A 93-Year-Old Shares Secrets to a Creative Life

Summary

Podcast Summary: Don’t Listen to Us

Episode: A 93-Year-Old Shares Secrets to a Creative Life
Date: April 22, 2026
Hosts: Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody, Gideon Grody Patinkin
Guest: Doris Peltzman
Producer: Lemonada Media

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Overview

In this heartfelt, lively episode, the Patinkin-Grody family is joined by 93-year-old artist, former school principal, and educator Doris Peltzman. Together, they explore the art of staying creative across a lifetime, the nuances of intergenerational friendship, and how to foster hope and purpose for young people in a challenging world. The group fields listener questions about nourishing hope in children, the changing nature of creativity, and the reality of growing older, all while weaving together personal stories, wisdom, and humor.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Nourishing Hope in a Challenging World

[02:34–13:00]

• Listener Question from Shayda: How do you raise hopeful kids given today’s constant stream of negative news? How do you, as adults, deal with your own despair?
• Kathryn stresses the importance of “nourishment” both physically (with healthy food) and mentally/emotionally (curating positive experiences and information).
  • “We talk so much about nourishing with healthy food and not junk food. And how do we protect our kids and ourselves from not drowning our minds and our spirits and our souls in the junk misinformation age?” – Mandy [04:46]
• Mandy shares strategies such as limiting exposure to harmful media, seeking out stories of helpers, and integrating historical perspective:
  • “I try and find good things to offset the horrors on a daily basis…take a really big historical view…” – Mandy [05:07]
• Gideon and his parents reflect on their family’s activism, participation in marches, and intentional affirmation of kindness as a counterbalance to darker news.
  • “I took you both to every demonstration I could…I thought that by dad and I that we were involved in trying to make the world a better place without scaring you about it.” – Mandy [07:33]
• Advice for Modern Parenting:
  • Get involved in community, not just online; volunteer and interact “physically” to foster hope and break out of digital silos.
  • “It’s a very different thing in person. And I feel, speaking for myself, and I’m a pretty social in-person person…and I’m out of practice.” – Mandy [09:58]
  • Kathryn: “Spend more time outdoors in nature, take walks, go see friends…If you have grandchildren, be with them. They teach you everything instantly about the joy of wonder and discovery.” [06:39]
• Reflecting on past generational fears (nuclear crisis, etc.) can help gain perspective.

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2. Introducing Doris Peltzman: Intergenerational Friendship

[14:35–20:33]

• Gideon recounts the serendipitous way he and Doris met through mutual friends, leading to a warm, instant friendship, highlighting how openness creates new connections.
  • “We were in the car together…had a great night and a great conversation. And now we know each other, right?” – Gideon [16:05]
• Doris describes the meeting as “bashert”—a Yiddish word for “meant to be.”
  • “This is Bersheret, right?…Sometimes you meet people and it’s meet, greet, delete…I didn’t feel that way, Gideon, with you or your family. I felt it was meet, greet, repeat.” – Doris [19:10, 20:09]
• Life Lesson: Be open to unexpected opportunities at any age.
  • “When someone comes knocking at your door, you have to open it, you have to go there, because if you don’t, you might miss a fantastic adventure.” – Doris [19:52]

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3. Secrets to a Creative Life & Creativity Across the Ages

[20:33–27:22]

• Listener Question from Luke: How do you protect your creative spark when life keeps interrupting? Does getting older make creativity harder or easier?
• Doris reflects on the challenges of making art while raising children and balancing careers.
  • “Once you have a child, it’s no longer a life about you. It’s you. You disappear and that new life…totally alters your own ego. I felt like I was on a train and there just were no stops along the way.” [21:36]
  • Now, Doris asks herself daily: “What will make you happy today? …If I’m not happy, I can’t make my family happy.” [22:49]
• Aging & Creativity: Doris believes perspective broadens with age.
  • "They say as you get older, you get wiser. I don’t know if you get wiser, but it certainly…allows you to broaden your whole entire life." – Doris [23:26]
• Kathryn reframes creativity as simply being alive, not a separate act, but integrated into daily living and work.
  • “I never think of it as creativity…I think of it as being alive…our existence has the possibility and potential of being miraculous.” [24:38]
• Mandy warns against comparing present work to past achievements; recognizes a new layer of creativity in authenticity:
  • “The worst thing I do in terms of my creativity is compare myself and my work today with what I did 25 years ago…Now I don’t have to hide behind other characters…I’m just me naked here.” [26:13]

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4. The Real Experience of Aging

[27:22–31:07]

• Gideon asks Doris what she appreciates and dislikes about how people treat her as someone in her 90s.
• Doris dislikes being underestimated due to her age or appearance, but enjoys the kindness of strangers who genuinely help.
  • “It really irritates me when people…assume that I’m not cognizant, or they assume that I’m weak and frail because I am small, or they assume that I have not a clue of what they’re speaking to me about…”
  • “I find that young people have been very gracious…if they see me struggling to open a very heavy door in the wind…they open the door or they ask if they can help…” [28:08]
• Memorable moment: Doris calls her walker her “dancing partner” – a reminder of dignity and humor at any age. [34:30]

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5. Life Advice & Final Recommendations

[32:23–33:54]

• Doris’ philosophy: “I don’t give advice. I give recommendations.” [32:47]
  • Her recommendation: “Just keep growing. Maybe that’s it. Just don’t stop…Get off that train, whatever train you’re on…Don’t stay on the same train your whole life…get off at different stations.” [33:07–33:37]

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6. Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If you build it, they will come.” – Kathryn, referencing hope and possibility. [06:39]
• “Meet, greet, repeat.” – Doris on how friendships can sometimes surprise us. [20:09]
• “Our existence has the possibility and potential of being miraculous. We’re here for just a moment and it is an amazing privilege.” – Mandy, reflecting on celebrating life instead of worrying about wasted time. [25:00]
• “I don’t give advice. I give recommendations.” – Doris, a repeated philosophy throughout. [32:47, 34:24]
• Light-hearted segment: “Would you rather…?” reveals the family’s playfulness and rapport. [34:49–38:00]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Nourishing Hope in Children: [02:34–13:00]
• Meeting Doris & Origins of Friendship: [14:35–20:33]
• Maintaining Creativity Through Life: [20:33–27:22]
• On Growing Older (Doris’ Perspective): [27:22–31:07]
• Doris’ Life Philosophy and Recommendations: [32:23–33:54]
• Would You Rather Game & Family Banter: [34:49–38:00]

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Tone & Style

The episode is deeply warm, candid, and sprinkled with humor. There’s a sense of familial chaos tethered by mutual respect and affection. Even in the silliest moments, the conversation returns to wisdom and connection—between generations, friends, and creative spirits.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode of Don’t Listen to Us is a vibrant exploration of lifelong creativity, intergenerational connection, and the power of saying yes to new experiences—no matter your age. Whether you’re raising hopeful children in turbulent times, fear you’ve lost your creative spark, or simply want to know what it feels like to live life as a 93-year-old artist, you’ll find comfort, delight, and practical inspiration in Mandy, Kathryn, Gideon, and Doris’ meandering, meaningful conversation.

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Memorable Closing:
“I don’t give advice. I give recommendations.” – Doris Peltzman [34:24]
“Just keep growing…Don’t stay on the same train your whole life…get off at different stations.” – Doris [33:07–33:37]

Transcript

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

On this episode of Don't Listen to us, our 93 year old friend shares the secret to a creative life. It's pretty special to get to be in your 90s. Not everybody gets to do that. I'm curious, what's a piece of life advice that you'd give to someone out there listening who's in their 20s or 30s or 70s?

[Doris Peltzman]

70s advice.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I'm curious. Yeah. From your vantage point?

[Doris Peltzman]

Well, I tell my sons and my family I don't give advice. I give recommendations.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's great.

[Kathryn Grody]

Well done.

[Doris Peltzman]

I love that.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What would be your recommendation? Do you know where Mandy went?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Can you please get him back? Because I've never longed for him so much.

[Kathryn Grody]

He's inside my mouth.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I miss him. Can you bring him back?

[Kathryn Grody]

I can see if he can say hi. Would I even say hi?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

It's kind of terrifying. It's kind of fascinating.

[Kathryn Grody]

Would you like to say.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Would you like to say hi? No, I just want you to go back, please. As soon as.

[Kathryn Grody]

If you're out there, come and say hi.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

He's emerging. There's some sort of transformation happening. They seem to be in limbo. Mandy. Mandy is stuck inside. Strange. Mandy. He's trapped.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Oh, please.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Catherine is about to quit the podcast.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I am. This is it. I can't.

[Kathryn Grody]

Oh, here I am.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Wow. Wow.

[Kathryn Grody]

What happened really was hard.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What happened?

[Kathryn Grody]

I don't know. First this guy comes by.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

And he wants to sit down. What are you doing? I said we're busy. Then he swallows me.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Wow.

[Kathryn Grody]

Then he starts, like, just annoying me. I was itching.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Have you had a reaction? Swallowed by a whole person?

[Kathryn Grody]

I have never. I can't talk about that.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And what was it like inside that? Strange.

[Kathryn Grody]

It was. It wasn't like the whale story.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

It. It wasn't like gooey and, you know, I didn't like, see other creatures.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Sure.

[Kathryn Grody]

But I did have an allergic reaction.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, I'm so glad you're back. We're going to our first listener question today. Our first question is from Shayda. No headphones. S H E Y D A. And mom, if you could read Shayda's email for us.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Hi, Mandy, Catherine and Gideon. I adore you all and find so much nourishment in your posts. And now the podcast I literally listen to while I cook for my family. So they're getting nourishment too. That's such a nice word. Speaking of my family, here's my question. As parents, you seem to have found a way to, in the poet Maggie Smith's words, teach your Children that this place could be beautiful. I love Maggie Smith, even though it looks like a real shithole. I think about that poem so often these days as my 11 year old is becoming more aware of the world around her. Hearing about all the awfulness happening, hearing yes, about the people, perfidious president's every stupid move. I think about how to keep her in love with humanity. I point to the helpers as Mr. Rogers told us to. But the kid is smart and aware and she's living in America in 2025. For every helper, she also sees someone trying to imprison a helper or mock a helper. You get the point. How so? How do you raise kids with hope and faith in the future while also remaining truthful about the challenges we face? How do you manage your own feelings of despair? Because as we know, children will listen to our words, they will listen to our rage. How did you find that balance with your own kids? And how do you imagine you might approach that challenge now that every kid has access to constant information and misinformation overload? Thanks for all your goodness and your honesty, Shaida. Well, Shaida, as you can see, I'm very moved by your beautiful letter and your observations and I love the word you use, nourishment. How do we. We talk so much about nourishing sort of practically with healthy food and not junk food. And how do we protect our kids and ourselves from not drowning our minds and our spirits and our souls in the junk misinformation age, you know, and

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

the real fear of what's happening.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And the real fear. Right, the real fear of what's happening. I'm obsessed with this and I feel so lucky. I had it easier than you did, Shayda, that's for sure. I raised my kids when the worst thing was just TV and bad video games. But even then I really thought I wouldn't let Gideon watch more Moral Combat because I thought it was a World War three preparatory game and all the other parents thought I was nuts. He probably snuck it anyway, but I was glad he knew that I thought he was viewing something that desensitized him. I think what you do is, first of all, it's your behavior. Children will listen. So be aware of what you talk about and don't talk about around your kids. An 11 year old is pretty sophisticated at this point. I try and find good things to offset the horrors on a daily basis. I look at Jessica Cravens who points out and gives me a list of all the wins in court, of all the People fighting back of all the people helping their neighbors, of all the wins electorally. So on that platform, I try and get good news and I try and I try to see beauty the day, enjoying the day, and take a really big historical view. I'm watching the American Revolution right now, learning lots of things. This particular moment is really hard, but we've lived through other moments as a country and as people. I've been through hard times personally, and they have passed and things have gotten better. So that's all, I think. You monitor what your kid is listening. You point out the good stuff and help her deal with a perspective of the bad. That's. That's sort of what I can think of right now.

[Kathryn Grody]

I love that Kevin Costner movie. I just remember the line, if you build it, they will come. And so I would avoid looking at the news on your phone or on your television or listening to it. Certainly you'll scan it or you'll. What's it called when you flick through it? Scroll, scroll it. And you'll see something that you need to read. So read it. But spend more time outdoors in nature, take walks, go see friends. If you have grandchildren, be with them. They teach you everything instantly about the joy of wonder and discovery.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Did you guys ever feel like you had to protect your kids from the darkness of the world? Or were you pretty open about what we were getting exposed to as kids or with politics or, like, did you have a strategy or different feelings about approaching that as parents or.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, I mean, I really wanted you to be aware of the whole concept of tikin olam giving back, repairing the world. Takin olam giving back, repairing the world. Being good and kind and thoughtful and aware kids was really important to me. So whenever I saw you behaving that way, I was always very big on affirming it, telling you how proud I was of you. And I took you both to every demonstration I could. I took you to the Million Moms March. You know, I showed you. I thought that by dad and I that we were involved in trying to make the world a better place without scaring you about it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah, I mean, I have memories of being involved with that stuff or going to events with organizations fighting gun violence or going to marches against war. And it feeling not scary to engage in those ways because often those are. They can be intense environments, but also joyful. It's people uniting and gathering in a shared cause to, you know, make the world a better place. I mean, something that comes up to me that I wish we'd done More of growing up. And that I think we could still do more of as a family and with grandkids. And everything is like. So many of these conversations are happening in the digital space, happening on your podcast or your social media, the news you're reading. I think getting out of reading and hearing and clicking about stuff and finding a place in your community where you are volunteering for an immigrant rights group, you are volunteering for a soup kitchen, a food pantry, you're doing something physically where you're interacting with other people, I think is kind of a big part of our chance and hope to get out of these digital silos. And I think it can be easy to feel like you are participating and fighting back and contributing just digitally.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I think that is so important. And we're out of practice doing that because it's so easy to feel you have a digital relationship by supporting or talking or sharing. It's a very different thing in person. And I feel, speaking for myself, and I'm a pretty social in person person.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And I'm at a practice.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And I'm not saying you guys don't, you know, you. You know, I feel you guys have been incredibly generous and have imbued that spirit in your family and have committed tons of hours and efforts and concerts and raised millions of dollars for organizations. I'm just talking about as. As a family, the difference in talking about things and seeing them on the computer versus getting out into the world. But one other. Be with these people.

[Kathryn Grody]

Touch their hands. Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Just find various friends. It's all kinds of people.

[Kathryn Grody]

It's like people like doctors, they don't even touch you when they examine you anymore. And then you go to a doctor that touches you and you're like, oh, my God, that was incredible. Put his hands on my kid. Put his hands on me. Felt me. And you're in shock. That's how it used to be. Touch people. Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You know, sounded a little weird, that sentence. The doctor put his hands on me. He touched me. I was in shock. You have to touch.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Well, it's actually true. They use machines.

[Kathryn Grody]

Are you still in therapy? Don't cancel. But I have a question.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

When you guys were kids, you know, there was also darkness and fear. You were afraid of, you know, missile crisis. I mean, nuclear war. You did exercises in school under the desk.

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, I remember they sent us all home in the Cuban missile crisis. From high school. I had just driven, I think, my first time driving, you know, a car to high school. And we were all sent home so we could be with our families when we die. I think that's a really important point that I want to share with Shaida. I think history, they're not teaching it very well in school. I was not taught a lot of history that I'm catching up on, and I really think it's helpful. Your kid is 11, Shada. She he can know about the historical perspective is really helping me at this point. I listen to Heather Cox Richardson. I read her. It helps me to know that in 1865 this horrible thing happened. Do you know? And to get a perspective.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

This is a lot of. This is circuitous and you can also

[Mandy Patinkin]

get out of it and it reminds you of hey, Voting Rights Act, 1965. Ouch. Sorry. I just hit the microphone and said ouch. That was very.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Did it hurt?

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, I was afraid I hurt the microphone that it had. I have a thing with inanimate objects having feelings. But anyway, I think history is helpful that you look at this dark time which we've overcome, what we've learned, what we haven't learned, what we're still trying to learn so that you have some perspective that this isn't the absolute worst moment ever.

[Kathryn Grody]

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[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Mom and dad, please put your headphones on. So recently I made a new friend.

[Kathryn Grody]

You made a new friend?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yep. And we talk a lot about friendship on this show and get many questions about how hard it is to make friends. I feel very lucky to have encountered an extraordinary person. Many moments of serendipity brought her into our lives, and I'd like to bring her on to help us with a question. Please say hello to Doris Peltzman.

[Kathryn Grody]

Hey, Doris, how are you?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Welcome, Doris.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Hi.

[Doris Peltzman]

So good to be in your presence again.

[Kathryn Grody]

It's wonderful to see you.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for joining us on this.

[Kathryn Grody]

Are you in your art studio?

[Doris Peltzman]

No, I'm in my home. My art studio is in a state of disaster now because I'm moving to a larger studio.

[Kathryn Grody]

That's for a good reason.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Let me just introduce you, Doris, for our listeners. Doris Peltzman is an artist, a former principal with a PhD in education. And Doris is turning 93 years old tomorrow.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Oh, my God.

[Kathryn Grody]

Happy birthday.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Happy birthday.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thank you. And Doris, where are we reaching you today?

[Doris Peltzman]

In my condo in Philadelphia.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

In Philadelphia. And I just want to tell folks the story of how we met real quick. And then you can add to it to make it better.

[Doris Peltzman]

Okay, I hope.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Here's what I remember. I was going down to see my mom's show, the Unexpected Third, in Malvern, Pennsylvania, and I was in Philadelphia. The show was all sold out and I had an extra spare ticket the following night. And I said to my friends Rocky and Jenna, I said, hey, do you know anybody in town who might appreciate an extra ticket? And they lit up and they said, doris. I said, who's Doris? They said, we met her a couple days ago. We wandered into her art studio. She's a beautiful painter and she's in her 90s. And we started talking about stuff and had a great philosophical conversation. And we think she loved that show. So we called you up. It was a very confusing, out of the blue offer. I said I would drive to your condo, pick you up, drive you an hour to the theater, drive you home. And the next thing we knew, we were in the car together and I was talking to, I think your daughter in law, trying to make sure she knew I was not kidnapping you or some scammer. And then we went to my mom's show and had a great night and a great conversation. And now we know each other, right?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I think I bent down to kiss your hand or your feet. Or something. Then had a little trouble getting up, but not too bad after your show.

[Doris Peltzman]

Well, I'm kind of small, and I remember you gave me a very warming hug and I felt like I knew you all my life.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, that was a wonderful feeling. That was such a great surprise.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What do you remember from that evening in our adventure, Doris?

[Doris Peltzman]

I remember when I met you, Gideon, that I felt I had always known you. And you reminded me, and I believe we talked about that. You reminded me very much of one of my grandsons because he's like your counterpart. You're like bookends in your humanity and ease of conversation and interests and creativity. And it was just this. I felt I was out with a friend that I had known for years.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Me, too. My friend that took about five minutes to get there.

[Doris Peltzman]

That's right. That's right.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Doris, were you. Does this happen often? Do you feel that you are seen by younger people? You had this experience with Gideon inviting you someplace. Do you feel that is what happens to you a lot, or is it very unusual?

[Doris Peltzman]

It's not unusual, but I think this situation, this particular experience was very, very unusual. And there were just so many similarities and such serendipity that I believe. Gideon, I said to you, this is Bersheart, right? I felt it was Bashir. You know, sometimes you meet people and it's meet, greet, delete,

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

share. What bashert means for non Yiddish.

[Doris Peltzman]

Yes. Bershert is a Hebrew word that means meant to be. Something is just meant to happen. Meant to be. Meant to make it connection, Right? I guess.

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, I love that you felt that. And I love that you were so open to that adventure, Doris, which I think is a really good example for people. Do you know, of any age to be open to the unexpected and what comes through your door that you weren't anticipating, but just to be open to something new? Yes.

[Doris Peltzman]

And in my later chapters of my life, I realize now especially that when someone comes knocking at your door, you have to open it, you have to go there, because if you don't, you might miss a fantastic adventure. Yeah, but I want to back up a minute because I felt, you know, when I said, meet, greet, delete, I didn't feel that way, Gideon, with you or your family. I felt it was meet, greet, repeat.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I love that, Doris. We felt the same way. Felt the same way. We got a question that made us think of you, and I wanted to share it and see what you guys all thought of it. This is from Luke. He wrote, hi, Mandy, Catherine and Gideon. And I'm sure. Doris, Doris, he just didn't know at the time. My question is short but not simple. How do you protect your creative spark when life keeps interrupting? And does getting older make creativity harder or easier? Thank you both for inspiring my creativity. Doris, you're an artist and still working in painting. How do you keep making art when you're working and raising children? Or do you have any advice for people about protecting the creative side of yourself?

[Mandy Patinkin]

And how has it been impacted by the age you are now than when you first picked up a paintbrush?

[Doris Peltzman]

Wow, that's a big question. And for the first part of the question, today is not yesterday. So when I was younger, how did I keep creativity in my life? It was difficult. It was difficult because I felt, in retrospect, it's as if I had jumped on a train. Once you have a child, it's no longer a life about you. It's you. You disappear and that new life, or I was lucky enough to have two sons, as you have totally alters your own ego. I felt like I was on a train and there just were no stops along the way. You just hop on that train and you're a wife, and then you know it, you're a mother, and then you're maybe back in your profession. So there was no getting off that treadmill or that train. Now, how do I fit it in? It's very easy. I just say to myself, doris, what will make you happy today? And if I'm not happy, I can't make my family happy. So call it selfish, call it ego, call it whatever I try to do or be in a place that brings me some kind of joy, some kind of joy into my life.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Do you feel your creativity is different now than when you were younger?

[Doris Peltzman]

Yes. Yes, I guess I do, because I see things differently. I have more peripheral vision. They say as you get older, you get wiser. I don't know if you get wiser, but it's certainly, if you allow, allows you to broaden your whole entire life. So I think. I think there is a difference. There is a difference.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What about you, mom and dad? Do you feel your creativity has changed throughout the years in a way you can track? I mean, dad, you're the baby of the group at 74.

[Kathryn Grody]

73.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I thought you just turned 74.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I just turned 73. Hello.

[Kathryn Grody]

Hello.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You're the baby of the group at 73.

[Kathryn Grody]

You need to improve your peripheral vision. That's right.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What about your creativity? Do you feel that you felt it's changed within you as you've gotten older or you've done more projects or have you felt like that kind of process of creating things or having ideas has stayed kind of the same throughout the years.

[Kathryn Grody]

I never think of it as creativity. I never think of it as a creative act. I think of it as being alive. I wake up, I need to learn a song. I wake up, I've got to learn some words for a job. I wake up, I've got to go take my grandson somewhere.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

But you have ideas of how songs flow together. You have ideas for projects. What if we link this here and did that there? That would be interesting.

[Kathryn Grody]

That's called work to me. That's. I go to work and I sit with my piano player and we look at endless lists of 13 hours worth of songs and lyrics and stories. I like songs that are all about stories. And I go to work and we work for three, four hours a day. And at the end of X amount of days, we have a new song cycle which I call a show. And that's the kind of job I take. I'm not a brain surgeon or a heart surgeon, but I've been in 17 open heart surgeries. That was one of the most creative things I've ever witnessed. It's miraculous what they're doing. And I think all of us need to recognize that our existence has the possibility and potential of being miraculous. We're here for just a moment and it is an amazing privilege. And we waste so much of that privilege by worrying that we've wasted it as opposed to celebrating what we've done. I'm speaking to myself, Mandy. Are you listening to yourself? Are you hearing what you're saying? Can you please try to do more of what you're saying?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's great advice to yourself.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah, if I could hear it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What about you, Ma? Have you felt your creativity?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I think the worst thing I do in terms of my creativity, Doris, is compare myself and my work today with what I did 25 years ago. If I start going down that routine, you know, when I first did a solo show, I played myself. I played my 7 year old, I played my 3 year old and another one, I played everybody and all these characters and walked and talked differently. And I thought that was sort of the height of an actor's life, you know, and craft. And there were times with the unexpected third, I would go, God, I'm just. I'm just being me. That's not as creative, that's not as good. And then there were other times I thought, no, it's actually a growth because now I don't have to hide behind other characters and other people. I'm just me naked here. I am, you know, as naked as I'm gonna be soulfully out there. And that is a different kind of creativity. Do you know,

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Doris, I had two. Two other questions I wanted to ask you, if it's okay.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Sure.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

One was it's. It's pretty special to get to be in your 90s. Not everybody gets to do that. You've had. You share with me that you have a bunch of family members that made it to their 90s and beyond. So you've got great genes, clearly working for you. But I'm curious, what's a thing that you enjoy about the way people treat you being in your 90s? And the thing that is irritating about the way people treat you?

[Doris Peltzman]

Great questions.

[Kathryn Grody]

Great questions. Question.

[Doris Peltzman]

It is a great question.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

First, a good, good thing. Yeah.

[Doris Peltzman]

It really irritates me when people look at me and kind of count the years on my face or the lines on my face or whatever. And they assume. And you know what the word assume really means?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Trouble.

[Doris Peltzman]

They assume that I'm not cognizant, or they assume that I'm weak and frail because I am small, or they assume that I have not a clue of what they're speaking to me about. Those things truly upset me. And the things that I find are lovely. And I just kind of fell on this recently because where I live in Philadelphia, it's the oldest part of Philadelphia, so there are many cobblestone streets. So when I go out in Philadelphia for a walk or to the store or whatever, I use a walker. When I'm in my home, I use nothing. If I'm going to a family celebration to keep my family happy, I take a cane just to assure them. But I find that young people have been very gracious. And if they see me struggling to open a very heavy door in the wind, they. And they open the door or they ask if they can help. And the other day I was coming home from a store and I had my flowers, which I keep regularly around me because not only do I love to paint them, I love to look at them, I love to smell them. I have to have them just like music.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I have to.

[Doris Peltzman]

It has to be part of my soul, part of my everyday life. So I was carrying home on my walker two bags with groceries and a bouquet of flowers, and the wind grabbed me. I live sort of in a wind tunnel entrance and pulled all the packages off of my little dancing partner. And there go the flowers. And there was a young man walking by, and he didn't even ask, could I help you? He just came over and was so gracious and things like that I love.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, yeah. I've always believed that people, by their nature, by our nature as humans, if you saw somebody fall in front of you, the instinct for most people would be to help somebody up unless there was a weapon at their head preventing them from doing that. And even then, some people still help

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

people up, you know, I had an interesting experience recently. I was down on Riverside by the water in the Riverside park, and a skateboarder had broken his leg or blown out his knee, and his friend was carrying him up a steep flight of stairs on his back. And I jumped in, I said, hey, do you need help getting up? Because there's like 20 flights of stairs to get onto Riverside Drive from the bottom of Riverside Park. And they said, yeah. And two out of the three guys didn't speak English and they only spoke Spanish. I did my best with my Spanish. And people were coming by saying, call the, Call the cops because the ambulance will come help you. And they didn't want to call the ambulance because they were afraid of ICE or immigration. So it was a wild, a little wild moment of just that kind of help when you just see somebody in need of it. With also just kind of the fear of what everyone's going through.

[Mandy Patinkin]

People seem quite surprised at these little interactions that are civil with strangers in a community, you know, And I think the more accidents like that, the more we remember to practice being that part of being in a community is just stranger related, you know?

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Before we go, I just want to ask. This show is about coming together, sharing advice and wisdom and experiences, and you're talking about connecting to folks. I'm curious, what's a piece of life advice that you'd give to someone out there listening who's in their 20s or

[Kathryn Grody]

30s or 70s or 70s advice?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I'm curious. Yeah. From your vantage point?

[Doris Peltzman]

Well, I tell my sons and my family, I don't give advice. I give recommendations.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's great.

[Kathryn Grody]

Well done.

[Doris Peltzman]

I love that.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What would be your recommendation?

[Doris Peltzman]

I think just keep growing. Maybe that's it. Just don't stop. Just get off that train, whatever train you're on, where you just feel propelled to go from one thing to the next. Just take the train, don't take the train.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Don't stay on the same train your whole life in the same seat or

[Doris Peltzman]

get off at different stations.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, exactly.

[Doris Peltzman]

I love that. And just Connecting with the both of you and with Gideon. Gideon, you especially have touched my heart.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Likewise. Likewise, my friend.

[Doris Peltzman]

And this was a wonderful experience.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah. And so it continues.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thank you. Thank you so much for being a part of making this with us. Thanks to your son for helping out over there with the. The technical bits. And I will see you in. In Philadelphia, too, next time I come down to visit friends.

[Doris Peltzman]

Definitely.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Take care. Thank you, Doris. See you soon. Until. Bye.

[Doris Peltzman]

Bye.

[Kathryn Grody]

Bye.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Bye.

[Kathryn Grody]

Be well.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I don't give advice. I give recommendations.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Recommendations.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's great.

[Mandy Patinkin]

She's really great.

[Kathryn Grody]

I love that she calls her walker her dancing partner.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Her dancing partner was so great.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And I love that she brings her cane just as a kindness to her children. Children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Okay, we're at our hang time segment, and our game today is called would you'd rather.

[Kathryn Grody]

I thought we hang time at the beginning.

[Mandy Patinkin]

That was the other segment. Oh.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

We hang time all over the place, depending on other stuff.

[Kathryn Grody]

We just hung with Doris.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's right. The whole show is really hang time.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah, it's a good title.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay, so this one's called.

[Kathryn Grody]

Would you rather.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Don't overthink it. Just choose quickly. Okay. Would you rather live inside a beautiful house with an ugly view or an ugly house with a beautiful view?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Ugly house with a beautiful view.

[Kathryn Grody]

Ugly house. Beautiful view.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Would you rather be perpetually itchy or perpetually sneezy?

[Kathryn Grody]

Sneezy.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Sneezy. Okay.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Would you rather show up to a party overdressed or underdressed?

[Kathryn Grody]

Overdressed, because you can shed clothing.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, overdress. Okay, that's good, but that's very funny, honey, because you're never overdressed.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You guys are aligned on these.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, I know.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

First time I've heard you agree on it.

[Kathryn Grody]

I wish it was a marriage show and we could win some furniture.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh, yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

Kitchen sink. Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You can win that chair you're sitting in.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay. Would you rather have peanut butter constantly coming out of your ears or feed feet made out of chocolate?

[Kathryn Grody]

Feet made out of chocolate.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Why?

[Kathryn Grody]

Because I would suck mom's toes to my heart's desire as long as they were dark chocolate toes.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Wait, this is your own body?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah. Your own body.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You'd suck your own toes.

[Kathryn Grody]

I'd suck my fingers because I don't want to hurt my back. Suck my toes.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Your hands aren't made out of chocolate. Your feet are made out of chocolate.

[Mandy Patinkin]

All right, this is.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, I just need to be clear. Would you rather have peanut butter coming out of your ears constantly?

[Kathryn Grody]

Yes. No. I Don't want to.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Or feet made out of chocolate.

[Kathryn Grody]

Feet made out of chocolate.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay, Mom.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Feet made out of chocolate.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Are you not concerned about walking around?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, I am, but I'm just thinking of peanut butter leaking from my ears and getting over everything.

[Kathryn Grody]

You go to Trader Joe's and you buy one of those dark chocolate bars, you know, 80% or 70 some percent, you can't break it. You can't break a square. You know, it's divided. Good luck. Bring a saw.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So that's the kind of chocolate foot you have?

[Kathryn Grody]

Well, that's the kind of chocolate I pull my feet out of the.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Would you rather have very heavy elbows or floaty knees filled with helium?

[Kathryn Grody]

Heavy elbows, floating knees. Floating knees filled with healing? Floating knees filled with healing.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

No question.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Nobody else but you could come up with these. What would you rather get?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Would you rather have two noses or three eyes?

[Kathryn Grody]

Three eyes.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Three eyes.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

That smells. Not a big deal to me. Well, I mean, matter of fact, if something smells bad, I'd like not to smell it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What if something looks bad? Would you like not to see it?

[Kathryn Grody]

Nope. I. I look at things that are hard to look at all the time

[Mandy Patinkin]

and it gives you more perspective.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay. More perspective.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay. Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Nice.

[Kathryn Grody]

Wow.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Did you guys agree on all what happened? Okay, last one. Would you rather end this episode now or keep going for another two hours?

[Kathryn Grody]

End it soon. Not now, but soon.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Not three hours.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah, you know what? Now.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay. Goodbye, everybody.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

It's a short one.

[Kathryn Grody]

You're with me on that, aren't you?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm not.

[Kathryn Grody]

You want two, three more hours?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, not two. Three. No. That's the only choice.

[Mandy Patinkin]

That's the.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Would you rather end this episode now? I keep going for two hours.

[Mandy Patinkin]

This is the end of the episode.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

This is my creative way of ending the episode.

[Mandy Patinkin]

End the episode.

[Kathryn Grody]

Help the man out, will you?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay. Great way to end a kid.

[Kathryn Grody]

If people are screaming at home, you can hear them, you know. What's that thing in network? You know?

[Doris Peltzman]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I've had. I'm not gonna take it.

[Kathryn Grody]

I'm not gonna take it anymore.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What is it?

[Kathryn Grody]

What is it? What is that whole phrase?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You know, Ryan, I'm mad as far as.

[Kathryn Grody]

I'm not gonna take it. I'm not gonna take it anymore.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay. I just want to say out there, if there's any illustrators or animators, and you want to draw a picture of my parents living inside an ugly house with a beautiful view, being perpetually itchy, overdressed, with chocolate feet and floaty knees with three eyes. We totally welcome that. And if you get in touch in the email, we can.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'd be very curious to see.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

We'd love to see that.

[Kathryn Grody]

Or a needlepoint of the same nature.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yes, yes. All needle points. Welcome. Thanks everybody for tuning in. We want to hear from you more questions, stories, advice for us, advice for your pets, pet communicators, recipes, dreams, riddles,

[Kathryn Grody]

poems, and it's almost Mandy's nap time.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's right.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yes, it's almost time.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

If you have any of that, you can send an email to askmandyandkatherinemail.com or check out our socials. Is Mandy sleeping? Of course. Check out our socials for an easy way to send us a voice note. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on your podcast app if you're enjoying this thing. That's Becky. That's her review. If you aren't enjoying it, you probably don't want to waste your time leaving a review. Because life is short, right?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, life is short.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thanks for being here. And please remember, Don't Listen to Us

[Mandy Patinkin]

Don't Listen to Us.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Don't Listen to Us is a Lemonada Media original hosted by Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody and Gideon Grody Patinkin. Created by Katrina Onstad, Debbie Pacheco and Gideon Grody Patinkin. Executive producers are Kathryn Grody, Gideon Grody Pitinkin, Mandy Patinkin, Katrina Onstadt, Debbie Pacheco, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittles Wax. Our engineer is Ryan Derringer of Welterweight Sound, video and audio production by Mark Whiteway of Bellows Media. You can watch on CNN.com watch or the CNN app. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Media Premium yet, now's the perfect time. You can hear Don't Listen to Us completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like behind the scenes conversations, questions so weird they didn't make it on air, Becky the Dog shenanigans and more. Just tap the subscribe button on Apple podcasts. Head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe on any other app or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. That's lemonadapremium.com don't miss out.