Things Went Left w/ Ali Siddiq!

Summary

DOPE AS USUAL Podcast

Episode: Things Went Left w/ Ali Siddiq!
Date: February 17, 2026
Host(s): Marty O'Neill & Thomas Araujo
Guest: Ali Siddiq

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Ali Siddiq in a freewheeling, candid, and hilarious conversation with hosts Thomas ("Dopas Yolo") and Marty. Covering everything from the comedy business, drug-dealing origins, family struggles, homelessness in U.S. cities, prison stories, and independence in the entertainment industry, the conversation blends raw honesty, street smarts, and unique comedic insight. Ali pulls no punches on how he sees the world and what it means to "do it yourself" in both comedy and life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Wild Rodeo Stories & City Life

• Thomas recounts a recent visit to Houston where a friend was tricked into fighting a real bull instead of a mascot, resulting in a near-disaster ([01:10]).
• The trio dives into the grim realities of homelessness in San Francisco and Los Angeles, describing their personal encounters and the overall decline of these cities.
  • Quote: “If you don’t smell piss, you’re not there.” – Thomas ([02:48])
  • Quote: “San Francisco is very homeless.” – Ali ([02:41])

2. Drugs, Upbringing, and Family Dynamics

• Thomas and Ali share experiences growing up around drugs, working young, and dealing with adversity.
• Ali discusses starting to sell drugs at 14, moving significant weight, and his eventual incarceration ([14:28]−[15:21]).
• Thomas reflects on growing up with absent or addicted parents and having to hustle for food and money ([36:16]−[39:10]).
• Honest debate on whether poverty justifies entering the drug trade, risk versus reward, and generational cycles.
  • Quote: "I wanted other shit than what she was providing. It was no every time I buy a pair of Converse now, I just want to apologize to my mama.” – Ali ([44:47]–[45:35])

3. The Art & Hustle of Stand-Up Comedy

• Ali clarifies he’s not an “actor,” despite TV and sitcom appearances ([07:12]–[08:17]).
• Describes his decision to go entirely independent in producing, filming, and distributing his specials—often putting them out free on YouTube ([16:06]–[19:00]).
  • Quote: “Why not just do it myself, shoot it myself, and put it out myself?” – Ali ([19:00])
• Explains how comedians in Houston and Texas benefit from more stage time compared to LA/NY comics limited to 5–15 min sets ([22:34]–[26:19]).
  • Quote: “You have a lot of time... if I come up to a room, I'm gonna do at least 45 to an hour. That's just me coming to work out.” – Ali ([25:24])

4. DIY Mindset & Business Savvy

• Breaks down why selling your own tickets and merch can "cheapen" the brand, versus setting up efficient systems and leveraging promoters ([27:07]–[29:53]).
• The importance of hiring the right team and delegating tasks as you grow; learning how not to burn out ([56:25]–[57:04]).
  • Quote: “If you do it all yourself, you'll burn out.” – Ali ([56:27])

5. Lessons from Prison and Life After

• Delves into how prison informs his worldview, his "Domino Effect" YouTube specials, and later doing a stand-up special in prison for Comedy Central ([66:23]).
  • Memorable Story: Comedy Central wanted him to put his fingerprints into a prison system for a shot, and his attorney shot it down immediately:
    “There would be no putting fingerprints on old machine... What we would hate is the star not to be able to leave here.” – Ali ([70:57])

6. Physicality, Self-Defense & Boxing

• Ali discusses his deep boxing background, starting at age six, still training with his son ([79:14]).
• Admiration for the “confidence” of street addicts and those living “without responsibilities” ([04:39]).
• War stories about fights, warning signs people miss before getting knocked out, and the risk of violence after prison ([80:26]–[86:42]).
  • Quote: “If somebody tells you, ‘Hey man, going on now, I don’t want to do this,’ you better listen. That’s too much confidence.” – Ali ([81:47]–[82:46])

7. Language, Identity, and Family Gaps

• Lively back-and-forth about the shame (and jokes) of not speaking Spanish within a Mexican family, and Ali revealing he speaks Arabic instead ([34:18]–[35:00]).
  • Quote: “If I was Mexican, I would probably say speak.” – Ali ([34:57])

8. Community, Uplifting Others & Ownership

• Discusses his transition into distributing other comedians' specials on his YouTube channel, offering a platform for up-and-comers ([99:44]).
  • Quote: “No, I’m just distribution... like what you do. Distribute dope. Dope comedians.” – Ali ([99:49]–[99:57])
• Voices gratitude for the freedom of not working for someone else and being able to hire family/friends ([51:25]).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Rather be new than old." – DL Hughley, as recounted by Ali when talking about people calling him a “new” comic ([49:24])
• “Now I voluntarily go in and buy a pair of Chucks. I should just call my mom right now, like, I’m sorry, I was judging your pockets on the wrong shit.” – Ali ([45:08])
• "If you don't smell piss, you're not there." – Thomas ([02:48])
• “Why not just do it myself, shoot it myself, and put it out myself?” – Ali ([19:00])
• “If you do it all yourself, you'll burn out.” – Ali ([56:27])
• “If somebody tells you, ‘Hey man, going on now, I don’t want to do this,’ you better listen. That’s too much confidence.” – Ali ([81:47])
• “No, I’m just distribution... like what you do. Distribute dope. Dope comedians.” – Ali ([99:49])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Rodeo bull story & Houston/Austin vs. California cities: [01:10]–[03:39]
• Homelessness and the realities of San Francisco, L.A., and Philadelphia: [02:41]–[06:26]
• Stand-up versus acting, sitcom experience: [07:12]–[08:17]
• Drug-dealing, upbringing, hustling for survival: [14:28]–[45:35]
• Independence in comedy, DIY business: [16:06], [19:00], [25:24], [56:25]
• Nuts and bolts of the comedy business (tickets, merch, promotion): [27:07]–[29:53]
• Language, not learning Spanish, family identity: [34:18]–[35:00]
• Prison specials, “Comedy Central wanted my fingerprints!” [66:23]–[70:57]
• Ali’s boxing background & street fighting wisdom: [79:14]–[81:47]
• Distribution of comedy specials for other comics: [99:44]
• Expression of gratitude for an independent lifestyle: [51:25]
• Arena tour, upcoming YouTube specials, NAACP award nomination: [94:02]–[95:30]

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Ali Siddiq’s Specials and Business Moves

• Four new specials to be released in 2026 on his YouTube channel ([94:02])
• NAACP Image Award nomination for “My Two Sons” ([94:16])
• First arena show booked in Baltimore ([94:47])
• New model: distributing other comedians’ specials on his YouTube channel ([99:44])

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Tone and Authenticity

This episode is a mix of gritty storytelling, streetwise philosophy, hilarious tangents, and honest business talk—all delivered in the straightforward, often irreverent, and real tones characteristic of both Ali Siddiq and the “Dope as Usual” hosts. Ali’s warmth and wit shine as he offers lessons learned the hard way and wisdom for up-and-comers, staying true to his roots and his independent spirit.

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For more:

• Watch Ali Siddiq’s new “Mondays” special and more on his YouTube channel
• Tour dates and tickets: AliSiddiq.com
• Follow “Dope As Usual” for more deep dives with top comedians and creators

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Ali Siddiq]

No, no, not the little one. But you never even saw his hand. I'm like, yeah, I ain't got no knuckles right there.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, those are pushed back.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is hitting people too fast. Like, because you hit somebody. You hit somebody and then they start going down. And then you hit them in the head while they was going down. I was going down talking with them. This is up, right? You can't breathe good, right? It's just.

[Marty O'Neill]

Perfect.

[Thomas Dopas]

Perfect, Perfect, Perfect.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. This a look. He was doing powder when I was a kid. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

I had a. A really good friendship, me and coke for a long time.

[Ali Siddiq]

A really good one.

[Thomas Dopas]

Good friendship, good.

[Ali Siddiq]

So in Houston, how long were you in Houston?

[Thomas Dopas]

I was only there for a rodeo. Two days. I went there last weekend.

[Ali Siddiq]

Rodeo.

[Thomas Dopas]

My homie OT Threw a rodeo with Paul Wall. Like this rodeo concert kind of thing.

[Ali Siddiq]

Okay.

[Thomas Dopas]

So I just went out there to.

[Marty O'Neill]

What did you say about. He didn't realize he was about to fight after.

[Thomas Dopas]

We're taking. We're getting high this night before. He's like, I'm gonna fight the. The Houston Texas mascot tomorrow. Everybody thinks I'm fighting a bull again. And go, it's a good little trick, man. He got out there and they were in a. A real bull came out. And after, like you told me, he's like, they didn't tell me it was a real bull. They said it was a mascot. And they. Last time they sent out a baby cow. This one was a full size bull. Almost killed his ass. He's heavy. It flipped him with one horn. His whole body flipped in the air and then caught him in the way and then flipped his ass again. I would have been out, dude, I'm good. Texas is cool.

[Ali Siddiq]

What he had, he had on stuff he had to have on.

[Thomas Dopas]

He just had a chest plate. Like the little strap.

[Ali Siddiq]

He's losing his goddamn, dude.

[Thomas Dopas]

And then he stayed for like 10 more minutes and just ran and got run over. Another time. I like football. I like around. Don't want anything to do with that. I can't talk to the bull. But come on, man, please.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because I was wondering, like, rodeo hadn't started yet.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm like, no, no. It's this weekend, I think.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, Valentine's weekend. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

I've been going to Houston a lot just to go chill with those fools. Houston's cool. I went to Austin recently. It's like San Francisco. It felt like California there. Like Very, like, clean and healthy.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is hippie.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. Like, it feel like San Francisco.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, very hippie. S. San Francisco is very homeless.

[Thomas Dopas]

Now San Francisco, there, there is nobody living there. They just live outside and they just keep walking.

[Ali Siddiq]

Very homeless.

[Thomas Dopas]

I was just there last weekend too.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, man, that's a very homeless place. It's crazy.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's. If you don't smell piss, you're not there. You know what I mean? Like, it smells like pissing everywhere now.

[Ali Siddiq]

So my. My one my boys last night was telling me how bad downtown. I'm saying, the Soho House. He's like, yo, this is the worst homeless population in. In the world in downtown la. I'm like, no, Tenderloin's worse.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's way worse in San Francisco. I tried to tell him just the other day I. My dumb ass went to someone's show and I was late, so I was just parked. I didn't realize I was circling skid row looking for parking. You know, my car. Like a dumbass. I had to walk through skid Row at 11 o' clock at night that I. I can't believe I get robbed. I have my watch, everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

They don't realize that you there.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, they were looking at me and I've been ghetto. They were staring, were looking.

[Ali Siddiq]

Not really. They didn't see you. Two of these.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm like, oh, man, you guys are on drugs. You're going to rob me, huh? Why are you out here with these crackheads? You selling crack? Like, I saw a fool with the Amir jeans just standing there like that f. Selling crack.

[Ali Siddiq]

Okay, dude, he found them jeans.

[Thomas Dopas]

He looked.

[Ali Siddiq]

Frisco was. I was just out. It's worse. It's. Frisco was freaking terrible, man.

[Thomas Dopas]

I just feel like I'm gonna get stabbed.

[Ali Siddiq]

The whole timeless population is the crazy too.

[Thomas Dopas]

Same like here. There's a lot of crazy people. Everyone over there is talking to themselves.

[Ali Siddiq]

Looking around, picking like they, they, you, they. They didn't say they saw like eight of you. Like, it was. It's such a crazy thing. It was a lady just standing the street, just butt ass naked. I was like, yep, yeah, just makes sense. She didn't see me walk past her. She was like, she. They'd be zoned, but also, ow. How cool.

[Thomas Dopas]

Got no responsibilities, man. You're just getting high. You don't even give a. That's like the level of confidence I want. Just like, yeah, I'm naked. Fools on crack. That's cool. I don't want to be a crackhead, but the level of like I got to do today, it's crazy.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'd rather just. No, I'm gonna go with the. Oh, I don't have on clothes. I want the reality.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, for sure. But, like, how cool. Like, yo, I don't even care about any of that. That's the only good thing about drugs, man. I guess you stop giving a. I know some fools that I are upstanding people. When they were tweaking, they were in garbage cans. And, like, I don't remember. I just need money. Like, my brain tells me that's gonna give me money. I don't even remember. You're walking by talking like, oh, it's like, scary, dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, it is.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's scary. I have a lot of family members.

[Ali Siddiq]

On drugs, and I'll take sober any day. Yeah, I'll take so much.

[Thomas Dopas]

I like smoking weed. I really love smoking weed. But, yeah, I would much rather not go with sober.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's so weird. Oh, man, Frisco is so terrible. Like, it makes you sad to be.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I used to. I'm from up north, and it used to be like, you do have a hundred bucks. You better. If you're going to San Francisco, you better have money. We're gonna go to a restaurant. We'll go to the pier. We're gonna walk around where the hippies are gonna smoke weed. You better have money. And now it's like, dude, I don't want to go to San Francisco at all. The.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm gonna have a tetanus shot. It's sad eating shots. We're going to Frisco.

[Thomas Dopas]

They had. The last time I went was for melissa's hospital thing. 40 homeless fools just like king. Like, that place in Philadelphia looks scarier though. All these fools flopped. But standing all that fentanyl, they. Oh, those foles are picking and they're asleep. It's just fentanyl is a different. Over here's a lot of meth and crack and. No, there's a lot of fentanyl in San Francisco now, too.

[Ali Siddiq]

Then y' all have Figaroa, which is.

[Thomas Dopas]

That they cracked down recently. They said there's going to have cameras on the corners and undercover standing there. And I didn't know. They're like, if you're going to come get underage prostitutes. I'm like, they're underage. The.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like the one with the Wonder Woman suit on when she's on the age.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, she doesn't even know who Wonder woman is. 17, it's weird. How we doing?

[Marty O'Neill]

We're all good.

[Thomas Dopas]

Ready?

[Marty O'Neill]

All good. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the dope as usual podcast. My name is Thomas Dopas. Yolo. Whatever. You want to call me? This is my co host, Marty o'. Neill. What's up? I'm hyped. You guys love stories, and you guys know I love stories. And today is one of the best storytellers on earth. Actor, writer, comedian. Please introduce Ali Siddiq.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, how y' all doing?

[Thomas Dopas]

What up?

[Ali Siddiq]

No actor.

[Thomas Dopas]

No acting. Oh, okay. Never mind.

[Ali Siddiq]

I just.

[Thomas Dopas]

I just tell Wikipedia. Be like, change that.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's on Wikipedia.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I was like, actor. I haven't seen him in a movie, but I'll throw it in there so I don't forget it. No, and that's why I threw it in there. Dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. Like, no actor. I was on a couple of sitcoms. What is Flatbush? Misdemeanor on Showtime.

[Thomas Dopas]

But Misdemeanor.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, Two seasons of that, and it was a great, great sitcom.

[Thomas Dopas]

I mean, probably a New York show, I'm assuming.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. Kevin ISO, Sam J. It was a couple of people. Who's in there? Not nice cast.

[Thomas Dopas]

Is that, like, your only time?

[Ali Siddiq]

It was. It was on. It was on Showtime.

[Thomas Dopas]

Is that your only acting credential right there?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, and I didn't want that. I'm not an actor. I'm a comedian. Two different worlds. 100, man, you know, and sometimes people judge. They give comedic actors passes on comedy. Like, he's one of the greatest comics of all time. No, not really.

[Thomas Dopas]

He's on a sitcom.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, sitcom and movie.

[Thomas Dopas]

One of the most famous actors slash comedians. They should say, like, your fame is not one of the best. I noticed. I go to comedy shows constantly. So I watch, I see all this. So, yeah, it was like, who's the best actor? I'm like, that guy's a sitcom actor. I didn't know he was a comedian. And that's the. The, like, the juxtaposition of it, I think, like, what you're saying.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, I don't think most people have ever even seen Adam Sandler do stand up.

[Thomas Dopas]

I've. I've been to his shows. I used to. I have a lot of his albums. When I first started, when. When he first started when I was like five, my. My mom listened to him. But most people don't. Like, Eddie Murphy's one of the best standups ever. Hasn't done a stand up in 40 years.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, but I was there when he did his.

[Thomas Dopas]

But raw or delirious?

[Ali Siddiq]

Both.

[Thomas Dopas]

Both.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm 52 years old. Both. But.

[Thomas Dopas]

I mean, I don't. But both. Damn.

[Ali Siddiq]

I was there for both.

[Thomas Dopas]

Well, you must have been what, 14, 15, 16. How you get the ticket.

[Ali Siddiq]

I was there for.

[Thomas Dopas]

This is an event you're going to. Eddie Murphy filming.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was on the. It was in the theater, like, oh.

[Thomas Dopas]

That you meant you went and watched it live. I was like, damn, how dude, say you. I. I grew up poor. I'm like, how you get two tickets? That's what I was wondering.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, just. It was out when I was a teenager.

[Thomas Dopas]

No.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know, so when it came out in the theaters, you like, okay, we going to see it.

[Thomas Dopas]

Eddie Murphy, Raw, man. Eddie Murphy. Delirious is two of my favorite st. I used to do so much. Well, speaking of drugs you're talking about, you do that powder. Like, when I was a kid, I used to do a lot. I used to do a lot of drugs.

[Ali Siddiq]

And how old are you now?

[Thomas Dopas]

36. So there was a.

[Ali Siddiq]

Four years older than my oldest son.

[Thomas Dopas]

Well, there it is. You started early, man. You started, what, 18 then?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, 20.

[Thomas Dopas]

20.

[Ali Siddiq]

My oldest son is 32, my oldest daughter 27.

[Thomas Dopas]

So you're wrong. I'm grown is what I'm telling you.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, like, yeah, I'm 52 years old.

[Thomas Dopas]

I used to watch those constantly because I only had DVDs. There's no streaming. I would just do lines because my grandparents worked. They do trucking. So I'm. I'm home all day by myself. I get a sack and go tweak out in the country for half a day and then come back to the city, go to school. That was pretty much like 14 years old for me.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

So that's when I first saw.

[Ali Siddiq]

My little brother is the same age as you. My baby brother, he's 36.

[Thomas Dopas]

Damn. Big ass cat. Well, me, that's my brother. He's 21. Yeah. So, yeah, we have big ass gaps. Are you part Mexican?

[Ali Siddiq]

Haitian.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm kidding, fool. I'm saying Mexicans have babies. Latest. My dad just had another. My dad's 55 and just. My little brother's 12, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, your dad's 55.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like, my dad's 55. I'm saying he started late. He had me at 18 and then had another one at 44's he doing?

[Ali Siddiq]

Dude, he never got a break because he's only 55. That's a huge break. 14, 20.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm saying he's never gonna get it. Break. 20. I got out of the house, he had two more. Well, my other sisters are 20, 18, 12. Like, this fool has never stopped buying diapers, man. It's crazy.

[Marty O'Neill]

I'm not trying to be that dude.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, this fool's as old as about to get out of the house.

[Ali Siddiq]

My youngest is five. Oh.

[Marty O'Neill]

Okay. I'm doing the math on that. So you went back and you're like, 45 at 21.

[Thomas Dopas]

You're got age difference?

[Ali Siddiq]

47. Yeah. I'm 52. She's five. All right.

[Marty O'Neill]

So I'm about to turn 40. My wife's trying to, like, throw a fourth one into the mix. I'm trying to tell her it's a horrible idea.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. My wife older than you.

[Thomas Dopas]

Good.

[Ali Siddiq]

Y' all young as hell.

[Thomas Dopas]

It happens. I look at him, like, 21. Wow. I don't even remember being. And then I thought, like, I was.

[Ali Siddiq]

On drugs this whole time.

[Marty O'Neill]

No, my. My kid's about to be as old as I was when I got with their mind, so it's like I'm in that weird parallax of time type.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't got none. So I'm be Mar Lopez. I'm like, I'm have kids at 45. I'll start. I'll start late, man. Hey, man. I grew up watching my mom have kids as a kid. I'm like, I don't want to do what you're doing. This sucks, dude. I see you struggle. Like, I know what food stamps are. I don't want to do this anymore.

[Marty O'Neill]

Yeah, he counts. You count for raising him? Basically, yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Hell, yeah, dude. I was 15. That sucked. But makes you responsible, man. Like, I want to get up my friends. I got to watch this while. I can't. But I did take mushrooms a few times while watching him. Just made sure he stayed where I could see him, but that was all. That's the old.

[Marty O'Neill]

That's the worst. You try to do some little shrooms, and then you're like, oh, fuck, kids are here.

[Thomas Dopas]

I know you said you sober. I like sober. Do you. Do you ever do mushrooms? You ever done psychedelics or nothing?

[Ali Siddiq]

Mushrooms, years ago. Yeah. Yeah, they put. They put act on my thing. We didn't put this is not happening on there. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Great show.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's a mushroom. The story says mushroom story.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, that's the one you're on.

[Ali Siddiq]

It clearly says mushroom story. You looking at it and you produce it. You're looking at it.

[Marty O'Neill]

I'm not looking at it right now.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, yeah. If you look at it. I've been on it three times, and one clearly says mushroom story.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, no, I haven't seen that show. Canceled, huh? They just stopped doing that?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, it's coming back.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, so it is. It did go off for. I searched. I've seen yeah, all the recent ones at least. But it's just been like four or five years now. It feels like that was my for a while. I love that. It's like I do something on my channel. I have a real big weed channel. That's what I do. But I do something called story time. I just been telling stories like eight years straight. And that this is not happening is the exact thing of what I imagined I was doing.

[Ali Siddiq]

But I'm not.

[Thomas Dopas]

You know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's what I think I'm doing. I watch this guy's like, ah, you guys are good. So. But what you're doing is your news. Especially drop Mondays within the first two minutes. I have four stories I'm gonna tell you, all started on a Monday. I think it's really getting you in, in line for like this is what's coming and what's happening. I first heard you. My mom's a huge fan, man. Like she, she loves comedy and she talks about you a lot. And that's when I first saw you. And for someone that loves stories, I love movies. Everyone loves stories. Humans love stories. So since you were a kid, I'm assuming you've been telling stories like this the same way you've been telling stories as an adult. Right. It's not like you just acquired the, is it?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I kind of got better.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I got better, but like, like the internal, like. Let me tell you what happened. Let me show you what I saw. That's been there pretty much your whole life, I'm assuming.

[Ali Siddiq]

Nah, I was a pretty. I was a different type of guy when I was a kid. You know, I started selling drugs at 14, so I wasn't really kicking it with people type. I was more in the streets.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I get it. I mean, I was. I always see it as a different because like I was selling, like we're all still telling stories like, you know, I mean, like in the garage with homies as you're like sacking up, telling about what happened at the park. I don't know, I always felt like as a kid, like you, you've been telling stories since you're a kid. That's why I assumed watching your stand up, you know what I mean?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. I was running with older guys than me, so I was more of a looking over my shoulder, wasn't really kicking it. You got sold a lot of cocaine? Yeah, I wasn't. And I hate, I hate to say it like that, but I wasn't like a small time guy.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So when I Got. When I got busted, I got busted with like five keys.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I'm not trying to deal with.

[Marty O'Neill]

How did that happen that you got that they found it.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Marty O'Neill]

How did it happen that you got caught?

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, so you haven't seen any domino effects?

[Thomas Dopas]

No. There's four parts, right? Yeah, no, I haven't watched that. Just in my time.

[Ali Siddiq]

I can always tell when people really not familiar with that story with period with me, period. Domino effect was way before that was in 2022. So we. That those four series started first and that's the walk from 10 to 25 before I even did Mondays. Mondays just came out. Yeah, a month ago.

[Thomas Dopas]

And then you, you're. I mean, I know it's story and there's specials. Are you still creating three specials this year?

[Ali Siddiq]

Three out four.

[Thomas Dopas]

Four hour specials. Like they are.

[Ali Siddiq]

They are mostly over an hour. Like mostly all of my specials.

[Thomas Dopas]

And you're independently doing all this, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

So you're. So you're getting the check kind of like. Well, no, you're selling this. Here's what I have. Here's my special to a network or to YouTube or something, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I'm putting it on YouTube.

[Thomas Dopas]

So you just put it straight on YouTube. So yeah, you're paying for the production, you're doing the ticket sales. You're doing everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

Ticket sales.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't sell no tickets to this live audience.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I'm selling no ticket. We give it for free. We put it on YouTube for free.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I know you get it for free. I'm saying in person, we like you to set up that show. Like you have to set that show up. Ticket sales, drinks, venues, people come and it looks great.

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't do none of that.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I'm saying, like you're responsible in the end for that.

[Ali Siddiq]

The promotion company does that. I've been on what, this is third. This is the third 100 city tour I've been touring since. You know, I've been doing this 28 years. I didn't just start.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So I don't.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, no, you're not sitting there doing your merch table. But I'm saying, like you're responsible at the end of the day.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like I am.

[Thomas Dopas]

I do all of this.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm the business. But I don't. That's not my. Hire people to do that.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, for sure. But you're responsible for hiring them. I'm saying like. Like we do everything he edits, I do everything we go do, we set up our merch, we do all our stuff.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'M saying, like Dave edits, Ryan promotes. My manager manages all of that. Yeah, yeah, I don't, I'm not with an agency at all.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's what I mean, like you're responsible for doing. It's not like you're signing your independence.

[Ali Siddiq]

Everybody though, everybody was. That's not nothing new. I guess in my mind I do things a little different. But you've been as a comic, you're responsible for everything anyway.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

What, what other. Who, who else?

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm saying, like, yo, I'm putting this out on Netflix. They're taking care of the promotion, they're doing all this. I'm getting my check, put it on Netflix.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's what's special. But as a day to day in your comedy career, you're responsible for everything anyway. Like it's like if you not selling tickets, that's your responsibility. You know, booking is if you don't have an agent. Like I didn't start with an agent. I, it took me what, 17 years before I had an agency. Then I was on the agency for a little bit. Then I left and, and started doing my. Going back to what I was doing at first when I was responsible for booking myself. So now my manager is responsible for it. But it's an easier role now because I've been doing it for 28 years. Yeah, it's kind of turnkey at this point. So I've been on TV since 2000. Yeah, since 2000. So, you know, four years of con View, it's not a network I haven't been on. So I just don't do network business anymore since I did a special on two specials on Comedy Central and when I went to promote it, they flagged me for copyright. So then I said, well, why not just get it, do it myself, shoot it myself and put it out myself.

[Thomas Dopas]

It flags your own comedy.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, because they own it. They own the imaging of it. They don't own the material, they just own the image. What they background is like, you know, like this, you know, so this is your, this is your background. So what I say is my words. But you own this particular podcast. Yeah. So if you wanted to do, if I wanted to do something else, I would just go and record everything I said on this podcast with a different background. I'm gonna go. Some say all the things. So you, you 40. I'm just do it all, you know, the same way. So in comedy, I think that's the thing about comics. We really all independent until you decide that you don't want to Be and go with an agency, like, it's too hard for what you got going on. And since some people get managers before they have anything to manage. Yeah, that's a. That's a weird thing.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, but that's mostly, I think, because I don't live here in la. I live in Houston. Well, we. We independent from the jump, so I don't even see anything else, you know?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. I'm saying because we've had so many comics on here, nobody's ever said, like, yo, this is independent. We're doing. That's why I wanted to ask, like, this is a whole different. Like, this is your. This is everything you own. Like, this is yours.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. So you being Houston, we who's not independent, and you just. You just mentioned you went to kick it with two people. That's independent. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

I mean, you could stay in Houston and. And have a very successful career. I mean, Texas alone, I see people tour Texas 50 state, 50 cities, and they don't have to go anywhere else. Like, Texas has its own ecosystem of, like, entertainment. Each city is like a huge delay.

[Ali Siddiq]

We don't know the most powerful city in the U.S. in the United States.

[Thomas Dopas]

Houston, in terms of, like, entertainment.

[Ali Siddiq]

Texas is the most powerful city in the United States. That's about. That's about. You can look that up. We had the most. We had the most millionaires. We have the most. We totally independently graded from everybody else. We the most powerful city in the United States, and we are. Houston is the most diverse city in the United States. Look it up.

[Thomas Dopas]

I believe you're from there, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, it ain't about me. If I wasn't from here, I would know the facts of it. Yeah, I don't know.

[Thomas Dopas]

I did not know the facts of random cities.

[Ali Siddiq]

I have no idea this thing. I tour for a long time, so I gotta.

[Thomas Dopas]

You gotta know what the.

[Ali Siddiq]

I gotta go to these places and know, like, hey, y' all eat walla out here. That's different from me saying, hey, anybody eating salmon? They like. They eat this fish called walleye. And it's a different. You know, when you go place, it's like going to different countries.

[Thomas Dopas]

You. There's. There's different dialect and everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

Want to know what's going on? Like, P is so different from K. You know, Kingston is different.

[Thomas Dopas]

We don't go nowhere, man. So you're telling me cities I ain't even heard of. I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, for sure got you.

[Ali Siddiq]

Kingston is different from oas. Where. Where you from here?

[Thomas Dopas]

Central Valley like by Fresno.

[Ali Siddiq]

By Fresno, yeah. That's different than Compton.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's a different ecosystem. You're like, yo, Bakersfield is not la. No, it is in California, but it's not.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's in the same state for sure.

[Ali Siddiq]

Frisco is definitely not Oakland.

[Thomas Dopas]

You know what? Right now they might be, I don't know. Because they're both just going downhill quick, man. I don't want to park in any of those cities at. Yeah, that's pretty much where it's at. So safe.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you just gotta figure, you know, when you go somewhere, you learn about the city, especially you've been there multiple times, you learn about the city, what's going on in the city, and see the difference between. Even with comics, comedy is so different. It depends on where you from, you know? Like, I. I always say that LA comics and New York comics have a harder time making a special because of lack of stage time.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's just oversaturated.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, it's not even oversaturated. It's like, they don't give you enough stage time. Like, what's the. When I. When I would. When I came out here to do the improv years ago, guy was like, how long are you gonna do? I'm like, I'm gonna do an hour. He's like, no, nobody does an hour. I'm like, like, what are you talking about, man? Look like, dude, like, 20, 30 minutes. And then who's doing. I didn't fly out here to do no 20, 30 minutes on a. On the show that I'm headlining is at 8:00 o' clock in the next show. The next show is at 10:30. Like, that only makes sense.

[Thomas Dopas]

Makes sense, though.

[Ali Siddiq]

So it.

[Thomas Dopas]

Give me seven minutes.

[Ali Siddiq]

I feel he's like. It's like when people hear when I would ask them how much stage time do they hitting multiple spots? Because they doing four to five minutes here, seven minutes here at the max. Five, 15 minutes at the max. Max. And that's like the max. How do you develop a. You especially with going around doing the same 15 minutes?

[Thomas Dopas]

You don't. And that's the problem. And that's where I'm stuck. I feel you, dude. He's going through this problem recently. I'm. I got 15. They go, you have seven go. Are you kidding me? How do you develop a story in seven minutes? I'll just be doing this at six minutes. Did you give me three minutes at a place one time? I think I should just leave. Like, this is gonna embarrass the out of me. I told you I was going up. Like, how do I rewrite everything in three? It's impossible. You can't tell you my day in three minutes. Like, it doesn't work. So I, I get what you're saying. I've never seen anybody go over 20 ever here unless they were doing their. Their hour. They're headlining at a theater. I haven't seen anybody go over. You're not wrong.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's crazy to me. So when I come here and I'm in a theater, I'm definitely doing an hour 30. Like, what else would I be coming here to do? Like, it makes no. It makes no sense to me. And then you go to New York, they doing five minutes and. But these, it's these. And then you, you go to Atlanta. So now you in these rooms. And because they're quote unquote, tough rooms or whatever, you're just doing your. Your best. Your best joints because you don't want to. You don't want to do bad. Yeah. So you just boom, boom, boom. Now you go into another spot, you're doing the same boom. So you'll do that for five years doing the same stuff because you've not been able. You're not in a space where you can develop anything.

[Thomas Dopas]

Everything you said is completely right.

[Ali Siddiq]

So comics have a hard time. So when you in Houston and you have the improv and you have the seeker group, you have Rugged, which is now the riot, you. You have multiple other rooms, and then you have places where people just do comedy. You know what I'm saying? So you have a lot of time. You know, the. This is a normal thing. Hey, man, go up, do 1015. That's normal. That's the 1015 is the like. And you knew. Yeah, I'mma go up. If I go. If I come up to a room, I'mma go up and I'mma doing at least 45 to an hour. That's just me coming to work out. Yeah. So, yeah, I can develop way more stuff than the average comment because I. I have the time to.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. You know, and doing it in your room by yourself in marriage is not the same thing. Like, there's no. You have to practice life.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. It's just a. It's a different. It's a different life with. In different spaces, you know? So I, When I see it and I. I think about how it is thought about other spaces in other places, I'm like, that's the norm. That's like what normally happens. I only know independent comics. I live in Houston.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

I just know people who. What we don't do anymore. Well, some people still do. We used to print our. I remember when I first started, maybe like five years in, we would print our tickets and sell them ourselves. Why not? You know what I'm saying?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because. Why not? Because that cheapens you.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, really? I thought you just keep all the money that way.

[Ali Siddiq]

So this is the. The breakdown. When I used to. When people used to tell me, well, I. I sold 40 tickets. You sold them yourself? Yeah. Okay, cool. Then you got. You got a percentage of that 40 tickets. So. So they gave you maybe $600. I said, you think you made $600? Yeah, I made $600. No, you didn't. I say, well, if you think that you made $600. Why does the improv have a ticket booth? Why don't they just get somebody to ride around selling tickets? True, because you may probably, if you did not calculate your gas.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, and time.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, you're. You're selling tickets all over the place, but you're not calculating your gas. So you probably made $300.

[Thomas Dopas]

This is drug brain and work right here. Because that's what this is right now. Drug math.

[Ali Siddiq]

You not accounting for the other parts that you. You spent with you by selling these tickets. Like, so the improv has a ticket booth central location where everybody comes and buys their tickets. And I go, I can go this back when I was selling drugs, I didn't ride all over the place selling.

[Thomas Dopas]

No.

[Ali Siddiq]

Selling drugs. Like, yo, I'm right here. You come to me. Yeah, it's like. So my brain works a little different, you know, than in this. In this hustle. Like, it's like selling T shirts. If I had to go to each person the zeal T shirt. When instead of just bailing them out, getting an account, mailing them to the people, or then being more advanced and says, you know something, we're gonna get the merchandise people that make the T shirts. We're going to get them some shipment out. You know what I'm saying? So we don't have to do none of that. Because I'm still accounting for me driving to the post office.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, that's why I have this warehouse.

[Ali Siddiq]

I account for all of these things and so the profit is different. But some people would think that they riding around selling tickets and it cheapens you as a. It cheapens you as an artist. If I come buy the ticket from you and you're the performer. I just saw you.

[Thomas Dopas]

I just put it that way. It's so Much worse.

[Ali Siddiq]

I just saw you. I just saw you.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like, maybe in your first couple shows I could see like, yo, I'm getting the name out, the word out. Like, it's like slinging your own CDs. I feel exactly. But it's like, yo, I bought this CD from Jay Z. He's on the billboard. I bought it from him. I get it. Cheapens you. I get it.

[Ali Siddiq]

I get cheapens you.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, it does.

[Ali Siddiq]

You have no accessible. You right there. People looking right in your face.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, you're right.

[Ali Siddiq]

Louis CK Never sold those tickets. You gotta go, he's not. It. It just cheapens the. The brand.

[Thomas Dopas]

It does. But then again, like, I'm doing all our events. I'm like, yeah, I'll sell you the shirt from me. Like, I just think people like that. But we have a different fan base too. They're hyped to like, say something, take pictures. I think what you're saying is right, but what we're doing is different.

[Ali Siddiq]

We do a meeting, we do a meet and greet. So at the meet and greet, we're not taking a pitch. We not. Because you can't. Like, I'm in a venue, it's 4, 200 people. If I say I'm taking pictures for free, 16 hours.

[Thomas Dopas]

Ish.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm there for a minute.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, I. I know what you're saying.

[Ali Siddiq]

So we sell the meet and greet and most of the people buy. I mean, it's awful to sign a hundred books on right there. It's like. And. And you just got off stage. Everybody want you to sign something. I know. And you. Like, it's tiring. What?

[Thomas Dopas]

It's the conversations that are like, you don't want to give him any shitty imagery.

[Ali Siddiq]

And then the conversations be cuz they get cuz people so nervous, they don't know what to say to you. Oh, you. You shorter than I thought you were.

[Thomas Dopas]

Who.

[Ali Siddiq]

What the are you talking about right now? Like, like who. When did I say I was tall?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, right.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's what I'd be wanting to know. When it. What interview? What thing was I doing? Was I playing basketball when you saw me or something for the Knicks? Like, when. When did I say I was tall?

[Thomas Dopas]

You're right.

[Ali Siddiq]

And. And my mind is too detailed to listen to this. And I'll be like, okay, well, I didn't know you was. I didn't know you was blind either. I know you. Like, they. I'm a short person. And you're. And you're. Oh, I watch you on my phone, on my computer. You look taller. God damn it. So I don't look taller?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, yeah, he goes through it too, man. We all. We all don't. We're not. You're not alone, dude. I have some of the craziest questions you've ever heard in your life.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, I finally know that your head was receding, but did I say anything? I just took. I just standing here to take this picture, and you trying to insult me with some. Did not even insult.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, they're not even insulting.

[Ali Siddiq]

I've been 57 since the eighth grade. You know, I used to be a sinner at first.

[Thomas Dopas]

Then, yeah, I would say, wait, you were a big ass kid, dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

Then everybody went to sleep, and then, you know, I'm in the 80s, people was way taller than me. You think Hakeem was. If you. You think Kareem. What? How tall do you think Shaq was in the eighth grade?

[Thomas Dopas]

6:1.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm not no big kid. I'm Avery. Everybody was telling me the next year.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, me too.

[Ali Siddiq]

Eighth grade. By. By eighth grade, everybody was telling me I was a. I was a point guard. So I wasn't no big kid. I'm just.

[Thomas Dopas]

I've.

[Ali Siddiq]

Look how tall he is.

[Thomas Dopas]

He's bigger than me in eighth, ninth grade, man. I was 4:10 when I went to high school and then somehow gained 10 inches. Thank God. What's up, guys? Taking a moment to talk about the sponsor of this episode and shout out to Puffco. So right now, if you want free shipping, all you have to do is add the dab mat when you get the Peak Pro link. In my room, like when I'm chilling, I'm not in my living room. My Setup is it's 100% puffco. Anytime I'm anywhere in the house because it's just easier anywhere I'm on the go. It's just easier. It's Puffco 100. You can use your Puffco on any glass that you have. I wasn't.

[Ali Siddiq]

How tall are you now?

[Thomas Dopas]

Five, nine, but damn, I was 4 10. I don't speak Spanish as a fat kid. I sell drug. I was an outcast, man. Everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

You don't speak Spanish?

[Thomas Dopas]

No. In a Mexican town, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Goddamn shame. Whole.

[Thomas Dopas]

Whole family speaks Spanish, Just not me. They didn't teach me an outcast.

[Ali Siddiq]

God. You speak Spanish?

[Thomas Dopas]

Hell, no. He's a different side of family.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's crazy.

[Thomas Dopas]

You speak Spanish?

[Ali Siddiq]

My kids speak Spanish, but do you? No.

[Thomas Dopas]

Then what the. You looking at me like you don't speak. That's a shame.

[Ali Siddiq]

But my name My name is Ali Siddiq. I speak Arabic.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, that's cool.

[Ali Siddiq]

So I speak English.

[Thomas Dopas]

Anything else?

[Ali Siddiq]

That's the whole. That's a whole spin on that end.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. Like, I don't speak that at all. My name is Thomas. You don't expect me to start speaking Spanish.

[Ali Siddiq]

If I was. If I was Mexican, I would probably say speak.

[Thomas Dopas]

But also when you learned, would you say Arabic?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Who taught you?

[Ali Siddiq]

My family. Mine.

[Thomas Dopas]

Didn't they all speak fluent Spanish and go, hey, you don't understand you. Whose fault is it really? The four year old that's like, y' all don't understand you. Let's teach your ass.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think you didn't want to know.

[Thomas Dopas]

My whole family speak Spanish. I spoke a little when I was a kid.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think you didn't want to know.

[Thomas Dopas]

I promise you, dude, it would get me so much farther if I could speak Spanish.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I was promise you. You were selling drugs. Drugs and doing.

[Thomas Dopas]

I would have sold more drugs to Spanish speaking people.

[Marty O'Neill]

That's a great point. Yeah. You were slipping.

[Ali Siddiq]

You were selling drugs and doing drugs. You were not interested in learning Spanish at five years. That same. That same energy you put in the selling drugs, you could have put that energy into getting that Spanish.

[Thomas Dopas]

I will say this, sell you a sack is a lot easier than going, let me learn these words.

[Ali Siddiq]

But you could have said that in Spanish.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's true. That's true. That's what I'm saying. It's not like I didn't want to.

[Ali Siddiq]

You didn't want to.

[Thomas Dopas]

I promise you.

[Ali Siddiq]

You was rebellious.

[Thomas Dopas]

I promise you that's.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was two drug dealers and I only. I'm the. It's like when I was in prison, it seemed like I was the only one that was guilty. Like, am I the only guilty person here? I'm the only person accountable. You were selling drugs. That mean that you were not taking time to learn the. From your. You wouldn't even listen to your family. First of all, they spoke to me in English. Your family did not tell you to sell drugs.

[Thomas Dopas]

Of course they didn't. They're on drugs.

[Ali Siddiq]

No. Family ain't tell you to sell no drugs.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I didn't say they did. They were doing drugs. They didn't know what I was doing.

[Ali Siddiq]

Your mom and dad was doing. Doing drugs.

[Thomas Dopas]

My dad was on crank. And then I'm almost punching me in the face.

[Ali Siddiq]

He had a whole mom.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I know. That's why I hid the drug selling.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

So she.

[Ali Siddiq]

Because she did not want you kill me. See, this is what people do to their families. They try to make their families out to be up when they know their families was telling people in their family. Was telling your whole family. No, it may have been one or two people up, but it's not a whole family. Of course, telling. Telling my. My dad. So my dad had a job and he still sold powder cocaine. But he didn't tell me to do it, you know, saying my mom is a history professor. She damn sure didn't tell me to do drugs. So I'm not going to put that on them. It's on me that I decided I want to do other. Other than what they said.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, I didn't once say anybody told.

[Ali Siddiq]

Me to sell drugs. You could. That's what I'm saying with.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I didn't. Money, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

You. What you were doing when you started selling drugs, 13. What did you. And that's what. What year is this? What year is this?

[Thomas Dopas]

2002.

[Ali Siddiq]

2002. It was nothing else that you. First of all, this is after the whole I want to know where you're going. This is after the whole say no to drugs era. Their program, this thing. No way before Dara. So I started selling dope in 1987. Okay, okay. So I'm busted. I'm busted in 91. I'm in prison in 91. So after I come home in 97, you trying to tell me go from that time after New Jack City and after all this other. But what I'm saying is it's the fact that all this drug and say no to dope and all this, all these programs and all this that was launched. You decided to sell dope in 2000.

[Thomas Dopas]

What do you know what being poor and not having money.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, yeah, that's same with me.

[Thomas Dopas]

So you put drugs to make money just like I did. I don't see the difference. I don't see the difference.

[Ali Siddiq]

So jobs in school.

[Thomas Dopas]

I was 13. I can't get a job yet.

[Ali Siddiq]

Come on.

[Thomas Dopas]

And I had a job my whole life.

[Ali Siddiq]

The whole thing is.

[Thomas Dopas]

I think this was misinterpreting who I am. I've been working since I was 5 years old hard manual aid my whole life.

[Ali Siddiq]

So if you've been working, you've been working enough money, man, I Man, I just don't see how.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't get lunch tickets. I don't get money. My mom doesn't make me lunch. I make money.

[Ali Siddiq]

I was, I was in the same. I was in the same boat. It was other. It was other things that I could have done. Versus selling a job at 13.

[Thomas Dopas]

Legally, though, I just work for my family.

[Ali Siddiq]

You can't sell dope legally ever.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, but you can't get it. You can't get it, but I can. I can do it and make money. I can't go to a job and go hire me.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm the risk. The risk of. It's like when I'm 14, the risk was greater than the reward.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I'm hungry. I don't have lunch tickets. What do I do?

[Ali Siddiq]

The risk was like, I need to eat food. Did you ever get. You ever got busted?

[Thomas Dopas]

No.

[Ali Siddiq]

So that means that you understand how the risk. The risk. Like if you was you 14, you 13. How many times in the. In the course of me being 14 that I could have got killed by somebody that was out there, that was. That was doing the same thing I was doing that was older than me?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, but you're in the.

[Ali Siddiq]

Your.

[Thomas Dopas]

Your drug is a whole different.

[Ali Siddiq]

What's the ball game?

[Thomas Dopas]

Because I'm selling ounces of weed and mushrooms and coke. Sometimes you're on the cocaine, where it's like carry a gun at all times. Me, it's different. We's a little different.

[Ali Siddiq]

It didn't start like that. That's the. That's the misconception, people, that it. It was somewhere in there that honor amongst these failed because at first you didn't have to. You didn't have to carry no gun to sell dope at all. It was fair exchange, was no robbery. If you calling me for an ounce, you got the 600, I got the ounce, I come give it to you. Then somewhere in between them, people start robbing people. Yeah. And that was. That was like two or three years in. It wasn't. That's that how it wasn't. It wasn't like that at first. So somewhere it. Some people lost some honor to the game. So now from 14, where I could just hand it off to you, hand me my money, and we gone. Then now I'm 17 and. And people killing people behind this. It's two different. It's two different ball games. Now if you selling. You selling weed and you in Dallas and Jamaicans are controlling the weed, the weed situation. Now somebody else starts selling weed. Now Jamaicans is going to the extreme with you behind marijuana. I'm saying, like, why was somebody. Why this even illegal one? You know what I'm saying? But now you got a whole different mindset of people that's. That's killing people behind selling pounds of marijuana. It's just the. The Mint. The mentality is. Is different. So the risk in it is different because this what you wouldn't do as your 21 year old brother. You wouldn't have him selling drugs at 13.

[Thomas Dopas]

Never.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, because. Because you understand the risk now. So sometimes people can't go back and see that the was risky. Especially if you're in a different space is risky. Now weed out here in California is prevalent, but I remember when it wasn't and it was. It wasn't even God. We was called reefer at the time. People were selling reefer. This could get. Get sketchy. Especially if you selling in somebody's thing when a dime bag was this goddamn.

[Thomas Dopas]

Big damn three fingers before the rolled.

[Ali Siddiq]

Rolled into a. Into a bag. And you know what I'm saying? And it should have came with a bird. All the goddamn seeds that was in the goddamn weed. Like hey take this, take this weed and a parrot. The was different.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So then when I used to think that people selling meth. Oh they. They having it safe. Meth is crazy. Way worse. Don't think they want meth and all this that people get into. I remember when people used to sell acid and my boy used to put it on a sheet of paper. Like I never knew what was. He just had these like these skeletons. It's a skull head on.

[Thomas Dopas]

On.

[Ali Siddiq]

On a little thin piece of paper. And he was selling this. And I was like, what the you got going on? He's like yo, this acid man. People be dropping this. And then you would see somebody on ass. You like yo, the is going on with them. So now you have this. You have. This was a. Some dangerous too selling marijuana. It's called sherm sticks. Well I'm from.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. Where you put that? They would dip it.

[Ali Siddiq]

They would dip it in. In the bombing floor. Now these was out of this goddamn mind.

[Thomas Dopas]

Terrible.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was out of their mind. You talking about being stuck somewhere.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, I know. I remember every second of it. I couldn't walk. Can't walk. You can't think.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yo, why are you still saying the same way I'm gonna fall in this hole?

[Thomas Dopas]

Can't fall.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. What hole you this hole.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's there.

[Ali Siddiq]

I promise you it's there. And I never did it. But I'm like my boy like yo, the is there dark.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's just.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was.

[Thomas Dopas]

I almost couldn't make up my stairs and I flopped under my toilet. It was bad and that.

[Ali Siddiq]

And. And I just think that that risk for K like now a lot of is glorified that is. Is Dangerous to kids. And plus I have children. I. My 15 year old son has no ideology. Like hard life for him is. Yo, we went to this restaurant and they were out of oysters. I can't believe it.

[Thomas Dopas]

Out of oyster. I mean, that's awesome. That's what you always wanted when you were selling drugs.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like idea. And with my mom and my dad, like living with my mom, I didn't realize it wasn't about that. She didn't. It wasn't enough. It's like I just wanted more than I wanted other that I was saying other than what she was providing. It was no. It was no. Every time I buy a pair of Converse now I just want to just go apologize to my mama because it's like she would buy me Converse. But this is when high top chucks cost 12. Oh, they used to be 30 12. And then, and then $8 for the low tops. You, you buy these shoes in the, in a grocery store. It was everywhere. But I was on some. Oh, I need lottos. I need capers, I need, I need K. Swiss. I need these other shoes. And then I wanted the Jordans and I wanted the Barclays. I wanted the Bo Jacksons and these were 80 shoes. And then. And when I look back on it, 80 shoe in 1988. Crazy a lot. So it was. I, I wasn't in a space where I was okay with what I was being provided is the, is the whole key. My mom was doing a excellent job. But every time I buy a pair of Chucks, I voluntarily go in and buy a pair of Chucks. I said, oh, I want some black Chucks. And I just like, God damn it. I should just call my mom right now. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was, I was judging you on the wrong. I was judging your pockets on the wrong.

[Thomas Dopas]

So that's what got you into the like, oh, I need to make money by myself.

[Ali Siddiq]

I want, I want, I want. You know, but was I missing meals? No, you know, I wasn't. Was. Was there. You know, it's just a. Okay. Beans and rice. Like I eat beans and rice and, and oh, this is like what of my favorite meals. Favorite meals to this day? Favorite meals. Beans, black beans. Rice with pico.

[Thomas Dopas]

What's pic. Oh, you mean pico deo?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, Pico deo just by itself. Just on that.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm eating right now. Cuz I'm trying to.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm like. And I'm like happy as getting up. Get up in the morning and take old rice and fried rice. And eggs. And I'm exactly what I'm doing. I'm in. In goddamn head heaven. As a millionaire. As a millionaire. If. If you give me yellow rice, black beans and pico, I am like humming. I got my shoes off and rub my feet together. I'm like, I'm happy. It's all I know. And I should just, and I should just always go apologize to my mom, cuz, like, that's all you need. And my mom like, and my mom like, I need a rack of lamb to go with this. No, I didn't, I didn't need none of that. I just, My mom was like, yo, you should be happy and grateful. And I think the, the point of me being grateful for everything is different now. Most people now don't even know what you have on. Especially, you know, I could, I could.

[Thomas Dopas]

Come in terms of brands and yeah, it's super important when you're younger. For some reason. Reason.

[Ali Siddiq]

For some reason. This, this is not all you have, though.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like, what can I stand out? Like, I look fresh.

[Ali Siddiq]

If I was that much. If somebody was to look at me and be like, oh, he's just got on regular clothes. You have no idea. This is a 900 jacket. See, you have no idea. Because some people don't know who the Tom Ford is. Yeah, they don't. They can't sell. Oh, there's a nine dollar blue jean jacket. He got on 800 sneakers.

[Thomas Dopas]

What you just said right there, I have no.

[Ali Siddiq]

You have no idea.

[Thomas Dopas]

It made me stop buying that stuff when I went, this is a shirt. Fuck am I doing buying a 700 shirt? And I stopped.

[Ali Siddiq]

But I never again because I hurts my soul. It's the, it's what I said. I say this all the time. You have to buy what you like. Not the branding. This is a jacket that I like the jacket, sick.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, but if they Levi, like 30 bucks.

[Ali Siddiq]

But yeah, but I have a Levi jacket.

[Thomas Dopas]

I get it. The reason you get, I want it fudge you. I like.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's the difference. You know, I wear, I wear these shoes called Golden Goose. They come, they come up.

[Thomas Dopas]

They look wrecked already, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

I know what you're talking about.

[Thomas Dopas]

They look like a worker shoe.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. And somebody come like, yo, I got 70 pair of them. I've been wearing them since 2017. But you wouldn't know because people are not in that space any any longer. It's like. And when I think about the, like, in comedy, most people don't know how long somebody's been doing something.

[Thomas Dopas]

Not at all. You can't I mean, if you're seasoned.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like you, they just know you when you. When they see you.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. But like, like, you can.

[Ali Siddiq]

When they see you, you know, they were like, oh. You know, because now I remember I used to get. I used to get uptight when people would call me new and I called DL I'm like, yo, why these people think I'm new? All this I've been on. And DL simply said, rather be new than old. And that was. Was like, no, I'm gonna go into some logical with you, right?

[Thomas Dopas]

Complaint again. Never again.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, who gives a.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's the best way to look at it, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Stopped all of it, actually, when you said that. Stopped everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

I. Do you understand the level of anger I called him with? And he was like this. It was this simple. He was like, rather be new to know.

[Marty O'Neill]

Bye.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, thanks.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, that's all I needed.

[Ali Siddiq]

But then I. Then I had to remember I've been in this game long enough to call one of the kings of comedy. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

And be like, yo, pick up. Picked up. Thanks for the advice.

[Ali Siddiq]

I've been in this game long enough to. Been able to call Dick Gregory saying, I've been in the game long enough to be able to come down the street and me and Bill Burr see each other, and we excited to see each other, you know, and then I'm mad at somebody who don't really know my career, know me, or really maybe a casual comedy fan, you know, may only know the comics that they see in movies and not actually no traveling, working comedians. Most people don't, because it's a lot of us out here, and most people don't, you know, and that's going. And it takes me right back to being grateful for what you do in this business, you know, it's grateful. Like, right now, you don't really have to. You work, but you don't have to punch somebody's clock. Yeah, that's a. That say a gold that some people are seeking that they. I never had to punch somebody's clock. You. You in a great space where you can do what you actually want to do. And that's the. The caveat and the. In the. In the blessing of being a comic or being a independent that you can do what you. Man, you get up, you can hire your little brother, you can hire your friend. You know what I'm saying? Y' all can. Man, you. You don't have to do if you don't want to. You can. You can say, hey, man, today we ain't Doing nothing. We going to Miami.

[Thomas Dopas]

Good.

[Ali Siddiq]

And.

[Thomas Dopas]

One day we'll do it.

[Ali Siddiq]

We're going to Miami. That's just. And. And that freedom is with. It's such a. It's such an isolated thing, you know, it's people that have these mentalities that. That they are locked into from being in different positions. It's people that own houses that have never painted a wall because they have an apartment mentality. Because they lived in an apartment so long that they get in the house and they are never paint a wall what you're saying. Or never change anything because it's some fear like somebody else the landlord is gonna come in and charge me for this. This is your house.

[Thomas Dopas]

What you just said. I just did and went, wait, I don't even own this house. No, I'm gonna get the landlord do. But it's the apartment. I grew up in apartment my whole life. So I get it. Like, someone's gonna change the vent, right? It's broken. I feel you like the warehouse. I'm like, this is our wall. Why do I'm in the back? Like, we need to fix this. I don't own it. But still, like, this is ours. That apartment mentality. I've never heard anybody say, you're right. I got that. You know what I mean? Like. But I grew up fixing houses, so it's different. I don't want to do that if I don't have to do it. You know, man, I did this in my whole life. It sucks. Cleaning up after people leave is the nastiest you ever. I have picked up human off of floors because people don't want to pay the rent. Like this apartment. Destroy that. I gotta clean it. Oh, I gotta hate it doing it. People are raunchy.

[Ali Siddiq]

But. But watch this. I own the comedy club. Had to do it. This is my. This is my place. I own apartment. I own. I leased out an apartment. People would up. I had to do it. And what I did what I hated to do when I was younger or what and what I learned to do then I hated to do it. Then I came back to owning some where I had to do it myself.

[Thomas Dopas]

It always comes back and forth because you it.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's like if I hate the fact that I just didn't lock into. Like I can run electricity, but I just didn't lock in the hanging sheetrock. But what happens in my house most of the time some sheetrock happens way more than elect electrical happen.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yes.

[Ali Siddiq]

The dog just ran to the wall and chipped the whole thing. And I'M like, God damn it. So do I go and stack with this, try to fix it, or do. Ah, I'd rather bend some conduit. Like, I don't do this, but I can do it. I can do, like.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, it's like, also, I'll make an excuse back. I'm busy. I got, like, four other things I could do. I'm gonna hire somebody to do this real quick. That's kind of how I feel right now with, like, fixing, like, my whole family's mechanics. I'm not gonna fix my car. I hate it. I can't stand it. Do it my whole life. Can't stand it. You do it. It drives me insane. But, you know, I mean, like, I can. I just. I'm not gonna. I. I hate it.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know, one thing I will do. I go out and wash my own car washcloth different.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's cool.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, it's California.

[Thomas Dopas]

Can't really do that.

[Ali Siddiq]

That. That Escalade is a lot longer when you're washing it.

[Thomas Dopas]

And then the middle of the top is just so far when you're trying.

[Ali Siddiq]

To wash it yourself. You like. I know in the right. In the middle of you, like, man, this is a bad idea. But when it looks crazy and people. People have said this to me, yo, man, what you got going on? I'm like, what you mean? I. I drove past your house and you was out there washing your Bentley. I'm like, it's a call.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh. Because apparently he's like, why are you washing yourself? Type of thing. But you're in Texas. You got. You got. You. Can you bring a hose and wash your, like, out here? It's like, I'm gonna get fined possibly for washing my car.

[Ali Siddiq]

You see the difference? I got. I got a hose in the back, and on both sides of the house, we had water holes. And y' all can. Y' all have to.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm saying some people like, yo, you know, you shouldn't be washing your car. You might get. Fine. There's a low water. California's. California's different, man. But, like, where I'm from, up north, like, oh, wash. We wash diesels at my grandma's. Like, you have to.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, you wash it. You wash your diesel.

[Marty O'Neill]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

How hard is to watch? Top of diesel impossible. You know how wet a ladder gets when you're up there? That. I'll hire some. See things like that. I could do it, but do it. Don't think I'm gonna.

[Ali Siddiq]

But if you ain't got to do, like, during the pandemic you did it. Yeah, to do.

[Thomas Dopas]

I just started more businesses, that's all. I did the pandemic. How much can I do with my time? And then now here we are.

[Ali Siddiq]

Dude.

[Thomas Dopas]

Tried my best and had this the past couple years, I've tried to, like, delegate. Like, yo, I could do it, but if you do it, I can get this done while you get that done. Yeah, like you said, my team. Like, I'm not doing that. You go do the merch table, you produce, you do the filming, you market. I'm the business. Like you're saying. Like, I'm trying to act like that more with, like, just that task. The I gotta do, you know?

[Ali Siddiq]

But that's.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's a part of being a leader and being the owner. Something you. You delegate. You. You pick the team. You pick the right team, and then you delegate out what you need to do, because you can't. If you do it all yourself, you'll burn out.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's what I've been doing for 10 years. So I feel you, like, Danny just moved the shells. I would have did that after you left. I would have moved the whole warehouse. But right now, he's moving in my front for me. Like, yeah, you work here. That's the whole point. I feel bad. Ask people to do for me. Even though I'm paying you. Like, no, actually, you work here. You should do that. I feel weird because I do everything myself. Like, you know what's kind of weird? Can you make my bed? Like, but you don't ask at the hotel. You're like, yeah, they made it. Yeah. I don't know. It's a different thing. Like when you grow.

[Ali Siddiq]

You asking to make the bed?

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I'm saying, like, some random someone cleaning your house or some random lady that you.

[Ali Siddiq]

That you messing with.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, no, but you know what I'm saying. Could you imagine? Hey, I know. We just got done. Can you make the bed?

[Ali Siddiq]

That's what, that's what I'm thinking. Like, hey, hey, hey. Make this bed up before you leave.

[Thomas Dopas]

That'd be crazy.

[Ali Siddiq]

$200 right over there.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's for the cleaning of the house.

[Ali Siddiq]

Clean house, not for anything else.

[Thomas Dopas]

Actually, can you wash my car? But don't get fined on the way.

[Ali Siddiq]

I got Diesel for you to watch on the way out.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, could you imagine? Could you watch this? Diesel?

[Ali Siddiq]

Some small shorts. Oh, man, I should pay you. Just you thought about I should pay some young lot lizard. I know what that is.

[Thomas Dopas]

I know what that is.

[Ali Siddiq]

That is crazy. When I first heard that first time.

[Thomas Dopas]

I was like 6. My dad's all a lizard ago. That lady's a lizard. I remember, I saw like, what do you think she's a lizard? Because as a kid, everything's literal. I'm like, she's a lizard. He goes, a lot. Lizard. I don't know what that means. She's a hooker. Still don't know what that means, man. I'm six. It's like, she's a prostitute. Like, full. Hit me back later. I don't know what that means.

[Ali Siddiq]

He keeps saying words.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. I was like, I still don't know what that means.

[Ali Siddiq]

Dad keeping.

[Thomas Dopas]

He left it at that. He didn't like, she has sex for money. He didn't say nothing. He just left it. I was like, I don't know a lot. Lizard means. I was about 12. I found out what that really was.

[Ali Siddiq]

Crazy. Is it you when you first, like. I heard the word first and then I actually saw one. I was like, man, is she on meth?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yes. Yes, she is. She.

[Ali Siddiq]

No wonder you got a lot. She ain't got no teeth to block her tongue.

[Marty O'Neill]

Crazy.

[Thomas Dopas]

Gross, man. First time I ever talked to when I was a kid walking in.

[Ali Siddiq]

How are you talking to one?

[Thomas Dopas]

She asked me for something. I was a kid paying for diesel.

[Ali Siddiq]

Sir, can I have.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, she asked me for like, do you know where this is? I'm like, I'm a child. Why would you ask me?

[Ali Siddiq]

But I remember that, like, you had money. You already making money. You like you had money. Hey, sir, that little $13 that you have in your pocket right now, it.

[Thomas Dopas]

Literally was like, 13 bucks.

[Ali Siddiq]

I will do something strange for that little piece of.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, my dad let me do the landing gear. You give me two dollars.

[Ali Siddiq]

And you came back. You like, I only have three dollars left. This lady over there.

[Thomas Dopas]

My innocence is gone, by the way. I think I have herpes.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is crazy town. Oh, man.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. I grew up. My family was truckers and mechanics. So, like, I grew up sleeping at the parking lot just like, you know what's crazy?

[Ali Siddiq]

I used to think all truckers were serial killers.

[Thomas Dopas]

Really?

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, every time I watch all these strange ass women getting killed by truckers getting. No, they were just women. When people were disappearing and being found at the place, I'm like, and. And my mom's like, well, who else could actually do this?

[Thomas Dopas]

I guarantee you 5% of these fools are in psycho.

[Ali Siddiq]

And truckers be having the. It's like, how did you find. Okay, this is the main road, and this is a access road. Then this is another little road. What the is this road that you going down?

[Thomas Dopas]

That's my dad, like, who counts some roads? I'm like, it's not even on a map. We used to have to do that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. What is this road, dude? And why are you parking?

[Thomas Dopas]

Why are we here? Yeah, I've woken up in the weirdest spots, like, as a kid wake up. Like, we're in the desert. It's not California the happened, but we mean Bakersfield in the cut somewhere. They're definitely psychotic, man. And honestly, the most seediest goes down at truck stops. Like, it looks quiet. There's some going down in those trucks.

[Ali Siddiq]

I was in. I. I was gonna beat the out of this dude, and another dude saved him because I was in the. In a. A truck stop, in a girl in, like, these gas stations where they. And they got showers and all this. So I don't know that they have showers in this place. I'm just in that. We stop. It's like a loves or something. Yeah, we stop getting drinks, whatever. And this dude was like, you got a shower? Who the are you talking to? Oh. And so I was on the other side of things. So I'm coming around like, yo, bro, who the. You asking me to take a shot, and I am about to beat his ass. Yo, man, this the dude. Like, yo, yo. Another dude was like, hey, hey, brother. He not asking you to take a shower. He think you a trucker and asking you do you have a huge. Yeah for a shower? Because he needed a. A coin, a card to get next for another shower. And I said, oh, he didn't. He didn't say that. He just said, you want to shout? He came at you wrong. And. And I saw that this was gonna go bad. I was gonna him up like, you don't be asking me in the. I'm looking at.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm looking at drinks, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm looking at Funyuns. You asked me, do I want a shower. Was it an Indian?

[Thomas Dopas]

Man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Goddamn. How to Catch a Predator ass. You know, that was crazy. It was a show. How to catch a Predator.

[Thomas Dopas]

Of course, Chris Hansen.

[Ali Siddiq]

And it was.

[Thomas Dopas]

We have a better show for you, if you want to know.

[Ali Siddiq]

It was all. It was damn near Indians and elderly white guys. It was crazy.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like, those folks got a lot in common. They love to.

[Ali Siddiq]

They love Indian. No, no, no. I just came over to help her with her homework with. With condoms and wine coolers.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, yeah. I don't know if you approve. There's a. There's a trend of people that Go catch predators and beat the out of them. That's one some of our friends, we just had them on the show last week. What they do is they pretend to be Chris Hansen, and when they get there, go, I can either beat the out of you or call the cops. Which one do you want? Because every time they call the cops, they don't get arrested. So, like, just make them think we're going to call the cops. Let's just beat the out of predators. And I love it. It's my. I watched it how long? Last night.

[Ali Siddiq]

What?

[Thomas Dopas]

$132 for the year. I paid it last night, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

What show is this?

[Thomas Dopas]

Dad's Against Predators. That's what they're called.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, can they hire me?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, see, I like you. People go, I don't like that. Go. Why the don't you like you? Huh?

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, man, I saw some glove. I just saw some gloves on the. On the Internet that. That got the brass knuckles already. I'm like, yo, hire me and let me. Because I need. I was. I was looking like, what the would I need these gloves for? And now bingo, done. I come home, they look like winter.

[Marty O'Neill]

Gloves with their brass knuckles.

[Ali Siddiq]

Basically, I'm like, perfect. Goddamn order them tomorrow.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, let's go.

[Ali Siddiq]

Can you get me an application for this? Dad against.

[Thomas Dopas]

So Dad's against predators. We'll be back next week. He's. He's. We're trying to get the show on TV right now, but Marty's backing it. So I found these guys a couple years ago. They just, you know, find some predators in the street.

[Ali Siddiq]

I. If they get. They. If they sell me some episodes, I put it on my YouTube page.

[Thomas Dopas]

They got kicked off YouTube. We got kicked. We got one of our videos taken down today from YouTube because it said for bullying. He's a pedophile, man. What do you want me to say? He's bullying, if anything.

[Ali Siddiq]

What can I watch this show at, man?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, I'll give you the links. Oh, I'll give you both links. Two guys.

[Ali Siddiq]

I just wanna buy them gloves. And being a trained boxer, I'm like, are you?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, damn. So you can't be going hitting people, man. You to kill somebody.

[Ali Siddiq]

She. They're not people. They're predators.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's true, but jail's still real.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey, hey, man. The reward.

[Thomas Dopas]

You know what? First you know what you're doing already.

[Ali Siddiq]

Maybe I wear a mask. I don't know.

[Thomas Dopas]

Don't say nothing. There's a guy named Dr. Pepper. He doesn't speak. He just runs up. He don't slap more. He just knocks fools of sleep.

[Ali Siddiq]

I put my mouthpiece in.

[Thomas Dopas]

Big platform. She like.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm 63. Who is that guy? I would wear.

[Ali Siddiq]

I would give me some platform chucks.

[Thomas Dopas]

They make them, dude. I see them at Santee Alley. Mexican girls wear them all the time.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, man, that.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm so glad you like it. Yeah, dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

Oh, I was. Oh, man.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, I can't wait to give you the links. I watched it. We watched it at dinner last night. I just watched one more.

[Marty O'Neill]

Predators.com coming real soon.

[Thomas Dopas]

Dad against Predators.com.

[Ali Siddiq]

You have a wife?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

No kids yet.

[Thomas Dopas]

No kids. We're both very busy and love our time.

[Ali Siddiq]

Do neither one of y' all speak Spanish?

[Thomas Dopas]

She speaks Spanish a little bit. Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

So you don't want to learn from nobody.

[Thomas Dopas]

She just took duolingo this year. He's learning Japanese right now. That's the only way we're gonna learn, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

You ain't giving. You ain't taking no time to get this Spanish down. No.

[Thomas Dopas]

While she's doing that and they're doing that.

[Ali Siddiq]

Let me give you. Give me four words from. You give me four words.

[Marty O'Neill]

I'll mix it in Spanish. We put.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, we AI be speaking Spanish. My grandma was shocked. She was stripping. It looked real, but then again, we said it. I need a penmanship class.

[Ali Siddiq]

Spanish. You don't right? Well.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, my. Looks like this. It's not good, dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's not good, man.

[Thomas Dopas]

You should see my signature when I autograph. It has a smiley face because it's the only legible thing. Every bank statement, smile, face, joint, smoke, because they have to take it. I think it's funny. So that's how I sign everything. It's a little joint smiley face. My name, it looks like. Dude, it looks. I can't even compare it to anything. I gotta be honest.

[Marty O'Neill]

I got a question for you.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yes.

[Marty O'Neill]

I saw, I believe, your first appearance on Rogan. That's where I first, I think, saw you when you told the story about having the conflict with the corrections officer, Mitchell.

[Ali Siddiq]

That was on this is not happening. That was the second. That was my second. This is not happening.

[Marty O'Neill]

That wasn't on Rogan.

[Ali Siddiq]

I probably talked about it on Rogan, but my second this is not happening. When I told the story was that because it was. The first one was the prison ride, which is affectionately known as the Mexican got on Boots. Then Mitchell was the. Is the correction officer and then the mushroom story.

[Marty O'Neill]

So when you went back and filmed your comedy special at the prison was different. It Was a different one.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Marty O'Neill]

Oh, gotcha. Okay.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Marty O'Neill]

So I was wondering, was that motherfucker still there?

[Ali Siddiq]

No. So I was doing a show on npr, and this guy's interviewing me, and he literally, out of nowhere, when we went to break, he said, can I tell you something? I said, we've been here talking for, like, you can tell me. Funny. He said, that guy that you told a story about, Mitchell was my stepdad, and he is a prick like that. And I was like, world. I was like, word. He's like, y. My stepdad.

[Marty O'Neill]

I was wondering, did he ever hear that story?

[Ali Siddiq]

I was like, where is he living?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh.

[Ali Siddiq]

And he's like, no, I'm not gonna tell you that. Like, I just want to know this.

[Thomas Dopas]

With me, actually, and I don't want you coming by.

[Ali Siddiq]

I just want to know, like, is he still around?

[Thomas Dopas]

It's crazy how guards can be. I grew up going to the prisons every weekend. My mom was married to a dude in prison when I was growing up and going there and seeing, like, how these. Some of these are. Is different. Like, going to, like, this.

[Ali Siddiq]

This.

[Thomas Dopas]

The federal sprint. Like, you know, I'm visiting every weekend. This takes four hours to get through. It sucks. And Texas prisons are a lot different than California. Like, oh, vastly different, actually.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Just. Just from what I hear, like, he was my stepdad for 10 years, so I heard all that. Don't go. Don't go to jail, guys. Yeah, don't go to jail. And if you're gonna go to jail.

[Ali Siddiq]

Don'T go to prison.

[Thomas Dopas]

Don't go to. Yeah, just don't go to. Don't go to prison. What did it feel like?

[Marty O'Neill]

What did it feel like? Doing the special, going back there like that on top.

[Ali Siddiq]

I was free.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I'm out after this, actually. That bill. Not for me.

[Ali Siddiq]

As soon as they wrap this up, you know, I'm leaving.

[Thomas Dopas]

No status. Be laughing going. He gets to leave.

[Ali Siddiq]

No. You know what, man? The. The crazy thing when we. When we was recording that, right? But Comedy Central, The. The producers had some crazy that they. They was talking about while I was at lunch. So they had this fingerprint machine that you put your hand on, and then they bring up. They match your fingerprints. Anything in the. In the country. So I'm coming in from. From lunch, and the producer, I was like, look, we came up with this wonderful idea. When you come in, you want to put your hand on this fingerprint machine, then it's going to bring your stuff up. And I was like, what? Like, no. And so the attorney, Victoria Worked for Commerce Central. Victoria sees my face. Like, she walks over and said, hey, what's wrong? I said, they didn't came up with some cool crazy talking about me putting my hand on this. This fingerprint machine. And Victoria says, let me handle this. So she walks over to producer and the director, and she's holding these files in her hand like this. And she says, hey, guys, you know what I have in my hand? He's like, no, these are his. This is his background check. These are his files. This is all his files. And I want. I want to say this to y', all, because this is not an actor. Are we clear? There would be no putting fingerprints on old machine with his fingerprints. Come on. What we would hate is the star not to be able to leave here. So we're gonna. We're gonna back away from that one. And. And she came over, and she walked past me. Somehow that's done. Like.

[Thomas Dopas]

But what was the point of having you do that?

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, because they was wanting the scene.

[Thomas Dopas]

Where, like, you were getting checked in.

[Ali Siddiq]

I was getting checked in. It was a part of the opening, and I was like, y' all losing y' all mind.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's the last thing you want to do. Yeah, I'm back.

[Ali Siddiq]

She's like, the. No, not doing that part of it. I had already had a conversation with this guy that was in there that was wanted for these murders, and literally, because I talked to him for a while, and it was un. It was unsupervised. I was on the wreck yard, so I'm just talking to people on the record. So I talked to him. And literally, we are on, like, Ann Harris, Jonah, all of us. We had to go to a deposition with. With the attorneys to see what we talked about.

[Thomas Dopas]

And that is serious.

[Ali Siddiq]

And it's like, I've never been in trouble before. Then I get in trouble without leaving. Like, so he was all in there and all these attorneys. I'm like, this, like, what y' all talking about? We didn't talk about his case. He didn't say to me about his case.

[Thomas Dopas]

What they think you gave him some insider information.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like, I told him I was gonna get him attorney or some. I'm like, what the. Are y'? All.

[Thomas Dopas]

Even if. So it's your choice, you know?

[Ali Siddiq]

But they was. They was on the weird.

[Thomas Dopas]

I get it, though. But, yo, this guy's been here to prison before. What if you want some? What if he's trying to do some? That's what they're thinking, because why else would you ever Assume they're not going to go ask like you said. Lucy K. Like what you guys talk about. Dog.

[Ali Siddiq]

I didn't ask him what he was even in for. That wasn't. I'm talking to people on the record. I talked to everybody that was out there, not just him.

[Thomas Dopas]

So he's got some going on. That's all that is. They were searching like that's that what's he talking.

[Ali Siddiq]

He has some real.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Going on.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's scary behind those walls how much power some of these guys have that can't leave scary man. Like what we talked. I've like I said my whole life just seeing this just. It's scary man. Especially on some weird mama married a white supremacist.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, I know bro.

[Thomas Dopas]

I know, I know, I know. So I was always going to the prisons and like this. My sister's darker than I am. And.

[Marty O'Neill]

And he spoke Spanish.

[Thomas Dopas]

And he spoke Spanish. Yeah, that's what taught me some. Yeah, he taught me some though I will say that he did teach me some Spanish words. Not the good ones but he did teach me. But yeah. Going to the print like you, you've never. I'm assuming you never went and visited people in prison. You went to jail and you got out. Like you're not going back. I'm assuming like to go visit anybody.

[Ali Siddiq]

I went and visit person or two.

[Thomas Dopas]

So you have. Okay. So yeah, that I don't know what it is about the process of visiting somebody, but you're treated as if you did some.

[Ali Siddiq]

They treat you as if you did what they did. Say man, I came to visit someone.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. It's. It's not. It's not the place to be guys just be cool. Start a lawnmower business. Do something else for real. Do landscaping. Dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

What time you have?

[Marty O'Neill]

307.

[Ali Siddiq]

Okay.

[Marty O'Neill]

They used to fully question me. Were you there when I used to go visit my brother? Were you there?

[Thomas Dopas]

Were you with him?

[Marty O'Neill]

Where were you? And like.

[Thomas Dopas]

But Marty's visiting a black dude in prison in Buffalo. Like who's this white ass rapper coming to see this man? They're probably asking what the you talking to him about too. I'm as a little 12 year old.

[Ali Siddiq]

Your brother black?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah.

[Marty O'Neill]

An adopted brother.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, my adopted brother. That's cool. As. Yeah.

[Marty O'Neill]

He went down for a bank robbery when he was like 18, 17.

[Thomas Dopas]

The last thing you gotta rob, man, you don't get away from that movies.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like one of my boys robbed the bank. They made a little HBO thing about him robbing the bank.

[Thomas Dopas]

So he got Caught him or something.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, yeah. And he's a comedian now.

[Thomas Dopas]

No.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. Leroy iii. And like, yo, why you don't ever talk about the bank route? Because I saw the. When I was locked up, I'm like, look at these rob goof ass. Like, bank robbery is crazy as hell.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's the ultimate.

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't give like. Like, it's like. It's like you watching Jesse James. Yeah, watching.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm getting away from this. Everybody died at the end of that movie, dog. Everybody always dies at the end of the movie.

[Ali Siddiq]

It is crazy town, usa. When I see somebody rob a bank, I'm like, remember that in LA, straight.

[Thomas Dopas]

Machine guns at the cost for 35 minutes. They almost took out the whole LAPD. Dude, two guys.

[Ali Siddiq]

Hey. Because they had that arm on. They were.

[Thomas Dopas]

Did have armor. I don't know. You weren't alive. These folks had shot gunning in the middle of downtown, shooting everything.

[Ali Siddiq]

In Houston, they would have shot a pazuka at the moment. Yo. He was like, yo, yo, Final Houston doesn't.

[Thomas Dopas]

I was going to the concert.

[Ali Siddiq]

They don't play around.

[Thomas Dopas]

This guy's like, I brought my pistol. I'm like, oh, yeah, you could bring pistols. He goes, you want the arm? These are just accessories. He's like, yeah, I got this one. It matches. He's like, it matches your. You want to take it, like, matches.

[Marty O'Neill]

Your outfit and greeting.

[Thomas Dopas]

So, yeah, at the meeting, I did these meet and greets in a open carry. There's a lot of people, everybody had a gun on their hip. So every time I'm signing something, like, we're good, right? You can just do this to me and I'm done. I had the biggest security guard in the world next to me. But even he left. He's like, dog, no one's doing nothing him. And he left and sat down five hours in. He's like, I'm just gonna sit down.

[Ali Siddiq]

Every.

[Thomas Dopas]

Even the girl, the girl that worked there. I'm like, you got a gun too? And she lifted her shirt and in her belt buckle was a pistol. They don't play around.

[Ali Siddiq]

No, man. I'm at the Mickey Leland building, which is where you get your passport at. Federal building in Houston. We in line. Maybe like 60, 70 people out there. And for you go through the metal detectors, you got to take all that stuff out. And this lady's like, this is a federal building. If anybody has any guns or knives on them, leave now and take it to your car. So it's like 70 people out there. The only person gets out of Line is my daughter, my oldest daughter. Then she comes back, I'm like, what you had? He said, my God. And you know, she, I'm glad you're protected. She licensed to carry. So she's like, yo, have my gun on me. Like, I have my gun on me all the time. Like sometimes I forget, but I have my gonna meet all the time.

[Marty O'Neill]

I was telling my daughter that too when she turns 18. People. My wife was looking at me as a insane like, no, it's a legit thing. Like, why not?

[Thomas Dopas]

Hell yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Do you understand the difference? If you got, if you have a gun on you, somebody kidnap you, throw you in the trunk or something and you just sitting there like, wait, wait, she open this. I'm have to save some other people when I get here because I'm damn show shooting. And then, and, and me being an. I just shoot through the seat for sure. You're definitely dying.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm going straight through the seat. And if it's got a latch, I'm gonna bust this down too.

[Ali Siddiq]

Kidnap me, throw me in the trunk. I won't go to sleep. And I can't wait till you. I can't wait till this stop.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm gonna get some rest. But also like, if you could get me in a trunk, congratulations. Like, you're strong, you work out, your back's good.

[Marty O'Neill]

I'm blasting him before I get in the trunk.

[Thomas Dopas]

But see, if I spoke Spanish, I could have got my way out of it and be like, hey, dog, leave me alone. See, I did not want to speak Spanish, man. I promise you did. Next time I see you, I'm going to be fluent. W. But just like in the Cuban.

[Marty O'Neill]

Spanish, we're going to be sponsored by dual lingo. You're going to be fluent.

[Ali Siddiq]

Come on.

[Thomas Dopas]

There you go. Spanish.

[Marty O'Neill]

My 8 year old daughter's at home learning like Korean on that.

[Thomas Dopas]

Doing Japanese in the day, my brain's over here going, dog, you don't got time for that. Shut the up. And I get back on my comments. I could easily, I could easily do it.

[Ali Siddiq]

That's what I'm saying. You don't.

[Thomas Dopas]

I can easily do it. I can easily do it.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's just, it's always time.

[Thomas Dopas]

It's. Oh no, there's always time. Especially now. We just set ourselves up, we do a lot of filming and like now we film on one day instead of five days a week. How much smarter? I feel stupid. It's been a long time I've been doing this, dude, I just figured it out three weeks ago. It's crazy.

[Marty O'Neill]

How much are you in the boxing gym?

[Ali Siddiq]

Huh?

[Marty O'Neill]

How much are you in the boxing gym?

[Ali Siddiq]

What you mean how much?

[Thomas Dopas]

You're there every morning, 5am 5am like.

[Marty O'Neill]

How many times a week?

[Ali Siddiq]

As soon as I'm in town.

[Thomas Dopas]

You said money. I watched, I watched the special. You said Monday through Wednesday.

[Ali Siddiq]

You're there every day.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, but also like, I want me.

[Ali Siddiq]

And my, me and my son. Love that. Yeah, so that was. Yeah, for sure.

[Marty O'Neill]

How long you been doing like that?

[Ali Siddiq]

Since I was six.

[Thomas Dopas]

Damn. Oh, you can beat the out of people. Never mind. You don't need to carry.

[Ali Siddiq]

I don't never even be saying nothing. I'm like, oh, okay. But that's why like even when I was locked up, I was like, oh, you want to fight?

[Thomas Dopas]

Are you sure?

[Ali Siddiq]

Like before I get up, I just want to make sure, before I stand up, make sure this is you are accurate about what you saying. I got people like, no, no, not the little one.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, the funny dude.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like you never even saw his hand. I'm like, yeah, my shit's. I ain't got no knuckles right there.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, those are pushed back.

[Ali Siddiq]

Those are deep. This is, this is hitting people too fast, like. Cause you hit some, you hit somebody and then they start going down and then you hit them in the head and then you bust your knuckles. Like it don't have enough experience, man.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like you like juicy. We got time, we can just work it out. Like if you crack somebody in this side, you'll your knuckle up. But right here you sleep them and you go, yeah, I haven't punched enough people in the face for that. I'm only, I've only not, I've only gotten, I've gotten many fights. I've only punched one person in the face. I feel like I might kill somebody and I go to jail. It's my biggest fear. Like I have dreams. Like, you got in the fight. He's dead.

[Ali Siddiq]

Prison like, oh, I, I, I, I don't really fight much cuz that's my, the, that's a fear of mine. If I hit you and then you land on the ground.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'm like, he killed some. He didn't go to jail because it was self defense, but he killed him in one shot. He died.

[Ali Siddiq]

The, the role, the role is so crazy. When somebody, when you roll on somebody and they just missed you and you see their whole face open, you like, should I do it or should I just throw the body shot? But body shot, Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't have the option. Don't get hit, don't get punched in the face. That's just the most embarrassing thing. Get up like I'm asleep.

[Ali Siddiq]

You know. The worst thing I ever did was, was hit somebody in the body and they oxygen is gone. And while they was going down, I was going down talking with them.

[Thomas Dopas]

Up.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is up, right? You can't breathe good, right? It's just say tell you, tell you, but you didn't want to listen.

[Thomas Dopas]

My first special, I knocked this out.

[Ali Siddiq]

When I, I saw this thing on the Internet the other day. This guy was white guy was messing with this older black dude and he telling, go on now, Ray. Going on, leave me alone.

[Thomas Dopas]

He kept telling him, oh, is it outside of a house?

[Ali Siddiq]

And they were.

[Thomas Dopas]

We watched so many clips here and.

[Ali Siddiq]

He had on like a welding.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

[Ali Siddiq]

The older man, the old man, them. I was like, yo, why don't people listen? Because this is, this is, this is a real thing. And I, I give people a tip. If somebody tell you, hey man, going on now, man, I want to do this, he's probably because it's too much, it's too much confidence. Yeah, he's saying that I don't want to do this.

[Thomas Dopas]

I've never seen anybody do that and then get slipped ever in my life.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's always the people, like with all that extra roaring and shit. But the person said, hey man, go on man, I don't want to do this. He just told you what he did not want to do and he's like, so you don't see none of the warning signs. And this like all of it is bad.

[Thomas Dopas]

I mean, since like 1970, we should know when Bruce Lee says, I don't want to fight, get the away from him and leave his family shop alone. That's what that means in the Chinese Canadian connection, dog. Like.

[Ali Siddiq]

That'S a real thing, man. When somebody say, hey, going on now.

[Thomas Dopas]

I've only heard it. I never had him say it to me. I've never caused a problem before, but.

[Ali Siddiq]

If you ever, you've heard somebody say.

[Thomas Dopas]

Many people say, and I agree, all.

[Ali Siddiq]

Of a sudden that person is wearing the other man.

[Thomas Dopas]

Hey man, I've warned people like, do you really want to do this? I've said that to some friends, like, he's gonna you up 6 5. He's the only person I've ever seen do some like that. That, yeah, we have to warn people, like, don't fight him, dude. So at parties, like, please.

[Ali Siddiq]

When my road manager gets here, my roadmap is 6465. And he'll tell people, hey, man, just leave this guy.

[Thomas Dopas]

Don't with him.

[Ali Siddiq]

Just leave him alone.

[Thomas Dopas]

As he looks down.

[Ali Siddiq]

What you mean? It's not you? No, no, no, it's him.

[Thomas Dopas]

I'mma throw him at you.

[Ali Siddiq]

He's. He's a. He's a problem because I'm not really here for him. I'm here for you. For you.

[Thomas Dopas]

Like, here to make sure you don't.

[Ali Siddiq]

Know, because I'm going to. I'm not gonna hold him because the last time I tried to hold him, then I got hit and went bad. Like, I've stabbed my road manager on purpose? No.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, by accident.

[Ali Siddiq]

He got away in. In the situation. Get your ass out the way.

[Thomas Dopas]

I gotta be honest. If you're a boxer and you got a knife, I'm gonna. I'm gonna run immediately because there's no way I'm stop. Your punches, let alone your punches are sharp. Now I'm out of here.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah. The dude was a Mortal Kombat character. Dude was playing the game, and I was like, yo, y' all better go on the on. Like. And my romance was like, hey, man, he didn't told y' all to go on the on. And he. His. His eyes and already flickered, and it's like, this is gonna be bad. So when he tried to stop me from going at the bird, I cut him with the name. And he's like, oh, you couldn't. The only reason I stopped because I cut him. I was like, well, get your ass out the way, because I'm. I'm going to go in.

[Thomas Dopas]

Were you Tasmanian devil spinning? How the. You cut somebody on accident as you're fighting this guy, he was in.

[Ali Siddiq]

He was literally in the way of me getting to the person. Like, man, get the out the way. Because if he want to do it.

[Thomas Dopas]

Good friend. It's a good friend, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

But he. We been at 25 years.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's a good friend. Like, I might get stabbed, but I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna try to stop.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm trying to stop, and then I'm.

[Thomas Dopas]

Gonna move as I'm bleeding.

[Ali Siddiq]

He tried to. He tried to catch me in Phoenix, dude. It was too quick. And, like, by the time I punched, my hand was coming back. And he was like, yeah, he too quick. And like, I said, no, you should have just slid in between us. But the dude, when I had to do his head against the door and he slid down the door like an old Western, the manager of the club was there, and he was like, is.

[Thomas Dopas]

That A comedy club?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

What is happening? That you're like, hey.

[Ali Siddiq]

And no, it was. It was when I was green room in between.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh.

[Ali Siddiq]

And I told him, I'm like, man, going the on, bro. Like, Like, I'm.

[Thomas Dopas]

No. Is he another comic? No, it's just somebody that was with somebody. Oh. Oh.

[Ali Siddiq]

But the manager was standing right there, like, yo, he told you. He told you so you all that. What you gonna do, sue us? He. I was literally right there when that man told you to leave him the alone. And I was outside the green room, going back into the green room, and he was in front of the door, and I was like, yo, man, what's up? And he said some things. And I was like, hey, man, I don't play like that. And he said it again and sit down, though. Like. And I said. And I. Before I. Even while he was sliding, I said, dre, I would hit him again. But here he got braces. Like, I wouldn't. Like, I'm playing with you.

[Thomas Dopas]

I just want to know if someone comes in their head, like, I'm going to go talk to that guy.

[Marty O'Neill]

You've had people say goofy.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, I've had people say the dumbest to me.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's crazy.

[Thomas Dopas]

Dumbest. You know how many times, like, you're. I get the. All the time. You're. You look taller online. Like, you mean on your screen, you idiot. What do you want? I. When you said that earlier, I'm like, yeah, I get that a lot. I say, how many times? Like, I am not big.

[Ali Siddiq]

At 59. You get that, too?

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. I'm like, I am not big. I've said that so many times. All my answer, six, two. My uncles are six foot. I'm the only person that doesn't not big. And I don't speak no Spanish. It's the worst.

[Ali Siddiq]

He's pretty tall.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. All my answer, his size. My mom's the only one that's not tall. My dad's six foot.

[Ali Siddiq]

My dude is six three.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, you must be pissed. I'm looking up at every one of my family members like, I can still fight all of you, but you guys also be a different world. If I was 63, I don't need it. I don't need it. That level of confidence would have ruined me. I don't want that. I'd be still trying to play football. And at 36, you know what I mean? Like, I can get it. I'm going to make it.

[Ali Siddiq]

But all the. All the best football players short. What you what? What would you have played like, what you play?

[Thomas Dopas]

I played center nose tackle, but at 63 nose tackle, I would have made it probably. That was amazing at football.

[Ali Siddiq]

Dude should have went running back.

[Thomas Dopas]

I play fullback, so that's. Yeah, running backs, I mean, they're small. Barry Sanders, man, look at that littlest guy ever.

[Ali Siddiq]

Damn. All of them.

[Thomas Dopas]

Well, I mean, the only time you need to be tall is that quarterback and Tom Brady kind of proves that because Doug Flutie was like, yeah, we're kick your ass off. You're too small.

[Ali Siddiq]

Even though he was good, Doug Floyd wanted a ring.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't know if he wanted. I thought he won the championship and.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think he won. I think floaty.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, I'm saying, like, he's good. If he was 4 inches taller, he would. He would have dominated. So I'm saying, I think God made me this height to be like, hey, keep yourself checked.

[Marty O'Neill]

Go into podcasting.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, you should. Don't fight people. Be good with your words, dog.

[Ali Siddiq]

Go on the podcast.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah, be good with your words and just don't make people mad.

[Ali Siddiq]

You ever thought about what people would be like if there was no podcasting?

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, for sure. I'd be doing the same show I was doing earlier. Selling weed.

[Ali Siddiq]

Selling weed, selling packs and making videos. Back to stuff.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, yeah, but legally. So I have a weed company. Yeah, yeah, I legally sell weed now all across America. But that's what I would be doing. I would just be doing that. And the clothes, I mean, we do so much. I have clothes in the mall and like, that would take up a lot of my time right there. Just that all my videos that we do for YouTube and, and dude, we're. We're already doing five minutes.

[Marty O'Neill]

Any one of the businesses is a full time job for sure.

[Thomas Dopas]

Any one of those. If I could drop one, oh my God, my life would be so much crazier. In a good way, you know?

[Ali Siddiq]

What's the name of your Wii company?

[Thomas Dopas]

The Dopest Shop. We ship dopest shop all 50 states. Pretty much. We can do all 50 states proper. Rolling papers at a paper company. Push Trees is my clothing company. We got this podcast, I got my other channel and then I'm slowing the down. I can't keep doing.

[Ali Siddiq]

There's no more.

[Thomas Dopas]

There's no more time, you know, there's not enough time in the day or enough people to help me.

[Marty O'Neill]

There's no more room for businesses.

[Thomas Dopas]

Absolutely. If I had two Martys this whole up. If there was two of these. Oh my God, man. Or if I had another me oh, I'd be sleeping at home. Making me do this right now. I wake up, do the night shift. Yeah, I went to. I don't like going to parties. I went to a release party the other day. My all time go. I got out in 12 minutes, man. Like, I went in, took a picture. You saw me bounce. I've. I don't know, I don't like going places, but I really like getting done. So I need to change that. Like, I need to be more social. I don't talk to ever. This is the most I talk to people ever, you know? You too, though. I don't know about you. Do you stay home most of the time? Okay. See, I don't feel as bad.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm anti social.

[Thomas Dopas]

Same. Isn't that crazy? You can be on stage in front of all these people, go. But don't talk to me. Really talk.

[Ali Siddiq]

You tired of talking like you talk for a living. And then you done like, I'm done talking.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't feel bad.

[Ali Siddiq]

And you shouldn't.

[Thomas Dopas]

All right, I'm glad to hear it, man. Cuz like, I'll be at places like you don't talk, Mike.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like right now when I leave here, I got to go talk to somebody else for an hour and a half.

[Thomas Dopas]

And I'm like, do it. Just have fun. Yeah, have fun. Do a spar. You should do some sparring video. I want to see. I want to see this dude. If you're over here knocking asleep, I would like to see that.

[Marty O'Neill]

Yeah, for damn sure.

[Thomas Dopas]

You know what I mean? Who else is funny that could fight, Beat the.

[Marty O'Neill]

I don't know. You gotta fight Mario Lopez.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, I don't do that. Take you to the ground real quick.

[Marty O'Neill]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Thomas Dopas]

Ankle pick somebody real fast. That was a beast.

[Marty O'Neill]

Who else boxes?

[Thomas Dopas]

Nobody. Nobody, dude. Well, you would know.

[Ali Siddiq]

There's a lot of comics that box.

[Thomas Dopas]

No, not like I say, in shape. Jiu jitsu like that. Know how to fight.

[Ali Siddiq]

Like you box like Steve Brown. Boxes Tony. Tone boxes Tony. Someone challenged me one time. I was like, cool. When like, I'm not.

[Thomas Dopas]

I would have backed out. Win.

[Ali Siddiq]

I'm gone, dude. Because he. I think because he's like a bodybuilder type dude. I'm like telling your shoulder's too wide to fight.

[Thomas Dopas]

To fight. Yeah. Is that why little Mexicans are good ass boxers?

[Ali Siddiq]

When you seen a. A wide shoulder dude, Muhammad Ali, that's.

[Thomas Dopas]

A big ass, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Muhammad Ali was shoulders, was, was in. Yeah. Foreman was bigger than him. That fool's as big as Foreman had wide shoulders. Look who won the fight.

[Thomas Dopas]

I mean, you know better than me. I don't know. I just know like, don't get knocked out. I hope I hit him.

[Marty O'Neill]

You mean wide shoulders because you're a bigger target. Is that the idea?

[Thomas Dopas]

I think the swing right.

[Ali Siddiq]

You have the. If your shoulders is like this, you gotta just come straight. You know, I'm compact. I'm a little more compact. It's like a. When you have a running back. That's why they small.

[Thomas Dopas]

True. Unless you're Derrick Henry's crazy ass. But that's anomaly.

[Ali Siddiq]

It's different the way they running there. They running Derek Henry like they ran Christian Nikoye.

[Thomas Dopas]

Why? Sound familiar?

[Ali Siddiq]

Christian Nicoye.

[Thomas Dopas]

What team?

[Ali Siddiq]

The Chiefs.

[Thomas Dopas]

This is like 15 years ago.

[Ali Siddiq]

Longer than that. Chris Nakoye is a mom. Like I don't remember the night they call them the Nigerian nightmare. He ran high and like, he would run like.

[Thomas Dopas]

And then mine goes back to Priest Holmes. That's the farthest back I can go in the Chiefs in my head.

[Ali Siddiq]

Damn. Yeah. That's not far enough.

[Thomas Dopas]

Not far enough.

[Ali Siddiq]

No.

[Thomas Dopas]

I don't remember the Chiefs before that. I remember so much 90s and 80s football, but I don't remember.

[Ali Siddiq]

The Chief was some monsters. It's like with Craig O. With the. With the Redskins or the Commanders.

[Thomas Dopas]

The dumbest name.

[Ali Siddiq]

Keep going.

[Thomas Dopas]

I hate that name, dude. What about the Blackhawks or the Chiefs?

[Marty O'Neill]

The Cleveland Indians.

[Thomas Dopas]

Cleveland Indians. Get mad at them too. The dumbest name change of all time. Sorry, Command. It was just Washington football team for a while, they said. And this year was just it.

[Marty O'Neill]

I don't know.

[Thomas Dopas]

But hold on. In the shadows.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yep.

[Thomas Dopas]

And that's what you're on right now. Bakersfield is this week, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, Bakersfield. This week.

[Thomas Dopas]

This week my mom was gone. She was super stoked. Yeah.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Sunday, okay. Hell yeah. And then Mondays is out now. And then you have four more coming out this. This year and all going on your YouTube channel.

[Ali Siddiq]

We have. My father is coming out in March. Then we have the dog. And then I'm shooting for in February 28th. 27. 28th in D.C. so those. Those. We'll spread those out over the thing.

[Thomas Dopas]

This is all on the YouTube.

[Ali Siddiq]

This is your all yours right now. I'm nominated for NAACP Image Awards for best outstanding variety series or special. Which. Which is My Two Sons. Then we have put out rugged. Right. Right after My Two Sons.

[Thomas Dopas]

So that's a huge award, man. My homie Donnie ran the NAACP for years. That's the top of the top when you get awarded from something like that, Congratulations. That's sick. That's massive, actually.

[Marty O'Neill]

And you got your first arena show coming up, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, in Baltimore.

[Marty O'Neill]

Two sec.

[Ali Siddiq]

I think we got a couple that's spread it out in. In the. The new tour dates. Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

This is your first time doing arenas, right?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

Wow.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah.

[Thomas Dopas]

What's that, like 10,000 capacity at least?

[Ali Siddiq]

I have no idea. I'm still the same way that I was when I was in the clubs. I don't need to know what's out there as long as they out there. Because whatever. Whatever's out there, I'm still performing. So why. Why we like. Like, I'm not in the. If it hold 500 people, if it's 500 out there, that's who's out there. But if it's 200, I don't want to think about the people that's not there. I mean, why. I'm missing 300 people. I'm. Okay, I'm. I'm weird like that.

[Thomas Dopas]

I can see. No, it makes. Makes sense.

[Ali Siddiq]

Whatever's there, if it's. If it hold 10,000 and 10, 000 people, that cool. But if I get there and it's 400 people, am I still gonna perform? Yeah, like, yo, y' all missing y' all a little. 400 people could at least told. But I ain't even gonna say that part. I'm just gonna do my. Start doing my show.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. Do you think? Yeah, that's a good way to look. I don't even want to know who's out there. It's a good way to look at it, man. Just do what you're doing. You only see the first couple rows anyway. You know what I mean? Like, it's just bright as hell up there anyway. Okay, so you have a busy ass. I mean, you're constantly busy. But I was looking at the stats of your YouTube channel and your YouTube specials. They have some of the highest views of any independent comedian standups ever. Yo, that's crazy, dude. Does YouTube give you something for that?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, check. That's right. Huh.

[Thomas Dopas]

So we're not monetized, man. We smoke, we get high. So they don't with us. So I forgot. Yeah, youtubers get money. I forgot, man. My other channel, I have a huge. Never got a dollar.

[Marty O'Neill]

You got the never ending live stream on YouTube.

[Thomas Dopas]

How did you. We do YouTube. And you. We still can't figure out how you did that. You just got like somebody going, hey, it's an hour. Next. Next. It's like a DJ playlist that just never stops.

[Marty O'Neill]

Or is it obs and you're just.

[Thomas Dopas]

Dropping in clips, but then you got it.

[Marty O'Neill]

Then you got a computer that's forever running.

[Thomas Dopas]

Buy it it obs, keep it charged. Never ending. The ever ending live is the smartest I've ever seen anybody do on YouTube because you're constantly showing and shoving it, shoving it into people's faces. And you get on the live tab on top of the actual and it's monetized. If people are dropping monitor. We got to get there one day. All right. All right. We'll get there one day. All right. In the shadows. Your tour is going and you have three, four, three to four specials coming out this year. Filming another one this month. Arena tour, arena show. All right, man, you're doing, you're, you're constant. You're non stop. And how can people buy tickets?

[Ali Siddiq]

Alisa deek.com or go to whatever venue that you're trying to come to. Go to that venue. Do not go on the Internet and not read and miss look at things and end up buying some tickets from Ticket Mr.

[Thomas Dopas]

I didn't even know that was a real thing. Could you not show up to the show? Like, it's just fake stupid. Like, oh yeah. You're so pissed. Your whole night's.

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Marty O'Neill]

That did just kind of happen you at the Super Bowl.

[Thomas Dopas]

Sorry, sorry. It was too good to be true, man. It's okay.

[Ali Siddiq]

You got a sound.

[Thomas Dopas]

Oh, no. My hugging my friend money for tickets. Because he's like, yo, I got this connect. I'm like, wow, it's a rich guy. Yeah, he's not in town take his tickets. I had to say 500 bucks. Like right on the. Right in the front. And 2am of the morning. He's like, hey, man. He's not answering. I'm like, I am in Houston airport, man, going to San Francisco. Couldn't told me yesterday. So I had to buy tickets right then and there. It was not fun. It was a used Honda up borrow.

[Ali Siddiq]

Tickets for the super bowl right Then they'll buy tickets to go somewhere else.

[Thomas Dopas]

I already bought my plane ticket. I was on the way from the rodeo, getting into the airport going, what do you mean he's not answering? I. I'll show up. Why not?

[Ali Siddiq]

Was the tickets that you bought for.

[Thomas Dopas]

The super bowl, they're like 5, 6K. But I had to buy two.

[Ali Siddiq]

You had a good time?

[Thomas Dopas]

Fuck yeah, it was cool. Game was dog shit. But wow, what a cool experience. Game was boring. They came out during the commercial went, try to hype me up like I'm a little kid. Like, you know, a little kid, like, you get to go to sleep early. Yay. Like, the most field goals ever. And they were, like, putting out fireworks. Like, congratulations. The most field goals in the Super Bowl. That's not a stat you want, but they really try to play us. Like, you guys paid for this. You love it. So that's what I. That's what I saw. Super Bowls.

[Ali Siddiq]

All right, defense, man.

[Thomas Dopas]

That's what they did. They came out preemptively. It's like, they don't. Don't tweet about this. That's pretty much what they said. It is what it is. All right, Alisa Deek. And you can watch your YouTube and watch every special right now. Yes, you can, guys, as you know.

[Ali Siddiq]

And not just mine. You can watch Ryan Davis. You can watch Marcus D. Wiley. You can watch. Are you so near.

[Thomas Dopas]

Are you signing people? Are you buying their special so you can play them?

[Ali Siddiq]

No, I'm just distribution.

[Thomas Dopas]

Distribution?

[Ali Siddiq]

Yeah, you know, something like what you do. Distribute dope.

[Thomas Dopas]

Hey, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Dope comedians.

[Thomas Dopas]

All right, well, I mean, that's one thing I forgot to bring up. That's. I don't think I've ever seen anybody do that. And you're putting it right on your. On your YouTube and getting monetization off of it. Smartest play you could do, man. And the community's like, yeah, you gave me a check for my. I already did.

[Marty O'Neill]

And you boosted their whole career.

[Thomas Dopas]

Yeah. And you boost my. It's a win. Win. Dude. Dude. Okay. Good job. That's the first time I ever seen anybody do that, ever. Okay, go watch the YouTube special. You guys know you like stories. You watching this channel? Great stories. Go watch right now, guys. New one just dropped. Mondays. Thank you for being here. Thanks for being here, man.

[Ali Siddiq]

Thank you for having me, Marty.

[Thomas Dopas]

Thank you.

[Marty O'Neill]

Appreciate you guys.

[Thomas Dopas]

Guys, the dope, as usual. Podcast. Have a dope ass day.

[Marty O'Neill]

Perfect. Perfect.