The PM Podcast: "And Miles To Go Before I Sleep: A Conversation with Kay Sprinkel Grace"
Release Date: July 25, 2025
Host: Jay Frost
Guest: Kay Sprinkel Grace
Produced by: Jack Frost
Powered by: DonorSearch
Introduction to Kay Sprinkel Grace
The episode opens with Kay Sprinkel Grace sharing her philosophy on renewal and learning from experiences. She states:
"Part of the way that I stay renewed is by being able to share with people coming along some of the knowledge, the learning that I have had. And it's not to save them the experience of screwing up, but it is to tell them that if they do, you can still pull truth and learning out of even the worst experience."
[00:00]
Jay Frost introduces Kay Sprinkel Grace as a prominent figure in global fundraising and board leadership. He highlights her extensive work with over 1,000 organizations worldwide and her authorship of seven influential books, including Beyond Fundraising and The AAA Way to Fundraising Success. Her accolades include the Henry A. Rosso Medal for Lifetime Achievement in Ethical Fundraising, AFP Distinguished Fellow designation, and AFP's Global Fundraising Professional of the Year Award. The conversation promises to delve into her life story, from her Californian roots to her international endeavors and her personal writings.
Kay's Heritage and Family History
Kay delves into her deep Californian roots, mentioning:
"I am a fifth generation native Californian... I've lived in Southern California, but this is my home. This is, this is where I groove."
[01:26]
She recounts her family's migration to California during the Gold Rush era, emphasizing the entrepreneurial spirit of her ancestors. Kay narrates the arduous journey of her great-grandfather, H.L. Montfort, who arrived in Sacramento in 1849 to work for what would become Wells Fargo, and her grandmother's brave trek from New York to California with her young daughters.
"She sailed to the east coast of Panama, walked the immigrant trail across Panama with these two little girls on muleback... she got there and was pretty stunned at wooden sidewalks."
[04:00]
Kay also touches upon her other maternal lineage, detailing how her great-grandfather, initially drawn by the Gold Rush, pivoted to agriculture, recognizing the fertile lands of California as the true opportunity.
The Art of Storytelling and Family Legacy
Reflecting on her upbringing, Kay emphasizes the importance of storytelling:
"My mother was the family storyteller. So I have the gift of her stories firmly lodged in my memory."
[05:07]
She describes growing up in her grandfather's orchardist home, a Stanford graduate, and the palpable appreciation for family heritage that permeated her environment.
"You could almost feel it when you walked in, just the appreciation for this heritage."
[05:34]
Kay discusses the significance of being the sole carrier of her family's stories following her brother's passing, highlighting the responsibility and honor she feels in preserving her family's legacy.
Deep Dive into Her Father's World War II Story
During the COVID-19 pandemic, Kay undertook a profound exploration of her father's experiences during World War II. She shares:
"My father was deployed in the frame of D Day... he met a woman who had been evacuated from the south of England... it led to a lifelong relationship."
[07:42]
She narrates the complexities of her father's military service, his strategic role in establishing an ordnance depot in Cherbourg, and the eventual aftermath of VE Day as they moved through Belgium. This personal journey culminates in her current work of rewriting her father's story as a novel, blending personal narratives with historical events.
"It's a mixed genre. And my five readers said one or the other. It's either, you know, your first person narrative or it is a novel. And it's better as a novel."
[12:28]
Kay reflects on the emotional challenges of uncovering family tensions and the reconciliation of her parents' differing views on her father's relationship during the war.
Transition from Journalism to Fundraising
Kay discusses her educational background in journalism and education, and how unforeseen circumstances led her to the world of fundraising:
"I was educated as a journalist... and I have a master's in Education. Both of them are from Stanford."
[24:15]
The passage of Proposition 13 in California, which drastically changed school funding, resulted in her job loss. Concurrently, her volunteer work in fundraising at Stanford garnered recognition, leading to a paid position at a children's health organization.
"They really invested well in their volunteers... I really loved it. It was energizing."
[25:39]
Kay highlights her expertise in strategizing, planning, and securing large gifts, which established her reputation in the fundraising sector.
Addressing Psychic Poverty in Organizations
Kay introduces the concept of "psychic poverty," a state where organizations feel emotionally and mentally deprived despite external positive conditions. She explains:
"Psychic poverty means that even though conditions might be improving or better, they still feel poor."
[34:00]
Drawing from her experiences during the recession, she observes that many organizations plan from a position of fear rather than strength, hindering their proactive growth.
"We don't know what's going to happen this year. We don't know what is going to happen."
[35:00]
Kay advocates for organizations to shift their focus from merely maintaining operations to genuinely solving the problems they address, emphasizing the need for shared services and consolidation to reduce redundancy.
The Importance of Genuine Donor Relationships
Discussing donor expectations, Kay emphasizes that donors seek tangible solutions rather than just supporting organizational growth.
"What they want is, how have you changed my community? And this is where I think we are still myopic."
[42:38]
She recounts a poignant experience in Myanmar where a small contribution led to significant community impact, illustrating the profound gratitude and results appreciated by donors.
"The impact and what it's meant to the children, and that's what we don't do enough of."
[45:25]
Kay critiques the common practice of treating smaller donors with automated acknowledgments, advocating instead for personalized outreach to foster deeper connections and engagement.
Global Perspectives and Professionalization in Philanthropy
Kay shares insights from her international work, noting that regions like Central and Eastern Europe benefit from observing and adapting best practices from more established philanthropic environments.
"The issues that we see in Central and Eastern Europe are different... they have a lack of the knowledge that we have evolved."
[59:31]
She emphasizes the importance of cultivating true relationships over mechanical interactions, both in established and emerging philanthropic sectors worldwide.
"It's going to be the relationships that matter."
[64:20]
Kay is actively involved in mentoring the next generation of leaders in philanthropy, underscoring her commitment to sustaining and evolving the sector through education and personal investment.
Upcoming Projects and Future Endeavors
Looking ahead, Kay mentions her ongoing projects, including a novel based on her father's wartime experiences, a memoir encouraged by her children, and a travel book titled Take Luggage Not Baggage. She reiterates her mission to impart knowledge and learning to others, believing in the power of resilience and truth derived from personal experiences.
"It's not to save them the experience of screwing up, but it is to tell them that if they do, you can still pull truth and learning out of even the worst experience."
[68:13]
Kay concludes by inspiring listeners with her dedication to mentoring and giving back, ensuring that her contributions continue to benefit future generations.
Key Takeaways
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Heritage and Storytelling: Kay's deep-rooted Californian heritage and rich family history play a significant role in shaping her identity and professional ethos.
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Transition to Fundraising: An unexpected career shift from journalism and education to fundraising, driven by circumstances like Proposition 13 and her passion for volunteering.
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Psychic Poverty: A critical concept where organizations feel a sense of emotional deprivation despite positive external conditions, hindering growth and proactive planning.
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Donor Relationships: Emphasizing the importance of genuine, personalized relationships with donors, focusing on tangible community impact rather than just organizational growth.
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Global Philanthropy: Insights into how different regions approach philanthropy, the importance of professionalizing the sector, and adapting best practices globally.
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Future Endeavors: Kay's ongoing commitment to writing, mentoring, and contributing to the evolution of the philanthropic sector.
Notable Quotes
"Part of the way that I stay renewed is by being able to share with people coming along some of the knowledge, the learning that I have had."
[00:00]
"Psychic poverty means that even though conditions might be improving or better, they still feel poor."
[34:00]
"What they want is, how have you changed my community? And this is where I think we are still myopic."
[42:38]
"It's going to be the relationships that matter."
[64:20]
Conclusion
In this enlightening episode, Kay Sprinkel Grace offers a profound exploration of her personal history, professional journey, and insightful perspectives on fundraising and philanthropy. Her emphasis on genuine relationships, strategic consolidation, and global best practices provides valuable lessons for leaders and changemakers in the nonprofit sector. Kay's commitment to mentoring and storytelling underscores the enduring impact of legacy and continuous learning in effecting real-world change.