Deep Dive: Are Your Kids Calling the Shots?

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "Deep Dive: Are Your Kids Calling the Shots?"

Episode Information

• Title: Deep Dive: Are Your Kids Calling the Shots?
• Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
• Network: SiriusXM Triumph 111
• Release Date: July 24, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Dr. Laura's Deep Dive, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses common parenting challenges where children seemingly take control, disrupting family harmony. Through real-life caller scenarios, Dr. Laura provides no-nonsense advice infused with ethics, accountability, and personal responsibility.

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Caller 1: Martha – Overcoming a Child’s Fear of Escalators and Elevators

Timestamp: [00:37] – [06:25]

Issue Presented: Martha reaches out distressed over her daughter’s severe anxiety regarding escalators and elevators. Despite frequent trips to the mall, her daughter’s fear manifests in tears and tantrums, making it impossible to use these common facilities.

Key Discussion Points:

• Understanding Child Behavior: Dr. Laura emphasizes that children often act out to assert control and have not yet developed the ability to rationalize or manage their emotions effectively.

• Root Cause Analysis: Martha shares that her daughter's fear originated from a traumatic incident at six years old when she nearly injured herself on an escalator. This singular event has generalized her fear to elevators as well.

• Parental Response Strategies:

  • Consistent Boundaries: Dr. Laura advises that parents must remain firm and not give in to the child’s manipulative behavior. She suggests framing activities positively and making it clear that not participating due to fear is unacceptable.

  • Positive Reinforcement: Encourage the child by highlighting the enjoyable aspects of the activity (e.g., offering candy or other rewards).

  • Immediate Consequences: If the child resists, remove privileges and proceed without them to demonstrate that such behavior results in missed opportunities.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: “Remember, you are the parent and your job is to help them grow up and learn how to cope with their fears, frustrations, and with life's difficulties.” [00:40]

• Martha: “She just looks around. She absolutely doesn't want to do it. That's all. And she won't.” [04:21]

• Dr. Laura: “If you put the food down and go, okay, you don't want it. It's okay, I get it.” [06:54]

Conclusion: Dr. Laura reinforces the importance of not yielding to manipulative behaviors and consistently enforcing boundaries to help children develop resilience and responsibility.

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Caller 2: Samantha – Addressing a Sensitive 7-Year-Old Adopted Child

Timestamp: [12:03] – [19:44]

Issue Presented: Samantha, a mother of three adopted boys from foster care, seeks advice on managing her 7-year-old son's heightened sensitivity and frequent emotional outbursts over seemingly minor issues.

Key Discussion Points:

• Potential Trauma Influence: Samantha suspects her son's behavior may stem from past trauma due to his early years before adoption, affecting his emotional regulation.

• Behavioral Examples:

  • Feeling upset for not being able to open a catalog during a mail-opening activity.
  • Becoming emotional over small incidents like oatmeal left out or not being able to finish breakfast.

• Dr. Laura’s Advice:

  • Avoid Over-Compassion: While understanding potential trauma, Dr. Laura advises not to overly cater to the child's emotional needs, as it may lead to manipulative behavior.

  • Clarify Realities: Clearly explain situations without sugarcoating, reinforcing that not all desires can be met immediately.

  • Promote Responsibility: Encourage the child to understand and accept the consequences of his actions or choices, fostering independence and self-confidence.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: “Don't cater to the wimpy stuff because he's manipulating you.” [15:51]

• Samantha: “I always tend to think, oh, it's trauma. And I try to be compassionate towards that.” [15:58]

• Dr. Laura: “Treat him the way that represents your goal, which is to have him feel secure, strong, competent, meaningful.” [17:18]

Conclusion: Dr. Laura emphasizes the balance between understanding a child's emotional background and maintaining firm boundaries to cultivate a sense of security and competence in the child.

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Caller 3: Listener – Managing a Teenager's Dominant Behavior

Timestamp: [20:29] – [26:45]

Issue Presented: A listener, also named Samantha, discusses challenges with her 14-year-old daughter who exhibits dominant and disrespectful behavior, especially during family events like vacations.

Key Discussion Points:

• Behavior Patterns: The teenage daughter creates disruptive morning routines, uses earbuds to isolate herself, and demands control over household activities.

• Parental Accountability: Dr. Laura holds both parents accountable for not enforcing rules and allowing the child's behavior to dominate the household.

• Disciplinary Measures:

  • Withdrawal of Privileges: Remove objects or privileges that enable the undesirable behavior (e.g., taking away the radio).

  • Consistent Consequences: Implement calm and consistent consequences without yelling or threatening to reinforce authority.

  • Unified Parental Front: Both parents must present a united front to effectively manage and correct the child's behavior.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura: “Why are you the culprit? Why are you raising a crappy human being.” [24:17]

• Listener: “I'm weak. I'm scared of losing her. I'm scared that she's going to hate me.” [24:28]

• Dr. Laura: “Earning is very important.” [25:36]

Conclusion: Dr. Laura stresses the importance of parental strength and consistency in enforcing rules to prevent children from manipulating situations, thereby fostering respect and proper behavior.

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Closing Remarks

Dr. Laura summarizes the episode by reiterating that children often test boundaries to assert control. She emphasizes the necessity for parents to lead with clear authority, accountability, and consistent discipline to ensure children develop into responsible and respectful individuals.

Final Quote:

• Dr. Laura: “Your kids are counting on you to be the leader.” [27:53]

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Key Takeaways

• Maintain Authority: Parents must remain steadfast and not give in to manipulative behaviors.

• Consistent Boundaries: Establish and enforce clear rules to guide children’s behavior.

• Balanced Compassion: Understand underlying issues without overindulging, promoting resilience.

• Unified Parenting Approach: Both parents should collaborate to present consistent discipline and support.

---

For more insights and advice on parenting, visit DrLaura.com or call 1-800-DR-LAURA.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

It's Birch Lane's Black Friday in July sale, happening July 24th through 28th. Save up to 70% on timeless furniture and Decor. Shop Classic style for Joyful [e-mail]. listen to all my episodes of Dr. Laura's Deep Dive in your favorite podcast app. Search for Dr. Laura's deep dive podcast and follow my deep dive today. Dr. Laura's deep dive deep dive Dr.

[Podcast Announcer]

Laura's deep dive Podcast do you believe.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You'Re failing as a parent? Does it feel like you've lost control and your kids are using tantrums, tears and other strategies to run the show? First thing you need to understand is that you cannot rationalize with a child. They're selfish little creatures who want their immediate needs gratified. They're highly emotional creatures and want what they want. And they'll make a lot of noise while trying to get your attention or bend you to their will. Do not buckle. Remember, you are the parent and your job is to help them grow up and learn how to cope with their fears, frustrations, and with life's difficulties. Most parents don't really know what to do. They fear being disliked by their children if they make them unhappy. So, like my listener Martha, they ignore bad behaviors or try to rationalize with their child. And. And Martha was at her wits end when she called me, wondering what she could do to help put an end to her daughter's tantrums and start to restore peace and order to the family. Martha, welcome to the program.

[Martha]

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call so recently. Not recently, but for a period of time. My daughter has been experiencing extreme anxiety and in fear of escalators and elevators. Especially escalators. We go to the mall all the time and the only way to get upstairs and downstairs is use the escalator. And she will not do it. For the life of her. She will cry, she will throw.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I'm sorry, I've never been to a mall or a place that didn't have an elevator.

[Martha]

Well, even with an elevator, she's scared of that, too. And it's not about claustrophobia. She's just scared it's going to break down.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And where do you think that came from?

[Martha]

I can't hear that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, I'm not asking if you asked her. I didn't say, have you asked her? You're her mother. You've been with her for 10 years. You know what's gone on in the family. You know what's gone on for the most part in her life. What do you think that stems from.

[Martha]

I know where it stems from. From the escalator, but from the elevator.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

All right, well, you know what? I'll take the one you have, so give me the escalator.

[Martha]

Okay. Okay. So when she was about six years old, she was trying to go up an escalator, and she put one foot on, and escalator started moving up and she forgot to put. She didn't put the other foot forward, and it stretched her legs out, and she almost did the splits, and it really, really hurt. Ever since then, she's never wanted to use an escalator.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Lynn, why do you act like this is some miracle that you don't understand? Well, the elevator is just an extension of what goes up, so she is just generally a miracle.

[Martha]

I'm just wondering for suggestions on how.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

She has generalized from the escalator to an elevator. It's just a leap of recognition in her mind.

[Martha]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Have you gone over that. That thing that happened? Have you said, let's go to the bottom of the escalator? Can you remember when you were six, you put one foot up and you didn't put the other foot up?

[Martha]

Yes, yes. We've done it several times, and she won't do it. I've suggested holding her hand.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay. I can't be there with her, so I don't know how to tell you how to deal with this.

[Martha]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Unless I was there to see her reaction.

[Martha]

So it's just a fear in her eyes. She just looks around. She absolutely doesn't want to do it. That's all. And she won't. I could pull her and shove her. She just won't.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, then she doesn't get to go on these trips. Got to tell her I'm going to the store. Sorry, I can't. Oh, my God. Can I finish a thought, please?

[Samantha]

Of course.

[Martha]

I'm sorry. Go right ahead.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I think it is now we do the. Since I can't be there with her and play my little games, because they're mostly impulsively based on how I see her behave, and since I'm not going to do that, then I can't go in that direction. But I would make a big deal about, you know, I'm going to the store. I was hoping you'd come with me to pick out, you know, address, something she'd want. But since you can't, because you don't want to take the escalator or the elevator, you know, Honey, see you later. I'll be home in a couple hours. What she has then Is a choice to make between something very positive and something very negative. And at some point, she will make the choice or not.

[Martha]

Got it.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I would make it sound like something wonderful. Yeah, we're going up there. And they also have whatever she likes. I don't know. I'll be ridiculous. It's also candy they're giving out. Whatever.

[Martha]

Yeah.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I'm sorry, you can't come because you don't want to get on the escalator. Don't use the word fear. I'm sorry you can't come because you don't want to go up the escalator. But. Or the elevator. So, you know, maybe some other time. Kiss, kiss, hug, hug. I'm going to miss you. Bye.

[Martha]

Yeah. Okay, perfect. Perfect.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So she does not get to dominate and control with this behavior that we take that away from her.

[Martha]

Okay, perfect. You answer my question. Perfect. Thank you so much.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I mean, think about any puppy or cat that you've had and you want them to go eat. And for some reason they're doing the I don't want to eat. So you pick them up to put their nose in it. You bring the container close to their face. You do all this stuff and it promotes them saying no because you're forcing something. And so they're going to maintain the opposite. So if you put the food down and go, okay, you don't want it. It's okay, I get it.

[Martha]

Yeah, I get it. I need to be more patient because the thing is, we had a destination. We had to go to the top of the. Of the mall and she was not cooperating. It took 30, 40 minutes and we could not get there. And we had to cancel and not go. It was just.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

No, that was a mistake. Canceling and not going was a terrible mistake. Telling her, okay, we're going to go without you. We'll take some pictures so you can see what we saw. And you get the next door neighbor or babysitter. You do stand on your head. You do something. You split it up. So only one of you is going. But whatever it is, you. You don't let her win this anymore. She's controlling.

[Martha]

I don't have much. I don't have much help. So do whatever it takes. So we go and she doesn't type of thing.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yes, okay. And you tell her what a wonderful time you're going to have and you're going to. Okay, you're sorry she's going to miss it. But they have an. So you add at the end of it, mommy and daddy are going to mary Smith's house. And they have all kinds of puppies and kittens and little birdies and it's going to be very cool. They're going to be other kids there and. And I would take you, but I understand you don't want to go because there's an escalator. So. Kissy. Love you. I'll take some pictures. So you're not saying it first. You're mentioning the escalator last. First you're describing how wonderful it's going to be.

[Martha]

Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Now there's a part three and a half to this.

[Martha]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Be prepared. Okay, I'll go. I'll go on the escalator. Really, you don't have to, honey. No, no, no, I'll go. And then she's going to shove it up your nose when you get there. She won't get on the escalator. You have to immediately decide. One of you takes her home and the other does the event. She cannot win. Okay, but no, yeah, let me. This caveat's important. No anger, no irritation. Looks so sympathetic. Oh, honey. Okay, we'll just take you home.

[Martha]

Yeah, because I, I can be a pusher over at times. I can be very firm by her phone, but she. Man, they can get to me and I, you know, I give in and.

[Listener]

You'Re right, I need to stick to it.

[Martha]

But I don't have to get angry. I don't have to get like. I know exactly what you're saying. Thank you so much.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay. You're very welcome. This is very manipulative and I need you to stay relaxed while you're doing it. I'm Dr. Laura Schlesinger and we have to take a break here. So breathe, breathe. And then think about how you're going to get your kids to earn their privileges from now on. And I'll be right back.

[Podcast Announcer]

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

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[Samantha]

Hmm.

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[Podcast Announcer]

Dr. Lara's much deeper Deep Dive Podcast.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Children need to understand that the world is not just about them. They love to test. They want to push your buttons, find your pain points, and see if you're weak. I've actually watched 2 year olds play their mothers. It's just part of the DNA. But parents have the responsibility of civilizing these little beings instead of giving in to what they want. As mom of three, Samantha discovered kids have certain dispositions from birth. One of her boys was a little more whiny than his brothers and in my opinion, more manipulative. And when she called me, she needed strategies to help guide him to becoming the kind of young man she and even he would be proud of. Samantha, welcome to the program.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Samantha]

Wow, it's so exciting to talk to you. Dr. Laura, thank you so much for taking the time today. Could hear me.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Thank you. Thank you. What's up?

[Samantha]

Yeah, I'm the mother of three. My husband and I have been married for 11 years this Saturday and we have three boys that we there's ages 6, 7 and 8 and we adopted all of them through foster care. I'm calling in the yes, I'm calling in regards to our 7 year old. We don't know a whole lot about what happened before he came to us, but I have a feeling that maybe what I'm calling about Might have to do with trauma. And I'm just, I'm excited to hear your insight on it. He's very, very sensitive and gets his feelings hurt very easily. And so my question is, how do I respond to him when he gets emotional over just little, little things to me but that aren't little to him?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, can you give me some examples?

[Samantha]

Yes. Let's see. Yesterday we went to check the mail together, and they love to open the mailbox. And I let him open the mailbox. And his two brothers are. They're very assertive. They have very different personalities. And so his two brothers grabbed the catalog to look at. And my. My 7 year old, who I'm calling about, I let him open a box. So they all got to do something. And when we got home, he comes to me and he's choked up and he says, mommy, I didn't get to look at a catalog. And so that's just one example out of many.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And your answer is you did get to look at the blank. I'm sorry, you said they each took something out of the mailbox. Is that correct?

[Samantha]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Well, what did he take out of the mailbox?

[Samantha]

He took a box and he opened the box.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, you did not get to look at the catalog because you got the box. Okay, you just explained to him the obvious. You can't have them both because we're all sharing. Okay, so George took the catalog, you took and opened the box. George did not get to open the box. You got to open the box. That's it. You don't cater to the squishy feelings because what he's trying to do is dominate. So you're seeing him as weak. I'm seeing him as potentially dominating with a weakness. Okay, that's because mommy gets all concerned.

[Samantha]

Okay, Mommy.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Mommy wants to make the feelings better. So you explain to him, okay, your brother did not get the box. What do you think about that? And then he'll say, oh, that's it. Don't cater to the wimpy stuff because he's manipulating you.

[Samantha]

Okay, that's really encouraging to hear. Can I say one more thing?

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You can say two and a half more things.

[Samantha]

Okay, Okay, I remember. And I guess I think about this, and I always tend to think, oh, it's, it's trauma. And I try to be compassionate towards that. Even though he's seven. I remember when he was two years old and we met up with his foster mother, and I had two of my boys in a. I had two of my boys in a double stroller. And he realized he couldn't get in the double stroller with them. And he didn't communicate it with words. He just started crying silently to himself. And I always go back to that and feel like it's just the same thing. And I just want to make sure that I'm responding correctly now, whether that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Is a part of it or not. I mean, you didn't get him from birth. I think that's a problem because. Yes. In the first three years, a lot of what has settled down in the brain and the heart about feeling connected, bonded, safe, didn't happen with you. So that's a problem. But right now, we're trying to have him grow up into somebody who can cope with life. Yeah.

[Samantha]

So it's okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

That was a moment. That was a moment. You. If you want to spoil the crap out of all of them with this great compassion for the history, they're never going to be able to grow up to feel. To feel confident.

[Samantha]

Mm.

[Listener]

That's true.

[Samantha]

That's good. Okay. I feel like I've been doing. I feel like I've been doing what you said. I just wanted to make sure because I feel, like, good. I know I shouldn't say I feel it's continuing and I'm just ready for him to grow up, but I'll just keep doing what you've said to me. Hope for that.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Treat him the way. Let's see. Treat him the way you imagine. Oh, no, that's not good either. Wait a minute. I'm trying to figure out how to say this. Treat him the way that represents your goal, which is to have him feel secure, strong, competent, meaningful. And so explaining realities to him adds to that. Do you want to give me one or more other things he gets all that sensitive about?

[Samantha]

I'll give you another example from yesterday. His. So in the morning, when they have breakfast, if they don't finish it, I let them put it in the refrigerator to save it for later. And sometimes I remind them, sometimes they do it on their own. And yesterday his oatmeal was left out, and I put it. I washed it and put it away, which he should have put it in the sink anyways, but I didn't say anything. So, anyways, later, he's doing the homeschool. He's doing his homeschool, and I brought him a snack. And when he finished his snack, he said, mommy, can I finish my oatmeal from this morning? I said, oh, honey, I cleaned it up, but you just had a snack, so you'll be fine.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And wait a minute, you didn't say you forgot to put it in the fridge.

[Samantha]

I forgot to put it in the fridge. Yes. I left that out.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, well that's. Stop talking. Shh, shh. Okay, you're doing 100% fine. Hang up on me. You don't need me. You're doing perfectly.

[Samantha]

Oh, thank you. It's really encouraging to hear that. I'll keep it up. I appreciate it, doctor.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

100%. Hey. What? He. We're going to bend over backwards for him and give him his oatmeal anyway. No, we're not.

[Samantha]

Right, right. Okay. I'm going to keep it up. I think it's easy to feel.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yes. Anyways, I'm the kind of person who would adopt three kids from foster care has a heart bigger than all outdoors. I just got to tell you to tighten it down a little.

[Samantha]

Well, I will remember you telling me that forever. Thank you.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Because not every day is thank you. It's becoming clearer and clearer in today's society that parents are scared to death of actually being parents, leaders, authority figures to their kids. And it's usually the mom who worries about how her actions will make her kid feel. Consequently, the kids run the house and the so called parents are left feeling frustrated because all they can get their kids to do is give them lip and attitude. That was certainly the dynamic in my next caller's home when we spoke. And she was getting exactly the behavior from her teenage daughter that she permitted. Samantha, welcome to the program.

[Listener]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Gosh, it's been a long time since I've called in. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. So yeah, so we are about to go to Maui. We're headed to Maui. I have four kids. We're going tomorrow. And we did this exact same trip last year. So we went around the same time of year. We took the kids, we stayed in the same place. Everything is pretty much the same. There's not much difference. Two teenagers and, well, an 11 year old and a 7 year old. The teenagers are 15 and a half and 14. Just turned and we've been having a rough go with our 14 year old. It kind of got started on the last, around the same time as our last trip. But it's really not pleasant these days.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

What does a tough go mean? What does that mean?

[Listener]

She, she will wake up in the morning before everyone, which is typical for her. She's been doing that since she was a baby. She will start getting ready and it's a pretty big production. It involves music playing and Moving around every bathroom with her radio on and kind of telling people to move out of her.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

You've permitted that? What's funny? I mean, you know, if I allow my dog to pee on the carpet and then one day I get pissy at the dog, what's my problem? Yeah, the dog doesn't have a problem. I'm a lousy dog owner.

[Listener]

You're right. I've asked her to wear her ear pods or her earbuds.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Not ask. Not ask. You remove all these things?

[Listener]

Yeah, yeah. And it seems.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You remove all. Okay, I can't help you because you're not an adult parent.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And I can't make you an adult parent between today and tomorrow.

[Listener]

Okay, that's fair enough.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I can only tell you remove any objects and they do not make their way to Hawaii.

[Listener]

Okay, okay. Fair enough. I like that advice.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

It didn't ever dawn on you to do that? You. Your husband never sat there and said, let's just take the radio away.

[Listener]

I'm not sure if the radio is our problem with her, but it does definitely affect the general overtone for the home. And it. It's just because she's got the radio on. She's so much more pervasive and she's irritable and she's pushing everyone out of the way and it's like it's all her way or the highway.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And I raising. Well, you're going to have it on your vacation because you raised brat. Nothing's changed since last year. You two suck in parenting at this kid. I think you need to go to some parenting classes and figure out. I mean, I don't understand why you two didn't get control. You want to just tell me that? Why did you two never take control? Make there be consequences. Calm consequences. No yelling, no screaming, no threatening. Just if you wake up in the morning and we hear you before we're going to wake up, that's it for the weekend and friends and stuff like that. The way you earn your weekends is to be considerate of your family. That's all it takes.

[Listener]

Yes, and I know exactly the answer, and I'm the culprit. My husband has told me you don't stand strong against her and you give.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Why are you the culprit? Why are you raising a crappy human being? She's going to be hideous to other people all the way through her life because of you. Listen to me. She's going to have a bad life because of you. She thinks the world rotates around her. Yes, and how is that going to play with people outside of this family who are not going to tolerate it like you do?

[Listener]

You're right.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

But you knew this. But you know this. You are not stupid.

[Listener]

No.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

So why are you the culprit?

[Listener]

Because the thing. The thing that I want that I need to take, the thing that really I need to take away from her.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

I don't. I didn't ask you to take anything away from her. Okay, why are you the culprit? Tell the truth. Dig deeper.

[Listener]

Because I'm weak. I'm. I'm scared of losing her. I'm scared that she's going to hate me.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And I got news for you, woman. She completely disrespects you. If you laugh one more time, I'll hang up. This isn't fun.

[Listener]

Okay, I won't laugh. I won't laugh.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

We have a huge moral responsibility in how we raise our children, okay? Because we set them free into the world, to impact the world.

[Listener]

Yes.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

And she disrespects you completely. And your husband's a limp dick for allowing you to get away with it.

[Listener]

Hmm.

[Samantha]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Interesting.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Okay, from this moment on, as soon as you hang up, you're going to call your husband and say, I'm out of the mix. You discipline and I will shut up. Wow.

[Listener]

Okay. Yeah, I like it.

[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

Good. Good. I didn't say to take anything away. What? People make up stuff in their heads. I said earning. You want to earn this weekend? This is how you behave. You be considerate of your other family members or this weekend's going to be boring. No electronics, no friends. You earn the electronics, you earn the friends by being considerate of your family. It's not complicated, folks. Earning, earning, earning. I know that's not a popular concept in our culture, politically or otherwise, but earning is very important. All right, mom and dad, accept your place and enjoy it because your kids need both of you. It's beautiful, actually. And I'll be right back.

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Dr. Laura's deep dive Deep Dive podcast.

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Deeper.

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlesinger]

At your DSW store or dsw.com Dr. Laura's Deep Dive podcast As a parent, you can count on your kids to demonstrate bad behavior from time to time. But if you don't nip bad behavior in the bud, it will never stop. It takes effort to hold your kids accountable and make sure they earn their privileges, but that's how you get the behaviors you want from kids. Not by negotiating, bribing, arguing or trying to be your kid's buddy. Your kids are counting on you to be the leader. I'm here to help you, so give me a call at 1-800-DURO or go to drlaura.com to make an appointment to speak with me. Now go. Do the right thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars and be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook, Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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