Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day

Episode: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Date: September 5, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Guest Caller: Natalie

Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura Schlessinger offers her signature tough-love advice to Natalie, a 27-year-old woman who just left a seven-year relationship marked by verbal abuse and unreciprocated care. The call focuses on Natalie’s feelings of guilt and failure over her decision to break up and seek a fresh start, and Dr. Laura unpacks these emotions, reinforcing the importance of self-respect and personal accountability.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Natalie's Situation and Emotional State

• Natalie shares her story (01:01–01:50):

  • She left her boyfriend after seven years, feeling uncertain and guilty about the breakup.
  • Admits to having done “wifely duties” (like laundry) for him despite not being married.
  • Reveals the relationship included verbal abuse.
  • She’s now relocating to Daytona with her mother for a new start.

• Natalie’s feelings of guilt and failure (01:50–02:43):

  • Struggles with the sense that leaving was “failing.”
  • Feels bad for not ending things sooner and not blocking her ex immediately.

2. Dr. Laura’s Analysis: What is Guilt?

• Defining guilt (02:12–03:14):

  • Dr. Laura challenges Natalie to identify what she’s done that is wrong, immoral, or unethical.

  • She emphasizes that guilt is reserved for when one has done something “immoral, illegal, unethical, or fattening.”

  • Memorable quote:

    “Is it immoral to leave somebody who’s not treating you well? Yes or no?”
    — Dr. Laura (03:14)

• Shifting the focus to true feelings (03:36–04:15):

  • Dr. Laura clarifies that what Natalie is feeling isn’t guilt but sadness, anger, and possibly regret over lost time.

3. Moving Forward: Accountability and Support

• Affirmation of Natalie’s decision (04:16–04:57):

  • Dr. Laura congratulates Natalie for leaving and highlights that her age (27) means she has time to rebuild.

  • She compares Natalie’s situation to women who wait decades before making a change.

  • Notable moment:

    “You’re finally leaving. Staying was stupid.”
    — Dr. Laura (04:16)

• Encouragement and pride (08:04–08:48):

  • Dr. Laura reassures Natalie she has made the hard, right choice and should feel proud, not ashamed.

  • Direct affirmation:

    “I’m proud of you, Natalie. I’m proud of you that you made the difficult decision."
    — Dr. Laura (08:37)

• Advice for the future (08:49–09:35):

  • Dr. Laura instructs Natalie to focus on starting fresh, not to seek external validation, or dwell on the past.

  • Actionable advice:

    “Do not call any girlfriends to try to justify your decision. Don’t do that. That’s going backwards. And you don’t need their opinion. You had your own on Monday, and I’m so proud of that.”
    — Dr. Laura (09:21)

4. Reframing Failure

• Addressing perceived failure (09:45–10:26):

  • Dr. Laura reframes Natalie’s breakup: leaving a relationship that was never viable isn’t failure.

  • Memorable metaphor:

    “You can’t talk about failure when something was impossible in the first place and he was not possible. So you can’t talk about failure if something was not possible in the first place.”
    — Dr. Laura (09:45)

  • Dr. Laura gives a humorous analogy to hammer home the point (The Ironman at age 78), emphasizing that attempting the impossible and not succeeding is not failure—it’s misguided effort.

Notable Quotes

• Dr. Laura:

  “Well, then guilt means you’ve done something immoral, illegal, unethical or fattening. So which one? Is it immoral to leave somebody who’s not treating you well?”
  (03:14)

• Dr. Laura:

  “You’re finally leaving. Staying was stupid.”
  (04:16)

• Dr. Laura:

  “I’m proud of you, Natalie. I’m proud of you that you made the difficult decision."
  (08:37)

• Dr. Laura:

  “You can’t talk about failure when something was impossible in the first place and he was not possible.”
  (09:45)

• Natalie:

  “So I needed to call you and have you hear you say it to me. You know. I know. I know.”
  (04:41)

• Dr. Laura:

  "The only thing you’re going to focus in on now is starting again with what you’ve learned, from him and from me and your mommy."
  (09:07)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:01] Natalie describes her relationship and feelings
• [02:12] Dr. Laura challenges the notion of guilt
• [03:14] Immorality of leaving an abusive relationship discussed
• [04:16] Dr. Laura affirms Natalie’s decision
• [08:37] Dr. Laura expresses her pride in Natalie
• [09:21] Practical advice about not seeking validation from friends
• [09:45] Discussion on why this isn’t failure
• [10:26] Dr. Laura uses personal analogy about Ironman race

Tone and Style

Dr. Laura’s signature mix of blunt directness and heartfelt encouragement is on full display this episode. She uses humor, tough-love, and concrete examples to push Natalie—and by extension, the audience—to drop destructive guilt, recognize their worth, and commit to positive action.

Conclusion

This episode is a valuable listen for anyone grappling with breaking out of a toxic relationship. Dr. Laura’s advice cuts through self-doubt and unproductive guilt, replacing them with self-compassion, responsibility, and forward momentum. Her approach leaves Natalie, and listeners, empowered to let go of the past and focus on new beginnings.