Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode: Are You Copacetic With Failure?
Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM & DrLaura.com
Overview
In this episode, Dr. Laura dives into the vital topic of failure—how we experience it, why we react so strongly against it, and how to teach children (and ourselves) to embrace mistakes as part of personal growth. Drawing from evolutionary biology, her own teaching experiences, and hands-on anecdotes, Dr. Laura explores society’s aversion to losing and reframes failure as a necessary ingredient for learning and future success.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Competition and the Evolutionary Roots of Avoiding Failure
- Dr. Laura challenges listeners: “Raise your hand if you’re totally copacetic with failure. … I’m imagining that in 5 million people who interact with this program, at some point one of you raised your hand and said, yeah, I’m cool. What? Failure? Yeah, I am totally. No, nobody is.”
(00:46) - She outlines that competition is “built in to the animal,” not unique to humans. Our drive to win and fear of failure comes from the survival instincts seen throughout the animal kingdom (e.g., fighting for territory, food, reproduction).
- Key Point: “Failure often means death… some part of our brain has all that information in it.”
(01:44) - Humans can rise above instinct, but not always flawlessly: “We rise above instinct, sometimes the best we can, sometimes not too great.”
(02:38)
2. Helping Kids Cope With Failure
- Dr. Laura says the “biggest hurdle” for parents and teachers is making kids okay with failing, at least when it’s not habitual.
- She asserts:
“Failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures—plural—are stepping stones to success.”
(03:15) - She highlights that instant success is rare: “It’s a rare person in a rare circumstance where success comes the first time you try something. That’s rare.”
(03:26)
3. Teaching Through Hands-On Example: Resin Jewelry-Making Class
- Dr. Laura shares her method for teaching advanced beginner resin jewelry-making, using both structured instructions and physical examples.
- She explains the value in showing her own mistakes: “I made four crucial errors. Four. Well, I’m fussy. What I consider an error, other people going, yeah, it looks alright. No, they’re errors.”
(07:36) - Step-by-step Learning: She plans to present both failed and successful examples: “I’m going to bring it in and I’m going to point out what they have to look for to not make those errors. … Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them.”
(08:02) - By modeling error recognition and correction—rather than glossing over them—she demonstrates how learning happens from failure.
4. The Right Way to Talk About Mistakes
- Dr. Laura cautions against offering empty reassurance when kids err:
“Don’t say it’s okay. … Now you say, that’s an error, and it’s because we did this or we didn’t do that. That’s real cool. Now let’s do it again and conquer those little problems.”
(09:10) - She argues this process empowers kids to recognize and remedy errors, rather than making them perfectionists.
- “You’re trying to have them deal with mistakes and failures. You’re never attaining perfection. Never.”
- “But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power.”
(10:03)
- She uses humor to illustrate classroom camaraderie over shared mistakes:
“Or I’ll just have the class all at one time. Go say, okay, all together now. Ah, shit. Okay, you got that out of your system? Let’s get back to the art.”
(11:04)
5. Perfection Isn’t The Goal—Growth Is
- Dr. Laura reminds listeners:
- “Flowers are not perfect. The wire isn’t perfect. The dye isn’t perfect. The resin isn’t perfect. The table isn’t perfect. Your hand steadiness isn’t perfect. Oh, my gosh. Then how do you expect anything to be perfect? You don’t.”
- The episode closes with encouragement to recognize, understand, and move past failure, using arts and crafts (or any learning process) as a model for life.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
Dr. Laura on Instinct and Competition (01:09):
“We are not plants or minerals. We’re animals and we’re mammals, vertebrates, mammals on top of that. … Competition is built in to the animal again. Territory, food, making more of whatever you are. Competition.”
-
On the Transience & Utility of Failure (03:15):
“Failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures—plural—are stepping stones to success.”
-
Teaching by Example (08:02):
“I thought that is probably the best teaching. Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them.”
-
Empowering Children (10:08):
“But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power. I have the power to make that not happen. I know how to make those two things not happen. Don’t you think that’s better for your kid?”
-
Injecting Humor Into Learning (11:04):
“Or I’ll just have the class all at one time. Go say, okay, all together now. Ah, shit. Okay, you got that out of your system? Let’s get back to the art.”
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Coping with Failure—Competition & Instinct: 00:46 – 03:26
- Teaching Kids that Failure is Normal: 03:15 – 04:10
- Hands-On Example with Jewelry-Making: 07:29 – 09:10
- How to Talk About Mistakes: 09:10 – 11:40
Tone and Style
- Dr. Laura’s tone remains candid, warm, and witty throughout, often mixing humor with tough love and practical wisdom.
- She uses relatable anecdotes (from classroom mishaps to artistic flubs) to soften and humanize the message.
- The overall style is accessible and no-nonsense, emphasizing responsibility, growth, and resilience.
Summary
Dr. Laura’s Christmas Day episode tackles our instinct to avoid failure, reframes mistakes as learning tools, and delivers actionable advice—for parents, teachers, and adults—on how to normalize and learn from errors. Using teaching, humor, and real-world examples, she urges listeners to move past perfectionism, embrace the power in confronting mistakes, and pass these life-changing lessons on to the next generation.