← Down These Mean Streets (Old Time Radio Detectives)
Down These Mean Streets (Old Time Radio Detectives)
Episode 649 - Great White Way Christmas (Damon Runyon Theatre, The Whistler, & Broadway is My Beat)
01:33:24
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Get this and get it straight. Crime is a sucker's road and those who travel it wind up in the gut of the prison of the grave. The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective. The Adventures of the Saint, starring Vincent Price. Bob Bailey in the exciting adventures of the man with the action packed expense account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator. Yours truly, Johnny Dollar. Happy holidays and welcome to down these Meat Streets, where today we're celebrating the season with a trio of radio mysteries set on and around Broadway. But these aren't tales of actors in the theater. These are stories of the other side of Broadway. The dimly lit bars and back alleys where characters are focused more on dodging a bullet than counting the take at the box office. Appropriately, our first two stories come from Damon Runyon, the poet laureate of Broadway, whose tales of colorful crooks inspired guys and dolls and gave us the term Runyon esque to describe a character. Many of his stories were adapted for radio. In the syndicated series the Damon Runyon Theater, we'll hear an episode from that show titled Dancing Dan's Christmas. The show starred John Brown, a very talented radio actor who may be best known as friendly undertaker Digby Odell on the life of Riley. Brown played Broadway, our storyteller and someone who often wound up entangled in the stories he narrated. In this one, Broadway learns that Dancing Dan is facing his last Christmas if a gang of crooks track him down. Then we'll hear Three Wise Guys, another Runyon Christmas story, this one presented on The Whistler on December 24, 1950. But it also stars John Brown, which makes it feel like a lost episode of the Damon Runyon Theater. In this story, a trio of crooks heads out into the snow to find hidden loot from a robbery. And they discover a lot more than they bargained for. Finally today, we'll hear Larry Thor as Detective Danny Clover in Broadway Is My Beat, a series that had its share of characters who wouldn't have been out of place in a Damon Runyon story. In this episode, from December 24, 1949, Danny investigates when the ex con who was set to play Santa disappears before the main event. Today, the lullaby of Broadway mixes with Christmas carols. We'll start things off with Dancing Dan's Christmas right after these messages. Hey, Hap. Hello, Santa. Why, it's Wilcox. Now, what are you doing in that costume, Harlow? Going to a Christmas party, Hap. Oh, what's in the sack? Why, a load of merry Motoring. In this box, I've got smoother performance. You see Ignition engineered Auto light spark plug. Sure. And when you replace worn out spark plugs with these new bantam beauties, your car will perform smoother than Santa skidding down a slippery chimney. And what's in this box, Arlo? Fast starts. Ha. These are ignition engineered auto light spark plugs too? You bet. They're unmatched for quick starts because they're designed by the same Autolite engineers who designed the coil distributor and all the other important parts of the complete ignition system for many leading makes of our finest cars. That's why Ignition engineered Autolite spark plugs work as a team with your car's ignition system. And that's why they're world famous for quality and dependability. And I suppose you're giving gas savings in the third box, eh, Harlow? You guessed it, Hap. So, friends, have your Autolite spark plug dealer replace worn out spark plugs with Ignition engineered Auto Light spark plugs. Choose either the standard or resistor type. And remember, you're always right with Autolite. And now, while I fix us both of you tired, Tory, Suppose you'll tell our friends and listeners about a gift every man in our our audience would welcome from Father Christmas, or as you Americans call him, Santa claus. With pleasure, Dr. Watson. And not only from Santa Claus. A thrifty man can give himself a worthwhile gift anytime if he insists on Clipper craft. For Clipper Craft clothes keep on giving for a long, long time. First of all, you've never seen such truly fine clothes at such really low prices. That means you pocket the savings. That's the first gift to yourself. And they also give you superb styling, perfect fit and long wear. Clippercraft clothes give you so very much because of the unique Clipper Craft plan concentrating the buying power of 924 of the nation's leading stores from coast to coast. That means tremendous savings in manufacturing and distribution costs. And yours are the savings this brilliant plan makes possible. Clipper Craft suits are only $40 and $45. Clipper craft topcoats and overcoats only $40. And sport jackets only 2650. Clipper craft values are so amazing, we urge you to compare them with clothes selling for many dollars more. Listen, man, to this holiday tip on good grooming to help spark up your whole appearance. First, be sure that your hair is well groomed. Be sure it's groomed with popular Wild root Cream oil hair tonic. Wild root cream oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally, the way you like it. The way she likes it. Wild Root Cream Oil also relieves annoying dryness, removes loose, ugly dandruff. So look your best all the time by sprucing up right with Wild Root Cream Oil Hair tonic again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. I dedicate this program to the fight against crime. Not merely crimes of violence and crimes of dishonesty, but. But crimes of intolerance, discrimination and bad citizenship. Crimes against America. The damon runyon theater. Once again, the Damon Runyon Theater brings you another story by the master storyteller Damon Runyon. And this one, Dancing Dan's Christmas. And to tell it to you, here is Broadway. Thanks. The time this story takes place is Christmas. The time when everybody is saying things about peace on earth, goodwill to men. Now, that is a sentiment with which I go along 300%. And I wish that everyone will take it to heart. However, there are certain citizens who never hear of peace and good will is nice, but not absolutely necessary. And how it happens that I almost spend my last Christmas with no will at all is quite a story, which I will tell you about in a minute. And now back to the Damon Runyon Theater and the famous story Dancing Dan's Christmas. It is just two days before Christmas that I am sitting in Mindy's enjoying some cheesecake and coffee. My enjoyment is not long lasting, because no sooner is the first bite in my mouth than I am joined by a character named Shotgun Sam, so called for reasons that are plain. He sidles up, eyes me for a couple of seconds, then sits down. The cheesecake has no more flavor and gets even less tasty. As Shotgun says as follows. Broadway, how are you? First rate. How are you, Shotgun? Tired. Very tired. Is the cheesecake good? I just take my first bite. I don't see Dancing Dan any place around, do you? I am not looking for it. I am. Oh, he is as hard to find as warmth in the bookie's heart. It seems to me that the places to be looking for Dancing Dan would be the nightclubs. He likes to dance. Mm. And that is just why I'm looking for him, because he's such a slick dancer. You wish to take lessons? I do not. I wish to give Dancing Dan one and one. He will not forget. I tell you, I do not see him any place. I believe you. Thanks, Broadway. I do not like the job I gotta do, which is. It seems that Danson Dan dances too much here lately with the wrong doll. Muriel o'? Neil? The same. You know about it then? Well, there is a Rumor that Heinie Schmitz likes her. Said rumor is absolutely true. And because it is, Heinie wishes Dance and Dan to know it. Look, Shotgun, what harm is there in dancing with Muriel o'? Neil? None. Except that Dancing Dan does it more than once. Now we've got to find him and end his career. You're sure you do not see him? As sure as I am a foot high. I do not. Okay. But if you do, you will let me know? Well, to tell the truth, I do not get to many places which are apt to see dance in dance. But in case you do, Heine would take it as a personal favorite if you would tell me. Also, he would take it as a personal affront if you do not. But Chantel, I also would take it as a personal affront. I have got this job to do fine. And I would like to get it over with. Because I wish to get home for Christmas. I do not like to spend the Christmas season hunting for somebody. Eh? I. I hear. Okay. See you now. Now, when a citizen like Shotgun Sam says he would take it as a personal affro means just that. So I make it strictly my business to keep more than somewhat away from the spots where I am likely to see Dan's and Dan. Not that I would tip off Shotgun because I like Dan. But if Shotgun finds out that I see Dan and do not tell him. That is not only the end of my peace on earth. It is the end. So it is on Christmas Eve that I am in good time. Charlie's a place Dancing Dan is never likely to show up. The scene is as follows. This is what is known as Tom and Jerry Broadway. You like it? It is very good. A great thing for Christmas. Charlie, how does it happen you have no other customers tonight? Christmas Eve, everybody stays home. I figure I'll close up early. And who's that? It does not make any difference. Let him knock. Now, as I was saying, whoever it is wants to come in, I gotta close up. No more customers tonight. Maybe it is someone who wants to see. Okay. Leave the door on its hinges. I'm coming. Hiya, Charlie. Dan. Dancing Dan. Dancing Dan. Well, Broadway, how are ya? What are you doing here, Dan? Here? Why? I just thought I'd drop in and wish everybody a merry Christmas. Everybody is not here. So I see. Hey, Charlie, is that a Tom and Jerry? Yeah. You wish one? Yeah, just one. Then I gotta go. Store this someplace for me, will you? Yeah. What is in the package? Iron. Not by a long shot. Well, Broadway, I haven't seen you For a long time. Well, you been keeping yourself safe, huh? How's it with you, Charlie? Pretty good. Here, have a Tom and Jerry on the house. Thanks. Good. Yeah. Dan, is it safe for you to be out? Hmm? Oh, you mean about Heinie Schmitz? That is it. Well, this is kind of a farewell party, boys. From now on, I'm going this straight and narrow. You? Why? I mean, this is news. Yeah. Maybe because I'm in love. This makes it worse. I presume the doll is Muriel o'. Neil. Mm. You know, this is Christmas. I figure there's no better time for a guy to cut out his old life and build something new for himself. And that's what I'm gonna do. Here's to you, Broadway. Look, Dan, I'd give a million potatoes if I do not see you tonight. Why, I. I just would. You are plenty hot. Oh, sure. Heine doesn't like me. And when Heine doesn't like somebody, that somebody is in the red. Plenty. I gotta go, Dan. Why? Look, you know I wouldn't give the tip off, Dan, but, well, Shotgun Sam is looking for you. And when he finds you. I know Broadway is right. Dan, Shotgun will not be particular who is between him and his target. Yeah. You sure nobody sees you come in here? I don't know. Holy mackerel. Merry Christmas, everybody. It's funny, isn't it? Here I am, in love with a doll who loves me. I want to go straight. I want to forget the old life and build up something new for Muriel and me. I gotta do it the hard way. Yeah, it is funny. Okay, tell you what. I'll stay just a couple of minutes. Then I'll take the heat off you two by getting out of here, okay? Sure, Dan. You are an all right guy, Broadway. What do you say? I. It's Christmas Eve. What else can I say? Thanks. Well, Merry Christmas, boys. It is more than a little uncomfortable. In good time, Charlies. As any minute, we are expecting Shotgun Sam to poke in and end the proceedings. But the half hour goes by and all three of us are beginning to think that everything is all right. When the scene is as follows. That is somebody at the door. Yeah, it is, Dan. There's a back way out of here. You think they won't have that covered? Open the door, Charlie. You crazy? I'm tired of running away. Open the door. I cannot do this, Dan. Step back. I'll open. No, no, don't, Dan. Look, if anything happens, take that package to police headquarters. Police? Yeah. There's a note in it. They'll understand. Now get back out of line at the door. Merry Christmas. Look, it's. It's Santa Claus. It is somebody who looks like him. Hey, look. Hi, Charlie. Hi, Broadway. Look, it is Ookie. Yeah, Ookie dressed up like Santa Claus. Yeah, I, I'm glad you're open, Charlie. It's pretty cold outside. Ookie, what is the idea of the Santa Claus suit? And what is the idea of scaring 10 years out of us? Who, me? Oh, it's okay, Ookie. You didn't know. But like Broadway asked, what's the idea of the Santa Claus suit? Well, I'm advertising Fletcher's store. 50 cents an hour I get for walking up and down the streets handing out his cards. You got yourself a bad cold. Uh huh. But I'm gonna be all right in a couple of minutes. Just gotta. Gotta get warm first. Well, you're crazy. You will get pneumonia if you go out again. I need the dough bad. You mean you're so broke you gotta walk up and down in that Santa Claus suit for half a check an hour? How do you like that? Here, rookie, drink this, Tom and Jerry. Yeah, thanks. That's good. It's nice and hot. But gee, I wish I could stay in here and talk with you skies. But I gotta beat it. You are figuring on going out in the cold? I need the dough. I ain't got a scent and my wife's kinda sick. I'd kinda like to bring her a little present this year. Okie. How long you have to walk around like that? About midnight. It's only 10. Now, you will get soaking wet in the snow in two hours. Oh, I'll stop in the storefronts and places to get warmed up. Well, gotta get going. Thanks for Tom and Jerry. Sure. Here. Buy the wife a good present, huh? Gee, wha. Thanks, Charlie. Here, give her one for me too, huh? Aw, now look, I'll make it a real Christmas hooky. Oh, gee, dad. Guys, I, I, I got a bad cold. Makes me sniffle. Yeah, yeah. Well, gotta get going. Wait. Okay, you got dough now. Why kill yourself for a measly four bits an hour? Well, it ain't only this job, but Fletch promised me if I'd make good, he'd let me clean up his place overnight. Fifteen a week. And I need the job. So you see, I gotta do it. No, you don't. Oh, yeah, yeah, I do. I've been pretty sick the past year. Couldn't hold no job. But this year's gonna be different. I Promise. Midge, My wife. Ookie, take off that suit, huh? But, Dan, I got. Take it off. Dan, what's the idea? I'm not gonna let Ookie walk around with that coal. Oh, now, please, Dan, I need the job. I'm gonna get you because Fletcher's Santa Claus is gonna walk around. What are you talking about, Dan? Me? I'm gonna be Santa Claus. Now I hear everything. Dan. Dan. Laura, start taking it off. You stay here till you get good and warm. Then take a cab back home. Dan, I won't never forget this. I won't either. Well, I'll have it off in a jiffy. Dan, you are crazy. You'll be walking around the streets. You'll be a setup for Shotgun. You got a chance if you keep out of sight. I'm gonna make this the best Christmas I ever had. It says, peace on earth, goodwill towards men. Okay, I'm through running away. If Shotgun wants to rub me out on Christmas Eve, let him. I'm not gonna run away anymore. But what about Muriel? Why do you not think about her? I am. I'm giving her a Christmas present. Yeah. Together we don't have to keep running away by herself. She'll do a lot better. Hurry up with that suit, Hooky. And now back to the Damon Runyon Theater and the famous story, Dancing Dan's Christmas. Well, Dancing Dan puts on Ookie's Santa Claus suit, beard and all. We get a pillow from Good Time Charlie and make Dan look quite a bit like the real thing. And then, just as he is about to leave, the scene is as follows. Now, who is calling me on the phone? Answer it, Charlie. Yeah, I'll be back in just a second. Dan, for the last time, do not do this. I'm doing it for Wookie and Muriel. It's funny, isn't it? Maybe in Santa Claus. I tell you, you got a chance if you. Hey, Broadway. Yeah? Charlie, this call is for you. What? For me? But nobody knows I am here. You better take this. Go ahead, Broadway. I'll wait here til you're through. Yeah, yeah, okay. You are not going to like this, Broadway. Who is it? Here, take it. I will go back and talk to Dan. Hello, this is Broadway. Broadway, this is Muriel o'. Neil. What? Charlie told me Dan's there. Well, yeah, he is. But how'd you know? He said he was going to say Merry Christmas to everybody. Broadway, watch him. Don't let him do anything crazy. Please, Ms. O', Neill, I have no control whatsoever. You told me what he's going to do. You mustn't let him, Broadway, please. What is there I can do? Talk him out of it. I tried that for a solid half an hour. Then go with him. We have a bad connection. I think you say go with him. Yes, it is a very bad connection, Broadway. Look, it's Christmas. I love the big goof. I know what he's thinking and I know what he's doing. Please stay with him, Ms. O'. Neill. I know it is Christmas and I would like to see what it is like next year too. Broadway, they. They might not try anything if there's somebody with him. Don't you see? I do not. You're afraid. All right, hold him there until I get to him. I'll go with him. Oh, no. Hey, hey. No, please. Hold him then. No. Look, Miss o'. Neill. There is no. Miss o'. Neill. Miss O. Step on him, Broadway. I want to get going. Yeah, I'm coming. Friend of yours on the phone? Uh huh. A friend of mine. Yeah. Well, what does the friend have to say, Broadway? Nothing much. Say, Dan? Yeah? I think I will walk a piece with you. Huh? You crazy? I need some air, Broadway. Stay here. I have to meet somebody in a little while. Come on, Dan. Okay, I can't stop you. Oh, give me that package, Johnny. What have you got in there, Dan? A Christmas present for the police. Come on, Broadway. Well, so I am crazy. But I do not like to see Ms. Muriel O' Neal taking a chance. So I figure I will go with Dan So that if Ms. O' Neal comes into Charlie's, he will tell I am with him. We step out into the street. The snow is sparkling under the lights and the bells are ringing. It is a beautiful Christmas Eve and everybody looks happy but me. I am very sad and more than somewhat jumpy because I expect any minute to hear something that is not Christmas chimes. But we walk up the street and the scene is as follows. Look, Broadway, did you ever see a night like this? Truthfully? No. Fresh snow on the street, people laughing, talking. What makes people laugh like this, Broadway? I wish I know. So do I. Look, Dan, how far do you expect to walk? Not far. Just a Muriel's place. Muriel's? Mia. I want to put something in her grandma's stocking. I do not know what you are talking about. Her grandmother hangs up her stocking every year and gets nothing. But this year she's gonna have a good Christmas. Just one before she dies. This year that stocking is gonna get something good in it. Like what? See this package? Know what's in it? If it is at all like the rest of this evening, there is a bomb in it. No, no. I made a haul. 50,000 clams worth of jewelry. This is Christmas Eve. And so I figured I'd take it back to the police because. Because I am going straight. You are walking around in a Santa Claus suit with 50 grand worth of jewelry wrapped up in a newspaper. It's the only paper I could find. And I am with you. Take it easy, Broadway. No one will think of frisking Santa Claus for jewelry. Hey, look. Where? What? Who. A Salvation army doll. She is not doing a good business. Come on, Dan. Please let us get in off the street. You'll now have your fun. I have to pass out these cards. Sure, but meanwhile we're gonna drum up a little business for the Salvation Army. Doc. Merry Christmas. And the last. Good evening, miss. Oh, hello there, Santa. I don't see much folding money in that kettle. Well, people are too busy to stop, I guess. Uh huh. Okay, I will see what I can do. And please let us get off the street. Ah, there's a customer. Hey you. Hey, you talking to me? Uh huh. You know who I am? You listen like Santa Claus to me. I am. Now you be one. Huh? Put something in the kettle. Now looky. No, you look there. Put something in the kettle. I. Well of course. And see that what you put in doesn't make a tinkly sound. In fact, no sound at all. You were the first Santa Claus I ever seen packing a rod. I'm different. Go ahead, put. Thank you, sir. Thank you. He will tell the cops then. Hey you, come here. I. I put a five dollar bill on the captain. Good. Here's your file. I. What? I don't understand. I don't want the little lady to think that it came from you. I'm. Beat it. Oh, sure, sure, Sandy Claus. Thanks very much. Now let's. Well, here's my last stop, Broadway. Look, Dan, forget this business. Oh no, I still got Grandma o' Neill's stocking to fill. Come on. But Shotgun might be watching here. So what if he is? He will get you. I'm not gonna let Shotgun spoil the best Christmas Eve I've had since I was a kid. You coming with me or not? I. I can't stand out here on the street. Well then, come on. She lives on the second floor. Look, Broadway, you stay back of me. No use you getting it too. That makes good sense. See anybody? No, I do not like this. It is too quiet. Yeah. Well, here we are. See if the door is locked open. Uh huh. Let me go in first. Be careful, Dan. I'll go in first and light the light. Nobody here. Nobody but Grandma o' Neill sleeping. I do not like this, Dan. They will come looking for you. Here, let them look at her. Broadway sleeping in her chair. And that stocking hanging up. Every year she does that. Now we're gonna make it worthwhile. Look at that. Yeah. Pretty stuff, ain't it? You know there's a 5,000 reward out for it. I. And you're putting it in a stocking? Why not? It's a nice Christmas present, ain't it? Here we go. It looks awful funny in that stock. And it's gonna take more than a little explanation how it gets there. It's here, that's the main thing. Now let's get going again. Where to now? Oh, I don't know. But you can go home if you want to. Yeah, I guess I will. She's gonna believe it really is Santa Claus. Wait. Somebody came in the door. In the hall, coming up here. Get down, Broadway. Who's that? Muriel. Muriel. Dan. Oh, Dan. Oh, Dan, you crazy fool. Honey, everything's all right. Muriel, did you see anybody? No. But why did you come here? I had something to do. Honey, please. Dan, you can't stay here. You can't stay in New York. What do you want me to do, run away? What do you care? If that's what it has to be, it's better than being killed. I don't think so. Ms. O' Neill is right, Dan. Maybe, maybe not. Now look, Muriel, you wait five minutes out here in the hall and you go in your flight. But why? Do like I said. What are you gonna do, Dan? Me? I got a great idea. Do like I said, Broadway. Stay away, Dan. Don't come after me, Broadway. What's he gonna do, Ms. O'? Neill? I do not know. And even if I do know, I would not understand it. Well, we do like Dan Sundays. We wait five minutes and then we go into Muriel's flat. When she sees the jewelry in the stocking, she makes me tell her what happens. And then she runs out in the street to look for Dan. But he is gone. And it's not until the next day that I hear what happens from Good Time Charlie. Sure, sure, I am telling it straight, Broadway. Dan goes right to the police and tells them he pulled that jewelry and. And he leaves the jewelry. So Muriel will get the reward. That is the way I figure it. But she will not accept it. But now he will get a Couple of years at least. Sure he will. You know, maybe it is better this way. He goes to the clink, but he does not get rubbed out by Shotgun Sam. Yeah, yeah. But there is something I do not understand. What? Why is it that Muriel does not take the reward money? Dolls are very funny people. Sometimes, Broadway, they are very funny people. She says she will wait for him and they will start all over again. Yep, like you say, dolls are very funny people. But Charlie, there is something even funnier. Yeah? What is that? I am not able to figure out why Dan is still alive. And why Shotgun Sam is not watching your place here last night. Or haven't it watched? Like I say, it is hard to figure that out. Anyway, Dan goes to the pen, but he gets a light sentence because he says he is going straight. And besides, he gives himself up. He gets out and marries Ms. Muriel O'. Neil. And the last I hear, they are living happily. But that is not the end of the story. And what the end is, I will tell you in a minute. Well, it is a year later that I am once again sitting in Mindy's. It is again Christmas Eve. I look up from my blintzes, and whom do I see but Shotgun Sam, and he is looking at me with a funny look. He comes over and sits down and the scene is as follows. Hello, Broadway. Hello, Shotgun. It is just about a year since I saw you last, is it not? Almost exactly. Mm, Christmas Eve last year. Oh, no, you do not see me last Christmas Eve. I see you last Christmas Eve. You do not see me. You are gonna say something. No, I see you come out of Good Time Charlies. You do? Uh huh. I am looking for dance and Dan, but I'm not looking for him anymore because Heinie Schmitz no longer cares for Ms. Muriel O'. Neill. You say you see me last Christmas Eve coming out of Good Time Charlies? Yeah. I get a tip that dance and Dan is headed for there. I get there just as Ookie is going in. Ah, Ookie. Yeah. I wait and then I see you come out with Ookie. I must get a bad steer because dancing there never goes in nor comes out. It must be a bad steer you get. Well, I guess I will go now. Mm. So long. So long. Oh, and Merry Christmas. Shotgun. And so ends the famous Damon Runyon story, Dancing Dan's Christmas. Listen in again next week for. The damon runyon theater. The Damon Runyon Theater with John Brown as Broadway is directed by Richard Sanville and the stories adapted for radio by Russell Hughes. Vern Carstenson is in charge of production. This is a Mayfair production. And now stay tuned for the program that is rated tops in popularity for a longer period of time than any other west coast program in radio history. The Signal Oil program. The Whistler. Transcribed by the Signal Oil Company for Christmas Eve to enable the entire production staff of the Whistler to spend Christmas Eve at home with their families. Signal. The famous Go farther Gasoline invites you to sit back and enjoy another strange story by the Whistler. I am the Whistler, and I know many things, for I walk by night. I know many strange tales hidden in the hearts of men and women who have stepped into the shadows. Yes, I know the nameless terrors of which they dare not speak. And now for the Signal Oil Company. The Whistler brings you a most unusual story. One of the most heartwarming stories of our time. Especially appealing this Christmas Eve. Three wise guys. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Even Broadway, that glamorous avenue of make believe in faraway New York, seemed empty, deserted. Most cafes and eating places were closed, but the doors of an occasional refuge for those hardy souls who prefer to walk alone were still open. Such a place was Good Time Charlie's Bar on 49th street, where on another Christmas Eve, a series of unusual events began, ending in one of the most unusual stories Good Time Charlie had ever listened to. At the moment, Charlie is listening, listening to the voice of a man named Al, as is well known to one and all, Charlie. I am not one to complain, but it strikes me that Broadway would bring very little tonight on the open market. I know you 10, maybe 15 years, Al. Until now, I don't know. You know, there is an open market for the past 12 months that I know of. I am 100% legitimate. Honest. Legitimate, Al. Want another rock candy and rye without the rock candy. I very seldom indulge in alcoholic beverages. But in answer to your question, yes. Haven't seen you for a year, Al. Want to run over that part again where you tell me you're playing it straight? For the past 12 months, as of last Christmas Eve, I am a 100% honest ticket scalper. I do not make a killing. But I get that good warm feeling that comes with being 100% legit. It feels good to play it straight, cozy. You want to tell me about it, Al? I do. Do not mind if I do. Good Time Charlie. It all begins a year ago tonight, right here in your strictly high class drum, Blondie. Swanson was here with me, remember? Yeah, I think I do remember, Al. Now, Blondie Swanson is one of the gentry which operates on that side of the law as very few called right. Though Blondy himself always feels this is a matter of opinion. But Blondie is not concerned with his racket. A year ago tonight you are busy chauffeuring the bar. Good time Charlie. So maybe you do not notice the sad scene. Yep, it is last year, just about this same time when Blondie comes in here. His big frame pretzels with gre. Hello, Al. Well, hiya, Blondie. I see you are not so happy tonight. Why not join me in a medicinal rock candy and rye without the rock candy? I am fighting off a touch of grip. Okay, Al, I got a bad case of memories tonight. If rye can pack away the grip, maybe it can take a load off my memories. Hey Charlie, two more rock candies and rye's without the rock candy. I'll slide them down. Are these conversational memories, Blondie, or shall we give them the clan? You recall a doll named Clarabelle Cobbelle? Ms. Clarabelle Cobb? Of course I do. She is well known to one and all on Broadway as a leading light with George White's scandal some years back. Yeah, well, Christmas Eve is an anniversary for me. It was on Christmas Eve that Clara Belle left me to marry an honest guy in Akron, Ohio. There you are. Oh, drink up, Nunny. Up to Now I remember Ms. Clarabelle Cobb as a doll with glass. A judgment. Why did she put distance between her and you? Well, Clarabelle was a gal that didn't care as much about how much money your head as she did where you got it. She felt that my role was ample but tainted. And this is why she puts on the exit right. I can see now that she was right, but now it's too late. But there must be other dolls as beautiful and desirable and not such quiz masters as to where the scratch comes from. I'll never look at another doll again, Al. They're there for other guyson. Well, if it ain't the Dutchman. Look, Al. Blondie, you tide's all around. I cannot believe my eyes. Dutchman, I have not seen you in east parts for maybe a full calendar or so. I've been detained in the west. Oh, it's a sad story. And I can see that all you two guys need is one more sad story. But you're not going to hear none. I got good news for you. And you have come to the right place. Dutchman. I always get Kenneth down the Christmas Eve. Well, I'm gonna tell you. Will give you a big lift. Blondie, you and me have pulled a few fast deals together, but I got one tonight that's the softest touch of all. Oh, you can listen, Al. We'll cut you in too. I have turned down soft touches before. But not wishing to be rude, I will hear you out. Well, some months back, three other guys and me knocked off a tin safe in a factory over in Pennsylvania. It was a cinch haul on account of we received a dead center tip. The tip was on the level. So we stash 50 GS in our grip sack and get set to hit the open road. Something detained you? The cops. After hot blasting from both sides, I find myself alone on the lam with 50 G's in the gripsack. But it's not a clean getaway. And I figure it's better to find a hiding place for the doe. Not wanting to be caught with the goods, I am beginning to get the idea you're suggesting that the three of us go for this dough tonight and cut it three ways. That's the idea. It's in an unpopulated barn under the floorboards. When I decide to go get it, the first guy I think of is you, Blondie. How about it? I must admit, I got no other plans, Dutchman. Nice of you to think of me. Count me in. How about you? Well, I am not generally known as a spoilsport. But this prospect, frankly, holds no appeal for me. I do not wish to join the party. This your final answer? Yes, Dutchman, you may quote. I will not go with you. Well, good time, Charlie. That's the way it went. I am certain I will not leave your bistro that night. I am negative to the whole scheme and I'm nixing it. Loud and clear to one and all. So imagine my surprise at some later point to find myself warm and cozy in the back seat of the Dutchman's ancient philosophy. Dogging it through the snow covered countryside. The whole setting is so peaceful I am catching small doses of snooze. But in between times I cannot help but overhear the upfront conversation of Blondie and the Dutchman. You sure this is the right road, Dutchman? Certainly I'm sure. I can fly this road blind if necessary. You are not flying blind now. So you must have noticed that the radiator is pting again. I think we better stop and take on another load of snow. Guess we'll have to. But I sure hate these delays. Hey, Dutchman, listen. Must be coming from that little church. Yeah, yeah. Come on, help with the snowing around here. Sounds real pretty. That kind of singing. You think that's pretty? Well, you hear real music. The kind money makes when it's crisp. Hey. Hey, Blondie. Dutchman. Where. Where are we? In Pennsylvania, Al. Not far from that barn where I stashed a factory payroll. How can you tell? I for one, see very little but darkness. Us around and about. I got to agree with Al, Dutch. But I got a feeling we're lost. Maybe we better give the whole scheme. You two give up easy. I tell you, I know for certain we're close to that barn. I can tell by that big fat star I've been following for the last few miles. Oh, yeah. I am seeing a small light ahead. But I observe, if this is a star, it is hanging very low to the ground. I still got a feeling we are lost. Why don't we go back to Good Time Charlie's, which is a lot easier to find. I don't care how low this star is hanging. I know it's leading me straight. I'm running this show. So you two better seal up there. Look, I'm right as rain. This is a barn. I do not wish to start an exchange of words. But that star you follow turns out to be nothing more than a light from the window of said barn. Ah. Okay. So somebody's living in a barn. I'll take care of them. If they're too high to get along with, I vote for getting out of here. I am not dressed to call on strangers myself. Come on, then, cut the gab. Besides, maybe there's only animals in the barn. I don't see no human footprints in the snow except ours. Oh, Big Dog gone. Look through that window, Blondie. Is that a doll in there? Let me see. Yeah, yeah, she's a dollar. Not only that, I don't think she's feeling in the pink either. Now that we are here, let us go inside and see if there's anything we can do for her. I don't care nothing about a sick doll. I want to lay my mitts on that grip sack with a 50 G's in it. Come on. Who. Who's that? Who are you? We mean no harm. We? We. Well, for if it ain't Ms. Clarabelle Cobb in person. Friends to all of you who have opened your homes to the Whistler not only throughout the year, but even to tonight on Christmas Eve, the Signal Oil Company has asked me to express their sincere appreciation for this privilege and pleasure. And we of the Cast want to add our thank you too. During the eight consecutive years that the Whistler has been broadcast by Signal Oil Company, many of us have celebrated Christmas with many of you a number of times. And believe me, we're mighty proud that you consider us part of your entertainment family. Tonight, on behalf of Signal Oil Company and the independent Signal dealers who serve you in the states of California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Nevada, Arizona and Utah, I want to convey warmest season's greetings. May the many blessings of living in these United States of America enrich your holiday season and the New Year. Yes, Al. That isolated barn in the snow swept Pennsylvania countryside so far removed from Good Time Charlie's Bar where you're now enjoying Charlie's Rock Candy and Rye without the rock candy, held a surprising development for you, Blondie Swanson and the Dutchman, didn't it? The three of you had driven there that Christmas Eve a year ago to claim the $50,000 payroll a Dutchman had hidden there. The presence of Ms. Clarabelle Cobb in the barn at your arrival was something not even her ex boyfriend, Blondie Swanson could fathom immediately. And you were even more puzzled than Blondie, weren't you, Al? Only the Dutchman seem to have the faintest understanding of what it's all about. So you turn to the Dutchman. Dutchman, I am not understanding all this. Why do you not inform us? Listen, Al, you and Blondie better clear out of here for a while. Take a walk in the snow. I guess I'll have to take care of this doll. Look, Dutchman, I haven't seen Clarabelle for a long time. If you think I'm gonna leave her now and go for a walk with Al, you are not. Besides which, Dutchman, this doll is clearly at grips with some stranger strange melody. I do not think it is polite the three of us should visit in this manner at this time. Listen, I came here to get 50 GS, not a sick doll and a lot of lip from you two. This won't take long, so blow. But Dutchman. I'm getting fed up with you, Blondie. I know what I'm doing. I've delivered seven of the eight kids my wife's had. And I never needed no doctor. This one will be a cinch. Now will you get out of here? I cannot help but say this is quite a night for surprises, Blondie. Yeah, I for one can take winter sports or leave them to someone else. How? Yeah, Blondie, we could take the Dutchman's car there. You think Clarabelle will be better off if we get her a dock. Well, I am new in this racket, Blondie, but if you want an inexperienced opinion, I will say. What was that? What? That. Well, Blondie, I am new in this racket, but if you want an inexperienced opinion, I will say Ms. Clarabel. Cob is a cinch. Mother. Come on, let's get back to the barn. Oh, I wish you wouldn't cry, Clarabel. No sense crying. Oh, Blondie, I know. If all of a sudden I found myself with a brand new kid, I wouldn't be crying. Special since it's such a. Such a beautiful kid. You really think he's beautiful, Blondie? Oh, I sure do. He's sleeping, huh? Bless his heart. If he only gets a break. Oh, don't worry about him, Clarabelle. A beautiful kid like that, they love him in Akron. Oh, Blondie, there's so much I want to tell you. Yeah, but maybe you're street now yourself. Not till I tell you, Blondie. You gotta know about everything. Why, I'm staying here in Dr. Kelton's barn. About Joe, my husband. He's in such trouble, Blondie. He's in jail. Come on, Al. Let's go find the grip sack. I know right where it is. Hey, look, Al. This is more like it. Yeah, it's all there. 50,000 bucks. A very likely sight. This is all that counts. A fat swatch of cash. Especially if it's mine. Come on, let's get Blondie and clean out of this barn. You ain't going anywhere with that dough, Dutchman. You want to play that again, Blondie? Same song. I said you ain't going anywhere with that doe. Now you tell me what he said. Al, I don't like what I'm hearing. Blondie has mouthed the same identical words two times around Dutchman. And I for one, get the impression he means it. I do. You didn't tell us the whole story of this, though. And how you came by your Dutchman. Now, listen, Blondie. No, I've been listening. I heard everything you said about this factory payroll job you pulled. And you never did say anything about trussing up the bookkeeper at the factory that night. So what? Not only that, you make it look like it's an inside job and leave the bookkeeper to take the rap. So they gotta nail somebody for it. Why are you building such a case for this cluck bookkeeper? This cluck bookkeeper, Joseph Hatcher, happens to be Clarabelle's husband. That's his kid. You deliver Dutchman. No kidding? No kidding. Did Ms. Clarabelle Cobb tell you all this, Blondie? She told me plenty. This Joseph Hatch has been cooling in the clink ever since he was doing a special bookkeeping job for his factory. Came here from Akron to do it. He's a right guy, an honest guy. Oh, can you understand that, Dutchman? Here, Blondie. Here's something honest I understand. Yeah, a gun. Easy to shut up, Al. Now look, Blondie, I've been patient with you. I know you're soft at his doll and that's your business. But you're interfering with mine, Blondie, and I don't like that. Now let's get out of here with the dough and quick. I said come on, let's get going. Dutchman, please put the iron away. It is not in keeping with the season to pull a heater on Blondie. In addition to which, the shouting is apt to wake that kid who is a pretty tired character like his mama. Now you're going soft, Al. What's with you two? Listen, Dutchman. Clarabelle's husband don't know she's living in his barn. When she heard they'd salted him away on a bum wrap, she came here to try to help him. Then she found out she was going to have a kid. And she looked up a doc here. A guy named Kelton. Clarabelle's got no dough, but Doc Kelton gives her first rate care all up to now. Even fixes it so she can stay in his barn. It is not great, but it beats living in a snowbank. Stow it, will ya? The heater, Dutchman. Hide it, huh? Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. But I'm still running this show, wise guys. And this is what we do. Von D. Here's the gripsack. Take my crate out there and find this Doc Kelton character. Pay him off for what he's already done for the doll. Give him some more for taking care of her and a kid from here on in. Then bring the gripsack back here and we'll blow. Yeah, you bet, Dutchman. And you can tell this doctor a couple of things for me. Tell him to get Clara Bell and the kid to a hospital where they belong. Sure, Dutchman. Sure. Tell him that till now we didn't need no doc. That the Dutchman took care of things perfect. And that mama and kid are doing nice, real nice. For all of you who play canasta or have been thinking of taking up the game. There's a little Christmas gift for you at your nearest signal service station. It's a 12 page booklet on that exciting new version of canasta Hollywood three deck Canasta which is replacing the old two deck game practically everywhere it's been tried. In fact, Robert Lee Johnson, the only Pacific coast member of the National Canasta Laws Commission says of this game, you'll never know how much fun cards can be until you've played this exciting new three deck game. It has completely replaced two deck canasta. With all my friends in Hollywood and friends, the booklet I mentioned is written by the man who devised this new game. So the rules are both complete and authentic. Right now, in fact this booklet is being sold by leading department stores in 32 states. But you needn't buy a copy. One is waiting for you free. While the supply lasts at any signal service station. It is the hope of your signal dealer that this fun packed new version of canasta will add to the card playing pleasure of your holidays. It was almost midnight on Christmas Eve at Good Time Charlie's bar on West 49th street as Al continued his amazing account of the story of that other Christmas Eve that crossed the lives of Blondie Swanson, Ms. Clarabelle Cobb and her newborn son, the Dutchman and his gripsack containing $50,000. As Al continued talking to Good Time Charles, a faraway look came into his eyes. So you see, Good Time Charlie, it is no more than small wonder that since all this takes place a year ago this very night, me, Blondie and the Dutchman have settled down to 100% legitimate in depth. Yeah, sure. And why not? A three way split on almost 50 stolen Jesus has since beginning to this day straight and narrow. You are laboring, as they say, under a misapprehension. Good Time Charlie. I see now where it is only fair I tell you the rest of this story. After Blondie makes the deal with Doc kelton to get Ms. Clarabel Cobb and her brand new kid out of that barn and into a class A hospital arrangement that the the three of us are once again the Dutchman's hot rod. Beating it along the streets of some pint sized burg in Pennsylvania. Thinking to leave this territory with them as wants. You know, maybe age is catching up with me. I ought to feel great right now. We still got nearly 50,000 clams in that gripsack and somehow I don't feel great at all. You did bring the gripsack back from Doc Kelton's, Bonnie? Yeah, yeah, sure. Dear Dutchman, the gripsack's in the back seat without funny, it don't feel good and it should. Perhaps a touch of rock candy and rye without the rock. Candy would warm your heart, Dutchman. Maybe so. Pass up the bottle. I am willing to do this, but the bottle will be of small comfort as it is empty. Oh, well, thanks for nothing. Oh well, just nudge the motor and we'll blow this berg get back to native territory. New York ought to look pretty good. Hey, Better slow down, Dutchman. The law is gaining on you. Oh, great. Never saw such a night in my life. That red light back there was no Christmas tree ornament. You should have stopped. Sorry, officer. And you're in a church zone clearly marked for 20 miles an hour. 40 is too much. Was hurrying home for Christmas office carrying toys for the kiddies in this tub, huh? I'll bet I better have a look around. Uh huh. What's in this grip sack? Oh, why nothing, officer. As empty a grip sack as you'll ever run into. Yeah, no need to open it. It's empty. You're right about that, mister. There's nothing there. Yeah, huh. Easy, Dutchman. But you sure it's empty? Sure I'm sure. Weren't you. Oh yeah, sure, sure, sure I was sure. I just wanted you to be sure. Carrying nothing but empties, huh? You guys empty this bottle all by yourselves? This bottle is once full of medicine, Officer. I myself have been more than normal of a touch of the grip. I am now in the pink, as the saying goes. Oh, wise guys, huh? Three wise guys. You know, if it weren't practically Christmas, I'd haul you in. Come on now, get out of our town. Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas. Three wise guys. Yeah, yeah, same to you. Dutchman, I. You know, Blondie, a while back you accused me of not telling you the whole story of that factory payroll job. Seems to me you forgot to tell me something pretty important too. What is it about that grip sack being empty of nearly 50 GS that I ought to know? Well, I figured to fill you in, Dutchman. Hey, look, Blondie. Dutchman, it's that same little church. Yeah. Oh yeah. You know something? It's a miracle. I don't know yet what happened to that new nearly 50 G's in the gripsack. But if that copper had caught us with a doe, we'd be on our way to the clink right now. And a student observation. Yeah, well, you see, Dutchman, when I called on Doc Kelton tonight, I left all the dough with him. The whole 50 GS. I told him to give it back where it belongs. I told him enough more that the doc is sure he can spring Clarabelle's husband out of jail, so him and Clarabel and the new kid be together. Say this this Doc Kelton is the right guy. Oh, I say he is. But he even agreed to give us a head start for the Pennsylvania border before he notifies the law. This is the right gun. Yeah, and we better oblige the doc and ourselves by making a border ahead of the cops. Hey, you know, that copper was right. Three wise guys he called. If we wasn't pretty wise, we'd have had all that cash on us when he pulled us over to the curb. I think it's a good idea we stay right on being three wise guys. I'm through stretching my luck. From here on in, I'm gonna play it straight. And I'm still running a show. So you two wise guys are going straight with me, okay? Okay. Agreed. Wonder how far it is to the border. They got a lot of funny little birds here in Pennsylvania. What was that one we just left, Blondie? Oh, I saw a signboard back there, Wade. That word is known as Bethlehem. And so, on a night before Christmas in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, three wise guys were strangely touched by the spirit of the season. A spirit born in another Bethlehem nearly 2,000 years ago. And tonight, on the eve of another Christmas, may we hope that this same eternal spirit will someday bring to wise guys throughout the world the understanding that the future of the peoples of earth rests in goodwill toward all men. Let that whistle be your signal for the Signal Oil program. The Whistler. Each Sunday night at this savings times Signal Oil Company has asked me to remind you this week it's especially important to drive at sensible speeds, be courteous and obey traffic regulations so some avoidable accident doesn't mar the holiday season for you. Remember what I said at the beginning of the program, friends, that you'd find tonight's story on your. And heartwarming. Now, wasn't I right? I'm sure many of you recognized it as one of the late and great Damon Runyon's most famous tales. The radio adaptation was by Kathleen Height. Featured in tonight's story were Bill Foreman, John Brown, Marvin Miller, and Jack Moyles. The Whistler was transcribed and directed by George W. Allen with music by Wilbur Hatch, and was transmitted to our troops overseas by the Armed Forces Radio Service. The Whistler is entirely fictional and all characters portrayed on the Whistler are also fictional. Any similarity of names or resemblance to persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Remember, at the same time next Sunday, another strange tale by the Whistler. Marvin Miller, speaking for the Signal Oil company. Broadway's my beat From Times Square to Columbus Circle. The gaudiest, the most violent, the lonesomest mile in the world. Broadway's my beat with Larry Thor as Detective Danny Clover. Broadway on Christmas Eve. Broadway's natives dance their Christmas dance to the music of carols flowing out of tinsel loudspeakers. The kids mash their noses against plate glass, lick it and watch the mechanical clown, the mechanized tor army, the Tin man dancing a jig on a tin box. Their eyes are dark with desire and hunger. They make a wish on a neon star. That's how it is on Christmas Eve on Broadway. My beat. On the. On the morning of the day before Christmas, creatures are stirring at police headquarters. There's the patter of tired feet and the sound of manly giggles as little gifts are hidden in desk drawers or poured into Dixie cups or slipped under the police blotter. And in my office, there's a kid I knew, name of Marty Wednick. Danny, I don't like to disturb you at this unmentionable hour. 10 o' clock in the morning. Unmentionable? You kidding? Sleep has not yet fled from my starry eyes. What makes me bounce my pillow at an hour, which is for the squares, is a problem. What's your problem, Marty? Am I or am I not the child president of your branch of the Police Athletic League? You are. So I promise my constituency of fellow former delinquents a santy clause for Christmas. That's the problem. What are you gonna give with a santy clause? Don't laugh, Danny. A former delinquent shouldn't be disillusioned. Could make him a neurotic. So I repeat on behalf of my constituents, where is Santa Claus? He'll be here in a minute, Marty. Sergeant Tartaglia. Oh, here he is. Come on in, Sergeant. Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way. Oh, what? This guy's a sergeant, huh? Hey, Tartaglia, this is Marty Wednick. He wants Santa Claus. Oh, he's coming, Danny. He's coming. Come on in, Sandy. Everybody make way, everybody, for Santa Claus. And what's your alias name, Little boy? Ho, ho, hi. Hey, this guy's a Santa Claus. Who's the kid? The punk. Danny, who is he? Marty Wednick, that's who I am. So you're Santa Claus, huh? Audition me something. What? Why, you crumbly little. Take your hands off me, Santa Claus. Is this the Christmas spirit? I'll give it to you in the mouth. Fresh kid, you and how many rings? Wait a minute, wait a minute. You two. Marty, this is Nick Norman. Nick Norman, the ex con. How do you like this monster? For 15 years I've been playing Sandy Corner at Sing Sing with no complaints, mind you. The first day I am a free civilian playing me old part. The squirt gives me the hook. I resign from Sandy Claus. I don't get treatment like this even from the guards. Take it easy, Nick. Marty didn't mean it. Did you, Marty? How was I to know that Santi Claus here was the world famous light fingered safe cracker ex light fingered world famous safecracker. You. Well, does he meet with your approval, Marty? Well, the costume is sloppy, the beard's more thin, but yeah, he'll do. Don't do me no favors, punk. You want to know something, Nick? What something? I like you. I think you are the best. Sandy Claus. It has ever been my privilege to present to my constituents of the Pal. This is from the Hartnick. That's better. You gotta show respect for Sandy Claus. What time's your party? Eight o' clock tonight. You'll be there? I'll be there. Well, so long, Danny. Sergeant Santa Claus. See you at the party. Merry Christmas. That's a good kid. Appreciates the finer things. Feels good to be out, huh, Nick? Fifteen years is a long night without sleep, Danny. Yeah, feels good. And thanks for the job of Sandy Claus. I would miss it after all these years. The deal we made. That feels good too, huh? Oh yeah, yeah, the deal. Sure, Danny. I'll keep my promise to you. That's good. You won't Forget what happened 15 years ago on Christmas Eve. How can I forget? It was like today. I was all dressed up like Sandy Claus. I had a few idle hours and right in front of me there just happened to be an idle safe. So I cracked it. So I got caught. Uh huh. What are you gonna do now between now and eight o', clock, the time the party starts. Walk the thoroughfares and wish everybody joyous tidings. And pat kids on the head and leave their mother's purses alone. Oh, Danny, how can you talk to Sandy Claus that way? I promised you that. I'm sure you did. Hey, to Taglia. Yeah, Danny, tag along with Santa Claus. Fresh air will do you both good. Oh, gee, thanks, Danny, thanks. You know, the fresh air do us both good. Yeah, but hold his hand to Taglia so he won't get lost. We don't want him to get lost, do we? Oh no, Danny, no. Because what's Christmas without Santa Claus? Have fun, boys. So everybody was happy and that was good, because it was a season for it. Sergeant Tartaglia was happy because I had not only given him permission to leave the room, I told him to go out and take a walk with Santa Claus. And everyone knows that Santa Claus is always happy, even if, once upon a time, he had to spread his glad tidings around Sing Sing. I considered it a while, and then I decided to inhale the bloom of Christmas as it filtered through police headquarters. And it made me feel happy, too. It lasted for two inhales. The sign on the door says Lieutenant Danny Clover. I don't believe in signs. What's your name? Uh, what's yours? I came prepared for a question like that. Here's my card. Thanks. Simon Larrabee, Real Estate and Rentals. You renting something, Mr. Larrabee? Ah, that would give you the upper hand. Two questions. Am I one, and you haven't answered it yet. Danny Clover. Like the sign says, that's my name. You're quite right. I am renting something. Go ahead, rent away. I like to watch. I'm doing it now, just looking at you. I'm renting that property known as the warehouse at 2290 E. Grand St. Well, if it makes you happy. Wait a minute. That's our clubhouse. That's where the kids are having our Christmas party. Are you? What's the. What else can it be? Where's the rent? Rent for what? Rent for that property known as the warehouse at 2290 East Grand Street. You mean it hasn't been paid? How much is it? It's $62.50 a month. Oh, that includes utilities. I'll pay it. The club's treasurer will reimburse me. You don't understand, Mr. Clever. When I rent something, I get a year's rent in advance. That comes to $750. And I won it before there's any party there. Are you kidding? Why are those kids gonna get money like that? Well, I'll give you until 8 o' clock to get the money, and I'll just sit right here until then. All right. Grab yourself a police gazette. Never touch the stuff. See what you'll sell. Oh, excuse me, Simon. Danny Clover speaking. Danny? Danny. This is patrolling. Curcio. Yeah, what is it? I can hardly hear you, Curcio. Yeah. Yeah. Well, no wonder. Listen, what I gotta talk through. Listen, Danny. Hey, you see what I mean? Why the sirens? What's the trouble? Sergeant Tartaglia is up a tree. What? Sergeant Tartaglia is in a tree on the avenue. A playground. Danny, he flipped his lid. He's telling anyone that'll listen that there ain't no Santa Claus. Hey, you better come on down, Danny. When I got down to the avenue a playground. It was having the Christmas party of its life. A 30 foot tree complete with tinsel, candy canes, colored popcorn balls, firemen and a scared sergeant policeman forlorn and lost, pinned to its top branch. The fire department finally convinced Artaglia that a ladder was a safe invention for getting down out of tall trees at the bottom rung. He almost believed it. When his feet touched the ground, they gave him a blanket because he was suffering from shock. He was about to tell the newsreel boys his ordeal when I faced him. Oh, Danny, Danny. I was about to tell the newsreel boys my ordeal. Just tell me first, Taglia, because I hardly ever get to the movies. I'll be with you in just a minute, sir. Oh, Danny, it was awful. It was something awful. I only ask this because there's so much about you I don't know. Why do you climb trees? Oh, I don't, Danny. The height scares me. When I was a child, a tree threw me on the ground. Still you climbed this tree. Why? Because I'm a policeman. That makes sense. But how? Well, sure it does, Danny. The kids see me, I am a policeman. They need to put a star on top of that Christmas tree. They ask me because I am a policeman that can do such things. I couldn't let the department down, Danny. So you leave Nick Norman alone all by himself because you don't want to let the department down? Oh, I knew you would say that. But I trusted Nick because he is Santa Claus. He told me I could trust him. Sure you can, Tortaglia. But what happened to Santa Claus? He's not around. That's right. There ain't no Santa Claus. Like I've been saying. They told me you were saying that. What happened to him, Tortaglia? Well, Danny, whilst I was up in the tree pinning the star below me, I saw a big black bulletproof sedan. What kind? A big black bullet proof sedan. Now I know. Then what happened? Well, this big black bulletproof sedan stopped by. Nick, Our Santa Claus. Two men got out, talked him for a minute, then took him one by each arm, deposited him in the car, closed the door and away they sped, careening on two wheels. I yelled at them to stop, Danny, but I guess they didn't hear me on account of the hustle and bustle. Our Santa Claus. D'. Aglia. Where is he? Where'd he go? Well, If I was Santa Claus, I know where I'd go. Not that it matters, but where? Well, to my mother on Christmas Eve. She deserves something like that. I'm sure she does. May we have you now, Sergeant Tartaglia? Oh, make good in the newsreels, Tartaglia. This may be your big chance. Yeah. How are you, Mrs. Norman? Hi. I'm Danny Clover. Yeah? May I Come in, Mrs. Norman? Why? I want to talk to you. About what? About Nick. About your son. Come in. Thanks. In here? In the parlor. Sit down. Thank you. No, not on that seat. That one. What do you want to talk about? About Nick. Do you know where he is? No. Don't tell me no more. One day when he was nine years old, Nick said to me, he said, ma, don't ask me where I been no more. Cause I'll lie to you. That's what he said. Then you don't know where he is? Don't make me go through that again, sonny. Say, who are you to ask me questions? I told you I was. Yeah, yeah, you did. You said you Danny Clover. That don't mean nothing to me. Oh, you must be the guy come about. Aha, I am. That's why I came. Aha. Well, you tell me what you come here for. For? You know, just as you said. Oh, this I like. This lets me play cagey like in the old days. What are you talking about? You know, your son, Nick. You got a square? More than that, kiddo. What about Nick? We want him to be our Santa Claus. Bingo. That's good. Oh, it must be a good in a young man like you. Big, strong, looking for Santy Claus. Me, I just sat here in my rocking chair, Mrs. Norman, thinking about the times we had. Me and Big Ed, my husband. The time. I have to go now, Mrs. Norman. Where's your son? Oh, you made me go through it again. One day when he was nine years old, Nick said to me. Yeah, thanks, Mrs. Norman. Don't ask me where I've been. Hi, Danny. Did you find Santa Claus? No, uh, Tartaglia. What are you doing about it? Me? Nothing. That's good. Anyone to see me? Yeah, in your office. Hey, Danny. Danny. What are you angry at me for, huh? Danny. Hey, Danny, what's this I hear about Santa Claus taking a powder? You'll get your Santa Claus. Marty, you still here? Simon Larrabee? Yes, yes, yes. I'm waiting. Just as I told you. I'm waiting for my 750rent. Can you imagine this Ghana Than he on Christmas Eve. He wants his rent. This Is a Christmas no Santa Claus, no party. What am I going to tell my constituents? It'll work out, Marty. We'll get the money someplace by 8 o', clock, Mr. Larry. Shut up, Simon. But Danny knows Sandy Claus. Hold it. Hold it, everybody. I got a solution. Communications, this is Sergeant Cartagli in Danny Clover's office. An all points bulletin. Pickup man, description as follows. Height 5ft 11. Weight 235. When last seen, was wearing a red suit, a red hat with bells and black boots. Identifying marks. Has a long snow white beard. What's his name? Santy Claus. You are listening to Broadway's My Beat, starring Larry Thor as Detective Danny Clover. $51,000 in cash and wonderful prizes. Danny Seymour might play Santa Claus to you tonight. And he might fill up your stockings with that 51 grand. If you can identify the phantom voice, listen in just a little later tonight to sing it again. Broadway brings you Christmas in a lot of ways. You get dribbled around by the opposing teams of last minute shoppers. You ride backwards on up escalators so you can be in a good position for the down escalators. You get mauled and shoved and picked over. Finally you get gift wrapped and sent on your way. My way was out to lunch and back to police headquarters. Holding my Christmas stocking in my hand. I had two things. No rent and no Santa Claus. Two nothings which made for an empty holiday. Sergeant Tortaglia wasn't enjoying himself either and he expressed himself with sentiment. Bah humbug. What did you say to Taglia? Bah humbug. Danny, that's a Christmas expression. I picked up the when you wished it was the Fourth of July instead. Yeah, me too. You seen the afternoon papers, Danny? Yeah. Take a look at it. You look at it for me. What does it say? Well, first it has got a picture on the front page of a tree. In the tree is me. Then it says under it it says Officer Gino Tartaglia. Yeah. Hey, Danny. They spelled it right. Officer Tartagula spent the afternoon cavorting in a tree to the delight and applause of all the little. Oh, it runs on like that. Oh, forget it. It wasn't your fault then. That's what I tried to tell Mrs. Tartaglia. Doesn't she believe you, Danny? She called me on the phone. I said hello. She said, signal Tarzan. Then she started laughing, hysterical. I can't get her to talk. Every time I pick up my phone, all I hear is Mrs. Tartaglia laughing. I got my problems too. Yeah. This is probably the first time in the history of Santi he's ever heisted from his appointed rounds. Maybe. Hey, did you get in touch with Nick's mother again like I told you? Oh, Danny, she ain't nowhere to be found. The old day must have skipped. And the 200 Santa Clauses that the boys investigated, not one of these is Nick Norman under the beard. I'll get it, Danny. Thanks. Sergeant. Huh? Yeah, he's here. It's for you, Danny. Thank you. Danny Clover speaking. Danny, this is Max. Maxie, you know Maxine Riddell. Yeah, how are you, Maxie? I'm in lingerie, Danny. Come on down. What? In the lingerie department at Fletcher's department store. Working. I got news for you. News about Nick Norman. You interested, Danny? Yeah, yeah, I am. Hold on to everything, Maxie. I'll be right down. Here, mister, Take this black nightgown over to that girl over there. She'll gift wrap it up. Hi, Danny. How am I doing? Great, Maxie, only great. How long you been working here? Only for the Christmas season, Danny. But the way I've been operating, I think maybe they'll keep me on. No. No questions about your background. You mean about me being a shoplifter? Uh huh. That's the reason I got the job. The way I was lifting things, I told them it'd be cheaper for them if they put me on a sales floor, so they did. So for 22 bucks a week, I'm an honest mouse. Anyway, it's steady. Keep it that way, huh, Maxi? Anything you say, Danny. Well, now that we've had our tea, I guess you want to know about Nick. Yeah. Breaks my heart to be a stoolie. You know how it is, Danny. Me with my former alliances. But it's different now. Yeah, different. I want it to be different for Tussie too. You remember how it was between me and Tussle? How was? Was gorgeous. That's why I'm being a pigeon, Danny. If Nick made up his mind to be a kosher citizen, he should stick to it, not fall back into the arms of a mob like a doll. Who says, Mama? Which mob, Maxi? Tussie Kahn's such a name for a gorilla. Tussie? How do you figure a name like that? I don't know him. Where do I find him? Tussie just got back from Chicago. He bought the Domino Club. I happened to be passing there on my lunch hour and I saw Nick in a Santa Claus suit drinking grape juice with Tussie. Oh, excuse me, Danny. A customer. Yes, madam. Something for yourself? Thanks. Maxie, for what? We have some gorgeous outside girdles, madam. For everyday wear. They're right over here. The Domino Club in the West 50s is a bright and shiny joint plastered with black glass. It stands close to the ground between two peeling brownstones. When you walk into it, you have the feeling you're walking into the mouth of a beetle. Its walls are lined with black mirrors and its ceiling is draped with folds of scarlet silk. And at six o' clock of a Christmas Eve, the boys, complete with Christmas wrapped girls, are beginning to gather. You ask a busboy in white tined tails where his tussle and he lifts an eyebrow to a guy standing near the bandstand. A guy grinning like an alley cat while a girl pins a sprig of mistletoe to his lapel. You wait till she kisses Tussie. Then Tussie kisses her. But his eyes are open and flicking around the joint. So he sees you and pushes the girl away. Beat it, Blitzen. I got company. Merry Christmas, stranger. You want something from Tussie boy. Same to you. And I want Nick Norman. That's a big desire on a holiday. Why you want Nick? Tell Tussie boy. Maybe I gotta explain. I'm Danny Clover, a cop. I want him. Don't everybody come with me, Sonny. Santa's right down at the end of this hallway. Merry Christmas, Melvin. Ain't it though, Tussie? Merry Christmas. Likewise, I'm sure. I brought you a present, boys. Goody, likewise. Where's Nick Norman? This fella here, he says to Tussie boy, he wants Nick Norman, our Santa Claus. Uh oh. What big guys you have, mister. And you know something else that's plain precious, boys? No, do tell us, Tussie. The fella says he is a cop. Isn't that cuter? I could die. Yes. So show the fella Santa Claus, huh, fellas? Merry Christmas, Danny Clover. Oh, Tussie boy said that, didn't he? Stay away from me. But first we want to wish you on a star. You too crazy. Stay away from me. I think that was not enough stars. I'll give him another package. You know that Tussie's good to us. He gave us the best Christmas present two fellas could. Could ever have. Don't be greedy, Melvin. Leave some for me. Oh, look at this. It's all gone. Come on, Danny, open your eyes. What? Yeah, open your eyes, Danny. It's getting late. Ain't you hurt? Christmas is coming. Hey, it's you, Nick Norman. Aw, Danny. Call me Sandy Claus. That's the nicest alias I got. Now look, Nick, I'm going to. Oh, here, I'll help you up, Danny. Sit on the edge of the sofa there. Yeah. Santa Claus, Danny. Santa Claus, huh? So help me, Nick, where I'm gonna put you. You'll spend the next 94 Christmases in solitary. Take it easy, Danny. Come on, let's get out of here. I'll be late for that kids party. Come on. You mean let's get out of here? Just like that? I don't have to beat my way out of here. What for? What's all this about, Nick? Santa Claus, you adult today. Danny, what's the matter with you? But you were kidnapped. Kidnapped? Me? Who would want to do a thing like that to jolly old me? A man in a tree said two guys pushed you into a car. He only had a bird's eye view, but he said kidnapped. Or Humie Melville and George. I mean Melvin and George. Two pals from Chicago, Daddy. They heard I was out and wanted I should be Sandy Claus to a private party they was giving. That's all harmless, guys, pals, buddies, we enjoy each other. Yeah, they enjoyed me too. Before they left town for this party, they said to tell you. Oh, wait a minute. I wrote it down. It says, dear Danny Clover, sorry we made a mistake and beat up your head. May the bells ring a joyous Noel for you. Signed xx. That's Melvin and George. A mistake, huh? Sure. They knew some mob or other might try to get me a Santa Claus. They figured you was a mob, so they protected me from you like. Like you was fibbing about being a cop. After they walloped you unconscious, they went through your pockets and saw you was really a. So they wrote this note. The running ink, you see here on the note, Danny, that's tears. You'll forgive him, won't you, Danny? Yeah. How about your mother? Well, that was your error, Danny. You didn't tell mom you was from the police. So she thought, just like Melvin and George gave me the double talk. Yeah, that's my mom. A grand old dame, you know. You know what I told her once when I was nine years old? Yeah? Yeah. My sleigh's outside. I'll give you a ride back to my office. Well, that means the whole thing was an error in identification and motive, as they say, huh? Don't he? That's right. Isn't that right, Santa? Sure. I'll tell it to you again if you want. No, never mind. What happened to Simon Laraby? Oh, he went out for a feast of spud nuts. And hey, you don't look very happy, Tartaglia. No, Danny, I ain't happy. Unhappy, Very. What's the matter? We've got Santa Claus. Come on, smile. It's going to be a fine Christmas. I can't, Danny. I just can't. It's Mrs. Tartaglia. Yeah, now she ain't laughing anymore. The neighbors are laughing and Mrs. Tataglia is crying. Why? Well, the later editions of the paper said that Santa Claus was heist and it was because I was in a tree there. The papers say I single handed messed up Christmas. Bad as that, huh? Well, I'll tell you what about my Christmas party. Not yet, Sandy. Wait till you get to the party. Say, the press was saying that you were snatched, Sandy. What gives? It said that mobsters grabbed you. Nah, it was just a little misunderstood. That's right, Marty. Nick was grabbed by mobsters, huh? Yeah. Well then how'd he get away? Sergeant Tartaglia? Yeah. Uh huh. Sergeant Orteglia. The kind of policeman who tracks down criminals to the lair. I am, Danny. The kind that single handed rescued Santa Claus from the jaws of disaster. This guy did that? Yep. I'm just about to call the press boys and tell them about it. Aw, Danny. I mean it, Titlia. Don't be so modest. I'm gonna do just that, Danny. Put Marty in a cab title. I'll send Santa down the squad car in a little while. Yeah, sure. Well, come on, little Pike. I mean Marty. Okay. Merry Christmas, Danny. Whatever you tell the press guys, Danny, I'll swear to it. Sure, sure you will. That's a fine Christmas you're giving everybody, Danny. How about yourself? I'll have fun at the party. I always do. Where is it? Where's my money? Oh, look, Mr. Larrabee, it's Christmas. Of course it's Christmas. That's why I want my rent. So I can have a Merry Christmas. Hey, Danny, who is this guy that needs rent to have a merry Christmas? This is Simon Larrabee. Once a year's rent in advance for that warehouse. The kids are having their party or else no party. Yes, that's who I am. Oh, like that, huh? So that's how you are, huh, Simon? Stop breathing in my face, Santa Claus. All them kids wanting to have a party and a Simon like you wants to louse it up. Put him down. I ain't doing nothing, Danny. Just holding Simon up so I can breathe in his face. Please. I want you to think about something, Simon. Think about all those kids that are looking forward to that Christmas party. Which ain't gonna happen on account of you. Think about it. All right, I'm thinking. Yes. Maybe you could think better with a pen in your hand, Simon. A pen that will write out a receipt for a year's rent in advance. Huh, Simon? Of course, of course, of course. Oh, Christmas spirit and all that. Yes. I'll get my receipt. Post. Oh, yeah. Oh, my. Well, I haven't felt so good in years. Ah, yes. Here you are, Mr. Glover. A receipt for a year's rent in advance. And tell the darlings Merry Christmas with this. Yeah, yeah, I will. Ain't he a nice fella, Danny? Come on, nice fella. I'll take you to a party. Merry Christmas, Danny. It's a merry, merry, merry Christmas, Danny. Merry Christmas. Yeah. Merry christmas. On Christmas Eve, Broadway is almost like any other place in the world. The bell bells ring out, the horns blow, there's laughter. The Mazdas on the trans luck spell out slowly, word by word, peace on earth, goodwill to men. And you read it. You believe it, because on Christmas Eve, you believe a miracle. Then a whirl of confetti is in your eyes and you're pushed along with a crowd. And you never see the next news bulletin. You don't try to look back. It's Broadway. The merriest, the shiniest, the lonesomest mile in the world. Broadway. My beat. Broadway's My Beat stars Larry Thor as Detective Danny Clover and is written by Morton Fine and David Friedkin. The musical score was composed by Alexander Courage and conducted by Wilbur Hatch, and the program was produced and directed by Elliot Lewis. The cast tonight included Charles Calvert, Gil Stratton, Jr. Howard McNear, Hal March, Burt Holland, Shep Menken, Estelle Dodge, Peggy Weber. We just heard the Damon Runyon Theater, the Whistler, and Broadway is My Beat. That will do it for this week's show. Thanks for joining me, and I hope that wherever you are and however you're celebrating, your holidays are safe, happy and restful. I'll be back on Wednesday with one more round of holiday mystery in our bonus series. We'll close it out with Sherlock Holmes and Dragnet. You can also check out stars on Suspense, my other old time radio podcast. New episodes of that show are out on Thursdays. If you like what you're hearing. Don't be afraid, stranger. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. And if you'd like to lend support to the show, you can visit buymeacoffee.com meansts OTR. I'll be back on Wednesday with one more bonus Christmas episode. But until then, good night and happy listening, Sam. Now here is our star, Vincent Price. Ladies and gentlemen. In a prejudice filled America, no one would be secure in his job, his business, his church or his home. Yet racial and religious antagonisms are exploited daily by quacks and adventurers whose followers make up the irresponsible lunatic fringe of American life.