Are You Copacetic With Failure?

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Are You Copacetic With Failure?
Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM & DrLaura.com

---

Overview

In this episode, Dr. Laura dives into the vital topic of failure—how we experience it, why we react so strongly against it, and how to teach children (and ourselves) to embrace mistakes as part of personal growth. Drawing from evolutionary biology, her own teaching experiences, and hands-on anecdotes, Dr. Laura explores society’s aversion to losing and reframes failure as a necessary ingredient for learning and future success.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Competition and the Evolutionary Roots of Avoiding Failure

• Dr. Laura challenges listeners: “Raise your hand if you’re totally copacetic with failure. … I’m imagining that in 5 million people who interact with this program, at some point one of you raised your hand and said, yeah, I’m cool. What? Failure? Yeah, I am totally. No, nobody is.”
  (00:46)
• She outlines that competition is “built in to the animal,” not unique to humans. Our drive to win and fear of failure comes from the survival instincts seen throughout the animal kingdom (e.g., fighting for territory, food, reproduction).
• Key Point: “Failure often means death… some part of our brain has all that information in it.”
  (01:44)
• Humans can rise above instinct, but not always flawlessly: “We rise above instinct, sometimes the best we can, sometimes not too great.”
  (02:38)

2. Helping Kids Cope With Failure

• Dr. Laura says the “biggest hurdle” for parents and teachers is making kids okay with failing, at least when it’s not habitual.
• She asserts:

  “Failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures—plural—are stepping stones to success.”
  (03:15)

• She highlights that instant success is rare: “It’s a rare person in a rare circumstance where success comes the first time you try something. That’s rare.”
  (03:26)

3. Teaching Through Hands-On Example: Resin Jewelry-Making Class

• Dr. Laura shares her method for teaching advanced beginner resin jewelry-making, using both structured instructions and physical examples.
• She explains the value in showing her own mistakes: “I made four crucial errors. Four. Well, I’m fussy. What I consider an error, other people going, yeah, it looks alright. No, they’re errors.”
  (07:36)
• Step-by-step Learning: She plans to present both failed and successful examples: “I’m going to bring it in and I’m going to point out what they have to look for to not make those errors. … Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them.”
  (08:02)
• By modeling error recognition and correction—rather than glossing over them—she demonstrates how learning happens from failure.

4. The Right Way to Talk About Mistakes

• Dr. Laura cautions against offering empty reassurance when kids err:

  “Don’t say it’s okay. … Now you say, that’s an error, and it’s because we did this or we didn’t do that. That’s real cool. Now let’s do it again and conquer those little problems.”
  (09:10)

• She argues this process empowers kids to recognize and remedy errors, rather than making them perfectionists.
  • “You’re trying to have them deal with mistakes and failures. You’re never attaining perfection. Never.”
  • “But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power.”
    (10:03)
• She uses humor to illustrate classroom camaraderie over shared mistakes:

  “Or I’ll just have the class all at one time. Go say, okay, all together now. Ah, shit. Okay, you got that out of your system? Let’s get back to the art.”
  (11:04)

5. Perfection Isn’t The Goal—Growth Is

• Dr. Laura reminds listeners:
  • “Flowers are not perfect. The wire isn’t perfect. The dye isn’t perfect. The resin isn’t perfect. The table isn’t perfect. Your hand steadiness isn’t perfect. Oh, my gosh. Then how do you expect anything to be perfect? You don’t.”
• The episode closes with encouragement to recognize, understand, and move past failure, using arts and crafts (or any learning process) as a model for life.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura on Instinct and Competition (01:09):

  “We are not plants or minerals. We’re animals and we’re mammals, vertebrates, mammals on top of that. … Competition is built in to the animal again. Territory, food, making more of whatever you are. Competition.”

• On the Transience & Utility of Failure (03:15):

  “Failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures—plural—are stepping stones to success.”

• Teaching by Example (08:02):

  “I thought that is probably the best teaching. Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them.”

• Empowering Children (10:08):

  “But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power. I have the power to make that not happen. I know how to make those two things not happen. Don’t you think that’s better for your kid?”

• Injecting Humor Into Learning (11:04):

  “Or I’ll just have the class all at one time. Go say, okay, all together now. Ah, shit. Okay, you got that out of your system? Let’s get back to the art.”

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Coping with Failure—Competition & Instinct: 00:46 – 03:26
• Teaching Kids that Failure is Normal: 03:15 – 04:10
• Hands-On Example with Jewelry-Making: 07:29 – 09:10
• How to Talk About Mistakes: 09:10 – 11:40

---

Tone and Style

• Dr. Laura’s tone remains candid, warm, and witty throughout, often mixing humor with tough love and practical wisdom.
• She uses relatable anecdotes (from classroom mishaps to artistic flubs) to soften and humanize the message.
• The overall style is accessible and no-nonsense, emphasizing responsibility, growth, and resilience.

---

Summary

Dr. Laura’s Christmas Day episode tackles our instinct to avoid failure, reframes mistakes as learning tools, and delivers actionable advice—for parents, teachers, and adults—on how to normalize and learn from errors. Using teaching, humor, and real-world examples, she urges listeners to move past perfectionism, embrace the power in confronting mistakes, and pass these life-changing lessons on to the next generation.

Transcript

[Disney Cruise Line Announcer]

A dream is a wish your heart met. Step aboard a Disney cruise and discover where memories meet adventure. Where escape meets imagination. Where magic meets the sea. Disney Cruise line.

[Chevrolet/Healthy Choice Commercial Voice]

The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space. And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv. It's your Equinox Chevrolet. Together, let's drive.

[Dr. Lora (Podcast Host)]

Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals, a new sponsor I want to welcome to my program find out how gold and silver can protect what you have worked so hard to build. Learn more at Golden Crest Metals. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Raise your hand if you're totally copacetic with failure. You know, I don't know why I keep doing that. This is radio. I cannot see your hands, but I'm imagining them. And I'm imagining that in 5 million people who interact with this program, at some point one of you raised your hand and said, yeah, I'm cool. What? Failure? Yeah, I am totally. No, nobody is. When we're little kids, if you have siblings, oh my gosh. Or next door neighbor kids that come over, the competition is right there. It's built in to the animal. We are not plants or minerals. We're animals and we're mammals, vertebrates, mammals on top of that. My God. So there are certain things we have to do that are just animal and that's survive. And if you look throughout the animal kingdom, there's all this fighting going on for territory, food and reproduction. And this is usually not done sweetly. It's done. Yeah. Ever see crocodiles when they're making more crocodiles? It doesn't look pretty. Okay. Anyway. But if you're a crocodile, I guess it's very cool. It's gorgeous. So competition is built into the animal again. Territory, food, making more of whatever you are. Competition. Failure often means death. And you have to understand some part of our brain has all that information in it. We though, you know, instinctive. We rise above instinct, sometimes the best we can, sometimes not too great. But there are ups and downs in life and rarely is a competition life and death for human beings. Unless you're watching one of Those sick movies. Challenge to the death. Okay. Well, yeah. All right. The biggest hurdle think we face with kids is making them be okay with failing as long as they're not doing it all the time. Then maybe there's intent. I don't know. Could be. Sometimes you just have to tell your kids, you know, failure is usually a stepping stone to success. Sometimes failures plural are stepping stones to success. It's a rare person in a rare circumstance where success comes the first time you try something that's rare. I'm teaching a class here in Santa Barbara at the crafters library. It's called. It's an art place. They have all kinds of arts and crafts there and they have all kinds of classes. And I'm doing advanced. Well, I should say it's advanced beginner is what I called it. So it wouldn't scare people too much. Intermediate advanced resin jewelry making. So I selected. I went on YouTube. I found four things I thought could adequately be done in the class by people who have some but not a lot of experience, but it would definitely up their game a lot. So I found four YouTube jewelry pieces that I thought each taught something different. So then I typed all the Number one, you do this. Number two, you do this. All the instructions are down there. Cure, cure, cure, cure with UV light. It's all UV resin. And then there's a picture that I got off the YouTube channel production at that point to show them what it ought to look like when it's done. So I decided on top of that, I should make each one myself so they can actually physically hold it in their hands. I mean, there are variations, but basically I want them to do the main thing. But how they decorate it can be different. Okay.

[Disney Cruise Line Announcer]

A dream is a wish your heart met. Step aboard a Disney cruise and discover where memories meet adventure. Where escape meets imagination. Where magic meets the sea.

[Blue Buffalo Dog Food Announcer]

Disney Cruise Line My dog Max loves chewing on my favorite pair of shoes almost as much as he loves his Blue Buffalo life protection formula Dry dog food. Seriously, he never leaves a crumb. And I love it too, because it's made with high quality protein, antioxidant packed fruits and nutrient rich veggies. Blue Buffalo foods are made with the superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive. Can your dog food say that? Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[Chevrolet/Healthy Choice Commercial Voice]

Eating healthy doesn't mean you have to eat out at a pricey restaurant. Healthy choice simply steamers. Grilled chicken and broccoli Alfredo is an easy high protein meal with nothing artificial. The steam tray keeps the sauce Separate so you get crisp broccoli, creamy Alfredo sauce and tender grilled chicken. That's delicious every time. And it's a satisfying meal. With 28 grams of protein, you can find it in the frozen aisle. Healthy choice. What having it all tastes like.

[Adobe Acrobat Studio Announcer]

Adobe Acrobat Studio. So brand new. Show me all the things PDFs can do. Do your work with ease and speed. PDF Spaces is all you need. Do hours of research in an instant with key insights from an AI assistant. Pick a template with a click. Now your prezo looks super slick. Close that. Yeah, you won. Do that, doing that, did that, done. Now you can do that, do that with Acrobat. Now you can do that, do that with the all new Acrobat. It's time to do your best work with the all new Adobe Acrobat Studio.

[Dr. Lora (Podcast Host)]

Holidays feeling hectic? Pillsbury is here to lend a hand. Roll out some magic with cookies, crescents, crusts and more. Fresh from the oven. Tis the season for big smiles and easy wins with Pillsbury. So I got up early this morning, had an interview at 5am I was actually coherent. I was past coherent. I did a good job and the interview was good. I'll tell you about that later. So I started making one and I picked the color and then I decided I'm going to use flowers. You can use many things. But I decided to use little flat preserve flowers. And I'm working on it and I made four crucial errors. Four. Well, I'm fussy. What I consider an error. Other people going, yeah, it looks alright. Yeah, it looks alright. No, they're errors. And I thought this is wonderful, this is wonderful. So I stopped doing the last parts of it and I'm going to bring it in and I'm going to point out what they have to look for to not make those errors. I thought that is probably the best teaching. Here are the screw ups. This is how you avoid them. And now I'm two thirds of the way finished doing it again. And this time I didn't make the errors I made the first time. So I'm going to bring that in and say this is how I screwed up and why and how. And then once you screw up, the next one or the next one after that is going to be good. I think that's how you teach kids about failure. You do arts and crafts with them and don't say it's okay. That's what parents do. I think teachers do it, siblings do it, friends do it. It's okay, it's all right that way. Now you say, that's an error, and it's because we did this or we didn't do that. That's real cool. Now let's do it again and conquer those little problems. And so the kid hunkers down and is now doing part two or part three. Stops saying, it's all right, it's okay, no problem. So sometimes people say, but then, aren't you trying to make them a perfectionist? No. You're trying to have them deal with mistakes and failures. You're never attaining perfection. Never. Flowers are not perfect. The wire isn't perfect. The dye isn't perfect. The resin isn't perfect. The table isn't perfect. Your hand steadiness isn't perfect. Oh, my gosh. Then how do you expect anything to be perfect? You don't. But mistakes ought to be recognized and remedied because then the person has power. I have the power to make that not happen. I know how to make those two things not happen. Don't you think that's better for your kid? Then it's not perfect. I don't want to do it anymore. I will say that I won't do it in class, but when I screw up, I do reserve the right to say a bad word or five. Not in class. Or I'll just have the class all at one time. Go say, okay, all together now. Ah, shit. Okay, you got that out of your system? Let's get back to the art. So, yeah, I think it's important. That's how you teach your kids. My number. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Disney Cruise Line Announcer]

A dream is a wish your heart. Step aboard a Disney cruise and discover where memories meet adventure. Where escape meets imagination. Where magic meets the sea. Disney Cruise Line.