Podcast Summary: Don't Ask Tig – [Encore] David Sedaris
Release Date: May 8, 2024
Host: Tig Notaro
Guest: David Sedaris
Produced by: American Public Media

Introduction

In this encore episode of Don't Ask Tig, host Tig Notaro welcomes the acclaimed writer and public radio personality David Sedaris. The episode delves into their dynamic interaction, where Tig and David tackle a series of listener questions, offering humorous and insightful advice. The conversation is both engaging and candid, showcasing the unique chemistry between the host and her guest.

Host and Guest Banter

The episode kicks off with a light-hearted exchange about the frequent mispronunciation of Tig’s last name, a relatable topic that sets a warm tone for the conversation.

• David Sedaris [00:43]: "I have a program on the BBC called Meet David Sedaris. They mispronounced my name on my own radio show."

• Tig Notaro [00:51]: "That happens to me all the time with. I get notero a lot."

David humorously suggests a nickname, emphasizing the playful rapport between them.

• David Sedaris [01:02]: "Tignatero, yeah. It's just to kind of join the words together and then put the emphasis on the wrong syllables."

This camaraderie continues as Tig reflects on their shared experiences being on This American Life.

• Tig Notaro [02:10]: "Well, I feel like anywhere you go, you're kind of the big shot, so I'm going to hand that over to you."

David shares a memorable (though fictional) moment from his stand-up experience, illustrating his knack for storytelling.

• David Sedaris [02:36]: "I told a woman who was pregnant that she needed to get an abortion, and the next day, her husband was killed in a car accident. And the audience went, like, made that really sullen."

Listener Questions and Advice

The core of the episode revolves around Tig and David addressing listener-submitted questions. Each segment features thoughtful advice, interspersed with humor and personal anecdotes.

1. Expired Chocolate Gift (Question from Barry) [08:40]

Question: Barry feels hurt receiving expired chocolates and wines from his sister-in-law and seeks advice on handling this situation without offending her.

Discussion:

• David initially misunderstands wine's shelf life, leading to a humorous moment where technical issues interrupt his advice (see [09:26] - [10:14]).

• David Sedaris [12:02]: Suggests a tit-for-tat approach by gifting expired items back, adding levity to the strained relationship.

• Hugh [12:24]: Elaborates on the idea of a "gift closet" and reflects on the lack of personal connection in such gifts.

Tig's Input [12:02]: Proposes a more direct approach, such as declining food gifts politely.

Notable Quote:

• David Sedaris [12:02]: "I think you need to just go tit for tat, really. And give her expired things as well."

2. Believing in Santa (Question from Susanna) [15:20]

Question: Susanna is unsure whether to tell her 12-year-old son the truth about Santa, especially after extended homeschooling.

Discussion:

• Hugh [15:21]: Shares a charming childhood anecdote about a friend’s belief in invisibility when naked, drawing a parallel to magical beliefs like Santa.

• David Sedaris [17:29]: Reflects on his own innocent belief in Santa, contrasting it with the shattering realization sparked by the movie Psycho.

Advice:

• Both agree that maintaining belief in Santa is harmless and can preserve a sense of wonder in children.

Notable Quote:

• Hugh [15:21]: "I wouldn't tell your son that Santa doesn't exist. I mean, I think that's beautiful that he's 12 and still believes in Santa."

3. Coping with Career Setbacks Due to Coronavirus [18:11]

Question: Vex feels devastated from career milestones being halted by the coronavirus, leading to unemployment and grief.

Discussion:

• Hugh [19:24]: Encourages Vex to find solace in helping others, suggesting volunteering as a means to combat depression.

• Tig Notaro [19:53]: Shares her thoughts on maintaining momentum post-pandemic, emphasizing the importance of collective resilience.

Advice:

• Hugh [19:24]: "The best way to get out of it is by helping people. You know, by volunteering, by doing something that can improve the life of somebody else."

Notable Quote:

• Hugh [19:24]: "People are just gonna think you're Christ. Like, when you talk about it, when you say, you know, I didn't even have the subway fare, So I walked 200 blocks."

4. Defining a New Relationship (Question from Viv) [25:06]

Question: Viv, a 56-year-old widow, seeks advice on how to introduce her new 54-year-old boyfriend without using terms like "boyfriend" or "significant other."

Discussion:

• Hugh [25:49]: Advocates for the straightforward term "boyfriend," dismissing more formal alternatives like "gentleman friend."

• Tig Notaro [26:35]: Shares her own uncomfortable experience with pronoun usage, highlighting the challenges of modern relationship terminologies.

Advice:

• Use clear and direct language such as "boyfriend" or "my boyfriend Timothy" to introduce a new partner, avoiding overly formal or vague terms.

Notable Quote:

• Hugh [27:35]: "This is my Timothy. Don't you dare sleep with him, he's taken."

Special Segment: Advice of Yesteryear [28:48]

Tig and David explore an old advice column from 1927, addressing a young man's concerns about his relationship with a flapper who demands money without reciprocation.

Analysis:

• Hugh [30:14]: Breaks down the historical context, suggesting that the man's partner is a gold digger and advising him to seek a more compatible relationship.

• Tig Notaro [32:52]: Contrasts past and present perspectives on relationships and financial dynamics.

Dorothy Dix's Advice:

• Tig humorously interprets the likely advice from Dorothy Dix, emphasizing the importance of recognizing superficial relationships.

Notable Quote:

• Hugh [31:56]: "She's just a gold digger. I mean, Dorothy Dick sniffed this one out years ago."

Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, Tig expresses her admiration for David's insightful and humorous advice.

• Tig Notaro [34:26]: Praises David's talent, stating, "he's such a busy guy," and appreciates his contributions throughout the episode.

David modestly humors Tig's compliments, and Tig provides information on how listeners can submit their own questions for future episodes.

Final Remarks:

• Tig encourages listeners to engage with the show via email or voicemail and highlights where to purchase David's book, The Best of Me.

Notable Quote:

• Tig Notaro [34:48]: "He is just really inspiring. I, I'm jealous of your brain and, and I'm thankful for your time."

Key Takeaways

• Humor and Honesty: Both Tig and David utilize humor to address and diffuse potentially sensitive or awkward situations.

• Relatability: Listener questions touch on universal themes such as gift-giving, belief systems, career struggles, and defining relationships, making the advice widely applicable.

• Support and Encouragement: Emphasis on helping others and maintaining personal connections as strategies to navigate personal and professional challenges.

• Timeless Advice: The special segment on historical advice underscores that many relationship dynamics remain consistent across generations.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. David Sedaris [00:43]: "I have a program on the BBC called Meet David Sedaris. They mispronounced my name on my own radio show."
2. David Sedaris [02:36]: "I told a woman who was pregnant that she needed to get an abortion, and the next day, her husband was killed in a car accident."
3. David Sedaris [12:02]: "I think you need to just go tit for tat, really. And give her expired things as well."
4. Hugh [15:21]: "I wouldn't tell your son that Santa doesn't exist. I mean, I think that's beautiful that he's 12 and still believes in Santa."
5. Hugh [19:24]: "The best way to get out of it is by helping people."
6. Hugh [25:49]: "I'm a firm believer in boyfriend."
7. Tig Notaro [34:26]: "he's such a busy guy."

This episode of Don't Ask Tig offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and practical advice, making it a valuable listen for anyone seeking guidance on life's myriad challenges. Tig Notaro and David Sedaris deliver their insights with warmth and wit, ensuring that listeners are both entertained and enlightened.