← DOPE AS USUAL Podcast
DOPE AS USUAL Podcast
Psychos, Shock, & Intrusive Thoughts
01:44:12
This episode has some fake sounding stories in it....I promise they are real and I have receipts haahaha.
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- [00:00]
A
I said something about being fat cuz I thought it was funny. And they go, man, you're not fat, but when Rocco stand next to you, you guys do look like the number 10.
- [00:07]
B
Oh, God, so bad.
- [00:12]
A
That's the funniest. I heard it's pretty good, dude. Perfect. Perfect. Hey, what's up, everybody? I know that was an abrupt volume jump, but we may or may not have just filmed unrestricted. And here we are. Thank you guys so much for being here. This is the Dopa Usual podcast. My name is Thomas Dopa, Jola, whatever you want to call me. This is my co host, Marty O'Neill.
- [00:44]
B
What's cracking, folks?
- [00:45]
A
What's going on? Do you see that? You see that camera switch? That was a live switch. Welcome to the first time we're ever doing live switching on the podcast. Maybe this cuts off 2.9 days of editing.
- [00:58]
B
It could. It very well could. It's gonna be up there.
- [01:00]
A
It might. It might do it. All right, you're the other guest today. All right, this is. This is our address. You camera. We're trying different things. Hopefully you guys like this setup. This is live switching the first time we're doing it. And let's see if it works. Man, it's gonna be sick. Guys, thank you for being here. This is the dope as usual podcast. We're here to talk about life, drugs, problems, accomplishments, and everything in between. And today we're prepared. Last week, Marty and I were completely wrecked. All right, sorry. We were completely wrecked last week and now we're not. So, I mean, a little bit. A little bit. But we're ready.
- [01:41]
B
Get ready for the YOLA video dropping next because you're gonna understand what happened last episode once you see why we.
- [01:47]
A
Were so wrecked last episode. So we're prepared, Marty, whenever you feel free. Maybe the nice guy clock. Maybe. Maybe we'll keep a nice guy clock for a minute. We'll see, we'll speak. But speaking of papers, we're gonna get on to a bunch of things today. Today we have some. The biggest coincidence of all time. It's insane. Actually, we have a lot of stuff about me trying not to be so fat. Marty trying to be more like a bird because he's been taking flights with lay. Had a layover. Who? All right, the fact that someone's like, yo, let me pick this flight. It has a layover, meaning I have to start and stop again. No, the worst part about the plane ride is getting off and on it. Layover means it's times two. No, thank you. We're going to talk about a bunch of things today, but the first thing I want to do is switch into story time. All right, this is story time. Let's, let's. I think we have a little a sound for it, right? It's not menacing story, but that sound is menacing. Are you ready? This is story time, guys. And it's. It's not very long, but I can always make it elaborate and go into detail, and I will.
- [03:02]
B
That's what he said.
- [03:06]
A
Appreciated that. Are you ready for this? So let me start you from the beginning. As you know, for the past four to five years, I've been talking about it. I wanted to make papers, and I won't go through every single thing. It took a long time. I was doing it with RAW pay. I was doing it with RAW for a long time. Then, you know, the shutdown happened. All that stuff the universe told me, hey, man, just wait, keep waiting, keep waiting, keep waiting. You know, the universe, like, just keep waiting. So I said, this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna keep waiting. And actually, I was just. I just didn't have enough money to do it. And so I was like, oh, wait, oh, wait, oh, wait. And then my graphic artist decided to not be artist anymore and never responded. And then we found out years later, he. It was the wrong email. For some reason, when. You know when you type a person's email and it locks on. It was locking on the wrong email. I was sending him on the. I would let the letter out. I messed it up. Sorry, Mateo. This whole time, I was all, I'm telling, what the hell? Anyway, he's the only one with my art files. So I was like, oh, I gotta redo all the art files. I gotta pay another artist. I didn't have enough money. Anyway, with Time Goes on, time goes on. Then it finally started, like, hey, it's working. And then RAW got into the big lawsuit, and I was like, whoa. Maybe this is why the universe, like, hey, just wait. Just wait. Just wait till after it. I don't know. Fast forward. A couple more years later, I decided just to do it somewhere else. So shout out to Blazey Susan. They're doing all my papers for me. Thank you very much. This is what's going on. You guys know we talked about it last episode. You guys know I've been waiting on these papers and it's been years. And then last year, we started really working on it. I'm talking about the packaging and how sick it is and, like, all the color schemes and all this stuff I've been thinking of and doing, and it looks so good, and I'm so excited. Last time we talked about it. Oh, it looks good. It looks great. Like, we're just waiting on it. Remember, I talked about that, I think, last episode. Here's a quick little update. I was. You know what? I like to take these things, and I think these are what makes me, like, be more happy than the normal person that takes bad news. You have to look at. On the upside, I was at the LRG push tree shoot, which we'll get into later. Is doing a commercial for lrg. Right. Coming soon. Right? Coming very soon. So I was in a great mood, you know, I'm doing some really cool stuff. Very happy. Got our own stuff, our collab going on. I'm doing the commercial, and then I get a call from a certain person. Hypes me up so, so hard. I talked about. I talked to Marty about it. Hyped me up. What a. It was incredible. Great. It was about like, doing stand up and do this. I was very excited for this call. Anyway, fast forward. I get that call eight seconds later. After the call, I sit down, open my phone. It's the first thing I see. And then this happens. So we have to take you with the good with the bad. Like, I had great news lrg, and then I get this super sick call, and then I get the worst news, so I have to take it with, like, balance. I got two goods with one bad. You know what? It's not that bad. Let me not stress over it. And you know what? Here it is. This is what happened. Been working on this. Look. Super stoked about this. Look, everything's done. We're ready to go. I got my box in, like, in. I got to make the box. I could see what it's really gonna look like. It's what our stuff is. And during the LRG issue, I get this call and what, you know, my luck. My luck, of course. Why wouldn't that happen? So we go into production. We're three weeks late. We're supposed to drop two. 1325, which is, you know, a couple days ago, the same day as the shoot. I'm like, oh, thank God it got delayed, you know, because champs. The. The big. The big show for the industry show for all the. The wee paraphernalia adjacent. Shit. They go there. And that's how you get into smoke shops. It's like going up there and auditioning. What's up, guys? We're big. We're a company by us. That's what this huge convention is, and we're going to launch there, but we got delayed. Thank the Lord that we got delayed. Thank you so much. Are you ready? I don't think you're ready. Light one of these jants up.
- [07:08]
B
I still got this one.
- [07:09]
A
Well, you can have that one. You're going to suck it down in four seconds. Jesus, this bull smokes so fast. Okay, I'm there at the shoot, and apparently this came out two months ago. I didn't see that. I have no idea. Okay, let me light this up real quick. Let me attempt to be YouTube friendly. Kind of like, you know, try not to show too much, but, you know, you know, I'm just trying.
- [07:36]
B
Do dishes while you're lighting it.
- [07:38]
A
Please remind me. Yes, please. Thank you. Please remind me to bring that later. Thank you. Please don't let me forget. Bring up the. Thank you. Okay. Oh, yeah. We can like joints like this. Like this. But every time I let a joint like this. Cowboy.
- [07:57]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [08:01]
A
Sell him. I don't know. Whatever cowboys did, they're probably owners of humans. Here we go. All the cowboys got pissed at me. All right, guys. I'm kidding. Jesus.
- [08:13]
B
Jerry Jones.
- [08:15]
A
The Jerry Jones got pit. Not those kind of cowboys, man. I'm talking about, like, cowboys with cowboys and native Americans. Yeah, it doesn't sound fun, huh? Yeah. Let's go outside and play cowboys and native Americans. Shut up. Sounds stupid. All right, continue. So this is what happened. My phone, Wiz Khalifa's page. Because I follow him, and you know when you click someone's story, click again, go to the next story. I'm explaining Instagram to you. You can just watch stories and if you look at the phone, you're gonna see what's on the story. And that's what happened to me. I'm looking at my phone and whiske a story. I'm like, oh, cool. Smoke with joints. Nice. Next story comes on and go, oh, what the hell is that? I stopped it and pressed my finger on like, hold on, I gotta see it. How did he get a picture of my papers? And why would he post mine?
- [09:11]
B
Did I accidentally post my papers?
- [09:13]
A
Yeah, I thought, did I do this? I'm looking at him. My. I do the cartoon to make sure I'm seeing right. And I look and I go, oh, no. Wiz Khalifa's new papers are the same exact looking as mine, down to the color. Yo, when my papers come out, I'll show you what my box looked like. I saw this and went, red light. You ever see Kill Bill, remember that scary noise? That's what started going off. I was like, oh, no. And I went, no, he's gonna throw up. But I went, oh, God. Rocco was sitting there. Rosie was sitting there. Oh, no. Out loud. While everybody's setting up cameras for the next scene. I went, oh, God, no. And I looked and go, it's the same exact green that I'm using all the numbers and letters and everything is gold foil down almost to the pantone. Because I know that because I got a skew of a bunch of metallics and I had the pantones of them, and I picked it, and it was probably one degree off the same gold foil that I picked. And what else? There's a pattern in the background. And I talked to somebody that knows them well. He goes, yeah, they. Because after I. Okay, here we go. There's a pattern in the background. I have a light pattern in the background on paper. This is like McDonald's and McDowell's from coming to America. No. Oh, his. Theirs has the sesame seed bun. That's what I would have been to Wiz Khalifa. McDowell's. To McDonald's. I looked at with there's no way. And I. The first thing I thought was, nobody leaked it. Only I have it. And it's not like the people making it for us would leak it. That already came out. I just finalized my stuff, like, two months ago. His came out two months ago. There's no way they stole it from me. That's not what I'm saying. Please don't mess up my words. I think, like, oh, this was accusing. Was Clifford. Not even a little bit. The fact that we pick, there's three things you could do. The color, the background, and the letters.
- [11:38]
B
There's only so much on the paper.
- [11:40]
A
Packaging, and we picked the exact same layout.
- [11:43]
B
So much thought when so much thought went into it.
- [11:47]
A
Incredible, right? No. Shocking. No. A little. So I call my guy that is with Taylor Gang, and he happens to be with Blazey Susan. I know. People are like, he leaked it. No, no, there's no leaking, so let's get that out of the way. This is the biggest coincidence of all time. So I call him, like, hey, man, go to Wiz Khalifa's, and I FaceTime. I want to see your face. He's like, oh, no. I go, I know. He goes, how? He's like, I'm going to call you back. So he called a bunch of people. He's like, so I found out who designed it. Like, dude, I'm not accusing us. Oh, well. Anyway, I Found out who designed it. I had him killed. No, no, I found who designed it. Somebody at Taylor Gang Girl that. That works for him. It's like, there's. That's incredible that we pick the same color color scheme, right? So I call him. I go, so change the packaging. We're in production. We're dropping in three weeks. We're coming out in three weeks. I'm like, change it. Redesign. We're not coming out. We're not going to be the same. Because you know people are going to do. Damn, you're biting hard, huh? Could come up with something yourself. Even though we've been coming up with it for, like, half a year, at least on that look. Incredible, honestly. Obviously, the word placement's different, but so much thought.
- [13:04]
B
Even, like, going back, even before they even started helping, we were doing mood boards and all this thought and brainstorming.
- [13:13]
A
And shocking colors and AI and, like, shocking.
- [13:18]
B
Really had it locked in.
- [13:20]
A
This is the first time we're doing this. But, Marty, let's go split screen. And only address this when we're addressing or we're, like, just sitting. So I feel like there's. Sorry, guys. We're doing this live. There's so much table in that shot. We gotta figure that shot out still. Just. I know it feels like on the third guy, I'm the third person sitting there. I get it. But this is so much sicker. Look at this. Look at right now. Mario looks straight. I look straight.
- [13:43]
B
It's cracking.
- [13:47]
A
This is live. Soon we could be live. So Marty and I talk. I was doing the story. Sorry. Back in the story, I'm like, oh, man. Please, sir, please change the packaging. And they go, you know, we're gonna get charged. Go. I know. Hey, I'll pay whatever it costs. Please. I'm not gonna be that guy that goes, damn. Just follow it.
- [14:11]
B
Just lit on fire.
- [14:13]
A
Enjoy. Yeah. With a lighter.
- [14:17]
B
No.
- [14:18]
A
What?
- [14:19]
B
On its own. That just caught a blaze. Busted.
- [14:21]
A
Yeah. Oh. All right, well, I'll watch out for that. All right, here we go. So.
- [14:42]
B
Blazey. Susan.
- [14:43]
A
Where was I? I forgot. Damn it, Rocco, we talked about this. I'm not really talking to you. I'm talking to Marco. I'm high. I'm sorry.
- [15:03]
B
What were we at the packaging? It was the same. So much thought went into it.
- [15:08]
A
Thank you. So we called, and they're like, yo, we didn't start yet. There's no problem. That's the end of the story. That's the end of the story. Very uneventful. But we didn't have to Pay anything, and we're fine. That's why you forget that you lit it 10 minutes ago. And it's just. I really want to see the playback on that.
- [15:31]
B
Oh, yeah, we're running. That's probably what happened.
- [15:33]
A
That's probably what happened, honestly. Because I don't know if you might be the only person to ever live that their joint just move and cops.
- [15:41]
B
Hit a sweet spot.
- [15:42]
A
A sweet spot. I don't know about that. Change the packaging and they go, you know we're gonna get charged. You go, I know. Hey, I'll pay whatever it costs. Please. I'm not gonna.
- [16:03]
B
Spontaneous combustion is a sick strain. Name.
- [16:06]
A
Oh, I like that. That is a great name. All right, so that was. That's what happened. That's what happened. So now it's going to be another month. So you guys are throwing 420. All right, we'll probably launch 420 instead of March. Supposed to be done in March 1, anyway. That was cool. That really happened. Isn't that sad? What are the. What are the.
- [16:30]
B
Fun stuff always happens when you're trying to launch something. Just people in general.
- [16:35]
A
I don't get it. I mean, I get it, but the only us.
- [16:42]
B
Could have been worse. Could have been.
- [16:43]
A
Could have been launched. Yeah, we looked real stupid.
- [16:47]
B
Come out with identical packaging. You'd feel horrible about it the whole time. But you spent so much money on it, right?
- [16:54]
A
Rocco seen it. You've seen it. I've seen it. And John, that's it. So it's not like someone went, hey, man, you should just change the package. Look. What? They're coming. I know. Because there'll be a bunch of comments like, no, they leaked it. I promise you, they didn't leak it. There's no. Nothing to gain from anyone.
- [17:12]
B
There's only so many looks you can really go with, I guess.
- [17:16]
A
I mean, it's endless, dude. Like, people kept telling me on Twitter.
- [17:22]
B
If you're going for a designer look.
- [17:25]
A
Oh, yeah, I guess. I guess so.
- [17:26]
B
If that's, like, your aesthetic.
- [17:27]
A
They keep telling me no one in the world has an orange package. You should done orange for story time. Hey, man, Zigzags is orange.
- [17:36]
B
That's what I was thinking.
- [17:37]
A
The biggest company in the world's orange. I dropped my cap. It's gone. I'm now dedicated to drinking the out of that water.
- [17:44]
B
So no cap.
- [17:46]
A
Get out, Marty. No, no, it worked. It was actually perfect. Just. Oh, fight. Anyway, that happened. That. That's over. Anyway, let's move on to the next subject, guys. I talked about it With Marty earlier the first couple seasons, every solo we had, we're coming in with a structure and story in this. And we never really updated you on like this is what I. This is what happened this week. It's not like we can update. Like that's what we were doing for the past like year and a half, I feel. And then me and Mari talked about like, I think that is what we're doing. Sorry, it's just what, what's our stories, what goes on in our lives. So we figure, oh, but if it just happened, it's kind of just telling people what you did this week kind.
- [18:37]
B
Of became catch up episodes.
- [18:39]
A
Yeah. And that's not what we're. He started with. We started off with crazy stories and wild and a structure and we stopped doing that and noticed that. So the, the. This is why we're changing it up a little bit or giving a little more structure. So besides that, there's a bunch of things that's been going on and I'm about to catch you up on. Damn it. This is. It is ketchup. But here's a story. As you guys know, I've been to many airports. All right, I'm gonna lead you into this. Been in many airports. I've been in many airport with a bunch of drug. Said drug. Right. Not anymore. Now it's legal. I don't do that no more. When I was younger, just take more than you're supposed to. Especially when you're 14 and you're not. You can't. Can't have weed anyway. So I used to carry weed through the airport. Every drug dog I see the Mexican side of me, the drug dealers like, oh, get across this border. Look at these scary dogs. And then the Jewish side of me is like, oh, look at that. German shepherd. I'm in a single file line. This is. This is too eerily close to what my blood has gone through. I think that was pretty good. I made that up right now. I made that up right now. I think that's pretty good. All right. Single file line. Listening to people in suits. So my. My body's just. There's a lot of anxiety on both sides. Half of this, half of me scared. This happens. I scared of the drugs. So anyway, continue. Marty, clip that. Give that to me. I'm gonna send it to all my ads and piss them off. They're not gonna be mad. But you know my answer. Cool that anyway. That's hilarious to me. Keep. Continue. You know, I've done that and it scares me. And you get Anxiety at the airport. So you ever. Right now, if you get a cop behind you and you're not smoking weed in your car, don't you go, oh, cop. Right.
- [20:29]
B
Of course.
- [20:30]
A
It's just in you. For everyone out there that doesn't get high, like Rocco, I guarantee goes, oh, cop. He doesn't have drugs on him. It's just a naturalistic. Oh, it's an anxiety that's always there. Correct. When you see a German shepherd. Oh, is that a drug dog? You go, no, it's regular dog. Oh, it could be. And you. I'm just German shepherds. Or that's like, oh. So they gave me anxiety. So I give you that long spiel to tell you that this week I got back at him. I got him. Finally got him a little bit, I think. Made me laugh. So I was at the mall with my brother the other day, and he like, everywhere we go to the bath before we leave, like, all right, I wait. So I was like, all right, let me go to the bathroom. So I'm sitting there, I'm just waiting and waiting, and I look down, I go, huh? Drug or bomb dog? With a cop at the mall. All right, you're real lucky to get that route. Where you at? Skid row, full got stabbed yesterday. The officer. Where you at? Topanga Canyon Mall. Where? Part the food court. Like, you ass fool.
- [21:35]
B
Chilling with my dog.
- [21:36]
A
Chilling with my dog. What a great. What a great route you have as a cop. He's just sitting there in the day at the mall with a dog. Anyway, there's a security guard talking to him, just looking down. My man, let me hit my pen. And I go, light bulb. Light bulb goes off in my head. Hilarious to me. I go, if he's a drug dog, I'm a floor above him. I'm gonna rip my pen, my hash pen, and blow it and keep blowing it down until the dog starts freaking out going, where's it coming from? Because I have the height advantage. You never get the height advantage, officer. That's unknowing. And he's having a conversation. So I'm like, oh, this is hilarious. So I just take a little video, and as I blow my smoke out, the dog gets up and starts looking. So it looked like he smelled my smoke. I know he didn't. I'm a floor above him. For sure he didn't. But the reason I bring this up is to say, some of you fools are so lame. Some of you fools are 91 and you don't understand it yet. Your Karen's in the making. Some of you fools I hate so much. I just. I just despise. I got so many comments that I just hate people now saying, like, everyone's Toby from the office. That's what you worry about. Toby, the cops time I try to frame you. That's how I felt. People like, you're getting the dog. You're getting this dog stressed out when he could be hyper focused on finding bombs at the Topanga Canyon Mall.
- [23:13]
B
Are they joking or is that.
- [23:14]
A
They're dead serious, man. Oh, I want to say everything I said, they're just starting being mean, insulting me after. But, like, I'm. I hope nothing happens. No, but also, people just. They could be focusing on that. Wow, look at this loser antagonizing a dog's mental health. Yo, stop it. Knock it off. So many. Like a hundreds. Hundreds I had to delete because they were just being reals.
- [23:43]
B
Like, ah, I can't be real people. There can't be that many people out there that would think that.
- [23:47]
A
I think there are enough stupid people in the world to come together, see a comic. Oh, yeah, me too, actually. That's how I felt. Let me say it. Shut up. For everyone else, and you're probably not watching the show, but if you have homies like that and you're watching the show, send this clip to him. Send this part to him. And just the timestamp and. And go. This is why we don't hang out anymore.
- [24:06]
B
Dogs eat, by the way.
- [24:08]
A
Dogs eat. Any of any kind, actually. All right. You know what they do? They inbreed also, I'm pretty sure just give them a little bit of mental health. Stress is not a big deal. That's their job. Anyway, I got a lot of those people. A lot. Incredible amount of people. Absurd amount of people getting on my ass like their PETA. The smoke didn't even reach them. I don't know if you know, a smoke works. It was a coincidence that when I blew it, the dog started losing his mind. So my. Oh, nice. Great. It was perfect timing.
- [24:41]
B
It makes sense, though, because the ratio of views to insane comments. Because of the amount of views I got.
- [24:48]
A
Yes. For some reason I. I recorded it. Rocco walked up and went, you're not gonna believe what I just got. And I went, I just got a viral video. Because I know that's hilarious, because I would laugh at that. I had the perfect advantage on Twitter's got almost 20 million views in, like a day and half. People love animal cruelty, apparently. Animal cruelty, man. I just made him stand up. That's all it was anyway that happened. I thought that was extremely funny. Also. Slight delay onto my next subject. Slight delay. This shirt right here. Push Trees lrg, right. We have a capsule coming out in Zoomies.
- [25:25]
B
You talked about that being like your favorite all time desire.
- [25:29]
A
Yes. I won't show it all yet if you watch Unrestrict. I did show it. I'm not gonna say because you understand. You get to see it. I just don't want to stand up and hit the bong right now. That's why I did. That's why you get to see it. Anyway, this is my favorite, one of my favorite designs I've ever made. It's incredible delay. Looking like February 24th or March 1st. Zoomie stores all across America and zoomies.com you can buy. We have four shirts coming out in stores a week to two weeks after that. This is the update. A week to two weeks after that. We're gonna drop on pushtrees.com. here is the difference. As you can see, it looks like I shrank. Didn't shrink shirts, just bigger. So look, this thing is pretty big. All the stuff dropping on pushtrees.com is going to be oversized. Oversized shirts, oversized prints. This goes all the way down this prints probably this big. Big.
- [26:25]
B
At least you said like the difference between like 24 and 14 inches or something.
- [26:30]
A
Oh, yeah. So some of the, the, the ones, this oversized print, it's over 11 inches bigger than the average, I think or 10 inches bigger than the average size that we do. So that's the update, guys. Because I know people go, where's it at? I see you the tag right here. And yeah. I just want to let you know this is just a sample. There's a hole in the side of the shirt. Look, Marty, there's a hole in there. This is a sample.
- [26:54]
B
And I wore it comes with like a little like stab hole, bullet hole in it.
- [26:58]
A
Comes with your own little shiv hole. Yeah, a large. An LRG shiv hole. No, just ripped. Anyway, these are just samples. That's it. That's all. I wanted to update you guys about that. I'm trying not to go into this week. This is what I did. But I mean, that's kind of what I'm just trying. Okay. I'm trying to think more structurally.
- [27:18]
B
We've done a lot of stuff since last time we were here last week.
- [27:20]
A
Dude, I've been in three states this week.
- [27:23]
B
Me too, technically.
- [27:24]
A
Oh, that's right. So is Marty. So last time we told you. Told you guys. Marty's about to take off right now. Go to the. Go to his daughter's college trial tour. College tour. And then he went to Disney World. Cps. You're there for your kids. Cps, but cps you wouldn't get CPS called on for you. This goes deeper. And then I think Rocco's yesterday said, cool people.
- [27:54]
B
That was today.
- [27:55]
A
That was today.
- [27:55]
B
That went down in the books.
- [27:57]
A
Oh, God, no. Was it really?
- [27:58]
B
Yeah.
- [28:01]
A
That's not good. We did do five hours of troubleshooting today, and I was on my phone scrolling and looking for stuff, so I'm a little brain dead today. All right, here we go. That happened. Marty, on your way back, how was your trip? Let's talk about it real quick. You're done.
- [28:19]
B
Trip was great.
- [28:20]
A
And all your kids got delayed, so you're kid free right now.
- [28:23]
B
So listen, look at his smile.
- [28:25]
A
It's so bad. They got delayed. I. I hate it.
- [28:29]
B
If you're gonna take a. Like, a layover on your flight, you're asking. Listen, I need everybody to never take another layover in their life. We need a policy. We need to ban them until they fix them. Okay.
- [28:44]
A
I got a really good stewardess on my flight back from Vegas. She was just talking the. The. The flight. The. The. The airline the whole time. Yeah, I know you guys paid for your WI fi, but it doesn't work. You keep telling them, yeah, I know. You're paying for something you're not getting. Yeah, it's not very good. Even if it does work, it's not good. She was just on it the whole time. Yeah, terrible.
- [29:06]
B
I know.
- [29:08]
A
She's like, you work here. She's like, it's my 25th year, and it's just not getting better. Whoa. This lady's venting. Everybody's still getting on the plane. So she's just sitting there talking and venting, and she kept speaking. And I'm like, all right, lady. And then I told Marty this before we started. We're sitting there on the Runway. We're like, all right, what's going on? I'm on the Runway on the. Where everybody comes in. We're still sitting there. Yeah, we should took off a while ago. What's going on? And then the pilot. The pilot had like. What is it called when you say your first intrusive thought? Was it called. Damn it. When people just say the first thing on their mind? People go, oh, you let the something thought win. What is it called? Intrusive thought? Is that like the. The. Yeah. Okay, my bad. All right. I think he Let that happen because he stopped himself. He gets on the intercom, goes, hey, guys, I know we're taking a while to take off. And I know we're taking a while to take off, everybody. And I just want to let. You were holding up the gate for one passenger? Yeah, one passenger was having some difficulties getting on the plane and getting here on time. So when they come on, why don't you give them a nice slow clap as they come down the aisle? Actually, no. All right. We're just. We're getting somebody on the plane right now. Sorry for the day. We're a bit. Take off. This fool was like, yo, everybody beat this fool's ass for making his way here. This is exactly what happened. He goes, everybody give him a nice slow clap as they come down the aisle. He didn't even finish aisle. He went. And then he thought, I'm a professional. What am I doing? Everybody bully the shit of this man. He held the whole plane up. How do you get that privilege? What thing do you check off on orbits to go, hey, in case I'm late and a piece of shit. How do I ruin everyone else's time? And that guy walked on with all the bags. Bunch of bags on him like a beer, like a Mexican dude. But also, like, if he cleaned up, he probably like, oh, you probably air marshal or something. You kind of built. Maybe he was the decoy and he was real or undercover air marshal.
- [31:06]
B
It has to be, because it has to be. Wait to slam.
- [31:09]
A
Waited. They waited like. Like, probably 20 minutes. We're sitting like, everybody sat down. He said, we're taking off. All right. And I just kept watching all the YouTube videos I downloaded because I just found out that you can watch. You can download your YouTube videos and watch them when you don't have WI fi. I know everybody's like, yeah, stupid. That's what it's for. I had no idea. Watched it all.
- [31:32]
B
So I did the goofy of all time, which was incredible.
- [31:36]
A
What is it?
- [31:37]
B
Which was. Okay, so we went to Colorado. We looked at the school the same night, and then we had to get up at like three in the morning to fly to Tampa.
- [31:47]
A
Terrible.
- [31:48]
B
Yeah. Somewhere like 3:30, because the rental car place opened at 5:00am oh.
- [31:55]
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [31:56]
B
But we already had to be damn near to the airport by 5am so we had to, like. We had to be at the rental car place to meet the Uber by 4:30. So we pull up behind this rental car place in Denver in the middle of the night. Now it's like 4:30am it's freezing cold and we got this minivan. So April puts the keys. You gotta put them through the. There's a hole in the fence and then there's a Dropbox inside a hole in the fence.
- [32:30]
A
Sounds real professional. Keep going.
- [32:32]
B
Yeah, it was a sketchy little there. Definitely. This was like tweaker area back here. Looked like it was. I didn't see any actual tweakers.
- [32:39]
A
It's just industrial. Mars thing is terrible. Looks nothing like Irvine. Third World even. It's a regular security.
- [32:53]
B
So we're behind this place. She drops the. The Uber's waiting for us.
- [32:59]
A
You didn't tell me that.
- [33:00]
B
The dude is there. And as soon as like I close the door and she puts the keys in the thing, I realize my phone is still in the minivan and.
- [33:11]
A
Enough to kill your entire family.
- [33:13]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [33:13]
A
Enough frustration to murder.
- [33:15]
B
Oh my God.
- [33:16]
A
Everyone in a mile race.
- [33:17]
B
Guys. I haven't hulked out and just freaked out.
- [33:19]
A
Exactly.
- [33:21]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [33:22]
A
You should have punched the window and paid for it. That should have just so mad like.
- [33:25]
B
The dude on unrestricted. Just my wrist all the way up and down.
- [33:28]
A
Oh, that sounds terrible. Continue.
- [33:32]
B
So at this point I'm like. Basically think I'm gonna miss this flight because I can't just leave my phone.
- [33:38]
A
No.
- [33:42]
B
So then it's like I just start waiting. They take off without me. I just basically storm away and go to the front and wait.
- [33:49]
A
It's full of stomps, feet, prints into the ground. All the way. All the way up to Enterprise.
- [33:55]
B
So it's like 4:30. So then they just go to the airport and I'm basically to fend for myself. I got my.
- [34:02]
A
Oh my God. They leave you to go with a stick.
- [34:05]
B
Yeah.
- [34:06]
A
And some money, basically.
- [34:08]
B
So I'm just pacing around, freaking out and. And then this. God bless this woman's soul. She gets to work a little early.
- [34:16]
A
Oh.
- [34:17]
B
And she comes walking in and she's not all sketched out by me for like she might have been.
- [34:22]
A
I'm pretty creepy.
- [34:24]
B
She might have been a native American. She's. Yeah, she's one of those. She was dancing line between Mexican, Native American. I'm not sure.
- [34:29]
A
She was dancing the line and dancing the. The rain. She was Native American. She was doing a rain dance. What? He said she was dancing the line. Choice of words. Marty was crazy. She had very many ankle bracelets on top of her Levis and they were shaking. Get out of here. Travis Thompson just text me, says I'm about to fight Marty. Even though I said the Worst. Go ahead.
- [34:55]
B
So then she. Then she goes and gets another dude. And they walk me behind this like industrial tweaker style warehouse that is this place all the way around and get the keys. And then I queue up another Uber and hustle over to the airport, hustle through security and make it on time.
- [35:15]
A
Oh.
- [35:17]
B
Oh, how mad the fury ended because.
- [35:22]
A
It was your fault.
- [35:23]
B
Oh, yeah, yeah. And April's there with the kids, so it's like anytime you get pissed and you get frustrated at yourself, right? Yeah. No, I punted Emmy. It was early, so she didn't really notice. It was fine.
- [35:39]
A
She didn't know. She's still crying.
- [35:41]
B
Kim caught her and it was a lot good.
- [35:42]
A
He spiked her, though, because he was, you know, he caught it.
- [35:48]
B
So that was good. Yeah. And then we got down to Tampa. Bam, boom. Day one, Tampa. We see. We go to this place, see a whole flock of sharks, manatees. There's dinosaur looking giant fish.
- [36:04]
A
There's egtar. Education system failed to show us flock of sharks, dinosaur looking giant fish. It's just a catfish. It was huge, though. And me. What kind of fish? Like finding Nemo kind of fish. That's the education system did to us. Continue, SpongeBob. I know the daughter was a whale. Daughter's whale. Can crabs have whales? Whales can have crabs.
- [36:32]
B
Then we actually, now that you mentioned it, days later, we went out on a boat on the ocean. Your boy was walking in the water.
- [36:39]
A
Went on the ocean?
- [36:40]
B
Yeah, it was like a tiki boat thing.
- [36:41]
A
Oh, God.
- [36:43]
B
Went out there. It was like clear water you could see through.
- [36:45]
A
So you can see the sharks coming for you.
- [36:47]
B
Yep.
- [36:47]
A
Gotcha.
- [36:48]
B
Yeah, I was gonna catch one in a leg triangle.
- [36:52]
A
Yeah, the education system's crazy. Getting him in a leg, trying to do fins.
- [36:58]
B
Finbar.
- [37:05]
A
Here's a kid going to college, guys. Don't blame him, okay? He's officially a dad right now. His whole outfit, sketches just grew onto feet. They're not shoes. They just. That's his feet now. Sketchers and New Balance 1. Shoes and New Balance 1. Susan Sketchers in case he wants to switch up and everything in his closet. Just tidy white. He's tidy white. He's tight. Completely. Forever, for rest of your life. That's you now. We talked about it earlier, but now you wear airwalks. Airwalks is an old Manchu or a young, poor Mexican kitchen.
- [37:34]
B
Okay? I thought they were cool all childhood.
- [37:37]
A
They were. They were cool. On the east coast, those are cool. Me just. Oh, man. Everybody's making fun of me. That's cool.
- [37:43]
B
I like that.
- [37:44]
A
So did you fight any mascots at Disney?
- [37:51]
B
Don't know. No. No. The whole staff was really good at Disney.
- [37:56]
A
Nice. He's like, no, that was universal. I fought Harry Potter, actually. It was just some Chinese kid with glasses, and I just was like, yo, furiosa la vite los manos, yo. American Dad's great. It's a great show. You need to watch American Dad. I know you have kids and a little career and like to do, but when you have the time, you should watch this show.
- [38:21]
B
Okay.
- [38:22]
A
American dad. It's incredible. I like it better than Family Guy. Drop a comment. Who's better? Family Guy, American Dad. I'm going, American Dad. Better storylines. Family guys laugh out loud. Funny for sure. But Roger's funnier than everybody in Family Guy, so they win.
- [38:38]
B
I need everybody in their life to do the Avatar ride in Disney World. Oh, it's gonna be a must.
- [38:46]
A
That's me just going, it won't click. That's my experience at Avatar. Sick. Can I get in a different avatar? An athletic body? Can I have an avatar so I can ride the ride?
- [39:03]
B
It's basically like a motorcycle.
- [39:05]
A
Oh, that's not crazy. Oh, you're the. You're on the thing. The.
- [39:09]
B
The beast flying the dragon.
- [39:11]
A
All right, I take it back. That's super.
- [39:12]
B
Swear to God. It was so much like the mushroom trip I had and that I was just bursting out giggling, laughing, and I couldn't stop.
- [39:19]
A
Oh, awesome. Did you get high to go? Were you a sober guy?
- [39:23]
B
No, I was a sober guy.
- [39:24]
A
Damn, Marty. Fully transformed to a father. Get your blood work done.
- [39:30]
B
I do get my blood work done, but I was sipping all kinds of. I was sipping coladas, though.
- [39:36]
A
I was gonna say, what the whitest drinks ever. Martini, margarita, or pina colada. Did you eat at Jimmy Buffett?
- [39:44]
B
Nah.
- [39:45]
A
Margaritaville.
- [39:46]
B
I don't think so.
- [39:46]
A
I did the other day. It was terrible. I mean, it was good in Mexico. Coming back from Mexico. Marty, you transformed, dude. It's cool. I like it. I'm gonna transform into a healthy person. Kids going to college, it's time. Time to get a gut. Marty just gets fat next year. Whoa. Oh, speaking of fat, you have to edit that. I think something's wrong with my thyroid. Everybody that's healthy. Yeah. You look at the sides of your face. Yeah. I didn't know. I thought that's called being fat because I've been eating good and. And, like, my face is still puffy right here. So we looked it up because Rosie went to her trainer and the lady that works out next to her is a doctor. She's like, hey, you got your thyroid checked out. While they were working out, she told Rosie that. She goes, no. Why? Because she's like, something's definitely wrong with your thyroid. I can see it in your face. What? Okay, thanks. And then, because I told Rosie this morning, because I was looking at something, I was looking stuff up and go, huh? A lot of those symptoms of what I have, I wonder if that's what's wrong with me, huh? Because sometimes I'll be like, some people, how are you so fat? You're a vegan? Like, you tell me. Just started like three years ago out of nowhere. Like, you see my whole jaw, like, three years ago. And I was like, dude, but I'm not even going crazy. I'm not even eating crazy. I'm doing the same stuff. And I've been actually, like, trying to not be fat. So I looked up the thyroid thing. I'd suggest, can everybody at least go to the doctor and get it checked out? I didn't realize that was a thing. My friend Scotty, when I was a kid, he gained so much weight and then he had to take a pill for his thyroid. I didn't know what the that meant. I was like, all right, you got medicine you have to take at school every day. That's cool. You want to play basketball? Like, I didn't. I don't know. And ask. I was in seventh grade. So now that I'm looking at like, oh, wow, out of like 15 of these symptoms, I have about 14, and only not 15 because I'm not a woman and I don't menstruate. Irregular cycles, I guess. Well, I can't have that one. I have the others. And then it said something about something else in your cycles ago. That's another one. Other than that, I got them all. Whoa, no. So tomorrow I'm going to the doctor and then I'm. Yeah, that's it.
- [42:19]
B
So you're just going to like your general doctor and gonna say, I'm gonna.
- [42:21]
A
Go get the blood test or whatever. They're like, oh, yeah, for sure. I'm looking it up. And I don't be like, you self diagnosed. Hey, man, I'm just like looking at it. I'm gonna go get it checked out. Because I think, hey, I should go get this checked out once. We just come back next week. I'm just Mario Lopez. Or that episode where Peter gets all buff this next week just chiseled. So that'd be hilarious. This whole Time.
- [42:45]
B
I just need to unlock your. Yeah, right there.
- [42:48]
A
I swear to God, if almost everything is on there. I'm like, yeah, weird. This thing.
- [42:55]
B
Remember?
- [42:56]
A
The idea is like, what is this thing? What's on my arm? He's like, sometimes causes unknown rashes. I go, what is this thing in my arm? Guys, I feel like that fat, sick and nearly dying cover from that fat Sinking, nearly dying documentary that I feel like the COVID of that is like. Because, dude, I don't know what's going on. So to bring it up to date, I thought that and went, you know what? Let's restart. So I did a fast. And I broke the fast in Vegas. I did almost four days. I was a couple hours short of four days. And the only reason I didn't go four days was because I was at a wedding. I'm like, I gotta just be sitting here, hey, everybody, I'm fasting today on your wedding. Like, oh, that's okay. Anyway, yeah, fast for four days felt fine. Day two was great. Day three got hungry a little bit, Started feeling sick. Day four was great. I mean, like, at the end of day three, basically hit. Day four was fine. I feel great. My stomach is hurting and stuff. So just a little update for everyone out there that always asks about, damn, fool, I thought you're getting not so fat. Hey, man, me too. Maybe something's working against me and it's called my own body. So I'm gonna go see if it's not gonna be a little hater and a little racist.
- [44:06]
B
Your thyroid's being racist.
- [44:07]
A
Racist ass. Little thyroid prejudice ass back some dude. I don't like it. That's it. So we just already checked out. Because I'm pretty sure that's why I'm so fat. Because I've been trying and sometimes it's just like, hey, not for you, bud. You're gonna stay that size. You know what's something really funny? Someone made me laugh. I'm just gonna bring it up. I said something that someone's like. I said something about being fat because I thought it was funny. And they go, man, you're not fat. But when Rocco stand next to you, you guys do look like the number 10. Oh, God. Like, that's the funniest. I heard it's pretty good.
- [44:51]
B
Dude.
- [44:54]
A
That'S. Now when I think about it, it's even worse.
- [45:10]
B
Whose mind did that come from?
- [45:12]
A
I don't know. Oh, I can't remember who's on Twitter. I think it's pretty good. Yeah.
- [45:21]
B
So then, all right, I came home like, two days ago, and we had some freaking happen.
- [45:27]
A
That sounds sexual, and you should keep it to yourself. All right, I'm just kidding. Go ahead. Oh, you just came home with your daughter. Take that all back. His wife's still gone. Never mind. Some freaky happened. I take it all back. Go ahead.
- [45:41]
B
I saw on the ring app while I was in Florida.
- [45:44]
A
Oh, hold on. Careful. Because then somebody might know where you live if this was reported in the news. Just be careful, okay?
- [45:58]
B
All right.
- [45:59]
A
Cautious with it. Stay it. Just be cautious.
- [46:02]
B
I'm gonna use some real general.
- [46:03]
A
There you go. Because this is a. It's. This is Unsolved Mysteries creepy style. It's. It is creepy.
- [46:08]
B
Anytime I say freaky deaky, that just means I'm generalizing.
- [46:12]
A
Well, don't say freaky now and then add deaky next to it. Some freaky deaky. Now it sounds diddy style. That's a new thing at in and out. You see that? They come out, they start making out with you, and they hold you down, they choke you diddy style. Can I get diddy style and animal style? And they squirt sauce in your mouth.
- [46:31]
B
Put MDMA on your fries.
- [46:33]
A
Oh, my God. They film it the whole time. Will Smith's just filming it like that. Eating fries. Go ahead.
- [46:47]
B
All right. I saw some creep on the notification on the ring app slashing somebody's tires on my neighborhood. Innocent enough.
- [47:02]
A
Did you say murderers earlier were innocent? You got a whole. This east coast shit's crazy.
- [47:07]
B
He had a. He had a creepy little face mask on. I didn't. I didn't think much of it. I didn't really recognize what was going on. All right, then.
- [47:16]
A
And he came in on the bike from saw right up on that.
- [47:22]
B
When I get home. Yeah, when I get home. Then the kid, like, knocks on the door.
- [47:30]
A
Different kid?
- [47:31]
B
Yeah, a kid. This is like the college kid, my neighbor, who I'd never talked to. Right across the street. Basically, it was like asking if you could see our ring footage because somebody slashed his tires. Apparently, this person came, slashed the tires on night one and then came back night two and hid transmitter location finder tracker on the bottom of the kid's car. This kid's like a college student. So he's telling me all this.
- [48:04]
A
Wouldn't you do the tracker first and the tire second? Because the tires are slash. It's going nowhere. You tracker it after dumb guy.
- [48:17]
B
I guess it's possible. I have it in reverse. But he wouldn't have noticed. Just the tracker.
- [48:22]
A
We said night one. He was just Staring at the place.
- [48:25]
B
That'S we found that afterwards.
- [48:27]
A
Oh, there you go.
- [48:28]
B
He must have slashed the tires first because they noticed and then they got camera so they got him on camera too. 2 I think it must have but we saw in my camera this fool the night before this. Somebody walked down the street and stopped in my driveway. Basically leaned up against my truck and just stared at their house for like 35 seconds.
- [48:47]
A
Dude came back the next day to slash the next day for the tracker scariest I'd be on my roof the whole night just waiting to to spider man on this fool.
- [49:00]
B
So I didn't know not to make.
- [49:02]
A
Out but like web him webmd.
- [49:08]
B
So apparently when I I had been flying this whole time, it's like a six hour flight. The sheriffs had already come to the door and talked to April on the ring camera. So April had already gone through the footage and realized there was this creepy footage. The kid already kind of knew we had some footage so I sent it to him and then he went down to my other neighbor who's got all the cameras. In the meanwhile I went and took one of my other cameras and went to go put it on the other side of the front of the house. So now there's many cameras on the front of my house. Many much not let alone my neighbors. Literally a retired sheriff that owns a security camera store that has too many damn cameras. So they went and got the footage from him.
- [49:53]
A
John Wick.
- [49:55]
B
So and then this is, this is was kind of like a funny part of it because then I went up on this ladder and I was putting up another camera. And then simultaneously the pizza delivery dude came and pulled up and this all happened right at the same time. My daughter had pulled up and she was parked in front of the house. Then the pizza delivery guy pulled up and he was parked on the other side of the street and he hopped out this Mexican dude and he's the same dude every time. And he brings the pizza and I'm. I come off a ladder and get it from him. But then the sheriff pull up behind him. So then they come out and then the kids walking down the street. The dude leaves. My daughter walks up and she's like damn, I thought ice was about to hop on him, bro.
- [50:40]
A
Makes sense though. I get it. I get it.
- [50:44]
B
Would have never thought whenever she didn't.
- [50:46]
A
Know going on she watches the show. There's a little racism creeping. You got hate in your heart. Let it out. That's how I feel right now. But I would automatically go, oh my Daughter is brutal. That's. That is true. But besides that, the more important scary thing besides the ice joke.
- [51:05]
B
Yeah. Yeah. So then the kid comes down and says, well, we combined all this footage and determined it's actually my aunt's deranged husband that she's going through a divorce with or some.
- [51:16]
A
He was tracking it to see when the guy of the house left the house so he can come through and do some unsolved mysteries, domestic violence, knowing.
- [51:26]
B
Full well the direct neighbor across the streets, full sheriffs.
- [51:30]
A
And you got Marty over here ready to kickbox. Put your knee. Bones, you're hearing me on through your shoulders.
- [51:35]
B
Gotta hear me on the bag through the garage door, these things.
- [51:38]
A
Someone's banging in the garage. Does Marty dying in there? They hear bong ribs. He sounds real menacing. It's a guy grunting. It sounds like the gimp scene from Pulp Fiction. Really? Marty's just remodeling his garage by himself.
- [52:01]
B
Helen, Pulp Fiction.
- [52:04]
A
Right next to you. Right next to you. So, yeah, I want to talk about something real quick. I think it's funny and I do follow the Internet. I'll be. I'll be Internety a little bit. So you guys may have heard of this person. I just wanted to bring it up because I've been following it so heavily. There's a person. There's a human being named Wes Watson, right? He is from Florida, I believe, but feels like he's from California. He's a ex con convict, right? Like a lot of Americans, he's been to prison. But this guy, the way I'm like, yo, I do a lot of Wii content because I'm high. I'm a pothead. He's like, yo, I'm a prison. Hold on. Yo, I'm a prisoner. He always flexes that arm when he talks. He's always sideways talking because he. I think he looks the biggest.
- [52:55]
B
I'm not.
- [52:55]
A
I mean, he's a big one. He's ripped as hell. So anyway, West Watson talks about prison, and it's like, man, I would come up to dudes on the yard and he's talking about putting his paperwork up his ass and like hooping stuff. And it's like, my stepdad's a. My stepdad's one of those guys, too. Didn't act like that, though. A little different. He was more of like a showboat kind of guy. He is. Sorry. He's human, not past tense. He's a real guy. The reason I'm bringing it, I'm trying to get you, like the. The Essence of who this guy is. He sells like. He's like on the Andrew Tate wave a little bit. Like, be a man. Get up. He's one of these guys, right? So he sells like self help courses. And he's been known to be like, yeah, this guy's charging five bands a month ago. Get up. All right, man, go work. He's like. He's kind of like not scamming because, you know, he's offering a service and people want to buy it. You can buy it. So he's always talking about, like, how much he could beat the out of people. And people make fun of him a lot. The moist, critical guy makes fun of him a lot, too. It's just funny. He. He's a funny character. He's a. If this was a cartoon. If we could label cartoons to people. Marty is. Hey, Arnold. All right, cool. He's chilling. He's hanging out with his homies, maybe playing some sports, chilling in his room. He has an addict. All right. Hey, Arnold, right? I'm more like South Parker. Eric Carmen's a piece of. Right? I'm one of south park, right? West Watson is basically super jail. I don't know if you've ever seen super jail, but it's a show on Adult Swim and it's brutal. It's brutal. And it's just basically he's every Randy Macho Man Savage booking promo. That's what has Wes Watson. That's it. With the neck veins. Anyway, that's Wes Watson. He always talks to people like, oh, beat your ass. I'll beat your ass. I've been in prison. Everybody makes fun of him, right? Even though if they saw him in person, they would never make fun of. This man is a monster. Recently, some guy was trolling him online and he has a gym he goes to. So guy was trolling him online, and the guy's like, I'll show up there and fight you. And Wes Watson takes a lot of shit. People troll and they'll DM them. They post. There's like a trend to DM him. Let me get a class. Like, okay, yes. They start talking shit like, you're wasting my time. And he keeps feeding into it. So the Internet likes to mess with people that feed into sometimes, right? So this guy's like. This guy pulls up on him and apparently he's a giant in the video. He's huge. This dude comes up to his gym, sets up his phone, wherever the gym. West Watson sets up his phone, goes and confronts Wes Watson and he gets his ass. Whooped headed, not west. Wants it. He beats this dude's ass. Of course, he has, like four friends, and his friends are hitting him too. But, like, to start it, Wes Watson is whooping his ass, right? He has his weight belt. He's smacking the guy with it. Obviously, a lot of people like, yo, he's can't fight on his own. I don't care. Video I see he's beating this fool's ass. He's on the ground and he's smacking him. He's standing. He's beating his fool. He's smacking him. He's smacking him. He kicks him, and the guy's, like, all messed up. He's on his knees, the guy's biggest. He's on his knees and he's getting up and Wes Watson's behind him. And he comes up and he soccer kicks the guy. Soccer kicks, full force kicks this fool face. He goes down. End of the video. So now this guy got arrested. He. Don't ever let a troll take your freedom away because this fool might go back to prison for felony assault because he cracked, fractured his bones, orbital bone, and gave a laceration to his face. I think with the belt, dude, overbeat. Oh, I get. He was standing his ground. He was, like, defending himself. But the second he went to fill soccer kicks, dude, it was over. Dude. Dude, it was. Oh, he could have played. Like, this guy showed up on me. I had to hit him until he didn't move. I was scared. What if he had a knife? He could play. But once his soccer kicked that fool after, he was like this.
- [57:14]
B
It's like that video we watched on Unrestricted where the dude was on the dude's car. Like, you could have got that first one.
- [57:20]
A
Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. When he's taking a picture on his car. 100. What do you think about Wes Watson's situation? Yeah, I'm talking to you on the other side of this table. Somebody just went like this in the bathroom at work. Oh. What do you think? All right. I think he's gonna get off. I don't think he's gonna go to prison. And he's gonna have a lot of content. And now people understand, like, oh, he really will beat my ass. Yeah, he might be. I for not for a second have doubted this person. I see his prison tattoo. I see his tattoos. You're not just gonna survive in there talking big like that without backing it up. That has stabbed a few. You could see it in his eyes. But the fact he's letting the Internet get to him is crazy. Also, I think he's playing a character for me to you. I think he's playing the Randy Macho man character slash Andrew Tate, slash. You don't have a Bugatti. How old are you? You're a loser. Because he has like 15 cars and rents this crazy ass house. He might be like a government psyops thing. He might be something else. Who's funding this to rent. What he has is a lot of money. There's no way some ex convict guy has enough, enough life coach clients that he can afford all of these things. It's not true, dude. It's. It's a shocking amount.
- [58:39]
B
Dan Bilzerian style show. Yes, yes, but gang banger.
- [58:44]
A
Not gang banger, prison gang banger. Like he's not a gang man. He's more of just like affiliate. He looks affiliate. He doesn't talk about being white. He's talking about any of that stuff. He talks about being a prisoner. And you know those guys, he throw.
- [58:56]
B
Up all the game. Like doesn't he do all that?
- [58:58]
A
You know what? I don't know. Let me take that back. I don't know if he is. I haven't seen it. Things that I've seen are all him just hulking out on you, brother. He's got the mentality of PC Principle from. From south park kinda. Except like about you being a loser. It's kind of crazy actually. Yeah, so that, that, that's, that's what I think for, for West Watson, I honestly believe that he's not gonna go to prison. But that's the first time we've really brought up like current event. This is happening now. Hey, man. Oh, also, yeah, we're doing the live switching. We'll see how this works out. I'm really excited. Saves about two and a half days of editing.
- [59:37]
B
Yeah, I think we're gonna get it down after a while.
- [59:42]
A
What's up guys? Taking a moment to talk about one of our sponsors. And this is my bookie. Right now we're doing a deal with my bookie. The same code, same everything, dope as usual at checkout. Or click the link below. It's gonna go to our sponsors page at our website. You have the link, all the information for my bookie. But what that code, dope as usual does is it's gonna match you your first bet up to a thousand dollars. You bet 900 bucks, my bookie will cover the other 900. And there you go. They match you all the way up to a thousand dollars. Also you get the free $10 casino chip. And I know we get in the comments It's $10, but hey, man, I was just in Vegas. $10 would be 360 on roulette. So my bookie has a live casino. Yes, there's a live person right there dealing the cards, doing the tape, everything. If you want to feel like you're in Vegas without smelling like cigs. I just went to the Lakers game the other day. They. They just got Luka. This is going to be a crazy season. If you're a Lakers fan, go to my bookie right now and start betting on your team because they are going to crush now. So shout out to every single person that signed up using our discount code. There's a lot of people that have signed up that haven't made the first deposit. Make this week your first deposit and make sure you use our code and or click the link. Thank you so much to my bookie for sponsoring this show. Do you have a super dirty piece sitting on your shelf right now that you're staring at? And there's mold constantly growing in it and every day you still kind of hit it. Well, stop doing that. You're dying inside. Besides that, Hygienics is there to save the day. Go to Hygienics us right now and it has every single thing you could possibly need to make sure you don't have organisms growing inside of your lungs. Also, use Code Dope as usual and you're gonna get a free box of Terp Titans. Here it is right here. This is 3.3 ounces of alcohol. This is just enough when you're traveling to clean your piece, you can use this alcohol. If not, the simple soak has essential oils in it that doesn't dry your hands out. I have a lot of pieces, guys. I'm doing it for 40 minutes. I put my hand on one side, put a piece of paper towel and start shaking my piece. Or you can use these, the cleaning caps for water pipes, hookahs and rigs. These right here are for all sizes. You put them over the mouthpiece of all your glass, so when you shake it, it's not just your hand and you're getting it all over you. So like I said, go to Hygienics US right now. Use Code Dope as usual, and that's gonna get you a free box of Terry Titans. The Hygienics difference is everything is created here in America. Everything is lab tested. And like I said earlier, the essential oils inside the simple soak Actually does make a difference. I can feel it in my hands, and it smells bomb. Thank you guys so much for supporting the brands that support us. Back to the episode. Buffalo Bills fans, why do you jump through tables? Why is that the name of your team? Not asking you. We know, but for real, who picks that?
- [62:11]
B
Oh, by the way, I think I was confused because, yeah, there was some. There was some sort of nomination or something that happened that made me think Lamar Jackson won the mvp.
- [62:21]
A
He did.
- [62:22]
B
No, Josh actually won it. There must have been some sort of preliminary vote. I don't know that much about football. Something happened where I thought Lamar Jackson won it, but it was like, no. Actually, a couple days later, the actual event happened, and then Josh brought it home.
- [62:41]
A
I don't believe you appreciate. Dude, pretty positive.
- [62:47]
B
Even when I lose, I win. It's like, actually, they decided that the Chiefs actually cheated. We actually won, and we went to the super bowl and won.
- [62:55]
A
The butterfly effect. Different scenarios. That's not real, basically. Oh, damn. Okay. Oh, maybe we should save that. Okay.
- [63:10]
B
No.
- [63:13]
A
I'll see how it plays out. We have aircon coming next week. I'm not gonna admit. All right, here we go. I'm not going to mention names because there's no point, because it's not worth it, but you know what I'm talking about. Some happened this week. I don't even know what happened. There's. There's another. Okay, here we go. This is so stupid. People keep asking me address this every one of my lives. I'm like. I just pretend I don't see it because stupid. Ready? I've never paid anyone ever, for Push Trees promo because I. It's always just us. And I. There's a certain YouTuber, a WeTuber guy. I'm like, you know what? He takes pictures. He takes cool pictures. I'm gonna pay him. And I asked him, like, hey, how much to do a Push Trees promo? He told me the price. I said, cool. Sent the money over the next morning. The gear didn't come in for, like, two and a half months. So I sent it to him. And I'm like, hey, I know we already paid for. It's gonna take a long time. They'll just keep it. And when I send you the stuff. Sending stuff. He goes, all right, cool. I sent it to him. He posted pictures. Deal's done. We already did it, like four days later because the guy texts me a couple weeks ago. The guy text like, hey, man, I did the pictures and all that. Just let me know when you said the Money and go, hey, I'm not sure if you remember. Remember we talked about it? I sent it over. The next day they sent him a screenshot of my bank sending it to him with a date. And he goes, oh, my bad. Missed that. All good. Okay, cool. Like four days later, something happens to where this fool starts. There's no probably. I'm not going to say names because then. Then I might as well have them sitting right here. You go figure it out yourself. You really care. Anyway, I'm just telling you about a situation for everyone in the community that knows what I'm talking about. Certain Wetuber guy, he. Something happens where he's acting weird on the Internet or whatever it is. I don't care. I'm not paying attention. I'm. I'm not into drama stuff, right? So he's talking about stuff. Stuff going on his page. And then some stuff happens to where he starts, like, acting out toward people, starts acting different, kind of acting like, kind of like hard. I don't know, don't care. Not paying attention. But then he posts a video talking about, like, shooting people, and my name is in there because I owe him money. So he says. I'm like, wait, I just sent you that. We just talked about it. I just. I just sent you the confirmation with your bank account saying transferred. And you went, oh, my bad. That's right. So I'm like, all right. So a couple days later, you're like, now this is happening. I'm like, oh, something's mentally off, obviously. Obviously something's going on. And that's sad. But when he says that, like, oh, yeah, I want me to get shot now. Wow, that's weird. I have stuff to do. Like, I'm not gonna pay attention to this. I have to do. So he talked about Eric. He talked about a bunch of other people. So I wasn't talking about to Eric. So maybe by this time this comes out, I won't even have to talk to about Eric and all be cleared up. Because I. I don't know. Don't know. I'm not really into the whole back and forth thing of talking because this person DM'd me. Before he posted the video about the shooting people, he DM me and said, oh, on one of my stories is the day I did the stand up. Like, congrats, dude. That's so sick that you're on stage. Oh, man, they're so tight. And the next morning, just send me a bunch of gun emojis on a different story. I was like, what the is happening. So that's when I went, oh, something's wrong. Because I didn't even respond. With gun emojis. Maybe it means like, oh, get him, partner, or some. I don't know. So I even opened him, like, and then that. That. I don't. I don't. And that post came out talking about shooting people. And I was like, oh, wow, my name's in there. How weird. I don't owe anybody money.
- [66:53]
B
See, like a rage baiter dude.
- [66:55]
A
I think it's. He's doing like, the Fousey tube thing. Now that I know Internet stuff. I remember everybody's like, you don't work with food. I didn't know. Now I know more about him. It's kind of like that crash out route. I think getting me to do this, to do a video on my channel was kind of like, hopefully that was the outcome of that, like, talking about it and then like, oh, man, sorry. It didn't. Wasn't really meaning it. But he already got promo off it. You know what I mean? So that's why I'm not saying nays. If you only know, you'll know.
- [67:20]
B
Yeah.
- [67:21]
A
And everybody, don't make it easy. Don't put in the comments. Make people go find out if they really want to find out, because I don't care. Don't care enough about that. So that's what's going on. I have no idea. I didn't do anything. Fulcrum's been going back and forth with a dude. I don't know what's going on. Don't care. Don't care to find out and do anything. I did nothing wrong. Literally. I didn't even have a back and forth. I didn't even have a back and forth. I was like, what? Oh, I was at the lrg. She was like, oh, that's stupid. And I kept continuing. So for everyone out there, please just don't, like, keep asking me in lives. So if you watch podcasts, for at least all you watching the podcast now, you know, please don't bring up because I don't care. I'm not gonna talk about. Not gonna make a video about it. I'm gonna do any of that stuff.
- [68:21]
B
Because it was hella goofy.
- [68:24]
A
Very goofy. Very, very, very goofy. Goofy movie at that. All right? But then that pizza in a goofy movie looks so damn good. Oh, God. I was fasting. Think about pizza.
- [68:42]
B
All right? We were at a. We were in Florida at a pizza spot. My kids started petting this lady's dog.
- [68:49]
A
Oh, that's right. That's right. What?
- [68:53]
B
Just like sitting outside eating pizza. And then I started talking to her, coming to realize she's one of the top BKFC fighters in the world.
- [69:03]
A
This is one of the girls I watched. They came out, they said 559. And you said she's from Fresno.
- [69:09]
B
Yeah. Oh, that was the other thing. She took her a step further and said she was from Clovis.
- [69:13]
A
Clovis.
- [69:13]
B
And then I was like, you know Trent?
- [69:15]
A
And she's like, marty assumes everyone knows somebody if they're from the town. Do you know Trent did though she didn't know trend.
- [69:26]
B
She kind of felt like she probably did Anderson, stop. I busted out him and his sister.
- [69:30]
A
Named a human say his last. It's not that little.
- [69:34]
B
Oh, I thought it was like a tiny.
- [69:36]
A
No, dude, do you know Trent? That's like someone from Buffalo. Do you know Marty? Yeah, yeah, like O'Neill. No, that's gonna happen.
- [69:45]
B
I thought Clovis was like a 10 house town type thing.
- [69:49]
A
Oh, man. There's no denounced. Even Rosie's town Planada is like a thousand or two thousand people. Yeah. So no. Started having a rave back there on our thing right now. I started going crazy. Okay, that's pretty sick. What the hell? It's Raven. That's so Raven.
- [70:09]
B
But anyway, I think she knew Trent.
- [70:11]
A
Get out of here. Do you know Trent? I bust out a picture. She goes, I think I do.
- [70:17]
B
She goes. He goes, the club was high. I'm like, yeah.
- [70:22]
A
I think he did actually. Damn it. He did go to clothes. But yeah, that, that happened. Marty's like, little pet. This dog. BKFC fight. Do you know our friend?
- [70:32]
B
So casual. She's like, yeah, no, I'm just out here for my next fight.
- [70:35]
A
She just went like this tomorrow. Lined him up. Yeah. 559. Should have challenged her, right? You should have FaceTime David Diaz. But yo, David Diaz, I'm gonna smack your friend right now. Let's start fighting right now. And you should have fought her and got beat up. Yelled world star as you started hitting. If you yell world star, that's like saying fight. You're right. Right.
- [71:00]
B
It's my understanding. Yeah, that's good branding.
- [71:05]
A
It's good branding. Right on, right on point.
- [71:07]
B
Anyway, she's gonna come on the show. Oh, I'm looking forward to it.
- [71:11]
A
Ah, Marty wants to find you.
- [71:14]
B
Right. We're gonna have April come in here and fight her and see what's up with all the. She's been talking.
- [71:19]
A
Can't chug a bottle of reds. Frank's Red hot.
- [71:23]
B
Oh, no. You put a lifetime supplier. Frank's on the line. I don't know.
- [71:26]
A
A lifetime supply. Yo, real quick in the comments. What would you do for a lifetime supply? Your favorite thing. Who would you fight? Would you fight Mike Tyson? Not a Jake Paul style fight with his ass out. You got to make it like a real fight. Would you fight Mike Tyson? Let's take Mike Tyson off this now.
- [71:49]
B
Yeah, it's got to be.
- [71:50]
A
Fight Eddie Hall. No, no. Do you guys know who Eddie hall is? Look him up on your side so you can see him. Eddie hall is the world's strongest man. He is the guy that went viral because he lost. He stopped bulking so much and he went to MMA and fought two dudes at the same time. Did you see that? Eddie Hall. They put two guys in the. In the octagon with them because he's so strong. And he knocked them both. He knocked one dude so hard he was asleep up and stiffened right on his face. Eddie Hall. For everyone. Google Eddie Hall. If you don't know who Eddie hall is, would you fist fight him? 2 minute round. 12 minute round. For a lifetime supply of your favorite thing. And what is. You know, how about this? A lifetime supply of money. I'll take that. Nobody thought about that. Gushers and Mike and Ike's. I'm thinking about other stuff. Not for real, though. Hamburger Helper. If you can have a lifetime supply of Hamburger Helper and it made you skinnier and more healthy, that's Eddie Hall, a beast of a human being. Yeah, that's him. I'll fight him. I'll fight him for a lifetime supply. Teeth. Because I'll need that after fighting this guy. Look at him. He's. He's the equivalent of the Hulk, I think, in human form.
- [73:17]
B
I'll give you that.
- [73:18]
A
He's the world's strongest man.
- [73:19]
B
So you're fighting him for not unlimited money, but what?
- [73:23]
A
Oh, Marty, I was talking on my ass for the past 10 minutes. I have no idea.
- [73:26]
B
You didn't land on anything.
- [73:28]
A
Oh, this was all just. Would I be doing if I was alone? Be thinking about it like what? I find him for a lifetime supply of Lululemon underwear because they're worth more than gold, apparently. What? You ever bought something and you're like, I don't want to put it back. I already have my card out. The people are in line behind me. I feel weird. Have you ever done that? Yeah. You have. Because you probably grew up poor. We just had to take stuff out of the cart. Like oh, we'll put that back. He take that out. He take that out. All right, we're under the. We're under the price. The money we have. Check me out. We've done that many times. But now that I'm older and, like, I don't have kids and worries like that. I haven't, like, oh, put that back. I've done it before, but that's too expensive, that. But I went to Lululemon the other day and it was with Rosie, and, you know, I was like, I'll just buy it. It's fine. I heard they're expensive as hell. How much do you think a three pack of underwear was? A men's underwear? Marty, I want you to take a guess on how much the said to me. Three pairs of underwear.
- [74:35]
B
75.
- [74:36]
A
74. Damn. You were on it.
- [74:38]
B
Dude.
- [74:40]
A
If this was Price is Right rules, you are.
- [74:43]
B
Damn. 25 a piece.
- [74:45]
A
Are you joking me? Are you kidding me? I already had my card out, about to swipe, and I saw the pr. It went, oh, no, I didn't swipe. I. I tapped. I was about to tap and went, look at the price. Wait, what? Because I got Rosie something, too, and me something.
- [74:59]
B
I went, I need a three for 25 bucks.
- [75:03]
A
Are you kidding me? What? So I would get a lot of times to buy Lululemon slang that and be a millionaire. That's what I'd fight Eddie hall for. I'd duck him. I'd get on the ground and roll.
- [75:14]
B
Unlimited wealth.
- [75:15]
A
Yeah. I'd roll like the fat black kid from a hook right down the street. And that's what I'd fight. That's how I fight Eddie Hall. I kick his front knees in and I just. Just hope he doesn't bite my head off. How do you fight him, Marty? Fredo Octagon. Two minutes. You got last.
- [75:29]
B
I stomp on his toes. He falls over.
- [75:31]
A
I stomp on his toes. First thing you say. What, what was the second move?
- [75:40]
B
I stomped his head in.
- [75:41]
A
No, no. Stopping on his toes is an equal. Stomp his head in.
- [75:44]
B
No, I stomp on his toes. He looks down, he's all flustered. Then I start.
- [75:47]
A
He's all knees. Not hurt, though.
- [75:50]
B
He just goes, oh, you never expected that.
- [75:53]
A
He didn't expect it.
- [75:54]
B
One good flying knee. He looks down at his toes. That knees up there.
- [75:59]
A
So you're jumping straight up.
- [76:01]
B
It's a flying knee from a standstill.
- [76:02]
A
Yeah, okay, that's what I'm saying. Like straight up style.
- [76:05]
B
Bender.
- [76:05]
A
Look what happens when you have a good back. Look at that. You can fly. Knee.
- [76:08]
B
I fly near him, right in the face.
- [76:11]
A
Okay.
- [76:11]
B
Falls back. Then I catch him like Tim Kennedy did Steve. I'll slam him on the ground. What? My choice. Dealer's choice. From there.
- [76:21]
A
Have you ever seen a kid describe what he would do to, like, if he was a superhero, like, if that was me, I'd grab him by his head, I'd swing him around, I'd throw him. So that's what you just did right now. Doing none of that. He'd get all flustered from a toe stop. He'd get so flustered you'd look down. Dick kick. Flying knee.
- [76:42]
B
I spit around. Kick him in the dick from the back. Then we're choking him out. Body slam.
- [76:47]
A
Kick him in the dick from the back. Kick him in the dick from the back. It sounds bomb. Dude, that sounds hilarious. Get hit in the dick from the back. Station happen. Say it again. Hit the different. Oh, no, no. You just got kicked because it sounds like something else happened. I had to process that twice.
- [77:08]
B
It's a technical move in mma. You could have as Bruce Buffer about that.
- [77:12]
A
You can. As Bruce Buffer about it. Come on out from under the table. He's just been chilling. He just chills down there in tight.
- [77:19]
B
Longest intro of all time.
- [77:22]
A
So, guys, today, thank you so much. We just want to introduce our guest. It's a get out.
- [77:26]
B
He's known for his intros, but we actually did a.
- [77:29]
A
He's our outro for him. Eddie hall looks like Zangief from Street Fighter. That's who he looks like. Not the Hulk. He looks like the big buff dude from. From Street Fighter. Dead on. He has the same hair. What was I doing? What's wrong with us? We didn't call that out. That's crazy. My first. Really. My first introduction to stand up video games. There's a story. There used to be a boys and girls club across the street from my grandma Dolores's. I'm pretty sure it's still there. And I used to go in there and play the games, you know, and they would have, like, the concession stand. Oh, man. Sunny d a cookie. Laffy Taffies, but the little baby ones. And, you know, if you get Laffy Taffies and you just grab the plastic and you smack it over and over and over. The Laffy Taffy will get down and do, like, a little pocket, like a pillow. My teacher showed me that. I used to do it all the time. Not Laffy Taffy. Airheads. Laffy Taffy.
- [78:23]
B
Some real taffy down by the Ocean damn near OD'd off them.
- [78:26]
A
I was gonna say, don't be talking about. I don't have right now. Laffy Taffy by the ocean. Oof. That pretty much is what nails made out of. Because you could just. Oh, my God.
- [78:37]
B
Real. The little Taffy things. The real ones come on. They come in little cotton candy style colors.
- [78:42]
A
There's a Simpsons episode where he's eating something and he keeps biting and it never goes away. Yeah, that's Laffy Taffy. Except the whole time you're just like, damn, dude, if I die right now, I wouldn't even be mad.
- [78:53]
B
Yeah, it's true.
- [78:54]
A
Except if it was banana. I don't want the banana. Life Taffy. Not a fan. Not a minion.
- [78:59]
B
You know, I don't like him either, but it's more like a banana cream, so I really didn't mind it.
- [79:04]
A
I'm not really a fan. Banana. Give me any kind of pinks or blue. Any Miami Vice style colors I will take.
- [79:10]
B
I can taste right now. I don't really love the purple one either, but I'll take it.
- [79:13]
A
I'll eat the purple with the white head. I'll eat the purple with a little bit of white.
- [79:16]
B
Yeah, it does got that little Pedia file logo right in the center.
- [79:21]
A
Pedia file. Pedia. Pedialyte file logo. The Pedialyte file. Marty, if you want to fight, you start telling me before the episode. I'm not even stretched. We'll fight. We'll fight right now. I need to stretch my back real quick. Stop. Where the hell do. No, no, no, no, no, no. We go into Laffy Taffy. Where were we going before that? Oh, you know what? Me. All right, ready? Pretend that I'm on stage.
- [79:50]
B
I'm a heckler.
- [79:51]
A
No, I'm just pretending like, okay, now I gotta remember things here. I just go, oh. Because I thought last. We'll talk about the set later. I may have messed up on my last set a little bit, but I think we talked about last week. Oh, we did. We did.
- [80:04]
B
No, we didn't.
- [80:05]
A
We did. We didn't we?
- [80:06]
B
I don't think so.
- [80:07]
A
Okay, I don't remember.
- [80:08]
B
I don't remember.
- [80:09]
A
So. I remember what we were talking about. That's why I said, oh, pretend, pretend. I gotta bring it back. I remember what we were talking about. Are you ready? There used to be a boys and girls club across the street from my house. And I used to buy cookies and stuff. And at the concession stand there used to be airheads. My teacher showed me. Did you Just see what happened to me.
- [80:28]
B
Oh, you're evolving as an artist.
- [80:32]
A
All right, we'll see you guys next week. Dude, we have to go out on a high note. That was incredible. That was incredible. George Costanza. Leave him on high, Coco. Okay, here we go anyway. Airheads. There was a bunch of stand up video games. There was air hockey table. I would get quarters from my grandma. Grandma let me get some quarters and I go over there. I used to play Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat and all those games. Marvel versus Capcom, all that. And I remember I'm playing Street Fighter, Playing Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and I'm playing Street Fighter. And there's this tall Asian kid there, but I'm like six. So when I mean like tall Asian kid, He was like 16 years old, maybe 15. You know what I mean? He's a teenager, but he's like straight chasing Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker style Asians, he might be affiliated Rush Hour style, except not like Yakuza. More like mod Crips for Mercedes or Crips. Asian Crips. He wear the blue flag in his pocket. All right, he dressed like Snoop Dogg. He was just in the cut. He had like a tall pro club, blue shirt, gray dickies, high socks. Probably like Air Force ones on. And he had a beanie, but he had it back a little, so he had slick hair.
- [81:52]
B
It's like if you blended OG and Snoop together.
- [81:55]
A
Yes. And. And any villain from a Bruce Lee movie to be a little more racist. Just so we're a little more. Just in the. All right, let's start off there. Any dude that ever came after Bruce Lee, that's what he looked like. Okay, Asian fool. He'd always come up and he'd play next to me. He'd always play. Oh, yeah. And he. Sometimes when I couldn't beat a fool, I put a quarter in like, yo, can you pass this for me? And he. He was good. So he'd, you know, he. Zank is hard to be. I know we brought up Zangavers. Zang is hard to beat. The tall guy, Sagat with the I with the eye patch. He's hard to beat too, with those knees. Talk about knees. So sometimes I let him be some characters for me. All right, just calm down. I was a little kid and I always remembered him like, damn, he wears a lot of blue. And he's the first person I ever heard say, hella tight. The word tight. He goes, oh, that's tight. I was like, what the hell did he say? I heard him playing he's like, oh, that was tight. I remember thinking, what is he saying? It's like the middle of the day. I remember the sun's coming through the glass at the top, like a sunlit ass room. Like, playing games as a kid, eating Laffy, tabbies and lollipops. And so I'm like, hella tight. What's tight? Me. What's. Why would you say tight? What's tight? What do you mean? I didn't get it. Anyway, that is irrelevant. This is the first time I hear the word tight. Anyway, I'm playing the game. I'm playing the games. And then I remember I passed the game one day and he's like, damn, you finally beat him. Like, oh, yeah, yeah. And that kid got murdered like a week later. I kept asking where he was, where he was. Everybody's like, oh, he's the kid that got shot to death. I remember someone got murked down the stream, like, oh, my God, that's crazy. Someone actually got shot. And then I was like, yo, this fool's dead. And that was it. That was the whole story. I just remember going, where's he at? And they're like, yeah, he's the one that got shot. I go, oh, so, like, where is he? Like, he's dead. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? That's it. He's the first Asian gangster I ever met. He. That was sad.
- [84:00]
B
Only Asian gangster I knew was the. That piece of bad guy, the henchman from Rush Hour.
- [84:06]
A
Stop. You don't know him, though. I thought you were talking about a childhood friend. Dude.
- [84:14]
B
Okay, yeah.
- [84:17]
A
Damn it. With a mole. With the Eminem bleach hair.
- [84:22]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [84:23]
A
$50 million. I want $50 million. He had, like, a racist Chinese accent. Slash him like Mikey. Like, like, he kind of had like a weird Ninja Turtle voice. Ninja Turtles sound like Brooklyn rappers or like fools from New York. I like it. Speaking of pizza, can we just get something? It's like a four time. We brought pizza up today. What are we doing? Oh, and last episode we brought up Pizza. The unrestricted.
- [84:53]
B
Oh, and by the way, your boy got a pizza oven. So I need all suggestions and comments.
- [84:58]
A
About to go down make pizzas. Can you guys do me a favor? You need to watch. Is it called Devour Power, I believe, or Devour? It's a YouTube channel. Devour TV. Devour something. Look it up, Tony Baloney. It's called the craziest bits. It's a vlog I watched. I will fly to New York City and then drive across right to New Jersey. Because I don't want to fly in New Jersey. I will drive. Fly to New York City and then drive to this place in New Jersey. Holy shit. It's got the best looking pizza I've ever seen my entire existence. It looks incredible. Oh, my God. Holy.
- [85:33]
B
What kind of pizza are you talking about? Like, how would you describe that crust?
- [85:39]
A
All of it, everything. He makes a burger pizza, he has a taco. Beat that. You see that pizza? Oh, you see that pizza that went viral? It's a pizza with a bunch of street tacos covering it in a row. Like in a row street tacos, little tacos lined up. So you eat the taco tickle and then you eat the pizza. Oh, my God. What was that? Was it in Titanic? It's going down. Is that the song? That's what plays every time I think of that pizza spot. Not because I'm sad, just because, like, I'll go down with a. For that pizza, dude. Yeah, I want it right now. I'll fly over there right now just to eat that. It looks so bomb now.
- [86:19]
B
I pointed you in the direction of the best Chicago style pizza I've ever had. While you're in Vegas. What would you grade it?
- [86:24]
A
It was Chicago style pizza, Marty. But it was a chain. I don't know if you know that.
- [86:29]
B
What else is Vegas? It's got to be a chain.
- [86:31]
A
No, I want something off the chain restaurant. It was, okay, it's called Giordano's. When I walked up to the front, I went, there's no restaurant. It's just a window.
- [86:42]
B
Oh, no, that's not the same one. The one I'm talking about is a real restaurant.
- [86:45]
A
Oh, well, it was just a window. And I'm like, oh. And then they opened it.
- [86:51]
B
Oh, it's got to be different.
- [86:53]
A
Open. The window went. And I just saw a bunch of frozen pizzas. And they go, oh, it says we ship. We ship nationwide. I went, we're parked in the red. Ah, I hope this is worth it. And then I was. After I fasted, after I ate the good stuff, I was like, let me go eat a piece of pizza. And I got it. I must have been high. I ordered. I thought I ordered a big. I ordered a pizza this big. I think nobody wanted any. I ordered a pizza this big.
- [87:20]
B
Dude, you gotta go in there, you sit. It takes them like an hour to make it. You eat it in there. That's.
- [87:26]
A
I ate it. All I know is the sauce on top. Honey, what's that emoji? That's how I feel about sauce on top.
- [87:35]
B
Yeah, that's a lot. You gotta know that going in. You need a fork.
- [87:37]
A
The bears. And that's it. Yeah, it was okay. That's all that was. That was all right.
- [87:44]
B
I need to know how to make a nice five cheese with some oils and some nice white pizza.
- [87:49]
A
With some pizza. Making competition up. I think I'm pretty good at it. If I have all the stuff I'm pretty good at making. I did it for years. I'm pretty good at it. That's not. I don't want to wait three days to make dough. Dough that takes days.
- [88:05]
B
Still a designer, so I think my skills are going to translate nicely over.
- [88:08]
A
They probably would. They probably would. So for the next coming weeks, we have a lot of guests. Like, a lot.
- [88:18]
B
Some really cool ones.
- [88:19]
A
Yeah. Back to back. Super stoked. Not gonna even talk about the next guest, but I'm super stoked about the next guest. It's gonna be awesome. And then we have a nut. We just booked another. There's a certain comedian out there that I think is really, really funny. And we just booked him. And I'm very excited for that. On top of all the other people, I'm super stoked. This is gonna be super sick. And thank you guys for being here. Yeah, I don't know. We need. Oh, could we chat? GPT what stories have been told on the Dope As Usual podcast in season one, and it'll give us a list. What I did in season one and two is I would go, hey, Marty, for today's episode, I have a season one story time. I want to tell one of the stories out of the six in this episode. And I pick it, I write it, and go retell that story in podcast form, where I can go into full detail for 40 minutes. And that's what the first seasons were of Solos. They're just all stories. I can't remember what I've talked about because it's confusing. What do you want me to do? It's been four years of podcast. I don't remember what we've talked about. And that's just simple fact. If I could write it down and go, season one, you talked about this, this, this, this, and this. Here's a list of every story time you've ever done. Here's a list of all the podcast stories you've done. Mark it off. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. You've done all of those. Never talk about those. You have all 14 of these. You can talk about whatever you want. Like, cool, thanks. And that's it. Because I'm just lost right now. I'm so confused. Dude. It's like that mismatch game where you flip a card and you go, all right, flip a card over here. They match. That's one point. It's like they just. You mix them up every single time you flip them back over, then you shuffle them again. That's the game I'm playing right now. On top of being high as all the time, you know.
- [90:02]
B
Oh, they're just having conversations, talking about, thank you.
- [90:05]
A
And I've told these and. And also you have to go through them and live them. I don't even know if I've told the stories. So on top of that, I'm getting more organized. I downloaded an app to do this real quick. Guys, get yourself organized. If you're in business, just be organized. Be super organized. Went to the LRG Push trees commercial. They had a treatment. Never had a treatment. That was incredible. Shotless and treatment. Every single thing, every step. What the look is. Why? What's an example of that scene? Oh, incredible. That's great. Besides that. The reason I'm bringing this up, I went into my notebook, I went, ah, I really need to get back on my notes. It's been a minute. The date said February 10th on it. You know, we're in February, so it's been at least a year. That means. Right. And the first thing it said was start the podcast, the five year Old Notebook. It's been a while since I've gone done my notebook. It's been five years. And it said, finally get an AMG or G wagon.
- [91:11]
B
Damn.
- [91:11]
A
So this is when I had the Honda.
- [91:12]
B
Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Before the podcast. Yeah.
- [91:17]
A
That's how long it's been since I've been organized. And my brain's been doing this the whole time, working and doing this. Mike. I'll get back on that. Yeah, yeah. There was so many things on there. I go. I did all of those things like three years ago. That's how long it's been since I checked my notebook. Because I have like seven notebooks. I have one that's just called Brain Talk. It's just ideas. I thought it was. It was fun. And then I have one for just stand up ideas that I found the other day I forgot I had from, like eight years ago. So much. Oh, the most offensive I've ever read. Dude. You know, in the office, you know when like, Ryan sets up Creed a website so he can do his thoughts and he's like, I just set up an Open. Open, Doc. Some of it's shocking, even for the Internet. That's how I felt when I opened the book and went, ah. Like. Like a horror movie. You open up, the storm comes out. That's when. Oh, God. It said cancel. Cancel. Cancel. Just flew out of the book. I dodged them all. I'm still gonna say it. I have the luxury of being brown just enough. I get to walk the thin line.
- [92:27]
B
Fifty shades of brown.
- [92:28]
A
For real, dude. And I can. I can go like this at any time. I'm like that blue from X Men. If it gets me in the door. I could be like this a little bit like, don't worry, man. Hey, dude. And I just sound good, brother. Sound more like OG over here. If I just wear gloves, a little brown, put on a Raiders beanie, he'll never know. I'm not a security guard. Get out of here, dude. I'll put my hair out with a skew with a Raiders beanie, dude. I might as well be a dock worker. Like, that's. That's me. Look at my dad. I wear some lugs. I might be a field worker. Don't get me in an orange vest. I work for the. I can blend into anything in the world. But if I lost weight and put a cowboy hat on. But look at that white guy. He looks a little Italian, and that'd be it. That's it. Like, I passed. I'm so. It's hilarious to me.
- [93:20]
B
You would whiten for sure.
- [93:23]
A
Oh, yeah. Oh, when I look, it's the. It's the fat cheeks thing that made, like, oh, Mexican. What was it the other day? I was like, the. The two worst things from. Or the natural enemies of. Of Mexicans. I can't remember the first ones. Like, was it type 2 diabetes? And there was something else. And I mean, I was like, oh, man, that's so up. Because it's so true. I can't remember what it was, but I wrote it. I can't remember. I won't give it away, but diet. We stopped drinking soda. We love soda. Little soda. And bad Chinese food. Anything with syrup in it, basically. I'm surprised we haven't devoured the world's supply of pancakes yet. Just four families alone. That's. That's six, 200 people, dude. Four Mexican families.
- [94:08]
B
Mexicans like pancakes.
- [94:09]
A
No, they don't give them the idea. I'm saying, dude, anything with syrups in it. Soda, orange, chicken teriyaki. Careful, dude. You want Slurpees? Do you want to drink a Slurpee again? You better Chill the fuck out, dude. Jose, pancakes are disgusting.
- [94:26]
B
Oh, Mexicans don't find lean.
- [94:28]
A
Don't find. You mean the guys that distribute what so syrupy? You really don't know. Mexicans love lean. Third generation Mexican. The first generations are hard ass workers. The second ones are like, like, yeah, man, you know you're doing a good job. You're trying. The third one's like, I'm just gonna sit here forever. I might just drink lean and scam, scam. Ubereats never got order over and over and over and over. And that's how you just live. And a bunch of fools just went this fool. Because that's what they do. You don't be a thief, you piece of. I can't even get by right now, dog. As they're pouring a double cup. You're drinking expensive ass, baby. Mom's about to go from work. He's turning the bottle upside down. Just getting pissed in my. Looking for a job right now staring at the Sprite, watch it turn pink. Hella fools just got defend. That's real. Because some fool just went like that shook his bottom with a well first cool, dog. Like sometimes the government needs to help you at 48.
- [95:41]
B
I pictured the never had a job.
- [95:43]
A
I never had a job before.
- [95:44]
B
Who's the cholo off next Friday?
- [95:46]
A
Oh yeah, Joker.
- [95:48]
B
Yeah.
- [95:49]
A
Hey man, those are hard working fools. They had mad money in that hydraulic pump. That's a whole different kind of Mexican. I'm not. That's second generation. That's 20 years ago. That's. That's the good ones.
- [95:59]
B
Gotcha.
- [96:00]
A
I'm the third. I'm the third generation. And my cousins, they're all the third generation. A lot of us in there, most of us think Spanish, but they're all blocking the freeways. But they don't even speak Spanish.
- [96:13]
B
They don't like. So your cousins don't speak Spanish?
- [96:16]
A
No, no. I'm just being a piece of. That's all. That's opening. One of my opening lines on the stand up is talking about that. Remember, I'm gonna switch it up. There's too much of the same pattern. That's a whole different story. Yeah, Nas, they speak Spanish, they get it at least as far as I know. But yeah, I don't know where we're going with that, but yeah, that's it. That's all I had to talk about today. And I don't remember story times. I. I don't maybe chat GT.
- [96:54]
B
It might be able to do something like that. I'm gonna ask it I'm gonna.
- [96:59]
A
I'm gonna. I'm gonna ask it. Marty's like, I don't even think anymore. Dog. Chad, GPT. What would April think is a good text for this?
- [97:08]
B
For real? That's right.
- [97:10]
A
Don't worry. I will be right back. Joe, did you see the new update on the phone? I don't really appreciate it, but I do appreciate it. Ready? Let me just tell you what. What the conversation is. And then boom. Like for my friend, I didn't open the text. He texted me three times, said, hey, that's gonna work out. I'm gonna move the text on that clip. The next one. By the way, what are you doing next Saturday? Oh, so in here, do you see your phone is now summarizing whatever text that you got and not read. So my friend said, hey. When I was at the the hotel, he said, hey, come by, take a dab. We're all gonna go downstairs right now. Probably gonna go get food. And said from Sebastian offered dabs. Hey, come take a dab real quick before we go downstairs. He said, offered dabs. If you want to get burger, let's come downstairs. And it was three different texts. They summarized and put in a little note. And it'll have a little note.
- [98:11]
B
I don't think I've look right there.
- [98:12]
A
Designer ready to start working on social media?
- [98:15]
B
Ready.
- [98:16]
A
Once files are loaded.
- [98:18]
B
Yeah, but it's all.
- [98:20]
A
And summarize what they're talking about it. That's how I feel. 3am like, all they're gonna need for is to plug this into the wall, dude. And we'll flop over to the podcast and we put that app that keeps my eyes low looking up.
- [98:39]
B
And it'll make our mouths move.
- [98:40]
A
And you see. And behind our mouths movie. You see drool coming down from the real mouth. This is crazy, dude. This is insane to me. Go watch the movie Idiocracy because that's what the happening. Dude, the text just summarized itself. I don't think it's good for us. Can you remember your mom's phone number? Neither can I. You can, because you're a different different. It's different, man. You'd never phone when you were a kid. You had to remember her number. Just like I don't remember mom's new number. I remember my grandma. Oh, that's my grandma's. Dolores's old.
- [99:19]
B
Or there's a couple of them that are locked in forever.
- [99:22]
A
You know what I just did? I said my grandma Grace's number in the edit. Marty, do this. Can you bleep my grandma's phone number. I would really appreciate you bleep in my grandma's phone number. Please do not forget in the edit, Marty, because this is a live switch. We might, you know. Please bleep my grandma's phone number. I just did that. Thank you. Oh my God. I said the wrong grandma's phone number. I said the live grandma's phone number. Damn it.
- [99:48]
B
When I was a kid, when I like knew my grandma, our phone numbers were one number off. I'm pretty sure it is by coincidence. Like it ended. Mine was 9318, 6, 3, 1, 8. And it was the same before that.
- [100:02]
A
That's Baller. My grandma's number is this number. My other grandma is this number. My dad's number is both of theirs together. First three of my grandma, last four of my other grandma. That's my dad's phone number. The weirdest. From two different grandmas on both sides. What? All house numbers. So like the fact that they even all had a house number. This is a long time ago. Who still got a house phone? That'd be Baller. Do they even offer that with AT&T anymore? I don't know. I don't remember.
- [100:31]
B
Yeah, they try to get you in with the landline still. There's a lot of old people.
- [100:35]
A
That's just for unsolved mysteries. That's just a choke. Intruders. Nobody use a landline no more. That's just a cord in the wall. Fools don't even have that line anymore. Oh yeah they do. It's for Internet. Huh? Right. Okay. Yeah. Never mind. It's a little cube.
- [100:50]
B
I couldn't even tell you. Last time I saw one though, in nature. Oh.
- [100:54]
A
And I was like, nature? I'm a burnt ass fool. I went to trees and imagine like. What do you mean?
- [101:02]
B
Just a house phone on the hanging out.
- [101:04]
A
I would do that in my backyard. Put. That doesn't make sense. One day I'm gonna. I'm gonna have a. A consensual wonderland like. Like Michael Jackson. I'm gonna have a fun one, but one's like from blank check. I'm gonna have an adult. But I mean adult by being over 18, I don't mean adult. And other. There's no way to talk about this without my words getting misconstrued. Talking about Michael Jackson and adult play lens. This is terrible. Let's get out of here. It's time to get out here. We need a better metaphor. I don't want you to have more work. I was gonna go hard Right now. I don't want more bleeps. No, no, let's just stop that. We all know what happened. Okay, here we go. Oh, what allegedly happened? I don't know if that really happened. We'll see. Oh, no, he's not here to defend himself. And when he was here, he didn't really defend himself. I mean, he did. Can we get off the subject?
- [102:01]
B
Let's kind of addict to that one lady in that video we watched, Remember?
- [102:04]
A
He's like, your voice is so annoying. Who cares? You know what voice was annoying? He was right. He's the king of pop. You let him say whatever he wants.
- [102:15]
B
Especially about your voice.
- [102:16]
A
You go in there, you lock the door. He's gonna be fine. I'll see you tomorrow. That's what happened. That's what they said to that kid. He's the king of pop. Oh, I love south park so much. They nail everything. All right, here we go, guys. Let's get out of here. This is turning to Ranch City. We've now been here for nine hours, and, yeah, we just been troubleshooting, and we're all high and burnt and tired. So I think we're just ranting at this point. When little kids get delirious and tired, they just start talking. That's pretty much what I'm doing right now. But when I get delirious and talk, I say the worst things. Watch me at four in the morning by myself. Sometimes I look around, I'm like, oh, yeah, it's just me. That's right. Man, that was bad. Yeah. Okay, let's get out of here. Marty, thanks for being here. Appreciate it.
- [103:08]
B
Appreciate you guys. First time doing this.
- [103:10]
A
I'm gonna be live switching. All right, guys, thank you so much for being here. Right on time. How long we here for? Our 47. Let's go. Thanks for being here, guys. It's been the Dope as Usual podcast. Lots of guests coming up, so the next time we see you solo, I'm not sure, but thank you for being here. Thanks for hanging out with us. Don't forget to leave a. Like, make sure you're still subscribed to this channel because sometimes we get unsubscribed. Don't know how. Don't ask me, but thank you very much for doing that. Hit the notification bell. We're here every Tuesday at 12:30. Yeah. All right, guys, thank you for being here. We appreciate you. Till next time. I'm dope as you all. This is Mario Neal. This is the Dope As Usual podcast. Have a dope ass day. Drive safe. Let's go. Oh, you can. Perfect. Perfect, perfect.