Podcast Summary: Don't Listen to Us

Episode: Toxic Parents, Immigrant Stories and Weird Hobbies
Hosts: Mandy Patinkin, Kathryn Grody, Gideon Grody Patinkin
Date: February 25, 2026
Producer: Lemonada Media

Overview

This episode of Don’t Listen to Us explores the complexities of immigrant family histories, practical boundaries with parents, and the delights of unexpected hobbies. As always, the trio balances humor, warmth, and candid personal revelations while taking listener questions about immigration stories and how to navigate “surface” relationships with toxic parents. The family’s playful dynamic and willingness to be vulnerable make this episode especially rich for listeners seeking both comfort and new perspective.

Segment 1: Family Banter, Fitness & Life Updates

Timestamps: 00:11 – 04:05

• The episode opens with light banter about Kathryn’s phone ringer ("Mandy Patinkin, Mandy Patinkin," [00:24]), family tech habits, and Mandy’s new fitness regimen.
• Mandy gushes about his new training routine, extolling the benefits of aging well, gym communities in their 70s–90s, and his newfound enthusiasm:

  "I've been on it now for two weeks of diet. Strict as can be. I can't tell you how much better I feel… it was like a game changer." – Mandy ([03:00])

• Gideon jokes about the possibility of Mandy’s "romantic excitement" for his trainer ([03:14]), prompting laughter from Kathryn.

Segment 2: Listener Question—Family Immigrant Histories

Timestamps: 04:05 – 19:50

Kathryn’s Story

• Kathryn shares her paternal family’s immigration from Russia (1904, just before the Russian Revolution), her grandfather’s garment factory in Brooklyn, and the mysterious, abrupt move to California:

  “In the middle of the night in 1925, my grandfather put his wife, his three children in a Model T Ford... Changed the name from Gorodetsky to Grody.” – Kathryn ([06:06])

• Discussion on why the move was so sudden—possible “garment wars” involving Italian and Jewish mafias in NYC in the 1920s.
• Reflection on generational change, assimilation, and the bittersweet loss of a beloved family photograph (destroyed by dogs licking off the horse glue, [07:52]).
• Emphasis on the myth of America as “the best country on earth that never did anything bad” propagated in immigrant households ([08:25]).
• Fond memories of childhood candies (Abazaba, Almond Roca) and family stores ([08:51]).

Mandy’s Story

• Mandy references their appearance on Finding Your Roots and admits difficulty remembering all genealogical details ([11:24]).
• His grandfather Max and family emigrated from Belarus; reveals how border changes cause confusion in family lore ([12:22]).
• In the Patinkin family, four brothers married four sisters, all first cousins, which becomes fodder for jokey reflection on inherited quirks:

  “So that is the excuse that many in our family use for whatever insanity you think we behold.” – Mandy ([13:08])

• A broader reflection by Kathryn on the radicalism of America’s founding ideals and the ongoing immigrant drive:

  “This idea that any human being has a right to pursue happiness… I never realized what a radical idea that was in the world.” – Kathryn ([13:33])

Political Context & Personal Views

• The family discusses the current political climate, ICE raids, and anti-immigrant sentiment, making powerful historical parallels:

  "Every person who's not a Native American in this country is an immigrant or brought here by force from slavery.” – Mandy ([19:40])

• Kathryn’s hope: “But I'm hoping that the extreme of this will really swing back and help us make a fair system here for everybody.” ([17:03])
• Gideon and Kathryn highlight community resistance and mutual aid—a mix of humor and activism (e.g., protests in inflatable animal costumes, [17:22]).

Segment 3: Listener Question—Facing Surface Relationships with Parents (with guest “Known”)

Timestamps: 20:10 – 41:34

Guest’s Story

• “Known,” a listener from Southern California, describes surface relationships with emotionally volatile parents, boundaries, and the grief of missed potential in family connections ([21:33]–[24:48]).

  “…what might have been, what could have been… I suppose because I’m at a place in my life where the relationships I value the most are ones where I can truly be fully, infallibly, me, myself.” – Known ([22:38])

• Reflecting on repair attempts with parents, including coffee with an estranged father after 15 years ([24:53]).
• Emphasis on boundaries: “We're not going to talk about anything in the past. I want to get to understand who you are as a person now.” – Known ([25:43])

Kathryn’s Advice

• Advocates for “chosen kin” when blood relationships are too costly emotionally.

  “It really depends on what it costs you in your present health and your present well being. How much of that do you want to sacrifice to repair what might not be repairable?” – Kathryn ([28:11])

• Recounts her own family boundaries at a funeral as an example of honoring emotional truth ([28:55]).

Mandy and Gideon's Perspective

• Mandy reflects on volatile personalities, family history, and the paradox that "the worst comes out" with those we feel safest with.

  “I do know that for me… the worst, the best comes out of me, and the worst can come out of me to be witnessed.” – Mandy ([32:44])

• Credits Gideon and family for helping him grow and not giving up.

  “I’ve been blessed with people that don’t give up on me... makes me better.” – Mandy ([34:27])

• Gideon underscores the importance of repair, listening, and the difference between people who facilitate growth versus those unable or unwilling to change ([35:23]–[36:33]):

Known’s Reflections & Closing Thoughts

• Known describes empathy for his father from understanding generational trauma, remains open to gradual connection:

  “We’re all gonna die… I don’t want to give up on [the chance of growth]... I’m proud of myself for getting to that place.” – Known ([38:43])

• Kathryn warmly encourages embracing small, even “surface-level,” connections if they offer peace: “There are so many varieties of kinds of relationships, and... there’s all gradations that can have value depending on what you need from that particular person.” ([40:25])
• Mandy: “Life is a messy thing. And, you know, for better or worse, it is.” ([41:08])

Segment 4: Hobbies—Extreme Ironing and More

Timestamps: 41:40 – 45:20

• Gideon pitches “extreme ironing” as a possible new hobby for Mandy, who takes the idea to its absurd, enthusiastic extreme:

  “I'm gonna get 10 different irons. And 10 different ironing boards. I'm gonna probably buy 30 [shirts] just in case I burn some.” – Mandy ([42:38])

• Playful speculation about ironing in Norway under the northern lights, sled-dog ironing, and the perils of ironing in Costa Rica’s humidity.
• Kathryn fondly remembers Aunt Ida's meditative ironing and notes modern-day clothing doesn't even need ironing ([44:32]).
• Family agrees the next episode will not be dedicated solely to ironing ([45:02]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You wouldn't be here in this country without open welcoming arms to your ancestors at some point in history.” – Mandy ([04:08])
• “Hurt people, hurt people. And the fact that you have been able to overcome that own pain... is a real victory of your own humanity and your own healing.” – Kathryn ([40:36])
• “What's so bad about being woke when all you gotta do is wake up?” – Mandy ([19:55])
• “That's why I like her more.” – Gideon, joking about Kathryn’s generosity with food ([10:41])
• “Don’t listen to us. I really think that needs to be printed on my forehead.” – Mandy ([30:56])

Episode Flow & Tone

• The conversation glides effortlessly from humor to gravitas, punctuated with asides, loving teasing, and mutual support.
• The hosts model emotional self-awareness (“I’m so jealous,” “I’ve made some progress, and I’ve made a lot of not-progress”) and forthrightness.
• They create a safe space for vulnerability, particularly for listeners wrestling with family pain, boundaries, and questions about duty versus self-preservation.

Standout Timestamps

• [04:05] – Mariana’s question prompts stories of immigration, assimilation, and family lore.
• [13:33] – Kathryn’s powerful reflection on America’s ideal of “pursuing happiness.”
• [20:10] – Known’s moving call about navigating relationships with toxic parents.
• [32:44] – Mandy’s open discussion of anger, healing, and redemption within family.
• [42:29] – Gideon introduces “extreme ironing;” a moment of levity and playful absurdity.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a crystallization of the show’s best qualities: raw honesty, forgiveness, community-mindedness, and the power of storytelling to link personal history with the present. Whether they’re untangling family trauma, urging kindness to immigrants, or finding meditation in ironing, Mandy, Kathryn, and Gideon offer both laughter and solace for listeners who crave both wisdom and the reassurance of shared struggle.

Call to Action

• Listeners are encouraged to share their own stories—especially from immigrants or those walking the line between distance and hope with complicated parents.
• For those looking to get involved, the hosts recommend:
  • Indivisible (indivisible.org)
  • National Immigrant Justice Center (immigrantjustice.org)

“Life is a messy thing... for better or worse, it is. Some wonderful blessings and some amazing challenges. I wish you everything.”
— Mandy Patinkin ([41:08])