Can People Really Change?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Can People Really Change?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
• Host/Author: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM
• Episode: Can People Really Change?
• Release Date: June 18, 2025

Overview: In this compelling episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Dr. Laura Schlessinger delves into the profound question, "Can people really change?" Through an insightful conversation with Pamela, a caller grappling with a troubled relationship, Dr. Laura explores themes of personal accountability, trust, and the potential for transformation in human behavior. The discussion is enriched with Dr. Laura's hallmark no-nonsense advice, ethical considerations, and emphasis on personal responsibility.

---

Introduction to the Call

Timestamp [00:28] – Dr. Laura Welcomes Pamela

Dr. Laura opens the program by greeting Pamela, setting the stage for a heartfelt and earnest conversation. Pamela introduces her predicament, having been married for 32 years before divorcing and venturing into the online dating world. She shares her experience of meeting a man who initially seemed like a promising partner but revealed a history of infidelity, leading to a tumultuous on-and-off relationship.

---

Pamela's Relationship Struggles

Timestamp [00:45] – Pamela Shares Her Story

Pamela recounts her journey:

• Initial Connection: After divorce, she enters the online dating scene and meets a man with whom she feels a strong connection.
• Discovery of Infidelity: As the relationship becomes serious, Pamela questions him about past infidelity. Initially, he denies cheating, but later admits to it, citing dissatisfaction in his previous long-term marriage.
• Red Flags: Pamela notices unsettling signs, such as her boyfriend continuing to employ a woman he previously dated. Despite her reservations, they repeatedly break up and reconcile.

Notable Quote:

"I've learned my lesson. It was a very hard lesson."
— Pamela [02:50]

---

Dr. Laura's Perspective on Change

Timestamp [03:01] – Addressing Past Behavior

Dr. Laura challenges Pamela's skepticism about the possibility of change:

"I don't agree with you on either count because if I did, I wouldn't do this show. I'd leave now and go ride a bicycle. If people couldn't or wouldn't change, there's no point for me to be on the air."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [06:32]

She emphasizes that personal change is feasible when there is genuine motivation:

"If people wish to change, they... want a better, different life, more quality."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [07:25]

---

The Role of Motivation in Personal Transformation

Timestamp [07:08] – Motivational Factors

Dr. Laura elaborates on what drives individuals to change, citing examples such as:

• Religion and Spiritual Awakening: Many find a new purpose through religious or spiritual commitments.
• Life-Altering Experiences: Events like imprisonment can lead to significant personal growth and a desire to lead a better life.

Notable Quote:

"People turn to religion and say they're now found. And there are all sorts of things. People change because they want a better, different life, more quality."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [07:25]

---

Pamela's Continued Doubts and Dr. Laura's Reassurance

Timestamp [05:23] – Pamela's Intuition

Pamela expresses her intuition that her boyfriend's problematic behavior may repeat:

"I'm going to call it my intuition. My gut was saying there's something wrong with this guy and he would verbally tell me that my intuition was wrong."
— Pamela [05:23]

Timestamp [07:00] – Dr. Laura's Assurance

Dr. Laura reassures Pamela that while past behavior is a factor, genuine intent to change can override previous actions:

"I believe when people wish to change, they... want a better, different life, more quality."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [07:25]

She encourages Pamela to consider whether her boyfriend's motivations align with a true desire for personal growth.

---

Conclusion: Embracing Change and Letting Go

Timestamp [08:23] – Dr. Laura's Final Thoughts

Dr. Laura wraps up the conversation by highlighting the importance of recognizing when to let go:

"Let's be fair... Maybe you can change that and not be a pain in the butt anymore."
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger [08:13]

She subtly suggests that embracing change involves both recognizing others' potential for growth and making personal choices that foster well-being.

---

Key Takeaways:

• Potential for Change: Dr. Laura firmly believes in the ability of individuals to change when motivated by a desire for improvement.
• Trust and Accountability: Trust is foundational in relationships, and past behavior can indicate future actions, but it doesn't doom one to repeat mistakes.
• Personal Responsibility: Both parties in a relationship must take responsibility for their actions and work towards positive transformation.
• Letting Go: Recognizing when to leave a dysfunctional relationship is crucial for personal growth and happiness.

Final Thoughts: This episode underscores the delicate balance between believing in people's capacity to change and the necessity of setting healthy boundaries. Dr. Laura's compassionate yet straightforward guidance offers listeners valuable insights into navigating complex emotional landscapes with integrity and self-respect.

---

For More Insights: Tune into Dr. Laura Schlessinger's live radio program from Monday through Friday, 2 to 5 PM Eastern Time on SiriusXM Triumph 111. Visit DrLaura.com to become a Family member and access exclusive content and resources.

Transcript

[Discover Card Advertisement]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it Pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson Report.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Pamela welcome to the program.

[Pamela]

Thanks. Dr. Lara, thanks for taking my call.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

My pleasure.

[Pamela]

The reason I'm calling I was married for 32 years, got divorced, decided to throw myself out there into the online dating pool world, met a gentleman, and I, we had a connection, started to date and as we were getting serious, I began asking him questions like did you ever cheat on your wife? Things of that nature. Anyway, initially he told me no, but as I kind of thought he was not telling me the truth. And as we continued to date and I pressed for this question again, he said eventually, yes, he did wind up cheating on his wife. And he told me the circumstances. You know, he was in a long term marriage like myself, his wife wouldn't give him sex, blah blah blah. And you know, eventually this, this affair happened for a short time. And then there was another incident where he, he owns a tree business and there was a woman working for him, which I thought was odd. A woman working in a tree business which is kind of like guy's work. And here this woman was somebody that he had dated while he was when he first got divorced, but she still worked for him. And at that point I broke up with him and I said, look, you've already cheated on your wife. You're employing somebody that you were in a relationship with. This is not for me. Broke up. He'd call me back, we'd get back together, broke up, get back together. And this last time I just said, you need to leave me alone.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I don't understand. He called and said what to you? That made you go back several times? What did he say to convince you that was a good idea.

[Pamela]

That that is not who he is now? And I said past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. And he said I've learned my lesson. It was a very hard lesson.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And okay, that was okay.

[Pamela]

Woohoo.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, that was the first time. Then why did you break up with him after he said, that's not me anymore. And you went back with him. Why did you break up with him again? Did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? The Dr. Laura program is happy to be partnering with our sponsor All Free Clear Laundry Detergent. My peeps with kids are especially thrilled to use it because it's 100% free of dyes and perfumes. All Free Clear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended for sensitive skin by pediatricians, dermatologists and allergists. For a clean you can feel good about, all you need is All Free.

[UPS Store Advertisement]

Clear at the UPS Store we want to make this summer the Summer of Shipping Summer Shipalooza so you can start crossing items off your must ship list like the vintage film camera your college kid needs for class or or the vase you told your mom you would send her ages ago. And with our Pack and ship guarantee, your items arrive safe or we reimburse you. So stop by your local store today for everything you need to be unstoppable. Visit the upsstore.com guarantee for full details. Available at participating locations. Most locations are independently owned. Products, services, pricing and hours of operation may vary. See center for details. The UPS Store Be Unstoppable My favorite.

[US Cellular Advertisement]

Part about having US Cellular home Internet is all the things it lets me do. Its quick connection lets me enjoy things like streaming my shows, keeping up with my friends online, taking work calls without lagging and not having to stress about cost. Switch to US Cellular and do the things you love with the Internet. You love just $39.99 a month when bundled with a wireless plan. And if you don't love it, you have 15 days to let us know terms apply. Visit uscellular.com for details.

[Discover Card Advertisement]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit car and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nelson report.

[Pamela]

I'm going to call it my intuition. My gut was saying there's something wrong with this guy and he would verbally tell me that my intuition was wrong.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, then you then he called you up again and what did he use that time to convince you to see him again?

[Pamela]

Actually his brother in law passed away and he Sent me his brother in law's obituary and said, I need to see you. And I think that was number four. And number five, he sent me this. It was a. A ship with.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I don't understand. You would go back and then you would break up again. Why?

[Pamela]

Yep.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Why? Why?

[Pamela]

Because I feel. Because the things I know about him, I think are potential for. If he cheated on his wife, what would stop him from cheating on me? If he's employed with this woman that he was in a relationship with, the chances of them interacting with each other and something happening again I think is high.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, Pamela, I don't agree with you on either count because if I did, I wouldn't do this show. I'd leave now and go ride a bicycle. If people couldn't or wouldn't change, there's no point for me to be on the air.

[Pamela]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So.

[Pamela]

So you don't think people's past behavior is a future is an indicator of.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I believe when people wish to change, they. Or there'd be no point for me to talk to anybody and help them with there.

[Pamela]

Yeah. Oh, you're right.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

People turn to religion and say they're now found. And there are all sorts of things. People change because they want a better, different life, more quality. So some people actually go to jail. It's not typical, but they'll come out of jail having learned something and wanting to do and be something better. People change if they're motivated. I don't know why he keeps coming back to you. You're a pain in the butt.

[Pamela]

I know.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Let's be fair.

[Pamela]

You're so damn right.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, yeah, maybe you can change that and not be a pain in the butt anymore.

[Pamela]

See there, Then people wouldn't call you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, there's always new people being born. And I appreciate your call. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger. My number, 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the DRLaura stamp of approval. Visit drlaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.

[UPS Store Advertisement]

At the UPS Store. We want to make this summer the summer of shipping summer Shipalooza. So you can start crossing items off your must ship list. Like the vintage film camera your college kid needs for class or the facial you told your mom you would send her ages ago. And with our pack and ship, guarantee your items arrive safe or we reimburse you. So stop by your local store today. For everything you need to be unstoppable. Visit the upsstore.com guarantee for full details available at participating locations. Most locations are independently owned. Product services, pricing and hours of operation may vary. See center for details. The UPS Store Be unstoppable.