Dr. Laura Schlessinger (2:48)

So this is all about him being an alcoholic that has caused all these other health issues. Got it?

Jessica (Caller) (2:55)

Correct, Correct. And I think that that's where my emotional attachment is remaining because we didn't divorce from a loss of love. We divorced because he's an alcoholic and made really, really poor choices. And when he is sober, he's really, really good and he's really present and is all of the things and refills the.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:21)

Yeah, but that's, that's, that's, that's minimal. So don't go there.

Jessica (Caller) (3:26)

And it's very infrequent, but I find myself always trying to get a better foot forward.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:33)

This is a rational moment. All these other ways you put it, you have to sit there and go, he's hopeless. But for what it was in the beginning. I still have affection, but I'm getting on with my life and taking care of my boy. That's how you talk to yourself now. You don't have to get more dramatic. You don't have to get more dramatic. It's a tragedy, it's very sad. But don't die over this.

Jessica (Caller) (4:17)

I think right now where I'm struggling the most is moving on with my life and leaving this in the rear view and looking in the windshield because I have the potential to.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (4:28)

You'll get used to it. You'll get used to it. You're overthinking it.

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Jessica (Caller) (6:57)

Do I need to continue every day?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (6:59)

Every day, Jessica, get up and say, he's a lost cause, but I got a great son out of it and some good memories. Now what am I going to do today to cherish the fact I'm alive and free from it? Let me hear you say that. Let me hear you say that right here and now, ma'.

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Dr. Laura Schlessinger (7:21)

Are you going to work with me or are you just going to keep finding ways? It doesn't work.

Jessica (Caller) (7:28)

I'm ready.

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Dr. Laura Schlessinger (7:30)

So you give me your version of what I just said. Get up every morning, and I'm going.

Jessica (Caller) (7:36)

To get up every morning and find a way to work for me.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (7:42)

No, that's not all of what I said. But it was interesting to hear where you went with it.

Jessica (Caller) (7:49)

Remind me, please get up every morning.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (7:53)

And say, he's a lost cause. Very sad. But I have some good memories and a great son. And today I'm going to do something which shows joyousness that I'm alive and free from that.

Jessica (Caller) (8:12)

I'm going to get up every morning and say, he is a lost cause and very sad. And today I am going to.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (8:20)

No. And I have some wonderful memories. But that's what they are. Memories. Memories are not spelled. H, O P E. Memories don't have those letters in them. So you left out the memories part and the great kid. So let's start from the top again. Come on.

Jessica (Caller) (8:38)

I'm going to get up every morning and say, he is a lost cause and very sad. But I have some great memories and a wonderful son. And today I am going to show joyousness for all that I am capable of.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (8:53)

Okay, I like it. One final prescription is my. Not until I know you've absorbed this. This is something you have to say every day, like a mantra. It's like rebooting a computer because you're going to get up and be whiny mony in your head, on and off. So if you go directly to your mantra. It is a big change in direction.

Jessica (Caller) (9:30)

How do I give that big change of direction for my son so that he doesn't hang on to the enemy?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (9:36)

I'd have to talk to him. I can't do that through you. I don't know him.

Jessica (Caller) (9:43)

Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (9:47)

But the more positive an outlook and progression you make, the better it is on him and for him.

Jessica (Caller) (9:57)

Right.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:00)

Because he learns it from you.

Jessica (Caller) (10:03)

Right. And he doesn't see my struggle. He sees me.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:09)

Yes, he does. Yes, he does. Yes, he does. You're. You're incorrect. Of course he does. Just like your dog does. They know. They feel it. They could see it. You think you're hiding it. You're not. We don't. We can't. So you really have to do the work. You can't fake this.

Jessica (Caller) (10:35)

Right? And I can't fill his shoes.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:46)

Yeah, well, sorry. That's what happens when we marry a drunkard. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course. I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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