Friendship, Flip Phones, and the Best Dog Ever

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Don't Listen To Us with Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody
Episode: “Friendship, Flip Phones, and the Best Dog Ever”
Date: November 5, 2025
Host: Lemonada Media

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Episode Overview

This episode brings together Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody, and their son Gideon for a warm, unscripted conversation about friendship—how hard it can be to make and keep friends as you get older, the tricks (and struggles) of staying open to connection, the challenges of technology in a hyperconnected world, and, as always, the chaos and comfort of family life (with canine star Becky making appearances). They field real listener questions, dive into their own dynamics, and share honest, often funny, sometimes tearful perspectives on connecting and living meaningfully.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Family Dynamic and Setting the Tone

• Gideon opens by poking fun at Mandy’s claim he “never gets his way” in arguments. Kathryn disputes this, setting up the playfully argumentative family tone.
  • [00:28] Mandy: “Zero.”
  • [00:40] Kathryn: “60% at least, if not 70.”
• Kathryn comes prepared with pages of notes, to Mandy’s bemused nothing. This leads to discussion about memories, the role of photographs, and how remembering has changed.
  • [02:24] Kathryn: “What would our memories be without photographs? Do you think people remembered better before they were invented? ...they had to tell stories about events...”

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2. Small Joys Amid Chaos

• Kathryn reflects on the importance of “starting each day with joy and beauty,” despite the world “falling apart.” She takes pleasure in the fragrance of gardenias, practicing seeking pleasure even when it feels forced.
  • [03:59] Kathryn: “It’s really hard to do that in...the world falling apart. But somebody gave me a gardenia bush and the gardenias are so delicious... It’s a beautiful fragrance.”
• Comic relief: The group derails briefly when Becky, the dog, licks herself on camera, with Mandy joking “not often enough.” This signals the easy, familial banter that runs through the show.

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3. Listener Question 1: Making Adult Friends (Suzanne from Baltimore)

[06:13]
Suzanne and her husband are near retirement, but lack friends after years of focusing on kids and work. She asks for advice on seeking and making like-minded friends as adults.

Kathryn’s Approach: Be Brave and Direct

• Friends are "my oxygen."

• She shares how she invited a waitress with a young child over for a playdate—meeting people through genuine, small interactions.

  • [08:32] Kathryn: “Part of it is I have the excuse that I have a three and a half year old grandchild... I just said, would you like to come over?”

• Advice for the shy: Acknowledge the awkwardness, invite anyway, and be open to rejection.

  • [09:21] Kathryn: “Maybe acknowledge that it’s awkward and uncomfortable...just say, hi... Would you like to have tea?”

• Kathryn emphasizes that lots of people are “starving” for connection, especially post-pandemic, and chances are you’re not the only one.

Mandy’s Approach: The Happenstance Theory

• Mandy advocates “not looking” for friends; believes new connections happen naturally as you go through life.

  • [10:13] Mandy: “Don’t look to make new connections. Just go about your business… you bump into somebody when you’re not looking for it. If you’re looking for it, it’s not going to be easy.”

• He adds: Get a dog—walking a dog naturally creates opportunities to meet people.

Gideon's Take/Moderation

• Observes that many older men have fewer friends and that men often depend on women to expand their social circles.

  • [11:05] Gideon: “Most of your friends have been through your wife...particularly with dads, particularly with, like, men over 50.”

• Notes both generational and gendered angles to making and keeping friends, but also affirms modern men like himself and his brother find it easier than their dad.

Honest Talk: Friendship Takes Work

• Mandy admits he’s bad at sustaining friendships, often letting effort lapse after first connection.

  • [12:36] Mandy: “I meet some guy and I want to hang out...And then I never make an effort again. Almost never again.”

• Shares regret over not repeating fun experiences, attributing it partly to the busyness of work but also his own failings—ultimately grading himself a “D minus” at friendship.

  • [14:17] Mandy: “Alright, I’ll give myself a D minus… Mrs. Chlorophyne in English...gave me a D minus. And that’s how come I passed and I graduated.”

• Kathryn sums up: “Friendship takes a lot of work. Yes, it does. Continuously also.” (14:54)

• Mandy becomes emotional, describing the relief and joy after finally reconnecting with an old friend (pushed by Kathryn).

  • [16:43] Mandy: “I was in tears. I was so moved...I love her so much...that visit meant the world.”

• Mandy reveals anxiety around making plans—worries it won’t work out or that he can’t escape an awkward situation. Fears rejection and the discomfort of letting someone down.

  • [17:43] Mandy: “If I make the effort to reach out...while I’m reaching out it’s going south and the other person wants it...sometimes I can’t find a graceful way to get out...I feel guilty.”
  • [19:38] Mandy’s final advice: “Don’t listen to me. Listen to Catherine and don’t be like me. Be like Catherine.”

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4. Listener Question 2: What Do You Miss Doing? (with live caller Imani)

[23:38]
Imani, a young writer, asks the panel: What is something you no longer do that you miss, and why did you stop? For her, it’s daydreaming—lost to the omnipresence of screens.

Kathryn on Daydreaming and Gathering

• Recalls writer Anna Quindlen, who linked creativity to daydreaming; grieves that technology “has taken away a fantastic part of our humanness.”
  • [24:51] Kathryn: “We’ve been programmed, with all the technology...with taking away a fantastic aspect of our humanness, which is daydreaming.”
• Misses spontaneous in-person gatherings—lost to Covid and screens.

Imani on Losing Imagination

• Now a TV/film writing student, confirms that constant connectivity kills creativity.
  • [26:22] Imani: “I was much more creative when I was younger.”

Mandy on Practicing Imagination

• Mandy describes how he leaves his phone in his trailer while filming, using the enforced unplugging to rekindle imagination and daydreaming.

  • [28:35] Mandy: “What would happen if you didn’t [pick up your phone]? What I started doing...was I started leaving my phone...in my trailer.”

• Encourages Imani to get a typewriter or use paper, make dramatic changes, and “just write” with no agenda—even nonsense, just for the joy of imagination.

  • [29:38] Mandy: “Go out and buy an old fashioned typewriter...Make a dramatic change...and just write and use your imagination, which is really daydream.”

• Playful advice: Make up words if you have to—“I feel like I’m gesigunivend....I want to feel flabbesimten...my friends are Flavasaviddin...Make it up, make it all up and get back to the thing that you miss the most.”

Inspiration and Commitments

• Mandy is moved by Imani’s question and says he’ll get a flip phone, inspired to further limit screen usage.

  • [31:17] Mandy: “I’m going to get a flip...put this thing away...”

• Imani describes her poetry book “Soul and Hands,” and the desire for community beyond screens.

• Mandy is deeply touched by the conversation:

  • [34:00] Mandy: “You really just made me peaceful. And I’ve often said...the only thing I long for in my life is peace.”
  • Kathryn: “I just love your thinking about this in the world that you live in...you are looking for what you need as a creative person, even if it goes against the dominant way of communicating.” [35:08]

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5. Hang Time: The Best Dog Ever—Becky

[38:33]

• The family discusses their beloved (and needy) dog Becky.

  • [38:45] All: “Becky!”

• Lighthearted rehash of how Mandy “needed” a dog after their previous, older family dogs passed. Kathryn’s conditions for a “small, non-shedding” dog were hilariously ignored—the result is a 94-pound, six-foot, half Great Pyrenees-half yellow lab who sheds everywhere but stole their hearts by jumping straight into Kathryn’s arms at the shelter.

  • [41:04] Kathryn: “I ended up with a 94 pound...half Great Pyrenee, half yellow lab, and I will be covered in white fur the rest of my life...I do love the dog.”

• Sweet, messy, silly story (“If it floods and excavates the bones, I want to build something out of the bones” - Gideon, [39:43]).

• Kathryn admits “I must say, I do love the dog,” showing the grudging affection the dog has inspired.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Katherine, on seeking friends:
  “I think people are starving. I don’t think you’re the only one that is looking for new connections.” [09:56]
• Mandy, on friendship work:
  “I meet some guy and I want to hang out...and then I never make an effort again. Almost never again.” [12:36]
• Mandy, on anticipation and anxiety:
  “His anticipation is anxiety...and then once he does it, he’s fabulous.” - Kathryn, on Mandy [17:19]
• Mandy, on daydreaming:
  “I live in my imagination. That is my reality. I love my imagination and the life it creates. ...I love my imagination.” [29:11]
• Mandy, on peace:
  “The only thing I long for in my life is peace. ...You made me feel peaceful and you gave me a little food to keep up the fight.” [34:00]
• Kathryn, encouraging Imani:
  “I just encourage you in every way to listen to that grow and listen to yourself.” [35:08]
• Dog antics:
  “I told dad I’d agree to a dog if it was small enough to fit in his lap and not embarrass him...I ended up with a 94-pound...half Great Pyrenee, half yellow lab...” [40:52]
• Playfulness/shutdown lines:
  “That’s all, folks.” – Gideon [41:56]
  “Oh, oh, you can’t use Warner Brothers.” – Mandy [41:58]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:28] - Family banter: Who gets their way? Parental dynamics.
• [02:24] - Kathryn’s musings: Memories, photographs, and storytelling.
• [03:59] - “Joy and beauty” in daily life.
• [06:13] - Listener Question 1: Making adult friends.
• [08:32] - Kathryn’s story: How to pick up a new friend.
• [10:13] - Mandy’s “happenstance” take on friendships.
• [12:36] - Mandy’s struggle to maintain friendships.
• [16:43] - Mandy’s emotional account: Old friend visits and joy.
• [17:43] - Mandy’s anxiety around social efforts.
• [23:38] - Listener Question 2 (Imani): What do you miss? Daydreaming and imagination.
• [28:35] - Mandy’s practice: Leaving the phone, embracing his imagination.
• [31:17] - Mandy vows to get a flip phone.
• [32:54] - Imani’s poetry book, and the collective longing for community.
• [34:00] - Mandy: On peace—inner and outer.
• [38:33] - Dog segment: The tale of Becky.
• [40:52] - Kathryn’s conditions (and what she actually got) in a dog.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Making adult friends is tough, uncertain, and full of vulnerability—but also possible, and rewarding. Take little risks, even if it’s awkward. Most people crave connection more than they let on.
• Friendship is work—even for the most gregarious, maintaining connections takes intention and effort (and perhaps a push from a spouse or a dog).
• Technology and modern life have eroded daydreaming and imagination; unplugging, writing by hand, and outdoor walks can rekindle creative joy.
• Finding peace (internally and externally) is a universal longing—even for someone as successful as Mandy Patinkin.
• Dogs are chaos and comfort—and often not what you expect, but exactly what you love.

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Tone & Style

The episode is funny, raw, meandering, and full of affectionate ribbing. The family is constantly veering off topic, poking at each other’s hang-ups but also supporting, challenging, and loving each other through vulnerability. There’s an undercurrent of melancholy—especially around loneliness and the hard work of connecting—but also plenty of encouragement, warmth, and hope.

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For New Listeners

You’ll get practical advice, stories you’ll want to repeat, and a big dose of heart—plus, if you’re struggling with friendship or finding your creative spark, you’re absolutely not alone. And if you need a reason to smile: just picture Becky the 94-pound lap dog.

Transcript

[Mandy Patinkin]

Lemonade.

[Podcast Announcer]

You can hear every episode of Don't Listen to Us ad free with Lemonada Premium. Just tap that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts or head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe on any other app. That's Lemonada Premium.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What percentage of the time do you feel that you get your way, dad, in your arguments?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Zero.

[Katherine Grody]

Oh, my God, that is so off.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It's.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What would you say the number is that dad gets his way?

[Katherine Grody]

60% at least, if not 70.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay, so 59%.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Name. Name the last thing I got my way. Name the last one.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Go.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Just one.

[Katherine Grody]

Just name one, honey. I can't remember. It happens every day.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That's like saying, name your favorite movie and nobody can think of a single movie.

[Caller Imani]

Yeah, I can.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Name one.

[Caller Imani]

What?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And there's my point.

[Caller Imani]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Welcome to Don't Listen to Us.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Don't Listen to Me. Who are we?

[Podcast Announcer]

I'm. I'm.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I'm Gideon, son. And who are you guys?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm Becky's father.

[Katherine Grody]

I'm Gideon's wife.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm Gramps.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Gramps.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So what's. What's occupying your guy's mind? Oh, mom was. Mom did a great job at writing down a bunch of thoughts throughout. Throughout the week of things she thought were interesting. Did you do that at all, dad? Nope.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I thought about things that were interesting.

[Katherine Grody]

Could I see my list that I.

[Mandy Patinkin]

That I could write down? Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And you know what I came up with?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Nothing.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh, that's good. And meanwhile, this is Mom's lessons. Two pages. What's up with people, your generation, typing in all caps? Are you aware of the experience of reading that for everyone else?

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

That it's like yelling?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yes, it feels like yelling. Okay, first of all, if you type in all caps and you want to yell, how do you do it?

[Katherine Grody]

Bold face.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Mom, what's one thing off your list? Just randomly read one of those paragraphs. Go. Don't pick a good one. Just the first one. You see, you're trying to pick a good one.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Read this one. I just pointed.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What does it say?

[Katherine Grody]

No, What. What would our memories be without photographs? Do you think people remembered better before they were invented? Yeah, I think they did because they had to tell stories about events and everybody had to sort of repeat and share because there wasn't. You just didn't take a picture and think, okay, that's good. I mean, honestly, he doesn't remember. He doesn't remember being there for your childhoods at all. Then I show you.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I mean, I don't blame I don't. I don't remember my childhood.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

At all.

[Katherine Grody]

You don't? Really?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

People talk about experiences. Childhood. I mean, I remember. I remember playing with GI Joes vaguely on a. On a carpet.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I remember you let him have a GI Joe.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

The alligator game where people would try to pretend to be an alligator. That was Daniel Wolf running.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Really?

[Caller Imani]

Yeah.

[Katherine Grody]

That was Daniel Wolf.

[Podcast Announcer]

That was a great game.

[Katherine Grody]

He loved that. He tried to get your feet.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Yeah.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Dad.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What did you read on mom's list that made your eyebrows? You looked confused. What was that one?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Having never. I. I didn't get it at first. Having never felt old or older, suddenly believing I am. And then in parentheses it said not very funny. And I thought it meant suddenly believing I am not very funny.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh, no. You just feel that topic is not very funny.

[Caller Imani]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katherine Grody]

I mean, Gideon said anything funny that you came up and it's not very funny.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, it doesn't have to be funny. Just. I'm just inviting you guys to, you know, capture some thoughts and. And feelings.

[Katherine Grody]

Well, you know what. What also get is interesting? The whole joy and beauty thing, which is, you know, on my phone and everybody calls me on it. Maybe I should change.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What's that? To start every day with joy and beauty.

[Katherine Grody]

You know, start or. It's really hard to do that in these circumstances of the world falling apart. But somebody gave me a gardenia bush and the gardenias are so delicious. I just never pass it without.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You don't eat them smelling.

[Katherine Grody]

It's a beautiful fragrance.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What's the flower you eat? Nasturtiums. Nasturtiums.

[Katherine Grody]

Nasturtiums.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Which. Isaac. You have them here and Isaac has them, right?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

They're a little spicy. Well, that's a great thing to do, Ma. Smell something?

[Katherine Grody]

No. It is. I go in and out and I make myself do that because that's a pleasurable practice.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Becky is licking her asshole. How often does that happen?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Not often enough. Okay.

[Katherine Grody]

Is that. Is that in the frame, Honey? Are we sharing that with.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, I think it's perfectly fine.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Okay.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It's universal.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Great. So what are we here to do? Welcome to don't listen to us.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm ready for a question. I'm ready.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

We're leaving my show.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm ready for the first question.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And you know what I wish we had?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I know what I wish we had. Did you ever. You know who Groucho Marx was?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yes.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Say the magic word, little duck come down, give you $100.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

So a magic word would be a little Duck would have a magic word in his mouth. And the people that we would be.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

The guests if they said the magic word.

[Mandy Patinkin]

They got a hundred dollars. Now we're not giving away a hundred bucks because we're doing this for almost nothing.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

So what we should do is say.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

The magic word and you get a question.

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, no, you got to get something and we'll mail it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

What about one of your tea towels?

[Katherine Grody]

Honey, the thermos is out.

[Mandy Patinkin]

The thermos is out. Let me show the people that didn't see episode two. This is our cue when Gideon pulls this out for us to shut up. Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And it hasn't worked once.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

But what about say the magic where.

[Mandy Patinkin]

The little duck comes down and that's a great.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And. And you get a little duck.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Could we could.

[Mandy Patinkin]

We can. We can hook a duck.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

We don't have the budget for that. We have no budget. We have no duck budget.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

We could make the duck and put a magic word in it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That kind of idea is like a season.

[Katherine Grody]

If I was listening to this right now, I'd go, oh God, that's great.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And that's what people have. The option. You skip ahead 30 seconds. It's a perfect moment to skip ahead 30 seconds.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'll get an ice cream.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay, Listener question number one today is from Suzanne. And this is an email we received about friendship. Suzanne writes, my husband and I have been married for 30 years. Lots of ups and downs with three grown children and. And careers slowly winding down towards retirement. Dad, are you looking at your phone?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I wanted to get something for Suzanne.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

For Suzanne. How are you going to listen to Suzanne's question if you're looking at your phone? You think you have the attention to multi task like that?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I can chew gum and walk at the same time.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

This is your last warning with the phone. Otherwise I'm going to remove it from you. Like a little bad. Mandy, because you said to me when.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You were little, you're not the boss of me.

[Katherine Grody]

But it's turned. How the tables have turned and he is the boss of us.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

All right. Suzanne was saying, with three grown children and careers slowly winding down towards retirement, we now have more time for us. While we love each other's company, we would like friends too. We never really connected with the parents of our kids. Friends. Our neighborhood has turned over and is now full of young, more religious families. Co workers are okay, but we see them all the time. What is your advice for seeking out like minded adults who are that we can connect with? Suzanne from Baltimore wants to know.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Don'T do.

[Katherine Grody]

Wow. Hey, Suzanne. I mean, I really, I, I sort of. Friends are my oxygen. Do you know? People are my oxygen. And I know that during the pandemic when we moved up here, I didn't really know anybody because for years we brought people up here or weren't here on a regular basis. I think it's really challenging, but it's very doable. Anyway, I think you have to.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Interesting.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Dad, this is illegal.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

This is something I've been meaning to tell you. We can't sing songs without rights. You can make up a song anytime or I think you can sing new lyrics to a tune.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Are you repeating what the producers are saying in your.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, no. This is one of the, you know, 10 warnings I was supposed to give you that I forgot.

[Katherine Grody]

Oh, I didn't know this topic. I want to stay on. I want to stay on this topic because I think it's interesting. Suzanne, I've been picking up people. Literally. Part of it is I have the excuse that I have a three and a half year old grandchild that I spent a lot of time with. So there was this lovely woman that was waitressing at a waitress at a place we go to a lot up here and we started talking and she mentioned she had a three year old and they live right down the street from us. So I said, would you like to come over? And I invited her over on Friday and we had a lovely day together.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What would be your advice to people who maybe aren't used to doing that kind of thing? How do you break out of your shell from being more quiet to having the guts to say hi, do you want to hang out? Even when you're in your older years.

[Katherine Grody]

I think you maybe acknowledge that it's awkward and uncomfortable and that you say hi. You know, we've passed each other three times and I, I realize we live near each other and we're trying to meet new people because we have more time for friendships. Would you like to have tea and.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Maybe be open to rejection and.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah, and they may look at you like you're weird. My. One of my closest friends on earth is somebody I picked up 42 years ago in Marrakesh. I just kept bumping into this woman and I finally said, would you like to have tea? And she's been a mainstay of my life. I just think you, you. I think people are starving.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

I don't think you're the only one.

[Katherine Grody]

That is looking for new connections. Yeah, we've been Zoomed and isolated. And I think lots of people want to make. Just say hello, don't listen to a podcast. Anybody you make a connection with, just say, hi.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Where do you live?

[Katherine Grody]

Start a conversation. Would you like to have a conversation?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I think it's like falling in love. Don't look to make new connections. Just go about your business, make breakfast, brush your teeth, do your bathroom duties, get out and just have your life. And then you bump into somebody when you're not looking for it. If you're looking for it, it's not going to be easy.

[Katherine Grody]

Couldn't disagree more. I think you have to make an effort.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I totally don't agree with her. Go get a dog. Walk your dog. That's a good way to meet people.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Do you feel like our social groups narrow as we get older without an.

[Katherine Grody]

Effort to expand them? Yes.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't think that's true.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No.

[Mandy Patinkin]

No. My social group is actually increasing as I get older.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And why do you think that is?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Because I'm desperate. I'm desperate for company. Yeah, I am. I'm desperate for company. And I'm more open to the people Catherine brings through the over the transom.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Right. I mean, that's. Most of your friends have been through your wife.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Almost everybody. With, like, just a handful of. Not even a full hand of exceptions.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Which is not an uncommon thing, particularly with dads, particularly with, like, men over, you know, 50. I've talked to so many friends, different class backgrounds, different racial backgrounds, different locations. And we've, like, discovered, hey, does your dad, like, not have as many friends as your mom? And I think it's. I don't think it's just like a gendered thing. I think it's also a generational thing.

[Katherine Grody]

But you're very different, both you and Isaac, which I'm thrilled to say both have the ability to connect and make friends much more than your dad did.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, I mean, we've talked about. There have been times where you've wanted more friends in the past, and you've been like, what do you guys like? What's your secret? Or how is that easy for you?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Well, that's why I started the father's group. Right. And that was four guys. Because we had an interesting discussion one night when you all were little about life and family and kids and raising them.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That was a long time ago.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And almost nothing about work.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah, but that was very long.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It was. It was.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And it's been a continued thing. And my main thing that I've always said is you have to be not just Interested in the other people sometimes, but you have to, like, sustain that. And I think you're not alone in that sometimes. You're very interested in people and want the connection, but also then you want a lot of space and a lot of quiet.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Well, I'll tell you how it works for me. And I'm absolutely 100% at fault as much as that. I feel other men are.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I meet some guy and I want to hang out and I have a nice time. Yeah. And then I never make an effort again. Almost never again.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So what's up with that? What the fuck?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't know. It's like. It's just how stupid humans are, in my humble opinion. Catherine and I and Sarah and James Lapine went dancing one night. We took a dancing lesson of, like, ballroom dancing lesson. We had the best time ever. We all said we have to do it again. We've said it many times over the years. We had to do it I don't know how many, maybe 20 years ago. We have never done it again. It was one of the most fun things we ever did. And then I'll have other guys who want to get together, and then I'm not good at it, or I want to get together and they're not good at it. Or I feel like I'm making all the effort and they're not making all the effort.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

So I get pissed off and then I don't see anybody.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So do you feel you've gotten better at this or worse at this?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I use the excuse of work, which.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Is real, because I do need to.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Do a certain amount of work every day, I. E. To go over my songs when I'm walking. That's what I do so that I don't lose them. Or if I have words to learn for a film job, then I have to go over them thousands of times. So I learn them.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

But there's a lot more time during.

[Mandy Patinkin]

The day for me to do other things, and I don't take advantage of it. And I'm ashamed to say I have been trying to address this my whole life.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

And I get a big fat F. No, you don't.

[Katherine Grody]

You're much better.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I'm gonna say, why can't you give yourself. Why can't you give yourself an F plus or a D minus?

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah, F plus.

[Mandy Patinkin]

F. No.

[Katherine Grody]

Let me tell you. Can I say something?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You know what would mean you don't have any friends. You have a lot of good friends who love you and who you love. You just don't feel as good at making new friends.

[Mandy Patinkin]

All right, I'll give myself a D minus. You know why?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Because Mrs. Chlorophyne in English at Kenwood High School gave me a D minus.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And that's how come I passed and I graduated high school.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So D minus, not so bad.

[Katherine Grody]

Can I say something really interesting? This idea of friendship, she should have been thrown out. Has come up a lot with us. We're having this discussion a lot. So one day dad goes out with a friend, right? Because we've had this discussion about, you know, spending time. And he comes home and I said, how was your time? And he said, boy, friendship takes a lot of work. And I thought I said, yes, it does. Continuously also.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

But I think the thing.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What, about two and a half hours too much?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I think the thing that sometimes dad feels is that when he's feeling those feelings, he's defective or broken or doesn't understand how to do something. And he doesn't know how incredibly common this is.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And I think to fail at friendship.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

If you're male, not to fail at friendship, just like to have a hard time continually making new friends or sustaining friends. And I do think, generationally, it is harder.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Do you not have a hard time ever?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

That is not a thing I struggle with. What I struggle with is staying in touch with all the close friendships that are meaningful to me. And I feel overwhelmed by that and often give myself an F minus.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You shouldn't. You should give yourself a D or D. I will.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And this is. This conversation has inspired me to give myself a D minus. So thank you for that confidence to boost from F minus to D. I'm starting to sweat.

[Katherine Grody]

Okay, honey. I had more to say about this topic.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I know you'll always have more to say.

[Katherine Grody]

There was such good things.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I know. Well, we'll come back to it.

[Katherine Grody]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Turn it up. Go ahead, Ma. While Dad's.

[Katherine Grody]

It's very interesting, I recently had an opportunity to see an old, really important friend of Dad's. Okay. I had the best time. Yeah, that was on a Thursday. And I said, honey, you really should reach out. Oh, I will. I love. I love her. Well, why don't you ask her to come over today? No, I gotta work. I gotta do things today. Well, what about tomorrow? Is that I'm a little. I'm a little. I'm a little hesitant. I pushed him. He had this friend come over and he had the best time. The best time all day.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I was in tears. I was so moved. How great is that, seeing my dear friend again. How great Is that my friend grew. Oh my God. I love her so much. And we haven't seen each. We saw each other a little bit. I saw her, you know, and then. And then I find. I don't look for excuses. Somehow we. A big chunk of time goes until we see each other again. And then, thank God, we saw each other again. Mom helped to make that happen. And mom then knew to leave me alone. She went out with my daughter in law, our daughter in law, and left me alone with Gru so that we could just have a visit. And that visit meant the world.

[Katherine Grody]

I think it's Dad's. I'm a half glass full. He's a half glass empty. His anticipation is anxiety. It won't work. He won't want to do it. He'll get bored. He won't escape. And, and then once he does it.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I know what it is.

[Katherine Grody]

He's fabulous.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I know what it is because I love it. And I'm furious that it's not easier for me. But look at. My glasses are fogging up. I'm not kidding. I'm getting. I get, I get upset about this. I know what it is. I'm worried.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I mean, also, dad, anytime. You can always say, I don't want.

[Mandy Patinkin]

To talk about it. I know, but I like breaking down in front of an international audience. I hope. But I know what it is. If I make the effort to reach out. And while I'm reaching out, it's going south and the other person wants it. I can't find a graceful way sometimes to get out. I do find graceful ways, but I feel guilty.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And that's a lot of anxiety.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Anxiety.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Then I'm the one who's not calling back.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm not the one who's not having dinner.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You know how that feels on the other end? You don't want to do that.

[Mandy Patinkin]

My whole career is about that. If you choose to be an actor, whatever, you better be ready for people for rejection.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Right?

[Mandy Patinkin]

24 7, 365.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So it just feels kind of too complicated.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It really.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

It's. It's just not. It's. It's really a lot of work for me.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Not when I get together with you.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Because if it works, I have a great time, right?

[Mandy Patinkin]

And if it's an old friend, I usually am very emotional because I can't believe we haven't seen each other so long.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

But Mom. Part of my problem is it's so.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Fucking easy for Mom.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

She does it with her hands tied.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Behind her back and her eyes blindfolded.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, there's that.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

And I get angry at how easy.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It is for her and how it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Isn'T that way for me because like.

[Mandy Patinkin]

A lot of people are talking about.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Because I'm lonely, right? And that's insane. I have no excuse to be lonely.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You're creating that situation.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm at fault for it. But that's why I'm angry, because I end up feeling lonely. Right.

[Katherine Grody]

And I think, Suzanne, think outside the box. Just make a list of all the different things in your community and everywhere you go and be brave and bold and you will find lots of people and don't let age be a factor.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And one last thought from me, if I may. Don't listen to me. Listen to Catherine and don't be like me. Be like Catherine.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And this reminds me of the age old adage, dad, always compare yourself to your spouse.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah. To feel better compare to leads to violence.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, I appreciate that, all that and I think it's. It's complicated for a lot of people.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I'm not gonna listen to this episode.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, no.

[Mandy Patinkin]

This is just. This is undone me.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Sorry.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I feel horrible.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

This show is sponsored by Midi Health.

[Katherine Grody]

And let me tell you, I'm so.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Thrilled to learn about Midi Health. Because when I was in midlife and when I was going through perimenopause and menopause, they did not exist. I felt alone. Like every woman going through this was made to feel. And we were made to feel ashamed and embarrassed and to feel that our vibrancy in all areas was over. Do you know today 75% of women seeking care for menopause and perimenopause issues are left entirely untreated?

[Katherine Grody]

How's that possible?

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Midi Health is now here to provide individualized telehealth, which is covered by your insurance, by the way. And they will listen, take women seriously and encourage you to move on to this next act. Get through it less insane than I was. So I really encourage you to check them out. If you're ready to feel your best and write your own second act, visit joinmitty.com today. Book your personalized insurance covered virtual visit. That's joinmitty.comm I d I the care women deserve. That's progress. Hallelujah. This episode is sponsored by Better Help. I was born in California and I never understood that if people had the option, why they wouldn't live in a place that had all four seasons, because I found that magical. But I know as the days get shorter and it gets darker, some people feel a little shut in a little lonely with that. And BetterHelp is encouraging everybody to reach out. Let the people that you're close with or haven't been in touch with for a while know you're there. You know, and in these challenging times, it really feels good to remember you have a community. Remember, there are people that you feel close with. And if you need help outside of your community, it feels really good to reach out for a therapist. Better Help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct, and they are fully licensed in the US which was really important to me to find out before I agreed to associate with Better Help because I think licensing and skill and training is really important. This month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. And our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com don'tlisten. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com don'tlisten. Let's make the Fall a beautiful opportunity to connect and to heal what needs healing.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Mom and dad. This round will be joined by a live caller. But first, let's hear their question.

[Caller Imani]

Hi, Mandy. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Mandy. This is Imani. And my question to you is, what is something you no longer do, that you miss doing, and why did you stop? For me, it's daydreaming. Before I turned 17, I didn't have a phone. A lot of the time when others my age would be on their phones, I would be sitting off to the side looking into nothingness and just pondering the world. And I honestly feel like this is when my brain was the most creative. Nowadays, it's been most of my time. It's never screens, and I just don't do as much daydreaming. But anyways, how about you? And thank you for taking my question.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay, so I want to bring Imani on here.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And that's a beautiful question, Imani. Thank you so much.

[Katherine Grody]

Oh, Imani, you just made me cry. Cry. I'm having such a weird reaction because Are you here?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Are you here with us, Imani?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, I just heard her.

[Caller Imani]

Yes, I can.

[Katherine Grody]

I can hear Imani.

[Caller Imani]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thank you for sharing that with us.

[Katherine Grody]

You know, a writer named Anna Quindlen once wrote about how she became a writer because she spent so much of her childhood daydreaming. And I think we've been programmed, with all the technology, the way everybody communicates on it, with taking away a Fantastic aspect of our humanness, which is daydreaming. And now you have to be disciplined to make up time for your daydreaming because you have all these options. So I would say to you, if you can, to turn off your phone or computer for a certain time of day and give your permission to daydream. I certainly am trying to do that. And in terms of what I miss, I mostly really miss. I mean, it's gotten better, but it's still been so impacted by Covid and all this screen time. I miss gathering with people all the time in our three dimensions by accident or purposefully. I miss going to the theater without worrying about getting sick or to a movie without getting sick. Do you know that's not quite your question about what do I do that I don't do anymore, but it is.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Imani, where are you calling from today? And can I ask, what do you.

[Podcast Announcer]

Do for a living now?

[Caller Imani]

Yeah, sure. Well, right now. Well, I am in California, Riverside, California, right now. And I actually go to school. School for writing for television and film. So I do consider myself a writer. And you're right, Kathryn, it is much harder to daydream these days, and it has affected my writing. I feel like I was much more creative when I was younger.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Imani, why is it harder for you to daydream these days?

[Caller Imani]

Oh, because of the screens, for sure. Like Kathryn was saying, I just spend so much time either on social media because I feel like a lot of. Or the biggest way to stay in the loop is to be on social media, to figure out what everyone is talking about and doing, and then to decompress. I either watch one of my favorite shows or a movie, but I've tried to minimize screen time. I've. I just bought a word search book because, I don't know, I think it elevates your mind in some way.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Can I.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Can I talk to you for a minute?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Imani, first of all, I love your name. I love that you're a writer. I love. I love the tone of your voice. So my eyes are closed while I'm talking to you because I want to just be with you. And I would really highly recommend what I've learned to do when I'm filming. I'm usually the oldest person these days on the set. And everybody's in somewhere in their 30s. Most of the other people, and many of them are on their phones. And they are on their phones and the director says, action. And they just drop their phone below the camera line or put it behind their tush. And they play the scene and then he says cut. And then they pick up their phone and continue. And I. I just can't get over it. I can't get over that they can concentrate and do the scene beautifully and be on the phone while they're in the middle of a conversation with some. I just can't get over it anyway, and I don't admire it. I just think what would happen if you didn't do that?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

So what I started doing when I.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Noticed that was I started leaving my phone, which we all get addicted to, in my trailer. And I'd be on the set for 10 to 12 hours a day and I'd never see that phone. And I would sit quietly looking at my lines or thinking or. My favorite thing to do, which is what you're talking about is daydreaming because. And I have a suggestion to make you, aside from leaving your phone somewhere else, is I live in my imagination. That is my reality. I love my imagination and the life it creates.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Whether it's great, wonderful, silly, funny, trying painful, hard or thrilling.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I love my imagination.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

And.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What I would love you to.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Try to do is put. Don't use a dictionary. Don't use a word game or anything. Take a pencil and paper or an old. Or get an old. Go out and buy an old fashioned.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Typewriter so there's no screen in front of you. Really make a dramatic change like you.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Have some sort of illness and the.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Doctor gives you a prescription and you got to do it or you're going to die.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

And just write and use your imagination, which is really daydream. And you don't have to force yourself to dream me. If you can't think of anything, just say I'm sitting here for hours. I can't think of a damn thing. I feel like an empty vessel. This guy told me to just use my imagination. I feel like it died. I feel like I don't have an imagination. I don't know who I am and I can't figure out the word to say it. I know what the word is. I'm gesigunivend. I'm just Gesigedewund every minute of every day. And I want to feel flabbesimten. I just want to feel flabbesinten. So I'm not Gesigedewund because I hate being Gezigadevund. Oh, my friends are Flavasaviddin and why can't I be Flavasaviddin and make it up, make it all up and get back to the thing that you miss the most, which is obviously something you know how to do and you have the gift of. And I love that you've asked this question because it's reminded me that I need to get back to my imagination and practice on. Practice more with listening to it and giving it some breath and time and walks in the woods to just think of nothing or think of everything.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I think, Imani, that you've really touched on something that is, like, endemic to everyone who's been affected by this technological boom. None of us are healthy. We are all so fucked with this stuff.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I agree. I'm going to get a flip, which I've heard people talking about, and I'm gonna put this thing away and I.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

May just go to my computer in the evening to see what business.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Let me tell Imani, if you just inspired my dad to get a flip phone, I'm going to send you the most gigantic cake with a thousand candles because this is something I've wanted for him for ages.

[Mandy Patinkin]

She has.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And he just bought an iPhone 16. And I tell you, if he.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I got a good amount off because I'm giving back my.

[Katherine Grody]

That has nothing to do with flip phone.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Do you want to make a commitment to Imani?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Imani, I promise you I'm going to get it to. I'm going to get it before this week is over.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And I have one, too. Maybe Imani, if he can do that, maybe you can carve out some consistent time for yourself away from screens for a real period of time and see how it affects you.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And my wife would like. She just said, can I have one, too? I'm willing to get my wife, Catherine, I'm willing to get you one, honey. Only if Imani is willing to find a time every day to show you how to use it. Because your family members, we have other things we need to do.

[Katherine Grody]

Imani, I don't know if you've heard there is a writing teacher, Nadine something I used to Writing down the bones. Do you know her at all? Imani? She had a great exercise, which was just called Keep the hand moving on the Page. So whether it's in the morning or at night, you have no purpose, you have no theme, you have nothing. You just keep your hand moving on that page for 10 minutes and see what comes out.

[Caller Imani]

You know, actually I actually wrote a poetry book, and it's called Soul and Hands because it's all of what I feel from my soul to everyone else's. And it. There's a lot like what we're Talking about now. There's a lot in there that I just felt, and I know that. I think when I was writing it, it reminded me how alike I'm like to everyone else. You know, how. Just, like, how we're talking now with how screens, how they're so. They have so much control in our lives. And I just. I'm seeing just how much we all are affected by it and how we. It would be nice for us to go back to revaluing community, like, in person, you know, like you were saying earlier, Kathleen. And I know that social media is wonderful. It really is. It's brought us together, it's connected us all. But there's too much value in it, I feel. And it. It's just a tool, you know?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I gotta tell you, Imani, as we started this podcast today, I don't know what the topic came up, and I don't want to remember because I started getting anxious and literally sweating, and my glasses started to fog up. And then I hung in, and then you called, and then you talked to us. And I have the biggest smile on my face because you didn't just calm me down. You really just made me. Made me peaceful. And I've often said to my wife and to many people, the only thing I long for in my life is peace. And I think I would trade in everything. I know it's an easy thing to say because you'd say, like, well, how would you feel if you couldn't sing or you couldn't do your work, you couldn't have your family? I don't mean that. I just mean I trade in something that mattered if I could trade it in for peace. And I mean inner peace, and I mean world peace at the same time. And you gave me that right now. You didn't give me the world peace. We're all still working on that. But you made me feel peaceful and you gave me a little food to keep up the fight.

[Katherine Grody]

And I just love that. I just love your thinking about this in the world that you live in. And you just don't accept. Accept how it defines itself, that you are looking for what you need as a creative person, even if it goes against the dominant way of communicating. And I just encourage you in every way to listen to that grow and listen to yourself.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah. Listen to yourself. I'm listening to you.

[Caller Imani]

Thank you for speaking with me, and I hope that you both, or you all have a beautiful rest of your day.

[Katherine Grody]

Thank you.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thanks, Imani. We'll talk again soon.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Bye.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Bye. That was beautiful. Guys, thank you.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Thank you.

[Katherine Grody]

She was amazing.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I want to thank Debbie and Katrina because honestly, I really, I had a. I had an experience listening to her and I, I mean, these are our producers along with Gideon, who, who this whole podcast was their idea. And I never imagined that I would, you know, I just didn't think that I would meet somebody that would affect me in a way that changed my mood today. And I think I'll carry it with me. I'll remember her name and the sound of her voice. And I hope, I hope that my words come to fruition. And I did not expect that from being a part of a podcast.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I love that. And I think that's one of your superpowers, dad, is that you're able to allow yourself to change moods pretty dramatically. Even when you feel things pretty large in one way or another, you can. Some part of your brain and heart is open to that shifting within a small space of time.

[I]

Well, hi everybody. It's Julia Louis Dreyfus from the Wiser Than Me podcast. And I'm not going to talk about food waste this time time. I'm going to talk about food resources. All that uneaten food rotting in the landfill, it could be enriching our soil or feeding our chickens because it's still food. And the easiest and frankly, way coolest way to put all its nutrients to work is with the mill food recycler. It looks like an art house garbage can. You can just toss your scraps in it like a garbage can, but it is definitely not a garbage can. I mean, it's true. I'm pretty obsessed with this thing. I even invested in this thing. But I'm not alone. Any mill owner just might corner you at a party and raps and eyes about how it's completely odorless and it's fully automated and how you can keep filling it for weeks. But the clincher is that you can depend on it for years. Mill is a serious machine. Think about a dishwasher, not a toaster. It's built by hand in North America and it's engineered by the guy who did your iPhone. But you have to kind of live with mill to understand all the love. That's why they offer a risk free trial. Go to mil.com wiser for an exclusive offer.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

This brings us to our last little segment today, our little hang time. And today's question is, who's the best dog ever?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Becky.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Becky.

[Katherine Grody]

Who's the neediest dog ever? Becky.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So tell me about Becky. Where is she?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Should I get her to Come up on my lap. Come here, sweetie. Let's bring her up here. Come here. Let me have a treat. Come here, Becky.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Come on.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Come here.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Come on, Becky. This is your moment.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Come here. Come on up here.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Okay.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You don't like doc segments.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

I'm not a person.

[Katherine Grody]

I wrote.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Don't say that right in front of her.

[Mandy Patinkin]

She's got something in her throat. Do you want. Do you want another treat? Will that help clear your throat like a piece of dry bread? Or is it gonna make it work?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay, so who's my daughter who wanted a dog?

[Katherine Grody]

Here, dad.

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, no, the kids want. Oh, can I take these out of my ear? Yeah, yeah. The kids. You said the kids. You said. The whole family thought I needed a dog. We had two black lives.

[Katherine Grody]

We had two Black lives for 14 and 16 years. I took them out first thing in the morning, last thing at night. I'm not a dog person. It was for my sons and my dog, they died. So this dog, every dad, we bury those.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Those dogs right out there by the river.

[Katherine Grody]

Probably not deep enough. If it ever floods, we'll get to visit.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, I want to build. If it. If it floods and it excavates the bones, I want to build something out of the bones.

[Katherine Grody]

Okay, kid, you wanted.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Can I use my phone to make her sing?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, not yet.

[Katherine Grody]

So. So anyway, every dad wanted a dog. It had been 10 years since we had dogs. Yeah, we said he was too busy to take care of it. I said, too bad. I've been there, done that. Not my thing. Pandemic happens. He says she's not a pandemic dog. I don't know. We got her March 2020. What else is that?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, we didn't get it because of the pandemic. We were looking for a rescue dog before the world shut down from the pandemic. Everybody felt I needed the dog.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah. Mandy was in his own pandemic.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Okay, fine.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Katherine Grody]

We went to a local shelter. We saw two nasty dogs. I thought I'd humor him. It passed.

[Mandy Patinkin]

They weren't nasty. They just.

[Katherine Grody]

They were nasty to me. I was not into it. And I told dad, this is my favorite dog story I told. This is the dynamic of who gets what. I said, you can have a dog as long as it's small.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh, we should tell everyone. Becky is at the table currently.

[Katherine Grody]

Yes.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Anyone who's not watching.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah, she's at the day. I told dad I'd agree to a dog if it was small enough to fit in his lap and not embarrass Him.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Katherine Grody]

And absolutely she had to have hair and not fur because I will not live with a shedding thing.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Katherine Grody]

What did I end up with? I ended up with a 90 pound, 94 pounds.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Now I got six foot.

[Katherine Grody]

Six foot. When she stands up, half great pyrenee, half yellow lab, and I will be covered in white fur the rest of my life. I must say, I do love the dog. I do think.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Did you say how you met her, that she jumped up on you and put her.

[Katherine Grody]

Well, yeah, she jumped up.

[Mandy Patinkin]

She put her paws here and then tucked her head right in here and she melted.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Is that true, Mom?

[Katherine Grody]

Yes, it is true. The shelter person wrote to us. She said, I think you two need a soulful dog. And I have one she's been working with. Oh. Oh, you have a tick. Yeah. Give it to me.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Give it to me. Just calm down.

[Katherine Grody]

God damn.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

These are fine. Just eat them.

[Katherine Grody]

Oh, yeah.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

Jesus.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Put some ketchup on them. You're welcome. It tastes great.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, that's our. That's our thing today. That we did.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

That's all, folks.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Oh, oh, you can't use Warner Brothers.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Are coming own your house. Does today's episode have an ending song? Is there a song.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

You do?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

The end of today's song.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin (alternate or additional speaker)]

Can she not even sing? Is she not even allowed to sing.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Like the children's song?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

If it's. If it's public domain. Public domain. You could say happy birthday.

[Katherine Grody]

Scratch, scratch, scratch it, please are biting. Cheer up, comrades.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

I have sex.

[Katherine Grody]

I will pinch the little tails in between my fingernails till they promise they won't scratch me anymore. Scratch, scratch.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

There you go. Nobody's gonna sue you over.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And the other ones, you sing the kids all the time and now are grandkids. I think you can do one of those every week.

[Sponsor Voice (Midi Health / Better Help)]

I don't think so.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Well, thanks for listening, folks. We want to hear from you. More questions, stories, advice for us.

[Katherine Grody]

Yeah, that really an inspiration. Man, we really got inspired. I'm gonna get up.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Weird, playful, fun stuff in the mix too. Don't be shy. Please send an email to askmandyandcatherinemail.com or check out socials for an easy way to get in touch with us, send a voice note. Thank you so much for being here and tuning in. And let's be perfectly clear, don't listen to us.

[Katherine Grody]

But you know what I just thought of Ken. You know what? This reminds me.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What is this water bottle represent on the table? It's trying to say we're wrapping it up. This means that we have no More Time to Talk about Don't Listen to.

[Podcast Announcer]

Us is a Lemonada Media original hosted by Mandy Patinkin, Katherine Grody and Gideon Grody Patinkin. Created by Katrina Onstad, Debbie Pacheco and Gideon Grody Patinkin. Executive producers are Kathryn Grody, Gideon Grody Patinkin, Mandy Patinkin, Katrina Onstadt, Debbie Pacheco, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittles Wax. Our engineer is Ryan Derringer of Welterweight Sound. Video and audio production by Mark Whiteway of Bellows Media. Thanks to Lemonada's lead engineer, Ivan Kurayev. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Media Premium yet, now's the perfect time. You can hear Don't Listen to Us completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like behind the scenes conversations, questions so weird they didn't make it on air, Becky the Dog shenanigans, and more. Just tap the subscribe button on Apple podcasts. Head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe on any other app, or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. That's lemonadapremium.com don't miss out.