Episode 663 - Waterfront Webb (Pat Novak for Hire)

Summary

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Down These Mean Streets – Episode 663: "Waterfront Webb (Pat Novak for Hire)"

Podcast: Down These Mean Streets (Old Time Radio Detectives)
Host: Mean Streets Podcasts
Episode Date: April 5, 2026
Topic: Celebrating Jack Webb’s birthday with four classic mysteries from "Pat Novak for Hire"

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Episode Overview

This special episode spotlights Jack Webb, legendary for "Dragnet," but here celebrated for his earlier hardboiled detective role as Pat Novak. The host introduces Pat Novak as a tough, sardonic, and unlucky boat rental operator on San Francisco’s waterfront, constantly drawn into murder and intrigue. The episode features four gripping Pat Novak radio dramas from 1949, showcasing Webb’s witty, poetic noir style and memorable supporting cast, including “Jocko” Madigan and Inspector Hellman.

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Main Segments & Discussion Points

1. [00:54] Host’s Introduction: Jack Webb’s Detective Legacy

• The host introduces the month-long Jack Webb tribute, explaining his influential roles and the colorful, satirical, and hardboiled tone of "Pat Novak for Hire."
• Discusses the trajectory of Novak—regional beginnings, national runs, and its notable copycat, "Johnny Pier 23."
• Highlights the vivid scriptwriting of Richard Breen and the chemistry between characters, particularly villains, femme fatales, and Inspector Hellman.

Quote

“Pat Novak never went looking for trouble, but it always found him...What made the show stand out were its scripts, its dialogue and narration, colorful, vivid lines laced with similes and turns of phrase that could be parodies of hard-boiled noir if played off-key.” — Host [01:00-02:30]

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2. [07:33 & 37:04 & 66:04 & 96:06] The Pat Novak Mysteries

This episode features four complete radio mysteries, each with Jack Webb’s signature voiceover, sardonic humor, and labyrinthine plots.

Mystery 1: The Jack of Clubs

(Starts ~[07:33])

• Opening on the San Francisco waterfront, Pat Novak is mistakenly given $1,000 at his bank—a set-up linked to a murdered smuggler, stolen microfilm, and double-crossing femme fatale Connie Riley.
• Novak, framed for murder, must untangle a plot involving the FBI, a missing playing card, and a crooked inspector.
• Classic noir banter throughout, with observations like:

  “Sometimes in a good week you can duck trouble three or four days in a row. And then it creeps up on you like an old charger.” — Pat Novak [08:11]

• The story unspools with dead bodies, saps on the head, and a clever twist: the actual microfilm was inside a tube of toothpaste, missed by all but Novak and Jocko.

Key Moments

• Connie Riley’s layered motives and dialogue with Novak (notably [13:00-13:15])
• Inspector Hellman’s endless suspicions (“You’re my project, Novak. When they asked us for help, I stuffed the ballot box to get you.” — Hellman [15:10])

Conclusion

• The case is solved when Novak notices Connie’s elastic garter, matching the knot from the murder weapon ([33:00-33:15]).
• Final reflection on the nature of trouble and the small clues that solve big crimes.

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Mystery 2: The Fleet Lady Fix

(Starts ~[37:04])

• Jockey Jackie Greg hires Novak to find a missing racehorse, Fleet Lady, leading Novak into the shadows of the race track, gambling cheats, and Sybil Thornton—a classic femme fatale.
• Both the horse and Greg turn up dead, and Novak gets squeezed between Hellman, gamblers, and double-crossers.

Notable Banter

“You sound frightened, Junior.”
“And you sound nosy. Here’s 200. I want you to find the horse.”
— Novak & Jackie Greg [39:32]

• Suspects include a cunning bookie, a disloyal lover, and a pair of duplicitous women, all vying for a big racing fix.
• The case unravels with planted evidence, poison, and multiple murders—all centered around whether Fleet Lady will run (and if so, who profits).
• The solution: Novak exposes a murderous conspirator with a sharp, dark quip about poetic justice and the unpredictable nature of horse racing ([64:12-64:43]).

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Mystery 3: The Hit-and-Run Envelope

(Starts ~[66:04])

• Novak witnesses an old man struck down by a car and is entrusted with $300 and a letter to deliver to "John St. John."
• The old man dies before explaining, and Novak is drawn into a world of espionage, rival agents, and multiple overlapping identities.
• Encounters with two dangerous women, a psychoanalyst with deadly habits, and a trail of bodies polluted by government secrets and a mysterious insignia (the “spliced crosses").
• Suspension, tough-guy dialogue, frequent sapping, and Novak’s frequent run-ins with Hellman generate fierce, entertaining exchanges.
• The twist: "John St. John" is not a man but the name of an espionage ring. The real traitor is uncovered via poisoned drinks and betrayed lovers ([91:49-92:41]).

Memorable Exchange

“You're the only one could have taken that Jack of Clubs here in the apartment. That and one other thing.”
“Yeah?”
“That knot in the cord was a funny knot...”
— Novak confronting Connie Riley [32:39–33:02]

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Mystery 4: Woman and Her Handbag

(Starts ~[96:06])

• Novak is hired to tail Agnes Bolton, a dowdy woman with a mysterious green handbag.
• Femme fatales, shadowy men, and government intrigue collide—Bolton is killed by quick poison, and the bag becomes a deadly prize for multiple spies.
• Humorous and dark character sketches:

  “She was at least 50 because you can’t get that ugly without years of practice…part of her hair had come undone and hung down in her face like the branches on a dead tree.” — Novak [101:40]

• Bodies pile up: Agnes Bolton, a little man, and a nightclub singer all meet tragic ends as Novak follows the trail through San Francisco’s underworld.
• The plot hinges on a government microfilm smuggling ring split into rival teams, both using Novak as a patsy.
• Final act: a recorded phone call reveals the culprit, and after a dramatic chase, the master spy is cornered.

Noir Wit Example

“Will you stop drinking, Jocko? I hate whiskey, Patsy, but I'm drinking tonight with a purpose. I made a deal with Charlie the bartender to buy every eighth drink and I got him on the run.” — Jocko Madigan [110:48]

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Highlights: Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hardboiled Similes and Banter
  “It was a kind of walk that makes you flip the calendar and find out how far away so spring is.” — Novak, describing a femme fatale [42:39].

• Jocko’s Philosophical Rants
  “You have no more self-control than a bucket of mercury dumped on a marble staircase…” [70:25]

• Inspector Hellman’s Barbs
  “Where's your trainer?”
  “Your boys get paid to laugh at you, Hellman. I don't.” — [43:24]

• Meta-Humor and Noir Parody
  “Some mornings you can’t trust yourself with a razor.” — Novak’s regretful self-deprecation [117:02]

• Host’s summary of the Jack Webb style
  “Jack Webb covers the waterfront as Pat Novak, and we'll hear some of his radio adventures right after these messages.” [03:58]

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Key Timestamps

• [00:54] Host’s introduction and context for the tribute
• [07:33] Beginning of "Jack of Clubs" episode
• [37:04] New Pat Novak episode starts (The Fleet Lady Fix)
• [66:04] Third drama: "Hit-and-Run Envelope"
• [96:06] Fourth drama: "Woman and Her Handbag"
• [125:36] Host's closing, preview, and podcast sign-off

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Tone & Language

• Wry, sardonic, and jam-packed with noir wordplay, similes, and sharp one-liners.
• The characters’ tough-guy personas and poetic, tongue-in-cheek narrative style are maintained throughout ("You sound like a guy named Chris.” “If it makes you feel better.” [22:46]).
• The host reverently contextualizes Webb’s artistry and the era’s pulpy detective tropes.

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For First-Time Listeners

This episode offers an immersive journey into the golden age of radio noir, centering on four intricate cases from "Pat Novak for Hire." Jack Webb’s Novak is an archetype for the genre: wise-cracking, world-weary, often outgunned but never outwitted for long. The supporting cast, vivid dialogue, and hard-edged humor are all on display, providing not just entertainment but a living history of crime drama’s evolution.

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Further Listening & Next Week

• The host previews the next installment in Jack Webb month: "Jeff Regan, Investigator."
• Suggestions for exploring more old time radio detectives on previous and upcoming episodes.
• Reinforcement of the show’s community and interactive features.

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If you enjoyed the flavor of classic noir, you’ll find these Pat Novak mysteries as sharp and satisfying as ever—ironically poetic, fatalistically funny, and masterfully performed.

Transcript

[Pat Novak]

Get this and get it straight.

[Narrator]

Crime is a sucker's road and those who travel it wind up in the gut of the prison of the grave. The story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective the

[Announcer]

Adventures of the Saint Starring Vincent Price. Bob Bailey in the exciting adventures of the man with the action packed expense account, America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yours truly, Johnny Dollar.

[Host]

Hello and welcome to down these Mean Streets and more old time radio detectives and crime solvers. This month we're celebrating the birthday of one of the patron saints of old time radio mystery and crime drama Producer, director and actor Jack Webb. Born April 2, 1920, Webb is best known today for Dragnet. But that landmark police procedural was just one of many radio mysteries he headlined in the 40s and 50s. Each Sunday in April will shine a spotlight on one of those shows starting today with Pat Novak for Hire, the series that really put Webb on the map and helped pave the way for his future success. Pat Novak never went looking for trouble, but it always found him. Novak tried to make a living renting boats on the San Francisco waterfront, but he inevitably wound up involved in a mystery. Along the way he'd be helped by barfly Jocko Madigan, one of radio's best supporting characters. And he'd be hindered by bullheaded Inspector Hellman of homicide. The stories on Pat Novak were typical radio detective fare. Cases of mistaken identity, duplicitous dames and tough underworld characters. But what made the show stand out were its scripts, its dialogue and narration colorful, vivid lines laced with similes and turns of phrase that could be parodies of hard boiled noir if played off key. The show began its life as a regional broadcast out of San Francisco in 1946, but its popularity led Webb and writer Richard Breen to the Mutual network where they created a copycat series called Johnny Pier 23. It really is the same show with a find and replace for the character names. The regional series of Pat Novak continued with actor Ben Morris stepping into the title role. Though without Richard Breen's scripts and Webb's performance, it didn't have the same pop. After Johnny Madera, Webb starred on CBS as Jeff Regan, investigator. But in between his stints as Regan and the launch of Dragnet, he returned to the world of Pat Novak for a new series in 1949, this one airing on the national ABC network. In this show, Tudor Owen played Jocko and Raymond Burr, in his pre Perry Mason days, played Inspector Hellman. The new Pat Novak lasted from February until June 1949, but by that time Webb had already set up shop on NBC with Dragnet. Today we'll hear a quartet of Pat Novak mysteries, beginning with an episode known as Jack of clubs from February 20, 1949. Then he gets mixed up with a racehorse called Fleet lady in an episode from March 6, 1949. Next, a hit and run victim gives Novak a job in a show from May 21, 1949. And finally, Novak discovers he's not the only one on the trail of a Woman and Her Handbag. In an episode from June 4, 1949, Jack Webb covers the waterfront as Pat Novak, and we'll hear some of his radio adventures right after these messages.

[Announcer]

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[Pat Novak (main character)]

new dream for Hollywood Sheen Improved dream for Hollywood sheen.

[Joan Hayward]

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[Pat Novak (main character)]

Get wonderful new green shampoo.

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Announcer]

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[Jocko Madigan]

Not merely crimes of violence and crimes

[Narrator]

of dishonesty, but crimes of intolerance, discrimination and bad citizenship. Crimes against America. Ladies and gentlemen, the American Broadcasting Company brings to its entire network one of radio's most unusual programs. Pat Novak for higher.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure, I'm pat novak for hire. That's what the cyanide in front of my shop says. Pat Novak for hire. Down here on the San Francisco waterfront,

[Jocko Madigan]

it's gotta be that way.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You gotta rob a few graves if you want cigarette money.

[Jocko Madigan]

You need lots of work and roomy

[Pat Novak (main character)]

sleeves if you're gonna play a pat hand. Sometimes in a good week you can duck trouble three or four days in a row. And then it creeps up on you like an old charger. Well, I should have known that when I went to the bank I was up to my knees in mud and didn't even know it was rainy season. It was Tuesday. I went by the bank to drop a hundred bucks. It was about time because they were beginning to play handball with my checks. Must have been about 11 o' clock when I got to the window.

[Narrator]

Hello, Mr. Novak. Isn't it a grand morning?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

If it's your choice, stay with it.

[Connie Riley]

Ah, yes.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Deposit 100 bucks.

[Narrator]

Yes, let me get your card.

[Connie Riley]

It's right here, I think. Yes, here we are.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right. Hundred bucks. Give me a duplicate, will you?

[Jocko Madigan]

Certainly.

[Narrator]

My, this isn't as big as the last deposit.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Look, bloomer girl, just mark the slip, huh?

[Narrator]

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Novak. I guess I'm not used to thousand dollar deposits.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What thousand dollars?

[Narrator]

Your Friday deposit.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I wasn't in here Friday.

[Narrator]

Oh, you must have been. The card says you put in $1,000 on Friday.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Give me that card. What did Santa look like? But who put the dough in? What'd the guy look like?

[Narrator]

Oh, didn't you?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No. Look, we'll double back and try to hang on this time, will ya?

[Jocko Madigan]

I wasn't in here Friday.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I don't know anything about an extra grand. Now, what did the guy look like?

[Narrator]

I wasn't on duty Friday. Yeah, I'm not even sure about the fellow today.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What fellow?

[Narrator]

There was a man in here to ask about the account.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Did this good fairy have a name?

[Narrator]

No, just credentials. He was from the FBI.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I see.

[Narrator]

Is there anything wrong, Mr. Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, don't mind that complexion. I forgot my foundation cream. Oh, I should have known right then A mysterious grand tossed into the till. I didn't wake up to trouble, but I'm a smart boy who'd be the village idiot in a town the size of New York Well, I left the bank and went up to my apartment. That thousand bucks was already drawing interest. When I came in, she was sitting on the couch drinking my whiskey. She could have all she wanted. A 1949 Panther model, just the right amount of size 12. And a dress that looked like a well tailored fig leaf. When she was through looking you over, you felt like the Sunday supplement.

[Connie Riley]

Hello, Mr. Novak. I like your apartment.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's good.

[Connie Riley]

The view is wonderful.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

So is yours. What's on your mind?

[Connie Riley]

How about a drink?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How poor you talk.

[Connie Riley]

My name is Connie Riley. Make me one, too.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure.

[Connie Riley]

As you were saying, my name is Connie Riley.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, well, I've memorized that much. Go on. Here's your drink.

[Connie Riley]

Thanks. Sit down.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right.

[Connie Riley]

Over next to me. I won't buy it.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's too bad. Go on.

[Connie Riley]

Well, here's the new bank account, Patsy.

[Jocko Madigan]

Look, sis, if you're here just for the field trial's all right. But if you got a bill of

[Pat Novak (main character)]

goods, trot it out.

[Connie Riley]

I will. I want that card, too, Patsy. I want it ahead of Chris.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I'll catch up with another drink. In the meantime, you fill in and help me.

[Connie Riley]

Will you stop sitting on your hands, angel? You didn't get that thousand bucks for the sweat of your brow.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Not yet.

[Connie Riley]

Somebody padded your account so you'd be a nice boy. I want you to be a nice boy for me. At the same rates the Monterey Rose docks today. A passenger named Kirk Tooney is carrying a jack of Clubs and it means a lot to me.

[Jocko Madigan]

It doesn't mean a thing to me,

[Pat Novak (main character)]

except the FBI is on my tail.

[Connie Riley]

Mr. Novak, you're turning a momentary advantage into a crowbar.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You take your deal to some other broker.

[Connie Riley]

You're in business whether you like it or not. Patsy, you're gonna stub your toe either way. Only to me, it'll be more fun.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How about the FBI?

[Connie Riley]

They're being frightened by a group of bureaucrats.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's what Trotsky thought.

[Connie Riley]

How much, Patsy? How much for that card?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

When you get it, the price is a grand.

[Connie Riley]

You're an amusing guy, Patsy.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, and a grand I can afford to be.

[Connie Riley]

You don't even know what the Jack of Clubs is all about. You never heard of Kirk Toomey till five minutes. But you take things in stride as

[Narrator]

if the whole world belong to you.

[Connie Riley]

Yeah, you're like Adam when he first spotted the Garden of Eden.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, little Eve.

[Pat Novak]

It's a thousand bucks.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Remember, you're sitting on my doorstep. Now, either go on home or come in the house.

[Narrator]

Good.

[Connie Riley]

I'll take the card. That's your price. Now I can relax.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I bet you can.

[Connie Riley]

Pour me another drink, Patsy.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, sure, in a minute.

[Connie Riley]

What comes next? Can I get three guesses?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You got time to take them?

[Connie Riley]

I won't need them all.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, it's up to you. Come here, angel. You ever hear of the early bird?

[Connie Riley]

Yeah, do I make a nice worm?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You wriggle like one.

[Connie Riley]

Aren't you raising the price a little, Mr. Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Straight 18%, darling.

[Connie Riley]

That's too bad. I wasn't even gonna scream.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The next place I live is gonna be a cave. Just a minute, will you?

[Inspector Hellman]

Hello, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Oh, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

Well, well. Am I interrupting anything?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, we were just going over an old seed catalog.

[Jocko Madigan]

Mr. Riley.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Mrs. Inspector Hellman, San Francisco Police.

[Connie Riley]

Good morning, inspector. Don't bother to arrest me now. I'm just leaving.

[Inspector Hellman]

So soon?

[Connie Riley]

My sentiments exactly, inspector.

[Jackie Greg]

Bye.

[Connie Riley]

Bye, Patsy. You can get me at the concert on Push. Speak. See you around, Pat.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure.

[Inspector Hellman]

Well, you're slipping, Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hm?

[Inspector Hellman]

No rain check.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, funny man. What's your problem?

[Inspector Hellman]

You. You ever see this guy before?

[Jocko Madigan]

Let me see.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

He's an awful looking thug.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Who is he, your father?

[Inspector Hellman]

A guy by the name of Max Coleman. The FBI trailed him to your bank Friday. They think he gave you a thousand bucks.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah?

[Inspector Hellman]

Where'd you get the thousand bucks, Novak?

[Jocko Madigan]

What do you care, Hellman?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Maybe a relative. Maybe a maiden aunt.

[Inspector Hellman]

Nobody's related to you, Novak. You're in a jam, lover, and I'm here to push you farther in. Max Coleman buys his groceries with foreign dough.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What are you weeping about? Arrest the guy if you don't like him.

[Inspector Hellman]

There's government microfilm coming in on the Monterey Rose. That thousand bucks makes you a contact man for Coleman.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Send the FBI over, then. Where do you fit in? Waiting for somebody to drop some loose change?

[Inspector Hellman]

You're my project, Novak. When they asked us for help, I

[Pat Novak (main character)]

stuffed the ballot box to get you.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah, so relax. I'm gonna spend the rest of the day here. You're not gonna leave the living room.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I gotta spend the day with you. I'll take knockout drops.

[Inspector Hellman]

Suit yourself.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

What's this stuff?

[Jocko Madigan]

That's good scotch.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You wouldn't know. The cheap liquor's out in the kitchen closet.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's for you.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right.

[Narrator]

Over by the stove here.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's Right.

[Inspector Hellman]

What do you keep in here, Novak?

[Jocko Madigan]

Mops and brooms?

[Inspector Hellman]

Where'd you buy this one?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What are you talking about?

[Inspector Hellman]

Where'd you buy this one? Smart man.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hellman was right. I could tell right away it wasn't a mop when Hellman pushed him out. He rolled out onto the linoleum a dapper little guy, except for a piece of cord around his throat tied in a funny knot. It was deader than a broken drum. Somebody pulled too hard on that piece of cord. The veins were standing out in his forehead. His face looked like a road map lying there on the floor. He wasn't pretty. Hellman thought so, too.

[Inspector Hellman]

Who is he, Novak? Your father.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I've never seen him in my closet before.

[Inspector Hellman]

Who is he, Novak?

[Jocko Madigan]

I don't know. Hellman, finders keepers. You roll him.

[Inspector Hellman]

Give me a hand. There's nothing there. Where's his wallet?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

He'll get there by instinct.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah, here it is. His name is Kirk Toomey.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That helps.

[Inspector Hellman]

Who is he?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The guy in the Monterey Rose.

[Inspector Hellman]

The one with the micro film?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I guess so.

[Narrator]

I thought you didn't know anything about it.

[Inspector Hellman]

How'd you know I came from the Monterey Rose?

[Jocko Madigan]

My dream book, Hellman,

[Pat Novak (main character)]

what happens now?

[Inspector Hellman]

Nothing, except I'm on the case now and you got trouble in a major key.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You don't think I killed this guy?

[Inspector Hellman]

I don't know.

[Jocko Madigan]

Did you?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You better hop out and tail that girl. She was making herself at home when I got here.

[Announcer]

Yeah?

[Inspector Hellman]

How do I know you're not in it together?

[Jocko Madigan]

You don't cop her. Maybe she's Lobenheim, Leopold. When you're through with her, you might

[Pat Novak (main character)]

hit the Monterey and start looking for

[Jocko Madigan]

a Jack of Clubs some more.

[Inspector Hellman]

Dream book, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Everybody's looking for a Jack of Clubs, Hellman. It must be the end of the rainbow. That's where you're gonna find that microfilm.

[Inspector Hellman]

In the meantime, you stay handy, Novak. I want to split you with the FBI.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You don't think I'm gonna take the rap for Junior here, do you?

[Inspector Hellman]

It says that in my book. Just relax until I'm ready to pick you up. I only have to find a couple of things.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That'll be a long time, Hellman. You can't find your hip pocket with Radar.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'll be around soon, Novak. Don't bother to pack your bags. You'll be traveling light.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, when Hillman left, I knew I was a second division club. That phony plant in the bank, the tie up with Max Coleman and that stiff in the kitchen made Me look real bad. I had to do something in a hurry because the way things stood, I had about as much chance as a lawn party in a monsoon. There weren't a lot of bases to tag, so I looked up Jocko Madigan. An ex doctor who invented the hangover, but a good guy. I finally found him over in north beach at a little joint called Lupo's. He was eating pizza with one hand and strangling a bottle of wine with the other.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hello, Pepsi. Oh, Frank, a bottle of wine for Mr. Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, I'm short on time, Jocko.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's where you're wrong, Patsy. People always say it, but it's a lie.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Will you calm down a minute?

[Jocko Madigan]

You say you're short on time, but you have all the time there is. It's the one thing that keeps you from being a beggar. There are only 24 hours in a day and that gives you as much time as Napoleon or Alexander had.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Will you shut up a minute and put on that wine?

[Jocko Madigan]

I'm celebrating, Patsy. I'm celebrating Mission Day.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Mission Day's over.

[Jocko Madigan]

I'm a native son. We celebrate longer.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Now. Look, I'm behind the eight ball again.

[Jocko Madigan]

Isn't it getting kind of crowded back there? What's the matter?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Somebody strangled a guy and put him in my broom closet.

[Jocko Madigan]

When did you find him?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I didn't. Hellman did. There's a girl named Connie Riley. Looks good for the job.

[Jocko Madigan]

Why doesn't Hellman Booker then?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

He's still picking up the pieces. The dead guy is Kirk Toomey. He was set to smuggle in some microfilm. It says here I'm contact. You gotta help me, Jocko.

[Jocko Madigan]

You've got me confused with the travel agency.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I want you to hop down to headquarters, get all the dope you can on this guy to me. I'm gonna look up Connie Riley.

[Jocko Madigan]

How did she get in the picture?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What difference does it make? She's a wrestler I met this morning. Now, get on to headquarters, will you?

[Jocko Madigan]

That's why I like you, Patsy. You're like a piece of blank verse. A bad piece of blank verse.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, Jocko. I'm gonna make like a strip of bacon if I don't get going. Stay close to headquarters. If anything looks good, contact me at Connie Riley's here at this address.

[Jackie Greg]

All right.

[Jocko Madigan]

How many times shall I knock, lover?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I left Gio and dropped by the apartment. I was smart and full of courage.

[Connie Riley]

My.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

A field mouse at bay. The police had already been there. There was fingerprint powder all over and the Two bottles of whiskey were gone. They'd moved Laughing Boy out of the kitchen. So I sat down trying to add things up. I had a short list of friends to see. Connie, Max Coleman and whoever this guy Chris was. I had to show up with one of them or prove that Kurt Toomey hung himself in my closet. I was getting ready to borrow a piece of cord myself when the phone rang. Yeah?

[Inspector Hellman]

Hello, Nolak? This is Hellman.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I'm thrilled. What's on your mind?

[Inspector Hellman]

I just called on your girlfriend.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What'd she say?

[Jocko Madigan]

Nothing.

[Inspector Hellman]

She wasn't there. Hasn't been there since 10 o' clock this morning.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's funny.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah. You know where she is?

[Jocko Madigan]

How would I know?

[Inspector Hellman]

Just thought she might be in your closet. I picked up Toomey stuff on the Monterey Rose.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah? What'd you find?

[Inspector Hellman]

The usual stuff. Few clothes, some shaving equipment, razor blades, toothpaste and a pack of playing cards.

[Jocko Madigan]

Pack of cards.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, you know where to go from there, Hellman.

[Jocko Madigan]

I thought I did grab that jack of clubs.

[Inspector Hellman]

Will a ten of hearts do?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Huh?

[Inspector Hellman]

That's right, Novak. A nice fat deck where the jack of clubs is missing.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Oh, you're always too little too late, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

I just thought I'd let you know, friend, in case you start a bridge game with 53 cards in the deck. Good night.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I was losing money fast, like a street carnival in Death Valley. Well, one or two things happened. Somebody got on that boat and took the jack of clubs while Toomey was at my apartment. Or maybe he brought it with him. If he brought it with him, Connie was a possibility. Or somebody that got there ahead of Connie. Well, anyway, I had to work fast now because whoever had that card wasn't going to put it on a market street float. About 10 minutes later, I cut across Union Square and up Bush Street. When I got to Connie's apartment, It was about 10 o'. Clock. I got in the back door and started through. She wasn't there. So I went to work looking for that jack of clubs.

[Jocko Madigan]

It was real easy.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I tied the desk and her bureau drawer. You know, had black chiffons coming back in style because that's where I found the card. It looked nice nestling there. I put it in my pocket and that's as far as I got.

[Narrator]

You run the lingerie counter here, Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You sound like a guy named Chris.

[Narrator]

If it makes you feel better.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Should we put on the light?

[Narrator]

No, no, let's don't put on the light. This gun might upset you.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The police are looking for you. Chris, you need more than the dark.

[Narrator]

I understand they're looking for you, Novak. That Riley girl kind of put you on the spot.

[Jocko Madigan]

Tell you what I'll do, though.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah?

[Jocko Madigan]

You'll give me a thousand dollars for the Jack of Clubs.

[Narrator]

I started to say 500.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Around here, that's a whisper and even grand.

[Narrator]

Mister, you're trying to collect too many places. Want the 500?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, I don't.

[Narrator]

All right, But I think you're a bum. Business.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Jocko found me catnapping on Connie's bare rug. Must have been right after the sapping. When I woke up, Jocko was thumbing my head like a housewife with a bowl of margarine. I felt around and waited for him to put the floor in again. I reached in my pocket. The Jack of Clubs was gone. Then I started to talk.

[Jocko Madigan]

Jocko, did you expect someone better?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Help me out, will you?

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, I've helped to get up so much, I feel like one of the Wright brothers.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I just lost round three.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah, I saw him getting into the car. Did you get a number like Hellman's got yours? Here it is.

Let me see.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Anything break down at Homicide?

[Jocko Madigan]

They got all the dope onto me. They had to piece it together. He had no fingerprint record and they finally confirmed things with a set of false teeth.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What does it prove?

[Jocko Madigan]

Nothing much, except you probably killed him. He was a foreign agent who picked up microfilm at Shanghai. Your girlfriend is pretty.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Did they find her?

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Dead.

[Jackie Greg]

No.

[Jocko Madigan]

Patsy, you've got to stop thinking of people as being dead all the time. It's demoralizing.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What'd she say?

[Jocko Madigan]

She denied knowing anything about to me.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Jocko, I'm sure she killed that guy up in my apartment.

[Jocko Madigan]

I'd stake my life on it.

Expertly put.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Patsy.

[Jocko Madigan]

I think Hellman believes her. After all, she's the only lead.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What about Max Coleman, the guy that rigged my bank account? Are they letting him die on the vine?

[Jocko Madigan]

I was getting some after that. Your friend Max Coleman has disappeared.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I thought he was being tailed.

[Jocko Madigan]

The kite got away. Here, use my aspirin.

Well, I took a boat out to

[Pat Novak (main character)]

the Monterey Rose, but that was a waste of time. Hellman had it covered like a tarpaulin. I still had the license number to Chris's car, but that didn't do any good. Even if I found him, all I could do was point my finger. There were still a lot of things that didn't fall into place. One of them was how come that

[Jocko Madigan]

Jack of Clubs was so easy to

[Pat Novak (main character)]

find in Connie's Apartment. She hadn't hid it very well, but after all, maybe that was a habit with her. Well, things didn't look any better. The next morning I went into a restaurant next to the Press Club for some breakfast. The Chronicle was lying on the counter. We were in second place because it was a torso murder all over page one. That second cup of coffee saved me because right after that I spotted it on one of the back pages. A picture and a small story about some unidentified guy who'd been killed over in Oakland, I think. Couldn't match the picture too well with Hellman. Snapshot of Max Coleman. But it looked like my best break so far. I got over to Oakland and I went straight to the morgue. The guy in the morgue was chatty.

[Narrator]

Which fella you want to see?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The unidentified guy must have come in last night.

[Narrator]

Sure. Down this way.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Okay.

[Narrator]

How do you like our morgue?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

One of my favorites.

[Narrator]

It's bigger than San Francisco.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, I figured that. Sure.

[Narrator]

Most people don't know that, but it's true. Bigger than San Francisco.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Here we are, right here.

[Narrator]

Help me slide it out.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure.

[Narrator]

Roller bearings. Makes it a lot easier.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

Here, let me get that sheet.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, well.

[Narrator]

Recognize him?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah. What time did he die?

[Narrator]

Corona's report here on the toe tag. About 11 o' clock last night. Two gunshots.38 caliber pistol.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's good.

[Narrator]

Don't look good to me. Was he a friend of yours? Relative or something?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, a relative. He's my maiden aunt. It was Max Coleman, all right. But that was only half the problem. I had some of the answers, but not enough. It's like trying to weave a rug with a spinning wheel and a bucket of sand. Well, anyway, I got to a payphone and I called Jocko. I told him to run down that license number. Then I headed back across the bridge. When I found Jocko, he said the car was registered in the name of Christopher Downs who lived up on Taylor Street. Well, that was enough of a lead, so I telephoned Hellman. Took about a half a minute to draw a map.

[Narrator]

Hello?

[Inspector Hellman]

Hellman talking.

[Jocko Madigan]

This is Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You still got Connie Riley down there?

[Inspector Hellman]

No, I saved matchboxes. Why?

[Jocko Madigan]

When did she leave last night?

[Inspector Hellman]

About 9:30.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That was smart, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

Why?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You better put a guard on her front door and get up to 720 Taylor St. The apartment of Christopher Downs. A late entry. Now climb out of that coma and get going. I'll meet you up there in 10 minutes.

[Inspector Hellman]

720 Taylor Street.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, it's up on the hill.

[Inspector Hellman]

That's good. Novak, I can roll you all the way down.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

When Jocko and I got up to Down's apartment, there was nobody home. I said a fast prayer for Connie, and I began going through down stuff for a.38 caliber revolver. Jocko was looking too, over in the liquor cabinet. That's as far as we got.

[Narrator]

Scavenger hunt, Mr. Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hello, Chris.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You haven't seen a.38 around.

[Narrator]

Just one that's in my pocket.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The same one that killed Max Coleman.

[Narrator]

You're gonna run out of breath, Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

Slow down.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I'm in second already. Mister, I can't stop.

[Narrator]

Then you won't mind a short ride out the door and down the back stairs.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Should we bring the lap robe?

[Narrator]

There's nothing to worry about. It's a short trip. You won't even have to worry the folks.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

We went down the back way and into the garage next door. We started for a big car in the corner.

[Narrator]

All right, get in. Out the airport road, Joan.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure.

[Narrator]

Now relax, Novak. From here you look like a duck in the pond. All right, Joe. Watch out, Joe. Joe, watch out.

[Inspector Hellman]

There's another car coming in.

[Jocko Madigan]

You're right, Chris. It was a short ride.

[Inspector Hellman]

You all right, Novak?

[Jocko Madigan]

Stop acting like the mother. Handheld, take this guy's gun.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right, mister.

[Narrator]

Get out.

[Inspector Hellman]

Who is he?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Christopher Downs. He killed Max Coleman last night.

[Inspector Hellman]

Does he convince you, mister?

[Narrator]

Not entirely.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, at.38, will the Oakland police have

[Pat Novak (main character)]

two slugs that fit that gun? You need more?

[Narrator]

No, I'm afraid you've got all the trumps, Novak.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right, let's go, you.

[Commercial Narrator]

Let's see.

[Narrator]

Earn it, copper.

[Inspector Hellman]

Stop him, Novak.

[Pat Novak]

He ain't going far.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, Hillman, now you can arrest him for jaywalking. Yeah, it's too bad. He could have told you a lot about that stiff in my closet. Well, go pick him up, Hellman. And don't forget that jack of clubs in his pocket. Well, it worked out all right. I left Hellman dropped by headquarters to leave a note. Mm. And I went home to my apartment. Connie was there. The whiskey was out again. She looks real good sitting there in a white crepe dress. It was one of those tight fitting babies that make a bathing suit look like a toga. I told her all about Chris and Max Coleman. And we forgot about everything but the Olympics. When she put her arms around you, it was a real squeeze. I felt like an old tube of shaving cream. I was pouring a drink when the doorbell rang. Hello, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

You ready, Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure. Well, don't stand there gaping. Arrest her for murder.

[Connie Riley]

Wait A minute. Slow down, Patsy.

[Jocko Madigan]

Sorry, chum.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It's you or me.

[Connie Riley]

Be a nice boy.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I am. That's why you go to Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

Come on, lady.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You dig up an answer for that guy that you left in my closet?

[Connie Riley]

I didn't leave any guy in your closet.

[Jocko Madigan]

You'll have to say it louder, baby. They found the story about the cord.

[Connie Riley]

That cord came out of your kitchen.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're a big mouth, Colonel.

[Connie Riley]

Yeah, you can put that in bold face. How did you know?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're the only one could have taken that Jack of Clubs here in the apartment. That and one other thing.

[Connie Riley]

Yeah?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That knot in the cord was a funny knot. You got an elastic garter there. It's too big, so you tied a knot in it. The same funny knot that choked Kirk Toomey.

[Connie Riley]

You're a funny guy, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

You're nice, but you're hard to handle. I should have killed you or married you. Ready, Hellman?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, Jack of Clubs was a phony right from the start. Somebody told Kirk Toomey to deal with me. When he came to my apartment, Connie was waiting. She got jumpy and killed him. I got there too soon, so she had to stall me off. When she got home, she found out that the Jack of Clubs was a phony. She left it in plain sight and Chris gobbled up the bait. When he discovered there was no microfilm, he went gunning for Max Coleman. Max was an innocent thief lying low, waiting to buy it from me. So all three of them were after a phony card. I began to suspect it was phony because everybody hung around. If it was the McCoy, Connie would have cleared out. Same for Chris. The microphone. Well, it was in Hellman's desk, but he didn't know it. Jocko finally tumbled. The report said that Kurt Toomey had false teeth. And when Hellman picked up his stuff on the ship, it was a tube of toothpaste. You don't clean false teeth with toothpaste. Word must have gotten around that the microfilm was inside that Jack of Clubs. So Kirk crossed him up and put it in a tube of toothpaste. Well, that's all, except they canceled my thousand dollar deposit. Hellman said it was lucky I noticed her garter.

[Pat Novak]

Lucky?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, she had to straighten her seams, didn't.

[Narrator]

The American Broadcasting Company has just brought you the second of a new series, Pat Novak for Hire, starring Jack Webb. Jocko Madigan is played by Tudor Owen. Inspector Hellman is played by Raymond Burr. Music was composed and conducted by radio and television Life Award winner Basil Adlam. In our cast were Betty Lou Gerson, Victor Perrin, Ted Decorcia and Herb Butterfield. Today we're happy to welcome a new member of the ABC family as station KARM in Fresno, California, joins our network. And now, this is George Feniman reminding you to be with us again next week when over most of these same ABC stations, we'll bring you Pat Novak or higher. This program came to you from Hollywood. This is abc, the American Broadcasting Company.

[Announcer]

Ladies and gentlemen, the American Broadcasting Company brings to its entire network one of radio's most unusual programs. Pat Novak for hire.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure, I'm pat novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my office says. Hat Novak for Hire. You got to put it in block letters. Because down on the waterfront in San Francisco there's a price tag on everything. You got to do that or marry a rich widow. I don't like to work that hard, so I rent boats and do anything else that's cash and carry. Oh, it's all right if you don't mind trouble. Because that's one thing you can't duck. It's like trying to dance the minuet in skis. And the best trouble always looks good from the outside. You're all smiles and feel like a kid opening a hand grenade under the Christmas tree. I found that out Tuesday night. It was around 7 o'. Clock. I was getting ready to close the office when this little guy showed up.

[Pat Novak]

He was about the size of a

[Pat Novak (main character)]

golf bag with arms. If he had a cigar box, he could see over a pool table. He walked up to the desk and started talking in a voice that made you think he was trying to put Lily Pons out of work.

[Jackie Greg]

Hello. You Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're doing all right so far. What's on your mind?

[Jackie Greg]

I'm Jackie Greg. You heard of me, huh?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're the shy type. I know.

[Jackie Greg]

I'm Jackie Greg, the jockey. You heard of me, huh?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, now.

[Announcer]

I heard of you.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Put the show on the road.

[Jackie Greg]

I'm looking for a horse. You want to find me a horse?

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I breed him in the back room. What color do you want?

[Joan Hayward]

Yes.

[Jackie Greg]

How tough I got to take that from you?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Calm down before you wind up in a boy's car. If you got anything to sell, put it on the line or beat it.

[Jackie Greg]

I'm riding a horse tomorrow called Fleet Lady. She's disappeared.

[Jocko Madigan]

She's not here.

[Jackie Greg]

I'm supposed to ride the sixth race with her tomorrow, the Bonanza Handicap. And she's gone.

[Pat Novak]

All right, she's gone.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Maybe Your horse likes to go out at night. I haven't seen her. Get to the point.

[Jackie Greg]

I'll give you 200 bucks to find that horse. Somebody took her in a van. I trailed her down here at the waterfront.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

But you lost him up at the Ferry Building.

[Jackie Greg]

That's right. Something funny's going on. My mouth disappeared and you gotta find her.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

This is a big waterfront.

[Pat Novak]

And where's the 200 bucks?

[Jackie Greg]

You'll get that all right. Down by Pier 19. The van turned in. Think you can find Fleet lady?

[Pat Novak]

I don't know.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Who owns her?

[Jackie Greg]

Woman named Sybil Thornton. She's mixed up, I think.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah? Why steal your own horse?

[Jackie Greg]

I don't know. Run a ringer, maybe.

[Pat Novak]

That's a tough trick.

[Jackie Greg]

This woman's got some good ones. You want the 200 bucks?

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How are the odds?

[Jackie Greg]

What's the difference? You gonna open a book? You better take the 200 bucks now.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, the dough will keep.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You sound frightened, Junior.

[Jackie Greg]

And you sound nosy. Here's a 200. I want you to find the horse. You let me know at the Kingston Hotel, huh?

[Jocko Madigan]

Sure.

[Jackie Greg]

And if you don't find anything around the waterfront, maybe you better try the track.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Ask around there. Yeah. By the way, how do you fit in? How come you got $200 interest in that horse?

[Jackie Greg]

Maybe I love horses. What do you care if maybe I love horses?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I don't. A guy like you's gotta love.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat Novak]

It was a sweet proposition.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

A jockey in search of a horse. There's something phony about the whole thing. I had the 200 bucks, but I didn't feel good. It was like a guy stealing a murder gun to help out on a scrap metal drive. Well, after the little guy left, I closed the office and started to hit the docks. But it didn't work out. You know, you can buy good whiskey these days. So you feel funny walking up to some guy in the pier and asking, have you seen a racehorse around here, mister?

[Jocko Madigan]

By nine, I was sure the horse

[Pat Novak (main character)]

wasn't around, so I borrowed a car and drove out to the track. I found out where Sybil Thornton's horses were quartered and headed down that way. It was pretty dark, so when I bumped into her, all I got was a vague outline. She had a good looking vague outline.

[Connie Riley]

Oh, I'm very sorry.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, I'm full of regrets, too. Should we try it again?

[Connie Riley]

But you're a little mixed up in your animals. They keep horses here.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You don't seem to mind.

[Connie Riley]

No. You lean nicely, but you'd probably feel safer With a platform.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

We try this again when I've had three good meals.

[Pat Novak]

That's a horse.

[Connie Riley]

Yes, I know. In fact, I own her.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I see. That'd make you civil, Thornton.

[Joan Hayward]

Yes.

[Connie Riley]

What would it make you?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

A guy named Pat Novak looking for your horse. I was hired in the waterfront to find her.

[Joan Hayward]

Why?

[Connie Riley]

They grow big on the waterfront. You must get a lot of sun. By the way, is Fleet Lady Missy

[Pat Novak]

Your jockey says she is.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's why I'm snooping around.

[Connie Riley]

Didn't know he had any friends.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

He's got a checkbook. How about Fleet Lady? Is she tucked in bed?

[Connie Riley]

Yes.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, let's take a look, huh?

[Connie Riley]

Find her Very dull, Mr. Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, that's what they said to Anthony. Let's see the horse.

[Connie Riley]

Suit yourself. She's down this way.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Okay.

[Connie Riley]

I'm doing this out of the bigness of my heart. I think you're wasting my generosity, Mr. Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Now, don't use it all this trip.

[Joan Hayward]

It's from the stable.

[Announcer]

Come on

[Connie Riley]

down about here, lady. Stall here. The flashlight on the wall.

[Pat Novak]

All right.

[Connie Riley]

Oh, poor thing.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Two horses die broke, too. Who is it? Fleet Lady.

[Joan Hayward]

Yes?

[Connie Riley]

Are you satisfied?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No. I'm gonna ring up headquarters.

[Connie Riley]

You crazy?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Then I'm gonna call Jackie Greg and

[Jocko Madigan]

tell him his hunch paid off.

[Connie Riley]

I wouldn't do that, Mr. Nova.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Stop kidding me, sweetheart. She didn't get killed in a fight with another horse. Greg figured somebody was telling the machine. That's why Fleet Lady's dead. That's why I'm gonna call headquarters.

[Connie Riley]

Suit yourself. But remember what happened to Fleet Lady.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You getting tough, angel?

[Connie Riley]

No. You just wouldn't look good with a saddle, Mr. Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

While I watched her as she turned and walked out of there. It was a kind of a walk that makes you flip the calendar and find out how far away so spring is. I looked around a while, but it didn't do any good. The place was full of doors. So whoever killed Fleet lady got out easy. Like a rumor at a church picnic.

[Pat Novak]

I closed the door and went down

[Pat Novak (main character)]

the line to call headquarters. So I stood in there talking. I saw Sybil Thornton drive away. There's a long convertible with red asbestos seat covers. After I called headquarters, I went back and waited near the stable. About a half hour later, a police car pulled up. And when I saw who got out, I began to get unhappy. Like a three legged man in a ballet school. It was Hellman from Homicide and he had a squad with him.

[Inspector Hellman]

Hello, Novak. Where's your trainer?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Your boys get paid to laugh at you, Hellman. I Don't.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

Where's the horse?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What are you doing on the case?

[Inspector Hellman]

I came for the ride. You mind, Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, I just wondered if they wised up downtown. Yeah, because you could find a dead horse, Hellman.

[Jocko Madigan]

If they staked it out in the

[Pat Novak (main character)]

middle of Market street, you'd find it before long.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'll try this time. Where is it?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Stall 18. Over there. Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

Keep an eye on him, boys.

[Narrator]

I'll be back in a minute.

[Inspector Hellman]

In here, Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah, the one with the teeth like yours.

[Narrator]

You better shut up, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Don't get jumpy.

[Jocko Madigan]

I.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You haven't seen the horse.

[Narrator]

Just shut up, huh?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It wasn't gonna be much of a conversation anyway.

[Inspector Hellman]

What color horse was that, Novak?

[Pat Novak]

What do you mean? Take a look at it.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah. Yeah, I did. I just took a look. A smart horse, Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

What?

[Inspector Hellman]

That's right. That dead horse in there is wearing a double breasted suit.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hellman got the message straight. I walked in and took a look. Jackie Greg was lying there on the

[Pat Novak]

floor as dead as last year's love.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The sickness didn't show until we rolled him over on his stomach. Somebody had gone duck hunting in the

[Jocko Madigan]

middle of his back.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I began to feel a little sick myself. And I was ready to send out for the same gun when Hellman started to talk.

[Inspector Hellman]

You forgot to mention the guy when you phoned headquarters.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

He wasn't there. I was in here before and the guy wasn't around.

[Inspector Hellman]

What was he doing under the horse?

[Jocko Madigan]

I don't know.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hellman maybe crawled out of a crack. I don't know. There were two shots. I came in and found the horse.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Check the horse.

[Inspector Hellman]

You're trying to tell me the horse shot back? Who is he?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

A guy by the name of Jackie Greg. He gave me 200 bucks to find a missing horse. Yeah, a horse called Fleet lady, running in tomorrow's handicap. This is the end of the line.

[Inspector Hellman]

How do you know it's the same one?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I don't. Maybe you gotta be a horse to tell. Why don't you ask one of your boys? Yeah, your boy's real tough. Call him off, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

He's nasty. We all hate him, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It's all right. I'll put it on your bill, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

That's good. You can write it up at headquarters.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hellman, you ought to run an idiot. The heavy thinking's too much for you.

[Inspector Hellman]

I can piece this together. We come out here and find a dead man with you kicking up dust 40ft away.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Look, Hellman, I didn't kill the guy in call up headquarters. I know they're bad in Homicide, but I'm not that big hearted.

[Inspector Hellman]

We got a spare hook for you, Novak. That's where you stay until somebody gets you off.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

And you can start out with Sybil Thornton.

[Inspector Hellman]

Another horse.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

She's got the speed for it. Look her up. She owns Fleet lady and she was dashing around in the dark here playing easy to get.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'll look her up.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You better leave the boys behind. After all, she's only a woman. When you see her, ask her about that van down on the waterfront and what she was doing before I made that phone call.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'll tag all the bases. Don't worry, Junior. And if things fit together, you'll both be in the jug. I'll see you later. I got work to do.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, it's getting late. You better put the boys back in the cave. I began to worry after Hellman left. There was no murder gun and he didn't have too much to go on. But there was no one else wanted my job. Oh, I knew the girl was gonna have an alibi. And I was the last guy that Jackie Gregg had seen. I had about as much chance as a fat girl at a Princeton prom. Hellman didn't like me and he was a smart cop with a disposition like a ton of rhubarb. Well, I had to start right from scratch. I felt like Adam the first morning he woke up. So I looked up a guy named Jocko Madigan. An ex doctor and a boozer who

[Pat Novak]

will give you a lift if you

[Pat Novak (main character)]

show him where the stirrups are. He's a good guy, but he thinks all food makes a gurgle. I hit all the bars and finally found him up at Maggie Nielsen's apartment. She's a good looking voice that lives up on the hill. And Jocko was working his way into her liquor supply.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hello, Patsy. You're just in time to join me for my first drink of the evening. Or one of my first at least. Yeah, I see Maggie's not here, but I found a whiskey. It was in plain sight, locked in the closet under some newspapers.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, Jocko, when are you gonna sober up?

[Jocko Madigan]

I plan to do it briefly on April 1, when the rest of the world plays fool also.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Look, I'm in trouble, Jocko. You gotta help me.

[Jackie Greg]

Good.

[Jocko Madigan]

I have a special bottle I use to forget your trouble.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Look, stop caressing that jug and listen to me. I'm in a jam, Patsy.

[Jocko Madigan]

There's nothing in nature so sad as a half empty bottle. It's like a broken Vow or an unfulfilled promise in the skies. A falling star. Almost. All right, Jocko. A falling star. And you shrug it off, never realizing that a whole world is ended at that moment. A hundred million dreams, maybe, and you watch it fall and make an asinine wish. That's all the good it does a star to fall. It gives some kid a chance to wish for a bicycle.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You all finished now, Jacko?

[Jocko Madigan]

Yes. What kind of trouble? Anything I could aggravate, I mixed up

[Pat Novak (main character)]

out at the track. A guy by the name of Jackie Greg is dead and I don't look good.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hellman?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah. The guy's a jockey, and he hired me to find a horse named Fleet Lady.

[Jocko Madigan]

Did you?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

The horse and the jockey ran a dead heat. But there's something funny about the whole deal.

[Jocko Madigan]

Did you talk to the jockey?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, not enough.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, Patsy, you've got to break yourself of the habit of waiting until people are dead before you think of a question.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Jocko, I want you to hit all the horse rooms. Find out what you can about the sixth race tomorrow. It's the Bonanza Handicap. Now hurry up, will you?

[Jocko Madigan]

If it's the sixth race, why can't we wait a while?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Start now. Get everything you can and call me. I'll leave a message at your place.

[Jocko Madigan]

Where are you going?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I don't know. Maybe up to see the girl.

[Jocko Madigan]

Patsy, you're going to be waving at the hangman's wife when they spring the trap door.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I gotta see her. She owns Fleet Lady.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, why don't I see her?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

She's got a stake somewhere, and I got a lot of questions. What could you do up there?

[Jocko Madigan]

Ah, yes. If it weren't an academic question, I'd argue the point.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It would look like a bum deal right from the start.

[Jocko Madigan]

Patsy, you have the instinct for recognizing trouble, but not the intelligence to duck it.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Save your breath, will you?

[Jocko Madigan]

You're like a man walking under a scaffold on a building. You realize it may crash down and kill you, but instead of hugging the building where you can't get hurt like every other dope, you scurry for the edge of the sidewalk where you're bound to get hit if it falls.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Jaco, will you get out to those horse parlors? I need facts, not fables. Now give me a hand. All right.

[Jocko Madigan]

Give my love to Fleet Lady.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Her name's Sybil Thornton.

[Jocko Madigan]

I'll bet I'm not far wrong. Good night, lover.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

After I left Jocko, I went to the Chronicle morgue and looked up the NBC program director. Paul Stangle. We pulled out the clips on Civil Thornton. They were nice and fat because she'd been to Reno four times and hadn't broke training for years. She'd been traded around more than a Red Sox pitcher. The clipping said she was 32. There were a lot of pictures from her eyes. You got the idea she was around 35. But there were arguments the other way, too. There weren't any stories on her for the last few months, just a few items from the columns. They all said the same thing. She was hitting the night spots with a gambler named Rudy Houser. There were pictures of him, too. He wouldn't look good in a cave with heavy curtains. I asked Paul. He said Hauser had a gambling place out on Geary. So I took a cab out there for 10 bucks. The guy at the door said Sybil Thornton had left the place an hour ago. That made me feel good. When Hauser opened the door to his office, I lost the glow.

[Narrator]

Yeah? What's with you?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I got a problem.

[Narrator]

You got the wrong door.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You can't get any tougher, so I'm coming in.

[Narrator]

Suit yourself. I never throw anybody out until I'm sure they've lost all their money. What's on your mind?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

A horse named Fleet lady. She disappeared at 7:00 tonight.

[Narrator]

You check under the rug. I'll try the cabin.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

She got back just in time to greet somebody's gunseller.

[Narrator]

If I say no, will you go out and lose your money like a good boy?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Fleet lady was owned by a gal named Sybil Thornton. The columns say you're number four, five on her list.

[Narrator]

They never lie. The whiskeys do.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Good also, a little bird says she was in your office an hour ago.

[Narrator]

That's right. She said your name's Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

Next time you got a bombshell, give it a test run.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

With Fleet lady dead, your money's going to look real good in the six tomorrow.

[Narrator]

Makes you think the gal would throw

[Pat Novak (main character)]

a race for the same reason she goes out with you, huh? When a gal takes a Great Dane like you out in public, it generally means the guy's a few bucks ahead of her.

[Narrator]

You want to fight the now, Novak? Just remember, sometimes you can't be right in a gentleman, too.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah? I hope that's the way you feel when they pick you up for Jackie Greg's murder, huh? Oh, you do a real nice double take, mister. The jockey checked out with a horse.

[Narrator]

I didn't know that, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah. With no brains, you built this gambling club.

[Narrator]

I didn't Know he was dead. If I told you that, Novak, I'd meant it. He's all right for little punk. I'm sorry he's dead.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

So is he. I'll see you later, Hauser. I gotta nose around and find out where you were tonight.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

You seem all right, Novak. So I'll tell you if you got any dough left. When you leave my table, it's bet it on a horse named Fleet lady in the sixth race tomorrow.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Do you always bet on a dead horse?

[Narrator]

You got the tip? Use it or bury it. But don't loan it out.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, the case was irregular.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

When I walked out of Hauser's office, I began to tick off the things

[Jocko Madigan]

that didn't add up.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

First on the list was that van down on the waterfront. If it was Fleet lady who got shot in the stable. If it was the ringer, that meant Fleet lady would run tomorrow. I couldn't figure out why Hauser was so sure she'd win. An idea kept racing around the back of my mind like an ant in a cookie factory. Jackie, Greg lied about that van down on the waterfront. But why not to bail me out of the poor house with 200 bucks? I got part of the answer when I stopped by the pay telephone and called Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah, Hellman talking.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

This Novak. I got some news.

[Inspector Hellman]

I have to put it on the back page.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What do you got?

[Inspector Hellman]

Your friend Jackie Grade had some love life.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, there's a chance for you, Hellman. Who's the girl? Sybil Thornton.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah, we found a picture in his wallet. The gooey kind.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I bet you stole it for long train rides. What time did he die?

[Inspector Hellman]

The right fit for you? Between nine and ten o'.

[Joan Hayward]

Clock.

[Inspector Hellman]

Two shots from a.32 caliber pistol.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How about the horse?45 caliber.

[Pat Novak]

Two people.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It's getting involved.

[Inspector Hellman]

Maybe, maybe not. You got two hands, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Look up a guy named Rudy Hauser. He's got a joint out on Geary Street.

[Inspector Hellman]

I got enough friends. You look him up.

[Jocko Madigan]

I did.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

He's still talking about Fleet lady and tomorrow's race.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right, maybe he's sentimental. Look, Novak, I'll pick out my own work. I don't need free help from you, Jackie. Greg paid 200 bucks and look what he got.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Suit yourself. But Rudy Hauser and that gal are close friends. Like two part harmony in a telephone booth. Get off the dime. Helm and Howser's got that gal in his hip pocket. She owns Fleet lady and he's betting her to win.

[Inspector Hellman]

You're trying hard, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It's got to Be a slow field to lose to a dead horse. Wake up, Hellman. You couldn't smell a rat in a basement full of cheese.

[Inspector Hellman]

I did all right in your apartment, huh? That.32 caliber pistol. We found it in your place. See you later.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, I wasn't too worried about that. Hellman's smart enough to know a phony plant. I began to think about that.32 caliber pistol. It's a woman's weapon. Well, that doesn't prove anything. So's a bread knife if she's in a bad mood. Must have been about midnight when I got to Sybil Thornton's place. She was wearing black lounging pajamas. Tied tight around a slim waist. She looked like a wasp with a nice sting.

[Connie Riley]

And she had company come in. Mr. Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

Mr. Novak, this is Ronnie Stark.

[Inspector Hellman]

Hello, Novak.

[Narrator]

He's not very friendly, Sybil.

[Connie Riley]

He's just parting because they're going to arrest him for Jackie's murder.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How do you like Hellman?

[Connie Riley]

You've known him longer.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah. Somebody left the murder gun up at my place. Where you've been all night?

[Connie Riley]

Please, Mr. Novak. You're embarrassing Ronnie.

[Inspector Hellman]

That's right.

[Narrator]

I'm blushing.

[Inspector Hellman]

And it's not the whiskey, Novak.

[Connie Riley]

I see you must stay longer, Ronnie.

[Narrator]

She's persuasive, huh, Novak?

[Announcer]

See you tomorrow.

[Connie Riley]

You won't forget, Ronnie?

[Inspector Hellman]

Oh, I won't forget. I'm betting on you, Novak.

[Connie Riley]

What won't he forget, Mr. Novak? I hope nobody ever asks you that question.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You don't want to talk about putting that gun in my apartment. No. Let's talk about Rudy Hauser, then. Your meat grinder friend.

[Jocko Madigan]

We just had a good talk, and

[Pat Novak (main character)]

he opened up a new road.

[Connie Riley]

What'd you tell him?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Don't break a spring. He's all right.

[Connie Riley]

Will you do me a favor, Patsy?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Like not talking to Hauser anymore?

[Connie Riley]

That's right. Won't do you any good, Patsy.

[Joan Hayward]

It'll do me a lot of good.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How's he gonna know which horse got killed? I bet you lied to him. Angel.

[Connie Riley]

It's my apple cart. Patsy, leave it alone.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sure, but play your hand right, baby, because I'm gonna watch your cards. And if you got one that says Jackie, Greg, I'm gonna call you the hard way.

[Connie Riley]

Patsy, you nice beast. I really think you would sit down.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

A drink?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No.

[Joan Hayward]

Do you good.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Not right now.

[Connie Riley]

Well, you've read the book.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Just a couple of chapters.

[Connie Riley]

I bet they're the right ones.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You better watch out, baby. I may be a long shot.

[Connie Riley]

Well, you care? As long as I bet I don't. That's good. I didn't think you'd mind.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Aren't you beginning to crowd the beachhead?

[Connie Riley]

Don't be a sissy, Patsy. You can't live forever.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, Angel. It's time to wire the folks.

[Connie Riley]

Mr. Novak. Just wait until you know me better.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's for me. I left the number.

[Connie Riley]

It's your fault, then.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hello, Patsy.

[Pat Novak]

What'd you find out, Jocko?

[Jocko Madigan]

Not much. Nobody seems to care about the sixth race.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I care about it.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's because you killed one of the jockeys. The rest of the people have a more casual interest.

[Pat Novak]

How do the odds run?

[Jocko Madigan]

No heavy favorites. Vin Air and Sleepy Time Gal figure to be the best at around 5 to 1.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What about fleet Lady?

[Jocko Madigan]

Down the line somewhere. I talked to one fellow. He says she's a dog and couldn't beat a paralytic goose over a hundred yards.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, what else?

[Jocko Madigan]

That's all.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What do you mean, that's all? Start digging, Jocko. We're not getting any place.

[Jocko Madigan]

Not even at your end, huh? I counted on you to do better than that. Good night, lovers.

On the way home, I bought the morning papers.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

There was no story on Jackie Greg, no details. And most of the story was a statement by Hellman on Hellman. There was no mention of Fleet Lady. And at one o' clock in the morning, there was nothing I could do but roll into bed. I woke up about nine, called Jocko. It was like sending a message out to the Farallones by Indian Runner. He just muttered and said he'd meet me out at the track. Well, I had to have some more dope, so I called Ira Snow. He calls the races and bets on him. The way he does it, a horse is a real beast of burden. He was playing elf when I got him on the wire. Yeah?

[Pat Novak]

Ira, this is Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

What do you know about the Bonanza Handicap?

[Announcer]

It's a horse race.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're funny. What about the field?

[Announcer]

Are the horses any good for hamburgers, Maybe nothing else.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How about Fleet Lady?

[Announcer]

Eastern track?

[Pat Novak]

Nobody knows.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Would she be worth a heavy plunge?

[Announcer]

If you want to be a monk. What's this all about, Ira?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I'm in trouble. How about a fix? Could they run a ringer in on Fleet Lady?

[Announcer]

It's been done before, but it ain't easy.

[Pat Novak]

That's what I figured.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

How's Rudy Howser on horses?

[Announcer]

He ain't. He got burned a long time ago.

[Jocko Madigan]

He never bets.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, I think you're wrong.

[Announcer]

Look, Novak, I know every guy in town that's Got the itch. Rudy Hauser?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No. You know a guy named Ronnie Stark?

[Jocko Madigan]

Sure.

[Announcer]

Runs a book. Why?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Nothing. May see you at the track. I'm gonna make a bet.

[Announcer]

Yeah, I'll tell the horses.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, that left me in a hole.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

If Ira was right, Rudy Hauser on Fleet lady didn't make a bit of sense. I got up to the track about 2:30. Jocko was there. Hellman was wandering around up in the grandstand where they couldn't push him into a starting gate. Sybil Thornton waved from her box as I walked by to get a better shot at the starting line for the sixth.

[Pat Novak]

They were almost at the post when

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Jocko came back from the bedding window.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, Patsy, I bet $2 on a horse called Scotch Victory. It seemed like a good omen. Yeah, I saw your friend Rudy Hauser at the window. He was pouring money down on the favorites to win.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, that's why the odds are going down on Vin Air and Sleepy Time Gal.

[Jocko Madigan]

Look at that board, will you?

Yeah, Fleet Lady's gone all the way up to 12 to 1.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah, from 8 to 1 all the way up.

[Jocko Madigan]

Maybe the word got around. She's dead.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

No, that's the funny part. She's down there. See number three on the rail. Not a peep out of anybody.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hot Weather is going to the front by one length. Sweet V Town Gal by a head. Fleet lady between horses, is running third by one length. On the outside, it's Vinair, An Old Soldier. Going into the clubhouse turn, it's Hot Weather by two lengths. Sleepy Time Gal by a half length. Fleet lady is moving up on the outside. It's Thin Air, fourth by one length, An Old Soldier. Down the back stretch, it's Hot Weather by two lengths. Fleet lady moving up on the outside, is now second by one length.

She runs well for a ghost.

[Announcer]

Rudy, how's it?

[Jocko Madigan]

Better hurry up or he won't see much.

[Narrator]

We better hurry.

[Jocko Madigan]

He left the track 10 minutes ago.

[Pat Novak]

Are you sure, Jocko?

[Jocko Madigan]

Yes. I heard him tell someone he had to make a phone call just before the bedding closed.

Well, Jocko, you're a sweetheart.

I like to think.

[Pat Novak]

Come on, let's go to that stable.

[Jocko Madigan]

The race isn't over.

It was over five minutes ago.

How about my $2?

Come on, will you?

[Pat Novak]

There's only one person we'll try to fix.

[Jocko Madigan]

A horse race.

[Pat Novak]

That's a horse.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, I knew there was going to be trouble fast. The horses were just coming under the wire when I waved to Hellman and started for the stable.

[Jocko Madigan]

When we Got there.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sybil Thornton was clearing out like a fire sale.

[Joan Hayward]

I'm in a hurry, Patsy, darling, let me buy now.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You made a bad play, Angel.

[Jocko Madigan]

Stick around.

[Inspector Hellman]

You heard him, ladies. Stick around.

[Narrator]

Thanks, copper. I'll take charge.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

That's a big gun, Howser.

[Narrator]

I got a big beef. You let me drop a hundred grand, Cebu.

[Connie Riley]

It's your idea, Rudy.

[Narrator]

Not this way. He let me drop a hundred grand because you ran Fleet Lady.

[Connie Riley]

Program said Fleet lady, and that's who ran.

[Narrator]

I brought those odds into line at the window. My other Eddie looked bad on Fleet Lady. You didn't stay to watch her trail the field.

[Connie Riley]

All right, I didn't stay. You lost your hundred grand. You killed the ringer. You were a smart big shot who was gonna sew up the race.

[Narrator]

You ran Fleet lady and cost me a hundred grand. All right, cop. I'll move away from it. Over this way, Sybil.

[Connie Riley]

Oh, don't let him do it, Patsy.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I want to see how tough you are.

[Narrator]

Come on, civil. Let's Shoe and me move against the stall.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Watch out.

[Inspector Hellman]

How's it you're backing into the horse. Grab the horse. Novak is going to trample him.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You grab him. It's your idea.

[Connie Riley]

See, Dan?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah. You should have learned the first time you can't beat the horses.

[Inspector Hellman]

That's a bump joke, Novak.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I guess it is.

[Inspector Hellman]

Now that we're all here, who do we book for Jackie Gregg's murder?

[Narrator]

I'll answer that, friend.

[Inspector Hellman]

Who's this guy?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It's one you missed, Hellman.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hello, Stark.

[Inspector Hellman]

I know vague.

[Narrator]

Well, what are you waiting for, Sybil? Tell the man you killed Jackie.

[Jocko Madigan]

Greg.

[Connie Riley]

Had enough trouble today, Ronnie.

[Inspector Hellman]

You got more coming. You figured it out yet, Novak?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hauser dumped his 80 grand on you.

[Narrator]

That's right. It's a lot of spending money.

[Connie Riley]

Wait a minute, Ronnie. I don't like this.

[Narrator]

You get your half, baby.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'm gonna write out an iou.

[Narrator]

When they book you for murder and the vote's in, you can't use it.

[Connie Riley]

You wouldn't do a thing like that, Ronnie.

[Inspector Hellman]

A dead girl can't spend 40 grand. She killed your guy, copper, and tried to palm it off on Novak. I was there, so I'll testify.

[Connie Riley]

Ronnie, you're a no good guy.

[Narrator]

Don't be silly. I love justice.

[Inspector Hellman]

A booker for murder, Copper. I want to tear up that.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, Hellman finally worked it out.

[Pat Novak]

Started out as a fixed race.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

And when they were all through, it was up to the horse. Rudy Hauser put the squeeze on Sybil for some dough. She offered to Run a fast ringer and place a Fleet lady so Hauser could pick up a bag full of Rudy. Just wanted to make sure. So he sent one of his boys around to knock off Fleet Lady. Only the guy killed the ringer instead. Well, that was a break for Sybil. She made a deal with a bookie named Ronnie Stark to take all of Hauser's bets and guarantee him that Fleet lady couldn't win because she wasn't that good a horse. It panned out that way. She let Hauser think Fleet lady was dead. He spent the 20 grand at the window pushing up the odds on Fleet lady and dumped another 80 on her to win the moving van. Now, that was a phony story Greg used to get me to scare Sybil. He wanted in on the deal. He went back to the stable that night, got in a beef, and she killed him. She had him out in her car when I went to make that phone call.

[Jocko Madigan]

She figured it was a good way

[Pat Novak (main character)]

to pass the buck. Well, Hellman asked only one question. Why would a nice, tame horse go crazy and trample a guy to death? Jocko had the answer. The horse that killed Hauser was a filly.

[Announcer]

The American Broadcasting Company has just brought you the fourth of a new series, Pat Novak for Hire, starring Jack Webb. Pat Novak is produced and directed by William P. Rousseau. Jocko Madigan is played by Tudor Owen. Inspector Hellman is played by Raymond Burr. Music was composed and conducted by Basil Adlam. In our cast were Virginia Gregg, Tom Avery, Stacy Harris, Hugh Thomas and Carlisle Bibbers. This program is being released to our servicemen and women overseas through the worldwide facilities of the Armed Forces Radio Service. Be with us again next week when over most of these same ABC stations, we will bring you Pat Novak for Hire. This program came to you from Hollywood. Now, a listening reminder tonight, don't miss Jane Wyman when she guest stars and explains how she created her unforgettable role as the deaf mute in Johnny Belinda. Here, Jane Wyman tonight on this ABC station. This is abc, the National Broadcasting Company.

[Pat Novak]

Pat novak, hire. Sure, I'm pat novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my office says. Pat Novak for Hire. Down on the waterfront in San Francisco. You don't get prizes for being subtle. You want to make a living down here, you gotta get your hand in the till any way you can. You rob Peter to pay Paul and then you put it on the cup. Oh, I rent boats and tell a few white lies if the price is right It's a happy life if you don't mind looking up at a headstone because sooner or later you draw trouble a size too big. I found that out Tuesday night. It was raining and the street was as deserted as a warm bottle of beer. Must have been about 11 o' clock when I came out of the office and started down the waterfront. As I got near the corner, I stopped. An old man stepped out of the darkness and started across the street.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

It was a short trip because a

[Pat Novak]

car started up down the street and the old man couldn't have made it with a pocket full of aces. I started over to him. The car slowed down and then turned the corner and disappeared. As it passed under the street light, I caught a glimpse of the license plate in a dull, surprised way, the way you'd grab a feather out of an angel's wing.

[Jocko Madigan]

I bent over the old man and

[Pat Novak (main character)]

rolled him on his back.

[Pat Novak]

He didn't seem to be in pain. He was just an old man with a frightened look of a small boy in a storm who was breathing hard as I cushioned his head.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Please help me.

[Pat Novak]

Can you please help me? That's a big order, mister.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, I must talk to you.

[Pat Novak]

Well, if you've got any good quartz, you better get them off your chest fast.

[Jocko Madigan]

In my pocket. Inside my pocket. You please put your hand. Yeah.

In here?

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, sure. Two envelopes. What about them?

[Jocko Madigan]

One is money for you. You have the other one?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

So far.

[Jocko Madigan]

The other one.

[Narrator]

Finish, keep sealed and you will give

[Jocko Madigan]

it to John St. John.

[Pat Novak]

John St. John?

[Connie Riley]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak]

Where does he live?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Oh, you don't understand.

[Jocko Madigan]

It's not.

[Narrator]

I. I want to tell you.

[Connie Riley]

You don't understand.

[Pat Novak]

He was right on that one. I didn't understand a thing except he slipped out of my arms and stopped paying taxes. I dragged him over the side and I went through his stuff. There was nothing there. No identification. Just a card with an address out on Haight Street. I opened the envelope and $300 tumbled into my breast pocket. The other one was sealed. There was no name on it, but up in the corner there was some kind of marking. It looked like two crosses spliced together. There wasn't anything I could do for him except. And I owe some back dues. So I went back to my office and called police headquarters. I told him where the old man was and then I checked in the phone book. There was no John St. John listed. Well, it wasn't going to be easy to find him. And I only had two leads. That license number and the address on Haight Street. So I looked up the only Honest guy I know an ex doctor and a boozer by the name of Jocko Madigan. A good guy, but to him, a hangover is the price of being sober. I finally found him singing in a Mason street bar. Jocko, I want to talk to you.

[Jocko Madigan]

Ah, Patsy, you're just in time for the counterpoint. I'm singing a song. A little sentimental thing from my childhood.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, well, it'll keep. I got a problem.

[Jocko Madigan]

You'll always have a problem. Patience. Because you can't keep out of trouble. You know that, don't you? You have no self control.

[Pat Novak]

All right, Jocko.

[Jocko Madigan]

You have no more self control than a bucket of mercury dumped on a marble staircase.

[Pat Novak]

All right, now, shall we check the bright talk? I just saw a guy get killed.

[Jackie Greg]

Oh, you.

[Jocko Madigan]

You are like some violent disorder in nature. Some large but unprofitable storm. You keep whirling in circles, Patsy. If you ever go more than 10ft in one direction, it's because some woman is 9ft away. Then it begins all over again.

[Pat Novak]

Are you all through?

[Joan Hayward]

Yes.

[Jocko Madigan]

Get to the point. That's another of your troubles. You never get to the point.

[Pat Novak]

I just saw a guy killed 10 minutes ago.

[Jocko Madigan]

How would that interest me? Are you selling an eyewitness account?

[Pat Novak]

Some old guy got killed down on the Embarcadero. He checked out 15ft away from me.

[Jocko Madigan]

Who killed him?

[Pat Novak]

I don't know.

[Jocko Madigan]

Why do you care? Professional jealousy.

[Pat Novak]

Some car came out of nowhere and clipped him.

[Jocko Madigan]

You sure it wasn't an accident?

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, just like the Berlin blockade. Will you stop kneeling me? Jocko, I told you a guy got killed. He was murdered right in front of me. I gotta find a guy called John St. John.

[Jocko Madigan]

How St. John.

[Pat Novak]

John St. John. I don't feel like vaudeville tonight, Jocko. The old man gave me $300 to deliver a letter and I made him a promise.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, you can break it now with only the slightest risk.

[Pat Novak]

I got the license number of the car. Now, I want you to hop down and look it up. And then check at headquarters to see if the guy's got a record, will you?

[Jocko Madigan]

I don't like policemen. They depress me.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Check it.

[Pat Novak]

I gotta go out to Haight Street. What kind of neighborhood is it out there?

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, it's not exactly a neighborhood. It's. It's more like an architectural afterthought. A lingering defense against the early California bear.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

All right, all right.

[Pat Novak]

No speeches. Just check on that license plate, huh? Now, if I'm not at my place, try this address.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yes, that's always very interesting at this Time of night. Good night, lover.

[Pat Novak]

Jocko was right about the neighborhood when I left him. I doubled by my place and left the envelope. I put it inside another envelope and stashed it behind some books. And then I headed out to looked up John St. John. Oh, it must have been about midnight when I got there. And it was the kind of a neighborhood where a For rent sign reads like a ransom note. I found the place, though. It was an old rooming house, a third floor apartment. I knocked at the door and when she opened it, I knew it was time to wire home for money. A tall blonde blister with lots of Fahrenheit. She stood there leaning against the door, smiling and looking at you as if you had gold plated muscles. It gave you a weak feeling where your dinner ought to be. And her voice came right out of the oven.

[Connie Riley]

Well, you're out kind of late.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak]

I'm looking for a guy named John St. John.

[Connie Riley]

Oh, won't you come into my cobweb?

[Pat Novak]

Sure. For a spider, you're nice and chubby.

[Connie Riley]

A spider man. My name's Lee Norton. You want to write it down?

[Pat Novak]

I'm Patton Novak. I'm looking for a guy named John St. John.

[Connie Riley]

You seem to be running a temperature on the subject. Sit down.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, the couch will do.

[Connie Riley]

I'll bet you carry rainy nights in your pocket.

[Pat Novak]

All right, now let's get out of the woods, angel. I'm looking for a guy.

[Connie Riley]

I know you're wearing out the. I don't know a John St. John.

[Pat Novak]

A dead man was carrying around your address.

[Connie Riley]

He was? That seems rather feudal.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, an old guy about 60. He got killed crossing the street.

[Connie Riley]

He should have had a boy scarf in. I don't know anything about it. Mr. Novak. Despite occasional temptations, I don't collect 60 year old men.

[Pat Novak]

Well, he was looking around your address.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Why?

[Connie Riley]

I don't know. Maybe he admired me from afar, like a sunset or something.

[Pat Novak]

No, he stopped admiring sunsets about 20 years ago.

[Connie Riley]

I see. What are you, the avenging angel?

[Pat Novak]

He gave me a sealed envelope.

[Connie Riley]

And you were supposed to give it to a man named John St. John.

[Pat Novak]

That's right. He gave me 300 bucks to ease the pain.

[Connie Riley]

I forget that. You don't look like the charitable type.

[Pat Novak]

He was a nice old guy. So I'm gonna find his boy.

[Connie Riley]

Maybe I could help you.

[Pat Novak]

You got a clear fast track. Let's see you go.

[Connie Riley]

Well, I told you I don't know John St. John, but I'll do this much.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, I know you're Gonna be big hearted and offer to take that letter just in case you ever meet someone named John St. John.

[Connie Riley]

You brought along your crystal ball.

[Pat Novak]

Your hand shaking, baby?

[Connie Riley]

Maybe it's the wing. You better hold it.

[Pat Novak]

You need a handrail, friend.

[Jackie Greg]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

What are your plans?

[Pat Novak]

I'm open minded about it.

[Connie Riley]

You're a nice spider man.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah. The wind's getting a little worse, isn't it?

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

Wish you'd act a little more surprised, though.

[Pat Novak]

I'm not. When I walked in, I could see you had both arms broken. Did you pay the rent this month?

[Connie Riley]

Keep the kettle on. I'll only be a moment.

[Inspector Hellman]

Hello, Lee. If we're early, just give us a magazine.

[Connie Riley]

No. Come on in. Just enough for some bread.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're right.

[Pat Novak]

You're only gone for a moment. Who are your friends?

[Connie Riley]

When I don't sulk.

[Pat Novak]

Did they lock the manhole before they left home?

[Connie Riley]

His name's Novak.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah, that's a pretty name. It don't rhyme with anything, but it's pretty. A Joe.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, it's all right.

[Inspector Hellman]

Let's have the letter, Novak.

[Pat Novak]

You got hold of a bad rumor fella.

[Inspector Hellman]

The one I got's good. Let's have it.

[Pat Novak]

I don't want to strain your mind, junior, but try to understand.

[Jocko Madigan]

I don't have a letter.

[Connie Riley]

Ask him again.

[Pat Novak]

Go on home, mister. You're not gonna get anything out of me except a small tip. Now, if you're a good boy, I'll give you a nickel for your friend, too.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right, Joe, hold him up.

[Narrator]

Yeah, just too many.

[Inspector Hellman]

He's got a head of hair.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hold him up. Come on.

[Connie Riley]

All right, Mike, that's enough. That's enough.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right, baby. Don't look so sorry you can't have everything.

[Pat Novak]

It's easy to sleep if you got the right friends. When those two gonoffs were through, I hit the floor and made repair. Van Winkle looked like an insomnia victim. I didn't like the floor, but it was in better shape than my face. I don't know how long I was there, but it must have been a couple of hours. I rolled over once and tried to get up, but it was like trying to barbecue a cake of ice. There was a sick, sweet smell in the room. I tried to place it, but my nose was out on strike, so I went to sleep again. The next thing I knew, it sounded like New Year's Eve. Here you go.

[Jocko Madigan]

Pepsi up on the couch.

[Pat Novak]

What's the matter?

[Jocko Madigan]

Nothing. If you're a kitchen stove. The room is full of gas. Oh, open the Window if you're going to turn on the gas.

[Pat Novak]

Some of my playmates, I guess.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, you. You weren't at the apartment, so I tried here.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah? What time is it?

[Jocko Madigan]

2 o'. Clock. Who got the quaint idea of the gas chamber?

[Pat Novak]

A girlfriend. It was love at first sight.

[Jocko Madigan]

I see. Let's go home to bed.

[Pat Novak]

I'm getting used to floors. That old man started a ball game. Jocko. When I mentioned John St. John to this girl, she turned banker and brought in the gunsels.

[Jocko Madigan]

Did she get the letter?

[Pat Novak]

I left it at home.

[Jocko Madigan]

You're getting smart.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak]

300 worth. They lifted my dough.

[Jocko Madigan]

You couldn't have used it where you were going.

Yeah.

I've checked on that hit and run car. It's listed under the name of Sidney Bronson.

[Pat Novak]

Has he got a record? No. Everybody's a beginner. Let's go home.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, it'll be dull, but you'll get used to it. Wait till I wash my hands.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Jocko Madigan]

Patchy.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah?

[Jocko Madigan]

What did your girlfriend look like? Was she the lively type?

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

Why?

[Pat Novak]

What's the matter?

[Jocko Madigan]

Because she's not anymore.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah? Those gunsels play rough.

[Jocko Madigan]

She's kind of pretty. What did she do besides sending out vibrations?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I don't know.

[Pat Novak]

But she knew all about John St. John. She picked up the bait like a hungry bass. Also, look at that ring.

[Jocko Madigan]

How'd you get around to that?

[Pat Novak]

The insignia on it. It's the same one that's on that envelope. Spliced crosses.

[Jocko Madigan]

Let's go home, Patsy. The police will be here.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah. Even Hellman will know she's dead. Come on, we better go.

[Jocko Madigan]

On your way.

[Pat Novak]

Out the door, Jocko. Try it sideways because I think it's blocked.

[Inspector Hellman]

Hello, Novak. You look pale.

[Pat Novak]

It's my color scheme. What do you care, Hellman?

[Inspector Hellman]

None. She looks peaceful.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak]

Be quiet or you'll wake her up.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'll tiptoe. You always cut her throat before she goes to sleep. Who is she, Novak?

[Pat Novak]

I don't know.

[Inspector Hellman]

It's awful cozy here for a bunch of perfect strangers.

[Pat Novak]

I don't know every dead girl in town, Hellman. You'll have to check.

[Inspector Hellman]

You can still write, can't you, Novak?

[Joan Hayward]

Hm?

[Inspector Hellman]

That's all you'll need down at headquarters. Come on.

[Pat Novak]

Oh, get out of the haze, Hellman. You don't know who's dead yet, but you're gonna book somebody. Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

What are you doing up here, appraising the joint?

[Pat Novak]

I came up to find a guy named John St. John.

[Inspector Hellman]

She doesn't look like a guy named John. St. John, she was my lead.

[Pat Novak]

I came up here to smell out a rat. She had a half nelson on me when two gunsels walked in.

[Jocko Madigan]

They came up to fix the gas meter, I think.

[Inspector Hellman]

You stay out of this.

[Jocko Madigan]

I'll make every effort.

[Pat Novak]

Now, if you're smart, you'll fingerprint this place. Hellman, these boys were cute. They've been in somebody's jail.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'll handle my job.

[Pat Novak]

You stick to murder, you go a long way to pin this on me, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

I can go a long way, Nov.

[Pat Novak]

Not with what you got to drag.

[Inspector Hellman]

We get a call in the middle of the night, come up here and find you standing over a dead girl.

[Pat Novak]

That's right.

[Inspector Hellman]

And you want me to sprinkle powder all over? Back up and take a better look, Novak.

[Pat Novak]

Oh, the view's fine, Hellman. And if you'll take a good look, you'll know why. You haven't got anything to give the DA Except a slim lead and a fat hand.

[Jocko Madigan]

You're gonna need help.

[Inspector Hellman]

Not on this one.

[Pat Novak]

You need help to find the street. Come on back to center, Hellman. Even with both hands, you couldn't. Yeah, forget it.

[Inspector Hellman]

So take the medicine like a good boy. I'm not gonna walk out and let the two of you tour the town. I'm gonna book one or both of you on a murder charge.

[Pat Novak]

All right, book Jocko here, then.

[Jocko Madigan]

I love you in a generous mood.

[Pat Novak]

You got a string then, Hellman? Somebody's gotta find John St. John.

[Jocko Madigan]

Who's going to find Jocko?

[Pat Novak]

Stop worrying.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I'll bail you out.

[Inspector Hellman]

You haven't got the right size heart, Novak. You'll let him die on the vine.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hellman, sometimes you're guilty of unexpected wisdom. I know it's reflex action, but it's consoling anyway.

[Inspector Hellman]

I want you, Novak. I want your bad. I'll take this guy as a down payment. But I'm going to close out with you. Remember that.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I will.

[Inspector Hellman]

All right. Come on, mister.

[Jocko Madigan]

Wait a minute, Patsy. You're not gonna let him lug me off like this.

[Pat Novak]

What else can I do? The guy likes you. It was a bum curve to throw, Jocko. But somebody had to dig us out of a hole. Jocko wasn't the boy. You can't shovel dirt with a bar rag. I had no idea where to start. There were two murders. They were both tied up with this John St. John. He didn't look like a good guy to know. Then there was that insignia, too. The one on the letter and the one on the girl's ring. Sure, it could be a coincidence, but that's what they said about Bluebeard. The only thing I could do was open that letter. So I went back to the apartment. I didn't have to turn on the light. They were running in pairs tonight. She was sitting there on the couch, proud of a pair of long silk legs and smiling like a guy who knows he's got a million bucks in the bank. She was blonde, too. A little more lemon juice, maybe, but blonde. Anyway, she was nice and comfortable. And I got the idea she'd just signed a lease.

[Joan Hayward]

Good evening.

[Connie Riley]

How do you do?

[Pat Novak]

Not very well so far.

[Joan Hayward]

A sly remark, Mr. Novak.

[Pat Novak]

No, I'm just bringing you up to date. Your girlfriend's dead.

[Joan Hayward]

Yes.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, the gas jets out in the kitchen.

[Joan Hayward]

It is. I think that's supposed to be mysterious.

[Pat Novak]

You clear it up, then. Find a name for yourself and a reason why you picked out my furniture.

[Connie Riley]

Oh.

[Joan Hayward]

Do you mind my being here?

[Pat Novak]

I just want to know your name before I throw you out in the hall.

[Joan Hayward]

Mr. Novak, I'll bet you're awfully slow when it comes to throwing somebody out in the hall.

[Pat Novak]

Not if they can bounce as well as I figure you can.

[Joan Hayward]

When you do throw me out, throw the letter out too.

[Pat Novak]

All right, now, I've already had a dress rehearsal. The answer is no.

[Joan Hayward]

At least I know where you stand. By the way, why are you standing? Please sit down.

[Pat Novak]

Who's John St John?

[Joan Hayward]

Don't be redundant, Mr. Nelson.

[Pat Novak]

Who is he? If you want that letter, you know him.

[Joan Hayward]

Don't shout. I'd like you better if you purr.

[Pat Novak]

I don't need your vote. Who's John St. John?

[Joan Hayward]

I don't know him.

[Pat Novak]

You want that letter because you collect stamps.

[Joan Hayward]

I want it, and you'll have to take my word. I don't know John St. John. Is he worth breaking your heart over?

[Pat Novak]

Look, there's a good guy down in the clink sweating on a murder app for me. So I want John St. John.

[Joan Hayward]

You've got nice friends.

[Pat Novak]

Who's Sidney Bronson?

[Joan Hayward]

How does that fit into the picture?

[Pat Novak]

This started with a waterfront corpse. The leftovers belong to an old guy that was hit by a car. The car is registered in the name of Sidney Bronson.

[Joan Hayward]

Mr. Novak, you seem so intense. It's a pity to waste it on random speculation.

[Pat Novak]

Now, look, I told you, lady, I got a friend in the jug.

[Joan Hayward]

Loyalty's a nice trait. One of your nice.

[Connie Riley]

Yeah, you're a pretty thing, Patsy.

[Pat Novak]

Let's don't get fooled by the rapper.

[Joan Hayward]

I'll Take a chance.

[Pat Novak]

Anybody ever brief you on trouble?

[Joan Hayward]

You're hard to see that far away. Come on over into focus, Betsy.

[Connie Riley]

Yeah, you're pretty, Betsy.

[Pat Novak]

You look like you want a bill of sale.

[Connie Riley]

I'm a gentle card, Novak.

[Joan Hayward]

I just like to break your ribs.

[Pat Novak]

Go ahead. I can get a brace.

[Connie Riley]

Come here.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah? What's on your mind?

[Joan Hayward]

What you're gonna say when you find out about this gun, huh? That's right, sweetheart. My finger isn't hollow. Back up and take a look at

[Pat Novak]

the gun you got to that purse, huh?

[Joan Hayward]

That's right.

[Pat Novak]

You've ruined my confidence.

[Joan Hayward]

I'll give you a testimonial. In the meantime, I want the letter.

[Pat Novak]

You go after everything the same way

[Joan Hayward]

I want the letter.

[Pat Novak]

It's in the desk.

[Jocko Madigan]

Come on.

[Pat Novak]

Right here in the top drawer. All right, go.

[Joan Hayward]

Stay away from.

[Pat Novak]

I'm already here, lady. All right, now, come on. Drop the gun.

[Joan Hayward]

Let go of my arms.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Now, that's your version.

[Joan Hayward]

Let go of me. Let go of me. What was that for?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

A little something on the house.

[Pat Novak]

Now beat it.

[Joan Hayward]

Well, you've ruined my confidence.

[Pat Novak]

You're lucky. Go on home.

[Joan Hayward]

You won't change your mind about that letter?

[Jocko Madigan]

No.

[Joan Hayward]

Suit yourself. I'll be going. Oh, Patsy.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah?

[Joan Hayward]

I can't help you on John St. John, but I wouldn't worry about that fellow Sidney Bronson.

[Jocko Madigan]

Why?

[Joan Hayward]

Because I'm Sidney Bronson.

[Connie Riley]

See you soon, Patsy.

[Jocko Madigan]

I let that one sink in for a minute.

[Pat Novak]

But it got about as far as my brain and ran out of gas. She wasn't driving that murder car, otherwise she wouldn't get that talkie. Began to look like a big, fat, well fed double cross. And John St. John was holding up his end. I had to find out what was in that letter, so I made tracks for the bookcase. All I could do was browse because the letter was gone. Whoever took it didn't even leave a tip. I thought of the girl, but that didn't make sense. And I thought of John St. John. That made lots of sense. Things didn't look rosy for me or Jocko. I was about to buy a file and bake a cake when the phone rang. Yeah? Hello?

[Inspector Hellman]

Novak?

[Pat Novak]

No, Hellman.

[Inspector Hellman]

The coroner got a report on that dead girl. She died at 12:30.

[Pat Novak]

That's pretty close. What's he got? A stopwatch.

[Inspector Hellman]

15 minutes either way. Those fingerprints panned out, too.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah.

[Inspector Hellman]

Couple of LA strongarm men.

[Pat Novak]

That's new for la. You got a call out.

[Inspector Hellman]

We already picked them up. Your favorite's named welcome Danglars.

[Pat Novak]

I could Make a joke.

[Inspector Hellman]

I already got one. They're set up with a perfect alibi for 12:30.

[Pat Novak]

That means I killed a girl.

[Inspector Hellman]

Nobody's arguing. I got some more news.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah?

[Inspector Hellman]

I'm out at Seal Rock.

[Pat Novak]

You got the figure for it?

[Inspector Hellman]

We just found an envelope floating around the water. It's one of yours. You better come on out.

[Pat Novak]

We found an envelope. So what?

[Inspector Hellman]

So the envelope turns out to be in some guy's pocket.

[Narrator]

Come on out.

[Pat Novak]

Well, that only meant one thing. Whoever took that envelope out of my place got popular. It was getting late, so I grabbed a cabin, rode out to the beach. When I got there, Hellman was standing down near the water. He had Jocko with him. The surf was rolling in and Jocko wasn't much better.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hello, Patchy.

[Pat Novak]

Hiya, Jocko.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oha's jail dry.

[Inspector Hellman]

Thanks for coming, Novak. You're sweet.

[Pat Novak]

Where's the envelope?

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, it's the same one and makes you look good. There was a letter in here. Did you take that with the guy's money?

[Inspector Hellman]

Hellman, you got all there is.

[Pat Novak]

This guy on the beach is the third one.

[Jocko Madigan]

It's my opinion the case will solve itself. We're running out of people.

[Pat Novak]

Who is the guy?

[Inspector Hellman]

His name's Walter Avery. Here's his stuff.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, what's left. Well, this spliced cross really gets around. It keeps bobbing up. Here it is on the guy's fountain pen.

[Inspector Hellman]

I'm gonna run this guy through the morgue. And then I'm gonna look you up. Novak.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah, sure.

[Inspector Hellman]

We want you down with us.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's right, Patsy. I'll introduce you to all the best people. Good night.

[Pat Novak]

Well, it was close to five, so I tagged by my place for some sleep. I tossed around like a fish on the living room rug. Hellman called about nine to throw more dust in my eyes. He said one of the airlines had a passenger to Portland named Walter Avery. Just to make it tough. The Guy made the 12 o' clock plane and got off at Portland. Well, I had left field all to myself. I got dressed and looked up Sidney Bronson's number. There was no answer, so I went over. The place was locked. And I looked up the janitor. He wasn't gonna let me in, but it turned out his wife had a birthday coming up. Sidney's apartment was real high powered. I don't know where she got the dough, but I knew I wasn't going to find a tin cup and pencils. What I found was lots better. A card with that same insignia. The spliced cross the card said Bellcrest Sanitarium. And down in the corner, there was a guy's name. Dr. Emil Schoenig, psychiatrist, Vienna. Without the walls. The Bellcrest Sanitarium was down near San Carlos. So I borrowed a new Nash from a guy I know and headed down that way. Everything was fine until I got in the front door. They didn't even let me register. I woke up on a couch in Schoenig's office. It was dark outside and my left arm was throbbing like a love story in a woman's magazine. The radiator sitting next to me was Sydney.

[Joan Hayward]

You're a deep sleeper.

[Pat Novak]

I think I got some help. What happened to my arm?

[Joan Hayward]

Hypodermic. You only need one arm.

[Pat Novak]

Anyway, in your case, I need a spare.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Who did it?

[Joan Hayward]

Dr. Schoenig.

[Pat Novak]

He's a darling boy. Where is he?

[Joan Hayward]

Out on the phone, trying to figure out what to do with you.

[Pat Novak]

What's that make me? A patient?

[Joan Hayward]

That's one way of putting it. You made things easy. We were coming to you for the letter.

[Pat Novak]

You want to try that over again?

[Joan Hayward]

We were on our way when you stumbled in.

[Pat Novak]

You're wrong, Sid. Somebody's giving you a fast pitch. That letter was gone when you were up at my place.

[Joan Hayward]

I don't want a bum rib, Patsy. I want that letter.

[Pat Novak]

You're trailing a field angel. I told you, the letter's gone. A guy by the name of Walter Avery took it out of my place.

[Joan Hayward]

Walter Avery?

[Pat Novak]

That's right. And somebody thanked him. They found him this morning making like a dead seal.

[Joan Hayward]

Walter Avery left for Portland last night.

[Pat Novak]

A plant. Sweetheart, you better read up on your friends.

[Joan Hayward]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

Thanks, Patsy.

[Narrator]

I told you to watch him, Sid. You had more shots.

[Joan Hayward]

What's the difference?

[Inspector Hellman]

None, I suppose.

[Narrator]

Why don't you mix this a drink while I talk to Mr. Novak?

[Joan Hayward]

I'll be right with you.

[Narrator]

Well, Mr. Novak, you're one of my best patients.

[Pat Novak]

That's because I like your needles. You better go easy on that drink.

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Jocko Madigan]

Why?

[Pat Novak]

You'll get drunk and run somebody down the way you did that guy on the Waterfront.

[Narrator]

A good guess. You should be proud. That's a good, sensible, final emotion.

[Joan Hayward]

Here's your drink, Amo.

[Narrator]

Thank you, my dear. Here's to Mr. Novak. Sorry there's no drink for you, Mr. Novak.

[Pat Novak]

You probably will.

[Jocko Madigan]

Me, huh?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Forget it, Emil.

[Joan Hayward]

I talked to Mr. Novak before you came in. He thinks you're a heel.

[Narrator]

He does? So do I. I can stand it.

[Joan Hayward]

He told me about Walter Avery.

[Narrator]

I'm sorry about that.

[Joan Hayward]

Walter got that letter. You Killed him and took it. I was supposed to blunder around till you got rid of me, too. That's a bum joke. Emil.

[Narrator]

You're getting hysterical with laughter.

[Joan Hayward]

Emil, you put one of your boys on that plane. Only Novak aired the wash too fast.

[Narrator]

Suppose I did. Somebody ought to bring you up to date, Sydney. You've been hanging on too long.

[Inspector Hellman]

The free ride's over.

[Narrator]

Might as well tell you now.

[Announcer]

You're all through.

[Narrator]

I can't. A whole bunch along and I'm all through.

[Joan Hayward]

Steady, Amelie.

[Pat Novak]

What's the matter with me?

[Narrator]

What's the matter with me? Sid.

[Joan Hayward]

Give him a hand, Novak. He just had a bad drink.

[Narrator]

You wouldn't do that, Sid.

[Joan Hayward]

I'm full of surprises. You got a stomach full of poison. You got a stomach full of poison in 15 seconds. Abel, put down that gun.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Emil, I want you too.

[Joan Hayward]

Sid, please. Emil, put down the gun.

[Pat Novak]

I will tell his personal.

[Narrator]

This happened kind of fast.

[Jocko Madigan]

Fallen over,

[Joan Hayward]

Lots of noise, huh, Patsy?

[Pat Novak]

Yeah. I'll get you a pillow.

[Joan Hayward]

I'd rather have your lap.

[Pat Novak]

You get mercy, not love, baby.

[Joan Hayward]

Thanks for small favors. How do I look?

[Pat Novak]

Not so good. That was the three and two pitch.

[Connie Riley]

Yeah, I had it coming up.

[Joan Hayward]

I'll tell you about John St. John.

[Pat Novak]

I know. There was no such guy.

[Joan Hayward]

That's right. It was the name of the group.

[Pat Novak]

Those spliced crosses.

[Connie Riley]

Yes.

[Joan Hayward]

You found out a little late, but it's always that way. That's the way I found out about you.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah?

[Connie Riley]

Had a funny hunch about you and me. I found out a little late, but

[Joan Hayward]

I know now, Patsy. Does that help?

[Pat Novak]

John St John was the name of an organization buying and selling government information. That old man tried to tell me, but he checked out too fast. I began to figure something like that when those spliced crosses started showing up. Shoney killed the old man in Sydney's car. He couldn't stop because I was around. The two girls and Walter Avery were both in on the deal. Schoenig knew who I was when he saw me go into my office. He tailed me to my place and left Avery there to look for the letter. He killed that girl up in the rooming house and then he found out she didn't have the letter. When Avery showed up, he took it away from him and threw him to the fish. Schoenig was trying to shake Sidney by sending her up to my place. After he had the letter, the scheme went haywire. When I showed up at the sanitarium. He was trying to work himself out of that one when the payoff came. John St. John. Right from the start, Jocko said he was either dead or in the state pen because anybody with a name like John St. John would have killed his parents as soon as he got old enough to find out about it. Worked out all right. They found the letter out at Schoenig's place. There were some plans for guided missiles and a few other trifles.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Well, Hellman asked only one question.

[Pat Novak]

How come Shoney didn't kill me before I could talk to the girl? Well, it's always that way with a guy who commits murder. Either he goes too far or he doesn't go far enough.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Sam,

[Announcer]

The Armed Forces Radio Service has just blocked you. Pat Novak for High, starring Jack Webb. Pat Novak is produced by William P. Russo. Jocko Madigan is played by Tudor Owen. Inspector Hellman is played by Raymond Burr. Music was composed and conducted by Basil Edmond. Be with us again next week when over most of these same stations we'll bring you Hat Novak or Higher. At Novak for Hire was previously released by abc, the American Broadcasting Company, for listeners in the United States and rebroadcast for our men and women overseas. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio Service, the voice of information and education.

[Jocko Madigan]

Sam. Sat novak for higher. Sure, I'm pat novak for hire. That's what the sign out in front of my office says, Pat Novak for Hire. It's about the only way to make a living down on the waterfront in San Francisco. Because around here a set of morals won't cause any more stir than Mother's Day in an orphanage. Maybe that's not good, but that's the way it is. And it wouldn't do any good to build a church down here because some guy had muscle in and start cutting a wine with wood alcohol. All you can do is try to make the books balance. And the easiest way to do that is keep one hand on your billfold and the other hand on somebody else's. Or I rent boats and do anything else that'll buy a warm winter. Works out all right. It saves the government a lot of money. But if anything goes wrong, your trouble comes hard. It doesn't do any good to sing the blues because down here you're just another guy in the chorus. I found that out Wednesday afternoon. It started to rain up by Pier 19 and I knew there was a storm on the way. The bay looked flat and smoothed over, but you can say that for a lot of quarrels. So I closed the office and walked down to the barbershop for a shave. The barber lathered me up. So I couldn't answer back and started to tell me how Dean Atkinson ought to handle things. About five minutes later, somebody walked into the shop and started tapping my foot. He got tired of that and moved up to my chest. Hey, you listening? Hey, stop pushing. That's my chest, not a buzzer. Are you listening? Yeah. What's on your mind? Hey, I want to talk to you alone. He's a barber. He won't listen. Let's go along. All right, let's go. I'll be back in a minute. How do you like that? I got a 14. Equals to my wife. He says,

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I want to hire you tonight.

[Jocko Madigan]

Will you do something for me? Not for friendship. I give you $200 to follow a woman. I've done it for less.

[Narrator]

Not this kind. Her name is Agnes Bolton.

[Jocko Madigan]

You'll find her at 7 o' clock tonight down at this bowling alley. Here's the card. The dress is there. How do I spot her? Read it off an ankle bracelet. You won't have any trouble.

[Narrator]

She's a large woman, about 50 years

[Jocko Madigan]

old with a reddish face. That's no help for 50. She sounds normal. Not Agnes. She couldn't pass for 90. She'll be playing in the last alley with a woman's team called the Playmores.

[Pat Novak]

Yeah.

[Jocko Madigan]

You'll follow her out of the bowling alley.

[Narrator]

Somewhere along the line, she'll pick up

[Jocko Madigan]

a green leather bag. After that, I need your help. It doesn't sound like love. You'll go to the yacht harbor. Get aboard a boat called 7th Heaven. I want you to have your boat ready and follow her into the bay. She'll leave that bag aboard some ship.

[Narrator]

I want to know the name of it.

[Jocko Madigan]

Now, is that 200 worth? Yes. I'll wait for you in your office.

[Narrator]

Contact me there.

[Jocko Madigan]

And be careful. Is she that tough? No, but her friends are. With a figure like that, how come she's got any? They're holdovers. I'd just be careful. Yeah, well, it sounds easy at these prices. That depends on your luck, Mr. Novak. If it turns bad you've been cheating. He stood at the door for a minute and his eyes swept the shop like a $10 broom. And then he turned around and walked off. Well, you couldn't tell anything from his face and his smile was as smooth

[Pat Novak]

as a pound of liver and a bucket of glycerin.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, after I finished, I went down to Pier 19 and I took the boat up to the yacht harbor. I tied up near the Seventh Heaven and I started downtown to that bowling alley. It was Ladies Night, and I stood against the back rail and watched the women bowl. Most of them were wearing slacks. And if I ever get a few bucks ahead, I know the right business. At least the demand is there. About 10 minutes after I got there, Agnes Bolton showed up. And I knew right away Max Hunter overrated her. She was at least 50, because you can't get that ugly without years of practice. She was wearing a green woolen dress. And her figure wasn't any worse than a bale of cotton. Somebody's cut the wire on. The fat hung down from her arms. And there was so much of it you knew even her bones were plump. And Max was right about her complexion. It was red and scratchy. As if she used a bag of sand for cold cream. I must have stood there about 10 minutes watching him bowl when the other girl came up. I didn't see her, but I felt her. She brushed up against me from behind. She leaned on the railing close to me, and when she started to talk. It was like grafting a hot iron onto your spine.

[Joan Hayward]

You look sad, Mr. Novak. Is it the view?

[Jocko Madigan]

What are you, the repair squad?

[Connie Riley]

No.

[Joan Hayward]

I want you to do me a favor.

[Jocko Madigan]

You do me one. Slide over. I bruise easy.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Hello.

[Jocko Madigan]

Now, what's on your mind?

[Joan Hayward]

I want you to do me a favor.

[Jocko Madigan]

Favor?

[Joan Hayward]

Don't follow Agnes Bolton.

[Jocko Madigan]

You're pretty, but I got Max Hutter's dough.

[Joan Hayward]

I'll help you spend it. Don't let Agnes Bolton get to that boat.

[Jocko Madigan]

Look, angel, go warm up an armory. I got a deal.

[Joan Hayward]

Suppose I tell Agnes Bolton you're going to follow her?

[Jocko Madigan]

You tell her first without taking by here. Now, if you got something on your mind, lay it on the liner. Relax.

[Joan Hayward]

I want her worse than Max Hunter does. When she gets that green bag, I want you to bring her to me.

[Jocko Madigan]

I couldn't move her that far. You better run a Derek.

[Joan Hayward]

Please, Mr. Noback, it's important to me. I want to talk to Agnes Bolton. I can give you more money than Max Hunter.

[Jocko Madigan]

You haven't got enough to cover. Lady, you're talking about kidnapping. That's a federal rap. The answer is no. You're sure? Unless you want to change the offer.

[Joan Hayward]

I hope you make it, darling.

[Jocko Madigan]

I may.

[Joan Hayward]

Don't bet your $200. It's bad to die broke.

[Jocko Madigan]

Is anybody that tough?

[Joan Hayward]

Now it's my turn to brush you off. Go ahead and follow her, Mr. Novak. But I'll bet you have to roll her the last couple of miles. And unless you can prove it's an election Bet the police will cause you trouble.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, I watched her as she turned her back and walked out of there. She looked real good. She was wearing a tight jersey dress. That gave you the idea she either thought the weather was warm or she wasn't much on details. I turned around and looked for Agnes Bolton. The game was breaking up and she started into the dressing room. A few minutes later she came out and started down Market Street. Was no trouble following her. You could see her in the crowd. She rolled from side to side as she walked, and when she bumped into anybody, they looked back at her as if they'd been hit in the chest with a sack of jelly. She crossed the street at Stockton, went into a little coin shop. She came out about five minutes later with a green leather bag. She strapped it over her shoulder and she held onto her purse with the other hand. At Powell street, she got on the cable car up near the front. I moved up there to be safe. She looked heavy enough to to tip a cable car uphill. In that light, she didn't look any better. Part of her hair had come undone and hung down in her face like the branches on a dead tree. I noticed her eyes for the first time. They were small and so close together they could have saved time and put them in one socket. But she got off the cable car at Geary and walked into a hotel. I followed her and watched her squeeze into a telephone booth on the other side of the lobby. The way she fit a sardine ought to be happy. She took some money out of her person, started to dial. A couple of people moved in front of her and I didn't get a look at her for about five minutes. And when they moved away, she was still talking to somebody. I looked up about 10 minutes later and I knew something was wrong. Her head was pressed against the phone. She'd run out of conversation. I walked across the lobby and opened the door to get to the phone room. She fell out. As old as she'd ever get

[Joan Hayward]

there.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hey, help me get over the couch, will you? Yes, sir. Was she your wife? She was. This is the way I'd water her purses.

[Narrator]

Filled all over the floor.

[Inspector Hellman]

Sure is a mess.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah. She's some relative, huh? Look, mister, stop trying to pair us up. I was around when she tumbled out, that's all.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Jocko Madigan]

What'd she die from? I don't know.

[Inspector Hellman]

I just figured you might know what she died from.

[Jocko Madigan]

No, I don't. That's a simple question to answer when you know what she died from. Let me through. Here. Come on. All right, Santa bag.

[Inspector Hellman]

Give her a.

[Jocko Madigan]

She can't use anymore. Copper, huh? She quit about five minutes ago. Who are you? I'm not dead. She is. Then who's she? You better check on her stuff. And don't forget that green bag.

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Jocko Madigan]

What bag? The green bag over there on the floor. Well, it was over there a minute ago. The same one the little guy had. What little guy? The one who was talking to you. He just walked out of here carrying a green bag. Well, I got out on the street and a little man had just crossed Geary. He turned and looked back once and I saw him melt into the crowd and disappear quick like the wake of a ship on a dark night. When I came back to the lobby, the copper was over to the couch making noises in his throat as if he was trying to eat upon the cellophane. The manager of the hotel was wringing his hands and making little steps like a ballet dancer with a hot foot. The copper took my name, put in a call to Homicide, and a few minutes later I got into that phone booth. There was a number on the pad and I took it down. Was greystone 42961. I didn't prove much, but Agnes Bolton wasn't out to approve much tonight. I began going through the phone book, but there was no Max Hunter listed. And when I called the office, nobody answered. I knew there was as much chance of him showing up as a second piece of butter on a 50 cent lunch. I ran down that Graystone number and found out it was an address out on Post Street. I walked through the lobby and out the side door. Some of the people were out of the dining room and they looked mad because Agnes Bolton had died during the roast beef instead of later. I walked down Geary to the Union Square garage and gave the guy my ticket. He started down the ramp for the car and I stood there waiting. I must have looked lonely because Hellman from Homicide shoved up near the cashier's cage and started over. He made his way through the cars and as he squeezed by the last one, he looked like a sea lion.

[Narrator]

Hello, Novak. We identified her.

[Jocko Madigan]

And you had lots to work with. Hellman.

[Narrator]

Where are you going?

[Jocko Madigan]

Out on Post Street.

[Narrator]

I'll go with you. Her name was Agnes Bolton.

[Jocko Madigan]

You read it somewhere.

[Narrator]

She was a government agent.

[Jocko Madigan]

They got their money's worth.

[Narrator]

Coroner says she died of quick poison.

[Jocko Madigan]

How quick?

[Narrator]

Five minutes.

[Jocko Madigan]

You're working him too hard, Hellman.

[Narrator]

He's got a license. He says five minutes.

[Jocko Madigan]

She was in that phone booth 10 minutes. Nobody got to her.

[Narrator]

She looked dead to me. Novak, I don't believe you.

[Jocko Madigan]

Well, I'm hurt.

[Narrator]

I don't believe a thing you say.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's up to you. I'm not starting a religion, Hellman. I watched her for 10 minutes. Nobody got to her. You better check on that little guy.

[Inspector Hellman]

Yeah.

[Jocko Madigan]

She was carrying a green bag. A little guy walked out of there with.

[Narrator]

He sounds hard to find. You don't.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hey, mister, is this your ticket? Yeah, it's a blue mag.

[Inspector Hellman]

You better come down and drive it up.

[Jocko Madigan]

Why?

[Inspector Hellman]

I can't get to the wheel. The guy in there won't move, huh? I don't blame him either.

[Jocko Madigan]

When you're dead, you got a right to rest. Elman stood there a minute, wiping his teeth with his tongue. And it began to sound like somebody beating the bathtub with a piece of steak. When he finished making noises, we walked down the ramp to the car. It was the little guy who had taken the green bag. It was hunched over and he was grabbing a wheel as if he'd just married it. Hellman lifted his head up and laid him across the seat. The light was bad, but you could see a little of his face. It was watering around his forehead and the damp hair was plastered down under his hat brim. The perspiration had broken up and started to run down his forehead like tears. And you got the idea he cried out of his hairline instead of his eyes. He didn't look surprised or pained. He just stared with a puzzled look, as if he'd missed part of the conversation. Hellman stood there trying to wipe some egg off his coat and turning to look at the guy to make sure he didn't leave.

[Narrator]

So what happened? Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

So he had an automobile accident. Hellman? I don't know.

[Narrator]

He's your passenger.

[Jocko Madigan]

He bummed the ride himself. When I saw him, he was on his way with that green bag.

[Narrator]

Where is it?

[Jocko Madigan]

He got talked out of it. You better check on a guy named Max Hutter.

[Narrator]

Whose cousin is he?

[Jocko Madigan]

He gave me 200 bucks a tail. Agnes Bolton. I got another offer, too. Yeah? A blonde biscuit. And she said everything on the beat.

[Narrator]

Total stranger. You sure met a lot of people.

[Jocko Madigan]

You better meet a lot of them, too, Hellman, because one of them got Dagness Bolton.

[Narrator]

How about Junior here? Did he crawl down the ramp and die on your seat covers?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I don't know how he got here.

[Narrator]

Well, maybe you left him here and forgot.

[Jocko Madigan]

No, he wouldn't slip my mind. I haven't murdered anybody in the Front seat.

[Narrator]

Not that it's lively, though. You better get a story, Novak.

[Jocko Madigan]

You already got mine. Helmet.

[Narrator]

You won't like the ending.

[Jocko Madigan]

No, but I'll bet you do.

[Narrator]

I like it fine, though.

[Jocko Madigan]

Back.

[Narrator]

You're the only lead on Agus Bolton. I'll shop around and get enough to pin you down.

[Jocko Madigan]

You couldn't pinned down a dead butterfly. Hellman. You better look up Max Hunter and check on a boat called the Seventh Heaven.

[Narrator]

I will. And I'll put a tail on you, Novak follow you all over San Francisco. He'll go any place.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's fine, because I got a suggestion. As soon as Hellman left, I took a cab out to that address on Post Street. But it was a waste of time. I might as well been peddling tip sheets in a monastery. There was a brown house on the corner and there was a big curved window that stuck out from the rest of the house like a wart on the back of your neck. A toothy old man answered the door and said he didn't know Agnes Bolton. I was pretty sure he was on the level. Just kept nodding his head and rubbing the wrinkles on his face. There were enough of them there to bundle up and sell as a canal. I left no downtown on the way. I went by the yacht harbor and the Seventh Heaven had moved out into the stream. Well, it was raining harder now and the docks looked shiny as if somebody had given him a coat of egg white. Well, I had a couple of places to hit, so I looked up Jocko Madigan. He's a good guy who never learned that if you keep your foot on a bar rail for 20 years, it'll do more good for your arches than it will for your brain. I finally found him in the hunt room of the Bellevue Hotel.

A drink for Mr. Novak. Something to take off the chill.

No, I don't want to drink, Jocko. And you've had enough, too.

I refuse to shiver to death, Patsy. I look terrible with a blue face.

Will you stop drinking, Jocko?

I hate whiskey, Patsy, but I'm drinking tonight with a purpose. I made a deal with Charlie the bartender to buy every eighth drink and I got him on the run. By morning, I'll have him in bankruptcy court.

Look, Jocko, I'm in trouble.

I owe. I always know when I've had enough to drink, Patsy. When I tilt the glass up, the rim rubs against the bridge of my nose. It's a sort of safeguard so that when my nose begins to break out in blisters. I know I've had Enough for the night, will you?

Listen, Patsy.

You sound like a young girl coming home from boarding school. You'll never be on the right side of things. You'll always be in trouble because you're a bad citizen. You're a Shabbat half step in the march of progress.

All right, Jocko.

You don't know the difference between good and evil. For you all of human endeavor is a vague blur in high heels. And your vocabulary is a few gutter terms sandwiched in between yes and no. You'll never be any good, Patsy.

Yeah, yeah.

You might as well try to recapture melancholy or ventilator swamp. You haven't a chance, Patsy. You'll never be any good.

Are you all through, Jacko?

Yes, if you're going to be touchy.

Hellman wants me on a murder wrap.

Yes.

Some tubby woman died in a hotel lobby.

Sounds like his mother.

She was a government agent. I followed her in there.

Patsy, you've got to start trusting the government.

I was paid to follow her. But she ate some poison somewhere along the line.

That's the trouble with food.

I got hired by a guy named Max Hunter.

Look him up and resign. That's the best way out of this thing.

I don't know where to find him. And I think that Max Hutter's a phony. Oh, you gotta help me.

Yeah.

Now, he gave me this card. His prince must be on it. Check it down at headquarters, will you? Find out if he's got a record and then tag by my place.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yes.

[Jocko Madigan]

I better have a drink first. There's an ugly taste in my mouth. I. I think it's saliva.

Will you hurry up, Jocko?

All you do is drink. That's all I have left, Patsy. I'm too young to die and too old to do almost anything else.

Yeah, sure.

It's true, Patsy. When you get to be my age, most of the quiet pleasures are fattening. And most of the active ones would kill me. Good night, lover.

When I left Jocko, I dropped by the Chronicle morgue to look up Max Hunter. There was nothing under Hunter. I looked through every Max from Bear back to Beer Bum, and I couldn't find a thing. Well, it was close to 11 when I rode down to the office for a final check. It wasn't raining hard anymore. It was a nice, easy drizzle. You could hear it playing against the sheds along Pier 19. Sounded quiet, almost private. Like the sound a woman makes when she runs her fingernail up and down her stocking. It got on your nerves at first and and you began to enjoy it. The minute I got to the door, I knew something was wrong. There wasn't any reason, but I got the feeling the same way. You know, sometimes when you're gonna get the busy signal on the phone. I could see her lying there on the floor before I turned on the light. You took one look at her and you knew she was the sort of girl whose name ought to be Pearl or Myrtle. Somebody'd sacked her and she was lying with one hand stretched out and the other under her hair. It wasn't really hair. It looked more like a pelt or a raccoon. Just after a shampoo was fuzzed up on the sides and on top she'd combed it back so tight it was about to go under the scalp. She began to move a little. When I bent over, she started to mumble.

[Connie Riley]

What do you want?

[Jocko Madigan]

The red. If you're gonna stay long. Here, put your head up. Mr. Novak, it's too late to change.

[Connie Riley]

Where's Agnes Bolton? Where'd she go, Mr. Novak?

[Jocko Madigan]

I don't know where she went. Was she a good girl?

[Connie Riley]

Something's happened to her.

[Jocko Madigan]

Don't worry, it won't happen again. Who sent you here? Max Hunter?

[Connie Riley]

Yeah.

[Joan Hayward]

Please help me.

[Jocko Madigan]

All right, come on.

[Connie Riley]

I'm Francine Kane. I came to find out about Agnes Bolton.

[Jocko Madigan]

You're a deep sleeper. What happened?

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You wouldn't know her.

[Jocko Madigan]

I would if she's a tall blonde on the make for that green bag. Who is she?

[Connie Riley]

Joan Hayward. Couldn't find her at the Geary Theater.

[Jocko Madigan]

She an actress?

[Connie Riley]

Not exactly.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Connie Riley]

Her stray talents, Mr. Novak, are dimensional rather than dramatic. If you're smart, you'll stay away from her.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Don't tell him anymore, Fran.

[Jocko Madigan]

He's paid up. Hello, Hunter. You oversold me.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Give me back the 200.

[Jocko Madigan]

I'm gonna give you lots for your money. Don't include Agnes Bolton. I don't know anything about her. Is that a lie?

[Inspector Hellman]

Might be.

[Narrator]

There's a green bag.

[Jocko Madigan]

Joan Hayward has it.

[Narrator]

Is that a lie?

[Jocko Madigan]

The little guy didn't think so. She left him dead in my car.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Let's go, Frank.

[Jocko Madigan]

No. You're in a hurry, Max.

[Pat Novak]

You're not.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I hope you like your office, Novak, huh?

[Jocko Madigan]

Because this is where you're gonna spend the night. Don't let him feel bad, lady. It must have been his turn. When I left, he was crumpled up against the desk and she was staring down at him as if she forgot to water the plants. When I rode by the Geary Theater, it was dark, so I looked up Joan Hayward's address when I got out to her place. I knew I'd made a mistake. The landlady clutched her bathrobe like a bar of solid gold and told me Joan Hayward left the house 10 minutes ago. There was a cabby at the corner and he said he dropped her at the Gold Bar Club a few minutes before I got down there. About one o'.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Clock.

[Jocko Madigan]

And Hellman was wandering around, stopping every few feet as if he expected to hear something. The bar was dark except for a light over on one side and over near the jukebox. Joan Hayward was stretched out, as dead as a deer on a fender. At first, Hellman didn't pay any attention when I walked in. I stood there for a while and looked at Joan Hayward. She still looked pretty, except in the dim light. Her skin looked coarse and reminded you of a piece of felt that was almost worn out. But the rest was all right. And Hillman came over for another look.

[Narrator]

What did you forget, Novak?

[Jocko Madigan]

My black tie.

[Pat Novak]

How'd it happen?

[Narrator]

The bar was closed. Where were you?

[Jocko Madigan]

Calling out from under your thumb?

[Narrator]

Yeah, we're gonna keep that coroner. It was quick. Poison.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

We found a needle in her coin purse. She didn't know about it. Ran into trouble when she started to call up.

[Jocko Madigan]

You better find this guy. Max Hunter.

[Narrator]

That's gonna be hard.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

There is no Max Hunter.

[Jocko Madigan]

Does she believe that?

[Narrator]

Your shirker friend came in with a card. We went over the fingerprints. They belong to Jackie Wren. He's wanted for espionage for more than that now.

[Jocko Madigan]

Hellman, maybe.

[Narrator]

Where have you been?

[Jocko Madigan]

Look, Hellman, stop needling me. I won't go on the block for her.

[Narrator]

Don't you like her?

[Jocko Madigan]

I got an alibi you can't break. I've been all over town. Ask yourself.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Tail.

[Jocko Madigan]

Ask your tail where I've been.

[Narrator]

That won't get it, huh? He reported in at 11:30. You got the wrong idea, Novak. You don't rate overtime.

[Jocko Madigan]

When I left there, I knew everything was downhill. Hellman could stick me for everything but Dan McGrew. My only out was to find Jackie Wren. But you can't ring that many doorbells in one night. I went through the book, but there was no Jackie Wren or Max Hunter listed. I went home to get some sleep. And if they turned Gabriel loose tonight, it was all right with me. Jocko called up about 9 and said there was still no trace of Wren. Well, some mornings you can't trust yourself with a razor. So I got dressed and went down to a Greeks on Geary street for breakfast. The murder was all over page one, but there were so many pictures of Hellman you could couldn't tell who was dead. I was about halfway through breakfast when I noticed the story down in the corner. A girl named Tony Pritchard had been found dead out in the marina. The story said everybody liked her. The police didn't have a lead and they couldn't find a reason. Seemed kind of funny, but when I got to the last paragraph, I began to wonder. It said she was employed by the Musicone Company and worked the late shift as a switchboard operator. I wasn't sure, but she came. You can't pass the dice when you only got a buck left. So I jumped down to see Frank Lupo. He said the Musicone Company owned the jukebox in the Gold Bar Club. But it worked like all the rest. People use a little microphone in front of the box. They call into a main switchboard for songs. I grabbed Jocko and we got up to the Musicone Company. The guy in charge said sure. They recorded some of the talk just to check on the girls. And sometimes the girls did it just for laughs. We started through the recordings and about half hour later, Jocko rolled a seven.

No, Patsy, they're all old ones. Try this.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Yeah.

[Jocko Madigan]

Now put it down. I'll handle the needle there.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You're crazy, Jackie.

[Joan Hayward]

She'll know something's wrong.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Let me handle it.

[Pat Novak]

Friends, you'll just get into trouble.

[Jocko Madigan]

I don't want you to get into trouble. Jackie, will you let me worry? You get back to the hotel.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I'll meet you at the Kenwood right after.

[Jocko Madigan]

It's too late.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

She's coming now.

[Joan Hayward]

I gave D as soon as you call Jackie.

[Jocko Madigan]

You made him a mistake, Jones.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

One time you shouldn't have heard.

[Jocko Madigan]

That's enough, Jocko. Let's get up the Kenwood.

Why don't we think it over a while?

Put the record down and come on. There at the Kinwood, you heard the shots.

That's what I'm worried about. If that fellow's any kind of a mechanic, he's had time to reload.

I got down to headquarters and told Hellman why that girl, Tony Pritchard, lost her vote. We rode out to the Kenwood and Hellman started through the register. There was no Jackie Wren listed and we didn't have any better luck with the girl. I briefed the desk clerk and he said he thought there were two people in the hotel who looked like that. But he didn't know their names. Well, all we could do was wait for him to show. So Hellman and I walked down the street and slid into the car. Must have been about 3 o'.

[Narrator]

Clock.

[Jocko Madigan]

And for the next four hours we sat in there. About 7 o', clock, it began to rain harder. It wasn't easy to see the front of the Kenwood. I got out to wipe the windshield and that was a mistake. Because just then the door of the hotel swung open. The girl came out first, and then Jackie ran. He saw me right away and the two of them jumped over to the curb and got into a car. Riding with Hellman's just about as safe as eating an arsenic sandwich. When we got to the corner, they turned east and started down Bush. It wasn't easy to stay behind him. The rain was hitting a windshield. And it was like trying to see through a mint julep. When we got past Jones, Hellman began to close in. It must have scared Wren too much because it stopped. And he swung the car around. With Hellman a few feet behind and it was a dead end both ways.

[Narrator]

He can't get out now. Open the door.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah, there he is. Over the wall. Over here. Hellman. He'll go down that embankment on the other side.

[Narrator]

You can't.

[Pat Novak]

It's too steep.

[Narrator]

Stay on this side. You see him?

[Jocko Madigan]

No, but he's around. I think you got a chance now, Ren.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Come on out. I don't like you that well, mister.

[Narrator]

Over there by the embankment. Can you see the girl?

[Jocko Madigan]

She's with him.

[Narrator]

Over to one side.

[Inspector Hellman]

Move up in front.

[Jocko Madigan]

Oh, you're confused, Hellman.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I pay the taxes.

[Narrator]

It's going to hurt from now on. Ren, I'm coming over.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I hope you make a cover. All right, copper, unless you want a medal, I'm through.

[Narrator]

You don't need the gun. Then get rid of it. Just toss it over there.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

I can't even lift my arm.

[Narrator]

Throw it down, mister.

[Joan Hayward]

Jackie. Jackie, please.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Throw it right at you, cop.

[Jackie Greg]

Francey.

[Pat Novak]

You crazy one.

[Joan Hayward]

You crack.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

You let him kill me.

[Narrator]

He's going over that embankment.

[Jocko Madigan]

You let him kill me.

[Joan Hayward]

Right in front of you.

[Jocko Madigan]

No.

[Joan Hayward]

No. Jackie. Please. Jackie. I tried to stop you. I tried to stop you. Jackie.

[Jocko Madigan]

Grab her.

No, back.

[Narrator]

She's going over.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

Leave me alone.

[Joan Hayward]

Jackie, I want you. Grab her. I want you. Jackie. At least they can let me have this. Jackie.

[Narrator]

Long way down.

[Jocko Madigan]

Yeah. Too bad her name wasn't Jill. The last I saw Francine, she was lying down at the bottom in the rain. Her head was over to one side. And you knew with a little push, it'd roll around as easy as a ball bearing on a plate. Her face was clean, but the rain was beginning to wash the dirt down. And when I left, she wasn't pretty anymore. Jackie Wren outlasted her by a few hours. And Hellman used them all. Agnes Bolton was carrying government papers bound for China. The four people were split into teams. Jackie Wren and Francine were trying to outbid Joan Hayward and the little guy. The way Jackie had it, figured he'd find out what ship they were going out on and pick it up from there. Joan Hayward knew he was dealing with me, so she followed me after I left that barber shop. She saw me park the car in that garage and tailed me down to the bowling alley. She planted the needle in Agnes Bolton's purse, and the little guy tagged along behind, waiting for something to happen just to be on the safe side in case anything went wrong. Joan doubled by the office and gave Francine a headache. When the little guy got the green bag, he took it to Joan. It was too good to split, so she killed him and left him in my car. Well, then she made a mistake. When Jackie called her up and asked her to come down to the Gold Bar Club, she bought the story. Oh, it would have worked out fine for Jackie if he hadn't talked in front of that microphone. But a nosy girl heard it and tried to put the screws on him. Well, Hellman asked only one question about that conversation between Jackie and the girl. Why would a person say anything that private in front of a microphone? I don't know, but I told him

[Pat Novak (main character)]

about a couple of others.

[Jocko Madigan]

Jocko and I heard. He didn't say anything, but I'll bet he gets a hold of those records and plays them every night before he goes to sleep. Sa.

[Host]

We just heard Jack Webb as Pat Novak for hire. That will do it for this week's show. Thanks so much for joining me. I'll be back next week as we continue our Jack Webb Tribute Month. Next Sunday's show is Jeff Freegan, investigator. In the meantime, you can check out Stars on Suspense, my other old time radio podcast. New episodes of that show are out on Thursdays. If you like what you're hearing, don't be a stranger. You can rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. And if you'd like to lend support to the show, you can visit buymeacoffee.com Meansts OTR I'll be back next Sunday with more Jack Webb, but until then, good night and happy listen.

[Announcer]

Now, here is our star, Vincent Price.

[Narrator]

Ladies and gentlemen.

[Pat Novak (main character)]

In a prejudice filled America, no one would be secure in his job, his business, his church or his home. Yet racial and religious antagonist are exploited daily by quacks and adventurers whose followers make up the irresponsible lunatic fringe of American life. Refuse to listen to or spread rumors against any race or religion. Help to stamp out prejudice in our country. Let's judge our neighbors by the character

[Narrator]

of their lives alone and not on

[Pat Novak (main character)]

the basis of their religion or origin.