Podcast Summary: "Why Don’t I Feel like an Adult? And Revising Holiday Traditions"

Don’t Listen To Us with Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody (feat. Gideon Grody Patinkin & guest Sarah Levy) – Lemonada Media
Date: December 10, 2025

Main Theme

This episode blends existential musings with family chaos, focusing on what “feeling like an adult” actually means in modern life, and how holiday (especially Jewish) traditions change over time. Hosts Mandy, Kathryn, and son Gideon—alongside guest Sarah Levy—explore listener questions with their signature mix of humor, candor, and warmth, sharing memories, recipes, and advice for revising rituals to fit evolving families.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Opening Banter and Family Chaos

• Tone: Immediate warmth, banter, and self-deprecation dominate, including pajama preferences and a naked encounter with a "bear" (actually an umbrella).
  • Notable Moment: Gideon’s “bear incident.” (00:53-02:14)
  • Quote:
    "And I was naked because I was sleeping..." – Gideon, explaining his midnight 'bear scare' (01:26)

2. Food, Entertaining, and Recipes (05:24-13:00)

• Listener question about favorite dishes for entertaining.
• Mandy and Kathryn detail favorite Jewish dishes and family traditions—stuffing, cranberry sauce, charoset, lamb marinade, kugel, and Hanukkah latkes, noting sometimes making extra to enjoy leftovers.
  • Quote:
    “We make more of my mother’s stuffing for Thanksgiving, so there’ll be leftovers because we love it.” – Mandy (06:01)
• Kathryn reveals hiding chocolate cake for herself.
  • “I have been known to hide pieces of [flourless chocolate cake].” – Kathryn (06:55)
• Conversation turns nostalgic about New Year’s Eve, with a shared dislike of big parties, and stories of childhood food memories—tuna burgers, brisket, rice pudding, and cheesecake.
  • “I didn’t have to eat it [tongue] when they served it because the little bumps on the tongue sent me!” – Mandy about childhood aversion (10:14)
  • "You’re trying to look hot and sexy." – Gideon teasing Mandy about skipping fattening dairy (10:57)
• Kathryn once 'saved' Mandy's eyebrows from being shaved for a play. (11:18)

3. Listener Question: "Why Don't I Feel Like An Adult?" (14:42-21:18)

• Gemma (Australia) asks: At 29, she worries she’s never “felt like an adult." (15:03-16:28)
• Kathryn: Adulthood is a personal, evolving idea—often linked to separating from parents or making independent choices.
  • “I think you keep redefining what being an adult means. It’s an individual thumbprint.” – Kathryn (17:21)
  • She recalls feeling adult when loving someone her parents hated. (16:50)
• Mandy: Embraces childlike qualities, denies ever really feeling “grown up.”
  • “I’m not an adult. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. I’m a child. I will be till the day I die.” – Mandy (18:49)
• Gideon: Associations with rites of passage didn’t trigger adult feelings; driving alone did.
  • “Driving a car by yourself was like, I can bring this body anywhere now. And that was a magical, magical feeling.” – Gideon (20:16)
• The family agrees the concept is fluid and personal; no universal “adult” moment.

4. Traditions, Hanukkah, and Reinventing Rituals (22:00-39:08)

• Call-a-friend: Sarah Levy joins for a discussion on how Jewish holidays, especially Hanukkah, evolve in adulthood.
  • Nostalgic stories of large family celebrations now lost as relatives pass away.
  • “It’s completely different. Partly because everyone who was in charge of it is dead now.” – Sarah (26:41)
  • The sense of loss, nostalgia, and the gradual shrinking of festivities as families change.
• Kathryn misses childhood-style Hanukkahs but admits smaller celebrations now prompt nostalgia.
  • “It makes me very nostalgic for when we had a lot of people over. Now it’s just sort of immediate family.” – Kathryn (28:12)
• Sarah describes adapting traditions: hosting parties without presents, inventing new recipes (scallion and hint of sweet potato in latkes).
  • Quote:
    “We have created a new latke recipe... scallions and some sweet potato.” – Sarah (29:01)
• The group discusses the tension of maintaining old traditions vs. inventing new ones; the pressure to give children the same experience their parents had vs. being honest about change.
  • “Sometimes nowadays we go, oh, that’s not really necessary. But we don’t always make new traditions.” – Gideon (35:39)
  • Mandy advocates letting kids invent new rituals:
    “Let them invent a new tradition. I think they’d feel very proud about that.” (37:16)

Notable Hanukkah Memories & Insights

• Mandy: Baseball cards, jacks, and Lionel train set accessories as favorite presents.
• Sarah: Family arguments about how many songs to sing; her father always wanted more tradition (songs, rituals) vs. others just wanted to eat.
  • “The singing feels important. The lighting the candles feels really important. And talking about light and miracles and hope feels important.” – Sarah (33:24)
• Kathryn: The power of traditions that “bring light”—emphasizing hope as a form of resistance.
  • "'Hope is an act of resistance.' So that’s what I’ve decided to take with me on this day.” – Kathryn (34:29)

5. On the Evolution of Rituals and Joy (37:52-39:08)

• Sarah shares the tale of the Hanukkah candle dilemma (Hillel vs. Shammai): Light one candle and build up hope, rather than diminish it:
  • “There was a disagreement…should we start with eight candles and decrease, or light more each night…Hillel won. Who else is more fun?” – Sarah (38:29)
• Increasing joy, light, giving, and hope becomes the thematic takeaway for holidays.

6. Creating New Traditions & Songs (39:01-41:00)

• New Hanukkah song “Puppy for Hanukkah” (by Daveed Diggs) and Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song” are proposed for the next generation.
  • “Can I come to your house for one night of Hanukkah?” – Kathryn (40:12)
  • “24/7 joy, hope, and miracles.” – Sarah, warmly accepting (40:29)
• Plan to exchange latke-making lessons and create fresh family joys.

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On feeling like an adult:

  • "I’m not an adult. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. I’m a child. I will be till the day I die." – Mandy (18:49)
  • “I think you keep redefining what being an adult means. It’s an individual thumbprint.” – Kathryn (17:21)
  • “Driving a car by yourself was like, I can bring this body anywhere now...” – Gideon (20:16)

• On evolving tradition:

  • “It’s completely different. Partly because everyone who was in charge of it is dead now.” – Sarah (26:41)
  • "Let them invent a new tradition. I think they'd feel very proud about that." – Mandy (37:16)
  • "Hope is an act of resistance." – Kathryn (34:29)

• Funny/Endearing:

  • “I was naked because I was sleeping.” – Gideon, recounting his ‘bear’ scare (01:26)
  • “I have been known to hide pieces of that [flourless chocolate cake].” – Kathryn (06:55)

Important Segments – Timestamps

• Bear/Umbrella Incident: 00:53–02:14
• Favorite Dishes & Leftovers: 05:24–13:00
• Listener: Feeling like an adult? 14:42–21:18
• Sarah Levy & Evolving Hanukkah Traditions: 22:00–39:08
• Creating New Traditions: 35:39–39:08

Wrap Up: Tone & Takeaways

With unfiltered honesty and warmth, the Patinkin-Grody family (plus Sarah) affirm that adulthood is not a fixed destination and that traditions are meant to serve joy, connection, and meaning—not static repetition. Listeners are encouraged to honor old rituals but not be afraid to invent new ones, to cherish community, and to remember that hope—like lighting another candle each night—is always an act of resistance and renewal.

For Listeners Seeking

• Wisdom, reassurance, and humor about “growing up,”
• Relatable stories on family, food, and togetherness,
• Permission to let tradition evolve,
• A front-row seat to loving, chaotic, multigenerational conversation—
  this episode is a gift.

Send your own questions or stories to the show—or just listen for the comfort and laughter.