A Great Example of Raising a Competent Child

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: A Great Example of Raising a Competent Child
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: January 7, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger shares her insights on raising competent, resilient children, focusing on the essential and often distinct roles that mothers and fathers play in child development. Inspired by a touching Instagram video of a father encouraging his young son to overcome a physical challenge, Dr. Laura highlights how supportive risk-taking helps children build confidence and psychological strength. She emphasizes the importance of "letting kids figure it out" rather than rescuing or overprotecting them, especially as they grow.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Instagram Story: Overcoming Fear with Parental Support

• [01:16–04:20]
  • Dr. Laura describes watching a short video featuring a British father and his bundled-up young son at a playground.
  • The boy hesitantly approaches a springy plank toy, fearful and repeatedly expressing resistance: “No, no, no.”
  • The father calmly and persistently encourages: “Be brave. Stand up. You can do it.”
  • Despite his hesitation and whining, the boy finally stands, wobbles, and walks across with some support from the father’s foot steadying the plank, then is urged to jump off. After initial protest, the boy jumps—and immediately transforms, visibly excited and proud.

Memorable Quote:
“Be brave. Stand up. You can do it.”
—Father to son (as recounted by Dr. Laura, 03:10)

2. The Transformative Effect of Courage

• [04:20–06:33]
  • After overcoming the challenge, the boy’s behavior and attitude shift rapidly.
  • He hurries around the equipment, asking, “Daddy, let me do it,” requesting to try again—this time with less support and no whining.
  • Each successive attempt is more enthusiastic and independent.

Memorable Observation:
“The second he jumps off, this kid was transformed.”
—Dr. Laura (04:09)

3. Distinct Parental Roles: Safety vs. Growth

• [06:33–08:34]
  • Dr. Laura discusses the typical differences between maternal and paternal approaches:
    • Mothers usually focus on safety, security, protection.
    • Fathers encourage risk-taking, bravery, and tolerating discomfort.
  • She underscores that both influences are essential: “The balance of those two inputs helps make a kid emotionally and psychologically very healthy.”
  • Traditional maternal caution (“He could get hurt!”) stands in contrast to the father’s measured risk assessment and encouragement.

Notable Quote:
“It's not that moms are bad. Dads are good. It's just that moms and dads are there for different things.”
—Dr. Laura (07:43)

4. Building Competence by Letting Children Find Solutions

• [08:34–10:37]
  • Dr. Laura expresses her frequent advice to parents—especially mothers—to step back and not “baby” children too long, even into adulthood.
  • She advocates telling children, “I believe you will figure it out. I believe you will find a way to do it,” rather than stepping in to solve problems for them.
  • Allowing kids to face manageable risks fosters true competence, confidence, and self-reliance.

Key Takeaway Quote:
“How do you ever get a kid who's competent when you don't allow them to risk and get hurt and figure it out?”
—Dr. Laura (09:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the difference between parents:

  “Moms are into safety, security, protection. Dads are into risk taking, be brave, tolerate pain, tolerate fear.”
  —Dr. Laura (07:45)

• On fostering competence:

  “Let them figure it out. How's he ever going to grow up? How's she ever going to grow up? How can they ever feel good about themselves?”
  —Dr. Laura (09:15)

• Her personal reaction:

  “I enjoyed watching. In fact, I watched the whole thing twice because I got so happy about it.”
  —Dr. Laura (10:22)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:16–04:20: Story of the father and son on the playground, initial challenge and breakthrough
• 06:33–08:34: Discussion of mother vs. father parenting styles and why both are necessary
• 08:34–10:37: Advice on letting children face challenges, and the importance of self-discovery and resilience

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Conclusion

Dr. Laura passionately advocates for a balanced approach to parenting that allows for both nurturing and challenge. Through her thoughtful unpacking of a simple playground moment, she illustrates the real-world, lasting impact of encouraging kids to step past their fears and grow into competent adults. Her central message is clear and empowering: Give your children space to stumble, try, and triumph—because that's how confidence is built.

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Transcript

[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

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[Dr. Laura]

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals, a new sponsor I want to welcome to my program find out how gold and silver can protect what you have worked so hard to build. Learn [e-mail] Protect. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] I saw this brief Instagram. My friends love to send me these things and I think it was in England. The guy had such a British accent and he was. It was chilly. And he had a little boy, his son, who was sort of a, let's see, about three, four, somewhere in there, all bundled up, you know, so they can't even walk right. There's so many layers of clothes. And they're at some kind of park. Let's see. I love Intermittent. They're at some kind of park and the little boy is on his hands and knees on a wood plank that's about 18 inches wide and it looked.

To be about 5ft long.

And it was elevated from the ground with these huge spirally springs. It's a toy for kids to walk on that wiggles. Okay, so he's out with his father, not the mother. Because I'm going to make a point with that. Not that the mother wasn't there per se, but how the mother might have been handling it differently, typically. So the little boy is, no, no, no. And dad just caves, Be brave. Stand up. You can do it. Be brave. Stand up. You can do it. Be brave. Stand up. No, no, no. And so he starts to try to get up because dad just keeps repeating himself. Be brave. Stand up. But it's wheelie. I know.

Be brave.

Stand up. So eventually this little boy stands up and it's wiggling. At this point, dad puts his foot on the other end to keep it from wiggling too much. Okay. I thought was fine. A little bit of support there. And the kid is. And he says, walk, be brave. Walk. Gets to the end and he goes, jump, jump off. And the kid, no. This little boy doesn't give up whining.

No.

Which is normal. And then he jumps off. The second he jumps off, this kid was transformed.

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[Dr. Laura]

Whoa. He ran around to get to the other end, Wasn't quite aware that you could get back on the same end and walk the other way. That was a little advanced. So he ran and he said, daddy, let me do it. Meaning, don't put your foot on. So he goes there, crawls up. It wiggles a lot. No more whining. He stands up and he's. Whoa. Whoa. And dad is going, see? You can do it. See, you can do it. See? Walk. So he walks and it wiggles. He gets to the end and jumps off. Dad has not helped. It's like holding the backseat of the bicycle when the kids. And then you let go. That kind of support. And then this kid wouldn't stop going around getting on. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, jump. That's what we need dads for. Moms generally don't do that. It's not that moms are bad. Dads are good. It's not what I'm suggesting. It's just that moms and dads are.

There for different things.

Moms are into safety, security, protection. Dads are into risk taking. Be brave, tolerate pain, tolerate fear. And the balance of those two inputs helps make a kid emotionally and psychologically very healthy. So it's not enough just to have a man around. You gotta have a man who's invested in helping a boy become a man. I loved was wonderful, made the point. And I was thinking, if mom had been there, she might have said to him, stop pushing him to do this. He could get hurt. And you could see dad saying, how.

Hurt could he get?

He's got 40 tons of clothes on, freezing. How hurt could he get? And look what the kid learned. You could be fearful and you can get up and do it anyway. Not only can you get up and do it anyway, you can do it again and again and again and just get a blast out of it and feel really good about yourself. Kid was all puffed up afterwards. I did this. Mm. That's why I often tell people, stop babying your children when they're 20, 30. Stop babying them. Tell them, especially I tell mothers this. I believe that you will figure it out. I believe you will find a way to do it. As opposed to the mother finding a way or making it happen herself. How do you ever get a kid who's competent when you don't allow them to risk and get hurt and figure it out. That's probably a phrase I've used more than any other with parents who are helicoptering, saving, rescuing. Let them figure it out. How's he ever going to grow up? How's she ever going to grow up? How can they ever feel good about themselves? How can they ever trust themselves? I hope you get it. I enjoyed watching. In fact, I watched the whole thing twice because I got so happy about it. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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