Best of Unfair: Part 1 (Compilation)

Summary

Distractible — "Best of Unfair: Part 1 (Compilation)"

Release Date: January 19, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

"Best of Unfair: Part 1" is a spirited, chaotic compilation episode that revisits moments when the Distractible crew grappled with what it means for their games and competitions to be "unfair." Through reinterpretations of their own homemade rules and a series of increasingly convoluted, coin flip-based decisions, Mark, Wade, and Bob both lampoon and grudgingly embrace the unpredictable nature of declaring something "unfair." The episode is a showcase of their competitive, improvisational energy, humor, and friendship.

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Key Topics & Recurring Bits

The Evolution of the "Unfairness Clause"

• Timestamps: [02:37]-[07:32]
  • The trio debates whether to keep an "unfairness clause" in their game rules, agreeing it's been more trouble than it's worth.
  • Ideas for resolving unfairness include coin flips, wheels, and "trial by combat."
  • They settle on: if "unfair" is declared, three consecutive coin flips decide if the claim stands—a 1-in-8 chance, with a risky double penalty if it fails.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "If you win three coin flips in a row, it was unfair and you are justified." — Mark ([03:57])
    • "As soon as the word unfair falls out of someone's mouth, it happens. Coin flip. Immediately stop everything." — Mark ([05:07])

Weaponizing the Word "Unfair"

• Timestamps: [05:44]-[06:29], [16:12]-[16:17], Throughout
  • Once per episode, anyone can declare "unfair," triggering the fairness coin flips.
  • Even tricks that get someone else to say "unfair" trigger coin flips. Not synonyms—specifically the word "unfair."
  • The group predicts they'll forget these rules immediately.
  • Memorable Moment:
    • "The convolution is very good... we'll forget about it for, like, months, and then out of nowhere..." — Bob ([06:32])

Literal Coin Flipping Justice

• Timestamps: [08:05]-[14:35], Interspersed
  • Throughout several segments, the group interrupts debates and scoring disputes with coin flips.
  • Coin flip outcomes regularly alter point tallies, force reversals, reset scores, or bestow arbitrary conditions (immortality, winning/losing, making entire rounds moot).
  • Notable Quote:
    • "Oh gods of coin, I just want to remove all points that were decided by a dumb question mark." — Wade ([09:55])
    • "I declare unfair." (repeated and gleefully weaponized)

Absurd Escalations: From Game Points to Existential Stakes

• Timestamps: [16:23]-[34:45]
  • Stakes escalate absurdly: deleting rival podcasts, immortality, who gets to play or host, or even who must die and come back on camera.
  • Each coin flip feels high-stakes, despite (or because of) its inherent randomness.
  • Memorable Moment:
    • "If it's all heads, Stephen Bartlett's podcast gets deleted. If it's all tails, our podcast gets deleted. It's the only way." — Mark ([17:14])
    • "If it's all heads, you have to die and come back to life on camera." — Mark ([23:29])
    • "If I win this coin flip, do I gain invincibility?" — Bob ([34:09])
    • Result: Bob "becomes immortal" with three heads—celebrating his newfound freedom from back pain.

Unraveling Scorekeeping and Fairness Logic

• Timestamps: [18:37]-[30:16], After every game segment
  • Disputes over unclear or badly recorded scores lead to further coin flips.
  • The group jokes about making rules increasingly convoluted and impossible to follow.
  • Audience participation is suggested as a checks & balances mechanism.
  • Memorable Quotes:
    • "What does that mean? What does that mean?" — Mark ([14:07])
    • "I might struggle to read and write, but I can make tallies." — Host/Moderator ([24:24])
    • "I get to petition what is unfair, and then he gets..." — Mark ([25:36])

Rule Metamorphosis and Constitutional Amendments on the Fly

• Timestamps: [30:16]-[38:00], [43:28]-[44:36]
  • Frequent references to the Distractible "Constitution," amending or overriding it as fits the episode's mood.
  • The system becomes sprawling and nearly self-parodic.
  • Notable Quote:
    • "These rules make so much sense, they just... They just play themselves out." — Bob ([59:59])

Meta Commentary and Self-Sabotage

• Timestamps: Recurring, e.g., [39:00]-[41:59], [61:08]-[62:04]
  • The group openly mocks how convoluted and meaningless the rules have become.
  • Many bits demonstrate the joy of going in circles, only to end up where they started, often declaring, "Unfair!" for new reasons.
  • Memorable Moment:
    • "God, I wish that was it. I like that. That's really good. That's the winning answer. Unless Wade, I'll give you a chance to re-steal." — Bob ([60:09])

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Standout Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• [03:57] Mark: "If you win three coin flips in a row, it was unfair and you are justified."
• [05:07] Mark: "As soon as the word unfair falls out of someone's mouth, it happens, even if they don't realize they're doing it."
• [16:12] Wade: "Double dog unfair."
• [17:14] Mark: "If it's all heads, Stephen Bartlett's podcast gets deleted. If it's all tails, our podcast gets deleted. It's the only way."
• [24:24] Host/Moderator: "I might struggle to read and write, but I can make tallies."
• [34:13] Bob: "Guys, if you could get heads on this. Of all the coin flips I've ever lost..." (about possibly becoming immortal)
• [59:59] Bob: "These rules make so much sense, they just... they just play themselves out."

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The Episode’s Tone & Dynamics

• The episode is gleefully anarchic; the hosts relish the chaos and increasing meaninglessness of rules, turning every "unfair" into a performative, camaraderie-fueled event.
• There’s self-deprecating humor about the hosts’ own forgetfulness, the mess of their scoring, and the circularity of their games.
• Deep friendship and shared in-jokes permeate every exchange, including Mark’s playful demands for fairness, Bob’s mock exasperation, and Wade’s resigned acceptance.
• Recurring meta moments: they reference earlier bits, the likelihood that neither they nor the audience will remember the rules, and the odd satisfaction in letting chance or fate (in the form of a coin) decide everything.

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Highlighted Segments & Their Significance

[02:37]-[07:32] "Unfairness Clause Redux"

• Lays the foundation for the episode’s running gag/rule: “unfair” triggers coin flips.
• Sets up the stakes and playful paranoia for what follows.

[08:05]-[14:35] "Coin Flip Justice in Action"

• Multiple on-the-spot coin flips change the flow of points and outcomes, turning the hosts’ fate over to chance.

[16:23]-[34:45] "Absurd Consequences"

• Coin flips now determine things far beyond the scope of points—immortality, podcast deletion, death and resurrection.
• Heightens the commitment to both the bit and the unpredictability of the rules.

[34:13]-[35:02] "Bob Achieves Immortality"

• The trio treats a three-heads coin flip as granting Bob immortality.
• Both a comedic highlight and a loving parody of their own show’s stakes.

[58:10]-[62:04] "Meta Madness & Endgame"

• Mark, Wade, and Bob spiral into self-referential loops—cheating, last-minute “unfair” declarations, and even debating the meaning of wins, points, and friendship.
• Demonstrates the self-aware chaos that characterizes the episode.

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Why This Episode Stands Out

• Inventive Rule-Making: The hosts transform minor unfairness into an epic, recurring segment that showcases their improvisational skills and rapport.
• Unpredictable Outcomes: Every segment is subject to reversal by chance, keeping both listeners and participants off balance.
• Meta Comedy: The group’s awareness of their show's own absurdities provides continuous laughter and relatability.
• Friendship at the Forefront: Beneath the chaos, the trio’s affection for each other shines as they riff, cajole, and conspire their way through a web of their own making.

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Conclusion

"Best of Unfair: Part 1" is a masterclass in turning chaos into comedy. Through endless coin flips, moving targets for fairness, and a ruleset that mutates every five minutes, Mark, Wade, and Bob display why Distractible is one of the most entertaining podcasts for fans of both games and wit. If you want to understand the group’s dynamic and humor, this episode is essential listening—not for the rules, but for how gloriously they break them.

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End of Summary

(For listeners: Skip to ≈[02:37] for where the real episode (post-intro and ads) starts!)

Transcript

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[Mark]

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[Wade]

Mistaken vernacular to outright derailing episodes.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Wade]

It'S time for Best of Unfair part one.

[Bob]

So you like the writing down the rules? Is there anything we want to rip out? Do we want to rip out the subreddit appeal thing thing? Because I feel like that's been a mess.

[Mark]

Yeah, we didn't use it doesn't make sense. I don't even know if we should have an unfairness clause.

[Bob]

Shall I just write down remove all unfairness clauses.

[Mark]

We could do something where you know if someone declares something is unfair, something's done on the spot, but I don't know what that would be.

[Host/Moderator]

An immediate wheel.

[Mark]

Another wheel. Spin one more wheel.

[Bob]

The wheel of fairness.

[Host/Moderator]

If one of us declares something is unfair, we spin a wheel where either we win the appeal or we're forced to host a one man show. It's a risky claim.

[Mark]

No, no, it's got to be something with like trial by combat, you know, Is this unfair? Let God decide.

[Bob]

What if it's just a coin flip? Heads for fair, tails for unfair.

[Mark]

What if it's a really heavily stacked against it being unfair? Coin flip. Like you can declare it's unfair, but it's a 9 to 1 chance it's going to be fair.

[Host/Moderator]

Do you have to win three coin flips in a row for it to be fair?

[Bob]

I like that. Then we just, then we just have a wheel of fairness.

[Mark]

Nah, the coin flip is cool.

[Bob]

Okay, coin flips.

[Mark]

If you win three coin flips in a row, it was unfair and you are justified.

[Bob]

That is fate saying that's the universe taking your side.

[Mark]

Yeah. And you can only do that once.

[Host/Moderator]

What? A one in eight chance. Three coin flips, one in eight.

[Bob]

That's fair.

[Mark]

That's, that's actually.

[Bob]

That's pretty good. That's better than what Mark wanted.

[Host/Moderator]

What if you lose all three coin flips in a row? Is anything bad happen?

[Bob]

I mean once you lose one, I feel like you just stop. You don't lose again. Once you lose one, you, it is fair.

[Mark]

I mean, I'm saying if you forced it to flip three times, I get what he's doing it because you have to flip three times and that's another one in eight chance that something Terrible happens for daring. Invoke the un it's double point loss. You know, if you don't get three.

[Host/Moderator]

In a row, 75% chance you're good. 12 and a half percent, you win 12 and a half percent, you really lose.

[Mark]

That's good. I like that. So not just throwing out unfairness willy nilly.

[Host/Moderator]

There has to be a risk.

[Bob]

Okay, so if you lose three coin flips in a row, what was it?

[Host/Moderator]

You lose double the points or you get double the unfair.

[Mark]

Yeah, whatever. What you said was unfair will be dealt double.

[Host/Moderator]

So, like, if, if Mark gives you a point, I'm like, that should be my point. And I say it's unfair. You would get two points. Or, you know, if Mark says, I lose a point, I'm like, no, I don't lose a point. That's unfair. We do the three coin flips. Then I can either lose two or.

[Mark]

We should make it that as soon as the word unfair falls out of someone's mouth, it happens, even if they don't realize they're doing it. So we got to be very careful about what we're saying because as soon as the word unfair comes out, coin flip. Immediately stop everything what we're doing.

[Host/Moderator]

We're going to do an episode just called fair unfair, where every like three seconds. Well, guess we're flipping again.

[Bob]

All right, that's in there. Once per episode, you may declare unfairness by saying the word unfair out loud and initiate three coin flips. Win three in a row and unfairness is proven. Lose three flips in a row and it is made doubly unfair.

[Mark]

Well, it's made doubly fair because if it was unfair, then the unfairness would be valid.

[Bob]

That's fair enough. Fair enough.

[Host/Moderator]

If we say fair, you have to flip or just unfair? Both. Is that what we're saying?

[Mark]

The trigger word is unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

So like, thank you, Mark. That's incredibly fair. Nothing happens but like Mark, that's unfair. We immediately coin flip.

[Mark]

I think it also should be valid if you trick another host into, or another contestant into saying unfair.

[Bob]

I like that. I think if anyone ever says the word unfair for any reason and any of the other two people hear it and catch it, it is triggered.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Even if it's in, if it's a trick.

[Host/Moderator]

What about synonyms to unfair? What about like, when we say like.

[Bob]

That'S unreasonable has to be the word unfair.

[Mark]

What if you say fun fair?

[Host/Moderator]

Can't spell fun fair without unfair.

[Wade]

He said it.

[Bob]

No parts of other words, no hyphenations.

[Mark]

Must be Unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

I give us three episodes before we forget this.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah, no, the convolution is very good, though, because it will forget about it for, like, months, and then out of nowhere, during a highly heated episode, someone will just be like he said, and then it will happen, and it'll.

[Mark]

I think the audience can participate. If they catch us not saying it, they can remind us, and then we have to doubly unfair later. Nah, that's stupid. Ah, fuck me.

[Bob]

We. No, see, that's the thing. We don't need to enumerate that. I think we have a good rule here. And if the subreddit points out that we're not doing it, we can just on the fly, do whatever fucking bullshit we want and jazz it up later or do makeups or something, or ignore them because they suck or whatever we want. That removes all current unfairness clauses, and that's our. That's our current appeals and unfair process. No more red flags and blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Mark]

Yeah, none of that.

[Host/Moderator]

Great. Good constitution, boys.

[Mark]

We could trick the audience into getting our watch time up because they have to pay attention if they want to.

[Bob]

Yeah, they're going to have to really scrutinize.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, they're going to go back through and listen again, make sure they didn't.

[Mark]

Miss anything, the fools. Man, I would love to add two to the wheel. Like half a point for Bob and half a point for Wade. Wait, where am I then?

[Bob]

If I'm cool with that. That's fun. That's fun.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, I think Bob and I both.

[Wade]

Agree we can add two. All right, put it on.

[Host/Moderator]

This guy gets two slices of the wheel, but, you know, we'll let it slide this once.

[Wade]

I really want to.

[Mark]

I don't know if the host.

[Host/Moderator]

I can do this, but I don't think you can't.

[Bob]

I'm confused what would even happen if you succeeded. But I'd love to know.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, let's find out.

[Mark]

All right, I'm declaring unfair because I should have one of those. There should be one for me. But if it gets declared not double.

[Bob]

Fair, one more for each of us. Another guy. I fucking hope some tales come up.

[Host/Moderator]

So if Mark wins, we all get one or just him?

[Bob]

No, if Mark wins, he. He also gets one so that each of us has one. If Mark. If it's all tails, you and I get two, and Mark still has zero.

[Wade]

Okay, here we go.

[Mark]

Oh, no.

[Host/Moderator]

Is that tails?

[Bob]

No, mine's heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, mine is.

[Bob]

Mine is the lady. And traditionally the lion, or whatever the fuck this is has been my Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, so close. Bob, you got five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven plus five, sixteen points. Mark, you got five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Eight points. Seems like the dice didn't do you many favors. But we haven't done our wheel spins yet, so maybe you can. Right, you're right. Eight points on wheel spins if there's one.

[Mark]

All right, here's why I'm not throwing. The thing is because I get. Dice are impartial.

[Host/Moderator]

Thank you.

[Mark]

And there's no way that I could have universally injected luck into them, but I can.

[Wade]

Now. I am invoking you, gods of the coin. I declare unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, so I just read you. The score was 16 to 8. Invoking unfair. You're saying that's not the score. So if you were right.

[Bob]

I want.

[Host/Moderator]

I just want a chance you would double your score to.

[Bob]

No, I don't.

[Mark]

Here's what I. Oh, gods of coin. I just want to remove all points.

[Wade]

That were decided by a dumb question mark. Make me have a chance.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay. All right.

[Bob]

So that. What's the. What's the tails outcome of that?

[Host/Moderator]

Double. All the points are added by question marks. Yeah.

[Bob]

Oh, question mark only question.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, if it's either no question marks or all or double question marks. Right.

[Bob]

No, I like that. What if all the points are converted to question marks, but all new question marks have to be rolled? So then. Then we. Then it basically kind of resets the points in. It is. It will be even more fair. Doubly fair.

[Mark]

If question marks are the fair way, then that so shall it be.

[Wade]

But if they're unfair. Get them out of here.

[Host/Moderator]

If Mark wins, the score would be 11 points. Bob, 10 points mark before we go into wheels.

[Bob]

All right, all right.

[Mark]

I would take it.

[Host/Moderator]

If it's all question marks, then the score is 5 to negative 2. With a whole lot of sixes to roll.

[Mark]

All right, I'm okay with this. Come on.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads is Mark. Tails.

[Bob]

All heads is. Gets rid of question marks. All tails is all question marks. I love this. This is my favorite one we've done so far.

[Mark]

This is. This is what it's meant to be. Please don't be nothing.

[Wade]

Ha.

[Host/Moderator]

Tails.

[Mark]

Oh, my God. Tails. Tails.

[Bob]

That's tails because heads is the lady in the dress.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, so we're into all question marks.

[Wade]

I guess that's an acceptable outcome.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, right now it's not looking good for you.

[Wade]

Thank you, gods of unfair. I maybe hold on for a second before I thank you.

[Host/Moderator]

So I have to roll 10 D6s for Mark, and 11 D6 is for Bob. And then do all the math.

[Bob]

I like my chances. Starting with a three point lead.

[Host/Moderator]

You have a seven point lead, Bob. It's all question marks.

[Mark]

That's all right. Get ready for the most sixes you've ever seen in your life. And I just hope it's on my turn.

[Bob]

All right. So who's this for then?

[Host/Moderator]

Mark, you won the challenge. No, you lost the challenge. Technically.

[Bob]

Technically.

[Host/Moderator]

So, Bob, you decide who goes first.

[Bob]

I want to go first.

[Host/Moderator]

All right. Bob is first. Bob, I have to roll eleven D sixes for you.

[Bob]

Yes. Good.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Host/Moderator]

One, two.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

Three.

[Mark]

Four, oh.

[Host/Moderator]

Five.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

Six.

[Bob]

Yes. Seven. Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

Eight.

[Bob]

Oh.

[Host/Moderator]

Nine.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

Ten.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

Eleven.

[Wade]

Yes.

[Bob]

No, wait. No.

[Mark]

I don't know what the hell that came out to.

[Bob]

I gotta. I got a final tally of three plus three to my score. But we'll see if everyone agrees.

[Host/Moderator]

I got plus three is the end. That's what you said.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's what I got.

[Host/Moderator]

You have a plus three and you already had a five. So right now you're at eight.

[Bob]

Yes. Eight to negative two.

[Mark]

That. That's in the range.

[Bob]

That is possible.

[Host/Moderator]

Mark, you started at negative 2. You've got 10 rolls.

[Mark]

I'm watch.

[Bob]

You better roll some fucking winners.

[Host/Moderator]

10 times 1.

[Bob]

No.

[Host/Moderator]

2. 3.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

4.

[Bob]

All right.

[Host/Moderator]

5.

[Bob]

Nope.

[Host/Moderator]

6.

[Mark]

No.

[Bob]

7.

[Host/Moderator]

No.

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8?

[Bob]

No.

[Host/Moderator]

9.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Mark]

10? Yes. No.

[Bob]

That's so close. Wait.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, so, mark, we got plus one. It's minus one plus one. Plus one. Plus three. Plus two.

[Mark]

Huh?

[Host/Moderator]

Plus one plus three.

[Bob]

No.

[Host/Moderator]

Minus one plus three. Is that right? One, two.

[Bob]

I got 12. I got 12, 11, minus one's 10.

[Host/Moderator]

Plus I got 13.

[Bob]

Oh, well, I'm not very good at math, but I agree.

[Host/Moderator]

I might be wrong. Here, let me. Let me double check.

[Mark]

No, that's what I got. I got 13 too.

[Bob]

So you're probably right. I'm not gonna. I did that all on the fly on my fingers.

[Host/Moderator]

1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 11, 10, 13.

[Bob]

Minus 2, 11.

[Host/Moderator]

So 11 for Mark is greater than 8 for Bob?

[Bob]

No.

[Host/Moderator]

What a weird switch.

[Mark]

Man. Wade, your size is weird.

[Host/Moderator]

What does that mean? What does that mean?

[Mark]

It's. It's got two lie points, some negatives. A scratched out completely thing going on here, man. You might want to flip that coin some.

[Host/Moderator]

Ain't right here.

[Wade]

All right.

[Bob]

Unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

I'll do it right now.

[Mark]

All right, well, you didn't. I didn't.

[Bob]

What is it? For What? What's unfair?

[Wade]

I was gonna say. Let me read it first and then you could. No, I declare unfair to your points.

[Bob]

Yes. All of Wade's points are unfair. I like this. This could go. Go really well for me.

[Mark]

All right, so if it's all unfair, then I need to reverse all of the. But I'll tell you, that's not going to help you.

[Bob]

No, I like this. This is good.

[Host/Moderator]

At least that they'd be fair.

[Wade]

You could have let me read them first.

[Host/Moderator]

All right, that would have been more unfair.

[Mark]

All right.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay.

[Mark]

All right.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Mark]

Where's my coin? There it is.

[Wade]

Here we go.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Bob]

Tails.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Sorry, bud. All right, Very fair. Very fair. Points. Fair points. Thank you, Mark.

[Bob]

For a fair game, I'm clearly biased against you because that's your third strike. You're out of here.

[Mark]

Thank God.

[Host/Moderator]

Unless. Where's my coin?

[Bob]

Oh, God.

[Wade]

Oh, God.

[Host/Moderator]

I think this game should keep going.

[Wade]

Unfair. God dammit.

[Bob]

Okay, so you are challenging that it's unfair that that ends that specific round that you think you should continue to do?

[Host/Moderator]

I think stupid was a stupid answer.

[Bob]

Well, that's true, but I wasn't looking for. All right, so if we get all heads, then Wade wins. If we get all tails, then Wade loses. And it was fair and shall be made doubly fair.

[Host/Moderator]

Yes.

[Bob]

I got tails.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Bob]

Oh, damn it turns out it was perfectly. It was the right amount of fair.

[Host/Moderator]

Reflip.

[Bob]

An unfair fair.

[Wade]

Double dog unfair.

[Bob]

I appreciate that you tried that, Wade.

[Host/Moderator]

Alright, well, I can't argue anymore. The coin is declared.

[Bob]

Who gives a fuck about what. What would be inside the diary of a CEO?

[Wade]

What?

[Bob]

Oh. Oh. July 27th. Too much money.

[Wade]

Today they brought three big trucks full of money to my house.

[Bob]

And I was like, where am I to put all of this money? Oh, my money closets are all full. I'll have to start filling my third pool with money. And I was like, oh, then I could Scrooge McDuck my way through the pool. But we all know that doesn't work. We've all tried that. When you get your first few truckloads of money, everybody tries the Scrooge McDuck life is unfair.

[Wade]

Oh, no, wait.

[Bob]

But I didn't say it. He said it.

[Wade]

Oh, no, no.

[Host/Moderator]

So wait, this was not even Bob. This was Steven Bartlett calling unfair.

[Mark]

All right, if it's. If it's all heads, Stephen Bartlett's podcast gets deleted. If it's all tails, our podcast gets deleted. It's the only way.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, well, let's see what happens, I guess.

[Bob]

This is a really important coin flip.

[Wade]

Wait, there's more.

[Bob]

Wait.

[Mark]

All right, you know what?

[Bob]

Fuck it.

[Host/Moderator]

Here we go.

[Wade]

Huh?

[Bob]

Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, thank God.

[Wade]

Oh, we almost got him. Oh, that was close.

[Mark]

I like how mine's a dramatic reveal because the focus doesn't work anymore.

[Bob]

I like how mine's a dramatic reveal because. What the fuck is mine? Mine's a lady and a lion. The lion is tails. Don't ask questions.

[Host/Moderator]

Mine's a George and an eagle. Oh, one of us needs to. Unfair at the. Oh, I already said it.

[Bob]

Anyway, Wade said unfair.

[Wade]

So either we both get two points or we both get none. Ah, you heard the mayor. You know what?

[Host/Moderator]

I got my coin.

[Mark]

God damn it.

[Bob]

Ah.

[Mark]

Heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, tails.

[Bob]

Well, mine doesn't even matter.

[Host/Moderator]

That brings our current score. Mark at 12, Bob at 9, me at 1. The switching of Bob's point really made a difference here.

[Bob]

I declare unfair on the final point totals.

[Mark]

Okay, what. What are we gonna. No points, no points. No points. If no points, that would make it.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah. So what. What does this change? Do I ever reverse them?

[Bob]

If it is unfair and I win, I think they should be reversed. And if it's. If it's fair, then they stay the same. And if it's to be made doubly fair, I guess Mark should probably get double points or some.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, no, everyone would get double points. It'd be doubly fair.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's true. And then we'd be doubly distant, but not impossibly distant. Well, it'd still be impossibly distant.

[Host/Moderator]

All right, so I reversed the points. If it's.

[Bob]

If it's all heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay.

[Bob]

I got heads. Oh.

[Mark]

Oh.

[Host/Moderator]

I got head. But hold on. If I reverse the points, don't I end up with 12?

[Mark]

No, you don't. It's just me and him.

[Host/Moderator]

Ah, fuck. I really thought I was gonna give myself the win there.

[Bob]

I can't believe that worked.

[Host/Moderator]

Bob, you got half a point for both on the hoof and frog sticks. Sure. Two TikTok updates. Need help Escaping TikTok, Bigfoot, Vlogging. Tinders on a Boat. Amorous Congress, Red Robin. Red baron. World War I. Bronze Ferdinand. Lean away. Oh, Coppa Mouse. Happy Cabbage. And Mark's a coward. Mark, you got a half point for groping. You got points for hit that horse. Google crimes alleged. Oh, Google's alleged crimes. Coding, genius. Eggs on toast. Hump the something. Hump the swag.

[Mark]

Yeah, there was so much time in between the previous point and that point in the ketchup.

[Host/Moderator]

Take the egg. Fly rig.

[Wade]

Wait, there's a hole. The entire episode in between the. The fuck.

[Host/Moderator]

Wait, I might not have read the words in order.

[Wade]

This doesn't Answer any questions. Wait, there's a hole in between there that's missing. No fun.

[Bob]

Fair.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, unfair.

[Wade]

There's an entire section of the episode that I was not scored upon. Meanwhile, Bob got two for the same thing. A joke about the Red Baron and Franz Ferdinand were one after the other.

[Host/Moderator]

That was all just one point.

[Mark]

Oh, well, still unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

All right. Unfair. Something's unfair in here. I guess we'll see. And I'll figure it out.

[Mark]

My score. You need to review the entire episode and you need to count again for all of my correct and or half point answers and cross reference it to make sure that your scoring is correct.

[Host/Moderator]

All right.

[Wade]

Heads.

[Bob]

Tails. Heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, very close.

[Mark]

You're lucky.

[Host/Moderator]

That was close. Lucky I did. I wouldn't have done it.

[Bob]

No, you would have had to do it or you would have been cursed forever by the coins.

[Host/Moderator]

Hey, I'll take the curse. I guess I'm pretty lazy.

[Bob]

That leaves Wade with a total of six points and Mark with a total of eight and a half points.

[Host/Moderator]

I'm not as far behind as I should have been.

[Mark]

I thought.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, I thought that would have been.

[Wade]

A much bigger discrepancy there.

[Bob]

I'm sorry. Mark has ten and a half points.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Wade]

There we go.

[Bob]

I didn't write down the last couple.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, but does he?

[Bob]

Well, you have to say the word unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

But you're calling it.

[Wade]

I'm calling it. I want this to be in my hands. My luck's way better than his.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay.

[Bob]

All right. We'll decide what happens if we have to. Mark has declared unfair. I hope we don't have to figure out what the fuck this means.

[Mark]

Yeah, I don't know either, but I think, like, we'll figure it out.

[Bob]

Yeah. Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads. Heads.

[Bob]

Well, my tail spoiled it for everybody.

[Host/Moderator]

I think three heads would have favored Mark because he called it.

[Bob]

So really glad we didn't just have to figure that out. Oh, my God.

[Host/Moderator]

I actually died of old age.

[Bob]

That's my bit.

[Mark]

I don't think I could give that point. Because you're clearly not dead.

[Host/Moderator]

I got better.

[Bob]

What if he's undead? Not alive, just undead.

[Mark]

Oh, Bob, how do you feel about this? Do you feel like if this was in that old time, would we have given that point?

[Host/Moderator]

Can I remind you of the rules of the last one? We didn't have to tell the truth.

[Mark]

That was the last one. I didn't say that here.

[Host/Moderator]

It's implied.

[Bob]

It's kind of implied, but he didn't say it. So I'm conflicted as a person who would Benefit from Wade not getting the point. I feel like I'm obligated to say he shouldn't get that point. Obviously.

[Mark]

I'll give you nothing.

[Host/Moderator]

I'll take it.

[Wade]

As I declare unfair.

[Bob]

All right.

[Mark]

Okay. All right. I had a feeling that was.

[Bob]

I thought you were going to say. I'll give you the point if you can die right now of old age. First one to die live on episode wins.

[Mark]

Here's how it goes. We're going to. We're going to flip. If it's all heads, it was unfair, and I'll reverse. I'll let you get that point. If it's mixed, nothing. If it's tails, you have to die and come back to life on camera.

[Host/Moderator]

All right.

[Bob]

Fair.

[Host/Moderator]

All right. Fair.

[Mark]

All right. We all said fair. All right, here we go.

[Bob]

Three.

[Wade]

Whoa.

[Bob]

Heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Mark]

Damn. Nothing happens. We all walk away from this.

[Bob]

Mark's was tails for anyone who.

[Mark]

Mine was tails.

[Bob]

Sorry.

[Host/Moderator]

Not watching it Wasn't focusing right away. So I was like, heads. Heads and blur.

[Wade]

Heads and blur.

[Mark]

It was close one, but I'm not gonna give that to you.

[Wade]

All right.

[Bob]

I was almost 50. 50.

[Mark]

I feel like some of my points were really long, and it could have been two merged together.

[Host/Moderator]

So I can read my tallies really easily. I just can't read my descriptions really easily. Bob wins. As long as you all think that's fair.

[Mark]

Okay. I don't know what's real.

[Host/Moderator]

I might struggle to read and write, but I can make tallies.

[Bob]

Mark, you could always.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, you're gonna go for the multiple wins.

[Mark]

Yeah. What would be the stakes if I did?

[Host/Moderator]

So either Bob gets two wins, things stay as is, or you win and Bob loses.

[Bob]

I think. Yeah.

[Mark]

I feel like there's a part of the Constitution where the scorecard must be legible, and that was just a few too many illegible ones.

[Wade]

I declare that there should be a recount because this no.

[Mark]

1 even.

[Wade]

He doesn't even know what he gave me points for, and that is unfair.

[Bob]

Oh, he said it.

[Host/Moderator]

Unfair has been declared. If we get three heads, Mark is correct.

[Mark]

You have to read them correctly. You have to. The episode will not end until you actually decipher what your writing was so that we can make this fair.

[Host/Moderator]

That's the host. I decline that. So.

[Wade]

No, don't try to read now as.

[Host/Moderator]

The host, if Mark gets three heads, he'll just win.

[Bob]

I think the host does get to decide what happens, But I like Mark's version.

[Mark]

I get to petition what is unfair, and then he gets.

[Host/Moderator]

If you lose, do you just lose twice or does Bob win twice or both?

[Bob]

I think either I win twice or Mark gives up a win.

[Mark]

Yeah, that is true. We are keeping score of that. That does matter.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, heads for you, tails for Bob. I got a head.

[Bob]

I got heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Only Mark didn't get Mark.

[Bob]

Only Mark can prevent Mark from winning.

[Host/Moderator]

Sounds like what happened today was very fair.

[Bob]

It was fair. It was deemed fair.

[Mark]

All right, whatever you say. Well, Wade, don't. Don't be too shocked because you have a zebra, which very easy target for a Panther. That takes one of the Panthers away.

[Wade]

Wait, I just has bait to defeat. Panthers? You have Zoe Saldana, who can see. But the problem is.

[Mark]

I said three and a half Panthers.

[Wade]

Oh, don't worry.

[Host/Moderator]

I could account for that.

[Mark]

That you've got a zap cannon. What the was zap cannon again?

[Host/Moderator]

It's a move that, like, does crazy damage, but I think it's only got, like, a 33% chance to hit.

[Bob]

So presumably it would kill half of a Panther.

[Mark]

Okay, it's 33%, which. But it's half a panther, so it's slower. Look, man, the zipper ain't gonna help you. I think this is still a 5050 shot.

[Wade]

I'm not hurt, but the. The bait really got your numbers down.

[Mark]

The bait really worked.

[Bob]

Yeah. I didn't see the vision until just now. That makes so much sense how it.

[Mark]

Weighs on your conscience. I don't know. How's that feel, Wade? Is that okay? You live with that.

[Host/Moderator]

Already forgotten about it.

[Wade]

Let's see if you're gonna keep forgetting about it.

[Mark]

Oh, no.

[Bob]

Oh, that looks like a heads.

[Mark]

No, that's a tails.

[Wade]

Unfair.

[Mark]

Unfair. Okay.

[Bob]

He called unfair on that coin flip. You call unfair. That's the thing.

[Mark]

Yes. Okay, so if. If it's unfair, obviously you survive it overturns it. But if it's doubly fair, you lose a point.

[Host/Moderator]

Deal?

[Mark]

Deal. All right, here we go.

[Wade]

Bonk.

[Bob]

Wham. Heads.

[Mark]

Tails. So close. So close, man.

[Host/Moderator]

Unfair times two.

[Bob]

Listen, we're going to have to add some stuff to the Constitution if you.

[Mark]

Want to do that, all right? Sorry, Wade. It didn't work out for you, man.

[Host/Moderator]

Half a Panther away. Hello.

[Bob]

Mark gets a point for listening.

[Host/Moderator]

I knew the times. I do. It doesn't matter what time Mark does.

[Wade]

God damn it.

[Bob]

I should have listened. Oh.

[Mark]

Does something seem a little to you?

[Wade]

Does it seem a little to you?

[Host/Moderator]

Huh? Oh, it does, but I'm not gonna.

[Bob]

Be points at stake.

[Host/Moderator]

You feel a little.

[Wade]

It's unfair.

[Bob]

Whoa.

[Host/Moderator]

All right.

[Bob]

He did was a Bit, but he just did it. All right. Wade has declared that Mark getting points for listening is unfair. Yes.

[Mark]

I didn't even realize I got a point for that. Oh, okay. Yeah, that does seem okay. I thought he just acknowledged me.

[Host/Moderator]

No, he gave you a point.

[Bob]

You listened. You said hi. But anyway, so all. All three heads. Wade is correct and Mark will not get a point for listening. And Wade will get a point for not listening, I guess.

[Host/Moderator]

Yes.

[Bob]

All three Tails markets bonus points for listing. And nothing happens if this mixed. Ready, set. I dropped my coin. Fucking shit.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Wade]

Oh, no.

[Bob]

Does that count as a flip or do I flip it? I dropped it and it's tails on the floor. Does that count as a flip or do I re flip it?

[Mark]

You got a triangle of fairness up into the screen. But remember it's surface side up, so you'd have to show it backwards.

[Host/Moderator]

Wait, doesn't that mean. Isn't tails mean mark is 2 points?

[Bob]

This is my tails. It's a lion. The lion is tails. Mark gets a bonus point.

[Mark]

I baited him into getting me a point. This is a great episode. I hope it's nice and short and that we can end soon.

[Host/Moderator]

This is just not my season. It's just not my season.

[Bob]

Not your life, buddy.

[Mark]

I don't need it. But I gotta say, man, if you are doing the 3D work like there, it's just. It's not fair. It's not fair. The landscape is not. This is why I don't want intel to D. Even though they seem to be doing everything possible to die.

[Wade]

Like, everything.

[Mark]

Every time I see an article about intel, it's like they're trying to explode as a company. But it's just like, man, there's gotta be more competition. There has to be. It's just so unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh.

[Wade]

Oh, fucking God damn it. It's been called and declared.

[Mark]

Please don't take away the GPU that I bought.

[Host/Moderator]

Please don't take it away.

[Bob]

So if it's all. If it's all heads, Mark has to buy another one. If it's all tails, Mark to. Mark has to cut it in half and send half to Wade and me.

[Wade]

Wait, those are both bad for me. Unfair has been declared. I don't think that's how it works.

[Bob]

We don't have to decide before we flip. We just have to flip and see if we have to decide. Okay. All right.

[Host/Moderator]

Tails.

[Bob]

Heads.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, there goes the coin for the day.

[Mark]

It's such a jump scare.

[Sponsor Announcer]

I have a bunch left, but one more.

[Bob]

There's a rule about this one. And it might feel unfair.

[Wade]

Oh, shit. Oh, wait.

[Bob]

All right. Well, I guess we're doing the thing.

[Host/Moderator]

I didn't know the host could call unfair, but here we are.

[Bob]

Anyone can do it. I'm not sure what the outcome of this will be, but hopefully nothing.

[Host/Moderator]

All right.

[Mark]

I guess we don't play this round if it's declared to be unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

Let's find out. Out.

[Bob]

Minus tails.

[Mark]

Okay, I got tails.

[Bob]

Oh.

[Mark]

Oh, frick.

[Bob]

Oh, no. Wait.

[Wade]

Oh, God. What does that mean?

[Bob]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So I declared unfair and you lost. And I lost. So it will be made doubly fair. What I declared unfair was this category. So to make it doubly fair, all.

[Mark]

Points in this round are doubled.

[Bob]

The only the points from this category count in the game.

[Wade]

Oh, fuck.

[Mark]

Oh, that would.

[Bob]

That.

[Mark]

I mean, you're the host.

[Bob]

Is that doubly fair?

[Host/Moderator]

I guess so.

[Mark]

That would be okay. All right.

[Bob]

Fuck. All right. So much shit written down.

[Host/Moderator]

Careful what you wish for. I was thinking to myself, I feel like there were a lot of Judge Mrs. Today, which is pretty much equal on both of our sides. Honestly.

[Wade]

Unfair.

[Mark]

All right, so what is the qualification here?

[Bob]

Yeah, what's unfair?

[Host/Moderator]

I should have 12. That's it.

[Bob]

So we'd be tied at 12.

[Host/Moderator]

Either I get 12 and we're tied or Bob gets double and has 24.

[Mark]

I'm going to say this. I definitely made a lot of errors. If you get this right, if all of it comes up heads, it has to all come up heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, it will.

[Mark]

I'll put you at 11, because let's say. I don't think we can say you gave a better performance. But I will say that there might have been some judge mishaps. If you get this, all right, It'll go to 11. If you get it all wrong, you go to 7 because 7. 11.

[Host/Moderator]

That's fair. I'll get a big slurp.

[Mark]

All right, here we go. Wham.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, not mine.

[Bob]

I got tails also.

[Wade]

Oh.

[Host/Moderator]

All right.

[Mark]

Eight to 12. We could. I think we have to roll the points ceremoniously.

[Bob]

I'm not really afraid of that for my own purposes, but that seems really unfair to James.

[Wade]

Oh.

[Bob]

Oh. You could have just let it happen.

[Wade]

No, I caught that one.

[Mark]

What was unfair to James?

[Bob]

If I die, that would be really unfair to James.

[Mark]

All right, you can't die if you.

[Wade]

Win this, but if you lose it, you die right now.

[Bob]

If I win this coin flip, do I gain invincibility?

[Host/Moderator]

You do.

[Mark]

Yes. By the powers invested in the. In the Constitution of distractible.

[Bob]

You will become immortal.

[Mark]

And then opposite that, you will die way sooner. I don't think I can kill you.

[Bob]

Right here, but which one am I rooting for? Heads.

[Mark]

Heads means you will be immortal.

[Bob]

Guys, if you could get heads on this. Of all the coin flips I've ever lost.

[Host/Moderator]

I'll do my best.

[Bob]

If we could get heads on this one.

[Mark]

All right, here we go.

[Bob]

Hit.

[Wade]

It's heads.

[Host/Moderator]

I did it.

[Bob]

No way.

[Wade]

Oh, is that heads?

[Bob]

Yeah. Yeah. The ladies heads. The ladies heads.

[Wade]

He's immortal, everybody.

[Bob]

I'm. I'm immortal.

[Host/Moderator]

Congratulations, dude.

[Mark]

I got. I gotta write that down. Do you feel it?

[Bob]

I do feel better. My back doesn't hurt anymore.

[Host/Moderator]

You were so right. That would be unfair to James. That now it's. You're so right.

[Bob]

That would be so unfair. And so I'm immortal now.

[Mark]

Okay, then.

[Bob]

I still didn't imagine. I felt like I needed. I wish I had a better coin. Yeah. Lion is tails on mine. And I got lady. Lady is heads.

[Host/Moderator]

I'm just glad we had your back. We're such good friends, Mark.

[Mark]

Yeah, I tried really hard and it worked.

[Bob]

If I actually did gain immortality from that, that makes up for all the other coin flips I've ever lost. I'm not even mad about it.

[Host/Moderator]

Until the world explodes and you're left alone as the last living person karmically in the universe.

[Bob]

That makes total sense.

[Wade]

Also, I declare unfair because I think.

[Mark]

That it was started that wah wah point just seems like it was against me.

[Host/Moderator]

Wait, you declared unfair after the number of spins?

[Bob]

I think it's. I think it's still in play. I think it's still in play.

[Mark]

I think if it's before the wheel.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, if that's true, then what happens?

[Bob]

Let's just flip first and see what happens.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay. All right. Heads, we do what is good for Mark. Tails, we don't. Oh, I got heads.

[Bob]

Heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, so Mark has one unfair. That the Wawa point point wasn't fair for him.

[Mark]

No, that's what I. What I said. I said that there was clear. That is indicative of. That there was bias from the very beginning of this. I think an extra point in my favor to undo the bias is the only thing.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, so you think an extra point in your favor makes up for that?

[Mark]

Yeah, because I believe there was bias from the beginning. But I'm not saying that it was super. I'm not saying it should change the entire scope of the game, but I feel like that levels the playing field a bit.

[Bob]

I feel like that's a pretty rational request.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay. I mean, you won. I'm not gonna argue with you. If you think an extra point evens it up, I'll give you the extra point.

[Bob]

Okay, well, so are we just negative one days of rest? We better get the fuck out of here.

[Mark]

The dice spoke. We all agreed.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, hold on. Two of us agreed and one of us shouldn't even be talking because they're in the back.

[Bob]

But.

[Mark]

Well, we have an official means to do to raise objections, and I am not doing it.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh.

[Bob]

No, Wade's happy. Wade's happy. Wade agrees.

[Mark]

Okay, well, let's get it over with. It's not going to go your way.

[Bob]

Three heads and it was fair. Three tails and it was unfair. And Wade gets something. We'll decide what happens after the fact.

[Host/Moderator]

I thought heads went to the person who called.

[Bob]

Unfair is heads. Heads, Wade wins. Tails, Mark wins.

[Mark]

Yeah, he wanted to rest.

[Host/Moderator]

I think tails we. Not only do we not rest, tails, we have to cut rations, too.

[Mark]

Yeah, well. Oh, yeah, that's. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Bob]

It needs to be made even more fair. All right, let's. Let's flip them, gentlemen. Tails. Oh, fuck. Wade, why can't you just cheat?

[Host/Moderator]

Why can't you two both cheat? Give me heads.

[Bob]

All right, it was fair. As is to the trail, my boys.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, Fucking Tanya's dying. Better not give us anything. Mark, loser speech.

[Mark]

Still too late.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, the winner speech was given. I think that's the rule, isn't it?

[Bob]

I'll allow it.

[Mark]

Bob, keep talking.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah, I wasn't done, by the way. Oh, also, I just want to say that.

[Wade]

Unfair.

[Mark]

Does it count?

[Host/Moderator]

Bob said he'd allow it, and I just frankly don't give a shit, so. Sure.

[Bob]

All right.

[Mark]

I think. What do I think?

[Host/Moderator]

What's unfair? Bob's winner speech.

[Wade]

What is unfair? I'm trying to. I'm trying to really scrape the bottom of the rule barrel here for a.

[Mark]

Way to eke out a win.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, you think the final score is unfair?

[Bob]

Yeah, you can challenge the final score. That's allowed.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Mark]

I think because Bob is running the wheel that he's biasing it for himself.

[Bob]

Probably.

[Mark]

Probably.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, so you're saying specifically the wheel spins were unfair?

[Mark]

Yeah. Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

And the wheel spins went to Bob and listeners. So if you win, the points go to you and viewers.

[Mark]

Yeah, that seems only fair.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay. All right. So three heads means Mark is correct and wins. Three tails, it's doubly fair. Otherwise it stays the same.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Wade]

Tails.

[Bob]

Heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Tails.

[Bob]

Heads. I think we should do one final round that it turns out is worth.

[Host/Moderator]

Don't say it. It's fine.

[Bob]

Just let me lose two points. Three points. We'll do three points.

[Mark]

Unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

Unfair.

[Bob]

All right.

[Wade]

I mean, I feel like this one, I feel like that's the most clear I could do.

[Bob]

Yeah. No. Okay, so I said this final round is worth three points. So it's either gonna be worth normal points or six points, I guess.

[Mark]

Yeah. Yeah. I think that has to be it.

[Bob]

Oh, I got heads.

[Mark]

I got heads. Are you sad? You get it?

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, is that good for me?

[Wade]

It could be if you get it.

[Bob]

I was just hoping something funny would happen. I met Heads. Ah, there he is. There we go.

[Mark]

No, no, no, no. Is this for the steel?

[Bob]

Yeah. Why did I go first?

[Host/Moderator]

Just determine who went first. It doesn't give anyone an advantage or disadvantage. Just determines who went first.

[Mark]

Although, what was the point of fighting over it? I was getting really upset.

[Host/Moderator]

I don't know why you fought over. We do this all the time. It's always supposed to be fair. Just we determine who goes first, man.

[Mark]

I don't know, man. It seems unfair.

[Wade]

Fuck.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Fuck.

[Bob]

Wait, was that not a bit?

[Wade]

No, no.

[Mark]

That was out of my mouth.

[Host/Moderator]

He said it.

[Wade]

He said it out of my mouth before I realized it.

[Bob]

All right, so. What? What? You were complaining about me going first.

[Wade]

I don't remember. I don't know.

[Bob]

Well, it's Wade's choice. Wade, what is the result of this? All heads, all tails, or neutral?

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, heads favors Mark. He chose heads before you wanted tails. So if it gets heads three times, I guess Mark gets a point. If it's tails three times, Bob gets a point. We'll just make it simple. All right.

[Bob]

That's not very convoluted at all, but okay.

[Host/Moderator]

It's not supposed to be convoluted.

[Wade]

I want to go first. I want that to be. That's what I think is unfair. I should have gone first because his flipping was all unfair. I demand if it's on.

[Mark]

If it's declared unfair, I get to go first.

[Bob]

And if it's declared fair, I get to go first the entire rest of the episode.

[Mark]

Yeah, that's.

[Bob]

That's it.

[Host/Moderator]

So, no, you guys don't want any points out of this.

[Wade]

This isn't about points.

[Bob]

This is the principle of the matter.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, all heads. Mark gets to go first the rest of the time. All tails, Bob gets to go.

[Mark]

That wouldn't be fair. I just want to go.

[Wade]

I want to go once.

[Mark]

I get first once.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, first once or Bob gets It.

[Bob]

The rest of the episode is doubly unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

That is doubly okay. And if it's anything in between, nothing changes.

[Mark]

Yeah. All right.

[Host/Moderator]

Ready?

[Wade]

So it is decreed.

[Bob]

Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, two heads. Nothing happens. I was perfect. We'll move on.

[Bob]

I got. I got the lion. The lioness. Tails. Man, I really should have looked at what was on this coin. It's confusing that neither of these is a head. It's just a lady and a lion.

[Host/Moderator]

You did say last episode lady heads.

[Bob]

The lady has a head, but the lion has a head.

[Mark]

Wait, did you flip your heads?

[Bob]

What?

[Mark]

Did you change your heads?

[Bob]

No, the lion was always tails. My line is tails. Line has a tail. Light is tails. Lady has a head. Lady is heads. It's just a stupid coin. I wish I'd done a better job finding my coin. I got so excited that it was.

[Mark]

You could still buy another one. You could buy.

[Bob]

I know, but I'm trying to buy less stuff from the Internet. It's not working.

[Mark]

If you.

[Bob]

Oh, wait.

[Mark]

Okay. Buy a cnc mill your own coin.

[Bob]

Okay, okay. Okay.

[Host/Moderator]

Then have a lady looking away as heads, and you push up a lion's tail as the tails.

[Bob]

I'm gonna make a series of coins for each of the matchups. So I'll have one coin that's me and Mark, One coin that's me and Wade. And one coin that's Mark and Wade. And then that way I can flip the appropriate coin for whatever the situation is.

[Host/Moderator]

That's incredibly fair.

[Mark]

Before anything can happen. That pharaoh croaks because he was very old. So he actually died almost two days after the pyramid was completed.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, no. Now the unfair D is going to take over.

[Mark]

But your message was heard, and he enacted some.

[Bob]

Paul, Wade said the word.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, I did.

[Bob]

Wade said the word.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, I did accidentally say the word.

[Bob]

What does that mean?

[Mark]

I don't know.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, my God.

[Bob]

Wade said the word. Which means Wade triggered it. I have no idea what the last points you gave were.

[Host/Moderator]

Mark was writing something down there.

[Mark]

Oh, I was trying to remember what. The steps that Bob even took while I was saying all that. But I was saying that he died. Was his death unfair to you? He enacted policies. He enacted policies to start against slavery. You think that's unfair?

[Host/Moderator]

I just wanted a pun on the word Pharaoh. So I said unfair D. Wade is pro slavery.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Host/Moderator]

That guy should live longer. You know what? He shouldn't die.

[Bob]

No, you don't get to bail that.

[Host/Moderator]

He was.

[Bob]

He had just abolished slavery. That had just happened. So Wade is challenging that I did not succeed in eliminating slavery and freeing all the people.

[Host/Moderator]

I really changed my opinion on the whole thing after my month of vlogging. So I. Yeah, I think it was.

[Bob]

Two days, but that's fine. So, three heads, and that's a success. And that is unfair. And it gets changed. Three tails, and that's a failure. And that is very fair. And it. What? It's doubly made. Doubly fair. Whatever mark determines that to be. This is a confusing rule that we invented.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, sure is.

[Mark]

But I think. Yeah, I think. Yeah, we'll figure it out if it lands on that.

[Bob]

All right. My coin is the lady is heads. The lion guy is tails because he has a tail.

[Host/Moderator]

Head. Heads. Bird Tails.

[Bob]

Yeah. Yours don't need explanation. Are we doing this?

[Mark]

Yes. Ready? Here we.

[Host/Moderator]

Go.

[Mark]

Head.

[Bob]

Tails.

[Mark]

All right. Okay. All right. Almost at that. I don't know what would have happened.

[Wade]

If anything went wrong there.

[Mark]

Okay, wait. You want to. Shame on philosophy.

[Host/Moderator]

Point.

[Mark]

No, I'm giving you one. I'm giving you one. No.

[Host/Moderator]

I refuse it. No. I want negative on. I endorse philosophy.

[Mark]

You'll have to flip a coin for that to work.

[Wade]

All right, I'm forcing this on you.

[Host/Moderator]

All right. Heads. I'm right. Tails.

[Bob]

You're wrong.

[Mark]

No, no, he didn't call it.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, you're wrong, buddy. You're wrong.

[Mark]

P H I L O S O.

[Host/Moderator]

P. I refuse this point. I protest this point.

[Bob]

Philosophically speaking. You can't do that.

[Host/Moderator]

That's unfair.

[Mark]

There it is. All right. You said unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

Where is chica?

[Mark]

All right, I got a. I got a box here.

[Sponsor Announcer]

That's what I'll do.

[Wade]

I'll get this box.

[Mark]

It's pretty uniform.

[Host/Moderator]

Boxes are designed to be flipped. Have you ever seen an Amazon delivery driver?

[Bob]

Boxes are just thick coins waiting to be flipped.

[Mark]

All right, so it's a. It's a Thunderbolt cable box. This is heads. Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

What if it lands on its side?

[Mark]

We've always had that rule, and I don't remember what the answer was, but we. We have a rule for that.

[Bob]

That's true.

[Mark]

Here we go.

[Bob]

Heads. Heads.

[Mark]

Heads.

[Bob]

Whoa.

[Mark]

What the fuck?

[Wade]

I win.

[Mark]

You don't get a point for that, Wade. Wow. All right. No point for Wade.

[Bob]

Wait, so does that mean Wade loses a point for endorsing philosophy? Is that what that means or. Because that must be made.

[Mark]

I won't subtract a point. That would be doubly unfair. I'll just not give him a point. But I'm scratching it out. But, yeah, Good job, Wade. You defended Philosophy worth it.

[Host/Moderator]

Now do I get to do my thing?

[Mark]

No, that was your thing.

[Wade]

Giving up a boon is your whole turn. Since when? Get out. You're in jail. Didn't Bob get a turn after getting out?

[Mark]

Bob, did you get a turn after you got a.

[Bob]

No, I got out of jail. And that was it, wasn't it?

[Host/Moderator]

I'm pretty sure you, like, hooked me with the ch. You did something else that particular round.

[Mark]

No, no, that was way back when. You did the Batarang to get back up to him when he got out of jail. No. Yes.

[Host/Moderator]

Unfair.

[Mark]

All right. I don't think. I don't think I did. But if you did. All right, here we go.

[Bob]

I. I don't remember. I'm gonna be honest.

[Host/Moderator]

But the coins will tell us the truth.

[Bob]

Tails. Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Tails.

[Bob]

Wait. Heads. Heads. Oh, okay. It's the lady. It's the lady.

[Wade]

All right.

[Host/Moderator]

Wow.

[Mark]

I was about to say.

[Host/Moderator]

I was like, oh, no. That's triple bad for me. Okay, well, all right.

[Mark]

Okay. Wade, it didn't happen that way. You're remembering it wrong.

[Bob]

You're wrong. Probably.

[Host/Moderator]

Coins are fair and the coins have spoken. You want to take the point for baldest? I'll take the point.

[Bob]

Nah, nah, you're the host. Don't let me talk you into it.

[Host/Moderator]

I'm the baldest. You know what? You. I'm the baldest. We will do the tie spin.

[Wade]

That's unfair. Oh, I'm the baldest. If I win, I'm bald. No.

[Bob]

So wait, so if Mark wins, he's bald. If Mark loses, all heads, Mark is bald. All tails, Bob is bald. No. Well, it would be doubly unfair. Which would mean Wade would get two points.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I guess it's between me and him.

[Bob]

Wade has to do two one man shows.

[Host/Moderator]

I don't think that's how we're doing this.

[Wade]

Heads for Mark.

[Host/Moderator]

Anything else? Doesn't really matter. Fell on the floor.

[Mark]

Do I do that again?

[Bob]

Yeah, I would. Reflip. I would say that's a reflip for Mark. You've better flip carefully, though, because mine was tails.

[Mark]

It landed tails on the floor. I'm not lying about that.

[Bob]

That's what it. I mean, it's pretty immature. Again, you. It doesn't. I don't think it changes it either way, does it?

[Host/Moderator]

That would give me two points.

[Bob]

Is that enough to affect the outcome? Wade?

[Host/Moderator]

No.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

All right, well, you know what? At least I beat the listeners.

[Bob]

That's true. Listeners got a point just so they could come in fourth place out of Three.

[Mark]

I got way better at reading after I started doing YouTube. Trust me, way better at it. But, yeah, I just feel like people will feel robbed, and that's unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Bob]

So.

[Host/Moderator]

So the sentence was, someone will get better at reading.

[Mark]

Everyone gets worse at reading.

[Bob]

No, he said people. People will feel robbed, and that's unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

People will feel robbed, and that's unfair.

[Mark]

Okay, so if this goes well, we change the whole learning system for everybody. And we will. We will save everyone's reading ability. But if it's doubly unfair, no one can read.

[Wade]

We'll rob everyone's ability.

[Host/Moderator]

That's all right to you, Bob. Either we fix the learning, or else we ruin it for everyone.

[Bob]

That sounds like the level of influence I expect us to have.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, this is really gonna move us up those podcast charts.

[Bob]

Heads.

[Mark]

Pails.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Mark]

Oh, damn it.

[Host/Moderator]

Well, well, coins out of the way.

[Bob]

Well, everyone still can't read or whatever.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, I think I've got enough here. Maybe you want to give Bob a couple more.

[Bob]

I'm happy with mine.

[Sponsor Announcer]

I don't know.

[Mark]

I mean, yeah, he's good.

[Host/Moderator]

He's got four toes. And what if I. Right now, double or nothing.

[Wade]

Double enough. The amount of things that you have. Unfair.

[Mark]

All right, he's declaring unfair. He's unhappy with the amount of disadvantages he's gotten.

[Host/Moderator]

Either I'm going in with eight, or we're both going in with four. What happens if I win?

[Bob]

Mark will have to decide if it's unfair.

[Mark]

I'll give Bob the equivalent number that you have gotten. If it's fair.

[Bob]

Super fair.

[Mark]

Then you get double.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, that's fine. That's right.

[Mark]

Otherwise, nothing happens.

[Wade]

All right, here we go.

[Mark]

Oh, cocktails.

[Host/Moderator]

Ah, Heads.

[Mark]

It's already washed.

[Bob]

All right, well, mine was tails, but.

[Wade]

Well, sorry, Wade, this is.

[Mark]

This has been declared fair. You're wrong.

[Host/Moderator]

All right, you know the rules of the rules. I believe in the coin.

[Bob]

All right?

[Mark]

And that concludes one of the tightest games I've ever judged in my life.

[Host/Moderator]

Scottish was a little unfair, was it?

[Mark]

What's it about?

[Wade]

I don't know. I just said it. I said, oh, man.

[Host/Moderator]

The Scottish felt a little unfair.

[Mark]

Scottish is unfair. All right.

[Bob]

So that's what it is. Oh, God, Wade.

[Wade]

I'm sorry. I just said it. I wasn't thinking.

[Bob]

So if it's all heads, I get the Scottish accent point. If it's all tails, Wade gets another Scottish accent point. That's the deal.

[Host/Moderator]

Sure?

[Mark]

Yep. Absolutely. Fuck. Wait.

[Wade]

No.

[Mark]

He gets what he wanted if he said it was unfair. If it comes all heads. We have to reverse it to oppose the unfairness. If it goes all the other ways, then it becomes. No, no, you're right.

[Bob]

You're right.

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Okay. Everybody ready?

[Bob]

I mean, it's. It's probably not going to happen. So it's probably.

[Mark]

Boom.

[Bob]

Tails. Okay.

[Mark]

You're lucky. You're lucky, Wade. You're lucky.

[Host/Moderator]

I don't know if that would have helped me or screwed me in the end. I really don't.

[Mark]

You know why you're lucky? Because you were in the lead by the two.

[Wade]

You almost undid your own lead.

[Mark]

You're so lucky. That's two or three.

[Bob]

You're so lucky. Most angry.

[Host/Moderator]

Mark got the angriest at your questions. He liked your questions a lot. I was.

[Wade]

I did protest.

[Bob]

I did. I did.

[Mark]

I did.

[Host/Moderator]

I was.

[Mark]

There was a lot of unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

I stole. Fuck.

[Bob]

Oh. What? Why?

[Wade]

No, I want that one. No, I don't even know what that means.

[Host/Moderator]

It's been declared. Which means that if it's three heads, what the fuck happens here?

[Bob]

So define, define. What exactly is unfair? For starters, I think is a good starting point. Mark said that it's unfair. There was a lot of unfair. He was discussing the episode. He was just getting this point.

[Host/Moderator]

You got better questions than him.

[Bob]

Yeah. Either it has to be.

[Mark]

It has to be the context of what it was said. Right. It has to be this point.

[Wade]

Because that's what I said.

[Bob]

If it's nothing, then it was fair. If it's all heads, then it was unfair. And if it's all tails, then it will shall be made doubly fair. So either I get the point, Mark keeps the point, or markets double points.

[Mark]

I guess there's the same odds. I guess so. All right.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay. So hold on. All heads favors which one of you two? Because Mark declared it means.

[Mark]

I don't get this point.

[Wade]

It was all tails.

[Mark]

I can.

[Bob]

All heads confirms it was unfair. It makes no sense because Mark accidentally called it. But normally all heads is what you want have happen when you're the one who says the word.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay. All heads gives Bob a point. All tails markets two points.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Bob]

I have my legally required coin.

[Mark]

Yep, I got it. I got my coin. All right. Here we go.

[Bob]

Yeah. Tails.

[Mark]

Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Wade]

Close.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, that was. That was close.

[Mark]

All right.

[Bob]

So, okay. Mark keeps the point. Wow. That's what. You got to be careful when you're just saying stuff, man.

[Mark]

Man, I, I, Yeah. I, I didn't even think. God, it's been so long.

[Bob]

Said the most.

[Mark]

I said a lot I'm not going to lie. Big rotten dick.

[Bob]

Yeah, you. That. That adds a bunch of.

[Host/Moderator]

You know what? That's. That's unfair. Wait.

[Bob]

Oh, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, wait.

[Wade]

I just unfaired myself.

[Bob]

What is that? What have. What does that do? That can't.

[Host/Moderator]

I don't know the host ever. Unfair.

[Bob]

You can't do. I mean, you have to decide, I guess, because you're the host. But, like, what does that do?

[Wade]

I don't know.

[Host/Moderator]

No, it was. I didn't like that it was a tie. It was unfair that it tied up.

[Bob]

So Wade calls unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

But I didn't mean to. Unfair.

[Bob]

Tying. So if he gets all heads, we don't tie. But if we get all tails, we tie twice in a row for Wade, and he has to spin the winner's wheel twice.

[Mark]

You know what's fucked up about this is I have to go get a Try a coin of fairness from upstairs.

[Bob]

Oh, wait, you have, like, an actual coin of fairness?

[Mark]

I have an actual coin of fairness. I just gotta go get it.

[Host/Moderator]

That sucks. All right, Steven, I did not mean to actually say unfair.

[Bob]

It came out so awkwardly. I assumed you were throwing that out on purpose.

[Host/Moderator]

I think in my brain I was like, don't say unfair. And my mouth was like, unfair.

[Mark]

I'll let you guys pick the color. We got black, burgundy, silver and gold.

[Bob]

Oh, I like gold. Yeah.

[Mark]

All right.

[Bob]

Nice.

[Host/Moderator]

All right, heads. Heads. It's unfair. Tails. It's doubly fair. Middle. It's just still a tie.

[Mark]

I don't think I could do that, because the prototype.

[Host/Moderator]

It's the same on both sides.

[Bob]

That's the same.

[Host/Moderator]

You know, I hadn't looked too closely at these.

[Mark]

I hadn't thought about these.

[Host/Moderator]

Maybe it's time to revisit the drawing.

[Wade]

That's so funny.

[Mark]

All right, so there's a. This one has a rough side where you can see that it's. It's clearly like the base layer of the 3D print. And this side is much better finished.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, sure, sure.

[Mark]

Okay, so it's like that.

[Host/Moderator]

So smooth. Smooth as heads, rough as tails.

[Mark]

Smooth as head.

[Bob]

Rough.

[Mark]

Tails. Like. Like. Like, like, what's his face? Two face.

[Bob]

Come on. Old rough side. Tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Mark]

I don't know.

[Host/Moderator]

That's. Heads. I think that looks smooth.

[Bob]

It looks smooth to me.

[Host/Moderator]

So nothing happens. It's just a tie.

[Bob]

Mark.

[Host/Moderator]

Loser speech.

[Mark]

This was unfair.

[Wade]

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I allow it.

[Bob]

I mean, we're giving the speeches, but look, I guess, technically, if we're going to do this, what's unfair is Wade is winning. So if Mark wins, I buy it. Mark wins. But if. If it is deemed fair, Wade gets double win. I don't know what that means, but I'll take it.

[Host/Moderator]

So heads for Mark, tails for me.

[Bob]

Yeah. So if three heads, Mark actually wins this episode, the score doesn't change. Mark just wins this episode. If three tails, Wade double wins this episode, whatever the fuck that means, he.

[Mark]

Gets two wins for the season championship, which probably ended by now. I don't remember.

[Bob]

It's almost definitely, maybe over. Who cares? I mean, who knows? I do care. I want. I want the trophy. But anyway, flip them boys.

[Wade]

His heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Bob]

Tails. Oh, man, I. I wanted to cheat so bad.

[Wade]

I did, too, but the other way.

[Mark]

Oh.

[Host/Moderator]

I saw it land heads. And I was like, what do I do? This bad for me. All right, viewers, one point point me. One point. Mark, 12 points. Bob, 14 minus one for 13 points.

[Bob]

I win.

[Host/Moderator]

You invited me to golf with you, and that was really the two point swing.

[Bob]

All right. Friendship.

[Mark]

What about me?

[Bob]

I'm friend. I offered my friendship to both of you in this episode. You could always tempt the fates.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, you can see if Bob will uninvite you.

[Wade]

Is that what they do? Yeah, I think him being invited, I think. I declare.

[Mark]

Wait.

[Wade]

I declare if.

[Host/Moderator]

If it's.

[Wade]

If I win this, you get uninvited from golf. I don't think it's fair that you two get to have fun golfing and I don't. I declare that's unfair. Not about winning the episode. It's just about going for golf.

[Bob]

I think Wade gets to determine what it's about for sure. But.

[Host/Moderator]

So if Mark wins, I don't get to go for golf. If he wins, I have to go.

[Wade]

He gets to go twice to golf.

[Host/Moderator]

So either we're both going, which is what was invited, I go without Mark, or Mark goes twice without me.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Mark]

That sounds good.

[Bob]

Oh, I dropped my coin. Hang on.

[Host/Moderator]

Is yours heads, Mark?

[Mark]

Mine's heads.

[Bob]

Mine is tails. Mine is lion.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, thank God.

[Mark]

All right, fine.

[Host/Moderator]

Those heads. Heads is good for you. I don't remember which one's which.

[Mark]

Head. No.

[Bob]

Tails.

[Mark]

Wait, no. Yeah, heads is good for me. That's right.

[Host/Moderator]

Okay, these coins are so arbitrary, I forget what meaning they actually have.

[Bob]

These rules make so much sense, they just. They just play themselves out.

[Mark]

I'm gonna make an episode that's just coin flip the episod. It's the end zone.

[Bob]

God, I wish that was it. I like that. That's really good. That's the winning answer. Unless Wade, I'll give you a chance to re. Steal.

[Wade]

Hey, wait. What a minute. I'll call it. I'll call one end. One end is the unfair. There's no way. You can't. We've never gone back.

[Bob]

Wait, let him say it. Let him say it.

[Host/Moderator]

And then there's the end. There's the bottom that sits on the ground that you can't open because it's a tight end.

[Bob]

He didn't know it.

[Wade]

Unfair. I. I declared unfair.

[Bob]

You did say it. I just wanted to hear if that's not it. It's called the punt. The punt of the wine bottle. Anyway, Mark declared unfair because I circled back to Wade.

[Mark]

I. I say we erase everyone's memory from that. From the moment I said unfair because it can't happen.

[Host/Moderator]

Wait, weren't you going to get the point? Declare.

[Mark]

No one's getting the point.

[Host/Moderator]

But it was going to be you.

[Bob]

No, I was going to give you the point for. For endzone.

[Mark]

Oh, have you been giving points for.

[Bob]

I told you, if you come up with a funny answer that I like, I'll give you points for that too. Not on everyone, but.

[Mark]

Oh, well, I thought the only unfair is, like, it went back to him, which is never done this whole game.

[Bob]

All right, if it's all heads, I can't talk to Wade for the rest of the episode. If it's all tails, Wade gets a chance to steal whenever he wants for the rest of the episode.

[Mark]

All right, here we go.

[Bob]

Oh, no, I also got tails. Oh, boy.

[Host/Moderator]

All right, me too.

[Mark]

No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

[Bob]

So that was totally fair what I just did. It didn't matter because Mark got the point anyway.

[Host/Moderator]

Yeah, I love that you're like, mark, you're gonna get the point, even though you're wrong and you're, like, unfair.

[Wade]

It was because it was going back to you and nothing ever happened.

[Host/Moderator]

I didn't think it would count, but I had to get my tight end in there.

[Bob]

I honestly just wanted to know if Wade knew it, which he didn't.

[Wade]

You're not allowed.

[Mark]

Well, you are, because the coins say.

[Bob]

I feel like I am allowed.

[Mark]

Yeah, well, I tried to not make it aloud, and now my power is done. That is.

[Wade]

Incorrect.

[Mark]

Nimtopsicle was in the Drinker's diary, but Piflicated was not.

[Bob]

But Piflicated is so much more obvious what that is than nymph. Toxical.

[Mark]

I have no idea. Pifflicated. What is that? A separate word that means something.

[Wade]

I think this question's unfair.

[Host/Moderator]

What that's right.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Bob]

Are you claiming unfairness on my behalf?

[Host/Moderator]

Yes.

[Mark]

I guess we don't have a rule that says can't happen, but does that mean that the punishment.

[Bob]

So what are the results of this then?

[Mark]

Yeah, wait.

[Host/Moderator]

Three somethings, you get two points. I don't know. Three something's Mark gets it and if.

[Wade]

It'S three, the other, he loses two points.

[Mark]

That's an interesting way to play the.

[Wade]

Unfair rule to potentially screw over your opponent.

[Bob]

Oh my God. What in the hell did we. We just.

[Mark]

I don't know, man. Okay. All right.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Mark]

So head. If it's three heads, Bob will get the points.

[Host/Moderator]

It was worth two. Does that mean it's worth four?

[Bob]

If it's three heads, it will be made doubly fair, which should mean that I get four points. If it's three tails, if it will be made doubly unfair, which means I should lose four points.

[Mark]

Yeah, but what does neutral mean?

[Bob]

Wait, ok, so if it's fairness is like nothing happens, right?

[Mark]

It's. It's to say if something is fair. And in this case, what would be fair? It was him getting the wrong answer. That is fair. Therefore, if it goes too unfair by being all heads, it will reverse that decision and make it fair from its unfair state. Therefore, flipping it there, he won't get double, he will get two points. But if it goes extra unfair, he will be punished for it. And he will not only not have points, but he'll lose it two points. Okay, so if it's all heads, he gets two points. If it's anything but all heads or all tails, it's fair. Declared fair. Okay. I think. Right.

[Bob]

I just also want to put this out there. My coin. The tails is the lion and the heads is this one of a lady standing there not looking. So we're doing. We're flipping the way Mark flipped, flip, catch, and then show.

[Mark]

Yeah. No flipping it over on your wrist. Just show it right then there. All right, here we go.

[Bob]

I got heads.

[Mark]

I got heads.

[Host/Moderator]

Heads.

[Wade]

Yes. Unfairness has been confirmed. Bob, you get two points.

[Host/Moderator]

That's right.

[Wade]

I did it.

[Host/Moderator]

I did exactly what I set out to do, Bob. I've got your back.

[Wade]

You should have phoned me.

[Host/Moderator]

You should have phoned me. I've had your best interest in mind all episode.

[Mark]

That's a ride or die right there, Bob. You know that's worth more than its weight in gold. Do you get two points? I guess.

[Host/Moderator]

All right. I want you to know I started to flip it on the back of my hand. I Remember you said note.

[Bob]

I was like, oh, Wade, you couldn't have done a better job because you are. 045. That is a real opera.

[Host/Moderator]

0 for 5 is unfair.

[Wade]

Oh, I don't have my coin with me.

[Host/Moderator]

You better find a coin, Mark.

[Bob]

Got any lens caps?

[Mark]

All right, I got a phone, I guess, but I don't want to flip.

[Bob]

Don't drop it. All right.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Oh, hold on.

[Host/Moderator]

What side of the phone is heads?

[Mark]

I'm assuming the face is the heads.

[Bob]

Mine is the lady in the dress is heads and the creature on the backside is tails.

[Mark]

So, wait, what are the stakes of this unfair?

[Wade]

No idea.

[Bob]

No, we don't. That's not what we're doing right now. We don't have to commits anything until we know what the outcome is. Wade called unfair on him being 0 for 5 in that game. We'll see what the coins say. Oh, I got tails.

[Host/Moderator]

Tails.

[Wade]

I've totally flubbed it.

[Mark]

I have to flip again.

[Host/Moderator]

Oh, don't get tails.

[Wade]

Don't get tails. Oh. Oh, God.

[Mark]

It's on the floor right now. Dramatic reveal.

[Wade]

It's tails. Oh, no. Does that make me over 10?

[Bob]

Wade loses his unfair challenge. When what you challenged was that you went 0 for 5 in that game, that was unfair. So to be made, the coins have deemed that it is in fact fair. And for that to be made doubly fair, I guess means that you went 0 for 10 and Mark went 10 for 10 in the previous game. Now, according to metaphysics, look, I only.

[Mark]

Got one wrong, so I'll take eight instead of.

[Bob]

Oh, that's true. Okay, okay. So Mark went 4. 4 for 5. So Mark went 8 for 10 head.

[Host/Moderator]

I hope I was really funny today.

[Mark]

I don't think all the wheel spins in the world are going to bring.

[Wade]

You back from that one.

[Host/Moderator]

Can we roll a D30?

[Bob]

The coins have spoken. And that is now even more fair than it already was. Yeah, I will say, Wade, I respect it because I. I think you were. You were in a tough spot there. Even. Even with bonus. Bonus points and stuff.

[Host/Moderator]

I had to try. That was our first three tales, wasn't it? Have we ever had three heads actually succeed?

[Mark]

I don't think yet, no.

[Host/Moderator]

Great. I'm glad the first one was a failure for me.

[Mark]

On such a streak. On such a streak.

[Bob]

I love that for you. You just really. I knew you'd be good at the opera stuff, Wade.

[Host/Moderator]

Thank you.

[Wade]

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