← The Dr. Laura Podcast
The Dr. Laura Podcast
Attracting a Loyal and Kind Life Partner
00:14:52
Listen to my Morning Monologue: I’m sharing my take on pressing issues, enlightening research on human behavior, answering questions I get by email, and my favorite, most instructive interactions with callers. Everything you’ll hear is designed to help you become a better spouse, parent, family member, co-worker, friend, and human being. It’s the free therapy you need! Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.com
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Thank you for listening to my morning monologue brought to you by Golden Crest Metals, a new sponsor I want to welcome to my program find out how gold and silver can protect what you have worked so hard to build. Learn more@goldencrestmetals.com Protect Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 7@drlaura.com just got attracted by the subject matter. This is Lachlan Brown wrote an article in small businessbonfire.com called if you really want to attract a loyal and kind life partner, say goodbye to these behaviors. Wow. In other words, if you want to get a really good spouse, you're going to have to make sure these behaviors you never do again. You never do again. You can attract somebody in a bar and go off and have fun for several months. That doesn't mean you're attracting a loyal kind person distinction. Just anybody. Easy loyal kind person requires more. So let's examine what's in this article first 1. Being overly critical. Uh huh. In the realm of love and relationships, behavior plays a pivotal role. One behavior that often pushes potential really good life partners away is being overly critical. Because we all screw up, we all make mistakes, we all do silly things. No one wants to feel constantly, the word is constantly criticized or belittled. You gotta stop that. You have to stop that if you want a loyal, kind person in your life. Because being overly critical sends the message. This person is hard to please, they don't appreciate much of what we do, and it makes it difficult for someone else to feel comfy, loved and secure. So it's essential to replace criticism with understanding, compassion. Not stupid understanding and stupid compassion, but understanding and compassion for these little squirts of annoyances. Of course, if a person's got a whole way of behaving that you can do nothing but criticize, that's what we call a very big red flag. Okay? So it's always better to focus on the positive aspects of people rather than their shortcomings. As long as they're minor and not destructive to self or others. Okay? Number two, self care. You skip meals, you ignore your fitness routine, compromise on sleep, soon it affects your physical health and your emotional well being. The truth is, neglecting self care just doesn't attack you. It attacks your relationships. Sends a message that you don't value yourself and that you will deteriorate over time. Now bad things attack. You know, I have a trigger finger, which unfortunately is the middle finger. So when the finger comes down, it snaps back. Which some of my friends have made a joke that if I'm going to flip the bird, it really gets flipped. Okay. Nonetheless, when things happen, things happen. But when you cause your own deterioration, how does that attract a loyal, kind, nice person who isn't neurotic and feels like they have to save you? So you're going to not, you're going to have to not neglect your self care, your teeth, your sleep, your diet, your exercise. Because that's something you owe to a relationship. That's part of taking care of, of a relationship. You are sort of like the tool in your relationship building and you have to keep yourself whole and healthy. Choose to lean into it. Every Mazda is engineered to give you effortless control.
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I wake up. Hey everybody, it's Rob Lowe here. If you haven't heard, I have a podcast that's called Literally with Rob Lowe. And basically it's conversations I've had that really make you feel like you're pulling up a chair at an intimate dinner between myself and people that I admire, like Aaron Sorkin or Tiffany Haddish, Demi Moore, Chris Pratt, Michael J. Fox. There are new episodes out every Thursday, so subscribe please and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Eating healthy doesn't mean you have to eat out at a pricey restaurant. Healthy Choice Simply Steamers Grilled Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo is an easy, high protein meal with nothing artificial. The steam tray keeps the sauce separate so you get crisp broccoli, creamy Alfredo sauce and tender grilled chicken. That's delicious every time and it's a satisfying meal with 28 grams of protein. You can find it in the frozen aisle. Healthy Choice what having it all tastes.
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What does perfectly picked wellness sound like at Target? It sounds like gut health in a gummy like coffee made from mushrooms and the perfect workout set. It sounds like protein hidden in chocolate bars, cloud popcorn bags, even water.
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From.
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Rise mushroom coffee to David bars. It sounds like wellness perfectly picked for you is now and new at Target.
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Third1 oh, I love this one in particular. Living in the past. All your traumas, all your disappointments, all your hurts, all the negative stupid crap that has happened to you, we're just going to keep it going every day like a continuous tape. Well, I can't trust because 40 years ago this happened. Well, I can't feel comfortable because, because, because that's not going to bring a loyal, kind, healthy person into your life. Because if you're constantly looking back, constantly looking back, it's like driving a car. As I've said before on the air, looking through the rear view mirror and you're not dealing with that person and today. So you have to let go of past hurts, past regrets. As Buddha said. The article has a quote from the Buddha do not dwell on the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate the mind on the present moment. That's a lot of people talking these days about mindfulness. Person wants to be another person wants to be dealt with on the basis of who they are, not who you've been with. Okay, number four, I think number three is so important. But number four, avoiding vulnerability. In my realm psychology, vulnerability is Seen as a strength, not a weakness. Now, people have said, oh gosh, that person just went through a death in the family. So they're emotionally vulnerable. Let's talk about. They're emotionally sensitized. Because vulnerability is the ability to be true with who you are and where you're at. You shouldn't do that with everybody. It's like there are privacies which should be maintained until there's a hell of a lot of trust which comes to being a decision. Many of us, the article goes on, avoid being vulnerable due to a fear of rejection or judgment, both of which happen all the time. Rejection happens all the time to us. Judgment happens all the time to us. People make judgments about us, and people reject certain things about us. They may be reasonable things to reject. Who are these days mostly stupid, Narcissistic on your own part. Things reject. They don't think like I do. Yeah, that's what's happening these days. As though you were actually thinking, you know, I was watching a YouTube video, which cracked me up because I've seen these so many times. So the past weekends, there have been all over America, these groups of people with angry signs and angry faces and angry verbiage, just angry. And there have been folks with microphones and tape recorders and video who ask them specifically, what are you angry about? Oh, I'm angry about the whole turn of events. Could you be a little more specific? What exactly are you angry about? And you could say, well, these were all edited. Well, go out and do this yourself. Go walk in a crowd and ask people, hey, I'm new here. I was just wondering what's going on. What are people angry about? And you know what they can't tell you. I find that terrifying when you have people angry with violent verbiage and they can't explain why. That's a lot of what's happening in our society today. So that's another impediment. When you're meeting people, are they rational, are they ignorant or just stupid? Ignorant means you don't know the facts. When you know the facts and you ignore them or twist them, then you're stupid. Okay, just want to clarify those two. So. So a lot of you avoid being vulnerable due to fears of rejection or judgment. Risk it. Somebody rejects you. How about so be it? Somebody makes a judgment, think about it, and either reject it or apply it to your life. Don't hide from it. Rejection has never killed anybody. Okay, five. I sort of touched on this already. Always seeking agreement. It might seem to read here counterintuitive but always seeking agreement can actually hinder your chances of attracting a loyal and kind person. While it's important to find common ground, it's equally essential to maintain your individual individuality. The saying goes, in all arguments in a relationship, no one is totally right and usually no one is totally wrong. So allow people to. I have a video in front of me, so I'm putting my fingers together, but shifting them over so it looks like 10 instead of 5 on 5. You know, as long as you're both interested in truth and kindness, you may vary a little bit on acceptance and appreciation. Be able to talk those out. Don't expect a carbon copy of yourself, please. Okay, not setting limits. Why do people call these boundaries? But I think boundaries are just for cattle. I don't think they're for people. Boundaries never stopped anybody from doing anything. Mostly if you have limits to what you will tolerate, if somebody is at that line or over the line, then it's up to you to say at that very moment, not, I laid down a boundary six weeks ago. And you're just still, you know, that's just childish stuff. So drop the word boundaries. If somebody is doing something to you that you don't like, just stop and say, you know what? I think your heart is in the right place, but I don't really care for that. That's not how I wish to be treated. Isn't that more communicative? If you want to get a loyal, nice person and they know you're not going to sandbag, be angry for weeks, months, years, and then hit them on the head with, you didn't respect my boundary, remember? Unless you're cattle, I don't care. Number seven. We only have two more left. Of the eight things you have to stop doing, number seven is fear of expressing your emotions. What? You don't want to look overly sensitive, you know, risk it all. Share your emotions, please. If you're not going to be authentic and have the strength to deal with the truth of who you are and what you need and what you want and what's happening, you're not going to have a quality relationship anyway. So expressing your emotions allows your partner to understand you better and makes a connection. So express your emotions not vitriolically kindly. Last but not least, Being overly dependent, that's a drag. At first it might seem, oh, this is so sweet. Being overly independent can sometimes make you seem, I don't know, unapproachable, unavailable. But on the other hand, if you're not in a reciprocal relationship but you're so needy, then that person's needs are never going to be met because you're spending your time on your own needs. So those are the eight things you damn well better change if you really want a healthy, quality, loyal person in your life who's going to be kind. Yes. And if you need to change any of those, or more than one of those behaviors, give me a call at 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.
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What does Perfectly Picked Wellness sound like? Like Target's stylish new JoyLab activewear and new flavors of Cloud Protein popcorn, it sounds like Wellness Perfectly picked for you is now at Target.