restaurants where they, people sit down, but they get to a new food restaurant and they can't be like, oh, I gotta be mad. We're going to beat the shit out of that customer for coming in before close. Even if it takes five minutes to make the food. I think, I think that might be that.

[Wade]

Such a horrible experiment. Like, I know I'm laughing and smiling, but also, that's like, that's terrible.

[Bob]

That is interesting. I had never heard that before.

[Mark]

I think it's real.

[Wade]

I'm pretty sure it's real.

[Mark]

But, you know, who knows?

[Bob]

I have to say too, you and I both worked at the same restaurant. Sorry. And I do. It is different at a sit down place when it's like, okay, we close in 15 minutes and then someone comes in and it's like, table for three. And it's like, what? Well, you're not going to eat and leave in 15 minutes, are you? But I did always think the social. Like, some people are oblivious and then. So maybe it doesn't work so well. But the social pressure of being that last table in a restaurant while like five servers and the bartender and the. And the chefs in the back are like in the w. Everyone in the whole place is. Is waiting to leave and you're sitting there just like, sushi. That's gotta be so awkward, right? Like that. They are. They are suffering enough, but maybe people just don't give a shit. I don't know.

[Mark]

They're having a magical mom moment. This is the greatest date I've ever been on.

[Wade]

Didn't we do that at a Fogo or something once? The Brazilian Steakhouse where we were the last table. They still had to bring us the meat.

[Bob]

Oh, we would never. We would never do that. What? No.

[Wade]

What? We were the only table. There's like four guys just hovering around us with meat on, like, you want more?

[Mark]

No. Other people did this, not us. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob]

We wouldn't do that. Or. That doesn't sound true. I don't think that happened.

[Mark]

Were you spreading lies about us. Puts me in a bad mood, man.

[Bob]

Better look out. He's not going to want to hang out with us.

[Wade]

There is nothing like finishing cleaning up your ice cream area and then having a customer is like, I want a giant chocolate malt, extra thick, like two minutes before it closed. And it's like. But that sprays everywhere. It'll cover everything. We've just cleaned in milkshake.

[Mark]

Again, just you going to the gas.

[Bob]

But sir, it sprays everywhere.

[Mark]

We don't have the technology to block that.

[Wade]

I mean, that happened a lot. People would come in last minute for ice cream. It was always like, oh, fine, we'll make it. We're open and we can serve it here. You enjoy your Sunday. Glad you want that midnight banana split. There was. We actually had closed and we'd locked the door. We turned like the lights off. We were counting like the registers, whatever we did before close, like before we actually got to leave and someone came, like, I think I haven't even told this story in here before. Someone came frantically up to our door and was like pounding on the door. And it's a glass door. So we see them and we're like, okay, something's wrong. So we open the door. Like, we're closed. Can we. Can we help you? It's a police. I desperately just. I really need a milkshake. Sir, we are closed. What do you mean? You desperate? An emergency milkshake. I've never heard of this. It's like, I am really fucking high and it just sounds so good. I need it so bad. I was in a bit of a conundrum because I was like, well, there is another one, UDF, open like 24 7, like three miles from here. But I also don't want to tell this guy who's high out of his fucking mind to go driving three miles to another location. So what do I do here? I don't remember if I told him there was another location or not, but it's like, I don't really feel like it's morally correct for me to send you driving off somewhere your current state. But also, I'm not making you a fucking milkshake. We're closed. Everything's shut down. Couldn't if I wanted to.

[Mark]

Well, I could make you a milkshake. Die. Go. Die.

[Wade]

Stab him. I can't get arrested. We're closed. We can kill now. Die dealing with people late at night. The rest of the day was fine. That last like 20 minute window of just staring angrily at the front door, daring anybody to come in. It was your monkey ladder, but boat squirt.

[Mark]

Did it work when you glared at the mangrilli, did anyone ever turn around?

[Wade]

No, because I think we, like, we knew we couldn't actually glare. So it was like a.

[Mark]

We should create a scenario as like a therapy session where it's like you're working at the desk and I'll walk in and you make me leave. Right, okay.

[Bob]

All right.

[Mark]

Okay. You get the apron. You got your little choo choo hat, right? You had a hat, right, for udf?

[Bob]

Yeah, they wore hats. I'm pretty sure they had hats.

[Wade]

I don't think we had hats.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mark]

Poofy shoulders. Like gloves. Like dainty gloves, right?

[Wade]

No, I don't think we use gloves anyway.

[Mark]

Knock, knock. Knock, knock, knock.

[Bob]

Hey, you open? No open.

[Mark]

Can I get a milkshake?

[Wade]

How are you in here? The door was locked.

[Mark]

Oh, I'm fine. Thank you for asking. I would like a chocolate malt, please.

[Wade]

We're out of malt powder and milk.

[Mark]

I see milk studs. You could crunch them up.

[Wade]

The cash register is broken.

[Mark]

I'm a hang out here.

[Wade]

The police are on their way.

[Mark]

Well, thank God.

[Wade]

All right, I guess you can hang out. See? Come on, man.

[Bob]

No, you failed.

[Mark]

You'll never grow as a human.

[Wade]

You were so cool. How can I say no? That charisma, man. It beats me every time.

[Mark]

That's right. Look, hey, but you're funny. Don't forget that.

[Bob]

Very funny. All right, well, I'm going to say this therapy session is concluded.

[Wade]

Can I share a story I found before you finally wrap it up? I don't care if it's for points or not. I just found it really funny.

[Bob]

If it's actually funny, I'll point at you and tell you.

[Wade]

There's a story I was like, I don't know if I have this many stories. I was looking at other people's stories of what happened when they were angry. And there was a person who. I couldn't tell if they were a CEO or worked in hr, but they worked in customer, whatever, employee something where employees would come knock on the door and come into their office.

[Bob]

Basically.

[Wade]

It's quite often. Often they were having a really bad day after dealing with someone particularly annoying. They were like, whatever. They went to take a bathroom break, and they went to a bathroom stall, closed and locked the door, and were sitting there doing their business. And someone came and knocked on the door while they were in there, and they were just already annoyed and pissed, but they forgot that they weren't in their office and they yelled, come in angrily instead of occupied. And apparently that changed the trajectory of their day because it was just really fucking funny of come in and the person outside, like, never mind. I found that story very funny. So I had to share that.

[Mark]

You're just holding the door handle. You're like, my life is at a crossroads right now. I have a choice here.

[Wade]

I see two paths. I see two paths. Anyway, that was short and sweet, but I found it really funny.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, I actually laughed and I didn't point at you and say it was funny. So I guess it wasn't funny because

[Wade]

it wasn't my story.

[Mark]

Story that reminds me, wasn't there a story about how, like, I forget which senator or something? There was like, it was like a bathroom stall. It was like tapping your foot or something. Remember being a sign, like, I want to solicit sex from you. Other person in the next stall. There was someone like that.

[Bob]

I don't remember who, but it was. It was like a senator or congress person or something. Yeah, it was. That was in the news.

[Mark]

So from then on, is anyone else has happened to anyone else where I became irrationally afraid of tapping my toe in a. In a bathroom stall lest it be misread as a solicitation or something? Because I'm like, I'm not a stall toe tapper by any means, but I've been known to bounce my knee a couple times when I'm pooping, so I'm like, anyone else get weirdly afraid of that?

[Bob]

I am not an overthinker. Generally, I'm pretty laid back. But public bathroom stalls. If I'm in a stall, like, if I had to sit down to do business, and I'm in, I sit in there and I'm like, I need to make sure I'm ready in case someone opens the door. I don't. When I go to the bathroom at home, I'm like a toddler. I like, take. I strip naked and just what. But when I'm in per. I like, sit on the thing and I'm like, oh, I have my pants positioned and I'll make sure that I look presentable. And I'm. I'm not tapping. I don't want to make any extra noises. I don't want anyone around me to know what's going on here. It's very polite and professional. I literally, possibly the only place in the whole world where I'm like, like, I better make sure I don't do anything un. Thought, you know, thoughtless or do anything extra. If someone came in here, they'd be like, oh, excuse me. And I'd be like, yes, good day. Like, I don't know what it is about, but yes. No, I. That I didn't need that news story in my life to make me way overthink what I'm doing in the bathroom stall. And I. I come up with contingencies too. If I sit down and I forgot to check before I decided if there is toilet paper, I'm like, I'm frantically like, all right, which side do I ask? How do I ask for toilet paper from my neighbor? What if our Fin fingers touch while he's handing it to me. What does that mean?

[Wade]

Do I need to do something?

[Bob]

Like, it goes. I go down whole rabbit holes. It's stressful situations, but I would never tap my toes.

[Wade]

I do everything in my power to avoid using public restrooms. I plan my trips around. All right, well, if I eat this food, usually I've got, like, 30 minutes or I've got three hours before I need to. So we can go to the store after that, but then straight home. Ever since we were at a convention years ago ago, we had, like, someone that was escorting us around. There's a lot of fans around. And so someone escorted me to a restroom at one point, and I thought their whole point was they were going to not let anyone else in the restroom. So I went to, like, stand at a urinal. And then right as I was in the middle of pissing, a fan comes running in, camera out. Dude, can I get a selfie? And I'm like, dick in hand, mid piss.

[Mark]

Like, can it wait a minute?

[Wade]

Like. And I was like, I don't know if I'm on video right now. I don't know what the fuck's happening. But, like, I don't know. Ever sense that experience of just, like, there's nothing I can do. I. I'm standing here and there's. I. I guess I'm either on camera or I'm not. I don't know.

[Mark]

Why are you pissing so far away from the urinal? You could just kind of like, hey, don't.

[Wade]

I don't even know that I was, but there was just something in my brain where I was like, this is how my dick gets revealed.

[Mark]

Are you standing at the other opposite wall going for the distance record? Is that what you're doing? No, not now.

[Wade]

It's like the carnival game. I was trying to hit the target,

[Bob]

try to pop the water balloon, see how much you get in there.

[Wade]

I was like, I'm a piss sniper.

[Mark]

Well, I mean, that's how they knew

[Wade]

you were in there.

[Mark]

You were just shouting out the bathroom, hey, I know.

[Bob]

The piss sniper.

[Wade]

What's that? What's the sniper's name? The. The dude, the snow guy. The white something.

[Mark]

The snow guy.

[Wade]

White death, I think it was White death.

[Mark]

White death, yeah.

[Wade]

There's a sniper called White Death. I was trying to think of a pun where I was yellow something. Yellow death. Death. Yellow death.

[Mark]

I'm yellow death.

[Wade]

I've hit 16 targets with one bladder.

[Mark]

Better than brown death. The poop sniper. Point at me, say that Was funny.

[Bob]

That was funny. Damn it.

[Wade]

Why didn't I go brown?

[Bob]

That was a good. That was a good extra story. I appreciate that. And none of us tap our toes at the bathroom. Noted.

[Mark]

God, no.

[Bob]

If I'm ever next to someone who claims to be one of you two, but their toe is a tapping, I'll know it's a trap. I would say that's the end of the episode. Mark, you earned points for. Man, I wrote like Wade again today. Perfectist.

[Wade]

Crime.

[Bob]

Lie point. Climate change. Very funny. Illegal interview tactics. Where'd he go? Not saying. Those slurs you have to try so hard not to say when you're in a bad mood talking to Amy. People unpleasr. Monkeys slash children in cages and die. Wait, you heard? Points for outside walk. Penny.

[Mark]

What?

[Bob]

Oh. Here's your severance. There you go. New amen. And I actually know what you guys are talking about. Oh, there you go.

[Mark]

Yeah, in the weird voice.

[Bob]

Yeah. Yeah, baby. Mess. The. The ding that makes you act like,

[Wade]

hi, how are you?

[Bob]

But that sprays everywhere. And I'm a piss sniper making the actual score. I will say it till your last little addition, Wade. Mark was up. It was nine for Mark and eight for Wade. One of Mark's is a lie point. Wade. Wade scored some piss sniper points. It's now 9 to 9, and Mark has one lie point.

[Mark]

Can't believe my poop sniper joke didn't get a point.

[Bob]

This is traditionally where we spin the wheel. Wheel.

[Wade]

And.

[Bob]

Yeah, the thing about that is I have to move my computer in order to do this next part. Oh, man. I can't believe a gun on a mount isn't a good stable platform to put my computer on.

[Wade]

You gotta work on your HALO reach.

[Mark]

That's funny.

[Bob]

Oh, the coin flip. I'm gonna flip my pen. You guys all have a coin? Do we each want to flip a thing?

[Wade]

They'll go, got it.

[Bob]

All right.

[Wade]

Heads is spin. Tails is no spin.

[Bob]

Jesus Christ.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Bob]

I got spin.

[Wade]

Man, I flipped that right into my microphone. Sorry about that.

[Bob]

All right, here we go. Gamer skills activate.

[Mark]

I forgot that this was a stupid system.

[Bob]

This is a very legitimate thing. Do.

[Wade]

Sudden death.

[Mark]

Oh, no.

[Bob]

You know, it's not so stupid. It's just a metro. I don't think it's that stupid. I'm pretty sure it's not stupid. Well, we don't have the sudden death. We. Oh, God damn it. Well, it's got plus 10% on it.

[Mark]

I don't know if you knew that.

[Bob]

Plus 10%. I don't even know, I think it was 6% plus 10.

[Mark]

I mean, you could rebuild the wheel. You could do that from a. I think it got. I don't think it's been spun since the last time.

[Bob]

I think it got freshly reset. And I think we started it at 6%.

[Wade]

I think that's correct. So I think it's just a. It goes to 16% and then the other 84 is split between the two of us.

[Bob]

42.

[Wade]

42, 16. I'm hoping it's still a still image. And you get the.

[Bob]

Guess who's not getting a one man show. If I get to do that.

[Mark]

Oh, it would never. No, this guy.

[Bob]

All right, wait. So what do we decide? The weights are 16 and then 42.

[Wade]

42 if it's 100. If it's on a pie.

[Bob]

This one is just straight up weights. So I think I can just put 42, 42, and 16.

[Wade]

Math sounds right in my head.

[Bob]

Okay. Now all I have to do is share that one. There you go. You guys see that? That.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Wade]

One man shoe.

[Bob]

One man shoe. I'll show you. It has a probability of 16%.

[Mark]

I believe this. The perfectest crime or a one man show. It's all good, except unless it lands on. Holy. Oh, my God.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Wade]

Oh, I thought it was.

[Bob]

Wade wins.

[Mark]

Well, all right, listen, I. I asked for bias and this is what I get. I can't believe it.

[Wade]

I. I thought it was stopping in the yellow. It, like, paused in there.

[Bob]

I'm happy that didn't happen.

[Wade]

Thank God we made these wheel spins as easy as possible for Bob being not at home.

[Mark]

Yeah, Bob, why don't you carry your wheels with you?

[Bob]

Listen, it would be smart if I did that. All right. Wade wins in a sudden death spinorama. There's no one man show. Congratulations, Wade. Would you like to give your winner speech?

[Wade]

It was a good, well earned fight. And I was in a bad mood going into this. Not really. But I'm in a better mood now, so. Well done, Bob.

[Bob]

I did it. Congratulations to all of us except Mark. Would you like to give your loser speech?

[Mark]

You both are really funny.

[Bob]

You're.

[Mark]

You're funny, you know that? But not in a ha ha way. In a way way that pisses me off. I'm pissed. And let me tell you, when I'm

[Bob]

pissed,

[Mark]

I don't get anything. I really don't know.

[Bob]

Mark, you're being a dick.

[Wade]

Thanks, Amy. Cut out.

[Mark]

Somehow that makes me more mad. You sound like that guy I tried to interview. Guess what happened to him.

[Wade]

Knife severance.

[Mark]

Anyway, good TV show, but I've never seen, so I'm only going based off hearsay.

[Wade]

That's not Severance, that's Jackass.

[Mark]

Yeah, I don't know what the fuck you were doing.

[Bob]

Hi, my name's Johnny Knoxville, and this is Severance.

[Mark]

That could also be King of the Hill.

[Bob]

Let's end this guy. No, no.

[Wade]

Okay, yeah.

[Bob]

Wade wins. Wade hosts the next one. Thank God for that. That's gonna be it. Make sure you check out the merch at Distractable Shop. Check out Mark and markiplier. Wade is Lordmanian 777 or Minion 777. I am Icekirb. This is my Distractible. Make sure you follow the podcast and then you'll know when there is the podcast. And thank you for listening and thank you for watching equally. Neither one of those is above the other. They're the same. You're the same. You know when I point and talk seriously that it's the truth. You're the same. Thank you, everybody. That's it. We'll see you in the next one. Podcast. Podcast out.

[Narrator]

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