Time Slipping? Mandy Patinkin & Kathryn Grody on Aging

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Time Slipping? Mandy Patinkin & Kathryn Grody on Aging"

Don't Listen To Us – Lemonada Media
Original Air Date: May 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody, and their son Gideon tackle the universal anxiety about the swift passage of time and fears of running out of time to do something meaningful. Through lively discussion, personal stories, and heartfelt listener interactions—including a memorable birthday call—they share their unique, often hilarious, and deeply sincere perspectives on aging, societal expectations around age, and the real meaning of living a "full" life. The episode balances humor and vulnerability while offering wisdom on topics ranging from life choices in midlife to confronting political fears in a troubled world.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Aging and the Perception of Time

Timestamps: 00:06, 22:22, 33:30

• Listener Danielle (35 years old, feeling like time is racing by):
  “It feels like everything’s going too fast and I’m never going to catch up or I’m going to run out before I can do anything important. Any advice?” [00:11, 22:22]
• Mandy affirms how rapidly time seems to pass as we age:
  “And I said, Mandy, you've lived 33 of those increments. That's not very many. That's like 33 seconds. And it just flipped me out that that's how fast time goes when you're not a little kid anymore.” [23:21]
• Gideon contextualizes with physics and meaning:
  “Einstein said [time] is an illusion, albeit a persistent one… We really are cosmic blips. We really are here in the scope of time for two friggin seconds.” [25:13]
• Kathryn brings in pandemic context:
  “We collectively feel like time shifted dramatically during that period [Covid]. Many people feel like they lost a huge chunk, or it went by quickly and slowly at the same time, but sort of dissolved into the past.” [28:07]
• Kathryn shares research:
  “As we age, our brains process fewer images than they did when we were young… That means we take in fewer mental frames per second. With fewer frames, time seems to speed up. Like flipping through a flip book with fewer pictures, where you reach the end faster.” [29:40]

2. Debunking Ageist Limitations

Timestamps: 14:44, 16:14, 17:09

• Miriam's Story: Growing up being told “you’re too old” for ambitions, especially in the arts; it took 20 years to recover from a teacher’s words.
• Mandy’s blunt advice:
  “Anybody that tells you you're too old for anything… just tell them, go fuck yourself. That's really it in a nutshell.” [14:44]
• Gideon on continuous growth:
  “People can always learn, people can always change. There’s a million friggin stories. …The whole point of being human to me is to keep evolving and changing and discover things.” [15:07]
• Mandy’s coach’s philosophy:
  “Age is just a number… He’s getting me to do things that I thought had left me behind in the dust quite some time ago. …It's as much mental as it is the physical training.” [16:14]
• Joking about new pursuits:
  Kathryn jokes about Olympic gymnastics; Mandy wants to try competitive fencing for his age class:
  “Is there an age class? I'm 73. …He said there are... There's a 90 year age class.” [17:19]

3. The Drive to "Be Important"

Timestamps: 25:13, 27:08, 33:30

• The pressure to achieve and the fear of wasting time.
  Gideon argues:
  “We emphasize a kind of accomplishment over being as full human as you can be... I don’t think it should be lost within the work of that passion to find all aspects of yourself and be a full human being.” [25:13]
• Danielle’s mid-career/life responsibilities:
  “I can't afford to just wander off and do whatever. I gotta work, I gotta take care of my dog, gotta take care of my husband… But it just feels like, holy crap, I'm halfway between 30 and 40. When the hell did that happen?” [27:17]
• Mandy on embracing ordinary joys, not just milestones:
  “Just watch your child become one year old and realize how quickly that happened and get to work at living.” [24:12]
• Kathryn reminds that meaning is found in small moments and slowing down, not in constant hustle:
  “Funny enough, slowing down, it’s the opposite, that if you slow things down, we're able to find the cuts and trim it out more.” [34:38]

4. Living Your Values Despite Fear

Timestamps: 03:38, 04:48–09:12

• Kathryn raises the anxiety of speaking out for justice in turbulent political times:
  “How do you balance continuing to speak out for what you think is right … when you also feel the potential danger to yourself increase?” [03:38]
• Gideon’s perspective: Finds courage and encouragement from global activists.
• Mandy, self-described “humanitician”:
  “I don’t have time to worry about hatred toward me… There are individuals who will be running in 26 and in 28… Those are people I will spend my time… to support… I have had a very privileged life… I am an entertainer… I care about humanity, care about the most vulnerable…” [07:27]

5. Coping with Loss and Imperfection

Timestamps: 29:57, 31:39, 32:05

• Mandy’s reflection on the death of his father:
  “His death, in some strange way, was one of the greatest lessons of my life. Not to be in such a hurry. …To take the time to listen… If I can't hear it today, maybe I'll hear it tomorrow.” [29:57]
• Kathryn urges grace for youthful errors:
  “My God, dad, don't blame yourself for that. You were a kid. …Just don't let that language sit in your brain, that you screwed that up because your dad got cancer and you ran out of time.” [31:39]
• On taking their own advice:
  Mandy: “We need to hear this shit as much as you do, if not more. We fuck this stuff up night and day.” [33:29]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Age Limitations:
  Mandy: “Go fuck yourself.” [14:44]
  Gideon: “I have a real strong fury when I hear anything that is age related and a boundary or a limitation.” [15:07]

• On Perception of Time:
  Kathryn: “Years feel like they're going by, like, months, you know?” [29:40]
  Gideon: “Don’t waste the second worrying and judging yourself about what you’re missing. Just act. Act according to your heart.” [33:29]

• On Political Courage/Activism:
  Mandy: “I am also… a ‘humanitician.’ I care about humanity, care about the most vulnerable in the world…” [07:27]

• On Celebrating Later-Life Aspirations:
  Mandy: “Is a life goal a hobby?” [19:11]
  Kathryn: “Sure.” [19:11]

• On Advice vs. Reality:
  Kathryn: “It’s infinitely easier to give somebody else advice than to take it yourself.” [33:42]

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Listener & Caller Interactions

1. Miriam from Germany (Audio Note) [13:19]

• Shares how a music teacher’s ageist criticism left scars for decades.
• Inspires discussion on the harm of age-based limitations.

2. Danielle from New Brunswick (Live Call) [22:22]

• Birthday celebrated on air with a custom song in classic Patinkin-Grody style.
• Candidly shares her sense of “time panic” at 35.
• Receives reassurance:
  • Gideon: “You are unbelievably young. I didn’t do half the things that have been important to me… until I was in my 40s.” [32:30]
  • Kathryn: “Time is weird, especially post-pandemic. But you’re not behind.” [28:07]
  • Three-part birthday song with comedy, love, and affirmation. [36:52–38:04]
  • Gideon: “Please remember this conversation when you’re 79 years old. And please know how young you are before you’re 79.” [38:42]

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Light-Hearted "Scary or Not Scary" Game [39:30]

• The hosts riff on everyday anxieties: running into an old classmate, a goose staring at you, ambiguous voicemails, and even finding a baby bear in your sink.
• This segment brings silly energy and showcases the familial warmth and quirky humor that defines the podcast’s tone.

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Memorable, Funny, and Heartfelt Exchanges

• On Mandy’s wardrobe:
  “Hikey, comfy, cozy.” (Mandy’s shirt aesthetic) [02:39]
• On growing up as artists:
  “Clean Underwear and a Fresh Handkerchief Every Day Drops Every Wednesday”—joking about a new podcast title. [03:24]
• On what it means to be a ‘bear’ in the queer community:
  Kathryn: “You look like a bear. In the gay community, you’d be known as a bear...”
  Mandy: “What does that have to do with the price of bear?” [41:08]

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Takeaways & Closing Wisdom

• Aging is not a barrier—it's an invitation to keep evolving. There is no expiration date on growth, joy, or changing direction.
• The urge to be “important” is less fulfilling than learning to savor everyday pleasures.
• Grief, regret, and love all teach us to slow down and be present, rather than speed up to fit more in.
• It’s never too late to start something new, and limiting beliefs—especially about age—are meant to be rejected outright.
• The wisdom shared is as much for the hosts as for the listeners; no one ever has it all figured out.

Quotable Close:
"Please remember this conversation when you're 79 years old. And please know how young you are before you're 79. Please celebrate all the possibilities that come to mind. And have a wonderful time playing games and eating cake and being alive." – Gideon [38:42]

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Important Timestamps

• [00:11] – Danielle’s question: Anxiety about time passing at 35
• [03:38–09:12] – Discussion on speaking out in dangerous political times
• [13:19] – Miriam's story on ageism and healing
• [15:04] – Mandy’s “Go fuck yourself” advice for ageist gatekeepers
• [17:19] – Mandy on late-life fencing and refusing to call it a “hobby”
• [23:21] – Mandy’s story on parenting and the passage of time
• [25:13] – Gideon on relativity of time and meaning
• [27:17] – Danielle on midlife worries, work, and missed opportunities
• [29:40] – Kathryn’s research: Why time feels faster as we age
• [29:57] – Mandy’s reflections on his father's death and lessons learned
• [33:30–35:00] – The hosts’ admissions: giving advice is easier than living it
• [36:52–38:04] – Entire cast sings a heartfelt, meandering birthday song for Danielle
• [39:30] – “Scary or Not Scary”: playfully wrapping up deep topics

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Summary in a Sentence

Witty, candid, and always heartfelt, Mandy, Kathryn, and Gideon remind us that life’s race with time is best run by rejecting ageist limits, embracing all stages of becoming, and never forgetting that it’s never too late to pause, play, and start something joyfully new.

Transcript

[Mandy Patinkin]

Lemonade?

[Kathryn Grody]

Ever feel like you're behind in your own life? Today on Don't Listen to Us.

[Danielle (Caller)]

How do you deal with feeling like time is going too fast? I'll be 35 later this year, and it feels like it was only a minute ago that I was in my 20s. It feels like everything's going too fast and I'm never going to catch up or I'm going to run out before I can do anything important. Any advice?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You feel old at 35. I. I'm here to tell you how fricking young you are. I didn't do half the things that have been important to me or even discover I wanted to do them until I was in my 40s.

[Kathryn Grody]

And a perspective shift you might not expect.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You can't luxuriate in thinking about time. You just need to live every second, every minute.

[Kathryn Grody]

And a birthday moment that turns into something unforgettable.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

We're so glad. Happy birthday.

[Mandy Patinkin]

How old are you?

[Miriam (Listener)]

You want.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Are you, too?

[Kathryn Grody]

Coming up on Don't Listen to us. All right, here's a new toy that.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't know how you turn it.

[Kathryn Grody]

Mandy.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I got one of these for both my sons.

[Kathryn Grody]

It's a ball that. Okay, there you go.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

It supposedly comes back to you. It doesn't do that, honey. I do a false advert.

[Kathryn Grody]

No, it's an invention trying to reinvent the ball. Which also comes back to you if you throw it up right.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't know how to do it.

[Kathryn Grody]

No death. Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay.

[Miriam (Listener)]

And.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay. All right. Turn it off.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Turn it off. No. Now. I got to go get it.

[Kathryn Grody]

No, it turns off on its own. It turns on. Oh, I've upset the father. I've upset the father at the top of the episode.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't like wasting batteries.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay.

[Kathryn Grody]

There's no battery.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah. Did you hear about Nigeria and how everybody there is getting killed by recycling all the lead batteries?

[Mandy Patinkin]

That place. Why do you go to that place? Can we just have a nice morning, talk about. What did you have?

[Kathryn Grody]

I thought you want to talk about politics more.

[Mandy Patinkin]

When was that? What day was that really? When did I say this?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh, boy.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I want to talk about fashion for a minute.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thank you.

[Kathryn Grody]

Oh, it's a great idea, Mom. You've had so many outfits on this show, every time you have a different outfit. And, Dad, I think you really seem to like this shirt. It's a Columbia green hiking shirt. Wicks away the sweat.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I have a few of them. Some are Columbia, some are not.

[Kathryn Grody]

But you like a shirt that is practical. Wicks away the sweat and is good for a hike even when you're not hiking anytime soon. Right.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Hikey, comfy, cozy.

[Kathryn Grody]

Hikey, comfy, cozy. And, mom, you like.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I like costumes. I like expressing myself. Also, when you're older, you really have to pay attention to grooming to be taken at all seriously.

[Mandy Patinkin]

So keep that in mind for when you get older.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thank you, hon. But I find it also very amusing, kid, because I didn't know. I don't know if anybody notices that I wear a different thing on every episode and dad wears the same thing. That was amusing to me.

[Kathryn Grody]

I mean, they might notice it now that we're talking about it.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I just want to be clear. I don't wear the same shirt every time. I have four of these.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're a hygienic individual and a clean handkerchief.

[Mandy Patinkin]

That's what you should be.

[Kathryn Grody]

Is that your life motto?

[Mandy Patinkin]

That's what this show should be called.

[Kathryn Grody]

Wait, what's the full title of the show? Just the title.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Clean Underwear and a Fresh Handkerchief Every

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Day Drops Every Wednesday title.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You're including a really catchy title. I think Clean Underwear will bring the people in. I have a gift for this.

[Kathryn Grody]

I do have a question that I think we've all been confronted with in this time with this lunatic in office,

[Mandy Patinkin]

which is

[Kathryn Grody]

how do you balance continuing to speak out for what you think is right and continuing to speak out for people who have less power and support them and call insanity out when it's dangerous and hurtful and destructive when you also feel the potential danger to yourself increase? I know you guys, and especially dad at times has been frightened of government or crazy people, you know, coming after

[Mandy Patinkin]

us or you, but not frightened of speaking out.

[Kathryn Grody]

That's part of my question. Let me just ask it. Which is, you know, I think for a long time, we felt as a target, we were very far away, because who cares about, you know, Mandy speaking out? There's people who are louder and more famous and more powerful, but a little more at this day and age. With Trump, it's just like whoever seems to come under his radar and he's upset with. It's like anyone who's speaking out against him feels a little more threatened. That's not just famous people. That can be some.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, it's somebody with the whistle with ice.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yes. Who has an account online. And so I think we all feel a collective increase in our fear or anxiety about being targeted by a madman. And I'm curious how you guys balance that fear or anxiety with potentially being in the crosshairs of a lunatic. While continuing to uphold your values and do what you think is right.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Do you want to go first, my dear?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Sure. I. I really, until very recently, did not feel we were a target. Because I felt we were pretty benign. Even though we're passionate about our values. But the world's gotten so crazy. It is a little more concerning. And it's funny, because I think of all my life admiring people in fascist and authoritarian regimes that have stood for something, that have risked things, that have gone to prison. Do you know, that have lost family members? I've always admired that, starting with the Vietnamese and their passion for what was right for their country. But I never thought I'd be in a position where that would maybe be a possibility.

[Kathryn Grody]

I mean, I think nobody does who hasn't experienced it in their country until it comes knocking on your door?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I just think I get my encouragement by what everybody's doing. The activism from ordinary people. And I really read about that every day. And I get so comforted by that and encouraged. I feel we're in great company. I cannot believe what people are doing in little cities and towns. People are waking up. People are waking up to what's illegal and what's horrible and what's inhumane. And I don't know what happened to all the people in this government. I don't know how Hegseth was raised or Miller or anybody to have such grotesque, cold hearts. You know, I don't get it.

[Kathryn Grody]

Power.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You know, it's power. But something happened when they were children that I'd be really curious about. I'd like somebody do a study on each one of those people's childhoods and see if there's a common denominator.

[Kathryn Grody]

But anyway, I think we should do that study on this show.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay.

[Mandy Patinkin]

First of all, I really am grateful and highly respect any individual in our country who chooses to run for political office because they put their lives in the crosshairs of anybody who disagrees with them. It is a time when political violence is happening, and it is a horror, and it must stop. I have had a very privileged life. I am, number one, an entertainer. That is what I do. I am also a word that David Miliband loves, that I coined myself. As I am a humanitician. I care about humanity, care about the most vulnerable in the world who are being taken advantage of, discarded, deported, killed, murdered, imprisoned, and not treated according to the laws of our country, our constitution, and our government. That simply must stop. There are individuals who will be running in 26 and in 28 and probably some other elections along the way. In between. Those are people I will spend my time and precious life in. An energy to support and get out the vote to get those people elected. I don't have time to worry about hatred toward me from other people. I know that there are within the Jewish community alone because of my stance on wanting a two state solution, believing that it can happen one day if the will is there among the people. You can get to the moon, you can figure that out. You don't want to figure it out, then you won't figure it out. Will keep shedding and what do you do for it?

[Kathryn Grody]

I feel like I'm in trouble.

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, you're not in trouble. You know, it's interesting. I wake up, I have the privilege of making myself a healthy breakfast, giving my dog a healthy breakfast, going to the gym to work out so that I feel healthy. And then I come here and I really enjoy this. Now do I enjoy this kind of discussion? Absolutely not. Is it necessary and imperative that we have it 100%? Yes. So that's the price of being alive right now. Mandy, you better find a way to talk about this.

[Kathryn Grody]

God, now it looks like you're in trouble to yourself.

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[Mandy Patinkin]

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[Kathryn Grody]

going to go to our first listener question today.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Oh, God, I hope it's about cooking or something.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yes, I made a good soup last night.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Oh, she did great.

[Kathryn Grody]

Let's find out if this next question is about soup. So it's going to be a voice note. Let's put on our headphones.

[Miriam (Listener)]

Hi, Mandy. Hi, Katherine. This is Miriam from Germany. And thank you so much for your invaluable insights and stories on Instagram. I'm very much enjoying them. I wanted to tell you a story or share something I think a lot of people are familiar with. So from at least when I was a teenager, I was frequently told that I'm too old to do certain things. I think the most striking example is when I was auditioning for music schools, that I had a private singing teacher at the time who would call me at home to tell me, oh, even if you win this audition, now you can't make it because you're too old. And I never quite understood what the message behind that is, except that it's very limiting and the pain it causes. You know, you kind of believe these stories, especially when they come from people like your teachers, because you trust them. I think it took me at least 20 years to understand that this was just something a person said to me and had nothing to do with reality. And, and it took a lot of effort to stop believing that. And now in teaching my own students or even in raising my own son, I'm very aware of that, of these kinds of phrases, how much they can really affect people for long, long periods of times. And anyway, this is something I wanted to share with you. Thank you and bye bye.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Thank you, Miriam. And I think anybody that tells you you're too old for anything, there's a phrase we have in our country, it may not translate into German that well, but just tell them, go fuck yourself. That's really it in a nutshell. We can talk about this for another 20 minutes. That's the bottom line. Go fuck yourself.

[Kathryn Grody]

One of the best things we have.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I just think that's the bias, you know, the bias, Miriam, I mean, I imagine you were young when you were in school and somebody told you that. And I have a real strong fury when I hear anything that is age related and a boundary or a limitation. People can always learn, people can always change. There's a million friggin stories. Burt Young was a great actor. He didn't act until he was 35 years old for the first time. I think he got made a living in his 40s or 50s. I mean, the whole point of being human to me is to keep evolving and changing and discover things. I think sometimes I feel more of a bias about, oh, you're too young to do that. You know, I don't think it's particularly healthy to be discovered in this sort of viral world when you're 8 or 10. I don't know if Justin Bieber would have had a happier life if he'd had a slower path, but that's my thing. I think all those biases about age are just, as my husband said, fucked.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I said, go fuck yourself.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

My coach has this philosophy, come here Beck, get up here. Has this philosophy which is age is just a number he trains. There's a 93 year old woman who lifts 150 pounds. He said, you know, the average number of pull ups that a woman does, you know, of a certain age, you know, and then I Said, no, I don't. He said zero. You know how much this lady who's 85 does? You know she started at zero? She does like 20 of them and she can hold it. He. I'm getting to do things. He's getting me to do things that I thought had left me behind in the dust quite some time ago. What he says that I just love. It's as much mental as it is the physical training. It is a way of life. It's a way of thinking that is, it's the whole thing. How you eat, how you think, how you sleep, how you listen, how you act, how you use your voice.

[Kathryn Grody]

This is why I've decided to start training for the gymnastics team for the Olympics.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Idea.

[Kathryn Grody]

Never too late.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Never too late.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Never too late, kid.

[Kathryn Grody]

You will be the first.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Do you know what I'm going to be doing for it? I'm going to meet the guys of the U.S. olympic team.

[Kathryn Grody]

Are you allowed to say that yet?

[Mandy Patinkin]

No, I'm not. I didn't say anything yet. I had a connection and I said to this connection of mine, is there an age class for the Olympics? Because I learned how to stage and screen fence for the Princess Bride. But you know when I put on the equipment for my teacher Bob Anderson, while we were doing the Princess Bride, and then we did it for real and he killed me 20 times in less than three seconds. But. But I said I would actually like to practice that and learn that and learn the moves and the stretches and the lunges and. Is there an age class? I'm 73. Is there? He said there are. There's 60, 70, 50, 60, 70, 89. There's a 90 year age class.

[Kathryn Grody]

It's a new hobby for you.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It's not a hobby. I intend to add that to my training regimen.

[Kathryn Grody]

How would that not be a hobby?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Well, what's a thing something you do

[Kathryn Grody]

that you're not getting paid for?

[Mandy Patinkin]

What's a something you do is not a hobby, it's something you do.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

A hobby to me it's not diminishing.

[Mandy Patinkin]

A hobby to me is like the

[Kathryn Grody]

relationships about these words that you hate the word.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't hate even where you don't even. My father said we don't hate. We may dislike something intensely, but we don't hate.

[Kathryn Grody]

What's wrong with hobbies?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't like the word hobby. Can I just say that he doesn't

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

like it because it's diminutive, it's diminishes.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Let me also take a page out of Miriam, let me take a page out of mirrors.

[Kathryn Grody]

You do fencing for a while and you really enjoy it. And you get good at it and you spend a lot of time on it. I love that for you.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And I may not, but let me just say what I said to Maren. Go fuck yourself. Let me bring it around for a second.

[Kathryn Grody]

You didn't tell Miriam to go fuck herself?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, she said.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I just said to say it to a friend who says you're too old. So you're calling my desire. You're calling my desire to get back into fencing and get myself trained and to get into my age class. You're calling it a hobby? I'm thinking is an incredible life. Is a life goal a hobby?

[Kathryn Grody]

Sure.

[Mandy Patinkin]

To you it's a matter of semantics, I guess.

[Kathryn Grody]

I'm so sorry that I diminished your new Olympic fencing aspirations for the 70

[Mandy Patinkin]

and 80 year old category.

[Kathryn Grody]

I don't know what got into me.

[Mandy Patinkin]

This has been an intense morning. Can we have some more hobby like questions?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I want to say something to Miriam that I didn't get to say. Miriam, I'm so sorry that impacted you for so long. And I bet you're a really great teacher that doesn't put those limitations on your. Less your child. So good for you for recovering from that.

[Kathryn Grody]

Dad, you had a power nap. That was great. We're gonna put in our. We're gonna put in our headphones.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay.

[Kathryn Grody]

And we are gonna welcome our guest here. Just getting our headphones in there. So we have a live caller on the line from Fredericton, New Brunswick in Canada.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Host of the Dead Callers.

[Kathryn Grody]

That's right. Mom, dad, this is Danielle. Hello, Danielle.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Hi, Danielle.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Hi, Danielle. Hi.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

How are you?

[Danielle (Caller)]

I am good. I'm a little nervous, but I'm good.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Why are you nervous? Because I'm a nervous wreck 24 7. What are you nervous about?

[Danielle (Caller)]

I just really excited to talk to you guys.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Tell me where you're from again.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

New Brunswick, Canada.

[Danielle (Caller)]

I'm from. I'm actually from Toronto. I just moved to New Brunswick a couple months ago.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Canada, honey.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Oh, New Brunswick, Canada. Well, there's a lot of New Brunswick.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You live in a sane country. It used to have a reputation for being boring. I so envy any Canadian right now. Danielle.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Yeah, These days boring is.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yes, I can promise you one thing. You say you're a little nervous talking to us. After. Just after a few more seconds, it'll pass, believe me. Because you'll. You'll be. You'll be pitying us. You'll feel pity for us trying to

[Kathryn Grody]

get off the call.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You'll try to get off the call. You'll think, sorry, you called. This is the worst mistake of my life.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Never.

[Kathryn Grody]

Daniel, what's New Brunswick known for?

[Danielle (Caller)]

Well, my dad is actually from the north of New Brunswick, so not where I currently live. And that part of New Brunswick's known for the Acadians, which are like a subset of French Canadians who actually got deported from Canada in, like, the 1700s and then came back. If you go down to Louisiana and you get the Cajuns, those are actually Acadians that were deported there.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

So that's been a practice for a long time.

[Kathryn Grody]

People have been kicking folks out of everywhere since time began.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Basically the English came and the Acadians were like, no, we don't want to sign an unconditional allegiance or whatever. And they were like, okay, well, you can leave then.

[Kathryn Grody]

Danielle sent us a great question and we're going to have her read it to us. Danielle, please go ahead.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Okay, so this is my original email. Hi, Mandy and Catherine. I love you both so much. You always cheer me up when I see you on Instagram. And the Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies. My question for your podcast is a bit existential. How do you deal with feeling like time is going too fast? I'll be 35. Well, actually, I'm 35 today, but at the time I wrote this, I'll be 35 later this year, and it feels like it was only a minute ago that I was in my 20s. It feels like everything's going too fast and I'm never going to catch up or I'm going to run out before. Before I can do anything important. Any advice?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

And today is your birthday, Danielle.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Today is my birthday.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

[Kathryn Grody]

I actually, I wrote Danielle an original birthday song that we'll sing at the end.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Ok. Really?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Okay. We could sing her several birthday songs.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And never answer the question.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I've got all time.

[Danielle (Caller)]

That's exciting.

[Kathryn Grody]

It's three part harmony. It's sort of like baroque style. You'll love it.

[Mandy Patinkin]

May I answer Danielle's question?

[Danielle (Caller)]

I've seen something.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Danielle, you ask a great question. And I have something that happened in my life that I will never forget. And it changed my life because it changed my perception of time. And what happened was we had our first son, first child, Isaac, in 1982. And then along came his birthday one year later. And it came in my mind one second later, after he was born. And I remember so well as a child and for most of my Pre meeting Catherine, life, it just seemed to take forever to get to where I was at that moment. And then I witnessed my son and I was 33 and I witnessed my son becoming. One year had passed since his birth. And I said, and I said, Mandy, you've lived 33 of those increments. That's not very many. That's like 33 seconds. And it just flipped me out that that's how fast time goes when you're not a little kid anymore and when you're now little kids like Catherine and Mandy, you don't, you can't luxuriate in thinking about time. You just need to live every second, every minute. And there are people that I know who've had cancer and things they say, oh, that's, that's what woke me up. And then I realized how to live. I don't want people to get some difficult, tragic, shocking thing happen to their life that teaches them how to live. Trust me. Just watch your child become one year old and realize how quickly that happened and get to work at living.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Danielle, it's so amazing. You called and you're very obsessed with time. And I am 79 and I'm obsessed with time. I'm really obsessed with time. And this whole idea in physics that time is a construct, you know, Einstein said it is an illusion, albeit a persistent one. Albeit a persistent one. And you said something that you don't know if you have time to do something important. And I don't know if you know. Have you discovered Gabor Mate? I'm not sure if I'm saying his name right. It's very interesting because I just came accidentally upon a moment of his. He's big a doctor philosopher that talks about trauma and how it affects people. And one of the things he said that he was so sorry. One of his regrets in life is that he worked all the time so hard to be a doctor and to do something important. And his biggest regret is he didn't play more that he didn't have time to play with friends, with family, to get pleasures in life. And I think we emphasize a kind of accomplishment over being as full human as you can be. You really, we really are cosmic blips. We really are here in the scope of time for two friggin seconds. Do you know. And there's this pressure to be important and if you have a passion, you're lucky for something you do or create. But I don't think it should be lost within the work of that passion to find all aspects of yourself and, and Be a full human being with all the pleasures and discoveries and surprising yourself within that limited time, you know, Danielle, what.

[Kathryn Grody]

What's going on in your life right now? Why do you feel unsettled?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Beautiful question.

[Danielle (Caller)]

I don't know that I feel unsettled, exactly. It's just. It's just been especially noticeable, especially because Covid, we were all locked inside. So time just Suddenly was like 2020 when we all went into lockdown. Feels like two seconds ago. And it's like we're coming up on six years. Like, as I get older, I just, like, feel like this almost like panic. Like time is going way too fast, and I don't have the ability to, like, just do whatever I want. Unfortunately, because capitalism, you know, I can't afford to just, you know, wander off and do whatever. I gotta work, I gotta take care of my dog, gotta take care of my husband. You know, I've got life things to do. But it just feels like, holy crap, I'm halfway between 30 and 40. When the hell did that happen?

[Mandy Patinkin]

What is your work? What's your work?

[Danielle (Caller)]

I work at a bank. It's just like I work in the back office of a bank.

[Kathryn Grody]

I think bringing up this thing of lockdown and Covid is really important because I think we collectively feel like time shifted dramatically during that period. And we're all sort of catching up from that. Many people feel like they lost a huge chunk, or it went by quickly and slowly at the same time, but sort of dissolved into the past. And depending on where we were at different points. I mean, high schoolers, you know, kids who were starting high school lost that. That whole chunk. You know, like you were just starting in your 30s, you know, I was 33 when lockdown hit. And this whole decade feels like it went by in a flash. And I think it's really confusing. I did do a little research on this, Danielle. I wanted to share one thing that I discovered. Some people say that there's actually a physiological reason we feel like time is going faster. As we age, our brains process fewer images than they did when we were young. Over time, our neural networks grow larger and more complex. So electrical signals have to travel farther and move more slowly. That means we take in fewer mental frames per second. With fewer frames, time seems to speed up. Like flipping through a flip or book with fewer pictures where you reach the end faster. I thought that was kind of wild because I'm having the same experience it is. Years feel like they're going by, like, months, you know?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Beautiful, Gib.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Thank you I want that quote. I want that information.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yeah, he'll give it to you.

[Kathryn Grody]

It's on your podcast.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I wanted to mention something that I was struck by, if I can remember it, I know it had to do with Isaac, our older son, saying. Which I don't know it, in Spanish. Please forgive me. There is nothing so bad that good cannot come from it. We lost, some of us two or three years during that pandemic. You don't get it back. I was an incredibly manic kid. I didn't take time to breathe and listen and ask questions. And then my father died when I was 18, and I didn't get to have quiet, calm talk with him. And I robbed myself of that because I hadn't grown up enough until after he died. His death, in some strange way, was one of the greatest lessons of my life. Not to be in such a hurry to take more time to. Even if I'm still manic at times, to take the time to listen to my wife and my children, my friends, hear what they have to say. If I can't hear it today, maybe I'll hear it tomorrow. And so, like that saying of Isaacs, there's nothing so bad that good cannot come from it. A tragedy for the whole world's population that we can never get back has gifts in it that we all know there were certain kinds of gifts along with the tragedy. And I just think, you know, I don't know what to do other than try to embrace the gifts that, you know, I learned about taking more time because I screwed it up with my dad, and I don't want to screw it up with anybody else.

[Kathryn Grody]

My God, dad, don't blame yourself for that. You were a kid. That's not your.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Well, I was 18. You know, we all thought we were so grown up. I don't blame myself. But I'm grateful for the lesson because it really. It really got into my being that, you know, don't let that happen again with somebody that matters to you.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah. Just don't let that language sit in your brain, that you screwed that up because your dad got cancer and you ran out of time.

[Mandy Patinkin]

There were a lot of lessons that we learn when we lose someone we love more than we can ever imagine, which only tells you that loss, which is a part of living, is also tragic, but also one of the great learning areas of our existential beings. And so we're all in the same boat.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

You know, I think, Danielle, what's really hard to practice but essential is not to sit there worrying about time you know, you feel old at 35. I'm here to tell you how frigging young you are. You are unbelievably young. I didn't do half the things that have been important to me or even discover I wanted to do them until I was in my 40s. Do you know? So, to have a broader concept about time, I try to understand certain elementary physics concepts to help me. Even though I can't really understand them, I'm drawn to the aspect of energy never dying. All these different experiences have how we experience time. But don't waste the second worrying and judging yourself about what you're missing. Just act. Act according to your heart. Give yourself time for the joy at the bank or after the bank.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Do you know the reason I like doing this podcast that just dawned on me is because we're talking to ourselves as much as we're talking to you. We need to hear this shit as much as you do, if not more. We fuck this stuff up night and day.

[Kathryn Grody]

Well, it's infinitely easier to give somebody else advice than to take it yourself.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I wish we could do what Kathryn just said more often, but we don't give up.

[Kathryn Grody]

This brings up another idea that came up in working on your show. You did a play recently and you were working on cutting it down and trimming some stuff off. And the amazing phenomenon in storytelling that sometimes when you're trying to cut the time down and make it shorter, your impulse is to speed things up. But what you lose when, when you're speeding up is the clarity, the emotional connection, the depth of feeling with what you're trying to transmit. So, funny enough, slowing down, it's the opposite, that if you slow things down, we're able to find the cuts and trim it out more.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What George Bernard Shaw said, I think

[Kathryn Grody]

that's applicable to life too. When you feel like you're running out of time. I mean, again, I'm talking to myself. I feel like I'm running out of time. The impulse is to speed up and do more and fit more in, when actually it can feel slower if I slow down and do less and take more in.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

But also when you slow down, what you are doing and the experiences you are having are richer.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And more, you know, because you're not speeding. If I have. I used to meet, you know, 15 friends a day and work, and now

[Kathryn Grody]

she only means 14.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

What are you doing to celebrate your birthday?

[Danielle (Caller)]

Not much. My husband's at work, but when he comes home, he'll make me cake and we'll have Dinner. And I've got a new video game that I'll be playing.

[Kathryn Grody]

What's the video game?

[Danielle (Caller)]

The new Metroid prime game.

[Kathryn Grody]

What happens in Metroid Prime?

[Danielle (Caller)]

I'm not 100% sure of the story, but you play as a woman in a power suit and you run around and shoot aliens and essentially.

[Kathryn Grody]

Will your husband be playing this with you?

[Danielle (Caller)]

Not this one, no. This isn't a co op game.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Can you explain to me what that means? I don't know what a co op game is.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Oh, like a game that you play cooperatively so like you're both playing at the same time.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You mean another person somewhere else in

[Kathryn Grody]

the universe or in your living room or like.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Or in your living room? Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

Oh, my God. Danielle, can you turn my dad into a gamer right now? Is that possible?

[Danielle (Caller)]

I mean, video games are great. I love them. And basically there's a game for any kind of situation you might want to experience. And they've been shown to be good for your cognitive health, like keeping you sharp.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It's a board game to ride Monopoly in the old days when I was growing up. So you'd much rather reach out for a video game than a board game in a living room situation with one person or several that are over?

[Danielle (Caller)]

If I've got people over. Having a board game is fun. There's lots of really fun board games, but video games, like, for instance, I have a weekly thing I do with my two friends who live back in Ontario, and my husband and the four of us, we just play a game together for like an hour on Mondays. And it's really nice because we can just like chat while we're doing it and it's just a fun way to connect.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy, happy, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday,

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday, we're so glad Happy birthday.

[Mandy Patinkin]

How old are you?

[Kathryn Grody]

Are you one?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Happy birthday. Are you three?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Four?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Five? Are you six? Are you seven?

[Kathryn Grody]

Eight, nine?

[Mandy Patinkin]

Ten? Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy have a happy life, have a happy day have a happy, happy, happy birthday.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

And as we say, we're so glad you were born. Danielle.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yes.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Celebrate yourself today.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Well, we say it a little differently. We say we're so fucking happy you were born.

[Kathryn Grody]

And I bet you thought that was the end of the song, but happy,

[Mandy Patinkin]

happy, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy you

[Kathryn Grody]

were born 35 years in such a little time. Once upon a time, there was no

[Mandy Patinkin]

Daniel, but now there is, and this is her day. Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday Happy, happy, happy birthday, happy Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday. Happy.

[Kathryn Grody]

Have a happy, happy, happy day at night. And next year you'll have another one.

[Mandy Patinkin]

This will be your longest birthday ever.

[Kathryn Grody]

And we'll call you.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You will never call.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Oh, my God.

[Mandy Patinkin]

If you did birthday again because you're worried about time. And you can spend your whole life listening to us sing Happy Birthday to you.

[Kathryn Grody]

That's the end of the song you'll really love. Cause it comes from Kathryn.

[Mandy Patinkin]

It goes like this.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy birthday. Please remember this conversation when you're 79 years old. And please know how young you are before you're 79. Please celebrate all the possibilities that come to mind. And have a wonderful time playing games and eating cake and being alive.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Bravo.

[Kathryn Grody]

Bravo.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Yay.

[Kathryn Grody]

Thank you so much.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Thank you so much for calling.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Thank you so much. This was great.

[Mandy Patinkin]

We'll raise a glass to you tonight.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay.

[Danielle (Caller)]

Thank you so much.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Bye. Daniel.

[Kathryn Grody]

The hang time's when we play a fun little game to finish the show, or something like that. A favorite oldie, but a goodie. The game. Scary. Not scary. Okay. That's how we're finishing the show today. So I'm going to tell you something. You say scary or not scary.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Okay.

[Kathryn Grody]

Running into someone from high school at the grocery store.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Potentially very scary.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Not scary.

[Kathryn Grody]

A goose staring at you,

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

not scary.

[Kathryn Grody]

The movie the Exorcist.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Scary.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Scary.

[Kathryn Grody]

A phone message that just says, call me.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Really scary. Who the is it? They don't say their name or anything. They just say, call me or expect me to remember what number out of a billion numbers. Or not say their name.

[Kathryn Grody]

What if it's from me? Says call me.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Not scary.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Scary.

[Kathryn Grody]

Okay. Foot massage.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Not scary.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Not scary.

[Kathryn Grody]

Okay. A bear right outside your door.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Scary.

[Kathryn Grody]

Tapping on the door, but the door is locked. Okay. A baby bear found in your sink.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Scarier.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

No, not scary. Poor thing.

[Kathryn Grody]

Because where's the mom?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah. Right outside your door.

[Kathryn Grody]

I'm scared. And if you came home and there was an adorable, like, newly born bear in your sink, doors are closed, terrified mother bear is nowhere to be around. Terrifying. What do you do?

[Mandy Patinkin]

The mother's summoned.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Call the animal people.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Call the police, the animal and the fire department.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

Who are the animal people?

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I don't know. The woman that took care of the bird that we found once.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I would also get out of the house.

[Kathryn Grody]

You wouldn't worry that they'll take the bear and you won't get to raise it.

[Mandy Patinkin]

And I don't want to raise the bear. I want the mother to raise the bear. Do I look like a bear. Parent.

[Kathryn Grody]

You look like a bear. In the gay community, you'd be. In the gay community, you'd be known as a bear in the gay community. I'm just saying.

[Mandy Patinkin]

What does that have to do with the price of bear?

[Kathryn Grody]

I'm saying, visually, with your big beard, in the gay community, you'd be a bear.

[Mandy Patinkin]

But in the hetero community or in the Christian community or the Jewish community, I think you have some problems here in this area. I think you've stepped.

[Kathryn Grody]

Do you know about bears?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I do.

[Kathryn Grody]

And as men, not the animal bears.

[Mandy Patinkin]

As men? No. I don't know.

[Kathryn Grody]

Like in the queer community, you don't know what being a bear is? Bears are like, kind of burly, bearded, like big.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

In the olden days, you wouldn't have

[Kathryn Grody]

somewhere muscular, chubby, like, you know, big. Clearly by my reaction.

[Mandy Patinkin]

I have no idea.

[Kathryn Grody]

Bearded guys?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I have no idea.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yeah, you might not be.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

I listen to an amazing. I listen to amazing song. Have you ever heard Kaufman's song about feminine, masculine, Honey, Irving Kaufman?

[Mandy Patinkin]

No.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh, it's hilarious. Well, I can say it poorly. We used to know if feminine was feminine and masculine was masculine, but now Uncle Joe looks like Auntie Lillian as he's.

[Kathryn Grody]

You know, it's very progressive for the 1920s.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah, it was very unjudgmental.

[Mandy Patinkin]

You can really dance to that.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Grody]

Can I just say one thing before we go today? I just want to say, if there was a baby bear in your sink, I do think just be open to having a beautiful relationship raising that bear. It would treat you as its parents. You could play fun games. It could get along with your dogs. It doesn't know it's a bear. I'm just saying, if that happens, be open to possibilities. Well, thanks for tuning in this week, folks. We want to hear from you. Send us questions, stories, advice. Have you ever found a bear in your sink? Is it your birthday? Would you like to sing a birthday song to Danielle that we can send to her?

[Mandy Patinkin]

I don't want to thank people for tuning in. I want to apologize on behalf of myself.

[Kathryn Grody]

Yes.

[Mandy Patinkin]

Anybody else who feels that we did this to you. We apologize and I'll try not to do it again.

[Kathryn Grody]

In time, you'll forgive us. You can send us an [e-mail] or check out our socials for an easy way to send us a voice note. Our team reads all your comments and reviews, and we're loving them. Thank you so much for being here and tuning in. And just remember, don't Listen to Us.

[Gideon Grody Patinkin]

Oh no, that guy again. Please banish him.

[Kathryn Grody]

Foreign. Don't Listen to Us is a Lemonada Media original hosted by Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody and Gideon Grody Patinkin. Created by Katrina Onstad, Debbie Pacheco and Gideon Grody Patinkin. Executive producers are Kathryn Grody, Gideon Grody Patinkin, Mandy Patinkin, Katrina Onstadt, Debbie Pacheco, Jessica Cordova Kramer and Stephanie Whittles Wax. Our engineer is Ryan Derringer of Welterweight Sound. Video and audio production by Mark Whiteway of Bellows Media. You can watch on CNN.com watch or the CNN app. If you haven't subscribed to Lemonada Media Premium yet, now's the perfect time. You can hear Don't Listen to Us completely ad free. Plus you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like behind the scenes conversations, questions so weird they didn't make it on air, Becky the Dog shenanigans and more. Just tap the subscribe button on Apple podcasts, head to lemonadapremium.com to subscribe on any other app, or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your prime membership. That's lemonadapremium.com don't miss out.