Podcast Summary

Podcast: Don't Listen To Us with Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody
Episode: “Friendship, Flip Phones, and the Best Dog Ever”
Date: November 5, 2025
Host: Lemonada Media

Episode Overview

This episode brings together Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody, and their son Gideon for a warm, unscripted conversation about friendship—how hard it can be to make and keep friends as you get older, the tricks (and struggles) of staying open to connection, the challenges of technology in a hyperconnected world, and, as always, the chaos and comfort of family life (with canine star Becky making appearances). They field real listener questions, dive into their own dynamics, and share honest, often funny, sometimes tearful perspectives on connecting and living meaningfully.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Family Dynamic and Setting the Tone

• Gideon opens by poking fun at Mandy’s claim he “never gets his way” in arguments. Kathryn disputes this, setting up the playfully argumentative family tone.
  • [00:28] Mandy: “Zero.”
  • [00:40] Kathryn: “60% at least, if not 70.”
• Kathryn comes prepared with pages of notes, to Mandy’s bemused nothing. This leads to discussion about memories, the role of photographs, and how remembering has changed.
  • [02:24] Kathryn: “What would our memories be without photographs? Do you think people remembered better before they were invented? ...they had to tell stories about events...”

2. Small Joys Amid Chaos

• Kathryn reflects on the importance of “starting each day with joy and beauty,” despite the world “falling apart.” She takes pleasure in the fragrance of gardenias, practicing seeking pleasure even when it feels forced.
  • [03:59] Kathryn: “It’s really hard to do that in...the world falling apart. But somebody gave me a gardenia bush and the gardenias are so delicious... It’s a beautiful fragrance.”
• Comic relief: The group derails briefly when Becky, the dog, licks herself on camera, with Mandy joking “not often enough.” This signals the easy, familial banter that runs through the show.

3. Listener Question 1: Making Adult Friends (Suzanne from Baltimore)

[06:13]
Suzanne and her husband are near retirement, but lack friends after years of focusing on kids and work. She asks for advice on seeking and making like-minded friends as adults.

Kathryn’s Approach: Be Brave and Direct

• Friends are "my oxygen."

• She shares how she invited a waitress with a young child over for a playdate—meeting people through genuine, small interactions.

  • [08:32] Kathryn: “Part of it is I have the excuse that I have a three and a half year old grandchild... I just said, would you like to come over?”

• Advice for the shy: Acknowledge the awkwardness, invite anyway, and be open to rejection.

  • [09:21] Kathryn: “Maybe acknowledge that it’s awkward and uncomfortable...just say, hi... Would you like to have tea?”

• Kathryn emphasizes that lots of people are “starving” for connection, especially post-pandemic, and chances are you’re not the only one.

Mandy’s Approach: The Happenstance Theory

• Mandy advocates “not looking” for friends; believes new connections happen naturally as you go through life.

  • [10:13] Mandy: “Don’t look to make new connections. Just go about your business… you bump into somebody when you’re not looking for it. If you’re looking for it, it’s not going to be easy.”

• He adds: Get a dog—walking a dog naturally creates opportunities to meet people.

Gideon's Take/Moderation

• Observes that many older men have fewer friends and that men often depend on women to expand their social circles.

  • [11:05] Gideon: “Most of your friends have been through your wife...particularly with dads, particularly with, like, men over 50.”

• Notes both generational and gendered angles to making and keeping friends, but also affirms modern men like himself and his brother find it easier than their dad.

Honest Talk: Friendship Takes Work

• Mandy admits he’s bad at sustaining friendships, often letting effort lapse after first connection.

  • [12:36] Mandy: “I meet some guy and I want to hang out...And then I never make an effort again. Almost never again.”

• Shares regret over not repeating fun experiences, attributing it partly to the busyness of work but also his own failings—ultimately grading himself a “D minus” at friendship.

  • [14:17] Mandy: “Alright, I’ll give myself a D minus… Mrs. Chlorophyne in English...gave me a D minus. And that’s how come I passed and I graduated.”

• Kathryn sums up: “Friendship takes a lot of work. Yes, it does. Continuously also.” (14:54)

• Mandy becomes emotional, describing the relief and joy after finally reconnecting with an old friend (pushed by Kathryn).

  • [16:43] Mandy: “I was in tears. I was so moved...I love her so much...that visit meant the world.”

• Mandy reveals anxiety around making plans—worries it won’t work out or that he can’t escape an awkward situation. Fears rejection and the discomfort of letting someone down.

  • [17:43] Mandy: “If I make the effort to reach out...while I’m reaching out it’s going south and the other person wants it...sometimes I can’t find a graceful way to get out...I feel guilty.”
  • [19:38] Mandy’s final advice: “Don’t listen to me. Listen to Catherine and don’t be like me. Be like Catherine.”

4. Listener Question 2: What Do You Miss Doing? (with live caller Imani)

[23:38]
Imani, a young writer, asks the panel: What is something you no longer do that you miss, and why did you stop? For her, it’s daydreaming—lost to the omnipresence of screens.

Kathryn on Daydreaming and Gathering

• Recalls writer Anna Quindlen, who linked creativity to daydreaming; grieves that technology “has taken away a fantastic part of our humanness.”
  • [24:51] Kathryn: “We’ve been programmed, with all the technology...with taking away a fantastic aspect of our humanness, which is daydreaming.”
• Misses spontaneous in-person gatherings—lost to Covid and screens.

Imani on Losing Imagination

• Now a TV/film writing student, confirms that constant connectivity kills creativity.
  • [26:22] Imani: “I was much more creative when I was younger.”

Mandy on Practicing Imagination

• Mandy describes how he leaves his phone in his trailer while filming, using the enforced unplugging to rekindle imagination and daydreaming.

  • [28:35] Mandy: “What would happen if you didn’t [pick up your phone]? What I started doing...was I started leaving my phone...in my trailer.”

• Encourages Imani to get a typewriter or use paper, make dramatic changes, and “just write” with no agenda—even nonsense, just for the joy of imagination.

  • [29:38] Mandy: “Go out and buy an old fashioned typewriter...Make a dramatic change...and just write and use your imagination, which is really daydream.”

• Playful advice: Make up words if you have to—“I feel like I’m gesigunivend....I want to feel flabbesimten...my friends are Flavasaviddin...Make it up, make it all up and get back to the thing that you miss the most.”

Inspiration and Commitments

• Mandy is moved by Imani’s question and says he’ll get a flip phone, inspired to further limit screen usage.

  • [31:17] Mandy: “I’m going to get a flip...put this thing away...”

• Imani describes her poetry book “Soul and Hands,” and the desire for community beyond screens.

• Mandy is deeply touched by the conversation:

  • [34:00] Mandy: “You really just made me peaceful. And I’ve often said...the only thing I long for in my life is peace.”
  • Kathryn: “I just love your thinking about this in the world that you live in...you are looking for what you need as a creative person, even if it goes against the dominant way of communicating.” [35:08]

5. Hang Time: The Best Dog Ever—Becky

[38:33]

• The family discusses their beloved (and needy) dog Becky.

  • [38:45] All: “Becky!”

• Lighthearted rehash of how Mandy “needed” a dog after their previous, older family dogs passed. Kathryn’s conditions for a “small, non-shedding” dog were hilariously ignored—the result is a 94-pound, six-foot, half Great Pyrenees-half yellow lab who sheds everywhere but stole their hearts by jumping straight into Kathryn’s arms at the shelter.

  • [41:04] Kathryn: “I ended up with a 94 pound...half Great Pyrenee, half yellow lab, and I will be covered in white fur the rest of my life...I do love the dog.”

• Sweet, messy, silly story (“If it floods and excavates the bones, I want to build something out of the bones” - Gideon, [39:43]).

• Kathryn admits “I must say, I do love the dog,” showing the grudging affection the dog has inspired.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Katherine, on seeking friends:
  “I think people are starving. I don’t think you’re the only one that is looking for new connections.” [09:56]
• Mandy, on friendship work:
  “I meet some guy and I want to hang out...and then I never make an effort again. Almost never again.” [12:36]
• Mandy, on anticipation and anxiety:
  “His anticipation is anxiety...and then once he does it, he’s fabulous.” - Kathryn, on Mandy [17:19]
• Mandy, on daydreaming:
  “I live in my imagination. That is my reality. I love my imagination and the life it creates. ...I love my imagination.” [29:11]
• Mandy, on peace:
  “The only thing I long for in my life is peace. ...You made me feel peaceful and you gave me a little food to keep up the fight.” [34:00]
• Kathryn, encouraging Imani:
  “I just encourage you in every way to listen to that grow and listen to yourself.” [35:08]
• Dog antics:
  “I told dad I’d agree to a dog if it was small enough to fit in his lap and not embarrass him...I ended up with a 94-pound...half Great Pyrenee, half yellow lab...” [40:52]
• Playfulness/shutdown lines:
  “That’s all, folks.” – Gideon [41:56]
  “Oh, oh, you can’t use Warner Brothers.” – Mandy [41:58]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:28] - Family banter: Who gets their way? Parental dynamics.
• [02:24] - Kathryn’s musings: Memories, photographs, and storytelling.
• [03:59] - “Joy and beauty” in daily life.
• [06:13] - Listener Question 1: Making adult friends.
• [08:32] - Kathryn’s story: How to pick up a new friend.
• [10:13] - Mandy’s “happenstance” take on friendships.
• [12:36] - Mandy’s struggle to maintain friendships.
• [16:43] - Mandy’s emotional account: Old friend visits and joy.
• [17:43] - Mandy’s anxiety around social efforts.
• [23:38] - Listener Question 2 (Imani): What do you miss? Daydreaming and imagination.
• [28:35] - Mandy’s practice: Leaving the phone, embracing his imagination.
• [31:17] - Mandy vows to get a flip phone.
• [32:54] - Imani’s poetry book, and the collective longing for community.
• [34:00] - Mandy: On peace—inner and outer.
• [38:33] - Dog segment: The tale of Becky.
• [40:52] - Kathryn’s conditions (and what she actually got) in a dog.

Takeaways for Listeners

• Making adult friends is tough, uncertain, and full of vulnerability—but also possible, and rewarding. Take little risks, even if it’s awkward. Most people crave connection more than they let on.
• Friendship is work—even for the most gregarious, maintaining connections takes intention and effort (and perhaps a push from a spouse or a dog).
• Technology and modern life have eroded daydreaming and imagination; unplugging, writing by hand, and outdoor walks can rekindle creative joy.
• Finding peace (internally and externally) is a universal longing—even for someone as successful as Mandy Patinkin.
• Dogs are chaos and comfort—and often not what you expect, but exactly what you love.

Tone & Style

The episode is funny, raw, meandering, and full of affectionate ribbing. The family is constantly veering off topic, poking at each other’s hang-ups but also supporting, challenging, and loving each other through vulnerability. There’s an undercurrent of melancholy—especially around loneliness and the hard work of connecting—but also plenty of encouragement, warmth, and hope.

For New Listeners

You’ll get practical advice, stories you’ll want to repeat, and a big dose of heart—plus, if you’re struggling with friendship or finding your creative spark, you’re absolutely not alone. And if you need a reason to smile: just picture Becky the 94-pound lap dog.