Podcast Summary: Divergent Conversations

Episode 133 (Season 4): Is Everyone a Little Bit ADHD?
Hosts: Dr. Megan Anna Neff & Patrick Casale
Release Date: November 21, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dr. Megan Anna Neff and Patrick Casale, both neurodivergent therapists with lived experience of being AuDHD (Autistic + ADHD), examine the increasingly common statement, "Everyone is a little bit ADHD." They draw parallels to last week's discussion on autism, challenge the validity and consequences of the statement, offer clinical nuance, and reflect on their own experiences as professionals and individuals. The episode delves into how societal changes may be amplifying ADHD-like behaviors, why that's not the same as truly having ADHD, and the personal and systemic consequences of misunderstanding this distinction.

Tone: Authentic, conversational, vulnerable, with humor and rawness.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why the Statement “Everyone Is a Little Bit ADHD?” (01:55–05:06)

• The hosts note a spike in statements like “everyone is autistic now” and “everyone is a little bit ADHD.”
• Dr. Neff observes these refrains surfacing in clinical and social critiques:
  “Anyone who’s offering a social critique… it’s like, yeah, well, everyone’s ADHD now, right?” (02:07)
• Patrick explains:

  "We have so much going on at all times... It's easy to feel distracted... and yet I would not agree with that statement. That everyone is a little bit ADHD." (02:28)

• They both reminisce about how modern society's constant stimulation and immediacy promote more distraction and impulsivity than in the past (e.g., waiting with a cassette player; rewinding VHS tapes).

2. Modern Society & ADHD Traits: Not the Same (03:40–05:06)

• Traits like distraction, impatience, and impulsivity are increasing, but these do not equate to clinical ADHD.
• Dr. Neff warns against conflating societal distractions with a neurodevelopmental condition:
  “There are ways society is shifting that overlap with ADHD traits… but that’s not the same thing as being a little ADHD or everyone having ADHD now.” (04:46)

3. The Harm & Invalidating Impact of “Everyone is a Little ADHD” (05:06–06:53)

• Both agree the phrase is dismissive and invalidating for those genuinely struggling.
• Patrick:

  “It feels dismissive to those who are truly ADHDers, who are struggling so much to figure out how to get through their day... I don’t believe that everyone else is experiencing this the same way.” (05:06)

• Dr. Neff elaborates on the shame and confusion this creates:
  “When we hear, 'everyone's struggling with this,' it's like, well then why… why am I struggling more if everyone's supposedly struggling with ADHD now?” (05:39)
• They joke about "funny comebacks" for such statements (e.g., “You also have mold growing in a coffee cup for three weeks?”), using humor to illustrate the real-life impact of ADHD.

4. Societal Structures, Stress, and ADHD—But Not ADHD (06:56–08:52)

• Discuss how normalization of executive dysfunction may help some people but fails to address systemic issues ("It’s a lot harder to deconstruct the fact that society is crumbling around us..." - Patrick, 07:03).
• The disappearance of communal support and increased siloing with trends like remote work is raised as an indirect driver of these experiences.

5. Value in Community & Body Doubling for ADHD Support (09:33–10:22)

• They recognize structured community activities, like team meetings, can be very supportive for people with ADHD, providing accountability and opportunities for “body doubling.”
  • Patrick:

    “With my staff, we do a monthly team meeting... it’s about the contact... my ADHD therapist loves that because it's like, here's an accountability measure.” (09:33)

6. Drawing Clinical Distinctions: Traits vs. Diagnosis (10:22–14:07)

• Dr. Neff discusses the tension between affirming language and necessary clinical distinctions:
  “It’s a paradox...talking about functional impairment...not the most neurodivergent affirming language. And also it is the experience of it as a disability that marks it as separate from someone who's experiencing an increase in distraction.” (10:46)
• Functional impact across domains (school, work, safety) is key; the ADHD experience is typically lifelong and evident from childhood, whereas situational stress can mimic ADHD traits.
• Masking and compensation can delay the visible impact (e.g., many women or mothers don't see symptoms until stress increases).

7. The Dangers of Undiagnosed ADHD (14:07–15:43)

• Undiagnosed ADHD can be very dangerous, leading to secondary mental health conditions, substance use, risky behaviors.
• Dr. Neff:
  “Undiagnosed and unsupported ADHD is really dangerous… it will often show up in mental health conditions, in substance use, in risk taking behavior…” (14:07)
• Patrick shares personal experience:

  “...impulsivity and just making really bad decisions and really honestly self destructing my own life...” (15:38)

8. Lived Experience: Impulsivity, Romanticism & ADHD “Tax” (15:45–20:19)

• Both hosts recount impulsive decisions like moving or booking trips seeking novelty (dopamine), and how ADHD can lead to behavioral patterns like gambling addiction.
• Patrick:

  “Anytime I travel... I could be sitting in the square reading, writing, drinking wine in Spain... Life would be so much better.” (18:45)

• Dr. Neff:
  “Whenever I move...it often is better because it’s like a blank canvas… then after about a couple months, I’m like, ‘dang it, I followed myself here.’” (19:09)

9. Grief & Shame in Late-Life Diagnosis (20:29–22:59)

• Dr. Neff:
  “There’s things in my past I have so much shame on. If I had known this...maybe not all of that would be different, but I could have done things differently…” (20:29)
• Patrick gives examples of how women/genderqueer folks are often overlooked, carrying misdiagnoses and internalized shame.

10. ADHD Diagnosis, Gender, and Neurotype Dominance (23:12–28:53)

• Many internalize and minimize their symptoms because of gendered stereotypes ("ADHD only impacts young white boys" - Patrick, 23:48).
• The hosts discuss how they often lead with their autistic identity, and speculate that autistic traits can dominate over ADHD in self-perception for many AuDHDers.
• Dr. Neff:
  “When I enter ADHD spaces...I don’t feel like I fit or belong. There’s something about the addition of that to the autism... But when I enter autistic spaces, I do.” (26:45)

11. Over- vs. Underdiagnosis of ADHD (29:01–30:06)

• ADHD is both overdiagnosed (in some demographics) and underdiagnosed (especially in girls, women, and gender minorities).
• Dr. Neff:
  “With ADHD, it’s a little bit more complicated because...in some populations it is being overdiagnosed and in some...underdiagnosed.” (29:01)

12. ADHD, Trauma, and Diagnostic Complexities (30:06–31:05)

• Risk of misdiagnosis is high, especially with histories of trauma since symptoms overlap.

13. Sensory Processing and Identity (31:05–32:48)

• For both hosts, sensory issues (more commonly associated with autism) are far more impactful than ADHD traits day-to-day.
• Patrick:

  “The sensory piece is so hard...for me, unfortunately dictates everything.” (31:05)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Immediate gratification is baked into our society in a way it never was before.” – Dr. Neff (03:11)
• “It feels dismissive to those who are truly ADHDers...” – Patrick (05:06)
• “If everyone's struggling with this, why am I struggling more if everyone's supposedly struggling with ADHD now?” – Dr. Neff (05:39)
• [Joking] “You also have mold growing on your bathroom counter in a coffee cup that’s been there for three weeks?” – Dr. Neff (06:19)
• “Undiagnosed and unsupported ADHD is really dangerous.” – Dr. Neff (14:07)
• “We pay the ADHD tax a lot of the time too.” – Patrick (19:39)
• “Whenever I move...I followed myself here.” – Dr. Neff (19:09)
• “There’s things in my past I have so much shame on… if I had known this… I could have done things differently.” – Dr. Neff (20:29)
• “ADHD only impacts young white boys.” – Patrick (23:48)
• “I feel like ADHD doesn’t make my autistic experience less...but when I enter ADHD spaces...I don’t feel like I fit or belong.” – Dr. Neff (26:44)

Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | Description | |-----------|------------------------------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:55 | Episode Theme Introduced | Discussion launched: “Is everyone a little bit ADHD?” | | 03:10 | Patience in Different Eras | Comparing cassette tapes with instant gratification today | | 04:46 | Society’s ADHD-Like Shifts | How culture mimics, but does not =, ADHD | | 05:06 | Minimizing Lived Experience | How the phrase "everyone is a little ADHD" is dismissive & harmful | | 06:19 | Relatable Life Examples | Moldy coffee cup, laundry, medication forgetfulness | | 10:46 | Clinical Distinctions | Functional impairment, neurodevelopmental baseline, context, and masking | | 14:07 | Danger of Undiagnosed ADHD | Links to risk behaviors, addiction, and misdiagnosis | | 19:09 | Moving/Travel & ADHD Tax | Impulsivity and the search for novelty, but old habits persist | | 20:29 | Late Discovery & Grief | Realizing missed opportunities and the burden of shame in late diagnosis | | 26:44 | Autistic vs. ADHD Space Belonging | Differences in identity alignment within ND spaces | | 29:01 | Over-/Underdiagnosis of ADHD | Why the ADHD landscape is so complex diagnostically |

Final Takeaways

• Saying “everyone is a little bit ADHD” both invalidates lived struggles and muddies important clinical distinctions.
• The difference between experiencing occasional distractibility and living with ADHD as a neurodevelopmental condition—the latter entails real, persistent, and often disabling impacts on daily life.
• Society’s increasing pace and pressure intensify ADHD-like traits, but do not cause ADHD.
• Undiagnosed ADHD can result in dangerous coping mechanisms and significant life disruption.
• Many neurodivergent people, especially women and genderqueer folks, experience late diagnosis, which can bring grief and shame as they reframe their histories.
• Hosts reflect on their preference for autism-focused self-identity and comfort in autistic spaces vs. ADHD-centric ones.

For Listeners:

This episode offers validation, nuanced clinical insights, and lived experience if you've felt dismissed by "everyone's a little ADHD" rhetoric. The conversation is especially relevant for clinicians, late-diagnosed adults, and anyone interested in the intersection of individual neurology and social context.

Next Episode Teaser: Look for further exploration of neurodivergent identity and late-life discovery in future episodes.