Don't Listen To Us – Episode Summary

Podcast: Don't Listen To Us with Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody

Episode: Rude Animals and What Happens After Death

Date: October 29, 2025

Main Theme & Overview

This episode explores a vibrant assortment of listener questions with the loving, chaotic energy of the Patinkin-Grody family. The big themes include grandparenting wisdom, the enigma of what happens after death, the imagined rudeness of talking animals, and even practical home and garden advice. Mandy, Kathryn, and their son Gideon mix heartfelt insight, comedy, generational storytelling, and gentle debates, staying true to their podcast’s ethos of advice for skeptics and wisdom-lovers alike.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. On Silence and Family Banter (00:11–03:15)

• The episode playfully starts with a “meditation” of silence initiated by Gideon, punctuated quickly by jokes and faux complaints (“That was just 30 seconds.” – Gideon, 00:29).
• The trio jokes about being “a mess” as a family and sets up a lighthearted, self-aware tone.

2. Halloween: Love It or Hate It? (02:05–03:43)

• Kathryn confesses hating Halloween despite pretending otherwise as a parent.
  • “It's the one thing I do not miss at all from your childhood. I hated that.” – Kathryn, 02:12
• Mandy recalls a disastrous costume story involving aluminum foil, a “computer” costume, and a traumatized child (“I hate the fucking holiday.” – Mandy, 03:09).
• Favorite candies are discussed: Mandy likes Junior Mints and Three Musketeers, but no longer indulges.
• Concerns about Halloween safety (razor blades in apples!) highlight generational anxieties about parenting.

3. Listener Question: How to Be a Great Grandparent (Bonnie) (04:17–11:12)

Kathryn’s Grandparenting Philosophy

• “The challenge of being a grandparent really quite surprising because we are the grandparents, we are not the parents...that really has to be deeply respected.” (05:21)
• Shares advice from a cousin: “…here’s the advice I’m going to give you. Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.” (06:00)
  • Kathryn and Gideon comically dissect which is better: duct tape or silence.

Mandy’s Perspective

• Lavishes praise on Kathryn’s energy as a grandmother:
  • “She has a gift that is off the charts. I’m now gonna shut up for the rest of this question and let her give you all the advice.” (07:27)
• Emphasizes the value of simply observing and responding to grandchildren:
  • “Watch them and listen to them. They will tell you what they need and you will just respond…” (10:03)
  • Shares a piece of acting (and life) advice: “Go out there, listen to the words and see where they take you. Go out there, listen to your grandchild, watch your grandchild and see where it takes you.” (10:17)

Practical Tips

• Less is more: “Sometimes the best time we have with them is doing nothing. Just like literally sitting around using your imagination, cultivating that.” – Gideon (09:27)
• Physical affection and play, e.g. “Roly Poly” game, passed down from family tradition (13:08–13:43)

4. How Grandparenting Has Changed (11:17–13:43)

• Both Mandy and Kathryn recount their own grandparents, whose relationships were much more distant and hands-off, influenced by immigrant hardship, language barriers, and generational change.
• A sense of gratitude for being active, present grandparents now.

5. Quick Question: The Rudest Animal (17:44–20:38)

• Listener Miriam asks, “If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?”
  • “Humans.” – first response from Mandy (18:10)
  • Kathryn nominates hyenas: “Because I’ve never heard anything really wonderfully generous or kind about the way hyenas behave.” (18:25)
  • Mandy rails against coyotes for threatening his dog, calling them “heinous.” (18:45)
  • Discussion acknowledges animal behavior myths, and segues into mutual admiration for elephants and whales, with Kathryn noting, “I’m very down on our species right now, Miriam, so I’m really up on the animal kingdom being superior.” (18:12)
  • Kathryn shares that elephants call each other by individual names – a sign of animal intelligence. (21:05)

6. What Happens After Death? (Listener Email from Heather) (21:33–31:44)

• Heather’s moving note: She recounts her pregnancy coinciding with her father’s passing, dreams of her grandmother “waiting” for her dad, and feelings of connection across generations.

Kathryn’s Response

• Frames herself as spiritual more than religious:
  • “I have come to believe that we transform when we die, that this body is just a temporary container for our energy which doesn’t get destroyed, but it does transform into who knows what.” (23:32)
  • She finds comfort in the mystery, referencing physics and her reading: “We don't understand 95% of the universe… it seems to me we really can't come to any conclusions about the energy that we possess.”
  • Spends more time contemplating mortality as she ages.

Mandy’s Take

• He values memory as a form of keeping loved ones close:
  • “As long as there’s one person on earth who remembers you, it isn’t over.” – referencing Oscar Hammerstein (25:47)
  • Mandy describes actively recalling and “talking” to deceased loved ones, in dreams and even onstage.
  • “There are times I’m on stage and… I see people, I don’t know, generations that have disappeared from acts of violence or hatred… that I believe have all come to sit with us for a while, everyone in the audience, keep us company or my loved ones, and it’s incredibly comforting.” (27:04)
  • Relates his belief to Einstein’s theory: “Energy never dies.” (27:56)

Dreams as a Doorway

• Discussion affirms dreams as a meaningful way of spending time with departed people:
  • “Are you going to sit here… and tell me that my brain… is any less or more real to my brain and my mind than my part of my brain… that’s having that dream, that those don’t have equal weight and value to my existence?” – Mandy (30:44)
• Kathryn tells a story of a friend who dreamt of her deceased parents and requests, “Next time they visit you, would you ask them to please drop by my house?” (31:08)
• Ultimately, both express a need for connection, whether literal, dream-based, or metaphorical: “You will see your dad and your baby and everybody else in some way, some feeling, somehow.” – Kathryn (31:44)

7. Practical Problem Solving: The Kinky Hose (Live Caller Nancy) (33:40–40:29)

• Nancy seeks advice for a persistently kinking garden hose.
• Mandy delivers step-by-step, detailed hardware advice:
  • “Right where the kink is, just give yourself a little extra and cut it out with the box cutter on both sides of the kink… get new male and female hose ends… attach them, tighten with a screw, and cover with duct tape… You then can re-hook those two pieces of hose together and have almost 50ft.” (36:17–37:58)
• Nancy is “astonished” at his practical knowledge; Kathryn admits she’d just give up and buy a new one but admires Nancy and her Depression-era thrift.
• Classic Patinkin family ribbing ensues (“Tell your friends I could use the work.” – Mandy, 40:23), leading to a jokey improvised “Mandy the hose man” jingle.

8. Fun and Games: “Scary / Not Scary” (40:58–46:24)

Gideon reads a rapid-fire list, the others declare gut reactions:

• Spiders: “Scary, not scary.” – Kathryn, 41:47
• Orgies: “Scary. Wet and scary.” – Mandy, 42:11
• Black bears: “Scary… Don’t feed them, don’t cuddle them.” – Mandy, 42:27
• Foreign documentaries: “Not scary.”
• Donuts: “Scary.” – Mandy & Kathryn (calories!)
• Dentists: “Not scary.”
• Lawyers: Not scary.
• Scary movies: “Scary. Yeah, I’m not. I hate them.” – Mandy, 43:47
• Being alone: Both “mixed” and “scary/not scary.”
• Depends (diapers): Leads to a comedic riff about advertising, with Mandy offering to be the “face” of the product (“I’ll wear them on camera,” 45:01; “I’ll let my new tits show,” 45:19).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I hate the fucking holiday.” – Mandy, Halloween memories (03:09)
• “Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.” – Kathryn’s cousin (06:00)
• “She has a gift that is off the charts.” – Mandy on Kathryn as a grandma (07:27)
• “Go out there, listen to your grandchild, watch your grandchild and see where it takes you.” – Kathryn/Mandy acting advice adapted (10:17)
• “I’m very down on our species right now, Miriam, so I’m really up on the animal kingdom being superior.” – Kathryn, on rude animals (18:12)
• “As long as there's one person on earth who remembers you, it isn’t over.” – Mandy quoting Carousel (25:47)
• “Are you going to sit here… and tell me that my dream isn’t as real as my waking life?” – Mandy on the reality of dreams (30:44)
• “Just go get a new hose and ask your grandmother from the Depression to forgive you.” – Kathryn, practical thrift (38:44)
• “Mandy the hose man, bring him your hose—not your clothes, but the hose, 'cause he has a nose for hoses!” – Gideon (40:31)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:11–03:15: Family banter & Halloween
• 04:17–11:12: Grandparenting advice (Bonnie)
• 17:44–20:38: Rudest animals
• 21:33–31:44: What happens after death? (Heather)
• 33:40–40:29: Kinky hose problem (Nancy)
• 40:58–46:24: “Scary / Not Scary” rapid-fire game
• Selected memorable quotes: noted with segment locations throughout

Tone & Language

• Warm, familial, often irreverent, deeply personal but with a wry, self-aware humor.
• Example exchange:
  • Gideon: “Do you have a burning urge to do a song?”
  • Kathryn: “No.”
  • Mandy: “Great.” (45:54)

For New Listeners

You’ll find not just advice, but heartfelt storytelling, genuine vulnerability about death and family, and the feeling of joining a loving, bickering, wise family for an hour. The episode weaves between playfulness and profound life questions, always with affection and humor—even if the advice occasionally veers into farce.