Distractible Podcast: "Nah, I'd Lose"

Episode Date: October 24, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens
Episode Theme:
The trio dives into ridiculous, imaginative game scenarios where the goal is to lose as spectacularly as possible. Blended with classic Distractible banter, personal stories, and a healthy dose of absurd roleplay, this episode is a showcase of how losing can be as entertaining as winning.

Main Themes & Purpose

• Role-Reversal Game: The central structure is a parody of "Nidwin," with the twist: the players must lose (the most believably and entertainingly) rather than win.
• Absurd Storytelling & Improvisation: Each host creates increasingly elaborate ways to throw fictional contests, leading to hilarity and elaborate mental images.
• Classic Distractible Banter: Interspersed with the main game, the hosts share life updates, parenting stories, medical asides, and commentary on each other's quirks.

Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Life Updates & Small Talk (03:56–33:45)

Wade's Obsession with Soto

• Wade proclaims he cannot live without Cincinnati’s Soto restaurant, expressing a desire to franchise it just to keep it in his life.
• Mark reviews his own Soto experience, confirming the hype but poking fun at Wade’s fixation.
  • Memorable moment: Mark’s “Michael Douglas” aside and Bob’s gentle ribbing over its randomness.
  • “Michael Douglas probably stand out. My references do not.” —Wade, [07:23]

Bob's "Giant Turkey" Adventure & Parenting Fears (11:16–19:44)

• Bob shares the hilarious peril of taking his son to a Midwest fall festival, with James tumbling down a hill and marveling at a “70-pound turkey.”
  • “That's the biggest turkey I've ever seen.” —Bob, [13:54]
• Discussion of the fear shift that comes with parenthood—less worried for self, more anxious for child's safety.
• Mark and Wade connect and empathize with new physical anxieties as they age/have responsibilities.

Mark's Hydration Realization (21:00–25:07)

• Mark reveals he's likely been "chronically dehydrated" due to his high salt intake and minimal water consumption.
  • “I've never peed so much in my goddamn life. It never stops.” —Mark, [23:25]
• They riff on water/salt balance and the science behind hydration.

Bob's PSA: Get Your Iron Checked! (25:07–29:55)

• Bob recalls the aftermath of his wife Mandy’s difficult childbirth and her lingering health issues, discovering a critical iron deficiency only after much persistence.
  • “She asked me to bring this up just to say to all of the women that are listening...get your fucking iron checked.” —Bob, [27:00]
  • Strong advocacy for listeners, particularly women, to advocate for iron/ferritin testing when experiencing fatigue, anxiety, or related symptoms.
• Details about supplementation, why infusions might be necessary, and food sources vs. medical options.

2. "Nah, I'd Lose" – The Main Game (33:45–62:19)

Frog vs. Fly DEATHMATCH (34:05–47:16)

• Mark introduces a creative roleplay: You're a frog forced into a colosseum deathmatch against a fly. But your wife’s life insurance bet means you MUST lose, convincingly.

• Each round, Bob and Wade (taking turns) devise elaborate, progressively reckless ways to try (and spectacularly fail) to lose the battle (rolling dice after each action):

  • Bob’s turn 1: Charges the fly recklessly and accidentally wins with a critical roll.
  • Wade’s turn 1: Tries to "accidentally" concuss himself using his tongue on a pillar, but instead performs an impressive feat.
  • Bob’s showboating: Full-on "Hello My Baby" frog dance performance, with added absurdity each round (rings of fire, alligators, kebabs).
  • Escalation: The scenarios grow more dangerous and extravagant, but they keep "winning" the fight in absurd ways—until Bob finally, in classic Looney Tunes fashion, gets eaten by an alligator while pulling out its tooth to roast flies as kebabs.
    • “As you are split legged Van Damme style... your legs snap in half and you get snapped and you get eaten.” —Mark, [46:32]

Pig Accident Insurance Fraud Roleplay (49:27–59:16)

• The next scenario: You must make your death look accidental on the farm to cash in on insurance, with a vengeful pig as possible culprit.
• Both Wade and Bob improvise scenes of setting bear traps, taunting pigs with beloved Blanky (Betsy), and narrating their every move into a (very incriminating) tape recorder.
  • “I'll bend down now and pick them up to reload my shotgun, which I do, and the pig is no longer interested in Bessie.” —Bob, [57:51]
• After several close calls and much absurdity, Bob finally succeeds in enraging the pig enough for disaster to ensue.

Game Mechanics, Points & Favorite Gags

• Mark serves as chaotic judge, awarding and deducting points for wit, listening skills, and entertainment.
  • Points awarded for “immortality,” listening, loss, and various jokes throughout.
• Running gag: “Say it out loud for the tape recorder” and over-literal narration.
• Frequent callbacks to earlier bits: “Michael Douglas,” goat cheese bread, hydration, “Hello My Baby” dance.

3. Wrap-Up & Reflections (62:19–64:44)

• Victory tallied: Bob wins handily with “immortal” status and best “losing” performances.
  • “It couldn't go much better than being immortal and winning.” —Wade, [63:30]
• Wade gives a gracious loser speech, content to watch his friends “finally use all their ideas.”
• Bob and Mark reflect on the fun and absurdity of the episode, celebrating improv and ridiculous storytelling.

Notable Quotes & Timestamp Highlights

• Wade on Soto, food, and Michael Douglas:
  “Michael Douglas probably stand out. My references do not.” —Wade, [07:23]
• Bob, after his son takes a tumble:
  “He took like two steps and then just piled at the bottom. And it's busy. This is right by the entrance… James is just fucking eating so much.” —Bob, [12:52]
• Mark on new health kick:
  “I've never peed so much in my goddamn life. It never stops. I'm like, I put one of these. I am peeing more than I'm taking in.” —Mark, [23:25]
• Bob’s iron deficiency PSA:
  “Get your fucking iron checked. … tell your doctor to not be a dismissive asshole.” —Bob, [27:04]
• Bob on trying—and failing spectacularly—to lose as a frog:
  “Hello my baby, hello my darling… I do the whole emote. While I'm emoting, kick a guide fly way the hell out of into space.” —Bob, [41:30]
• Mark, narrating the frog’s epic demise:
  “As you are split legged Van Damme style... your legs snap in half and you get snapped and you get eaten. Boom. Done.” —Mark, [46:32]
• Bob, narrating every move for the insurance investigators:
  “Oh, no. I've dropped the blanket onto the bear traps. Everybody good?” —Bob, [57:51]
• Wade’s graceful losing:
  “Listen, I may have lost. I lost outright. I deserve to lose, but I feel like a winner seeing my friends succeed and host and use up all their ideas finally...” —Wade, [62:48]
• Bob, basking in his improbable “immortality” and win:
  “I became immortal. It was pretty... This was really funny bits. This is a heck of an episode.” —Bob, [63:23]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:56] – Start of main content, small talk
• [04:22–09:43] – Wade’s fine dining monologue (Soto)
• [11:16–15:26] – Bob’s turkey story and parenting panic
• [21:00–25:07] – Mark’s hydration revelation
• [25:07–29:55] – Bob’s PSA on iron deficiency
• [33:45–34:05] – Transition to “Nah, I'd Lose” main game
• [34:05–47:16] – Frog vs. Fly deathmatch roleplay
• [49:27–59:16] – Farm/pig/insurance deathmatch scenario
• [62:19–64:44] – Results, winner's and loser's speeches, episode reflections

Tone & Language

• Conversational and playful: The three hosts riff off one another, with plenty of asides, callbacks, and self-deprecating humor.
• Absurdist and creative: The roleplay segments are deliberately over-the-top, embracing cartoon logic and slapstick.
• Supportive and warm: Even in competition or mockery, there’s underlying friendship.

Final Thoughts

“Nah, I’d Lose” stands out as a showcase for Distractible’s brand of creative, unscripted humor. The episode emphasizes that sometimes “losing” leads to the best stories—with frog colosseums, immortalities won by coin flip, and intentionally hilarious insurance fraud. There’s also an unexpected dash of real-life advice, from restaurant obsessions to health advocacy, making the episode engaging even for listeners less interested in improv games.

For new listeners, this episode is an excellent sample of Distractible's blend of improv, personal storytelling, and tongue-in-cheek competition.