Podcast Summary: Don't Ask Tig – [encore] Aisha Tyler
Hosted by Tig Notaro | Guest: Aisha Tyler | Release Date: July 10, 2024
Introduction and Reunion
In this encore episode of Don't Ask Tig, Tig Notaro welcomes Aisha Tyler back as a special guest. The two friends reminisce about their long-standing relationship, tracing their friendship back to the late 1990s.
- Tig Notaro [00:40]: “Aisha Tyler is here with me today. She does everything, literally everything. She acts, she writes, she directs, she hosts, She's a stand up.”
- Aisha Tyler [01:36]: “God, takes so long. Okay, so this is the question. This is how we'll figure this out.”
They discuss their first meeting at Little Frida's coffee shop in West Hollywood, highlighting how their shared passion for performance and community brought them together.
Aisha's Love for Action and Westerns
Aisha delves into her enthusiasm for the action and western genres, linking it to her childhood experiences and personal identity.
- Aisha Tyler [03:52]: “It remains my favorite. I mean, I like lots of different movies, but I love. I love action and I love westerns.”
- Aisha Tyler [04:08]: “I was just a really nerdy kid and, like, played alone for most of my childhood. You know, I was like an outsider from the very beginning.”
Tig encourages Aisha to explore directing in the action genre, particularly mentioning Star Trek: Discovery.
- Tig Notaro [05:11]: “You should come. I've landed on the Star Trek Discovery show. You should come direct an episode of that.”
- Aisha Tyler [05:17]: “Oh, I'd love that. That would be amazing.”
Navigating Family and Political Differences
The conversation shifts to handling familial relationships strained by differing political beliefs, especially in the context of media influence.
- Listener Sandy [06:22]: “My parents are almost 80 and super isolated and have started watching nothing but Fox News. In the last election, we didn't talk for about four months. How can I maintain a loving relationship when I disagree with the ugly stuff that comes out of their mouths?”
Aisha offers compassionate strategies for bridging the generational and ideological gaps:
- Aisha Tyler [07:00]: “You have to fight disinformation with information. And get in, I think, through other avenues that aren't so directly involved with politics and social issues.”
- Aisha Tyler [08:53]: “Fox News... is like the sugar fat salt of news. They figured out the right combination of ingredients to just completely... induce stories to rivet people and... make them be frightened.”
Tig and Aisha emphasize the importance of appealing to shared humanity and providing tangible, positive interactions beyond political discourse.
- Tig Notaro [12:36]: “Sandy, you're not alone right now. Hang in there and listen to everything that dirty old hippie Aisha Tyler said.”
- Aisha Tyler [09:45]: “... introduce them to your queer friends and get them to understand that this is a person, a fully complex human being.”
Managing Relationship Dynamics: Urban vs. Rural Living
Listener Juliet poses a dilemma about balancing her desire to live in the country with her girlfriend's preference for city life.
- Juliet [15:01]: “Cities are fine, but I don't want to live in one. My girlfriend lives in the city, and I'm 30 minutes away in the country. I like land and room to roam free. Am I being selfish by not wanting to move in with her and give up my country quarters?”
Tig offers practical advice on maintaining separate living spaces while nurturing the relationship.
- Tig Notaro [15:46]: “You could alternate weekends, spend one week in the country, one week in the city.”
- Aisha Tyler [20:01]: “Nothing should be done, because no one really feels compelled. So to me, like, that the offer or the solution that Tig offered is perfect because both keep your places.”
They discuss the importance of creating personal spaces within each other's homes to preserve individual identities.
- Tig Notaro [21:22]: “Set up your own little area in each other's home so you have a little special sitting area...”
Addressing the "Karen" Name Concern
Listener Karen reaches out about the stigma associated with her name, which has become a cultural meme.
- Karen [22:07]: “My name is Karen. Should I change my name?”
Aisha and Tig respond with humor and empathy, differentiating individual identities from stereotypes.
- Aisha Tyler [22:21]: “Change your name, Karen. And don't take this the wrong way. If you fit some of the other prototypical characteristics of the archetype of Karen...”
- Tig Notaro [23:00]: “Karen Kilgariff is Karen. But she's so not a Karen.”
They advise embracing one's identity while acknowledging societal perceptions.
- Tig Notaro [24:09]: “You have to do the sneak surprise after you spend really concentrated time together.”
Minimalism vs. Collecting: Navigating Shared Spaces
Listener Beth seeks advice on managing differing levels of minimalism within her relationship.
- Beth [27:17]: “I'm not strictly a minimalist, but I love having just one of everything. My girlfriend has about four of everything... Is there any other way to get her to downsize some of her stuff?”
Aisha and Tig discuss strategies for compromising and understanding each other's attachment to belongings.
- Aisha Tyler [28:10]: “Sometimes people's emotional attachment to things feel so grand that they can't see that... it's keeping them from being high functioning.”
- Tig Notaro [30:24]: “Lay them all out on a table and have her tell you about each mug and what the attachment is.”
They suggest gradual downsizing and fostering emotional conversations about possessions.
- Aisha Tyler [30:26]: “Let her slowly realize that these emotional attachments were a little irrational because she was creating a space around herself that felt safe.”
Aisha's Entrepreneurial Venture: Sierra, Curge and Stone
Aisha shares insights into her cocktail company, highlighting its growth and philanthropic efforts.
- Aisha Tyler [33:35]: “This company that I started that launched the Sierra, Curge and Stone, that is a cocktail company. It's a ready to drink cocktail company... We launched in January... order cocktails to your home.”
- Aisha Tyler [35:27]: “Courage and stone dot com. If you want to have old fashions and Manhattan sent directly to your home.”
She emphasizes the challenges and successes of launching a female-led business in the spirits industry.
- Aisha Tyler [35:15]: “I think what we saw in Georgia was so important because that state turned because people organized and they got new voters out and they communicated...”
Closing Thoughts and Advice
As the episode concludes, Tig and Aisha reflect on resilience and perseverance, sharing personal anecdotes and words of encouragement.
- Aisha Tyler [36:43]: “From my mom, just to be perseverant. And from my dad, keep your grades and your drives up.”
- Tig Notaro [37:14]: “Just gotta keep showing up. It's really, really Incredible how far you can get if you just don't quit.”
They encourage listeners to stay committed to their paths and maintain optimism despite challenges.
- Aisha Tyler [37:54]: “...there are more good people than bad people in this country.”
Tig and Aisha sign off by expressing gratitude for their enduring friendship and the opportunity to support and inspire their audience.
- Tig Notaro [38:02]: “Thank you, thank you, thank you for doing the show.”
- Aisha Tyler [38:17]: “It was awesome. Much I want you to know...”
Notable Quotes
- Aisha Tyler [07:00]: “...fight disinformation with information.”
- Aisha Tyler [22:21]: “If you fit some of the other prototypical characteristics of the archetype of Karen...”
- Aisha Tyler [36:43]: “Keep your grades and your drives up.”
Conclusion
This heartfelt and insightful encore episode showcases the deep connection between Tig Notaro and Aisha Tyler. Through personal stories and thoughtful advice, they address a range of topics from maintaining relationships amidst political divides to navigating personal spaces and embracing one's passions. Listeners are left with actionable advice and a sense of camaraderie, reinforcing the supportive spirit that defines Don't Ask Tig.
For more episodes and to submit your own questions, visit dontasktig.org or call 832-75-8444 (8-3-3-ASK-TIG4).