Conquering Anxiety

Summary

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The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: Conquering Anxiety
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Date: March 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on managing and overcoming anxiety, with Dr. Laura responding to a caller, Ty, seeking advice about navigating anxiety (especially in high-pressure or emotionally charged situations). Dr. Laura leans into her trademark mix of direct compassion and practical psychology, emphasizing personal agency, normalizing anxious feelings, and recommending specific behavioral techniques.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Distinguishing Everyday Anxiety from Clinical Disorders

• [02:15] Dr. Laura probes Ty to clarify whether he’s experiencing a temporary crisis or a deeper clinical issue, noting how common such feelings are:

  “Everybody calls and tells me anxiety and depression. It's so common. It's like lozenges. So I don't always know if this is a clinical situation or people are going through something…”

• She encourages Ty to avoid labels:

  “If you couldn't use the words anxiety and depression, how would you explain to me what you need from me?” [03:01]

2. The Role of Upbringing and Past Efforts

• Ty describes cultural stigma and parental responses to emotional struggles:

  “Back in that day, it was like, you know, keep it undercover. You know, pull your boots up or your pants up. Be a big boy. You'll be okay.” [04:14]

• Dr. Laura asks whether “pulling up his boots” ever truly worked, gently challenging the efficacy of old-school stoicism.

3. Universal Nature of Anxiety

• Dr. Laura normalizes Ty’s feelings, connecting his experience to a broad human condition:

  “Your angst is universal. You have to decide a way to handle it.” [08:13]

• She offers examples from high-performers (actors, athletes) who combat fear—sometimes poorly with substances, sometimes well with routines.

4. Action-Oriented Coping Techniques

• Emphasizing behavioral tools, Dr. Laura spotlights practical strategies like “mantras” or physical routines for moving through anxiety:

  “Some ball players... have a routine. They touch their nose, they touch their ear, they say something to themselves and they get going like a little mantra.” [09:06]

• She discourages magical thinking:

  “You don't snap yourself out of it. No, I never said that. I said, you recognize that you're scared and you have a technique for moving forward anyway.” [10:56]

• Dr. Laura shares her personal coping strategy:

  “The first time I went on stage, I was pretty scared... I went, three, two, one, go. And I just walked. I didn’t think how scared I was.” [11:07]

• She applies this to a sailing story, reinforcing the value of learned responses:

  “Jibing in 3, 2, 1. And I turned the wheel because I was no longer thinking about my fear. I had a habit. You count backwards: 3, 2, 1. I'm good to go.” [12:25]

5. Choosing Therapy Wisely

• Dr. Laura recommends cognitive therapy:

  “You ought to see a cognitive therapist… to help you come up with tools, like the baseball player who says certain things to himself and taps his head four times.” [09:54]

• She describes cognitive therapy as practical-focused:

  “The thing about cognitive therapy is it's mechanical. So it's going to teach you certain ways to think. It's not as emotionally sensitive an interaction… they give you exercises and explain things.” [13:08]

• She shares a success story of rapid improvement through such therapy.

6. Repetition & Building Confidence

• Dr. Laura encourages Ty (and listeners) by reiterating that built habits make anxiety more manageable:

  “Once you get your 3, 2, 1 it, you don't need it as much because in life... it gets to be more of a habit. That's it. It gets to be a habit.” [16:22]

7. Avoiding Over-Pathologizing

• Dr. Laura cautions against over-reliance on drugs or endless therapy when the problem is manageable with skills:

  “Just don't go on drugs and spend 10 years in therapy... What you have to learn is how to manage, regulate your emotions...” [16:56]

• She focuses on capacity:

  “There were times he was able to do it... That means you can do it again.” [17:11]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura humor:

  “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what? We all feel tons of stuff.” [04:43]

• On facing discomfort:

  “If there’s something new and a little bit threatening I have to face, I’m not comfortable. So by your definition, I’m broken. I’m not comfortable. But I have found ways to handle the moment.” [09:38]

• On agency:

  “You have to come up with your own 3, 2, 1. And that can be anything. You can do the alphabet backwards.” [14:30]

• On normalizing fear:

  “Yeah, I get scared, too. Of course I’m human. I want to make sure I don’t screw up. You know, want to do something well. It’s normal.” [16:04]

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Important Timestamps

• [02:15-04:12] – Ty describes his feelings and upbringing, Dr. Laura questions the use of broad terms for emotional pain.
• [08:13-10:46] – Dr. Laura explains the universality of anxiety and introduces behavioral coping strategies.
• [11:07-12:25] – Dr. Laura’s personal stories (public speaking and sailing) illustrate using routines to overcome fear.
• [13:08] – Detailed recommendation of cognitive therapy.
• [14:30] – The “3, 2, 1” rule and customizing one’s own technique.
• [16:22-17:11] – Emphasis on repetition, normalization, and not over-pathologizing anxiety.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Anxiety is a normal part of being human; even admired people experience it.
• Behavioral routines and personal mantras (like counting down “3, 2, 1, go”) are practical ways to break paralysis in stressful moments.
• Cognitive therapy is a recommended approach for actionable tools rather than endless emotional excavation.
• Building new habits is key; the more you practice these strategies, the more automatic and manageable anxiety becomes.
• Empowerment through self-awareness and action leads to change—not avoidance or excessive pathologizing.
• If you’ve been able to face things before, you can do it again.

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For further advice or to connect with Dr. Laura:
Call 1-800-375-2872 or visit DrLaura.com

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Transcript

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thanks for listening to my call of the day, sponsored by Native Path Collagen, the collagen I take daily to support healthy joints, skin, bones and gut. Go to getnativepath.com drlaura for free shipping and a special bundle deal at a fraction of the retail price. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and connect with me 24 [e-mail] Tyler, welcome to the program.

[Caller (Ty)]

Hi, is this for me?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

This is you. You're having an identity crisis. I think it's you.

[Caller (Ty)]

Yeah, I am. Yeah. I didn't know if you're talking to me, but hey, Dr. Laura, how are you? Glad you take, you take my call. And I just want to say I love you. I'm a longtime listener.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Thank you.

[Caller (Ty)]

Lost you for a minute there and just came back across on the serious radio a couple days ago.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Oh, welcome back.

[Caller (Ty)]

Yeah, yeah, thank you. Thank you. So the question I had was any advice on how to deal with. And I don't know if it's debilitating anxiety and depression?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, I have no tips. Have you had therapy? Do you think you have a disorder? Do you think there are. What is it that you think is going on? I mean, everybody calls and tells me anxiety and depression. It's, it's so common. It's like lozenges. So I don't always know if this is a clinical situation or people are going through something and they don't quite know how to handle it, so. And that be more specific.

[Caller (Ty)]

Well, and I, like I told the screener, I don't know. Debilitating.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

They don't talk to me. You have to talk to me. If you couldn't use the words anxiety.

[Caller (Ty)]

Shh.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

If you couldn't use the words anxiety and depression, how would you explain to me what you need from me?

[Caller (Ty)]

So I don't understand. Those are just the terms anxiety and depression.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And of course, as I just said, not being able to use the words anxiety and depression at all, you can't say them in this conversation. How would you explain to me what you need from me?

[Caller (Ty)]

Well, so I'll put it like this. So when I'm under pressure situations, right? He did heated conversations, or you know, just like the pressure conversations, I lose my train of thought. I kind of, I want to say shrink back and don't say anything. I kind of shut down is what I'm guessing I'm trying to say.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And did you start this at five years old or five years ago?

[Caller (Ty)]

Yeah, like, it was definitely. I noticed in my teens and I remember asking my mom, hey, you think I need to go see somebody? Because something is not, you know, I don't feel right on the inside. Right.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And did mom help you with that?

[Caller (Ty)]

Well, you know, back in that day, it was like, you know, keep it undercover. You know, pull your boots up or your pants up. Be a big boy. You'll be okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And did you do that?

[Caller (Ty)]

Trying to, but. Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, but did you ever. Did you ever pull yourself up and face whatever it was? Did you ever succeed at doing that?

[Caller (Ty)]

Yeah, but I still.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know what? We all feel tons of stuff.

[Caller (Ty)]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So what, what we just discovered, what we just did. Stop fiddling with whatever you're fiddling with. Pay attention to yourself.

[Caller (Ty)]

And I'm paying attention.

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

You pointed out that in spite of some feelings to the contrary, that there are times you pulled yourself up and faced whatever it was. That's what every one of us has to do. I think you might erroneously think that the only way people face things is not to have any anxiety. That's not true. You may have heard that there are the actors who go on the stage, throw up, that before they go on that rock Stars use drugs. These are not good ways to deal with fear of being rejected, not doing a good job, being liked. It's universal. Ty, your angst is universal. You have to decide a way to handle it. Some ball players anxious when they have to get out there and hit a ball or throw it, have a routine. They touch their nose, they touch their ear, they say something to themselves and they get going like a little mantra. What I'm pointing out is that you are not unique in that you don't work. You're not unique in that your feelings are universal. What is unfortunate is, up to this point, you haven't learned techniques to more consistently handle feeling uncomfortable. If there's a stressful situation, I'm uncomfortable. If there's a stressful conversation I have to have in my personal life, I'm not comfortable. If there's something new and a little bit threatening I have to face, I'm not comfortable. So by your definition, I'm broken. I'm not comfortable. But I have found ways to handle the moment. So you might want to go into some kind of counseling not to go back into your parents and your childhood. None of that nonsense. You ought to see a cognitive therapist. C O G N I T Cognitive therapist to help you come up with tools, like the baseball player who says certain things to himself and taps his head four times. People do all kinds of strange things,

[Caller (Ty)]

so it's just a matter of kind of creating your own. Whatever it takes to, like, snap yourself out of it and, you know, get on your.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

No, you don't snap yourself out of it. No, I never said that. I said, you recognize that you're scared and you have a technique for moving forward anyway. And what you find is that the first time I went on stage, I was pretty scared. And the way I got myself to walk. Yeah, Mae, I'm human, just like you. Just like you. So to get on the stage, I stood there and the gorgeous sound. And now here she is, Dr. Laura. And I thought, I better move. I better not stand here. And I went, three, two, one, go. And I just walked. I didn't think of how scared I was. I counted backwards and forced myself to. To walk. One time when I was in a sailboat race and I'm the driver, and it was from here to Hawaii, we had to make a right hand turn with a special sail up, which is kind of dangerous when it's very windy. And I started to make the turn and one of the crew members screwed up. So fortunately, I had good instinct. I turned back. But Then I got scared. And my tactician said, okay, you have to turn to the right. I said, no. He said, no, no. Hawaii's over there. You have to turn right. I said, no. I mean, that was insane of me just to stand there and say no. I was scared. So you know what he did? Jibing in 3, 2, 1. And I turned the wheel because I was no longer thinking about my fear. I had a habit. You count backwards. 3, 2, 1. I'm good to go. That's mine. You have to find yours.

[Caller (Ty)]

Ah, yeah. And. And funny you mentioned it. And that's where I'm at. You trying to find a therapist. And you said, you mentioned cognitive therapist. So I know what type of therapist to look for. And another question I was going to ask you in that line with how do you know, how do you pick out a good therapist?

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Well, the thing about cognitive therapy is it's mechanical. So it's going to teach you certain ways to think. It's not as emotionally sensitive an interaction. It's a different kind of therapy. They give you exercises and explain things, sort of like I'm explaining them, and they give you things to do. I had referred a daughter of a friend of mine to this cognitive therapist because she was. Started out college and she was sitting in lectures wanting to throw up. Well, it took three weeks. That was gone. Okay. So she was so scared that she was going to throw up. All right. Everybody does it differently. It's human. You have to come up with your way of going. Mine is three, two, one. Boom. Okay, that's it.

[Caller (Ty)]

And not meaning to cut you off, Doctor, but. And so I, I. When I'm. When I'm having that emotional. Whatever's going on in the inside, the anxiety, I'm filled with anxiety. That's what it is. My heart is racing and things like that.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Right, right, right.

[Caller (Ty)]

And so I just stand in it. I stand in that emotion, I guess, not knowing what to do.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

And that's right. You know, you don't know what to do.

[Caller (Ty)]

Bingo. Bingo.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

So you have to come up with your own 3, 2, 1. And that can be anything. You can do the Alphabet backwards.

[Caller (Ty)]

Okay. And I. And I received that. I thank you for that. Do you have a book on your life story, Dr. Laura? Because now you. Now you. You drove a sailboat.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yeah, I still race.

[Caller (Ty)]

Oh, wow, wow, wow. Okay. Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Yeah. I don't. I don't pull lines. I don't pull ropes. I steer.

[Caller (Ty)]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So like I told the screener, now that I found you, and when You. I want to wear my welcome out. But when you say, hey, my lines aren't lit up, I'm gonna. I'm gonna take advantage of it. So just.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Good. Thank you. I appreciate you live in California.

[Caller (Ty)]

No, I wish I did.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Too bad. Wait, I was gonna squeeze you in no matter what to the presentation, but. Okay. I appreciate your calling, Ty. Call me back anytime. My number, 1-800-375-2872. That was a great call. Very important call. I hope most of you got it. Yeah, it seems to surprise people when I say, yeah, I get scared, too. Of course I'm human. I want to make sure I don't screw up. You know, want to do something. Well, it's normal. Of course, once you get your 3, 2, 1 it, you don't need it as much because in life, I'm 79 now, it gets to be more of a habit. That's it. It gets to be a habit. So you feel the heart racing a little bit, and you know exactly what you need to do because you've done it enough times. That's why. Just don't go on drugs and spend 10 years in therapy. What you have to learn is how to manage, regulate your emotions. And the key to me was there were times he was able to do it. If it was never ever, ever, ever, ever, then maybe he needs medication. But there were times he could do it. And that's the key. You got to remember there are times you could do it. That means you can do it again. So get over your anxiety and give me a call. I have a totally open board. 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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