BONUS - Thanksgiving Day Detectives' Parade

Summary

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Down These Mean Streets (Old Time Radio Detectives)

BONUS Episode: Thanksgiving Day Detectives' Parade

Date: November 26, 2025
Host: Mean Streets Podcasts

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Episode Overview

This special Thanksgiving bonus episode is a festive showcase of the greatest radio detectives from the golden age of radio. Listeners are treated to a four-course “feast” of classic detective programs—including Casey, Crime Photographer, Jeff Regan, Investigator, Let George Do It, and Sam Spade—all centered around Thanksgiving, gratitude, and, of course, crime. The episode weaves together humor, suspense, and nostalgia, serving up both iconic mysteries and reflections on the spirit of the holiday.

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Key Segments, Shows, and Discussion Points

1. Thanksgiving Introductions & Era Reflections

00:00 – 04:27

• The episode opens with Sam Spade's iconic “Crime is a sucker's road” monologue followed by introductions to legendary detectives Philip Marlowe, The Saint, Johnny Dollar, and Sam Spade.
• The host offers insight into the postwar context of these shows, mixing vintage ads for household staples (glass containers, cheese, etc.) with advice to families facing inflation and the high cost of living.
• Notable Quote:
  "Remember that all members of a family must pull together at a time like this. So do your share." — Sam Spade / narrator, [02:57]

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2. Casey, Crime Photographer – “After Turkey, The Bill”

04:28 – 33:47

• The first feature is a Thanksgiving-themed episode of Casey, Crime Photographer, focusing on a restaurant robbery.

• Characters discuss modest holiday dinners, relationships, jealousy, and the specter of petty crime against the backdrop of a “medium-priced uptown restaurant.”

• The episode cleverly interlaces the Thanksgiving dinner setting with a story of mistaken guilt, cousin rivalry, and parental intervention, culminating in the real culprit being discovered.

• Memorable Moment:
  Effie and Casey humorously argue over who ought to pay the bill for their “crummy joint” Thanksgiving meal.
  "We hope you appreciate our sacrifice, Ethelbert." — Casey, [10:08]
  "To prove your gratitude, Ethelbert, you can pay for our dinners." — Effie, [10:16]

• Key Plot Point:
  A robbery is committed and a flashy blue overcoat and grease-stained shoes are critical clues. Jealousy between cousins leads to a double frame-up, but Casey susses out the real criminal: the girlfriend’s father.

• Notable Quote:
  "You see, I know the guilty boy, Mr. Casey. And she's loved Joe ever since they were children. No Joe. I found his grease stained shoes hidden in the cellar... Let's get him. Take him to the cops." — Mr. Newcomb, [27:54]

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3. Believe It or Not Interlude & Thanksgiving Fun Facts

33:47 – 35:14

• A “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” segment offers quirky Thanksgiving historical trivia, including the origin of the Thanksgiving “feast” and fast in 1631, and President Lincoln’s formalization of Thanksgiving.
• Memorable Moment:
  The host notes:
  "Until the year 1631, the stern pilgrims celebrated their Thanksgiving Day by rigorously abstaining from food and drink…" — Jeff Regan, [34:22]

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4. Jeff Regan, Investigator – “The Pilgrim’s Progress”

35:14 – 65:04

• Set in California, Jeff Regan is sent to retrieve a Thanksgiving turkey for his boss and is swept into a madcap masquerade of pilgrims, blunderbusses, and murder at the “Hendricks” ranch.

• The show pokes fun at holiday excess, Los Angeles quirks, and hardboiled conventions, all while weaving a murder mystery tied to a jewel heist and a fake “Plymouth Rock.”

• Notable Quotes:
  "You just haven't got the Mayflower spirit—you drank it all, this is silent." — “Miles Standish,” [39:27]
  "Thanksgiving's not for a week—come on, get off it.” — Regan, [39:36]

• Memorable Run:
  The subplot involves a turkey, a diamond called “Plymouth Rock,” several murders, and a satirical reimagining of the “first Thanksgiving.”

• Highlight:
  The episode lampoons advertising pressures (Anchor Glass, Tony Home Permanent), culminating in Regan reflecting on holiday madness and the flowing of “dizzying love and greed.”

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5. Casey, Crime Photographer (Encore) – “Thanksgiving Safecracker”

65:14 – 92:19

• Another Casey adventure, this time focusing on Biff Connors, a reformed safecracker, who’s being strong-armed by professional crooks into returning to crime.

• The plot unfolds across blue-collar bars, busy Thanksgiving streets, and ultimately an elaborate sting at a corrupt blackmailer’s mansion.

• Notable Quotes:
  "Are you a busy professional woman? A teacher? A nurse, perhaps? Well, Tony, home permanent is a blessing for busy women like you..." — vintage ad, [68:30]
  "Casey brought a very strong 150-foot steel cable out there, Ethelbert...and the only reason Biff Connors wasn't knocked through the windshield like the others was 'cause he braced himself. Like Casey told him." — Effie, [90:39]

• Memorable Moment:
  Casey rigs a getaway car with a steel cable, taking a cue from the movies, to foil the villainous “Nick Reynolds” and exonerate Biff, mixing action with lighthearted Thanksgiving banter.

• Coda:
  Despite missing their fancy dinner at the Ritz, Casey and Anne enjoy a late night of cold turkey, having “accomplished something worthwhile” on Thanksgiving, [89:47]

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6. Let George Do It – "Cause for Thanksgiving"

92:19 – 127:08

• George Valentine investigates a mute boy found wandering the docks, unraveling a waterfront murder and a case of international smuggling.

• The episode deftly balances suspense with the pathos of a homeless child on Thanksgiving, the pressures facing immigrant communities, and the stakes of honesty.

• Notable Exchanges:
  "It's Thanksgiving. I mean, a kid belongs in somebody's home on Thanksgiving. Well, are you gonna just sit there, Valentine?" — Riley, [100:16]

  "You mean it was to be smuggled out of the country?"
  "That's right. The kid… was a part of it... Nobody can stop him. All over the world, up and down like monkeys. Perfect, isn't it?"* — George & Brooksie, [120:03]

• Resolution:
  George saves the boy, exposes the criminals, and shares a turkey dinner with a new “pilgrim” in the truest spirit of Thanksgiving.

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7. Satirical Interlude – “Take an Indian to Lunch This Week”

127:08 – 129:37

• This tongue-in-cheek musical satirizes the “melting pot” mythology of Thanksgiving, parodying 1960s attempts at inclusion (and exclusion) with lines like:
  “Take an Indian to lunch this week... Let him know he's almost as good as we.” — parody lyrics, [127:50]

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8. Sam Spade – "The Terrified Turkey Caper"

129:38 – 156:45

• Sam Spade is hired by “Tom Turkey,” an anxious man convinced someone is trying to kill him before Thanksgiving. Spade’s investigation uncovers insurance fraud, faked suicides, a chain of murders, a would-be blunderbuss-wielding pilgrim, and a greedy attorney named Leander Loose.
• Notable Scenes:
  • Spade’s skeptical banter with Tom Turkey, who insists:
    "My name is Tom Turkey and they're going to kill me for Thanksgiving." — Tom Turkey, [134:08]
  • A wild rescue at the Helping Hand Mission, involving Spade, pilgrims, and Thanksgiving meals for the poor.
  • The revelation that the “seven year” statute for pronouncing someone legally dead is at the heart of the insurance scam.
• Closing:
  Spade delivers his report with customary wit, Effie gets a historical blunderbuss as a gift, and they plan to enjoy cold turkey at her mother’s house.
  "Every giblet in place and not a feather ruffled." — Sam Spade, [130:01]

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9. Closing Messages & Anti-Prejudice Appeal

156:45 – end

• Vincent Price delivers an earnest closing message about the dangers of prejudice, urging listeners to “judge our neighbors by the character of their lives alone and not on the basis of their religion or origin.”

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Notable Quotes and Timestamps

• Crime is a Sucker’s Road:
  "Crime is a sucker's road, and those who travel it wind up in the gutter, the prison, or the grave." — Sam Spade, [00:00]

• On Thanksgiving’s Purpose:
  "Thanksgiving Day is a time for family reunions, feasting and fun. But through all the gaiety, there runs a deep note of real thanksgiving for blessings past and present." — Casey, [12:49]

• On Sacrifice:
  "Pass the salt. Also honest, kind, and steadfast... We're really understating our sterling qualities." — Casey and Effie, [10:14]

• On Love and Dizzying Deeds:
  "See what some guys will do for love. As my sister Edna says, 'If love didn't make the world go round, there wouldn't be so much dizziness.'" — Casey, [31:13]

• On the Spirit of Thanksgiving:
  "I've had a swell day, a real day for Thanksgiving, because we accomplished something worthwhile." — Anne Williams, [89:52]

• Social Satire:
  "Take an Indian to lunch this week... Let him know he's almost as good as we." — Satirical song, [127:50]

• Closing Anti-Prejudice Appeal:
  "Let's judge our neighbors by the character of their lives alone and not on the basis of their religion or origin." — Vincent Price, [156:45]

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Episode Tone and Style

The tone shifts from wry, nostalgic, and slightly arch (as the host and ads set the scene for 1940s/50s radio) to outright comedic, then moving as the various dramas and resolutions unfold. Throughout, the parade of famous sleuths is handled with affectionate humor, camp holiday warmth, and a clear reverence for the storytelling craft of golden age radio.

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For Newcomers and Old Time Radio Fans

This “Thanksgiving Detectives' Parade” serves as both a master class in classic radio drama and a loving tribute to the resilience and quirks of both detectives and ordinary people during the holidays. Each segment stands alone, but together, they offer a cornucopia of suspense, laughter, and reminders of the importance of integrity, gratitude, and community.

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Listen for:

• Genre-defining hardboiled banter and satirical holiday moments
• Clever detective work sharpened by the “high cost of living”
• Deeply human stories of redemption, family, and second chances on Thanksgiving
• A rare chance to hear iconic characters gathered together with the holiday spirit (and more than a little friendly ribbing)

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Happy Thanksgiving from Down These Mean Streets!

Transcript

[Sam Spade]

Get this and get it straight. Crime is a sucker's road and those who travel it wind up in the gut of the prison or the grave. The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective the Adventures of the Saint Starring Vincent Price Bob Bailey in the exciting Adventures of the man with the action packed expense Account America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, Yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Recently, in a big eastern city, a group of trained men and women called on thousands of housewives and and asked this simple question. What kind of container do you prefer for the food you buy? An overwhelming majority of housewives said they prefer to buy food packed in glass. Among them were a great many mothers of small children. And by a ratio of more than eight to one, these mothers said they insisted on prepared baby foods packed in glass. They gave many reasons, as you might expect, but here are the three reasons mentioned most frequently. First, glass lets you see what you buy before you buy it. Second, you can heat, serve and store leftover portions of prepared baby food in the same glass container. And third, these young mothers agreed that sterilized glass containers are cleaner and more sanitary. You can buy an increasing number of the better brands of food packed in glass. And all of the better brands of prepared baby food come to you in Anchor glass containers sealed with Tampa proof Anchor vacuum caps, both products of Anchor Hawking. There's a common phrase that's being kicked around in your house and mine more and more every day, and that is high cost of living. Sound familiar? I'll bet it does. I'm sure you've heard Mother and Dad mention it more often than once, and you will undoubtedly hear it many more times as the days go by. Now, just in case you're hazy on exactly what it means, let me give you a rough idea. It means that the cost of your clothes and food has gone up to a point where the family budget has become somewhat strained. Well, that's one of those things. And you can't be expected to increase the family income. But there are some things you can do to help. For instance, take better care of your clothes when you come home from school. Change into old clothes before you go out to play. Take care of your health because doctors and medicines are expensive. Eat well, but don't waste. Take your full share, but eat all you take. Try not to ask mother and dad to buy you things you don't actually need. Make the best of the most of what you've got. Try to be more than usually Careful of your school equipment such as paper, pencils and so forth. Make them last and go as far as you possibly can. Remember that all members of a family must pull together at a time like this. So do your share. Looking for a good food buy? Then get Velveeta Kraft's famous pasteurized processed cheese food. Velveeta is one of the best food buys you can make because Velveeta is not only delicious, but it's nourishing too. And you can use Velveeta so many ways in snacks, sandwiches and for a variety of economical hot main dishes. Melt Velveeta for a smooth golden cheese sauce to extend leftovers or to use a new made dishes. Make it your handy helper for all kinds of money saving hot meals. Get it tomorrow. Your best buy in cheese food Velveeta made only by craft. I dedicate this program to the fight against crime. Not merely crimes of violence and crimes of dishonesty, but crimes of intolerance, discrimination and bad citizenship. Crimes against America. The Anchor Hawking Glass Corporation brings you crime photographer.

[Effie]

Say Casey, you think they'll ever put.

[Sam Spade]

My statue in the hall of fame? What are you famous for, Ethelbert? For 27 straight I always got the same part of the turkey. That's some kind of a record, ain't it? Well, because you consistently get it in the neck that might make you notorious, but not really famous. No, no, Ethelbert, you know, you have to do something really big, you know, something important to deserve a famous name. Like what? Well, like Anchor Hawking, the most famous name in Gl. Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is Tony Marvin. Every week at this time, the Anchor Hawking Glass Corporation of Lancaster, Ohio and its more than 10,000 employees bring you another adventure of Casey, Crime photographer, ace cameraman who covers the crime news of a great city. Written by Alonzo Dean Cole. Our adventure for tonight after turkey, the bill, 7:00 clock in the evening. A medium priced uptown restaurant known as Patrakis Olympian. At a table for two, a plashly dressed young man pushes aside his empty plate and says to the pretty girl who sits opposite, hey, that turkey wasn't half bad.

[Effie]

You didn't leave much of it.

[Sam Spade]

Neither did you. Should I order dessert now? Uh huh. Hey waiter. Gus. Okay Keith, what do you want now? Joe, we're ready for the plum pudding now.

[Effie]

Poo.

[Sam Spade]

Plums, pudding. That's what you want too, isn't it Lottie? Yes.

[Effie]

And coffee.

[Sam Spade]

Same here. Okay Keith, I don't know why you won't let me do anything for you in a classy way. Lottie, I asked you out for a Thanksgiving spread, and you made me bring you to a cheap place like this.

[Effie]

Joe, you can't afford to throw your money away.

[Sam Spade]

How do you know what I can afford? I may not have as good a job as my cousin Bird yet, but that doesn't mean I.

[Effie]

What's Ferd got to do with it?

[Sam Spade]

He's got plenty to do with it. He didn't have to work today. You'd be out with him now instead of me.

[Effie]

I know Bird isn't working tonight, Joe. He came home before we left there. I could have had dinner with him if I'd wanted. Yeah. Oh, don't be like that, please.

[Sam Spade]

Why shouldn't I be? While I was in. While I was away, you and him became awful good friends.

[Effie]

We were always friends, the three of us. We grew up on the same block.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, but while I was away, he moved into your old man's rooming house so we could be closer friends.

[Effie]

Oh, don't start that again. Tonight. We're out for a pleasant evening. And it has been pleasant so far. Please, Joe.

[Sam Spade]

All right. Comes out of zer. Two plums of pudding and coffee. You know, when you go out with me, Luddy, you're gonna get class. Whether you think I can afford it or not. I'm gonna take you to Dance Land. I'm gonna buy you a whole roll of tickets. Best you'd get out of that tightwad fur it as a soda in a movie. All right, it's all out, guys. For me to check with him. You said it, Joe.

[Effie]

All right, Joe. Since you won't drop the subject, we'll talk about birds. Well, he wants me to marry him.

[Sam Spade]

Figured that from that dirty double crosser.

[Effie]

He isn't a double crosser.

[Sam Spade]

He knows I've been going with you since we were kids. That I've always been crazy about you. And while I was taking that bum rap on the reformist.

[Effie]

You didn't take a bum rap, Joe. You asked for what you got.

[Sam Spade]

All right, so the cops had the goods on me. That gave Bird no right.

[Effie]

It gave me a right to do a lot of thinking.

[Sam Spade]

So you decided a sneaky yellow drip like my cousin is a better bet than me?

[Effie]

I don't think Bird is sneaky or yellow.

[Sam Spade]

You don't? No.

[Effie]

And I don't think you're a criminal.

[Sam Spade]

It's nice of you to say that.

[Effie]

I'm not being nice. I'm saying what I believe. If you make me sure you've learned your lesson.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah.

[Effie]

You won't have to worry about me liking Furder or anyone. There's never really been anybody but you, Jo. Only I've got to be sure.

[Sam Spade]

How do I make you sure, Lottie?

[Effie]

Just show me and dad that you're steady, that's all.

[Sam Spade]

I've been showing you that since I came back. Didn't I get a job right away?

[Effie]

Yes, Joe, but I don't see how you can afford those two new suits and that overcoat with what you're making.

[Sam Spade]

Oh. Oh, I guess Ferd can buy clothes or take you out. And it's okay, isn't it? He's never had trouble with a cop. But the minute I spend an extra buck, you and your old man figure I've glommed it somewhere. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Your old man especially hates my insides.

[Effie]

He don't want you to have anything.

[Sam Spade]

To do with me.

[Effie]

If dad hated you, he wouldn't let you stay at our rooming house.

[Sam Spade]

He rents rooms and I pay for the one I rent. That's business. And to ease your mind about the extra dough I spent, Lottie, I'm a lucky guy with dice and a good pool player. Here's your check, kid. Thanks, Gus. Pay you so we can get out of here. We're going to dance land.

[Effie]

What?

[Sam Spade]

Joe, I haven't got my wallet.

[Effie]

Oh, you've lost your money.

[Sam Spade]

I don't know. Maybe I left at home.

[Effie]

Phone dad. He'll look in your room.

[Sam Spade]

Well, if he found it, I'd have to go there, for it's only a few blocks.

[Effie]

You stay here, Lottie, while I go.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, you. You don't have to leave the lady here, kid. You're an old customer. I know. You come back and pay. Well, thanks, Gus, but I can make better time alone. Hand me overcoat. Even that racket's the boo. Sure, sure. Oh, Issa Fenticoat. Nice and bright with red stripes. You got a class, kid. Yeah, but right now I got no dough. I'll come back as soon as I can, Lottie.

[Effie]

I hope you find your money.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, I hope so too. And how. Gee, Casey, it's nice of you and Ms. Williams to have Thanksgiving dinner here in the Blue Note with me.

[Effie]

Oh, we're nice people, Ethelbert.

[Sam Spade]

The very best. True. Warm hearted and generous to a fault. Pass the salt.

[Effie]

Also honest, kind and steadfast. Here's the salt and pepper.

[Sam Spade]

You know, we're really understating our sterling qualities. And we've risen to the heights of magnanimity. Whatever that Is by chewing Thanksgiving turkey in this crummy joint we see every day simply because our little pal here had to work could only get away from his bartending long enough to grab a meal on the house. We hope you appreciate our sacrifice, Ethelbert. Oh, I do. Good. Pardon my reach for the Tabasco to prove your gratitude. Ethelbert, you can pay for our dinners. Yeah, well, Tabasco any, huh?

[Effie]

Thanks. Say, you've made a splendid suggestion, Casey. Paying our bill will relieve Ethelbert of a small part of his obligation for our company.

[Sam Spade]

Say, come to think of it, you two are working today yourselves. You didn't have time to get a full meal any further away from your office than this crummy joint.

[Effie]

Ethelbert, you impugn our motive. He destroys my faith in human nature.

[Sam Spade]

Yes, the spirit of the day is entirely lost upon this lug, Casey. If you'd pay me what you already owe this crummy joint, I'd be only too happy to buy you dinner. Get it, Walter. This guy's too wise for us, Annie, huh?

[Effie]

I'm afraid so, Casey.

[Sam Spade]

Casey. Oh, yeah, Walter, you want in the bar phone? You sit it down. Oh, nuts. I'm only just finished my turkey.

[Effie]

No, this means no dessert, Casey.

[Sam Spade]

I'll see what Burke wants.

[Effie]

Well, stall him off if you can.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, I'll do my best, Annie. Hello, Grace. Hello, Casey speaking. Look, Burke, we haven't finished our dinner yet. Oh, all right, all right. Where do I get my pencil at? Corner of Whitestone and Evans. Well, what happened there? What is that all for? A run of the mill story like that, we gotta leave our dessert. Well, okay, Burke. All right, goodbye. Why I stick to this newspaper racket, I don't know.

[Effie]

What was it, Kate?

[Sam Spade]

Look, we gotta get out to Whitestone and Evans and some mug just held up a filling station there and got away with a couple of hundred.

[Effie]

Did he shoot anyone?

[Sam Spade]

No, no, it's one of those inside page fillers. Burke says news is light and we got to cover it.

[Effie]

All right, where is Whitestone and Evans?

[Sam Spade]

Way uptown, not far from Petrakis Olympian Restaurant. You know, we've eaten there a couple of times.

[Effie]

Yeah, I remember. Hi. Any description of the hold up guy?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, he wore a flashy blue overcoat with red stripes. See you later, pal.

[Effie]

So long, Ethelbert. So long.

[Sam Spade]

Say, wait, who's gonna pay for this crummy joint? Our story will continue in just a moment. In mansion or cottage, in city or town, Thanksgiving Day is a time for family reunions, feasting and fun. But through all the gaiety, there runs a deep note of real thanksgiving for blessings past and present. There's a tacit recognition that a better fed nation is a stronger, happier nation. And one of the ways in which the American way has made its greatest progress is in the production, preparation and distribution of food. Now take the matter of delivering food alone. The great organizations who process and ship us our better foods know that flavor, purity and freshness are best preserved by clean, sanitary glass. And that's why as you look around the shelves of your food stores, the you see that so many famous brands are brought to you in gleaming protective containers made of glass. Containers that preserve and safeguard flavor and taste while they permit you to see in advance exactly what you're buying. It's noteworthy that many of the leading brands of food of all kinds come to you in anchor glass containers sealed with tamper proof anchor caps. Products of anchor hocking, the most famous name in class. Here's what happened, Ms. Williams. I'm working this station, see. I'm here in the office when this holdup guy opens the door and says, give me a doll.

[Effie]

He had a gun, of course.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, sure, he had a gun. The time was about a quarter past seven. What did you notice about the guy aside from his flashy overcoat? Well, he wore his hat pulled down over his eyes and a handkerchief was tied around the lower part of his face. Also, he worked fast.

[Effie]

What'd he do?

[Sam Spade]

Well, he told me to get into the gent restroom there and to keep quiet. He locked the door on me and I heard him open up the money drawer there. And then I heard him leave the joint. I started pounding on the door and after a while I managed to bust out. That was about quarter to eight. And then I phoned the cop. You mind if I shoot a picture of that busted door, sergeant? Go ahead, Casey. Thanks. You want a picture of me too, won't you, Mr. Casey? Huh? Oh, sure, yeah. The door. And you? I'll shoot the door first. It's gonna give me old lady a big kick to see me written up on a paper. Hey, was this big puddle of grease in front of this door, Jones, when the hold up guy locks you in? Oh, yeah, yeah, I spilled it there earlier and I had enough time to clean it up. Now. The mug must have stepped in it. Casey, along with the description of his flashy coat I've sent out, I included instructions to look for a guy with dirty grease stains on his shoes. Well, the two things together ought to nail him, sir. Yeah, I told the sergeant, here's something else that Ought to nail a guy. What's that? Well, one of the bills he stole out of the money drawer was an old 20 that had been torn in two and kind of stuck together with scotch tape. I took it in just before the robbery, so I remember. It looks like you cops have plenty to work on, Sarge. Yeah, well, we got all there is. Annie. Let's blow out of here, get back to Blue Note, get some plum pudding and coffee.

[Effie]

Aha. Come on.

[Sam Spade]

Hey, ain't you gonna take my picture, Bryce? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll kind of stand here by the empty cash drawer and point my finger at it. Yeah, that'll be original. A standard point, pal. Go ahead.

[Effie]

Great.

[Sam Spade]

All set. Now shoot your. Hey, Gus, I'm getting a picture took. Don't walk in front of the camera. I had just hear what happened to you about that guy in the blue overcoat. Which hold you up. Well, I'll tell you all about that later, Gus, soon as I get my picture. No, no. I tell you and those cop about it. Now you tell. Who are you? Oh, I. I am Gus Nicopolis. I am waiting Patrakis Olympian Restaurant three blocks from here. And I know who is the kid who robbed my good friend Jones. You know? Yeah, I know. As soon as I am told the news about that fancy overcoat. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I tell you cops everything. Even where to find this hollow kid. He tell me he is going with his girl to dance land. You got no right to pull me off that dance floor, copper.

[Effie]

Don't believe this waiter Sergeant Joe hasn't held up anybody.

[Sam Spade]

We're going to see about that. Close the door, will you, kz? Okay, Serge. Now, this overcoat we got from the check room, it's yours, isn't it, Bowers? Yeah, that's my coat. And you, Jones, say the guy who stuck you up wore a coat just like it. It's the same coat, Sergeant. You're not the same. I bought this blanket. Had a couple of dozen just like it. Now take it easy, kid. If your story's okay, we'll check on everyone who owns a coat like this. I'm gonna search you. While I'm at it, you can tell us what you did after leaving Petraka's restaurant. After you couldn't find your wallet, I mean. I went straight to my room and house. I looked for my dough. Finally I found it in the dresser drawer. Then I came straight back to Petraka's. Velotti. That's Ms. Newcombe here. The do's in that wallet you just took out of my pocket. It's about 40 bucks. And it's mine. I didn't steal it. Hey, is that torn 20 in the wallet, Sergeant? No, Jones. Torn 20. I guess he hasn't got a gun on him either, sir. He's clean, Casey. So are his shoes. Grease would show up plain on those light T. He may have changed shoes and hidden a few things. Yeah. How far is your rooming house from that filling station, kid?

[Effie]

Two blocks away down Evan Street. My father runs it.

[Sam Spade]

How long did Joe leave you in Patrakas while he was finding his money?

[Effie]

I didn't time it.

[Sam Spade]

It wasn't more than 15 minutes. Maybe a half an hour. So what? So you had plenty of time to stick up Jones and go to your room before you came back to Protragon.

[Effie]

All right, if that's the way you.

[Sam Spade]

Dope it, copper, search my room. I'm gonna do that little thing, young fella. All of you, let's go. Lottie, why have you and Joe come home with all these people and these policemen?

[Effie]

Everything's all right, dad. They made a mistake about Joe, but it's going to be all right.

[Sam Spade]

A mistake about Joe? A big mistake. Mr. Newcombe, I don't understand. I'm Sergeant Healy, Fifth Detective District. There was a stick up a few blocks from here tonight, and Joe Bowers here is under suspicion. A stick up Joe?

[Effie]

He didn't do it, Dad. I know he didn't.

[Sam Spade]

You were with him, Lottie. You must know your daughter wasn't with him for a long half hour. Mr. Newcomb, I haven't taken time to get a search warrant, so I'd like your permission to go over Joe's room. Give him a go ahead. I have. They'll find nothing to tie me up with any heist job. All right with you, sir? Oh, yes, sir. Of course. Thanks. Take me to your room, Bowers. Come on. Everybody else stay here with this uniformed officer. Ms. Williams and I'd like to go with you and Joe, Sarge. Okay, Casey.

[Effie]

Oh, thanks, Sarge.

[Sam Spade]

My room's on the next floor. It's right up those stairs. Lead the way, kid. And don't try anything tricky. Why should I try anything? What you got on me is that a stick up? Guy wore an overcoat like mine, and that's all you're gonna get. There's the door in my room, copper. Open it. Make yourself at home. Give me your key. The door isn't locked. I never bother. Hmm. I'll turn on the lights. I do your Stuff I will. You won't find anything locked up here. Cause I got nothing worth stealing and nothing to hide. Now, if you were going to work in my cousin's room across the hall, you'd need a fistful of keys. He's one of those careful, secretive guys. You got a cousin living across the hall? Yeah, his name's Ferd. A Ferdinand. And is he a crumb. I figured you don't like him. I like him about as much as he likes me. Maybe more. But if he's been making a play for my girl, he isn't getting anywhere. How you doing, copper? You see anything of the dough I'm supposed to have stolen or the gat you think I use in that sticker? Not yet, kid, and you won't. I'm 100% in the clear. Oh, yeah? How did this get under your carpet?

[Effie]

What, Casey?

[Sam Spade]

A torn twenty dollar bill stuck together with scotch teeth. I never saw that bill before. And I think Jones will identify it as the one taking Ray's cash drawer. Wait a minute. There's more dough under this rug, Sarge. A couple of hundred bucks at least. Nice spot of Jacob. I don't know how it got there. I didn't pull that sticker. That's a comedy, Joe. This money nails you. This is a frame up, I tell you. It's a crap. Where'd you hide your gun? I never had a gun. I swear. I'm clean, kid. Where's the gun? Wait a minute. Will you give me a break? Let me think.

[Effie]

Let me think a minute.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, yeah. There's just one mug will pull a thing like this. And if you're right, guys, you won't let him get away with it. Question Ferd. Sergeant, question. My cousin Ferd. His room's right across the hall. Might be a good idea, Sergeant. Okay, let's go over. That's the room. Yes, I. I'd like to talk to you a minute. This is the police. Just a second.

[Effie]

Just starting. Get ready for bed.

[Sam Spade]

I'm Detective Sergeant Healy, young man. This is Ms. Williams and Mr. Casey. All right.

[Effie]

Hello there.

[Sam Spade]

What do you want? Let me close this door. Your cousin Joe here has made some accusations against you that it's my duty to investigate.

[Effie]

Oh, he has, has he?

[Sam Spade]

Do you own an overcoat like Joe's here? Blue with red stripes. An overcoat like that, have you ever worn one? I wouldn't wear a zeit blanket like that if you paid me.

[Effie]

You say yes, I say.

[Sam Spade]

Mind if I look around your room? Why?

[Effie]

First, someone wearing an overcoat like Joe has held up the Whitestone filling station tonight.

[Sam Spade]

What? You know where I bought this coat, Ferd? I think you got one just like it on the qt. I think you slipped my wallet out.

[Effie]

Of my pocket just before I left.

[Sam Spade]

Here with Lottie tonight so I'd have to leave her and look for it. You were watching the rest of them.

[Effie]

When I left it.

[Sam Spade]

You went to that building. Why, are you crazy, Sergeant, you can't believe it. Maybe I don't. But I want to search your room.

[Effie]

Wait a minute.

[Sam Spade]

Huh? Have you got a search warrant? No.

[Effie]

Hey, get out of here.

[Sam Spade]

Say, I know I write.

[Effie]

Unlike a certain relative of mine, I've got a clean record.

[Sam Spade]

Who are you calling a loud? You, Joe. Why?

[Effie]

I'll knock.

[Sam Spade]

Pat it, both of you. So you don't want me to search your room. Hey, young fella, you heard me before.

[Effie]

Sergeant.

[Sam Spade]

Hey, pal, wait a minute. You're taking the wrong attitude. You got nothing to hide. This isn't the way to show it. He's got a good reason for saying you can't search, and I'm gonna prove it.

[Effie]

He better than Claude. Joe, take me if you can. I'll make you your.

[Sam Spade]

Let me go, Joe. I'll get a warrant. I don't need a warrant. Sarge, look there. What? In the back of his closet, covered with other clothes. Oh, an overcoat like yours, just like mine. And in his pocket, there's a gun. I never saw that coat before.

[Effie]

Never saw that gun.

[Sam Spade]

Well, somebody did. Come on. I'm taking a boast to headquarters.

[Effie]

I don't know how that overcoat got my closet. Sergeant, I swear I never saw it or that gun before.

[Sam Spade]

So you've been saying for it. Both of you get into this. You did this to me, Joe. You already got wise to your frame, up your louse. I threw it right back at you. We'll continue our discussion at the station house. Of course, you'll only hold me long enough to get my testimony. I'll be back home in an hour or so, maybe. You and Ms. Williams tagging along after us, Casey? No, Sarge. I may give you a pause later, though.

[Effie]

We still have our Thanksgiving dinner to finish.

[Sam Spade]

Why don't you two get jobs that won't make you work on holidays? Why don't you?

[Effie]

You mean like Captain Logan?

[Sam Spade]

I've been thinking about it for the last 25 years. Good night.

[Effie]

Night, Dr. Neely. Come on. Let's get into our car, Casey, and get our stuff to the pages.

[Sam Spade]

I'm going back to that rooming.

[Effie]

House.

[Sam Spade]

Why are you convinced that Cousin Bird framed Cousin Joe?

[Effie]

Well, his attempt to prevent a search.

[Sam Spade]

Of his room didn't look very good, Annie. I'm just thinking.

[Effie]

Well, Joe found that overcoat with what might be called surprising ease. It's hard to believe that Joe would invite his own arrest in order to frame his cousin.

[Sam Spade]

Why, one little slip framer, whoever he is, did make a slip, Annie. His plan didn't anticipate a grease puddle. And he had to get rid of a pair of shoes that may walk back and kick him.

[Effie]

None of the shoes in Joe's room or in Bert's had any grease stains on them.

[Sam Spade]

No, Sergeant Healy hasn't forgotten those missing shoes. And he'll be back pretty soon to really look for them. Well, I'm gonna start looking right now. Ring Newcomb's bell.

[Effie]

Sometimes I wish your snooping instincts were more restrained, Casey. I'd like a cup of coffee now and Pop.

[Sam Spade]

Hi, Mr. Newcomb. Mr. Casey. Yes. May we come in? Of course. But I. We didn't go with Sergeant Healy and his prisoners. Wanted to ask, how's your daughter? Now, she wasn't taking this thing very well when we left. Oh, she feels terrible about it, Ms. Williams. Perhaps a woman can talk to her better than I can. Will you try to convince her that. That everything will come out all right?

[Effie]

I'll gladly try, Mr. Newcombe.

[Sam Spade]

She's in our private living room. Go on and talk to her alone, Annie. I'll stay here.

[Effie]

All right.

[Sam Spade]

It breaks my heart to see my girl crying, Mr. Casey. She's all I have. She blames herself for what has happened. It isn't her fault that two young fools became so infatuated with her. I knew they hated each other, but I never anticipated anything like this. No, guess not. Of course, you had some reason for coming back here, Mr. Casey. Yes, I came back to ask your permission. Yes, I want permission to ask a few personal questions between ourselves and off the record.

[Effie]

Very well.

[Sam Spade]

You haven't wanted Joe for a son in law, have you? In my place, would you? The boy has served a reformatory sentence that, according to my observation, has failed to steady him or improve his sense of values. Ferd has been Joe's opposite, I imagine. He always seems so. Lottie strikes me as a pretty sensible girl, Mr. Newcombe. Unless one of those fellows confesses he framed the other or it can be definitely proven she'll doubt both of them too much to marry either one of them. Yes, I think that's so. And as there'll be no confession or definite proof things should work out exactly as you planned. As I planned? You're the guy behind this double frame up, Mr. Keith. You didn't think I'd be back, did you? You shouldn't have changed back into those comfortable old shoes after Sergeant Healy left here. You did a lousy job of cleaning off that grease. But you held up that filling station and frame both the boys to keep your daughter from marrying either one of them. I was very foolish, wasn't I? Yes, I think so. Shall I call Sergeant Healy? All right, you can call Sergeant Healy. Mr. Casey, I'm ready to confess. Wait a minute. Wait. Let me take a close look at those shoes. What? The pool of grease in that filling station you heard us talk about wasn't deep enough to reach far above the soles of a shoe. Hey, you greased those shoes yourself. You spread it on so thick it covers the toes and heels. I didn't spread it on.

[Effie]

Hal.

[Sam Spade]

You're a beautiful liar and I'm a beautiful dope. You greased those shoes and put them on knowing the cops had come back and spot him. You were willing to take the wrath because your kid is in love with one of those punks. You can prove that? Nobody can. And when I confess, that's all that's needed. You forget. The police lab will compare the grease on these shoes with a filling station grease and it won't be the same. And then Sergeant Healy will go right back to work on Joe and Ferd. The police laboratory can tell? Yes, definitely, Mr. Newcomb. But if it couldn't, don't you think your confession would be much harder for your daughter to take than the loss of a little rat she. She cares for? But I. I couldn't bear to see her cry anymore. All I could think of to do was what I tried. You see, I know the guilty boy, Mr. Casey. And she's loved Joe ever since they were children. No Joe. I found his grease stained shoes hidden in the cellar. Tonight his taste in shoes is like his taste in overcoats. So I could make no mistake. Let's get him. Take him to the cops. Later. Mr. Newcomb, your daughter's going to realize that the low down she'll get on Joe. Tonight is a cause for real Thanksgiving. We'll join the crowd at the Blue Note in just a moment. This is Harry Marvel to remind you how important the new Anchor glass one way no deposit bottle is to your enjoyment of ale and beer. It's a custom made container made just for you. No one has used it before. And no one ever will use it again. When you're through with it, you dispose of it as you would any other food container. There's no deposit, no fuss or bother. And the new Anchor Glass One Way bottle assures you of sparkling ale and beer without cloudiness and with no foreign flavor or aroma. Beer that's truly brewery bright. Most of the brewers of New England and those who ship ale and beer into New England have adopted this bottle for your protection and added convenience. For the Anchor Glass One Way bottle not only costs the brewer less than any other type of single trip container, but it also gives you much more for your money. So here's a good rule. When buying ale and beer, always demand a glass bottle. And for extra convenience, demand your favorite brand in the new Anchor Glass One Way no Deposit bottle, a product of Anchor Hockey, the most famous name in glass. So the shoes fit, Joe and he had to wear them, huh, Katie? They pinched so tight he cracked wide open. Ethelbert. He admitted planting a duplicate of his coat in Ferd's closet. Everything. If his scheme had worked, Lottie would never have spoke to Bird again and she'd have married Joe.

[Effie]

That was Joe's idea, Ethelbert. But it worked out in reverse. Lottie sank into Ferd's manly arms when she heard the lowdown and she seemed very comfortable.

[Sam Spade]

See what some guys will do for love. As my sister Edna says, quote, if love didn't make the world go round, there wouldn't be so much dizziness, unquote.

[Effie]

Or so much niceness.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, a grand guy. Lottie's old man. Hey, Annie. What's the matter with us? We got plum pudding and coffee still coming to us. How about it, Ethelbert? Huh?

[Effie]

Oh, it's about time.

[Sam Spade]

What's so funny?

[Effie]

There isn't any more.

[Sam Spade]

Crime Photographer starring Stance Cotsworth as Casey is brought to you each Thursday by the Anchor Hawking Glass Corporation, makers of Fire King oven glass, Anchor Glass containers, Anchor caps and closures, all products of Anchor Hawking, the most famous name in glass. Prime Photographer is directed by John Deetz. The original music is by Archie Blyer and The program features Ms. Jan Miner as Anne and John Gibson as Ethelbert. Herman Jitterson is the Blue Note piano. If civilization is to survive, we must reaffirm our religious faith. It's up to each of us. Do your part by supporting and attending your church or synagogue. This is Tony Marvin saying good night for the Anchor Hawking Glass Corporation of Lancaster, Ohio, with offices in all principal cities of the United States and Canada. This is dbs to columbia broadcasting system. Truth is stranger than fiction.

[Jeff Regan]

And this is the truth.

[Sam Spade]

This is rit. Believe it or not, The last bottle of the before Prohibition brew of a famous Milwaukee brewer was prized so highly that being the last of its kind, the manufacturer had it insured for $25,000. Believe it or not. In a moment I'll tell you a story about Thanksgiving when it was known as a fast day. Until the year 1631, the stern pilgrims celebrated their Thanksgiving Day by rigorously abstaining from food and drink. In that year at Charlestown, the annual Thanksgiving fast day on February 5 was changed to a feast day for the first time to celebrate the long awaited arrival of a ship which landed with provisions from Ireland. It was not until President Lincoln's time that Thanksgiving day was generally designated for the last Thursday in November. Believe it or not.

[Jeff Regan]

My name is Regan. I get 10 a day and expenses from a detective bureau run by a guy named Anthony J. Lyon. They call me the Lion's Eye.

[Sam Spade]

With Jack Webb is Jeff Regan, the Lion's Eye. Stand by for hardboiled action and mystery and thrilling adventures in tonight's story of the Pilgrim's Progress.

[Jeff Regan]

The Cosmopolitan Building, 7th street near Olive, downtown LA. The mess of granite sewn together by an architect who must have taken his degree on the rock pile of Leavenworth. It's up on the third floor, room 308. Right next to a credit dentist who shares his office with a collection agency. On the other side there's a school for models. And the Lion's got sore eyes trying to see through that cloudy glass. International Detective Bureau. Anthony J. Lyon, President. He's also vice versa. President, secretary, treasurer. I work for him. Well, the office isn't much, but there's enough elbow room for a client to write a check. I went to the office Friday night about 5:20, answering the Lion's call. He was sitting behind the desk, sucking on a quarter cigar. He looked real pleased, like a fat lady locked in a cream puff factory.

[Sam Spade]

Man I know had a baby broman groan or something like that.

[Jeff Regan]

Mazel tov.

[Sam Spade]

Cancel any arrangements you got for the night.

[Jeff Regan]

I got something for you to do. Got your car in the lot.

[Sam Spade]

Gas it up. You're taking a trip. Where to?

[Jeff Regan]

Calabasas.

[Sam Spade]

A man wants to see you.

[Jeff Regan]

I got no friends out there?

[Sam Spade]

Friend of mine named Hendrix.

[Jeff Regan]

He counts his money with an adding.

[Sam Spade]

Machine and his fingers always swollen.

[Jeff Regan]

What's the problem?

[Sam Spade]

I don't know. He didn't say.

[Jeff Regan]

Just called and told me to send out a man. How Much did he give you for a retainer?

[Sam Spade]

When an important man like Hendrick calls you, don't insult him by asking for money.

[Jeff Regan]

Oh, stop it, will you? You're the kind of guy who'd steal pennies out of parking meter.

[Sam Spade]

That's enough, Re.

[Jeff Regan]

If one of them turned up empty.

[Sam Spade]

You'D sue the city. Here's the Hendrick address. Now get out there.

[Jeff Regan]

All right.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Remember, do a good job and I'll give you Thanksgiving off. And I'll pay you with what?

[Jeff Regan]

Cranberries. Well, I headed out Beverly and then up through Hollywood. You know, it's only November, but Santa Claus is breaking out all over the boulevard. I fought my way over Cahuenga Pass and by the time I was dodging station wagons on Ventura, it was dark. Calabasas is a place with a couple of service stations, a hot dog stand and a few road signs full of buckshot. The Hendricks place turned out to be about five miles down a road that the Indians built for hauling firewater. I guess they couldn't keep the cork in. But the house itself was strictly prohibition stuff. Big pile of slate roof and leaded windows. It looked dark and lonesome. Figured somebody had their holidays mixed.

[Effie]

Hi, Bill. Rum.

[Sam Spade]

He was a big fat guy who.

[Jeff Regan]

Was holding a six foot gun the shape of a straightened out Cuba. He came closer and I could see his hat. It was a high one with a buckle on it. He was dead and he had buckles all over him. I figured that I'd been eating too much Quaker oats.

[Sam Spade]

What's the matter, pilgrim?

[Jeff Regan]

A little suit and make you nervous? That's a big gun there. It's musket balls.

[Sam Spade]

Good for Indians.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, I'm no Indian. Well, I wasn't aiming at you. Well, that gun wouldn't know the difference.

[Sam Spade]

It's a blunderbutt's great weapon. Is it? I show you.

[Jeff Regan]

You prop it up on a crutch dealing with that thing and we'll both need one.

[Sam Spade]

Now, house, be quiet. Lower the barrel. With lots of powder.

[Jeff Regan]

Look, why don't you give that thing back to the museum.

[Sam Spade]

He does it, it's more powder.

[Jeff Regan]

Gotta use lots of this black powder. Mister, you need black coffee. Come on, get that thing before it pulls up your. You broke a window.

[Sam Spade]

It's all right.

[Jeff Regan]

It was only the attic. You live here?

[Sam Spade]

Of course not, pilgrim. I'm Miles. Sandy.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, where's the rest of the party?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, inside talking to John Holden. Yeah, sure, sure. Oh, you just think I'm kidding, don't you, pilgrim?

[Jeff Regan]

You just haven't got the Mayflower spirits. You drank it all this is silent.

[Sam Spade]

Nothing better on a cold New England night.

[Jeff Regan]

Thanksgiving's not for a week. Come on, get off it.

[Sam Spade]

Hark.

[Jeff Regan]

What's the matter? Put that down. I'm not going to shoot him.

[Sam Spade]

He's the friendly type. Brother Regan? Yeah. If thou will follow me, please.

[Jeff Regan]

Now, you too, huh?

[Sam Spade]

I beg your parents pardon. Okay.

[Jeff Regan]

Okay.

[Sam Spade]

Well, so long, pilgrim.

[Jeff Regan]

Yeah. Keep your Potter dry, Sandy.

[Sam Spade]

I'll see you on Premise Rock. Okay. This way, Brother Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

That looks s had.

[Sam Spade]

You work here? My name is Felt.

[Jeff Regan]

Why don't you lock that guy up?

[Sam Spade]

I'd be outnumbered, sir. There are 21, pilgrim. Bad weather.

[Jeff Regan]

They make you wear those corduroy neckers?

[Sam Spade]

Knee britches, sir, was Priscilla's idea.

[Jeff Regan]

You need a union. I need more shapely legs. Through here. It's quite a place you got.

[Sam Spade]

Looks better without the decorations, sir.

[Effie]

Yeah.

[Jeff Regan]

How do you keep from stepping on these pumpkins?

[Sam Spade]

It's only when they use them for bowling that it's difficult.

[Jeff Regan]

Come on, fill me in. What's this all about?

[Sam Spade]

Thanksgiving, sir. 1621. Okay. This room here, sir. Go right in.

[Effie]

Okay. Shut the door. Shut it.

[Jeff Regan]

Mr. Hendricks around?

[Effie]

It's not here. Come over. Sit down.

[Jeff Regan]

Who are you?

[Sam Spade]

Priscilla, don't. Please.

[Effie]

Don't say another word of that silly rigmarole or I'll start screaming.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, I could use a little yell myself.

[Effie]

I'm Agnes. I'm Mrs. Hendricks or Agnes.

[Jeff Regan]

It doesn't make any difference.

[Effie]

It does to my friends. Didn't I say Siddon?

[Jeff Regan]

Yes, you did and I didn't. So you don't like the party, huh?

[Effie]

I'm not much of a puritan, Mr. Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

That great Dane says the masquerade was your idea.

[Effie]

Phelps is stupid. This goes on all weekend, Mr. Regan. It's called a turkey shoot.

[Sam Spade]

That's it.

[Jeff Regan]

Who gets the bird?

[Effie]

The Pilgrim Fathers, my husband's friend. They ought to be shot, every one of them.

[Jeff Regan]

Yeah, well, I'm not from the SPCA.

[Effie]

Oh, wait a minute. A minute, Mr. Regan, I. I like you.

[Jeff Regan]

That's not the point.

[Effie]

I'll bore you.

[Jeff Regan]

Your husband might.

[Sam Spade]

Him?

[Effie]

He's crazy, Mr. Regan. Crazy as the things he does. Shooting, drinking, spending money, a hard life. I don't know how I stood it for as long as I have. My lawyer says I'm the most patient.

[Sam Spade]

Woman in the world. Yeah.

[Jeff Regan]

Now, thanks for the conversation.

[Effie]

Ms. Hendrick, why did my husband send for you?

[Jeff Regan]

I don't know.

[Effie]

Yes, you do. You do know. Tell me.

[Sam Spade]

I don't Know, Please.

[Effie]

You don't realize what kind of a man my husband can be.

[Jeff Regan]

I never met him.

[Effie]

You don't know how much I need help. How lonely I am.

[Sam Spade]

Well, where is he?

[Effie]

Tell you, if you promise to come back to me.

[Jeff Regan]

No, I'll write you a letter.

[Effie]

He's out in the shed, obviously, side of the patio. Thanks. I wouldn't act this way if I weren't so frightened. You don't know what it is to be frightened all the time.

[Jeff Regan]

No, but I'm learning.

[Effie]

I wish you'd stick around, Mr. Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, thanks, Ms. Hendricks, but the pin feathers are a little sharp. Miss Hendricks went back to her worrying and I wound my way through the house looking for the back entrance. My legs got tired before it finally showed. In the other side of the pantry, it poured out into a flagstone patio as big as the Palladium. A walk took me to a shed. It was a two story redneck plate that must have made a loud noise on the cash register. And alongside, fenced in with chicken wire, was a whole population of turkeys. Well, I went into the shed. Was a little round faced guy with pink skin was leaning over a barrel of cider. He wore a blue silk smoking jacket with gold initials EH on the pocket. When he caught my footsteps, his head bobbed up and he gave me a deep look like he was trying to see the back of my eyeballs.

[Sam Spade]

Yes?

[Jeff Regan]

I'm Regan, International Detective Bureau.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, I've been expecting you. I'm Hendrick.

[Jeff Regan]

Yeah, no, why the fireworks, huh?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Miles Standish and his bund. Just having fun.

[Jeff Regan]

It's party, you know. Big party we're having here. Yeah, well, the neighbors will complain. Ah, neighbors. None for miles around. That's why I like it out here.

[Sam Spade]

Have trouble finding me?

[Jeff Regan]

Got to put up signs.

[Sam Spade]

Signs? Glass of cider, Regan. Carefully. Flat.

[Jeff Regan]

I'm not thirsty. Yeah, that's not what it's for. Strong kind.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, go on. Thanksgiving soon.

[Effie]

Get the spirit.

[Jeff Regan]

No, I can hold out till Thursday. Suit yourself.

[Sam Spade]

Excuse me. Yeah, there's gonna be quite a party here.

[Jeff Regan]

You know, your wife's got a different version. Oh, you spoke to her?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. You were told to come out here to see me.

[Jeff Regan]

I got sidetracked.

[Sam Spade]

It's not good for a man in your position.

[Jeff Regan]

All right, Hendricks, Why am I here?

[Sam Spade]

What'd she say to you? I forgot.

[Jeff Regan]

Vegan.

[Sam Spade]

You're making me angry.

[Jeff Regan]

Now, look, mister, you didn't get me out here to make a pilgrim out.

[Sam Spade]

Of me, all right? No, no, of course not. Fine woman. Mrs. Henry, we've been married for years, you know, happily. Fine.

[Jeff Regan]

Fine little woman. So she makes me a little nervous at times. You like the sound of guns going off?

[Sam Spade]

She shouldn't get so excited.

[Jeff Regan]

Boys just having little fun. It's only once a year. What's wrong with that? Come on now.

[Sam Spade]

What's the job?

[Jeff Regan]

Didn't the lion tell you? He said you would. Oh, well, nothing to be so mysterious about. They've just got a package I want.

[Sam Spade]

To to take you. Here he is a turkey.

[Jeff Regan]

You got me all the way out here to play escort to that bird. I just want to be friendly.

[Sam Spade]

Here. Now, go on, go on, go on.

[Jeff Regan]

It's a long way back to LA and you want to be there for Thanksgiving? What's the difference?

[Sam Spade]

I got the turkey.

[Jeff Regan]

I can celebrate anytime. 60 miles to do a delivery job on a dead bird. Well, I wandered back to my car and I listened to the crickets and the gunshots try to outdo each other. Then I dumped the turkey into the back seat and I started the car down the drive. I just stoned around the bend when the headlights caught a pair of buckle shoes and black knee bridges. Miles Standish was lying face down in the dirt and there was a wet shine on his side. He was freezing hard. Blunderbuss was lying beside him and I figured that he blew out the wrong end. I would have gone for the Hendrix phone and the doctor, but I got a good look at the holes in him and I headed for hospital instead. The Blunderbuss may have been kicking up a fuss, but the holes in miles Standish were 20th century, about the size of a 32. Well, I turned him over to an emergency hospital and I put a call into the sheriff's office. I gave the story to Lieutenant Robinson and then I headed back toward town. At the lion's place, the lights were still on, so I figured he didn't have company. I wrapped him the door and he flung it open before the echo could die away. He had a carving knife in one hand and he was wearing an apron. His eyes were big and he had an eager look, like a college couple on Mulholland Drive. Intriguing. You're back. Oh, now that takes a big brain. I've been waiting for you.

[Sam Spade]

You know, I had a chance to go to a classy party tonight. Russian caviar and champagne and flavors to all the guests. Know why I didn't go?

[Jeff Regan]

You lost your trash suit, huh?

[Sam Spade]

I said to myself. Is it fair to go out and have a good time while my employee is working real Hard for international detective.

[Jeff Regan]

The answer came out yes, but the party was called off.

[Sam Spade]

Well, as a matter of fact, it was.

[Jeff Regan]

But I wouldn't have gone anyway.

[Sam Spade]

Worth him.

[Jeff Regan]

Where's what?

[Effie]

The package from Hendrix.

[Jeff Regan]

Now you can change your plans, big shot. You're getting a bundle of trouble instead.

[Sam Spade]

What do you mean?

[Jeff Regan]

Turkey's not the only thing they're knocking off out on that ranch. Somebody's handy with a.32 and he's found a target.

[Sam Spade]

You've been drinking.

[Jeff Regan]

Check the county emergency hospital. They'll show you the holes. I send you a and a simple little job and you come back with a crazy story about a shooting. You're out of your mind. Now listen, you. There's a big smell out in Calabasas.

[Sam Spade]

What about my turkey?

[Jeff Regan]

The sheriff's office are going to have a lot of questions.

[Sam Spade]

You got the answer? I don't know anything.

[Jeff Regan]

I was miles away. Well, then find out something. Check into the guy who shot. Find out who he is, what he does and what he was doing out of Hendricks.

[Sam Spade]

Where you going?

[Jeff Regan]

Scratch around in the Hendrick's closet. They tell different stories about their wedded bliss.

[Sam Spade]

Hey, Regan. Yeah? Where's my turkey?

[Jeff Regan]

It's too rich for your blood, fatso. I picked a chicken. Well, I left him standing there with his apron hanging out. Miles Standish might get enough wind through that extra hole to say who shot him, but more likely not. Anyway, with the bucket load he had, he would have sworn it was the Last of the Mohicans. But there was an angle of that Hendrix woman, even if it didn't show. So I walked up the street to where my car was nuzzling a lamppost. The turkey and I were just going to wake up a newspaper office. Only if something changed my mind. A newspaper. It was wrapped around a bundle and the bundle was under a guy's arm. And the arm was shutting the door on my car. Good evening, Pop.

[Sam Spade]

Hi.

[Jeff Regan]

Going somewhere?

[Sam Spade]

Sure, sure. Find a place to sleep, that's all.

[Jeff Regan]

Want a cigarette?

[Sam Spade]

Say, I don't mind if I do. Let's use a bull for a minute. You mind if I take two now? Help yourself. My brother smokes, too. Not much in the streets these days.

[Jeff Regan]

Bad all over.

[Sam Spade]

Something ought to be done. Stick around. No, no, sonny. You give me smokes, I don't hit you for cash. It's a rule I got.

[Jeff Regan]

I'll make the touch. Is that what's in the newspaper? Russia inside the funny paper? Yeah, sure.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I'll take it easy, boss. Guy's got a right to his privacy.

[Jeff Regan]

You weren't sleeping in my car.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, so that's it yours, huh? Small world, ain't it? Yeah.

[Jeff Regan]

Come on, let's unwrap now.

[Sam Spade]

It's Thanksgiving, Mac. Ain't you heard of Thanksgiving? I'm going.

[Jeff Regan]

Plug my ears. Give.

[Sam Spade]

Now. Please, Mag, show me the spirit once in my life. Both drumsticks. Stop it.

[Jeff Regan]

You're breaking my heart.

[Sam Spade]

I mean it, Ma. Let me have it. I'll break my. The wishbone for you, sonny. I will. You ain't got no use for all that me, have you? Oh, you have for so long, man.

[Jeff Regan]

Hey, wait a minute.

[Sam Spade]

Hold it.

[Jeff Regan]

I let go of my arm. That was a pretty dance. But you should have changed your shoes.

[Sam Spade]

What's that?

[Jeff Regan]

You didn't get those buckles in the bloodline. Now, come on, change the record.

[Sam Spade]

Who are you? That's none of your business. I go. I can talk. I will not.

[Jeff Regan]

You're from the Hendricks place, aren't you? You're from the.

[Sam Spade]

Thank you, Phil.

[Jeff Regan]

Oops.

[Sam Spade]

That's all right. Got the bird? Sure. Let's go. Yeah. Nighty night, pilgrim. You are listening to the story of the Pilgrim's Progress. Tonight's adventure with Jeff Regan. Investigator. Commissions are still available in the Army Nurse Corps graduate. Registered nurses between the ages of 21 and 45 may qualify for service with this fine organization. If you are interested in joining the Army Nurse Corps and believe you qualify for a commission, apply to the adjutant general, Washington, D.C. and now back to Jeff Regan, investigator and the story of the Pilgrim's Progress.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, none of it made sense. The lion sent me out to pick up a turkey on the Hendricks ranch in Calabasas. And the Mr. And Mrs. Were having an old fashioned turkey shoot. And all the guests carried blunderbusses and dressed like Pilgrims. Only it wasn't just the turkeys who were acting as targets. One of the Pilgrims. Pilgrims ended up with some.32 caliber holes in them. And then the Hendrix lackey and a buddy shoved a gun at me and stole the Lion's bird. Well, I picked myself up and I went home. A heavy man was doing a heist job in my ice box. He was pouring himself a glass of milk to wash down a sandwich he was munching on.

[Sam Spade]

Hi, Regan. Right ahead.

[Jeff Regan]

Help yourself. Yeah, yeah, thanks.

[Sam Spade]

I didn't know how long I was gonna have to wait. And I was getting hungry.

[Jeff Regan]

There's a restaurant just up there, Block.

[Sam Spade]

I like it better this way. Homemade fish. You, sandwich pretty good. Deviled ham.

[Jeff Regan]

Come on, let's close the box and Open your mouth, buddy.

[Sam Spade]

Why not?

[Jeff Regan]

We had a date, remember?

[Sam Spade]

Robertson.

[Jeff Regan]

Sheriff's office. That's what I figured. You don't mind me coming in like this, do you? What if I did?

[Sam Spade]

I'd leave. Sanctity of the home.

[Jeff Regan]

You know, you can throw me out.

[Sam Spade]

Even though I got a badge.

[Jeff Regan]

Let's cut away the fat, mister. What do you want?

[Sam Spade]

Answers to a couple of questions. What were you doing at the Hendrix place?

[Jeff Regan]

Picking up a turkey. Well, it's a new one. Look, you ask him, I'll answer them. Never mind the feature page.

[Sam Spade]

How long have you known the Hendrix?

[Jeff Regan]

Never met him before.

[Sam Spade]

Wrong answer.

[Jeff Regan]

What do you mean?

[Sam Spade]

We found this out at the Hendrix house. The page torn out of the yellow directory with a red circle around International Detective.

[Jeff Regan]

And that doesn't say a thing.

[Sam Spade]

Maybe yes, maybe no.

[Jeff Regan]

I'm still scratching around. It'll ruin your manicure.

[Sam Spade]

You know, Regan, you don't seem to realize the serious seriousness of this. That Koga you dragged in died.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, I figured we don't like unsolved murders messing up our record books. Well, then you're wasting your time.

[Sam Spade]

Here.

[Jeff Regan]

I got lots of it.

[Sam Spade]

I don't come up for pension for 12 more years.

[Jeff Regan]

What was that pilgrim's name he gave me? Miles Standish.

[Sam Spade]

Sounds like a fake. Don't count on it.

[Jeff Regan]

I once knew a John Smith.

[Sam Spade]

Give me the real name.

[Jeff Regan]

I don't have it.

[Sam Spade]

All right, he's not a town boy.

[Jeff Regan]

But we'll track him down.

[Sam Spade]

Now straighten out something for me, Regan. How long did you say you knew the Hendrick?

[Jeff Regan]

Look, I gave this to you once. Nothing's changed. How come we find a $5,000 check.

[Sam Spade]

In that joker's pocket made out of cash and signed by Hendricks? Go ahead, answer. Just don't make a date.

[Jeff Regan]

You may not be available. Yeah?

[Effie]

Mr. Regan, this is Mrs. Hendrick. I. I must see you right away.

[Sam Spade]

What did you say, Ms. Hendricks? You remember Charlie?

[Jeff Regan]

No. No, there's no Charlie here. You must have the wrong number.

[Sam Spade]

Sort of annoying, isn't it, Regan, when you get a wrong number late at night?

[Jeff Regan]

That happens.

[Sam Spade]

Sure. Sure, it does happen to me once.

[Jeff Regan]

Anything else you want?

[Sam Spade]

Another deviled ham sandwich.

[Jeff Regan]

Kitchen's closed.

[Sam Spade]

But you're out in hospitality.

[Jeff Regan]

But you weren't asked.

[Sam Spade]

Okay, I gotta move anyway. See you later. Riga. Keep the mud off your shoes. Er, three. 4:08.

[Effie]

Hello?

[Jeff Regan]

Mrs. Hendricks. Is Regan. I just called you, but I couldn't talk.

[Sam Spade]

What do you want?

[Effie]

Can you come out, Mr. Regan?

[Sam Spade]

Right away.

[Jeff Regan]

You're still lonely.

[Effie]

Things aren't going well?

[Jeff Regan]

Murders like that.

[Effie]

I've got to talk to somebody. Won't you please, please come?

[Jeff Regan]

Give me a reason.

[Effie]

I can tell you some things now I couldn't mention before.

[Jeff Regan]

Like why your husband wrote a $5,000 check to the dead man.

[Sam Spade]

Check?

[Effie]

There must be some mistake.

[Sam Spade]

What do you mean?

[Effie]

My husband couldn't write a check that large. He doesn't have any money of his own. It's all in my name.

[Sam Spade]

All right.

[Jeff Regan]

Put a lantern in the window, lady. I'll need some light. Well, I headed out there fast, but when I raised her like it with a brass knocker, nothing happened. I tried a window and a couple of scratches later, I was in the hall. Place looked empty. Like the rose bowl on January 2nd. I found Ms. Hendricks room where I talked to her and stepped inside. The decorations were different.

[Sam Spade]

Sheriff's office.

[Jeff Regan]

Robinson. Who's Regan? I got something for you.

[Sam Spade]

It better be good.

[Jeff Regan]

You're going into overtime.

[Sam Spade]

What do you mean?

[Jeff Regan]

Bring some boys out to the Hendricks place with a wet rag. Somebody blew out Mr. Hendrix Fuse. Well, I backed out of the room and I made it to the bar. Trying to turn up a bottle in the corner. Something else turned up instead. Another dead body. The turkey Phelps and his buddy had stolen from me. Somebody real eager had done a carving job on it before it was even cooked. They torn it apart like they were looking for something. Well, it was morning before the sheriff's boys cleaned up the Hendricks mess and we got back to town. Robinson had a few more questions when I was still short on the answers. Ballistics had one, though. Same gun did the job on both Miles Standish and Hendricks. That's all. Homicide was getting places in a hurry like a snail hauling a piano. Well, the lion was waiting for me out there outside the sheriff's office and he pulled me to the side. His eyes were lit up like a pinball machine and you could tell he'd caught the scent of a greenback.

[Sam Spade]

They tricked you okay, Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

Good enough. No rough stuff, Nothing that shows?

[Sam Spade]

No, we're in luck. I've been turning up things. We've been playing the wrong horse.

[Jeff Regan]

That figures. You're good at picking losers.

[Sam Spade]

Hendrix is a piker.

[Jeff Regan]

Social climber. He's a dead one.

[Sam Spade]

I'll send him flowers, but I'm telling you, he could only write checks for five.

[Jeff Regan]

Cheap with a big bounce. Somebody else in this thing can write bigger ones. Well, let me guess who.

[Sam Spade]

Mrs. Hendrick, that's who. I tell you, Regan, it pays to keep up your connection.

[Jeff Regan]

How high can she Go.

[Sam Spade]

The sky is below sea level.

[Jeff Regan]

What else you got?

[Sam Spade]

Standish is a phony moniker.

[Jeff Regan]

That's grammar school.

[Sam Spade]

Real name, Jeffrey Kelly, age 42. He's a wholesale jeweler. He had a little business with Mrs. H. $250,000 worth.

[Jeff Regan]

That's going to run up his taxes.

[Sam Spade]

He can handle it.

[Jeff Regan]

What'd he do for her? I drew a blank.

[Sam Spade]

But he deposited her certified check in the bank yesterday morning.

[Jeff Regan]

How does Phelps figure?

[Sam Spade]

I don't know.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, who's the little man in the big overcoat?

[Sam Spade]

I can't do everything.

[Jeff Regan]

You gotta do some work, too. Yeah, sure.

[Sam Spade]

Now, find Mrs. Hendricks. Offer her the services of international detective at our usual nominal rate. But don't underplay it.

[Effie]

Now get busy.

[Sam Spade]

Where you going? Home to bed. A man's gotta get some sleep.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, the time was ticking out, but the game wasn't over yet. We figured to have a fast finish and the lion had a pretty good idea about catching some shut eye. So I moved to the office and a stretch out on the couch. But through the glass, I could see there was a light on. Company was inside.

[Sam Spade]

Crestview 2045. Felt no luck. I looked all over. I. I told you, I tore the platform apart. Nothing's here. I'm trying my best. Stop harping. Oh, well, it must be someplace else.

[Jeff Regan]

Okay, okay.

[Sam Spade]

Right away.

[Jeff Regan]

Leave a nickel, buster.

[Sam Spade]

Huh? Oh, Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

You looking for something?

[Sam Spade]

You pilgrim.

[Jeff Regan]

What else?

[Sam Spade]

Plymouth Rock.

[Jeff Regan]

Come on, punk, level it.

[Sam Spade]

All right, coax me.

[Jeff Regan]

All right, because you've been crying for this. Now flatten out. Well, it felt good to watch the big guy fall. He folded in like a steeple in an earthquake. When his head bounced in the lion's carpet, it figured he was due for a long sleep, so I went through his pockets. Ticket stubs from the prize fights, the gun and a pocket knife I dumped into the safe. It was a pass to the don team on November 25th. Must have swiped that from his boss while I filed that in the lion's desk for future reference. But this guy Phelps had taken orders from somebody besides Hendrix. I just heard him do A on the phone. So when I turned up an old envelope with 832 North Palm stretched in the back, I crossed my fingers. He'd been calling a Crestview number, and the phone book said that I had a lead. North Palm was in the Crestview exchange area. So I called for the cops to sweep up brother Phelps, and I climbed back onto my broomstick. I drove out through Beverly Hills. I wound up in front of a big Spanish House with potted ten dollar bills on the driveway. There was a new Nash sticking out of the garage. And I walked around to take a look, but honest, John, it beat me to it.

[Sam Spade]

Who's there? Now, stick around.

[Jeff Regan]

I want to talk to you.

[Sam Spade]

Stand back. Stand back.

[Jeff Regan]

You like cars, don't you? Maybe you want a hot rod.

[Sam Spade]

No, you don't. Get away from me. Hey.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, it was the little turkey fan that I'd last seen in an overcoat. Phelps, buddy. He took out of there like a colander season, so I let him go. No license. Well, I took a look around the car he'd been sniffing, but nothing showed except the registration. It said Mrs. Agnes Hendricks. I went to the house and rang the doorbell, and she answered.

[Effie]

Oh, what's you. I'm so Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

All right, I'll ask myself in.

[Effie]

Yes, Come in.

[Jeff Regan]

What are you expecting John Alden?

[Effie]

No, I. I'm glad to see you.

[Jeff Regan]

You know, I don't like girls who break dates.

[Effie]

Oh, that.

[Jeff Regan]

Yeah, that's one thing.

[Effie]

I couldn't help it. I couldn't wait for you to come all the way to Calabasas.

[Jeff Regan]

You got impatient on account of a.

[Sam Spade]

Body in the house you're sewing.

[Jeff Regan]

Yeah, after I tripped over him in your room.

[Effie]

I didn't do it.

[Jeff Regan]

Did I say you did?

[Effie]

You've got to believe me.

[Sam Spade]

Relax.

[Jeff Regan]

I look like a jury. You got multiple visions?

[Effie]

Oh, Mr. Regan, I was so frightened. I didn't know which way to turn.

[Jeff Regan]

We've been through all that woman driver routine. You don't like your husband. You wanted to get rid of him.

[Effie]

But only in Reno.

[Jeff Regan]

All right, now let's get Back to page one. You gave 250 GS to a jeweler named Kelly. You bought a rock. A rock. Plymouth Rock. It's a diamond. It's gotta be. Why'd you do it? Who'd you buy it for?

[Effie]

My. My lawyers said I should get it for myself. That's all.

[Sam Spade]

He likes you. Pretty, huh? No.

[Effie]

No, it was a community property thing. He said I could keep my husband from knowing how much money I had when he asked for a divorce settlement.

[Jeff Regan]

Only hubby got wind of the deal.

[Effie]

I guess so.

[Jeff Regan]

You're making sense. Only, why did he write a check to Kelly?

[Effie]

Well, it was a small one. It must have been for a paste imitation, don't you think?

[Jeff Regan]

It's not my business. Keep dealing.

[Effie]

I mean, maybe he planned on switching them and getting my real one.

[Jeff Regan]

That's been done.

[Effie]

He actually did it because all through this there's been a diamond in the place where I always keep it.

[Jeff Regan]

All right, you got a strong boy. Phelps had him out looking for the real diamond.

[Sam Spade]

What?

[Jeff Regan]

And the other guy, the old man, was out in the garage? No, Phelps tore up my office. Phoned here to you, Mr. Regan. Look, there's been two guys killed, Mr. Regan.

[Sam Spade]

Good evening, pilgrim. Where's your overcoat sense still, please.

[Jeff Regan]

Yeah, my foot's in a crash.

[Effie]

Mr. Regan, this is. This is John.

[Jeff Regan]

Oh, can it, will you? I've seen him act one part already.

[Sam Spade]

It's true. Mine is the only name that's real. This is my house, Mr. Regan. Lawyer.

[Effie]

Yes, I came here to see him. Mr. Regan, I just got here before you.

[Sam Spade]

Be quiet, Agnes.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, I got it all now.

[Sam Spade]

You won't keep it.

[Jeff Regan]

Phelps took his orders from you.

[Sam Spade]

It's a waste of testimony.

[Jeff Regan]

You started this. Spotted the gem switch. Figure to cash in.

[Sam Spade]

You're losing your.

[Jeff Regan]

Shut up, will you? I got aces. Hendrick's outboxed you. You never found a real diamond.

[Sam Spade]

Hive in a hand draws blood, Mr. Alder. Don't you keep out of this, Agnes.

[Jeff Regan]

She's not in it, you are.

[Sam Spade]

That's all, Regan.

[Jeff Regan]

All right, come on, drop it.

[Sam Spade]

Drop it. Go over there.

[Effie]

I guess I hit him with the paste one, huh? Look, the diamond broke. Yeah, it was just luck. I. I have the other one, too. I thought Alden was honest. I came to tell him I found it in my husband's cider.

[Jeff Regan]

Well, that tears it. Come on, Priscilla. That doc's the Mayflower. Well, the whole thing folded in like an elephant on a pogo stick. Yeah, the lawyer did it, all right.

[Sam Spade]

Both of them.

[Jeff Regan]

When he spotted what Hendricks was up to with that diamond switch, he moved in. But not for his client. The jeweler, Miles Standish, alias Kelly, got bumped because he was the only one who could tell the real diamond from a phony. But Hendricks got wags to the muscle act, and so he got shot. Well, the lion was real happy the way it worked out. That dame with the nerves wrote him a check. So he invited me out to Thanksgiving dinner. He offered me any part of the turkey that I wanted. I told him, but I got it anyway.

[Sam Spade]

Jack Webb is featured as Jeff Regan with her Butterfield as Anthony J. Line. It's CBS at the same time next week for more Hard Boiled action and mystery with Jeff Regan, investigator, written by Larry Roman and Jackson Gillis, produced by Sterling Tracy. Featured in tonight's story were Mary Lansing, Marvin Miller, Paul Freeze and Paul Debug. Original music for this program is by Milton Charles Bob Stevenson speaking. This is cbs, the Columbia broadcast casting system. Welcome back. I don't think that was quite the way John Bunyan wrote it. I will say that the use of pilgrim never made more sense than in this episode. This was just a madcap episode. Just so many amazing twists and turns. It was almost surreal. And a very rare Thanksgiving episode of an old time radio show. This one it would almost make sense to save for Thanksgiving if we were still going to be playing that show around Thanksgiving time. But anyway, we have a comment on podcast Alley from Dan who says, adam, great podcast. I enjoy the shows and your commentary. Keep up the good work. Keep digging for more history on the actors. Thanks so much for making my drive every day better. Well, thanks so much, Dan. And we definitely will continue to look for new information, but that will do it for today. We'll be back tomorrow with Let George do it. I got a comment. Email me box13greatdetectives.net Cast your vote for the show on Podcast alley podcastally great detectives.net and remember, you can become a fan on Facebook. Facebook.great detectives.net From Boise, Idaho, this is your host, Adam Graham.

[Effie]

The way that gives that natural us is T o n I Tony, Tony.

[Sam Spade]

Tony Home Permanent. The wave that gives that natural look brings you Crime photographer. Good evening everyone. This is Bill Cullen greeting you for Tony Home permanent and inviting you to listen to another adventure of Casey, crime photographer, ace cameraman who covers the crime news of a great city. Written by Alonzo Dean Cole. Our adventure for tonight, holiday. Thanksgiving Day, early afternoon. Among the crowd that strolls idly by the Blue Note Cafe is a slight worried looking man who, unlike the other strollers, doesn't appear to be in a holiday mood. Biff. Biff Connors, Huh? You remember me, fella? Casey Morning Express. Sure, I remember you. Hey, couldn't be better, Biff. I haven't seen you since. Gosh, it must be three years. Closer to four, I guess. It's Ms. Williams, let me introduce Mr. Connor.

[Effie]

Hello, Mr. Connor.

[Sam Spade]

Good to meet you, Ms. Williams. Heard some nice things about you, Biff. They tell me you're married now, raising a family, got your own business, doing fine. Yeah, well, I gotta be running along. Nice seeing you, Casey. Been introduced to you, Ms. Williams. So long. So long, Biff.

[Effie]

That was short and sweet. Your friend could hardly contain his joy at meeting you.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah.

[Effie]

You look worried, Casey. I don't think his mind was really on you. Who is he?

[Sam Spade]

Well, he used to be one of the clever safe crackers in the country.

[Effie]

Safe crackers?

[Sam Spade]

He knew more about safes and the people that make them. He didn't keep him out of jail, though. He served three stretches.

[Effie]

You don't usually introduce needy or criminal associates.

[Sam Spade]

Biff wasn't the usual kind of criminal, Annie. Since his last term in the big house. He's going absolutely straight, too. I know that. Yeah. I hope nothing's gone wrong with a guy.

[Effie]

Oh, probably not. Here's the blue note.

[Sam Spade]

Let me push open the door for you, Michael. Well, look who's here. Hi, pal.

[Effie]

Good afternoon, Ethelbert.

[Sam Spade]

Happy Thanksgiving to both of you. And to you in big red letters. Had you turkey and trimmings yet?

[Effie]

No, we plan to go to a movie and then have dinner about 7 o'.

[Sam Spade]

Clock. You having it here? What? Thanksgiving dinner in this joint? Oh, not a chance.

[Effie]

What's the matter with this joint?

[Sam Spade]

The chef's putting out a $75 special today.

[Effie]

Stacy's taking me to the Ritz for dinner. And then we're going to a play.

[Sam Spade]

Yep. Movies in the afternoon, the Ritz for dinner and then an evening show.

[Effie]

Huh.

[Sam Spade]

You are having a holiday. We're not going to waste any of it hanging around here. As much as we love you at the bar. Oh, Casey, it just came to my mind. As of November 1st, you owe us on your October bill. Oh, well, that's all right. I just carry it over to December. I'm gonna need all the dough I've got on me today, I think. Yeah, and you'll need all you got on you in December. I don't like the Dunn a pal.

[Effie]

Casey, but I know you.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, hello, Bib. Excuse me for butting in like this, Ms. Williams, but Casey, after I left you outside, I got to think. Oh, we're glad to see you again, fella. How about having. No, no, no, thanks. I hope you'll excuse me, Ms. Williams, in case of your friend asking too much. Well, when you step outside, we'll me. Well, so I. I can talk to you along. Well, I. I'd appreciate it, Casey, a lot.

[Effie]

Sure. Go ahead, Casey. I'll wait for you here.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, well, okay. Any thanks? Okay, Biff. Thanks a million. You look awful worried, fella. What's this? Are you a busy professional woman? A teacher? A nurse, perhaps? A business career girl? Well, Tony, home permanent is a blessing for busy women like you. It takes so little time to give yourself the most natural looking wave you've ever had. With Tony, you don't have to spend half a day away from home. You don't have to sit under a hot, dryer While your Tony wave is taking you can listen to the radio, read, do anything you like. This weekend get the Tony kit complete. Complete with plastic curlers for just $2. Follow the simple directions and see how convenient it is to give yourself the loveliest wave you've ever had. With Tony home permanent. The wave that gives that natural look.

[Effie]

P O N I Tony.

[Sam Spade]

Turn into the side street, Casey. It ain't so crowded. We can talk. Okay, Beth. I. I oughtn't wish this on you, Casey. You ain't a guy who owes me anything. After I run into you by accident a while ago, I got to thinking that maybe it was one of them. Them signs. You see, I've been praying. Well, he was always irregular in my book. And I got to think that maybe you was the one guy in the world I could turn to for help. Yeah, well, what kind of help do you need? I'm not so heavy with dough. I have plans for today. But if you've got to help. I don't want any money. Oh, well, you're not in trouble then. Wait a minute. You in wrong with the cops again? Not yet. Not yet. Casey. I've been 100% straight since I came out of stir last time I asked you to believe that. I believe you, Ben. I. The wife and I built up a nice little business. We got a. We got a store uptown. A bag of candy, toys, stationery. Things were going along just swell until two weeks ago. What happened then? A couple of guys come into my store with a proposition. They wanted me to crack a safe. Yeah. They offered me 5,000 bucks to do the job. Nice money. I told them where to go with it. A couple days later they come back. They raised their offer to ten grand. I drew him out of the place. Gone. That didn't get me nothing. He told me I'd play along with him or else. Then this morning I found a loaded.45 caliber automatic under my candy con. What, a gun? Yeah. I'm an ex con, Casey. A three time loser. You know what it'd mean for me if the cops found a gat in my possession? You get the book? Sure. I'd be put away for Keats. The gun was planted under that counter, Casey. Sometime during the night I wrapped it up. I made an excuse to the wife that I had to come downtown. And I went to the North Bridge and I dropped it in the river. This gun was left where you'd be sure to find it. Yeah. It wasn't meant as a frame, just a. As a hint of what'll happen if I don't play ball. Have the two guys been around to follow up their hint? I don't know. I ain't been back to the store since I left the bridge. I've just been walking around trying to think. Wife don't know anything about them guys in their proposition. I ain't told her and I can't tell her. She knows all about my record. You can figure out scared she'd be. And you haven't told the cops? Has a guy like me ever rented a cop? Well, it'd be smart if you ran to him this time. No. No? No. Why not? In the first place, they wouldn't believe me. An ex con. They figure I was trying to put something over. I can't blame him, Casey. Well, I can tell him. You got to promise me you won't listen. Suppose they did believe me. What happens? They set a trap for the guys who proposition me. Them guys got friends who'll know that the squeal that the cops acted on, had it come from me, my life wouldn't be worth a nickel. Guess you got something. Promise me you won't say nothing to the cops, Casey.

[Effie]

You got it.

[Sam Spade]

What do you want me to do, Biff? I don't know. I just had to talk to somebody, that's all. For a guy I knew was right. And I ain't got such a good head, Casey. I figured maybe. Maybe you could figure my way out. Thanks for the compliment. Who are the guys that came to you with this proposition? I don't know. They didn't tell me their names when I get around a little. What do they look like? One was tall and skinny, had a long face and big yellow teeth. He kind of looks like a horse. Yeah. The other is a little dark guy, heavy set. Wait a minute. The one you say looks like a horse, has he got a long scar on his neck? Yeah, like somebody done a shift job on it. Can't be two mugs who answer to that description. Scarlet horse face. Must be Jake Bannister. Head, strong arm, goon for Nick Reynolds. Nick Reynolds? Well, you must know who he is. The name's familiar. But you are out of touch with the rackets, kid. Nick Reynolds is the Mr. Big behind some of the dirtiest crooked work that goes on in this town. Body poses as a solid, respectable business guy. And the cops have never been able to nail him. Oh, wait a minute. Tell me more about the little heavy set mug. Well, he. He looks. He's got a collie for flowery air. Like a Pug. And he stinks of perfume. Tony Chef, he's another of Reynolds guys. This is beginning to sound like hot stuff. I don't suppose they told you whose safe they want open, huh? No. They tell you anything about it? Only there was a small house safe, a real tough one. That's what he needed. An old hotshot like me. And they offered you dough to crack at 10 grand. They didn't say anything about giving you a share of what's in it. That's right. I got a notion there isn't any dough in the box to share, Casey. Just something that somebody wants and is willing to pay high for. Think you can find out from those guys where the box is, the location of the house and who lives there? They won't tell me unless I say I'll play ball with them. That's right, they won't. Look, Biff, go back to your store. They ought to be paying you a visit there today after planting that gun. Try to learn all you can. And then. Well, I've made other plans for this afternoon, but I'll, I'll stick around. The Blue Note. I'll write down the number of a phone booth there so we can talk in private when you call.

[Effie]

There.

[Sam Spade]

Here it is. Thanks, Casey. I got a dinner date for around seven that I can't break, fella. And then I'll be tied up for the rest of the evening. So if your guys don't show by seven, things are going to have to just ride a while, I guess. But in the meantime, I'll be running down a little tip I got on Nick Reynolds. A tip? Yeah, it's just a piece of gossip I didn't think much of until I heard your story. Now it may mean something. Well, so long, Bev. Take it easy now and try not to worry, huh? I'll try. But you remember you promised me, Casey, you won't tell the cops? Yeah, yeah, that's right. I won't tell the cops.

[Effie]

And because your ex convict friend is so worried, Casey, you leave me sitting here in the Blue Note for most of the afternoon.

[Sam Spade]

I, I, I phoned you I'd be a little delayed.

[Effie]

A little delayed? Look at the time. It's nearly 5 o'. Clock. You were taking me to the movies this afternoon, remember?

[Sam Spade]

Please, kid. What's a movie when a guy's in a jam?

[Effie]

Oh, yeah. Poor fellow is in a bad spot.

[Sam Spade]

He's in a terrible spot. From what Casey's told us, Ms. Williams and I don't see what can be done about it. Without help from the cops. And if they're brought into the picture, Ethelbert Biff would be killed for squealing. Nick Reynolds is behind this thing and he plays rough.

[Effie]

Casey, you said you've been following up a tip on Reynolds.

[Sam Spade]

You know Monty Summers, Annie, of the Summers Detective Agency.

[Effie]

Summers Blackmail Bureau would be a better name for his outfit.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, that's right. Well, Summers is a shakedown artist of the dirtiest kind. He's done a lot of work for Nick Reynolds, but he doesn't work for him anymore. There's been a bus stop.

[Effie]

Yeah, I heard that.

[Sam Spade]

My tip was that Summers pulled the old double cross and collected evidence against his boss Reynolds, enough to send him away for life. Now Reynolds is supposed to be paying in plenty to keep that evidence under his hat.

[Effie]

Well, that tip sounds like a phony. Reynolds wouldn't pay a blackmailer. He'd have him bumped off. Well, sure.

[Sam Spade]

Like you just said, Casey, Nick Reynolds plays rough. Yeah, but he too smart to play rough when he stands to lose by it. Though, if Summers has the goods on Reynolds, it's in documentary form that won't be destroyed by his death. It's a cinch that Summers has convinced his old boss that the stuff will be made public if he's killed or if he disappears.

[Effie]

Yeah, that's so.

[Sam Spade]

But Casey, what's it got to do.

[Effie]

With your friend Biff Connors?

[Sam Spade]

ETHELBERT 2 of Nick Reynolds trusted hoods offer Biff a flat sum, not a share. To open a house safe, you mean? Well, it could be Monty Summers documentary evidence that Reynolds wants. I sure.

[Effie]

And we could get it. Casey, what a story.

[Sam Spade]

What a story with exclusive pictures. It'd be worth missing an afternoon movie for, wouldn't it, kid?

[Effie]

I'll say.

[Sam Spade]

And if the evidence got Nick Rannell sent to jail, this town would be a much better place to live in. But how is this theory of yours going to help Biff Connors?

[Jeff Regan]

Casey?

[Sam Spade]

It doesn't. It's a complication. Well, since Biff hasn't phoned, I guess Reynolds mugs didn't show up at his place.

[Jeff Regan]

He's probably taking a holiday off.

[Effie]

No, I'd like a little holiday myself and away from this place. I'm hungry, Casey. Let's start for the Ritz.

[Sam Spade]

Well, it's not nearly 7:00 o'clock yet, Annie. I told the guy if he phones, I'll tell him you've gone to the Ritz.

[Effie]

Casey.

[Sam Spade]

Intercourse.

[Effie]

Oh no, Ethelbert. I'm not gonna have my thanks giving dinner spoiled by phone calls for Casey.

[Sam Spade]

Well, you're so anxious to get out of the good old blue note. Ms. Williams, I thought.

[Effie]

Well, you think again. After we leave here, you tell nobody.

[Sam Spade]

Where to reach us.

[Effie]

We're going to have the rest of this day to ourselves.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, you. You'll do as Ms. Williams says, pal. Really nothing I can do for Biff tonight. And he's going to stall those guys anyway. Whatever you say, Casey. Yeah, well, come on Annie.

[Effie]

At last we're going places.

[Sam Spade]

That's right. So long, Ethelbert. So long.

[Effie]

Well, Mr. Casey?

[Sam Spade]

Yes, Walter? Phone call for you in the booth, Mr. Connors. Excuse me.

[Effie]

I might have known, Ethelbert. I might have known.

[Sam Spade]

Hello? Casey speaking. This is Beth, Beth connors. Anything happen? 20 them guys were here and I couldn't stall them like you told me, Casey. Couldn't stall them? No, they said they'd get my wife and kid if I didn't fall in line. They weren't bluffing. I got to do that job tonight at 12 or else. 12 tonight? Yeah, I promised them I will and I have to. There's no way you or anybody else can help me now, pal. I just phoned cuz I said I would and you wouldn't. Kept hanging around till 7 o', clock, that's all. It's all. Hey, wait a minute, don't hang up. Listen, after you promise those guys that you'd do their job, did they tell you where it's going to be? Yeah. You know what you promised me, Casey? No cops. You've got to trust me. Now give me that address, will you? Okay, it's on Riker Avenue, number 393. 90 Riker? That's right. Those two guys will go there with you at 12 tonight. Yeah, and they'll be watching me every minute, Casey, with guns in them mitts. Well listen, stay in your store. I'll get in touch with you there by 10:30. You got some plan, Casey, you think there's a chance? There's a swell chance, Biff, there's every chance. Now stop worrying kid. You'll hear from me in a couple of hours. Hold on. I got faith in you, Casey. So long. Faith in a liar? I can't figure any chance.

[Effie]

Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't tell me we're not heading for the Ritz and turkey dinner.

[Sam Spade]

No, we're going out to look over Monty Summer's house right now.

[Effie]

You mean Monty Summer's a black man?

[Sam Spade]

I looked up his address this afternoon just in case. He lives at 390 Riker Ave. Come on, Annie, let's Go.

[Effie]

So long, Ethelbert.

[Sam Spade]

So long. There's no Thanksgiving dinner for you two. Where's the thing through the woods the friend of this house we go the horse knows the way to carry the sleigh through this something or other Hi, other bird. Say, wasn't that Casey and Ms. Williams just leaving the Blue Note? Hello, Mr. Cullen. Yeah, that was them. Well, they didn't speak to me. Well, they was going so fast. They must not have seen you. Yeah. Why the speed? Well, they're trying to stop a safe cracker from cracking a safe he don't want to crack. I don't quite follow you, Ethelbert, but I gather that crime does not follow. Take a holiday? No, in, in. In case he figured it would, he'd promise Ms. Williams Turkey and trimmings at the Ritz. That's where he made his mistake. Mistake? Why, I'd call that a pretty sound idea for Thanksgiving Day. Making a promise to a woman, Mr. Cullen, that's always a mistake. Oh, no, Ethelbert. Tony made a promise to millions of women and it's been a great thing for everybody. You see, not many years ago, no one ever dreamed women could give themselves satisfactory permanents right at home. But Tony developed a gentle cream cold wave that they knew would give wonderful results with all types of hair. So they made a promise and backed it up with a guarantee. They said Tony will give you a permanent that lasts just as long as a 15 beauty shop wave and is guaranteed to look more natural or your money back. And women were interested. They tried to Tony and the promise came true. They found they can give themselves waves and curls with Tony that are so soft and shiny they look like naturally curly hair. So they told their friends. And what's happened? Are you asking me or is that a reader Oracle question? I guess everybody knows the answer, Ethelbert. Now, more than a million women each month use Tony home permanent. More than a million? That's a lot of women. Yes. Each month another million women give themselves lovely Tony waves. At the whale of a big house. Annie, Marty Summers lives.

[Effie]

Well, now that we're looking at it. Casey, what are you gonna do?

[Sam Spade]

Annie, we've got to think as though we planned to crack a safe here ourselves.

[Effie]

Be easiest to go in and out from the front.

[Sam Spade]

See, I think I'd come here in a car. I'd park it under one of these trees. Not directly in front of the house of course, but close enough for a.

[Effie]

Quick getaway and leave a lookout in it.

[Sam Spade]

No, no, no, I wouldn't do that. A guy sitting In a parked car might attract attention. If I don't want, I'd post a lookout. But he won't be in the car or even near it most of the time.

[Effie]

Well, now that that's decided, what do we do?

[Sam Spade]

I don't know, kid. Trying to make us think that? I'm pretty sure that Nick Reynolds will come here himself. With Biff and those rod men tonight. He'd trust nobody but himself to take that evidence out of the safe. He'll want it in his own hands. Take it away and examine it. Destroy it.

[Effie]

Well, if there's a chance of getting him. We've got to get the cops in.

[Sam Spade]

On this before they catch Biff opening the safe. In spite of everything that we could say in a guy's favor, the law says that fourth offender go up for life. We've got to catch Reynolds with the goods and at the same time keep Biff out of it.

[Effie]

It's a large order.

[Sam Spade]

Sure is. I'm afraid it's too large, kid. I can't see any way to fill it.

[Effie]

Casey, if you and I came back here at midnight and hid ourselves, when Reynolds and Biff Connors and the others come out, we can cover them with a couple of guns. We'll capture Reynolds and his gang and let Biff Connors get away.

[Sam Spade]

Annie, can you really picture you and me in a gangster movie? Act like that, we'd only get ourselves shot.

[Effie]

No, I guess we're not the right type. Why aren't we like some of the characters we see in the movies? They solve everything so easily by just drawing their trusty automatics and going bang, bang, bang.

[Sam Spade]

Wish we were.

[Effie]

What am I, a woman or a mouse? In that western we saw last week, a gal my size captured a dozen tough caval rustlers all by herself.

[Sam Spade]

Well, her boyfriend was pretty good, too.

[Effie]

Don't forget tall, dark and handsome in the fancy pants. He was certainly a shock with a lariat, too.

[Sam Spade]

He lassoed the character who tried to steal grandpappy's beef ranch. He yanked him off his pinto pony so hard, I kind of got aching bones, miss.

[Effie]

And so easy in the movies. Oh, well, line of thinking isn't getting us anywhere.

[Sam Spade]

No, wait a minute. Maybe it is, huh?

[Effie]

Lasso.

[Sam Spade]

Man. Horse.

[Effie]

Casey. What?

[Sam Spade]

I've got an idea, Annie.

[Effie]

You have?

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Come on, get in the car. I'll tell you about it. We're on our way to borrow something that I'll need. Then I'll get to Biff Connor and tell him honestly that he has a swell chance. I really got a chance, Casey? Bet you have every chance. Tell me. Nuh, not yet. Do. Tell me about the setup for the night as you got it from Reynolds. Rodman want to meet him a couple of blocks from here, see, at 11 o' clock like I told you. That's right. They'll be in a black sedan. They'll have the tools they'll need for the safe job. Then we drive right out to the Riker Avenue house. They say the guy owns the joint won't be there. That's why the Jeff's got to be done tonight. There's only a servant in the house and he's been fixed. They don't look for any trouble there? No, they claim it'll be a set they do for a surprise. You're the only one who's not headed for trouble, Casey. Tell me what. No, no. The less you know about this whole thing, the better for you. But I want you to be sure to do three things. Yeah. First, after you open the safe, don't let any of the guys with you destroy anything they take out of it. Act scared. Insist on getting out of the house right away. Okay. All right. Now. Second, when you reach the getaway car, get into the back seat. Backseat. Yeah. Third, take a grip on the front seat and brace yourself. Brace yourself with all the muscle that you've got.

[Effie]

They've been in that house over an hour, Casey.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. These summer sake must be really tough. Reynolds had to get an expert like Biff at this job.

[Effie]

You're sure it was Nick Reynolds that was dog him into the house?

[Sam Spade]

Dead sure. He went in with Biff on horse face. Reynolds presence here, Annie, means that we guessed right about his deep personal interest in that safe.

[Effie]

Casey, that explosion from inside the house.

[Sam Spade]

It means Biff has had to blow him safe.

[Effie]

Well, then it's open now and he'll soon be coming out.

[Sam Spade]

That's right.

[Effie]

You're certain the lookout didn't see what you did a while ago?

[Sam Spade]

No, no, of course he didn't. It was at the end of the block across the street when I was working in the dark.

[Effie]

Well, I hope the work you did works.

[Sam Spade]

M Trust old cowboy Casey and.

[Effie]

Quiet. Quiet.

[Sam Spade]

Keep back in these shadows that are.

[Effie]

Coming from the house now, and fast. Reynolds is carrying a briefcase.

[Sam Spade]

I see it. Look out. Set himself in the car.

[Effie]

He's going to drive. Started the motor.

[Sam Spade]

As soon as the others get in, I'll help him make a good fast getaway.

[Effie]

If he doesn't start that car.

[Sam Spade]

Leave that to me. The others are in the car.

[Effie]

Now, Reynolds has taken the front seat beside the driver. That's perfect. Now they're all in.

[Sam Spade]

It's time for me to impersonate a cop. Here goes. Hey, you fellas in that car.

[Effie]

You made the driver step on the gasket.

[Sam Spade]

Ain't hard. It won't be long now.

[Effie]

That did it. Work, Casey. The scheme worked.

[Sam Spade]

Couldn't fail. Come on, we got to get Biff out of this.

[Effie]

Hope.

[Sam Spade]

He braced him.

[Effie]

Yeah, well, if he didn't. Oh, look, a man's calling from under the.

[Sam Spade]

Okay, fella. That's me. What happened to the car? There's nothing in front of us. There's nothing there now. Suddenly, the thing stopped like we hit a stone wall. I see your three playmates went half through the windshield. Yeah, they're out cold.

[Effie]

Casey. What?

[Sam Spade]

Never mind. You haven't got time to ask any questions. Now, around that corner, you'll find a black Ford coupe. Here's the key. Get in, drive home quick as you can. If anybody ever asks, you say you've never been near Riker Avenue. Come on, Biff, get going, quick. Okay, pal, whatever you say. But I'd sure like to know what.

[Effie]

Happened to that car.

[Sam Spade]

See what the sleeping Mr. Reynolds has in his briefcase.

[Effie]

Yeah, I want to see.

[Sam Spade]

A lot of letters, canceled checks, photographs. All incriminating, I imagine. Now, Annie, we'll call the cops and.

[Effie]

Then, Casey, you think a gal may safely hope for a bite of dinner? For soft water shampooing, use Tony Cream Shampoo Even in the hardest water. Tony Cream Shampoo.

[Sam Spade]

Yes, even in the hardest water. Tony Cream Shampoo gives soft water shampooing that rinses away dandruff instantly Leaves hair so soft, so smooth, so shining clean today bring out the sparkling beauty of your hair with soft water shampooing. Get the handy tube or jar of Tony Cream Shampoo. It's. Foreign. I'm terribly sorry we can't get you and Casey. Nothing better out of the kitchen than this cold turkey, Ms. Williams. But, of course, the cooks left hours ago.

[Effie]

Oh, I just love cold turkey, Ethelbert. And at this hour in the morning. So much nicer than the dinner I expected to have at the Riff.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, well, I'm awful sorry, honey. I. I certainly gummed up your day. Didn't.

[Effie]

Don't you ever know when I'm kidding, Casey. I've had a swell day, a real day for Thanksgiving, because we accomplished something worthwhile.

[Sam Spade]

Your palate. Say, you ain't told me yet how you made that car stop like it had hit a Stone wall. You've seen a lot of Wild west movies, Ethelbert. Sure.

[Effie]

Well then you've seen men pulled off running horses with lassos?

[Sam Spade]

Lots of times. And the horse always kept on running. Yeah. Well now imagine the horse was lassoed, not the rider. The horse had stopped there and his.

[Effie]

Rider would keep on going over its head.

[Sam Spade]

That's what happened to the crook's getaway car. You lassoed that car, Casey. I don't amounted to that.

[Effie]

Casey brought a very strong 150 foot steel cable out there, Ethelbert.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, with a hook at both ends.

[Effie]

In the darkness he hooked one end of his cable to the axle of that car and the other end to a big tree.

[Sam Spade]

And I made a noise like a cop to startle the driver into a good fast start.

[Effie]

And when the cable paid out to. Oh, I get it.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. And. And the only reason Biff Connors wasn't knocked through the windshield like the others was cuz he braced himself. Like you saw it. That's right. Even he was a little dazed when he climbed out though.

[Effie]

Anyway, Reynolds and his mob are all washed up thanks to the stuff in that briefcase. They can't hurt Viv Connors or anyone else.

[Sam Spade]

You two had quite a holiday?

[Effie]

A grand one. Oh, have some more cold turkey, Casey.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, I think I will, Annie. And it didn't cost you anything. You saved money by not going to the movies, to the rich for dinner until a play after. Well, sure, that's right. Yeah, you can't eat all the dough you got on you. Of course not. Huh. I hate the done a friend case you. But there's a little matter of that long overdue October bill and you gotcha, Casey.

[Effie]

I'm dead to write.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, if this isn't an ending for a grand day here, I've been roped in myself. Well, as my sister Edna says, quote, if you give a calf enough rope, he can't be led to wool. No, no, you can lead a calf before he cross. I'll be darned if I don't forget it. Unquote. Well, all right, pal. After that, here's what I owe you. Happy Thanksgiving.

[Effie]

Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving, Ethelbert.

[Sam Spade]

Happy Thanksgiving to all. Crime Photographer starring Stots Cotsworth as Casey is directed by John Deets. It's written by Alonzo Dean Cole and is based on the fictional character of Flash Gun Casey. Created by George Harmon Cox, original music by Archie Blier and The program features Ms. Jan Miner as Anne and John Gibson as Ethelbert. Herman Chittison is the Blue Note pianist. This. This is Bill Cullen asking you to listen again next week at this same time to another exciting adventure of crime photographer. And also inviting you to listen to this is Nora Drake Radio's thrilling serial romance. Heard every Monday through Friday, 2:30pm New York time over most of these stations. Both of these programs brought to you each week by Tony Home Permanent. The wave that gives that natural look. And the new Tony Cross Cream shampoo for soft water Shampooing even in the hardest water. This is CBS, where 99 million people gather every week. The Columbia Broadcasting System. How much did Mr. Benny's turkey weigh? What kind of a trial is this? She was the turkey of 29 pounds in the barnyard she made all the rounds. Now there were 29 chickens as crazy as the dickens of the turkey of 29 pounds. She left 29 broken eggs. She had feathers all over her legs and brother, I am not bluffing. You ought to see the stuffing in the turkey. At £29 she was a gob, gob gobbling baby A new kind of bird from the West. She'll make wonderful gravy if you're not careful. It's on your best. She ate 29 bushels of corn since the 29 weeks she was born. She looks so lovely on your table with her legs like Betty Grable. She's a turkey of £29. Oh, gobble, gobble. She left 29 broken eggs. She had feathers all over her legs and brother, I am not bluffing. You ought to see the stuffing in the turkey of 29 pounds. She was the turkey of 29 pounds in the barnyard she made all around. Now there were 29 chickens as crazy as the dickens. Found the turkey at £29 she was a gob, gob gobbling baby A new kind of bird from the West. She'll make wonderful gravy if you're not careful it's on your vest. She ate 29 bushels of corn since the 29 weeks she was born. She looks so lovely on your table with her legs like Betty Grable. She's a turkey of £29. Oh, gobble, gobble. She's a turkey of £29. Oh, Gobble, gobble. The turkey of 29 pound. Personal notice changes my stock and trade. If the job's too tough for you to handle, you've got a job for me. George Valentine. Write full details. Standard Oil Company of California, on behalf of independent Chevron gas stations and Standard stations throughout the west, invites you to let George do it. Cause for Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Another adventure of George Valentine. Hello, dear. Mr. Valentine. What? Hello? Quiet. I'm 10 years old. Is that you? Well, it's not Tom Turkey. Listen, my friend, I'm sure it's not. What's that 10 year old stuff? Hey, you've been jumping the gun on the cranberry sauce. All right, all right, all right, I'll say it straight. I'm phoning on behalf of a little boy. 10 years old. Well, that's better. No, it's not. It's worse. Said little boy could no more write you a letter than he could hope to choke. I doubt if he can write. What's the matter? He can't talk either. You hurt me. I said he can't talk. Oh, I don't mean there's anything wrong with him. Or maybe there is, I don't know. But look, Valentine, get over here, will you Ride away to my house? Well, sure. But I warn you, friend, this little boy never heard of Thanksgiving. If you're going to help him, you better bring your brass knuckles.

[Effie]

Where is he, Lieutenant?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, Mrs. Riley's got him in there trying to coax him to eat. But the only time he'll take a bite is when she's turned her back. Oh, is he? Where'd you get him? One of the boys in my department picked him up early this morning at 3am on the waterfront. The warehouse lane. Oh, I see. A little on the tough side, huh? Oh, they all are down there like a bunch of dirty seagulls and scavengers running loose. We can't even find out who he belongs to.

[Effie]

Maybe nobody. Normally 10 years old.

[Sam Spade]

Listen, this sergeant of mine in a squad car nearly runs him down. See, the kid was racing across the empty street, not even looking. Well, Mike gets out to help. Naturally, the kid wasn't hurt, but he swung on him. He tried to get away, scared to death and clawed and scratched. And then Mike realized the kid wasn't talking. Not a sound. Now, that's the part I don't care. Clear it up, will you? Rally. Well, Mike couldn't even find out where he lives, so we brought him in. My friends, that boy hasn't spoken one single solitary word since. Hardly a noise out of him. Oh, except maybe to cry a little. Only he stops that when you look at him.

[Effie]

But Lieutenant, he's probably a mute.

[Sam Spade]

Two doctors were out from juvenile hall to look at him. One of them said the kid's faking, but they both agree there's nothing wrong with his vocal cords. What's the other doctor say? Psychic shock.

[Effie]

Oh, you mean he can't talk because of something that happened to him?

[Sam Spade]

Well, they're not sure. They say it'll take time to be sure. I've arranged for the hall at take him over to try to find his family, if there is one, to feed him and. But that takes time. Like you say, days. Now, now you get it, pal. And the doc says it'll help him a lot better if we could work fast. Because the most likely thing is that last night he saw something was mixed up in something that scared the blue blazes out of him and he was running away. Little before 3am last night I saw something. Yeah, but what? Nothing happened down there. Nothing was reported. My department can't just go bursting into a. Huh. Well, hello there, silly. Hello. You finally ate something, did you, big eye?

[Effie]

He listens, but he doesn't listen.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, Come on in here, son. Come on. These are friends of mine, see? Ah, now, wait a minute. Don't jump like that. I'm not going to bite you. Come on in here. What time is it, huh?

[Effie]

1:45.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, good. Hey, look, kid, how about coming with me? I've got an extra ticket to the big football game. Well, I'll get you to meet Big Mike Miralevski, the All American. Maybe you can even sit on the bench with a team, huh?

[Effie]

George, he's just more frightened. He's crying.

[Sam Spade]

You see, you can't get him interested.

[Effie]

In anything but a boy in a football game. I think the doctor's.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, it's Thanksgiving. I mean, a kid belongs in somebody's home on Thanksgiving. Well, are you gonna just sit there, Valentine? I know, Softy, I know. We've got work to do and fast. Come on, Brooksie, take the kid's hand. We're gonna go straight at this at the waterfront front. Warehouse lane. Great place. Funny.

[Effie]

Afraid is tied up, but no people.

[Sam Spade]

Ship jammers. You must have spent some time around there, haven't you, kid? How about the candy store?

[Effie]

You're wasting your time. George just seems to get more and more tense.

[Sam Spade]

Well, this is where he was picked up, right here.

[Effie]

Oh, relax, honey.

[Sam Spade]

Don't just sit there running from right to left. So he must have come from this way. Okay, let's move on. A little cobblestone by the empty warehouse.

[Effie]

Huh, George, look at him. This direction.

[Sam Spade]

Right.

[Effie]

George, look out for that boy in the street. He's not right side of street, jerk.

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Effie]

Lovely neighborhood. I wonder if that boy would know anything about our friend here.

[Sam Spade]

That's an idea. Wait a second. Hey, you, shorty.

[Effie]

Oh, you want an idea about It. Yeah. Jerk knows.

[Sam Spade]

Come here.

[Effie]

Let's arm. Hey.

[Sam Spade]

Hey, Shorty. Shorty, wait. George.

[Effie]

George, come here. I'm having an awful time.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, look. Kid. Kid, stop it, will ya?

[Effie]

He wants to run too. George. Yeah.

[Sam Spade]

Now easy. That's better. He'll get away from us if I try to catch up with that Shorty. Look, Brooksie. Look. There's a settlement house over there. Murphy's. You know him? Take the kid over there and wait for me, would you?

[Effie]

Sure, George. Maybe they'll know something about it.

[Sam Spade]

I doubt at 3am last night the father out there in the pier is where it happened, whatever it was. So me, I'm gonna take it on foot. By my yourself. All right, Shorty, I got you this.

[Effie]

Got your paws off.

[Sam Spade]

Cut it out. I just want to ask you something. You know that other kids kid I had back in the car there? You know his name?

[Effie]

I never seen him before. I ain't done nothing.

[Sam Spade]

What's your name?

[Effie]

I don't know. Let go.

[Sam Spade]

You kids running loose out here by the ships?

[Effie]

Last night I was up on the moon eating cheese. Let me go.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, brother. Great try, aren't you? Stick together, never tell anybody anything. Oh, no, kid. I'm not a cop or anything. I just want to find. Hang on to him there. Don't let him lose. Oh, no you don't, Shorty. I got you. Hey, don't let him loose. There we are. Hold him. Let me go through his pockets. Hey. Hey, wait a minute there, skipper. What are you talking about? Lots of cigars. Left him out on deck. Stolen.

[Effie]

Stolen sign and stealing.

[Sam Spade]

He hasn't got anything. No, he's too big anyway. Not the one. Not what? Go on, Shorty, get out of here. You're no help.

[Effie]

I told you, jerk.

[Sam Spade]

No water rats. Same the world all over. All the same. Good cigars too. First mate give them to me so I'd let him stay uptown. Wait a minute, stupid. Wait a minute. Were you looking for another kid? No. Well, yes. Something stolen last night. You mean during the night. Cigars? No, no. This afternoon. A few minutes ago. Come up like. Like rats. Open the horses. I tell you, it's awful. Marseille, it was my last port. Same thing. Save the world over. Nobody stops. Nobody can stop them. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute, skipper. This your ship tied up here? Yeah. Leaky old tub full of potatoes. Frenchmen like potatoes. Looks about ready to sail. Were you here last night? What are you peddling? Dope, Punch boards, Cheap liquor? No, no. Listen, would you. You have trouble with kids getting aboard huh? Characters like you in every part too. Doc Lord always got a deal. Sure, I'm trouble. That's the customs pier watchman. Nobody can stop them. You see those big rat guards right over them like monkeys. Did some kids get aboard your ship last night? No, no, no. Stop pestering me. Are you sure? Around 3am Fight was on the pier, not the ship. What fight? Oh, that's the pier watchman. He's the one spreading the story. Couple of bombs, I guess. I don't know. My old deck watch was sound asleep. Of course, you didn't see it. No. Yeah, I. I don't know. Woke me up. I yelled, shut up. Out of my porthole. Went back to sleep.

[Effie]

Ah, hello. Then escape away.

[Sam Spade]

I'm so glad to catch you. Ah, now, a sailor comes ashore. I'm just gonna take a minute. You bought a woman, you see. Oh, that I see. And, oh, so nice. But right now I want that man. Doclope was all trying to sell something. Now it's telling. Go on, baldy, get out of here. Wait a minute. I've seen this guy before. Yeah, well, it's not neutral, Skip. If you just listen. Salvori, I'll tell you. Yeah, I've seen him in lineups. Are you around here last night? I beg your pardon? Oh, it's a great neighborhood. Salvori, the big operator. Last trip he was here selling raffle tickets for a free wheeled automobile. Oh, but escape a. Listen, give what they say. Well, thanks and good night. You press to him. I'm going backwards. Yeah, look at that, would you? That what you wanted to see us about? Salvary? That crowd down at the pier, something. No, no, no, no.

[Effie]

I got a no deal to make.

[Sam Spade]

Come on, let's take a look.

[Effie]

Afternoon, friends.

[Sam Spade]

What's going on?

[Effie]

Don't spare 50 cents is all. An old pal of mine, see? You're gonna buy me Thanksgiving dinner, you see.

[Sam Spade]

Never mind. What are those men doing down by the water?

[Effie]

Fishing, son? Eh, 50 cents is about all it would take, though, you see. Now, this old pal of mine, he would have spent five bucks, you know, mince pie and the works, you know.

[Sam Spade]

That'S the last night.

[Effie]

Hey, hey, down there.

[Sam Spade]

Listen, buster, did you say last night?

[Effie]

Yeah.

[Sam Spade]

What are you doing?

[Effie]

Hey, sailor, now. Yeah, now it seems to me that hell about that.

[Sam Spade]

Well, he left in a hurry, didn't he? Got a body. What? Just fishing him out. Guy floating with a knife in him. Guy floating? Yeah, with a knife. Holy smok.

[Effie]

See, that's what I tell you. You see, a pal of Mine. He was going to buy me a Thanksgiving dinner, see? Only instead it looks like he got in a fight about 3am last night, I figure. Yeah, got murdered, see? So tell me how. It's about the 50 cent.

[Sam Spade]

We'll return to tonight's adventure of George Valentine in just a moment. When new RPM motor oil was developed in the laboratory. It was subjected to the most rigidly controlled test that modern research could devise and improve. The tops the oil that doubles engine life. Between major overhauls due to lubrication. The next question was, would it live up to these tests in your car tonight you'll hear the answer from the crews of two actual test cars in the heart of downtown San Francisco. Following is a special transcription made during the road test period. We switch you to test unit number one. And research supervisor Carl Watson in San Francisco. We are making rather slow progress heading west along Market Street. Test unit number two is behind us in the traffic. We're driving under the same kind of stop and go conditions that you do the toughest kind on engine wear. It's our job to see if new RPM will back up our laboratory findings. I'll switch you now to research engineer Bob Burchell in unit number two. He'll tell you about these special cars and the data we are recording from the instruments. Go ahead, Bob. This is Bob Burchill. The engines in this test car and test unit number one ahead of us are both equipped with irradiated piston rings just like those in our laboratory test engine. They also have Geiger counters attached so that we can hear and record where as it actually takes place. We are making a comparison test. Test unit one is using new rpm but in this car we have a well known conventional oil in the crankcase. It is one of the best premium type oils. Naturally, I can't reveal its brand name. Now I'll hold the microphone closer to the Geyer counter which detects minute particles and metal as they wear off the irradiated piston ring. Hear that rapid clicking? That means a comparatively high rate of engine wear. Now I'll switch you back to Carl Watson for a comparison with new RPM motor oil. Come in, test unit number one. This is Watson again. You hear that slow click of the Geiger counter? That is an outstanding low wear rate count. It's new RPM under the same conditions as the premium type oil you heard about a moment ago. Day in and day out, mile after mile, the counters have clicked off the same story. The results we got in the laboratory tests on new RPM motor oil are checking out on the road approved in the laboratory supported in severe road service. That's new RPM motor oil. The oil that cuts the in half the wear rate of critical engine parts doubles engine life between major overhauls due to lubrication. Try it. Sold with a money back guarantee of satisfaction at independent Chevron gas stations and standard stations where they say and mean we take better care of your car. And now back to tonight's adventure of George Valentine. A boy 10 years old who's been scared to death who either can't or won't talk. Well, if your name is George Valentine, you begin to understand the reason when you see the neighborhood in which he was picked up by the police. You understand a good deal more when you see that the body of a man has been fished out of the water off the pier. Yes, now, it's certainly a case for Lieutenant Riley. Oh, but what a case. They don't get solved around here, my friend. They just happen. Okay, Riley. Did your boys pick up that bomb? The guy who sniffed? Oh, he won't know anything. Nobody does. The name of the corpse is Lefty Sims. Well, you seem to know something. Well, every. Everybody knew him. He's a common thief, that's all. Few big jobs, but nothing to steal down here. He usually worked the city. This wasn't his territory. The doc says the times about right. Been dead since last night around 3 or 4. Maybe killed and then tossed in the water. What about the pier watchman? He must. He covers five warehouses. How could he see anything? And everybody off duty for the holiday. Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute, huh? Ronnie, what's this thing where the fight happened? Spot of blood, I figure. No, no, look. Look closer. Powder. Little pieces of broken glass. What? Hey, here's some more of it. Yeah. Oh, doctor. Yeah, yeah, Doc, come over here, will you? Yeah, sure, Lieutenant. You thinking what I am, Riley? Yeah, what is it? Hey, here, take a look. White powder. And on a pier. Where?

[Effie]

Boats.

[Sam Spade]

No, it's not. Huh? Talking about dope, aren't you? Yeah, yeah, I don't think so. False alarm, huh, Doc? Well, it might explain why there was a fight. What was going on out here? Something of value. Yes, yes, of course. Smuggling, you think, huh? Peddling? Yes. I'll. I'll do the thinking. Document, Perhaps you know, something like that. Now I can run a test. Valuable? Didn't I say that? Drug. Drug of some kind. Cure people. People instead of making them sick. Worth a lot more than dope, too. Easier to market. Yeah, yeah, same thing. Only more in the big time. Did that watchman say there were any kids on the pier last night? H. Valentine. I'm trying to get the doc here to talking. Did the watchman see any kids? No. Okay. So long. Wish I could help you, Ms. Brooks.

[Effie]

That's all right, Mr. Murphy. Come on, son.

[Sam Spade]

The settlement house here is pretty badly undermanned. Cleveland woman will be back tomorrow. She might know something about the buy here. But in this.

[Effie]

Thanks again. Come on, sonny. Car is parked over this way.

[Sam Spade]

Roxy.

[Effie]

Well, it's about time.

[Sam Spade]

Come on, get out of the street, you and the kid.

[Effie]

What?

[Sam Spade]

Never mind. Any place here. Duck in the alley. In this neighborhood, angel. I don't want to. Who's? I don't know. Packing crate. She can't see. He's gone now.

[Effie]

George, what's happened? What's going on?

[Sam Spade]

Simple, Brooksie. Nice, simple case. My guess is the kid here was an eyewitness to murder. It'll be a simple case if he isn't murdered. Oh, kid, please talk. Please. Tell me what you. What did you see last night? Look, nobody's gonna hurt you. I won't let him. But you must have seen things like this plenty of times before, kid. I don't mean murder. But you grew up in a tough place. And you're not gonna do anybody any good if you just.

[Effie]

Yes. He just cried, George. I'm taking him home. You can solve your own fancy waterfront.

[Sam Spade]

Murdered. Okay, I'll leave him alone. But which one are you covering for, kid? Only a few men around that pier last night. Which one? Is that important to you? All right. Maybe you've given me the answer at that. Without talking. Ah, says you. You admitted you saw your old pal Lefty, didn't you? Before he was murdered? I. Come on, Riley. Along the deck.

[Effie]

Now, look, I. I promised me a nice Thanksgiving dinner. You see, Lefty, dad, see, can pass walking up to the pier and never come back.

[Sam Spade]

But didn't he say who he was coming out to meet? Didn't he? Here we are. Riley. Let's go in here. Hey, Skipper, this your cabin? What? Oh, no, no. Mine's four ways. It's all right, the owner's. Nobody ever used it. Just want a place to talk.

[Effie]

Already said all I'm gonna say.

[Sam Spade]

Come on. You too, skipper. The name is Stogue, isn't it? Yeah. Well, wait a minute. Here's the other one. Bring him in here, Sergeant. Let go. Let go. Mr. Salvori. Now I have to stand. Rats on my ship, huh? Picked him up in the neighborhood, Skipper. That's all for now, Sergeant. What about the Kid Valentine. Oh, he's all right, Riley. I. I left him in my car out on the street. So, because my name is Salvora, you think you were around here last night, too? Weren't you always around as dock loafers would deal? Yeah, but don't try to cover up so much, Skipper. What? Now, listen, all of you. We can't find anybody else with a chance of being out here last night but you three. I was on my ship. Talk to this peddler. I said don't cover so much. Salvori's a friend of yours?

[Effie]

Sure, sure.

[Sam Spade]

Everybody is Salvor's friend. Accept the law. Now, look, this is a smuggle case. A what? Not on my ship. I've never brought it. Lefty, the man who was killed knew his way around the city. Salvori, you're the big waterfront middleman. And, captain, you've got a boat. See what I mean?

[Effie]

Cops.

[Sam Spade]

They got brains enough to spot an ideal setup for smuggling. Captain Stove, you bring it in, Salvori picks it up, gets through customs, and Lefty fitted in someplace in the city.

[Effie]

I think you're crazy.

[Sam Spade]

Somebody was waiting a little while ago to waylay Ms. Brooks and a kid who was an eyewitness. Brooks. Brooks. Skipper, you're too fat to run down an alley like he did. Sure, I heard his steps. Snippy. Just shuffles. So tag, Salvori, you're it. Because now I know why you ran the first time when we saw the body. It's what proves you guys work together. Now, I know you crazy because on the pier earlier, you came up yelling to the skipper, something about a woman. Well, the woman must have been Ms. Brooks. You'd seen her with a boy. The witness the two of you have been trying to find. Sure, Skipper. You were looking for boys when I first met you, too, weren't you? My cigars. That's all my cigars. Never mind, Salvori. The kid out there is going to give us the whole story, and a lot straighter than you ever would. Because I finally figured out his whole story. I never been mixed up in an Osmozer. Sure, and never in a fight or used a knife. Why did you do it, Lefty? Try a double cross on you, too? You're under arrest for murder, Savory. Come on. I'll take him out for you. Riley, you take the other two.

[Effie]

But I'm not mixed up in this.

[Sam Spade]

Material witness and accessory for you, Captain. Oh, please. Please, no. Come on. Come on out the door. Meet you on the pier, Riley. Hey, you. Salvary. Wait a second. Nobody's going to rest. Shamori. Grab him, you idiot. Come on. There he goes. Down the flank. Yeah, headed farther up on the pier, up toward the warehouse. Algorithm. Do you think the sergeant saw him? Yeah, sure, sure. He'll get him all right. Well, that was a nice act. Yeah, good idea. Now, come on. Car's back the other way. Yeah. Hey, hey, did you notice that empty cabin on the ship? Yeah, grease stains on the pillow. Empty, huh? I'll bet Salvo's even been traveling with the skipper. Sure, it's a smuggling ring, all right. Still confused, aren't you? Raleigh, huh? Oh, it was originally a smuggle, sure. Never mind. You'll never prove anything on this bunch unless you catch him in the act and rally. We're going to do just that. Well, it's the only car in the street. We're close enough. But it's been five minutes already. Valentine, if this hunt of yours is going to pay off at better, sir, give us time to run the other way, hasn't he?

[Effie]

I don't see how you can.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, no. I didn't expect a gun. Come on, come on. Around the side of the building. That's my car, Riley. I hope somebody's gonna pay for it. Hold it. Hold it.

[Effie]

There he is.

[Sam Spade]

You're wasting your time, Skipper. The car is empty. You hear me? The kids uptown. It was a trap, Skipper. Careful, careful. He's got the corner of the building there to duck behind. The only one who'd stick his neck into our trap is the one who did the stabbing, right? The one who has to get rid of the kid. The witness. So we don't even need to ask the kid, now, do we? Look out. I got him.

[Effie]

Lieutenant Riley? Still at the hospital, George. He says he'll get his confession since that's still all right.

[Sam Spade]

Keep it down, will you? The kids in there? I'm trying out a system. We write each other notes. What about the smuggle stuff, Those drugs. They searched the ship yet?

[Effie]

Yes, they've already found some drugs hidden. But I don't understand. What did you say?

[Sam Spade]

Writing notes. What don't you understand? How the smuggle worked for the thief. A middleman and a skipper involved. The drugs that couldn't be sold in this country except through the proper channels, but would sell for a fortune in Europe or on the black market.

[Effie]

Oh, you mean it was to be smuggled out of the country?

[Sam Spade]

That's right. Bookson and Lefty, the guy who was killed, stole the drugs and delivered them last night. But he got A knife instead of a payoff and the kid sort.

[Effie]

George, you mean the boy talked? He's all right.

[Sam Spade]

I guess he will be. See, I was afraid he was. Well, maybe the skipper's son or something.

[Effie]

Yeah, I know that psychic shock is refusal to talk.

[Sam Spade]

But he's not. He's only known him for a few weeks. Kid didn't even know where he fitted into the plan until a few days ago.

[Effie]

Oh, George, for heaven's sake.

[Sam Spade]

He doesn't have any parents books. He's just a waterfront kid. But not nearly as tough as the eggs. What's missing in the smuggle set of. There's customs on the other side. You know who gets the goods into the other country off the ship?

[Effie]

The boy, you mean. He was a part of.

[Sam Spade]

Nobody can stop him. All over the world, up and down like monkeys. Perfect, isn't it? Yeah. If you'd been with me, you should have noticed. Empty cabin on the ship with grease stains on a pillow. But Salvori is bald. We better buy some shampoo for that kid.

[Effie]

By the way, he was a boy. Dutch.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. He saw the captain go ashore to meet Salvori. And Lefty saw the murder. Then he broke out and got away.

[Effie]

George, let me talk to him. This ridiculous business of riding.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, sure, he'll talk now. Just been scared to death, that's all. All he wanted was to be happy. He was expecting to be happier than he'd ever been before.

[Effie]

George, if you don't stop playing clairvoyant.

[Sam Spade]

Well, the captain's the only one who could have brought the kid. Therefore made him afraid. Made him run ashore. Therefore. Brooksie, the skipper, was it? Well, don't you remember how the kid reacted when I asked him to go to a football game? Just puzzled.

[Effie]

Georgie is writing.

[Sam Spade]

Sure. Sure he is. Gives me more time to look the words up in the dictionary.

[Effie]

Hello, Mamzel.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, sure, Angel. That's why I wouldn't talk before he wants to stay in this country. Afraid we'd find him out. He's from Marseille. He's French, Woody.

[Effie]

Marseille. Hey, friends. Here, give me the pencil and the dictionary. You think you could stand a turkey dinner, George? Turkey? Oui.

[Sam Spade]

One language. I guess it is Thanksgiving, isn't it? And now we got a pilgrim on our hands, Angel. A hungry little pilgrimage. Tonight. Earlier in the program, you heard how road tests jived with laboratory results in the development of new RPM motor oil. You have been taken step by step along the path, followed by our scientists in bringing you this new oil years ahead of its time. From the first survey to determine what the ideal motor oil should be through the ultimate proof in an automobile engine. You've heard the new RPM story firsthand. Now discover it yourself firsthand. It's sold with a money back guarantee of satisfaction at Standard stations and independent Chevron gas stations where they say and mean, we take better care of your car. Tonight's adventure of George Valentine has been brought to you by Standard Oil Co. Of California on behalf of independent Chevron gas stations and Standard stations throughout the West. Robert Daly has starred as George with Virginia Greg as Brooksie. Let George do it is written by David Victor and Jackson Gillis and directed by Don Clark. Wally Mayer is Lieutenant Riley. Alan Reed was heard as Stogue, Dick Ryan as Sniffy, Anthony Barrett as Salvori, Jeffrey Silver as Shorty and Stephen Chase as the doctor. The music is composed and presented by Eddie Dunst. Center. Your announcer, John Hen. Listen again next week, same time, same station, to Let George Do It. Your Community Chest helps care for homeless and neglected children in your own neighborhood. Community Chest Child care centers operate year round. This year, make sure you give enough to your Community Chest to help all year. This is the Mutual Don Lee Broadcasting System. November, 1621. By now, the white man has arrived in great numbers. Not only at Miami, but at Jamestown, at Plymouth and at Salem, Massachusetts. The Puritans have established a thriving colony enjoying all the social and cultural refinements of a modern society. Hiya, Harp. Who are you taking to the witch burning Saturday night? Prudence Adams. Who are you taking to the Rotary Club luncheon? I haven't got a date yet, but I hear it's gonna be quite a spread. Well, Mayor Pennypacker, how's it look for reelection? Great, great, great. Never looked better. Yeah? What about the Indian vote? What do you mean by that? Well, you're not too popular with the Indians. They could lose you the election. That's possible. Well, they outnumber us. That's the trouble. You give them an inch and they take over. But, Mayor, they were here before we were. We moved in on them, so we did. Well, there's just something about them. They wear funny shoes. They don't even have buckles on them. Be that as it may, election is Friday. You better make some gesture this week. Like what? Well, how about if you make a concession and pick an Indian as a running mate? You'd be sure to carry the Indian block. What? Anything happened to me, you'd have a mayor that wasn't a Puritan. He'd probably take orders directly from Chief Powhatan say I got it. The big luncheon tomorrow. The one under the trees. What about it? We'll ask an Indian. That'll impress the rest of them. We could even announce you're going to put one in your cabinet. No need to go that far. Just have one to lunch. It'll be great press. Mayor Pennypacker comes out for equality, justice, votes. What a slogan. Take an Indian to lunch this week. Show him we're a regular bunch this week show him we're as liberal as can be. Let him know he's almost as good as we. Make a feathered friend feel fed this week Overlook the fact he's red this week Let him share our Quaker oats. Cause he's useful when he votes. Take an Indian 2 lunch 2, 4, 6, 8 who do we tolerate? Indians, Indians. Rock, rock, rock.

[Effie]

Take an Indian to lunch this week. Let him sit right down and munch.

[Sam Spade]

This week let's give in and I'll do the brotherhood bit. Just make sure we don't make a habit of it. Take an Indian to dine this week show him we don't draw the line this week we know everyone can't be as a Mary as we after all, we came over on the Mayflower. Take an Indian Not a wooden Indian, but a real life Indian to lunch. Needless to say, the luncheon there under the trees was a great success. And a good time was had by Puritans and Indian alike. Everything came off beautifully with the exception of one minor catastrophe. What do you mean? You cook the turkey, Charlie? Well, I cooked the turkey, that's all. You put our national bird in the oven, is that correct? Yeah, well, I had our mouth set for roast eagle with all the trimming. Yeah, well, I did a thing like. Well, the two birds were lying there side by side. The turkey was for the centerpiece, Charlie. I mean, well, they look so much alike, we blew it. Now they're all sitting down at the table out there. Yeah, yeah. Started on their little nut cups already. We just have to switch the birds, that's all. Yeah, well, serve them t turkey instead of eagle. But it's kind of scrawny looking, isn't it? Yeah, well, I thought I'd stuff some old bread in it and make it look a little fatter. You do that. Okay. Okay. The National Broadcasting Company presents the adventures of Sam Spade Detective.

[Effie]

Sam Spay Detective Agency.

[Sam Spade]

Tis I, sweetheart. Sam.

[Effie]

Oh, I was worried to death. This office. Glass all over the floor, holes in the wall.

[Sam Spade]

That was just business going on as usual during altercations F. Well, what was.

[Effie]

It all about, Sam?

[Sam Spade]

They tried. If he just tried to pluck my feathers and cook my goose on Thanksgiving.

[Effie]

Too, how could they?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, they were a mean lot.

[Effie]

Are you all right?

[Sam Spade]

Hail and arty. Every giblet in place and not a feather ruffled. Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?

[Effie]

Oh, it was heavenly. Mama had a turkey dinner. Sage dressing, cranberry sauce, candied yams, hard.

[Sam Spade]

Cider, a little come clean. Effie?

[Effie]

Well, I, I, I had two glasses. Everyone was there. Cousin Gertie, Dwight, Mrs. Floss. I was disappointed when you didn't show up. Sam, did you have Thanksgiving dinner?

[Sam Spade]

Sure.

[Effie]

Where?

[Sam Spade]

At the Helping Hand Rescue Mission, where there's plenty of free parking and never a cover charge. For further details, consult the report, which I will presently be down to dictate on a tasty chronicle of foul play. The Terrified Turkey Caper. For NBC. William Spear, Radio's Outstanding Producer, Director of Mystery and Crime Drama, brings you the greatest private detective of them all in the adventures of Sam Spade.

[Effie]

Sam Spade?

[Sam Spade]

Oh, you were waiting for me having.

[Effie]

Thanksgiving dinner at a rescue mission when Mama cooked a perfectly wonderful.

[Sam Spade]

Thank your mother for me. F. Tell her I'll be over to break wishbones with her tonight. And to atone for my social indifferences, here's a little something I brought for you.

[Effie]

Oh, Sam, you shouldn't have. It's beautiful. What is it?

[Sam Spade]

A blunderbuss.

[Effie]

A blunder what?

[Sam Spade]

Bus. As in, step to the rear of.

[Effie]

Oh. Well, what does it do?

[Sam Spade]

Shoot. Seth, It's a gun. Our founding fathers used it in foraging for feathered food when they settled this abundant continent. And it's to do with what you will.

[Effie]

Where did you get it?

[Sam Spade]

Pencil boy?

[Effie]

Yes, Sam, but who gave it to. Oh, yes, but I don't know.

[Sam Spade]

Knees crossed.

[Effie]

Did you meet a founding father?

[Sam Spade]

Don't peek. Date? November 24, 1952. Detective Lieutenant I.C. kelsey, Homicide Detail, San Francisco police. From Samuel Spade, license number 137596. Subject Turkey. Dear Kelsey, this was a big week for the cranberry pickers, the butchers, the sagemakers and the stomach pill people. But for private detectives, it was strictly from hunger. My office door opened only twice a day. Once to let me in and once to let me out. And when on Wednesday, I heard a knock on the door, I went into a paroxysm of delight. Come in, come in, come in. Andre, vous entre Eusted a rhyme. When I ran out of languages, I got up from behind the desk, walked to the door and opened it standing There was a small, middle aged man with a pink bald head. His blue serge suit needed pressing and he was nervously fingering a strawberry birthmark under his left ear.

[Effie]

Mr. Samuel Speight?

[Sam Spade]

I am.

[Effie]

May I. May I have a moment?

[Sam Spade]

You may have several, but not in the corridor. It's not in my lease.

[Effie]

Oh, I'll come in.

[Sam Spade]

Good, good, good.

[Effie]

Well, you'll have to excuse me, Mr. Spade. I. I've had so few dealings with private detectives, I. I find it hard to begin. Well, I. Oh, perhaps I shouldn't have come at all. Goodbye.

[Sam Spade]

No, no, no, wait a minute. Maybe I can help you.

[Effie]

Well, you see, I. Oh, what's the use? You won't believe me. Nobody does. I'd really better.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, now, wait, wait. I'll believe you. All I ask is a chance. Now, now, let's start with your name.

[Effie]

Oh, my name. Yes, yes, yes, my name to begin with. You won't believe that, but I can verify it. Yes, I can. It's on the registration book of the Old Colony hotel in the 1943 phone book and on my old driver's license.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I'll have to know it before I can verify it.

[Effie]

Yes, yes, of course you will. It's. It's Tom.

[Sam Spade]

Well, now, that's not so hard to believe.

[Effie]

Oh, you haven't heard the rest of it. It's Tom. A turkey. You see, I told you you wouldn't believe it.

[Sam Spade]

I'd better go. Oh, now, let me be the first to believe you. Now, Mr. Tom, what's your problem?

[Effie]

Oh, dear, dear, that's even harder to explain.

[Sam Spade]

Well, now that I don't believe, but take a breath and jump into it.

[Effie]

Breath? Yes. My name is Tom Turkey and they're going to kill me for Thanksgiving.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I had asked for it and I had gotten it. And I sat back wondering who had gone from all the trouble to play this funny joke on me. I was looking at my hand to see if there was any itching powder on it where he'd shaken it when my phone rang. I lifted the receiver, swung around in my swivel and gazed out onto the street. It was Al Kuchel calling a private eye whose reputation was shadier than a mushroom seller. Hi, Spady. Haven't seen much of you lately, Spaty. Have to get together. Yeah. Well, so long. Wait, wait. I'll tell you why I called. I've had a pest in my office, keeps coming back, thinks he's a turkey somebody wants to dress. I brushed him, but your name came up and I just wanted to warn you he might be in to see you. I'm confused, Al. I never knew you to turn your back on a buck. Oh, I don't want any of this one. His buttons are loose. My advice to you is to bounce him. Well, we've never traded advice before, Cuchu. Why now? Well, after all, we're in the same racket if we can't help each other. Oh, sure, Al, sure. I appreciate it. It give me a ring. We've got to get together sometime. Yeah, when I get a free night, we'll. Jimmy. Parking meters. Yeah, we, huh? Oh, yeah. Parking meters. See you later, Spaty. I turned back to the desk and what I saw in front of me was an empty chair. Tom Turkey had taken wing. I got up and walked to the window. And a minute later I saw him come out of the building downstairs and start to cross the street. And then I saw something else. A large 4 ton truck was tearing down the street, picking up speed. Instinctively, I shouted a warning. And at the last second, Tom Turkey scrambled from in front of the truck and disappeared into the alleyway. A truck roared up the street and on its side was printed in gold letters, Haynes, you drive it. There was nothing to say it wasn't coincidence, this near mishap. But somehow I found myself intrigued and wanting to hear more of the little guy's story. He said the Old Colony Hotel. On the way, I stopped at the library. Found an old 1943 phone book and looked. He was listed. Thomas Turkey, it said. Out of curiosity, I rang the number.

[Effie]

Hello.

[Sam Spade]

I wonder if you can help me. I'm inquiring about a Mr. Turkey.

[Effie]

Turkey? This ain't his number no more.

[Sam Spade]

I know.

[Effie]

Haven't had any calls for him for years. Screwy name.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Effie]

I knew a woman named Rabbit once. Mrs. Rabbit.

[Sam Spade]

About Turkey, could you remember what he looked like?

[Effie]

I don't. Hey, Manny, what Turkey look like? Yeah, yeah. Small man, around 50. Nice fella.

[Sam Spade]

Manny says strawberry under his left ear.

[Effie]

Strawberry under his left ear, Manny? Yeah, yeah, Strawberry under his left ear.

[Sam Spade]

Well, thank you, madam, for your information and thanks to Manny.

[Effie]

Well, you're welcome, but I don't know what you're going to do with it. Old man Turkey's dead. Been dead for years.

[Sam Spade]

Curiouser and curiouser. I thought. They had described the man who came to my office 20 minutes ago. And now he'd been dead for years. I continued on to the Old colony Hotel room 75 cents, it said. Tom's room was 1 14. Who is it? Sam Spade.

[Effie]

Oh, come in, Mr. Spade, I'm. I'm sorry I ran away. I didn't think you really believed me.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I'm not sure I do yet. Tell me, was that truck an accident?

[Effie]

Oh, I don't think so.

[Sam Spade]

No.

[Effie]

They. They made three attempts before to kill me. Somebody tried to push me in front of a train, and then a wheelchair full of cement dropped off a building and just missed me. And then I was shot at.

[Sam Spade]

Who were they and why would they want to kill you?

[Effie]

I don't know. I just don't.

[Sam Spade]

No, look, let's tack, tack, tack. I dialed your old phone number and the people who answered said you're dead.

[Effie]

Oh. A lot of people think I'm dead.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Look, do you still want me to work for you?

[Effie]

Oh, yes. Yes, please.

[Sam Spade]

Well, you'll have to tell me more then. I can't.

[Effie]

I guess I'd better tell you everything.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, it's.

[Effie]

It's hard to talk about, Mr. Spade. It's not easy to admit to someone you've been a foolish man. You see, I just turned 50. I was quite tired of the life I'd led. Proper, dull and unfruitful, except in money. My business was wearing. And so was my wife, Henrietta.

[Sam Spade]

This has a traditional ring.

[Effie]

Anyway, to make it short, I decided to run away. One day I drove to work. I parked my car in the middle of the Bay Bridge where the suicide note left it and disappeared.

[Sam Spade]

Where did you go?

[Effie]

Oh, all over the world. I took a job on a boat, I did, on a boat. And then I settled in San Paulo, Brazil, under another name.

[Sam Spade]

Now you're back. Why?

[Effie]

Maybe I got lonely. Maybe I got wiser. Maybe. Maybe I felt I paid enough for my mistakes. Let's just say I'm back. I want to be with Henrietta.

[Sam Spade]

Have you seen her?

[Effie]

I checked into this hotel and wrote her a letter saying I wasn't dead. I was back in San Francisco and I. I wanted to come back to her if she still would have me. But I told her I wouldn't bother her unless she was wanted to see me. That she could contact me here. That was a week ago.

[Sam Spade]

And you haven't heard from her?

[Effie]

No, no. And almost right away, these attempts on my life began.

[Sam Spade]

I see. All right, what's her address?

[Effie]

3118 Monroe. Oh, she's taken her maiden name again. Black. Henrietta Black.

[Sam Spade]

Come on, let's go.

[Effie]

No, no, I'm not going to see her until she asks me.

[Sam Spade]

Look, you're going to my apartment. Nobody will bother you there.

[Effie]

And you're going to See Henrietta yet?

[Sam Spade]

That's right.

[Effie]

Oh, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Spade. You. You do. Believe me, I think I'm really ready to face the world again now.

[Sam Spade]

I deposited Tom in my apartment with instructions to open the door for no one but me. And then I proceeded to 3118 Monroe in the High Rent district. I was ushered through a comely portico by Japanese who told me to wait in a study heavy with mahogany. In a moment, two people came in. The woman wore a black dress, silver pendant flat shoes and a complexion the color of apple meat. She was Ms. Henrietta Black and or Mrs. Tom Turkey. The man turned out to be Leander Loose, the lady's attorney, business manager and canasta partner.

[Effie]

You say you have something important to discuss with with me, Mr. Spade?

[Sam Spade]

I do.

[Effie]

I hope you don't mind my asking Mr. Loose to be here.

[Sam Spade]

Not at all. Well, Mrs. Turkey, I've just talked to your husband, Tom. Mr. Spade, if you please, I say something.

[Effie]

A rather feeble attempt at comedy, Mr. Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Well, I wasn't trying for laughs. You are Mrs. Turkey, aren't you?

[Effie]

I was.

[Sam Spade]

You undoubtedly still are.

[Effie]

I've expected to hear another one of these cruel jokes about my name at Thanksgiving time.

[Sam Spade]

Mr. Spade. Someone was always going to stuff Tom, baste him, dress him, slice him. This season they're going to kill him.

[Effie]

They are not going to kill him. He is already dead.

[Sam Spade]

He's not dead, Mrs. Turkey, and you should know it.

[Effie]

I should?

[Sam Spade]

Yes. He sent you a letter saying he was back in San Francisco and wanted to see you. Mr. Spade, this has gone absolutely far enough. Not quite. What about the letter?

[Effie]

I know of no such letter.

[Sam Spade]

I see. Well, thank you for your time. I'm sorry I bothered you. You used bad judgment in cunning in the first place. Yes, maybe you're right. There was falsehood in this someplace, Lieutenant, and it stuck out like a fat girl in slacks. The only thing to do was to go back to my apartment, get Tom turkey and confront Mrs. T with her husband in the flesh. But when I got back to my apartment building, I spotted in rapid succession, one, an ambulance, two, a police car, and upstairs, outside my half open apartment door, I spotted three. You. I've been expecting you. What's going on, Kelsey? Serious, Sam, serious. Who's that bald headed man moving around the apartment? That's McCracken, the new medical examiner, checking the stiff on your rug. I stepped around you, Lieutenant, and pushed the door all the way open. I saw McCracker kneeling over the body and a couple men from Homicide taking photos. I moved into the room feeling nothing good. A little guy had given me a job and while I was yakking with his wife, somebody got to him. And in my apartment where I'd stashed him, McCracken stood up and I looked down at the body. Then I looked again. Who I saw wasn't Tom Turkey at all. It was the late private eye, Al Kuchel. You are listening to the weekly adventure of radio's most famous detective, Sam Spade. You Friday fans of Sam Spade. There's mystery on Saturday evening too. On NBC tomorrow, the man called X sets out on another mission of danger and intrigue in some far off corner of the earth. Herbert Marshall stars as the man called X. A man without a name who travels the world over protecting his country's interests. He lives by his wits and his business is danger. He is the man called X. Tomorrow over most NBC stations for top Sunday listening, it's another broadcast of the big show on NBC this Sunday. Your stars include Fred Allen, Jack Carson, Mindy Carson, Ed Archie Gardner, Ed Wynn and many, many more. And Tallulah is your mc as usual. This Sunday it's the big show on NBC. And now back to the terrified Turkey caper. Tonight's adventure with Sam sp. While the men from Homicide were taking pictures, etc, you and I, lieutenants were going round and round on the question if I didn't kill the man found in my room, who did? And you were sufficiently impressed with my insults, Kelsey, not to hold me for the murder. We bowed to each other and I left thinking back to the truck that had almost run Turkey down. I went to the Haines. You drive truck rental garage? Yeah. What do you. I mean what do you want? I'm a detective. Could you give me a list of names for everybody who rented a truck from you during the past few days? Sure. He handed me a big registration book and I read every name for the past week. For the first five days they all seemed to be nice, normal, abnormal names. And then under the rentals for the day before was the name of John Smith. John had given his address as 7200 Kearney. And I happen to know that Kearney only goes up to 2,000. The dispatcher said that Smith had returned the truck about three hours before and he remembered him as an ugly, heavy set and rough voiced character who looked like an ex longshoreman. They had already washed the truck so the fingerprints were all loused up. Well, it's Mr. Spade again. Look, I'd like to speak with Mrs. Turk. Ms. Black, if you don't mind. Come in. Come in. Thank you. This way. Into the den. Right. Hell, I was sure you'd look into this affair a little more and realize that it was just a blind alley, a hoax of some kind. Where's Ms. Black? Oh, she's upstairs lying down. The whole affair has upset her, and she asked not to be disturbed. I think the wisest course of action for you, Mr. Spade, is just to let the matter drop. You can't let a murder Just drop, Mr. Lewis. The police wouldn't hear of it. Huh? Murder? Who? An unfrocked private detective named Al Kucho. Well, what does this have to do with Henrietta Black? Al Couture called me earlier today and said that Tom Turkey was a crackpot. A little man with delusions. He tried to top me off taking his case. He sounds like a perceiving man. Well, he didn't perceive. Ending up in my apartment with a bullet in his head. That's too bad. But I still. I left Tom Turkey in my apartment for safekeeping. And when I returned, he was gone and Kuchel was dead. Well, that explains itself. Obviously, this detective knew that Tom Turkey was a phony and Turkey killed him. It can figure that way and a number of other ways. Mr. Spade, I have no desire to sit here trading subtleties with you. As yet, no one has demonstrated that the real Tom Turkey actually exists alive. Now, until you do have something more concrete and less mythological, Ms. Black requests that you do not come around opening up old wounds. You've made an eloquent point. Just tell me one thing, if I can. When did Tom Turkey disappear? I mean, what month? What day it was? Oh, yes, 1943. November. But I'm not sure of the exact day. I think it was in the third week. Could it have been on Thanksgiving? Very possibly. Very possibly. I returned thoughtfully to my office and did a little rapid mental arithmetic and came up with a number seven. From November 23, 1943, to November 23, 1950, was seven years to the day. And I pondered this. What did the number seven mean to the life or death of Tom Turkey? I had just hit upon the answer and was crying, eureka. When my office door opened unknocked and a visitor came in unannounced. He was ugly, heavyset, and looked like an ex longshoreman. I waited to see if the voice checked. You, Spade. Who shall I say is called? Captain John Smith. And here's my calling card. The first. The first bullet grazed my shoulder and tore the padding out of my coat. The second bullet hit the Water cooler and it crashed over water and all on top of me. Where the third bullet hit. I wasn't sure at the time because darkness came rushing through my head like a freight drink. When I opened my eyes again, I expected to see St. Peter checking my ID card. But all I saw were the dust balls under my desk and a fly bathing himself in a pool of water, spreading slowly over the floor. There was blood on my hand, but it came from a glass cut. I was in shambles, but alive. Captain John Smith had shoved off, obviously thinking his bullets had done their work. Homicide, Lieutenant Kelsey. Sam Kelsey. Have you found anything more about Ton Turkey? Nothing, Sam. Frankly, I'm beginning to wonder if there is such a guy. Well, clever, Kelsey. A few minutes ago, a gorilla by the name, believe it or not, of Captain John Smith just tried to kill me in my office. Oh, go on, Sam. I find it hard to think. You find it hard to think, period. Really, Sam, did you get him? No, but my office is a wreck and there's a hole blasted in my wall big enough to put a basketball in. What did he use, a bazooka? I figured dum dum bullet sometime. That's illegal, ain't it? Kelsey, doesn't it strike you as significant that every attempt on Turkey's life has been vicious? As if someone not only wanted to kill him, but also mutilate him? Yeah, yeah, now that you mention it, somebody probably wanted to make identification difficult. Even dead, they didn't want anybody to know who he was. Now, listen carefully, Kelsey. This is real deep. Tom Turkey disappeared on Thanksgiving of 1943. A person has to be missing seven years before he can be legally dead and his insurance collected. Now, if someone had Turkey insured, they could collect the day after this Thanksgiving. If Turkey didn't show up before. You mean somebody's trying to kill him for the insurance? I would say so, Kelsey. I would say so. Now hurry up and find them. When I put down the phone, I heard a heavy pounding. For a minute I thought it was in my head until I turned to face the door and standing there was a small pilgrim with bandy legs in black stockings, pantaloons, white collared coat and stovepipe hat. Hallelujah. He wore silver buckles and what he was pounding on the floor was an 18th century blunderbuss.

[Effie]

Hallelujah.

[Sam Spade]

Have I got the right place? Well, offhand I'd say so. If you're looking for Captain John Smith, he just left. Pocahontas is expected any minute. Now don't you go trotting to confuse me. I'm too thirsty. What's on your mind? Well, I'm. I'm looking for a fellow named Dan. Oh, I'm so thirsty I forgot. Sam Spade. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yes.

[Effie]

Ah.

[Sam Spade]

Oh, you broke your water bottle, huh? Yeah. Good, good. That stuff. Poison, anyway. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hey, say, do you happen to have any hard cider around? Fresh out. Yeah, I'm kind of thirsty. You know, any type of corn squeezings. Here, try this, dad. Good, huh? You like that, huh? Oh. Hey, follow me. But before we go, do you suppose we could have a little something for the road? It's bitter cold. I gave him a little, but not too much because I didn't want him to lose his way. He walked me right down Market street so he could look in the liquor store windows. He said it gave him a comfortable feeling to know there was so much good in the world. And then we turned right a few blocks until we came to the Helping Hand Mission. Across its gray front banner promised special holiday food and comfort to the unfortunate. And on the street in front of it, there was a brass band sending out signals to the fraternity that any minute the great feast of Thanksgiving would begin. The band members and other volunteer workers were all dressed as pilgrims. The quaint conceit, my pilgrim, led me to a dark corner of the club room. And sitting there, unhappily was none other than Tom Turkey.

[Effie]

Hello, Mr. Spade.

[Sam Spade]

Hello, Tom. What happened to my apartment? Why did you run away?

[Effie]

Well, I was afraid. You told me not to answer the door until you came back.

[Sam Spade]

Well, somebody knocked on the door and.

[Effie]

Said it was you. So I opened it and two men came in.

[Sam Spade]

Tell me, was one of the male cuchu.

[Effie]

Yes, the detective. The other man was a big, ugly looking fellow. And when they saw I was alone, they started arguing.

[Sam Spade]

About what?

[Effie]

Well, the detective said that now that he brought the ugly man there, he wanted his money. The ugly man pulled a gun and they started. Oh, dear, I. I slipped out the door and when I was halfway downstairs, I heard a shot and kept on running.

[Sam Spade]

Well, Hal Kuchel is dead.

[Effie]

Oh, my. I thought so. This was the only place I could think of to hide. Oh, when Henrietta finds out I've been mixed up in a murder, she'll never take me back.

[Sam Spade]

Henrietta. Hey, tell me, did your wife ever have any insurance on you before I return?

[Effie]

Ran away, she did. A fifty thousand dollar policy, but, oh, that would have lapsed by now.

[Sam Spade]

Maybe. Maybe. Did it have a suicide clause in it?

[Effie]

Suicide? Yes. Well, no. No, it didn't. I remember.

[Sam Spade]

Yeah. Yeah. You'd like to talk to Henrietta, wouldn't you? All right. Here's your phone number. Call her up and tell her where you are.

[Effie]

Oh, dear, I. I don't think I could. I'm too frightened.

[Sam Spade]

You've got to do something to help yourself. If you don't by midnight, you might be a cold turkey. Oh, I'm sorry. Just slipped out.

[Effie]

All right, I'll do it.

[Sam Spade]

Well, he went and made the call. When he returned, he said that a man had answered who said Henrietta would come down and pick Tom up. He didn't want to wait, but I sat on him. The pilgrim brought us a dish of turkey dinner, saying he couldn't stand food himself, and we munched a spell. In a little while, a limousine pulled up and in front of the mission with someone in back whom I couldn't see, the chauffeur stepped out and came in inquiring for Tom Turkey. It was Captain John Smith himself. When he saw me, a look of shocked surprise came over his unhandsome face. Hoping to catch him off balance, I dove at him. It was the liveliest thing that has happened at the Helping Hand Mission in years. And we have a good house, too. Money was even changing hands. When I heard the odds starting to go against me, I realized I better come up with something. Here, use this, partner. And I did. The bandy leg pilgrim shoved his blunderbuss right in my hand and I swung. Smith dropped like pheasant on the wing. I looked up. The passenger from the limousine was just coming in here. What's the meaning of this? It means, leander loose that you're not going to carve Tom Turkey up for your Thanksgiving insurance policy.

[Effie]

Hallelujah.

[Sam Spade]

Drumstick, anyone? Period. End of report.

[Effie]

Sam, I don't understand.

[Sam Spade]

Well, it's as plain as the cranberry stain on your dress, eh? Lou says Henrietta's business manager had her power of attorney and secretly he kept making the payments on Tom Turkey's insurance policy.

[Effie]

Oh, and then he'd collect for Henrietta and keep the money himself.

[Sam Spade]

Effie, sometimes your lightning mind frightens me. Now, go type that up. Three chimes mean good times on NBC. There's fun and laughs with the chimes later tonight when Ed Gardner stars in Duffy's Tavern. As usual, Duffy won't be there, but Archie the manager will definitely be on hand to serve his blue plate special of grilled English language. This Sunday, the big show comes your way again. Tallulah will be your hostess and the stars Include Fred Allen, Jack Carson, Ed Wynn, Meredith Wilson and many, many more. It's the big show Sunday on NBC.

[Effie]

Here it is. The man who killed Al Coutrel and tried to kill you. Was his name really Captain John Smith?

[Sam Spade]

Now, we could we have a Thanksgiving caper without a Captain John Smith? It wouldn't be right.

[Effie]

It was a coincidence, wasn't it?

[Sam Spade]

Well, if you promise not to tell any, I won't. His real name was Michael Giuseppe Yablonski Smith. I called him John for sure.

[Effie]

You're so kind.

[Sam Spade]

Are we going over to your mother's for cold turkey snacks?

[Effie]

Well, all right, but I don't think there'll be much left. Oh, you see, my cousin Gertie couldn't find a little boy and mother phoned and said they just found him. He was inside the turkey, eating his way out.

[Sam Spade]

Effie, is there no way to curb that tongue of yours?

[Effie]

Yes, there's one way.

[Sam Spade]

Well, come here. Oh.

[Effie]

Good night, Sam.

[Sam Spade]

Good night, sweetheart. The adventures of Sam Spade are produced, edited and directed by William Spear. Sam Spade was played by Stephen Dunn. Loreen Tuttle is Effie. Script for tonight's adventure by Larry Roman and John Michael Hayes. Musical scoring by Lud Gluskin conducted by Robert Armbruster. Join us again next week, same time for another adventure with Sam Spade. Hear the magnificent montague, then visit duffy's tavern on NBC. Now here is our star, Vincent Price. Ladies and gentlemen, in a prejudice filled America, no one would be secure in his job, his business, his church or his home. Yet racial and religious antagonists are exploited daily by quacks and adventurers whose followers make up the irresponsible lunatic fringe of American life. Refuse to listen to or spread rumors against any race or religion. Help to stamp out prejudice in our country. Let's judge our neighbors by the character of their lives alone and not on the basis of their religion or origin.