Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: 3 Simple Ways to Rebuild a Marriage
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger (A)
Caller: Mila (B)
Date: September 15, 2025

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura counsels Mila, a caller grappling with the lasting impacts of childhood sexual trauma and the strain it’s placed on her marriage. The conversation is a raw, compassionate, and directive exploration of trauma, accountability, and actionable steps for healing and rekindling marital intimacy. Dr. Laura distills her “three loving things” practice—a practical daily guide for rebuilding relationships touched by deep wounds.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Unpacking Childhood Trauma and Its Effects

• Mila’s Background:
  Mila reveals her traumatic upbringing, marked by sexual abuse from her stepfather and emotional neglect by her mother.

  • “I was raped and groomed from the age of 13 or 14, to right before I started college.” (B, 02:13)
  • Her mother, though present in the home, was distracted by caring for Mila's younger, chronically ill sister, leaving Mila vulnerably isolated.

• Emotional Consequences:
  Mila admits she sought affection and validation through promiscuity after the abuse ended.

  • “I threw myself at strangers and was pretty promiscuous and reckless with my life.” (B, 04:06)

2. Meeting Her Husband: A Turning Point

• First Signs of a Healthier Relationship:
  Mila describes her husband as the first man to show her true integrity and care.

  • “He was the first example of what a real man was I had ever met … he taught me a lot when it came to integrity, when it came to what it actually means to be honest.” (B, 08:09)
  • He valued honesty and family, and prompted her to confront her past.

• Revelation and Support:
  Mila bravely disclosed her history to her husband; he was initially shocked but continued to support her, urging her to share the truth with her family.

3. The Fallout: Family Betrayal and Marital Strain

• Lack of Support from Family:
  After revealing her abuse, Mila’s mother chose to stay with her abuser (the stepfather), deepening Mila's feelings of abandonment and injustice.

  • "My mom decided to stay with my stepfather. My sisters... I don't even know what to say about my sisters." (B, 09:37)

• Redirected Anger and Marital Crisis:
  Mila confesses she's been lashing out at her husband, feeling resentment for not finding support where she most expected it.

  • “I took out a lot of my anger and resentment out on my husband… I resented him because I opened up about it and it felt like I didn't get justice.” (B, 10:29)

4. Dr. Laura’s Direct Guidance: Clarity and Accountability

• Cold Truths and Perspective Shift:
  Dr. Laura challenges Mila’s expectation of support from negligent family members, urging her to pour her energy into her loving husband.
  • “These people are too whacked out to be by your side. You have somebody. This man you married, he's the one you have by your side… You got lucky, woman, and found somebody to be by your side.” (A, 11:12)
  • “You can decide to be sweet, loving, affectionate, appreciative, kind, considerate, and do nice things for him in gratitude—or be crazy like you're doing now.” (A, 11:37)

5. Three Simple Ways to Rebuild the Marriage (The “Three Loving Things” Practice)

• Practical Assignment:
  Dr. Laura asks Mila to immediately name three loving gestures she could do for her husband—emphasizing small, consistent acts as a path toward healing and marital renewal.

  • “Give me three loving things that would shock the crap out of him if you did them today.” (A, 12:27)
  • Mila’s list:
    1. “Make a dinner that he likes.” (B, 12:45)
    2. “Give him a massage without asking him.” (B, 12:55)
    3. “Write him a letter, telling him…” (B, 13:16)

• Emotional Impact:
  Dr. Laura promises this daily practice will not only restore Mila’s relationship, but transform her own emotional state.

  • “Every day you're going to do three things for him. And this is your treatment plan.” (A, 13:22)
  • “One month from now, if you do these three things every day... If you listen to a tape of you today, you're not going to recognize yourself.” (A, 14:31)

6. Revisiting the Mother-Daughter Relationship

• Emotional Conflict:
  Despite her mother's betrayal, Mila struggles with residual love and longing.

  • “It's almost like I can't help but love her because she can be kind and sweet with me.” (B, 15:02)

• Clear Warning from Dr. Laura:
  Dr. Laura insists Mila's mother is dangerous, manipulative, and incapable of providing the safety and affirmation Mila craves.

  • “She's a dangerous, destructive person who is staying with the man who devastated your life… Don't go backwards for sick affection. Don't do it.” (A, 15:28)
  • “The key to the truth of what a piece of crap she is is she kept him.” (A, 16:07)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You can decide to be sweet, loving, affectionate, appreciative, kind, considerate, and do nice things for him in gratitude—or be crazy like you're doing now.”
  — Dr. Laura (11:37)

• “I threw myself at strangers and was pretty promiscuous and reckless with my life. And then I met my husband.”
  — Mila (04:06)

• “Every day you're going to do three things for him. And this is your treatment plan.”
  — Dr. Laura (13:22)

• “She's a dangerous, destructive person… Don't go backwards for sick affection. Don't do it.”
  — Dr. Laura (15:28)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Unpacking Childhood Trauma: 02:08–04:06
• Meeting and Marrying Her Husband: 08:09–09:16
• Family Fallout & Marital Strain: 09:16–10:49
• Dr. Laura’s “Three Loving Things” Advice: 12:24–13:22
• Mother-Daughter Dynamic: 15:02–16:27

Conclusion

Dr. Laura’s direct and compassionate style gives Mila both a reality check and a practical plan for mending her marriage and moving beyond the traumas of her upbringing. The core advice—focusing on daily, loving actions toward the spouse—serves as a straightforward yet powerful tool for healing deep relational wounds. For listeners facing similar post-traumatic challenges, this episode offers honest validation, actionable advice, and a reminder that building positive daily habits can restore trust and gratitude in marriage.