Everybody Hates Dor

Summary

Distractible Podcast — “Everybody Hates Dor”
Released: January 26, 2026 | Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

This episode sees the Distractible trio—Mark, Wade, and Bob—get back to their classic formula of laid-back banter and storytelling after a busier period. The central thread is an extended, hilarious riff about the hypothetical naming of a child “Dor” (short for Dorothy), resulting in a running gag that dovetails into stories about family, creative works, projects, and plenty of playful mockery. Along the way, listeners get behind-the-scenes details on Mark’s “Iron Lung” film, personal life updates from Wade and Bob, and classic off-the-rails discussions about everything from film logistics to wild news stories and the oddest items found in butts.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Small Talk, Beatles and The Naming of “Dor”

• The trio opens with trademark confusion over their identities, Beatles comparisons, and lengthy name jokes.
• Wade jokes about naming a daughter Dorothy and shortening it to “Dor” (06:46), setting up a recurring inside joke about “Door” being his neglected, hypothetical child.
  • “Why did you call me Dor?” (06:56) — Wade
  • “Just talk to your brother, Jam. You guys are a pair.” (06:57) — Bob
• The banter continues with references to multilingual long names, Beatles, and, humorously, to Wade’s “full legal name”: “George Paul McCartney Harrison Ford.”

2. Life Updates and New Year’s Resolutions

• Bob shares his commitment to walk a marathon and a mile per day in 2026, with his partner Mandy far ahead in their challenge (09:12).
  • “I fucking better have walked a full marathon so far this year…” (09:12) — Bob
• Bob gives a proud update on his son James’ near-potty-training and jokes about “Door” being the less favored, semi-invisible sibling (10:16).

3. Wade’s Reading Staycation & Book Talk

• Wade recounts his rare break from work where he read three books, including two John Grisham novels and Andy Weir’s “Project Hail Mary” (10:52).
  • He praises Ryan Gosling’s casting in the movie adaptation and discusses changes in technology referenced in older novels.
  • “Reading the book, I 100% agree with the casting of Ryan Gosling…” (11:16) — Wade

4. Mark’s “Iron Lung” Film: Behind the Scenes and Stress Relief

• Mark details finishing “Iron Lung,” the accompanying soundtrack’s release, and the immense logistical and technical challenges involved in final edits, sound mixing, VFX, and movie distribution (13:09 to 19:46).
  • “You pull out that piece and all of a sudden he’s in a different spot and—oh god.” (15:25) — Mark
• He extols DaVinci Resolve as a filmmaking tool, and discusses the process of DCP (Digital Cinema Package) delivery to theaters (15:52 and 18:49).
• The emotional release after the project’s completion: “I cried like you wouldn’t believe, just the stress leaving my body.” (25:42) — Mark

5. Popcorn Buckets, Movie Merch, and the Power of Fandom

• Mark shares the popcorn bucket saga—delays in official production led him to offer free 3D print files, pitching it as a fan engagement opportunity (21:12).
  • “If they bring a printed bucket to a theater… they get free popcorn.” (21:15) — Mark
• The conversation highlights their relationship to their audience, like the r/Markiplier subreddit’s uniquely supportive-yet-savage energy:
  • “I have never seen a subreddit quite like r/Markiplier … genuinely trying to be as nice as they possibly can be and are just chucking spears right at your heart with every sentence they type.” (24:41) — Bob

6. Creativity, YouTubers as Filmmakers, and Future Prospects

• Wade praises Mark’s innovative, driven approach to creativity compared to would-be creators who lack that energy. Mark is optimistic but realistic about the potential for both good and “subpar” creator-driven films (26:43–27:54).
  • “There’s going to be some subpar stuff… not everybody has the drive and the passion that you do…” (27:25) — Wade

7. Tech and Cinema: Film vs Digital, IMAX and Movie Nostalgia

• Deep-dive into the evolution of film technology and movie theater experiences—digital vs film reels, IMAX and Omnimax, nostalgia for old theaters.
• Mark describes his lack of nostalgia for traditional film: “I cannot imagine operating under the limitations of film...” (19:26)

8. Gaming News and Nostalgic Recommendations

• The guys recommend and discuss games like “Hytale” (Bob’s new favorite, reminiscent of Minecraft), “Alchemy Factory,” and “Star Rupture.”
• Wade describes a bizarre Pokémon ROM hack where everything is gambling-related, and Bob reminisces about factory builders like “Satisfactory,” noting his chaotic but enjoyable playstyle (32:41–37:36).

9. Absurd Stories: The World’s Strangest ER Cases

• Mark lists the “25 worst items found in butts” in a segment that is peak Distractible, ranging from rocks to full shampoo bottles, lightbulbs, pasta, and even a baseball—accompanied by imaginative explanations for how and why:
  • “The explanation for that was to see what it felt like.” (43:04)
  • “Out at home!” (43:04) — Bob, delighting in the baseball pun
• This segment ends with general disgust and laughter, typifying their blend of juvenile humor and genuine camaraderie (40:21–43:44).

10. News: Animals on the Loose—Or Are They?

• Bob shares a recent news story: escaped goats and monkeys in St. Louis become the subject of viral, AI-generated hoaxes online, “committing crimes and vandalizing things and jumping on people’s trampolines…” (44:05)
• Bob also highlights the unfortunate spokesperson name: Willie Springer.

11. Meta-Awards, Points, and the “Wheel” Game

• The episode wraps with the hosts awarding one another points for memorable moments, word use (“decanter” and “vicissitude” get special mentions), and spinning their decision wheel to determine the winner—classic Distractible.
  • “Am I the loser also? Yes. Are these the facts, and is this what happened? That’s for the judge to decide.” (50:45) — Mark
• Bob wins and delivers a tongue-in-cheek winner’s speech, noting how each episode “feels new and awkward,” even after nearly 400.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Reading the book, I 100% agree with the casting of Ryan Gosling…” (11:16) — Wade
• “You pull out that piece and all of a sudden he’s in a different spot and—oh god.” (15:25) — Mark, on film editing
• “I cried like you wouldn’t believe, just the stress leaving my body.” (25:42) — Mark
• “There’s going to be some subpar stuff… not everybody has the drive and passion that you do…” (27:25) — Wade
• “Genuinely trying to be as nice as they possibly can be and are just chucking spears right at your heart…” (24:41) — Bob, about r/Markiplier
• “The explanation for [the baseball in the butt] was to see what it felt like.” (43:04) — Mark
• “His glove has fallen off... he squats down, catches it in his ass as he makes the tag…” (43:16) — Bob, imaginatively explaining the ‘baseball’ story

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Banter & “Dor” Joke: 01:25 – 07:40
• Life & Book Updates: 09:12 – 12:48
• Mark’s Movie Production Stories: 13:09 – 19:46
• Popcorn Bucket & Merch: 21:12 – 22:05
• YouTubers as Filmmakers: 23:53 – 27:54
• Gaming Talk (“Hytale”, Factory Builders): 32:41 – 37:41
• 25 Worst Items Pulled from Butts: 37:46 – 43:12
• Animals on the Loose & AI News: 44:05 – 45:30
• Point Tallying & The Wheel: 46:45 – 50:37

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Tone & Highlights

• Comradely & Satirical: From Beatles references to running “Door” jokes, the trio’s ribbing is playful and revealing of their long friendship.
• Honest & Relatable: Mark’s candid description of post-project stress relief is particularly open.
• Absurd & Juvenile: Classic Distractible energy finds its home in stories about ER oddities and creative uses for everyday objects.
• Audience-Aware: They frequently poke fun at themselves and their fan community, keeping meta-commentary part of the fun.

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In summary:
This episode is classic Distractible—a winding journey that’s as much about the personalities in the (virtual) room as it is about the topics. Listeners get both the highs (pride, accomplishment) and lows (cringeworthy tales, exhaustion) of creative work, interlaced with deeply unserious riffing, creative in-jokes (“Dor”), and the classic gameified format of points and the wheel. If you missed it, expect laughter, behind-the-scenes details, and at least half a dozen moments where you have to pause just to catch your breath.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, warbling George Wade takes a break, devours Grisham drops mask and talks hacks. Bingo. Ringo Bob rations epithets, micro marathons and potty trains. His preferred progeny licks catbutts and Chase's tail. Meticulous John Mark releases his legendary film.

[A]

Beats, has imposter syndrome, learns logistics Jenga and rejects reels from multiple marks to ass extractions.

[B]

Yes, it's time for Everybody hates Door. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[A]

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Distractable. If this is your first time joining us, then truly welcome. If you've come back, I only ask, why. Join as always by my co hosts, Mark and Bob. Hey, guys. Hello.

[B]

I'm Mark. Just want to be clear about that. I know we look the same. Same height and all. I'm Mark. That's Bob.

[C]

No, I'm Mark. The. That's Bob.

[B]

Ah, it's gonna confuse everybody. We sound the same. We sound so much alike. Yeah, yeah, I know, right?

[A]

I don't know which is which. I'm Wade. Wade Bald. Easy to remember if you're just listening. You can probably hear the bald.

[C]

You can actually.

[B]

The subtle reverberation back in the room, off your head, back and off.

[C]

It has to do with the way your head resonates when you speak. You're like a. You're like a nicely leather finished resonance box with the hair on our heads just temps down our. Our, you know, overtones and just dulls our voices.

[A]

Really, really ruining the res.

[B]

You know, Krillin from Dragon Ball said that it helped unfetter his chi.

[A]

And then he grew hair later on.

[B]

Yeah, well, he was just shaving himself bald. He wasn't actually bald.

[C]

He was a wannabe.

[A]

Not all of us can be purebred. We have not been in a call. We did the one man show where we kind of jumped right into it. We've not done like a normal episode where we've gotten to talk and just like catch up. Small talk. Like, I have no idea what you guys have been doing. I feel like Mark's probably been doing nothing for the last month. Bob, you and I have been probably pretty busy. Final Stretch.

[B]

Final Stretch.

[A]

Stretching's good for you.

[C]

Yeah. Final Stretch. This is the one. This is the one.

[A]

Final Stretch. It's like, Final Stretch was in alpha, and then it was in beta. Now Final stretch is approaching 1.0. It was just early access. Final stretch.

[B]

Well, what's fun about today when this episode comes out? I believe this is for Monday yesterday.

[C]

Yeah, this is the Monday before today.

[B]

Actually is the day the soundtrack releases.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

So right now, people can go listen to the soundtrack for Iron Lung if they want to get a little taste.

[C]

On, like, streamers and stuff. Like. Like. Like on Spotify.

[B]

Yeah. So just. Just in case people want to listen after.

[C]

After the podcast, afterwards, same time, get as many devices as you can and have one more playing the podcast than you have playing the soundtrack.

[A]

But there's actually a rumor that if you play the soundtrack while you play this episode, like Dark side of the Moon in Wizard of Oz, at 28.

[C]

Minutes in, the devil actually says in backwards language, mark is dead. Because you're our John lennon, obviously. Wade's McCartney, and I'm Ringo. Everybody knows.

[A]

Oh, you could be the drummer. All right, I'll take it.

[C]

Yes. Ringo is the much more popular Beetle. I win.

[A]

Well, I know he's not, but, like, he should be. He was fairly talented. Underrated.

[B]

Does that make Amy Yoko? Oh, no. Because I feel like you should feel bad about that.

[C]

I don't follow the whole interpersonal drama so much. Yoko was actually pretty talented. The stuff that she did around the time when people really noticed her, when she was getting more famous. It's not my favorite, but she also made, like, other really, like, good music and, like.

[B]

Oh, really? I don't know a thing about it.

[C]

It's not the. The. The clips that people pick out of her doing, like, weirder stuff. That's all more out there stuff, but she made some really. She's actually really talented. Underrated. She gets a bad rap.

[A]

Who's George?

[C]

I think that's the name of the guitar that plays itself in the background.

[A]

Wade, you're George, but I'm Paul.

[C]

No, but your actual name is George. George. Paul McCartney. Harrison Ford.

[A]

George. Paul McCartney. Harrison ford. How dare you put my full legal name out there?

[B]

You know what people are going to do with that information?

[C]

Your Social Security card is a nightmare.

[B]

Tell you what, actually, we had that situation with Lixian because Portuguese infamously have very long Names. I don't know if infamously, but they have multiple middle names.

[C]

Basically regular, famously.

[B]

So. His name was so long. When we get to the security, Warner Brothers, they were like, I can't find you. You're not here. Well, he's got to be on the list. Let me call someone. I circled around, pulled off to the side, slowly crept back up, being like, heaven, please. He's like, I should be on there. He gets there. Yeah, yeah. Are you going? Okay, yeah. We have someone by the name of Luis Cost, but not Acosta.

[C]

That's. That's it. Not Luis Costa.

[B]

Not to say his full name out there and release that information to the public.

[A]

Luis Costa. Paul McCartney, John Harrison.

[B]

Yeah, it was like he read out the full name. Like, Luis, middle name, middle name Cost.

[A]

And your Luis, middle name, middle name Costa. And didn't Picasso have, like, a ridiculously long name, too?

[C]

Pablo. Ah, my ear. Picasso. Yeah, but in Spanish, maybe.

[B]

It's like, you know, Spain, Portugal, they're right next to each other, so they must maybe have similar customs names.

[A]

Pablo Diego Jose Francisco De Paulo, Juan Nepomucheno, Maria de los Remedios, Cipriano de la Santissima, Trinidad Ruizi. Picasso.

[B]

Gee, leave some for the rest of us.

[A]

What the fuck?

[C]

Damn, that could be like, eight people.

[B]

Yeah. When do we start rationing names? Was that in the 90s? Overpopulated.

[A]

Please, sir, can I have some middle initial?

[C]

Want to name my daughter Dorothy? We don't even want to have a last name. I can give you Door. Dad, just because there's a story doesn't mean I like my name. Why did you call me Door?

[B]

Got to give you door and a hyphen.

[C]

Just talk to your brother, Jam. You guys are a pair. I know. Mandy and I are not going to name our daughter Dorothy. Don't worry, Chad. Also, we don't have a daughter that's a hypothetical daughter.

[A]

Do you have a secret daughter that we've never known about? No.

[B]

Man, that would really prove some favoritism going on. If you keep going on about your son, all these stories about your son, it's like, oh, yeah, also, there's a daughter somewhere.

[A]

James is so great. James. James, James. Guys, we can count on the number of times we've heard James. What about Door?

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Maybe we'll go back and be like, oh, my God, he's been saying door all along. And we thought he's really into hardware. Oh, my God.

[C]

Door wouldn't shut up last night. Like, man, this dude's doors talk a lot. What the hell?

[A]

At 26 minutes, when we play James backwards, it's actually Doors, the favorite.

[C]

Well, that's going to start some funny rumors. What were we talking about? Oh, long names. That's right.

[A]

I think this is the small talk portion. Mark was talking about his final stretch, and we've gotten to Dorothy somehow from there.

[B]

I mean, I kind of jumped in. I don't know if we got through the intro.

[A]

I actually don't remember the last time we'd gotten together before One Man Show. It was. Was it even this year?

[C]

Yeah, we got. We got together, like, the fifth or something. I don't know, like a couple weeks ago.

[B]

But hey, it's all done now, officially. I mean, in a week, the movie's going to be out. People will realize that I'm a giant fraud, and they will. They'll laugh when.

[A]

Fraud. I think it's a frog. What a weird thing to think. Don't spoil the movie, man.

[B]

Come on, man. Not again.

[A]

Do you feel like Bob and I were talking about this a little bit while you were gone? Do you feel like the pressure's off, or do you think it'll wait till the movie's actually out for people to see before the pressure will feel like it's off?

[B]

Oh, pressure's done. Pressure's way off now.

[A]

All right, Bob wins.

[C]

I'm better friends with Mark. I know how he feels.

[B]

Yeah, well, all my pressure was on until I liked it. Right. Because that's always. Always is for me in projects is like, I get really stressed when. If it's not where I think it should be. And that's what gets me iffy about it.

[A]

But it was.

[B]

It's already been where I wanted to be. This was just Polish and finding all the missing pieces that fall through the cracks, of which there are a lot. There's a lot of those things. I could talk about them if you want to know more.

[A]

Floor is open. We've not been together in a while, so. Whatever, man.

[C]

I do have small talk, but it's not that interesting.

[B]

Why don't you go first?

[C]

Well, as of the airing of this episode, I fucking better have walked a full marathon so far this year. As of. As of right now, I am averaging more than one mile per day in 2026. I have had one day where I was really busy, and I ended up just not doing one, but I've had multiple days where I've just walked a couple, so I'm. I'm ahead of the game. But, yeah, I'm actually both Mandy and I Mandy's way more ahead than I am. Mandy has, like, seven or eight extra miles at this point. Like, she's been doing a couple of miles a lot of the days. I'm sticking to the 365 miles in 2026. It feels good. I feel like I'm getting to the point I'm almost on the other side of the. It sucks. Everything hurts. I hate this. And getting to the. Like, I'm starting to feel better. Every time I go walk now, it's like, ah, nice.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That's awesome.

[B]

That's great, man.

[C]

That's kind of my only big update. Oh, James is. Well, it's not fair to say this. James is almost potty trained. James is wearing big boy underpants, so that's pretty big.

[B]

That's huge.

[C]

And he went a whole day yesterday with no accidents or anything. He's in the potty like a real dude. He pisses everywhere about door. Door sucks. I don't want to talk about that.

[B]

Don't you ever mention door again. Every time in the background that you like, your door is opened, you know where it's mysteriously opened. We all thought it was just the wind. Little did we know.

[C]

My secret is out, I guess.

[A]

Before Mark goes, do I have anything interesting?

[C]

No. Mark, talk about the movie.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

No, wait.

[C]

I'll. I'll.

[B]

You may proceed.

[A]

Molly just had her birthday. We ran around. I've been reading. So I took. I took four days off. I've not taken, like, actual time off where I haven't, like, at least recorded YouTube videos. I took an actual four days off, and I read three books. It was, like, 1470 pages of books. I read two John Grisham novels, and I read Project Hail Mary, which is now becoming a project Hail Mary.

[B]

I've heard of that one. Yeah.

[C]

Andy Weir, the writer of the Martian.

[A]

I've not read that one. That one's on my list to read soon. Reading the book, I 100% agree with the casting of Ryan Gosling as, like, the lead actor. Like, I felt him in that role as I was reading the books. I think that was a perfect casting for the movie. So I'm hoping the movie's really good.

[C]

I hope the movie's good.

[A]

Yeah. But really enjoyed those books. I just started Runaway Jury. I finished the Firm and Pelican Brief.

[C]

Oh, sure. Classics.

[A]

I just figured I'd go back and read from the start. I didn't read A Time to Kill because I've read that one a bunch, so kind of. That one's still in my memory.

[C]

But you should read Airframe.

[A]

I don't have that one. I've got. I want to get the Exchange, which is like a Mitch McDary sequel to the Firm. And then I. I just got two more I can't remember the names of. They were two more. They were more recent. The ones I read before came out like the early 90s. So like, it was like, this guy is advanced. He has a car phone.

[C]

And then he received a very threatening page.

[A]

Oh, the mail. It's like the way they were tracking things, it's like, how could they ever get a hold of him without a tracker? It's not like he has any kind of technology on him. And it's like, man, this is going to change in 20 years. Also, some of these books go into like, traveling through air and stuff. And it's pre 9 11, so it's interesting here in like the airport experience and like pre 911 written books because it's just a very different feeling and world. But they were really good. I read a lot. Enjoyed that. Enjoyed my time off. Caught up on. I forget what shows I've been watching. Fallout finished Stranger Things. I've not watched the critical role. New one, Mighty Nein. I've not watched that yet. It's on my list. Watched all of. Welcome to Dairy. I don't know. Just enjoyed some time off. And we went to Sodo last night, which is my favorite, if not my favorite restaurant. Have you been there? I didn't think you'd been there yet.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we went like when Amy and I got married, we went there.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Was it before we did that? I don't think we went during our wedding trip. Maybe we did. It was very good. It really was. And reasonably priced.

[A]

It is. I got some extra capalachi and I had that for lunch today, actually. It was really good. So. No, other than being cold, that being the one downside, it's been a pretty great start to the year.

[B]

So now my turn. Everybody shut up. It's time for me to talk about the one thing that I'll never be. I'll never be able to talk about it after this.

[A]

I can't wait for that.

[C]

When's the behind the scenes doc coming out? Because I'm here for that too.

[B]

Well, man, we should have been filming so much more of it after. During the editing phase. We really should have. But we didn't. However, it's finally coming out on Friday. Not a joke. Yippee.

[A]

They're going to do reshoots to get behind the scenes footage.

[B]

We're going to reenact them. Yeah, could do that. Could be fun. Could be fun.

[C]

You could cast someone taller to play you in the, in the reenactments.

[A]

Or shorter so you can feel better.

[B]

There's a lot of steps to movies that, you know, people aren't aware of, right?

[A]

Film sell. That it.

[B]

Write. Film sell. That's probably what most people think there is.

[C]

Click. Upload to YouTube. Boom. It's a movie.

[B]

Dick upload to YouTube.

[A]

Click. But Dick upload.

[C]

Dick uploads a whole different thing. No, click upload.

[A]

In order to promote your movie, you gotta have a sex scandal.

[C]

Shane, it's not that easy.

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, it's just a lot of logistics. And so it's the same with like, you know, doing the distribution. It's. It's totally possible to do it independently. It's just like, it's. It's just a lot of work. And the less people you have, the more work there is to do on an individual level. And no, it's not as easy as just hiring other people for it because imagine there's a good allegory with the editing portion of it when we're, you know, a few years into a project and I was to bring on someone completely new who had no idea what the hell was going on or what we've already done in the past or where we've ever been. And that's just like in small scale with the distribution. So when we get to this point where I have Lixian and Sam were both in to help out with this last part, which was, you know, the absolute finalization of the sound mix because number one, we, we were doing an Atmos mix, or we had, theoretically we're like doing an Atmos mix, but now really had to get the Atmos mix dialed in because originally with the independent theaters, not a lot of them have like Atmos rooms, things like that. And so now it's going a big one. You got to really refine it. So we were doing that while finalizing all that stuff and then catching up on all the last little VFX bits that happen. And the problem is, like, if you may, and this is probably not for every movie, but because this one is so interconnected with like, the location of where you are and the numbers that show up on the console. And unless you just want all that to be nonsense, and I don't, anytime you make like a little tweak, like, I'm going to steal this shot and move it there and There. And bah. It's like Jenga Tower, right? You pull out that piece and all of a sudden he's in a different spot and. Oh, God. And so I have to. We have to go back. And once we're finalized, we had to go in and manually, like, make sure all the numbers were correct.

[C]

Oh, geez.

[A]

You had like five lines on Premiere Pro, right? Batman lines.

[C]

What'd you have, like, 80 cuts? 85.

[B]

It's where I again, sing the praises of DaVinci Resolve. And yes, it sounds like I'm a show, but I think everybody should go to DaVinci. Because being able to just go from there to one page infusion and do the special effects, from the rotoscoping to the tracking, to the putting it in there to the compositing, to all of that in one page, it was immense. But we had to get like 80 of them done. And so it was just me, Lixie and Sam. While I'm like, looking up at the sound and being like, yeah, it's good, Brad. I got my AirPods with, like, noise cancellation, and he's asking me questions like, is that good? I'm like, all right. And I mean, he's. He's been working on it for two years, so he's mostly just putting things where they need to be, you know, getting all the effects right, making sure everything's balanced, making sure things are working. In the surrounds, there's a lot of, like, little tiny things to do because there's. He has thousands of tracks. That guy has over a thousand tracks all. Almost all of them filled with sounds. At some point, to be able to move all of them. That's why anytime you make a little tweak, everything comes tumbling down. You got to put it all back together.

[C]

Jesus.

[B]

I. I do think that there are some more efficiencies to be had in the future. Again, DaVinci has an audio section as well, where it's called Fairlight. But in the industry, Fairlight is not really smiled upon. It's more kind of made fun of. And I think that's unfair. Even though I've never used it. And every time I've used it, it's crashed the entire software immediately.

[C]

It sounds fine.

[B]

It sounds. Then again, he was going through crashes, like, non stop it. I saw, like every once in a while, the whole. His whole system would just go bonk. All the lights would go down. He's like, motherfucker.

[C]

Jesus. On a full professional setup in a room, I would assume that's one of the things you eliminate when you get. You know, I can't even imagine how expensive of a room and equipment all set up for that exact purpose.

[B]

It does sound like a nightmare. But these things, I guess everything just crashes at some point. Even my software crashes.

[C]

If I'm editing on my MacBook and the little rainbow wheel pops up for like 20 seconds, I'm like, I'm never making anything again. Fuck that.

[B]

No, man, I've gone through the funniest crashes. Sometimes that just turn your entire screen inverted colors for some reason. Like something went horrible with the graphics cards and it.

[C]

Ha ha, funny.

[B]

And then I've had crashes that are just like, hey, you're using 200% of your system's memory. And I'm like, how?

[A]

How the fuck are you doing that? Overclocking, man.

[B]

Memory's expensive these days. How are you doing?

[A]

I do have a question before I forget. I assume films aren't still put on film reels and then sent on giant circles to thousands of theaters. So what does the process of actually getting the movie to the theaters look like?

[B]

You send a file, right? It's called dcp, and you package up your entire movie in that with all the audio formats. You have one default, and then you have the other ones. And then it sends it up to some big server and they pull the movie out and it's tied specifically to those theaters and those projectors so that, you know, they can all have a secure version of the movie to play. And then. Ba, ba, ba.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And they play it out. Yeah.

[A]

Do you get to have at least one giant actual film reel?

[B]

No, because you'd have to put it on film. And it's a digitally shot movie. You could do that if you really wanted to, I suppose.

[A]

Your first movie, you should do it just hanging on your wall. That way you have something else to do now that you're bored.

[B]

I don't want to have film. I am not a. I've never shot film, so I have no nostalgia for it. I cannot imagine operating under the limitations of film. Be the most frustrating thing possible. Like, every time you wanted to butter your bread, you had to churn it with a wooden thingamabob before you were able to enjoy your bread.

[A]

Like, when did they switch away from film?

[B]

I mean, they're still doing it. Like, you talk about the giant reels.

[C]

Is IMAX digital or is IMAX still film?

[B]

IMAX is film.

[C]

Yeah. They can.

[B]

They have not yet made a sensor as big as an IMAX film thing cell or whatever frame, but they're getting close. They are getting close. And honestly, like, there is something to be said about that big image. And it's like, it's very cool and all the detail. You'd have to get something equivalent to like 24k resolution to get close to the amount of detail it can put out. It is impressive. But the cumbersome nature of it, like, is, it's like, you know, you don't need to do that for most 99% of stories out there. And I think that anyone that's like, you absolutely have to work with film if you want to call yourself a filmmaker that's just like, I don't know about that. Can you imagine if I had to cut.

[A]

They do IMAX and Omnimax. Iron Lung and Omnimax.

[C]

Omnimax.

[B]

Which one's the Omnimax?

[A]

I think. Isn't that like the big theater?

[C]

Big like dome screen theater where, like, it.

[B]

It's the one in the Cincinnati Museum.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Like, come on an adventure with us. And it's just blood and whatever is on the planet.

[B]

Whatever's on the planet. It's a moon. It's a moon. Thank you.

[A]

Hey, you know your stuff, You've been working on this a while, haven't you?

[B]

Yeah, a little bit. Anyway, that's it. We did a lot of the.

[C]

Oh, wait, have you seen, have you held a real popcorn bucket?

[B]

No, I haven't.

[C]

They must be in production by now, right? They must be like.

[B]

Actually, I had a conversation with them because they were behind because they got to it late. So they were like, we're not gonna have enough to do right there, so we'll do pre orders. And I was like, oh, well, that's not good because then people won't have it. So I said, what if we release the 3D print file and everyone can print their own buckets and if they wanted to paint it, they could. It's up to them. But they bring a printed bucket to a theater. Regal's the one who is partnering with this. They get free popcorn, free small popcorn. But they get, you know, they could get free small popcorn and then like the actual model of the popcorn bucket would be out for everyone available there. And then you, you. They would still be able to sell like the fully painted, hand made or not handmade, but you know, hand painted official ones. But then everyone could have their own if they really wanted to.

[C]

That would be pretty sick.

[B]

And I'm able to do that because Molly made the model for the bucket.

[A]

Bless my wife who didn't do that artist, Molly.

[B]

Molly Brown, you claim.

[A]

And yet every time you mean to text her, Molly gets a coupon for a free ride somewhere, but gets a coupon. She never knows where she's going, but that. That drive's always coming to pick her up.

[B]

So anyway, yeah, that's it. So this will be the end of movie talk for quite some time.

[A]

Well, that can't be true. We're going to have to talk about it after it comes out when we see it. We saw it, but we saw a two year ago edition, year and a half ago, whatever it was, Edition.

[C]

So it's probably pretty similar.

[B]

I mean it's in an ocean of blood still.

[A]

It's just going to be like Comic Sans font now is the big change.

[B]

I did that for a second on some temporary stuff and people, I got an email from someone that was like, I don't mean to be out of place here, Mark, but maybe a different font choice would be for the best.

[A]

That's really funny. I don't know what else to talk about. I feel like we've kind of been along on this journey for so long. Like what's next? What will, what will Mark do? What's the next movie? Is it already work being worked on?

[B]

No, not really. I. I don't have anything.

[A]

Steel kidney.

[B]

Steel Kidney. Good idea. Go 5050 on it.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It's already more than zero, so yes.

[B]

Okay. All right then. Now. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stick to YouTube for a bit and just relax.

[A]

I do that all my life. I really am. Like, it's wild that I still go to the Milford cinema quite often because just nostalgia, it's the place we went growing up. To think that, I don't know, it's weird. Of all the places your face is going to be soon to be in a theater where it's like, oh, we're gonna go watch the movie stars and these great movies and crazy things. It's like you've made something that's going to be played on one of those screens. It's a wild thought.

[B]

I mean it's more than I thought it would ever be. So this has already been the shock of that thankfully has kind of passed a little and now I just get to get to enjoy it. I love the fans because they're so funny sometimes because there's a lot of them. I see poster as well. Like now, now guys, everyone please don't get your hopes up. He's a first time filmmaker, you know, not everyone's first opportunity is going to Be that great. You know, he's a real mid actor. We just got to support him.

[A]

We just got think 1970s incredible Hulk, not 2020 endgame. You know, we got some claymation Godzilla coming in.

[B]

They know how to conserve their faith.

[A]

Movie stars. It's just Mark holding like a toy sub ring.

[C]

It doesn't. I mean, it does. That does happen on the distractible subreddit sometimes, but man, there. I have never seen a subreddit quite like R. Markiplier. Filled with people who you can tell are just genuinely trying to be as nice as they possibly can be and are just chucking spears right at your heart with every sentence they type. I really do think you mean to be nice, but please, please stop.

[B]

Nah, it's fine. I wouldn't have it any other way because this keeps their expectations really low so that when I surpass them, they'll be like, I can't wait. Oh, man, the opening's gonna grab my fucking balls.

[A]

Are you doing like a late night tour of or anything? Like, don't people go around and promote stuff after it's come out? Are you doing that?

[B]

Yes. So I have like a bajillion interviews this week and, oh, hell, I have to be at the first one at the Chinese theater on the 27th, and then I have a Q and a one at a regal on the 28th, and then I'm hoping to get to Cincinnati for some of the opening weekend ones. That would be very fun.

[A]

That's exciting.

[B]

That would be very nice. Haven't been back in a bit. Missed Christmas, but it's weird. I came back home after. It was like. When I. When I finally was like, oh, fuck, it's done, like, and I just. I just laid on the couch. I cried. Like, I cried like you wouldn't believe. Just the stress just leaving my body. It was nuts. I didn't even realize I'd been holding on to it that hard. That might have been like 30 minutes. I just cried and it was. And I felt so. Just light afterwards. Just. Oh, it was nice.

[A]

Yeah. No, there's definitely been some moments of, like, tension we've seen. I'm sure you've bottled up even more than that. I can't imagine what this amount of pressure would feel like. And also finally getting to relieve it. That's way more than I could. I could imagine going through.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I would have been fine if it was just the 60 to 100. I'd be totally fine. And now it's more. And that's just really cool. I hope it opens up doors not just for me, but for other creators out there. I think that it's a really cool opportunity that a lot of people are rallying around and then just.

[A]

Yeah, I don't mean to be a spear hurler.

[B]

Okay, hurl me.

[A]

Actually, it's not you. I think that you in space with who killed Markiplier with ice, with all those things. I think you've been innovative, you've been creative, you've done amazing and new and interesting things. I think a lot of creators are more like me and take like the laziest path possible once they get like a chance to make something. I think that opening more doors for you could lead to some really cool stuff and other creators. There's some other creators that could also do some amazing things. But I feel like there's definitely going to be some subpar stuff that would come out of that sphere because not everybody has the drive and the passion that you do in this industry. A lot of people are creative, which is amazing. But there's a mixture of people. There's people that are in it just for the money. There's people that are in it just for the creative side. There's people that are in it for some mix of both and probably other motivations that I'm not even thinking of right now. So I hope more people like you come out and make amazing things. But I do think that there's going to be a lot of subpar stuff from people that have a platform but don't put in the kind of effort and work and passion that you do.

[B]

Oh well, I mean, thank you for your faith me and I, I do know yeah, there probably are gonna be some real shit video game adaptations after this. I got a funny feeling not saying, not naming any names every.

[A]

Video game movies been great before now, so I can't imagine.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think there actually will be, it'll be a mixed bag. Right. But I think overall, just as a trend there's, there's huge opportunities for these not to cost, I've said that for a while now is not to cost a bazillion dollars to make a movie. I think that, I think that there is a market to have, you know, the low budget, under a million dollar budget movies in theaters for people to see. I think that's fun. I think that there's plenty of opportunity for that and I hope, I hope to see more of it even, even a shitty movie I would love to go see. I kind of like to see bad movies every Once in a while.

[C]

Just.

[B]

It doesn't have to be Cats where it's like already a 300 million dollar movie. And it's also bad. You know, we don't need that. We can have a $500,000 bad movie, but people go see it.

[A]

I saw people that were comparing cats to your meow video and giving your meow video the higher rating between the two.

[B]

I thought you were gonna say like put buttholes on them or something like that. Didn't they have to edit out the buttholes in cats?

[A]

Why were there buttholes? Wouldn't they have had to edit them in? Were they naked?

[C]

Anatomical correctness, Wade. Cats have butth. Giant humanoid human sized cats.

[A]

I just assumed those were cgi. They could choose whether or not to make the buttholes.

[C]

What do you think they're licking down there?

[A]

Dessert.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

It is dessert. Butthole dessert. It's actually what we call Lexi Butthole dessert.

[A]

What do we say about pottying on the floor?

[B]

You know what the horrible thing about that was, and now that I've done more VFX myself, is they didn't have any of the actors wearing tracking suits.

[C]

What were they. Wait, I assume how. What were they wearing?

[B]

Normal clothes, which is almost impossible to track on because it's moving and rippling.

[A]

And I thought they'd be like full suit, green dots or whatever. I thought they'd have the whole. You'd think.

[B]

But the director, who had very little experience in VFX was like, nah, I don't want them getting distracted with these suits.

[A]

That makes me sad.

[C]

It is very sad that it's almost funnier. So for like people outside the industry, which I'm including myself in, like when you see the footage of like a Marvel movie and you see it's like a huge blue everything on. They're standing on blue boulders and like Iron man is just covered in tracking dot and all this. And like the only one who's not covered in blue and dots and shit is like Chris Evans. Because Captain America just is a guy and. And you see the behind and they're like acting. And you're like, that was. That'd be so silly. That must be hard. It would be way, way fucking funnier if it's just a room full of normal looking people wearing normal clothes. But they're all like, I'm a cat. I'm a cat. I'm a big fucking cat.

[B]

Honestly, like, I would have loved to watch that.

[C]

You need a little bit of suspension of reality to be a human Cat.

[A]

Not with like Thanos, one of the other big bad guys. Not only do they have the tracking stuff, didn't they have like just a little rod with like a thing on there? Like this is where you look to look into my face?

[C]

Yeah, for a line of sight. They have like extensions or whatever because you, you need all the line of sights to line up correctly.

[A]

So you're not even looking at the actor's face while you're like yelling at them. You're looking at like something floating above their head.

[B]

Oh, I might be wrong about that. Oh, wait, no, I might be. I might have been misled. I might have been. Got it. Looks like they did have sub tracking suits. My bad.

[C]

I like Mark's version better.

[B]

Where did I hear that? I blame Corridor for that one. I'm gonna throw Corridor under the bus for that one.

[C]

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[A]

I'm following this. Just chit chat about anything else. Anything current event. Why you guys want to talk about?

[B]

Oh, nothing's been happening in the world worth talking about so.

[C]

Well, it's been pretty boring. I think I've been walking around like this, but I'm pretty sure it's all boring and everything's fine.

[B]

Oh, I've been walking around like this.

[C]

You know, you gotta be careful though. Stuff above you is not what you want to be looking at. You want to. You should wear hats.

[B]

No, I squint really hard.

[A]

I just do not watch the news. You hear some of the big things, but it's not good video game wise. Oh, I did have some video game stuff. I want to talk about what it was though. There's a lot of Pokemon fan games, right? And I saw a ROM hack recently. I don't know how new or old it is, but I think it was called like Pokemon all in. And everything in the game is gambling. Like you can't catch Pokemon. You earn and gamble for coins to go to like a one of those little gumball type machines and you put your tokens in, a random Pokemon pops out and that's the one you're stuck with and whatever. All the items like potions and stuff, you can't buy them, you gotta go get them in a casino. There's loan sharks. Like it's an entire just gambling experience. Then you go fight so you can get more money to buy gambling tokens. Free real life, free in game. All gambling.

[B]

Well you know, that's where the world's moving towards.

[C]

You mean surprise mechanics? God, I love surprise mechanics.

[B]

Surprise mechanics? Is that what they're calling it nowadays?

[C]

That's what they've been called since they were surprise Mechanics in Battlefield 2. I thought I had a video game I wanted to talk about but. Oh, Hytale. You guys have any interest in Hytale?

[A]

Yes, but I have not played it or seen it.

[C]

It's what was originally the Minecraft called Hypixel. I think it was like they, they decided to make it its own game. It's unrelated to Minecraft but it's a similar like it's based the block based crafting game. But then it like development died and it got sold to, got sold to Riot Games and then they like killed it and it was just shelved and then some point the original developers got the rights back. They bought it back from Riot. It just came out in like early access like last week ago or something like that. But like it's like, it's like it feels like Minecraft 2.0. It's different. It's markedly different. It's not just like a copycat copycat, but I've played a little bit of it and it's fascinating and it was like nostalgic but fresh in that way where it's like it captures the Minecraft thing. But I was having a lot of fun with it, which I haven't played a solo survival game ever since I spent time in Minecraft messing around.

[A]

So is it solo?

[C]

You can play multiplayer. But I just, I just started my own world and was just messing around and playing solo and like I didn't even and try and get anyone to play with. I was like happy to play by myself, which I thought was super interesting. But given our personal history with Minecraft and general connection to it, I just feel like, I mean maybe we should play it together and see if it's Fun. But also I was curious if you guys know about it or if you're. If you try it, let me know because I'm curious how you, how you like it.

[A]

I heard if, if Minecraft was made like in 2025, it'd be like what it looks like or whatever else. Like those are the things I've heard, but nothing specific. I know it's still very early access.

[C]

Yeah, it's. It's not, it's just early access. It's not even on like, like Steam or anything. You have to go to their website and like buy an early backers edition and they let you download the launcher and stuff all directly from them, but.

[B]

Kind of like how original Minecraft was, I guess.

[C]

I mean, that's kind of how it feels, honestly. Like it feels. It does feel like if Minecraft just came out this year instead of in 2009 or whatever. But it's interesting. We have a lot of connections to that game between the three of us.

[A]

You guys like Factory Builders, right? Like satisfactory and factorial stuff.

[B]

They're fun, sure.

[A]

I've not done much of it, but there's one called Alchemy Factory where it's like you're a shop owner and you're making like health potions and stuff and you have to like build a factory to make those. Then like you have ways of getting them to the shelves where people come and buy them. And then there was one that just came out in early access called Star Rupture, which is kind of like satisfactory, but a heavier focus on fighting. I thought those might be interesting games. It could be fun. I guess I got really into satisfactory. I guess the three of us played. I don't remember playing with you guys. Sorry, but I don't. But I played it with Molly a whole bunch and we got very deep into it. I had a very, very intricate factory and it got to the point where I had to like re optimize everything at the very end game. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, so I never finished it. But I got super into like the factory building stuff and trying to like min max and make sure like you have the right amount of smelters to miners to, you know, distributions, that you're using all your resources efficiently. And I think that's fun. It can be very tedious and taxing, but it's very fun.

[C]

It doesn't sound like either of you would enjoy playing those games with me, but I do like them in my own special way. Does that mean I like to make Nightmares. I've, I've talked to you guys about, what's it called? Game it out or whatever. Let's game it out.

[B]

Oh yeah, I think I remember that.

[C]

Who just makes like, you know, pushes things to the limits and makes crazy. That's how I play those sort of games. I still find them very fun but I don't play them efficiently and I make a scary bullshit that never works quite right and looks ridiculous.

[A]

That's fun too. But like I said, once you get to the end game and you have to like, like you've got 18 layers of production that have to get to this machine that takes like six inputs. It's like if you don't have it somewhat optimized, it's just, you're never going to get anything done.

[C]

You just keep connecting stuff until you. Until it works, right?

[B]

Yeah, it'll work eventually. If it doesn't, you're not trying hard enough and you need to try harder.

[C]

If it doesn't, you haven't connected everything. Just plug more stuff into more stuff.

[B]

There's a few interesting things in the world out there that if you guys are curious about. Let's say the 25 worst items pulled from people's butt in 2020.

[A]

I think that gave me heartburn. What did you just say?

[C]

Are they unique or are they the same 25 worst items from last year? Because I know, I know there's basically the same collection year to year. But I'm just curious, is one of.

[A]

Them Steve O from Jackass?

[C]

All of Steve O. I'll tell you.

[B]

Rock is on this list.

[C]

Dwayne.

[B]

It says a rock, but it's not, you know, doesn't specify which rock. It might, it might be the rock, but it might not.

[C]

Gary A Rock Stevenson. He's way less famous than the rock.

[A]

Some animals eat rocks that like and they'll help in digestion. Maybe someone butt chugged a rock hoping it would help with their digestion issues.

[B]

It could be. There's not many explanations of why there's a couple here, but I'll go through it. A thermos.

[A]

Like a whole thermos.

[C]

That sounds big. That sounds too big to me. I wouldn't want that. Doesn't sound good.

[B]

It was discovered only during a police body scan, so I'm assuming it was.

[A]

Holding something other than coffee.

[B]

Yeah, tea, a corn cob style pipe.

[A]

And a button nose and two eyes. That's where he goes during the summer.

[B]

Okay, so this one, this one's confusing because it says a plastic coat hanger which is like, okay. But then it also says, comma, altered, so the person could drive to the er.

[A]

Oh, they were just hanging up their butthole so they can make alterations.

[B]

I don't do the alter afterwards, before. Was it already in there and they altered. Did they? Like tying a cherry stem with your tongue. Did they alter it? So I gotta drive, so I gotta get this.

[A]

They clenched and just snapped it in half so it would fold up.

[C]

Yeah, I used to know somebody could do that with metal ones. You put a whole metal hanger in, pull out a straight piece of wire, put the straight wire back in, put it back. They pull out a whole hanger back and forth, back and forth.

[A]

That would actually be amazing to witness, but also, no.

[B]

Maybe it was a distractible listener who heard about us bunking our beds and was like, oh, plastic coat hanger. I got one of those. I just need to cut it into sections.

[A]

Like slicing tables that they have that.

[B]

People cut stuff with someone's butt is just that. That's really scary.

[A]

I can't think of the name of it. But, like, we had one at school. It was always, like, a real scary thing to use.

[C]

This is just a paper cutter. Like a. Like a guillotine style paper cutter.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, the real giant is a giant table with a huge blade that you like.

[C]

This is like a paper cutter. It's for cutting papers or whatever fits in your butt, I guess.

[B]

I guess. Anyway, we're only three of 25. It was a light bulb.

[C]

Ew.

[B]

Which end first, do you think?

[C]

I assume they were trying to make it work, so I would assume socket end first. And then when it didn't work, they were like, oh, it must need to screw in further. And then just kept going.

[B]

What if it did work when a saga. And I was like, I wonder if it would work the other way.

[C]

I wonder.

[A]

I'm trying to think of an ass. Static pun, A electricity beard clippers wrapped in plastic.

[C]

Ah.

[B]

For cleanliness, for constipation, relief.

[C]

Were they on? Like, man, I really need something to vibrate. Ah, I wish I had it. Oh, I know what vibrates.

[A]

I want my shit to come out at a two.

[C]

You pull it out and the guard popped all the way off. You're like, I'm bald in there.

[A]

All right.

[B]

So then it gets more generic from there. You got a doorknob?

[A]

Sure, sure.

[C]

Everyone's been there.

[B]

I'm not sure if it was attached to the door.

[A]

Someone walking into the ER with just a fucking door strapped behind the fucking door. How do we get in Doc, turn the knob. Oh, yeah.

[B]

A sandal.

[C]

Marbles.

[B]

An egg. Uncooked pasta. Pasta came out cooked.

[A]

A dog. I thought you were gonna say a dog. Old fucking dog.

[C]

Why would you put uncooked squid ink pasta up there? Oh, it was just normal pasta.

[A]

Wait, hold on. What the fuck?

[C]

Because of the poop mark.

[B]

A toothbrush. Film canister. A battery powered light. A flashlight. These are two different entries.

[A]

Vape.

[B]

Two pencils. A rock. Eyeglasses. Plastic cleanser bottle filled with liquid eyeglasses in a case.

[A]

They keep falling off my shirt. Where am I gonna keep them?

[B]

A wine stopper. That one's obvious. I get what that's for. A wine decanter. I get what that's for as well. That's not on the list. I made it. I made it.

[A]

Funny, I feel sick.

[B]

Turkey baster. Corn cob holder, which I think is the spiky thing that goes into corn cobs.

[A]

Oh, I hope not.

[B]

A full shampoo bottle listed twice. Don't know if that's the same person.

[C]

Put it back in the moment. They got it out. Weird dude.

[A]

Head and shoulders. My ass.

[C]

My ass.

[B]

And then a baseball. The explanation for that was to see what it felt like.

[C]

I don't know why, but I was really hoping the explanation would be out at home. Yeah, because he.

[B]

No, I get.

[C]

I get it.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

No, explain. Actually, explain it. Explain it for those at home who didn't get it.

[C]

Catcher's garden. Home plate. His. His glove has fallen off. He's desperate to make the catch. It's a really. It's a really fast, hard throw from the outfield. It's perfect. And in a fit of desperation, he's squats down, catches it in his ass as he makes the tag. But the runner, really, you know, there's a lot of contact and he just gets stuck. But he got the out.

[B]

Happens to the best of us.

[C]

Plus, he wanted to see how it felt.

[A]

I don't know if we can top what's happened here. So I think that that's what people really needed to know about how life's been for us since the last time we did a normal episode. I think we're going to wrap it there. The butthole stuffer. Stocking stuffers really encapsulates what distractable is.

[C]

I had an article, but that's fine.

[A]

Do you want to share it, Bob? Yeah, if you want to share it.

[C]

I thought this one was really funny.

[A]

All right, all right. You know What? Fair enough.

[C]

January 13th. Authorities in Missouri say that the multiple monkeys who have been on the loose in the St. Louis area, have now been joined by a wayward goat. Attempts to find this group of animals are being hampered by AI because people keep generating videos and images of the group of animals being in places where they are not. Also, I just want to say I'm really sorry to this person, but a spokesperson for the St. Missouri Health Department or St. Louis Health Department, whose name is Willie Springer, said that the search has been further complicated by people making funny joke videos that are AI generated of the animals committing crimes and. And vandalizing things and jumping on people's trampolines in their backyard. Well, not real trampolines, but. But also Willie Springer.

[A]

Willie or only.

[B]

I'm not gonna lie. A lot of those backyard trampoline videos did get me, like, fooled me. But now every time I see a night vision animal video, I'm like, it's gotta be fake.

[C]

No, my favorite. My favorite one and also the one where that I. That got me when I. It was all in one night. I watched like some deer or some bears. And then there was one where a trampoline wanders in the edge of frame and climbs up on the trampoline. And a trampoline is jumping on the trampoline. And I was like, got me. But that's very funny.

[B]

Related.

[A]

Unrelated. I feel like I would. I really want to jump on a trampoline. It's been so long. But I feel like I would really not feel good after doing it at this point in life.

[C]

You gotta go to one of those indoor trampoline parks. It's safer. Plus, then there'll be lots of people there to videotape it.

[A]

I've been to one of those once. It's been a long time. Was that with you guys?

[B]

Not me, maybe.

[C]

Good morning crust. It's a great day to be a bread brother.

[B]

Mornings are not my jam or jelly.

[C]

Oh, come on. Stop loafing around. I just woke up feeling hollow inside. Just grab one of the new morning uncrustable sandwiches like bright eyed berry or up an apple filled with 12 grams of protein and tons of deliciousness crust.

[A]

What are you eating?

[C]

It's just granola. Not even yogurt. No crust, no fuss. Uncrust your mornings.

[A]

I got nothing else to say. Any final thoughts or words?

[C]

Mark's article was better animals on trampolines.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Butthole's very distractible. You know, I guess I'll go through the points here. Corridor crew lost a point for the cat lodge. I originally was gonna sign that to Mark, but he passed the buck. So, Corridor crew, has anyone ever gotten just a minus one point? That's not one of us to end an episode.

[B]

I'm sure one of our wives has done that.

[C]

That or like listeners or watchers or something.

[A]

I know we've given points. I don't know if I've ever done a negative to someone else, but anyway, congrats, Corridor, for maybe having the record just first. Mark, you got points for something, man. Bob and I were just talking about how I can't read any of my writing.

[C]

We were talking about this.

[A]

That sound to make out. Now, that can't be what that is. What I think to make out is actually two words, not three. I just can't tell which where they begin and end. Maybe people will be making out during Ironlawn, you know, who knows? The final, final stretch. You're a Da Vinci shill. Cats Not Fairlight decanter. 20, 28 items in butthole.

[B]

There's a big jump from not fairlight to decanter. I feel like in the.

[A]

If we were to look at the.

[B]

Time code of the movie or the episode.

[A]

Yeah, I got kind of caught up in conversation and probably didn't assign any points for a while, but it's okay. You get seven there. It's okay. All right.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[B]

I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it.

[A]

Bob, you got points for Walking New York realman. Remember that when you said that?

[B]

Walking New York realman.

[C]

I do it every day.

[A]

Oh, New Year's resolution. Walking New Year's resolutions. What? That is Beatles. You're a better friend. Friend that I am. You gave out my full legal name.

[C]

Mark did that. But sure, yeah, whatever.

[A]

Rat Room money. That can't be what that says.

[C]

This is worse than usual, man.

[B]

What episode did you listen to? This sounds like a cool episode.

[A]

I started to write Butthole, something that you said. I didn't finish it, so it just says butthole Y hightail animals on trampolines. And had to explain your baseball joke.

[C]

Whoa, whoa. No, there was a big gap in mine, too. Wait a minute.

[A]

Up to nine. So right now it's nine to seven.

[B]

Bob, them's the brakes.

[A]

What do we do after that? I forget wheels. We have wheels.

[C]

The wheel thing.

[A]

Oh, man. How could I forget? These were so good to me last time.

[C]

I think a 2 would be real funny.

[A]

Much prefer a 1. 3 is just too random. So we want to see that sweet number.

[B]

All right. I got a chance.

[C]

All right. Well, what are you adding to the wheel?

[A]

I Hadn't got that for far. Made most references to the past. How are we going to keep track of it? No idea. There'll be one of it comes up, we'll say, I don't know. We'll move on. References to the past.

[B]

I mean, it's a new one I got to get. Yeah.

[C]

All right. We're shut hold and we get one big old spin, man. Imagine if out of 88 options, you land on. It's a tie.

[A]

We don't have to. Let's just go point to the listeners like usual and move on.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Ah, Used best word.

[A]

Decanter is the best one. I have written down that Mark said.

[C]

But I said vicissitude.

[B]

Oh, when did you say vicissitude? That's a great word.

[C]

Well, I probably said that somewhere in there. I use that word all the time.

[A]

Mark gets it for decanter. God damn it. That is a good word. Are you saying it? But what a great word.

[C]

Am I the host now because I win?

[A]

I guess so. Congratulations, Bob. You're the victor. It's not a tie. That's so sad. I can't believe. Believe it.

[B]

It's close. It was close.

[A]

It was close. And I would have liked at the end. Yeah, but, you know, at the end, Bob, you came out ahead, so why don't you give us a winner's speech?

[C]

It's been so long since we've done an actual episode of this podcast that I sort of forgot how it worked. But now that we've had a chance to warm up, I remember it doesn't. Doesn't really work the same way every time anyway. So it's gonna feel just as new and awkward next time. Which is hilarious because how many we're verging on 400 episodes of this now? Something like that. Good Lord.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Or just somewhere in that ballpark.

[A]

That's pretty cool.

[C]

Still, you know what? You guys keep it fresh. Congratulations to us all, but mostly me, I guess.

[B]

Congratulations.

[A]

Oh, yeah. That was nice for a second there, Mark. Not winners speech.

[B]

I didn't win, and that's what happened. I came into this show. I didn't get points. He did. Therefore, one is bigger than the other. Which one was the bigger number? Is that the winner? Yes. Am I the loser also? Yes. Are these the facts? And is this what happened? That's for the judge to decide.

[A]

And he did.

[B]

The end.

[A]

Well said. With writing like that, I can't wait for the movie coming out here in just a few days. Guys, if you haven't gotten tickets, go see Iron Lung 3D, print your buckets. And I guess stay tuned for another episode of this where Bob will be hosting. If you haven't already. Go follow Bob at my skirm Mark at markiplier. Or is it ironlung.com? that's website.

[B]

Ironlung.com is where the. Yes. Where the tracker is.

[A]

Go check there too. I'm Wade Minion 777 or Lord Minion 777. Stay tuned for the next one.

[C]

Merch.

[A]

We have new merch coming all the time over at that website. That's if you're a watcher. It's right there.

[C]

You remember it. Say it, Wade.

[A]

Distractible dot shop.

[C]

Yeah. Why'd you say it like that? That's clearly the correct. You did it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank God.

[C]

Say with confidence.

[A]

It's distractible Shop. Go buy our stuff. Go buy Mark's movie. Chill out. Buy all of our. I don't have much individual, but just buy whatever you can find. We'll see you next time for bobblehost. Until then, podcast.

[C]

Now.

[B]

Watch new episodes on Spotify.