Deep Dive: Just Do It – Later: The Problem With Procrastination

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura's Deep Dive – "Just Do It – Later: The Problem With Procrastination" Release Date: January 30, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

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Introduction to Procrastination

In this episode of Dr. Laura's Deep Dive, Dr. Laura Schlessinger tackles the pervasive issue of procrastination, a habit affecting approximately one in five individuals. Dr. Laura clarifies that procrastination is fundamentally a problem of self-regulation, not merely a lack of time management or poor planning.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [00:58]: "Procrastination is basically a problem of self-regulation. It's not a problem of time management, not a problem of planning."

Types of Procrastinators

Dr. Laura categorizes procrastinators into distinct types, each with unique motivations and behaviors:

1. The Thrill-Seeker: Enjoys the adrenaline rush of last-minute efforts.
2. The Avoider: Fears both failure and success, concerned about others' perceptions.
3. The Indecisive: Struggles with making decisions due to fear of consequences.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [01:30]: "Procrastinators have a higher level of alcohol consumption. Procrastinators have more physical ailments because they put themselves under a lot of stress."

Causes of Procrastination

Procrastination often stems from learned behaviors and deep-seated fears:

• Family Dynamics: Children pressured to be perfect may develop avoidance strategies.
• Rebellion: Some procrastinate as a form of passive-aggressive resistance.
• Fear of Failure: A dominant cause where individuals avoid tasks to escape potential failure.
• Perfectionism: The desire to perform flawlessly leads to task avoidance.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [02:30]: "Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. I'll do this tomorrow."

Effects of Procrastination

The consequences of procrastination are both psychological and physical:

• Increased Stress: Leading to higher alcohol consumption and physical ailments.
• Deceptive Behaviors: Continuous self-deception hampers personal growth.
• Lower Academic and Professional Performance: Delayed efforts result in subpar outcomes.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [03:15]: "Procrastinators would rather you saw them as sort of confused and having a problem than incapable."

Strategies to Overcome Procrastination

Dr. Laura offers practical advice to combat procrastination, emphasizing specificity and willpower:

1. Be Specific with Goals: Instead of vague intentions, outline concrete steps.

   Dr. Laura Schlessinger [04:00]: "Say, I'm going to outline the three main points of the report while I drink my morning coffee."

2. Preempt Temptations: Eliminate distractions like social media and television.

   Dr. Laura Schlessinger [05:00]: "Get rid of the distractions so you don't punctuate your work with those little detours."

3. Reward Systems: Set up rewards post-task completion to motivate progress.

   Dr. Laura Schlessinger [05:30]: "I worked on a reward system. The way I faced exams was to plan something that would happen after the test was over."

4. Prioritize Difficult Tasks: Tackle the most challenging tasks first to gain momentum.

   Dr. Laura Schlessinger [06:00]: "Always do the more difficult thing first and you get it out of the way."

5. Develop Grit: Strengthen willpower through consistent practice.

   Dr. Laura Schlessinger [06:30]: "Willpower is everything. It's your ability to self-regulate."

Listener Interactions and Resolutions

Caller Veronica: Overcoming Chronic Procrastination

Veronica, a chronic procrastinator aiming to become a nurse, seeks advice as her academic performance declines. Dr. Laura addresses her fear of failure and perfectionism, urging her to commit and take decisive action.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [12:10]: "If you're a procrastinator type, you can change, but it's going to be hard. It's going to be very difficult."

Veronica initially receives harsh feedback but later calls back with positive news:

Caller Veronica [18:02]: "I actually got accepted into a nursing program."

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [19:15]: "Well, I guess sometimes it's good that I'm pushy, huh?"

Caller Patricia: Breaking Through Educational Barriers

Patricia, a 51-year-old woman striving to complete her high school education, grapples with codependency and fear of failure. Dr. Laura emphasizes taking immediate action over self-analysis.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [25:07]: "Procrastination is what you earn by saying, I have to know why first."

Patricia is encouraged to stop overthinking and begin her studies, with Dr. Laura affirming her capability despite past challenges.

Caller Erin: Tackling Household Procrastination

Erin struggles with completing household chores efficiently. Dr. Laura advises creating structured plans and viewing chores as meaningful contributions to family well-being.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [32:39]: "So that means you took on the obligation of making that house a home."

She suggests Erin use a checklist to prioritize and complete tasks systematically.

Conclusion

Dr. Laura Schlessinger reinforces that overcoming procrastination requires discipline, specific planning, and the development of grit. By addressing underlying fears and implementing structured strategies, individuals can break free from procrastination and achieve their goals.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger [35:22]: "You just have to face some potential failures."

Key Takeaways

• Procrastination is a self-regulation issue, not just poor time management.
• Identifying the type of procrastinator you are can help in addressing specific behaviors.
• Concrete planning and eliminating distractions are essential strategies to overcome procrastination.
• Developing willpower and grit is crucial for long-term success.
• Immediate action and structured approaches can lead to significant personal achievements.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Laura Schlessinger [00:58]: "Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. I'll do this tomorrow."
• Dr. Laura Schlessinger [04:00]: "Say, I'm going to outline the three main points of the report while I drink my morning coffee."
• Dr. Laura Schlessinger [06:30]: "Willpower is everything. It's your ability to self-regulate."

This episode serves as a comprehensive guide for listeners struggling with procrastination, offering both theoretical insights and practical solutions to foster personal responsibility and accountability.

Transcript

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Laura's deep dive Podcast.

[Veronica]

I never procrastinate. Nope, nope, nope. But at least one out of five people admits that they are chronic procrastinators. And there are. And procrastination is basically a problem of self regulation. It's not a problem of time management, not a problem of planning. Procrastinators have no inability to estimate time. It has nothing to do. Procrastinators are not born that way either. No, they're learned. Sometimes whatever's going on in the family, kids have to be perfect. So they don't want to let their parents down. So they avoid something. Some people have a different attitude, and that is they're rebellious. It's sort of a screw you attitude. So they'll oh, of course I'll do that for you. It's kind of a passive aggressive thing. But they procrastinate because they really didn't want to do it in the first place. They just wanted to look nice. They get themselves, you know, those sort of the nice types. They get themselves jammed up, basically. Procrastinators would rather you saw them as sort of confused and having a problem than incapable. Okay? Procrastinators have a higher level of alcohol consumption. Procrastinators have more physical ailments because they put themselves under a lot of stress. Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. I'll do this tomorrow. Procrastinators actively look for distractions. There's more than one type of procrastinator. Some procrastinators just like the euphoric rush at the end, the excitement of trying to jam it all in. To me, that would be a nightmare. Just a total nightmare. The avoiders, they don't want to fail, they don't want to succeed. In any case, they're very concerned with what others think of them and would rather others think they're lazy than don't have the ability. Then there are the procrastinators who are just the people some say can't make a decision. I don't believe there's a can't. I believe there's a won't. Because if they make a decision, they have to act on it. And the acting on it has consequences that scare them. Now, if you're a procrastinator type, you can change, but it's going to be hard. It's going to be very difficult. Very difficult. So, for example, here are some little tips. If you say, okay, I'm going to do that in the morning, don't say, I'm going to do that in the morning. Say, I'm going to outline the three main points of the report while I drink my morning coffee, just before I look at the mail. It's very concrete. None of this vague stuff that some of you try to sell me when you call me and I go, this is vague. I know what you're talking about. Be specific. Preempt that which tempts you know, the things that tempt you. Television, social media, texting, immediate gratification, mood, reward. Nah, save that for when you're done. The way I faced exams in college and graduate school was all one technique. I would plan something that would happen after the test was over. After the test is over, you can go see that movie or go buy that cute top. I would set something up. Whatever it was, concretely set it up. So that meant for to get from here to there. I had to study and take the exam and then I would get that thing. So I worked on a reward system. The other thing is, you know when people say, do you want the good news or the bad news? Do you want the harder thing or the easier thing? Always do the most difficult thing first, hear the bad news first. Always do the more difficult thing first and you get it out of the way. Willpower has gotten such a poo poo with all the 12 step programs. I got to tell you, willpower is everything. It's everything ultimately. It's your ability to self regulate. It's your ability to make a decision and stick to it. It's your ability to suffer when it's uncomfortable and do it anyway. This is willpower. It takes grit. And there are people who will exercise grit. Nobody's born with grit. You practice grit and you develop grit just like any other muscle. Things can either become a habit or not. Good things can become a habit. Bad things can become a habit. Whatever it is, it's just your most familiar. Okay. Going to take a break? Yeah, well, maybe I can take it a little later. Maybe I could do it tomorrow. I'll be right back.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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[Veronica]

Deep Dive. You haven't yet developed your grit like my caller Veronica, whose chronic procrastination was destroying her dream of becoming a nurse. Take a listen, Veronica. Let's try it again. What can I help you with?

[Caller]

Okay, I have a problem with procrastination. When it comes.

[Veronica]

What is procrastination? What does that mean? What is procrastination?

[Caller]

I just. When it comes to school, I just leave. Like studying or just a project. I just wait until the very last minute. I try to make changes to where I.

[Veronica]

Are you getting good grades doing that?

[Caller]

I used to, but now they're starting to suffer.

[Veronica]

So you, in the beginning of procrastination, you would still get A's?

[Caller]

Yes. Like throughout high school I would still get A's. And yes.

[Veronica]

No, we're talking about nursing school. See in high school, depends on the high school. If you're pretty smart, you can get through high school doing very little work. When you start entering specialized studies, then it gets a little more competitive where they take the smarter of the smarters and then it's competition. So you can't get away with it as much because it's harder and it requires more work where high school didn't. Correct. So you're going to flunk out or not have your. First of all, if you're in nursing school and you're only doing your work at the last minute, I hope you flunk out. The last thing we need are nurses yet. Oh, I, I sorry.

[Caller]

That's My goal. Like, I finished all.

[Veronica]

Can I finish what I was going to say anyway, please?

[Caller]

Yes, I'm sorry.

[Veronica]

Good. Then I hope you flunk out of whatever you're in. Because if your attitude that you've had consistently through your life is to do things at the last minute, whatever the psychological background is, and we can go into that in a moment, then you're not going to be equipped to be a good nurse because you won't have taken the time to really study all the information. You'll just be passing the tests.

[Caller]

Yes, I understand that. That's. That's what I'm trying to change. Like, I know being a nurse is dealing with people's lives, and I do not want to just memorize things for anything.

[Veronica]

I think that scares you way too much.

[Caller]

That. That it's dealing with people's lives.

[Veronica]

Yeah, I think that may be just scaring you way too much. I mean, I deal with people's lives, but not life and death. You're a nurse. You'll be dealing with life and death. Maybe that scares you too much. There is no major cure. I'm sorry, what did you just say? I didn't hear it.

[Caller]

Is there anything I could do to change that? Or.

[Veronica]

Put your ass in a chair and study so that the chances are you won't kill somebody. There's no miracle here. It's like people say, I'm fat, eat less. Oh, and they don't exercise more. Yeah, I know that. And they don't. I have to study and put in the hours that are boring and annoying and difficult. I'll wait till the last minute and see if I can pull it off. And there's all kinds of background about procrastination, fear of failure, having to be a perfectionist. We can go and spend a lot of time on all of that if you'd like. But the bottom line is going to be that you're 40 years old. If at this point you cannot discipline yourself, then I suggest you do something different that doesn't challenge you this much. Seriously, it's not an insult. Find something else to do with your life that doesn't challenge you this much because you can't rise to the occasion. So what do you think you could do that isn't this challenging, that you could just more just sort of slide through. Tell me what that might be.

[Caller]

Well, I think I could pretty much do anything. I just want to.

[Veronica]

No, nobody can do anything that helps. I can't. And I have an extremely high IQ and I can't do anything. Nobody can do anything. There's a little narcissism there around the edges right there. I just heard it's not true, but that's very interesting. I think I can do anything if I apply myself.

[Caller]

I think anybody could do anything. But the problem is I'm not applying.

[Veronica]

That's nonsense. That's nonsense and you just gave it all away. You don't want to fail because what you said is irrational. And you're not irrational. So the irrationality gave away the punchline, which is you're afraid to fail because you know damn right you can't do anything. You can't do everything. Nobody can. No matter how hard I applied myself, I never could have become a physicist.

[Caller]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Veronica]

My brain doesn't work that way. My brain makes associations. That's why I'm good at what I do here. But I can't do anything. And you're afraid to fail, so you fail by not doing the work. That way we know that you didn't fail because you couldn't. You failed because you didn't.

[Caller]

Okay, that's very insightful.

[Veronica]

So I suggest you pick something else to do. Something where the fear of failure does not suck the life out of you. And the first thing you need to do, frankly, is to humble yourself. You can't do anything that you put your mind to. Not true. And that's your safety, defensive mechanism to hide the fact that you're scared to fail. So if you don't really do it in the first place, and we call it procrastination, then you never failed. That's what you're doing. And I don't know if you can flip that around. I just think maybe you should take something that's not as challenging and enjoy your life. You're not going to live forever, you know.

[Caller]

Okay. I thank you for your insight. That's.

[Veronica]

Couldn't be an astronaut either. I think that was a lot of math and physics, too. It's funny how things work. When you get clarity on a problem, when you understand the motivation behind your behaviors, you're instantly better able to change. And that's what Veronica said when she called me back months later with this update. Vero, welcome to the program.

[Caller]

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call again.

[Veronica]

Oh, what did we talk about? The first time?

[Caller]

The first time I called your body a year and a half ago with a problem with procrastination. I was procrastinating in school and I was trying to get into a nursing program.

[Veronica]

Yes, I remember. Go ahead.

[Caller]

Yeah. So I remember I was stuck in a loop because I knew that my fear was the fear of failure, but the words that you said to me were seared in my brain. And you told me you rather fail because you didn't, then because you couldn't. And that, like, completely clicked in my head. And I'm happy to call you now to tell you that I actually got accepted into a nursing program.

[Veronica]

Whoa.

[Caller]

Yes. So right now, because of COVID it's actually very limited. So I was actually one of 30 students.

[Veronica]

Oh, this is wonderful. I'm so proud of you. And, you know, I appreciate knowing what the trigger was.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Veronica]

So I remember our phone call. Thank you.

[Caller]

Yeah. So I wanted to thank you and just give you a little update. I'm working as a CNA now in the COVID unit. I love what I do, and I know that I was meant to do this, and you just gave me the little push I needed to stop being afraid.

[Veronica]

Well, I guess sometimes it's good that I'm pushy, huh?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Veronica]

Yeah. Thank you so much for calling, sweetheart, and congratulations. And boy, we need you. We need good nurses. So wonderful. All right, it's time to take a break. And I'm disciplined about breaks. No, I'm not. And I usually get away with it, but I'll be right back.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

Dr. Laura's deep dive Deep Dive podcast.

[Veronica]

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Laura's deep dive podcast.

[Veronica]

Deep understanding what was behind her poor study habits helped Veronica. However, sometimes analyzing the situation, therapizing the situation, trying to understand yourself is in itself, if you go on forever with it, a form of procrastination, irony. Analyzing something to death is an escape and a mistake, as I explained to Patricia when we spoke. Patricia, welcome to the program.

[Patricia]

Hi there. Hi there, Dr. Laura. I have a question. I'm trying to get an answer to a deep root problem. I read your book like three years ago, bad Childhood, Good Life. And that book inspired me a great deal to go back and look into my childhood and see some of the bad things that I witnessed as a child. The question is, I am 51 years old, never finished high school, but find myself a very intelligent woman, have taken lots of classes, attend seminars. I have two sons, one 30 that's graduated college and one 14 that's in ninth grade, that is now enroll in all honors classes. But I am wanting to be a just. I'm wanting to do something for myself and say my desire is to go back to school, finish high school, because that's a goal. I really want that to do that. But something is blocking me. I can kind of see myself, you know, earning a college degree. I feel that I have the ability to do it, but there is a blockage somewhere and I can't figure out where that is.

[Veronica]

How do you know there is one?

[Patricia]

Because I have made several attempts to do it. I did come to find out that codependency was my problem because I was married for almost 30 years to a professional man, that what does codependency have.

[Veronica]

To do with anything? And what does that mean?

[Patricia]

I felt that I was codependent. The reason why I say that is because when I started codependent, you notice.

[Veronica]

That word was not in my book.

[Patricia]

No, not that particular word, no. But later, this is what I came to see that because of. Based on the information I got from your book, the Unhappy Childhood, my mother never completed high school, nor did my father. And although my life has taken a total different turn from my parents, because as far as I would say, although I haven't completed high school, I would.

[Veronica]

Find that you're jumping around, and I need you to start all over again and try to have a straight line, line of thinking. Okay?

[Patricia]

Okay.

[Veronica]

You would like to get your ged, right? So when you sign up for your ged, at what point do you let it drop?

[Patricia]

I would say I never entered a class, although I've purchased a book and I've also gotten online. And then it will be all these things that will come up that I would find it seemed like there would be, like, a lot of distractions, me raising my son or me volunteer with different organizations, and then I would just kind of put it off. And I'm not sure why that is.

[Veronica]

Why do you have to know why? Seriously? Now, that is not a frivolous question. There's no reason in the world that you have to know why. All you need to know is what you must do. Procrastination is what you earn by saying, I have to know why first.

[Patricia]

Okay.

[Veronica]

You don't have a high school diploma. You're an older woman. You're gonna feel like you look stupid. You're not sure you can necessarily do the work. Even though you perceive yourself as smart, you're avoiding failure. There's nothing new here. It's called being human.

[Patricia]

Okay?

[Veronica]

You're just gonna have to deal with all of that like the rest of us have had to deal with challenges that scared us. You do it. And as the challenges come up, you face them. You're having trouble with a course. You talk to the teacher. You get one of the other kids in the class to help you along with some of it. You just simply do it. Okay, you're procrastinating because you're afraid of failure. That's all. It's not complicated. It's human.

[Patricia]

Oh, okay, so that's not something I should, like, focus in to say. Maybe I acquired a bit of. Because going through counseling.

[Veronica]

No, if you start, everything you will do from this point on, other than go to school, is procrastination because you're afraid of failure. You want to go analyze, read the book again. You want to go analyze, see a therapist. You want to go, analyze, decide. Until you have an understanding on some philosophical level, you're not going to do. This is all procrastination.

[Patricia]

Okay.

[Veronica]

And that's all it is.

[Patricia]

Okay. And my quick question just to answer and so you. What would be your response? Procrastination is actually just fear of doing something. Fear of failure. Is that what it is?

[Veronica]

Exactly.

[Patricia]

All right.

[Veronica]

That's it. You're going to have to face some potential failures.

[Patricia]

Uh huh.

[Veronica]

Because some classes you won't do well in.

[Patricia]

Right.

[Veronica]

Smart as you are.

[Patricia]

So it won't. It won't have anything to do with. As far as my fear, I need to go in a little bit deep. Right.

[Veronica]

Let's just procrastinate again. You're just trying to find a way to do that. Let's just keep. I really don't have to analyze this. I gave you the answer. You don't want it because that means now you have to go to class.

[Patricia]

Right. So I'll take the answer and I'll go to class.

[Veronica]

Thank you so much.

[Patricia]

Have a good day.

[Veronica]

Let me know when you graduate. I'll make you a graduation present.

[Patricia]

I will. Thank you.

[Veronica]

Seriously. I'm not kidding.

[Patricia]

I will. I will.

[Veronica]

All right.

[Patricia]

You know, thank you. Bye. Bye.

[Veronica]

You're welcome. You're procrastinating because you're afraid of failure. It's not complicated, but it is human. Even a self starter like me can have moments of putting things off. I do it on occasion. And when I do, I ask myself, why are you putting this off? For me, it's typically when something looks overwhelming. So one of the first things I do is completely clean and organize my workspace. It's a ritual that makes the task at hand easier to confront. Then I plan out the steps and decide, okay, I'm going to do one through three today. Sometimes I can even end up doing more and then say, okay, I'm tired now. If I go on, I'm going to get sloppy. That's not procrastination, by the way. That's making an intelligent decision. So one strategy is to create yourself a little workspace. Maybe it's a closet that you turn into a special environment, the corner of an attic, whatever it is that makes you feel relaxed. I like to get a specific timeline in my head and I get rid of distractions, leave it all out. Emails, phones. Get rid of the distractions so you don't punctuate your work with those little detours. Like my listener Erin was doing when she called me for a better strategy. Erin welcome to the program.

[Erin]

Hi, Dr. Laura.

[Veronica]

Hi.

[Erin]

I have two kids, three year old and five year old, and I'm very active with them. So I don't really feel like I'm a very lazy person when it comes to parenting and being a good mother. But I need your help desperately to get motivated to help around the house. I feel very lazy when it comes to getting things done in my house. I'll start something and then stop, start, stop. And I do everything by piecemeal, it seems like. And I have examples that I've just done today and I'm just sick of this. So I just thought I need to call you so I can get some help today. I'm folding laundry and then I just stop in the middle of that and then I start doing dishes and then I stop in the middle of that to write a bill and then I stop doing my bills, remembering, oh, I have a thank you note I have to do. So I do my thank you notes, but by the end of the day I'll have 10 unfinished tasks. And then it seems like I draw out these chores for days, you know, like three days it takes me to do laundry. It seemed.

[Veronica]

Have you ever been more disciplined, organized?

[Erin]

Well, I would say maybe in the last year I've gotten worse.

[Veronica]

No, but that wasn't my question. Have you ever been disciplined and organized?

[Erin]

Discipline, yes, but organized, no. I've never really been an organized person except whenever I used to be a teacher. In my classroom I was a very organized person, but in my home.

[Veronica]

Oh, say you had a lesson plan.

[Erin]

Yes.

[Veronica]

Okay, get a piece of paper. We're going to do a lesson plan.

[Erin]

Okay, I have paper and pen right here. Okay, I'm working on this right now.

[Veronica]

What I used to do when I was in college. It's going to sound very compulsive, but it worked. Every day I had a 3 by 5 card with every hour. And I'm in class, I'm studying, I'm doing this, I'm in gym, whatever it was, I ate dinner. Whatever it was, it was on that card. And I checked off one after another like a robot until I got through the day. Obviously I was very successful at this. I was on dean's list every semester. And in high school I was less than stellar because I was bored. But anyway, in college I organized myself. So this is what you're going to do. You're going to. Now we have two kids, that puts an extra dimension in there, but you're going to make a list of the things that will be Done by the end of the day. And you're going to give a time, approximate time when they're going to be done. And they have to be done before you can go on to the next one.

[Erin]

Okay?

[Veronica]

So if you haven't finished folding the laundry, you are not allowed to touch the dishes. Not permitted to touch the dishes.

[Erin]

And I promised myself I'm not going to move until this basket is folded. Yet I move. I do.

[Veronica]

No, but now you have a lesson plan.

[Erin]

Okay.

[Veronica]

Basically, you don't want to do any of this crap.

[Erin]

I don't. I know.

[Veronica]

No. But it has to be done, and you will feel better when it's done. Like, I get up in the morning, and I don't really want to put myself through the rigorous exercising I'm going to be put through. But when it's done, I feel great all day knowing I did it. The famous writer said, the joy in writing is having written. So the joy in taking care of your house is that at the end of the day, it's done. And then you look at that and it makes you feel more comfortable. I know you don't really want to do it, but that's not how you're raising your kids right now.

[Erin]

I mean, do you consider this being lazy?

[Veronica]

No, I consider this being passive aggressive.

[Erin]

Oh. Oh, wow.

[Veronica]

You don't want to do it. So you don't. But your excuse is that you have something else that has to be done, and that's what passive aggressive means. Instead of just saying, I just don't want to do this crap, you're saying, oh, I want to do this. But, gee, this other thing came up.

[Erin]

Yes.

[Veronica]

So that's never owning the fact that you don't want to do it. The thing is, it has to be done every day, and so it gets wearisome and you're annoyed with it, and I understand all that. But you took on the obligation of making that house a home.

[Erin]

It is. Yeah.

[Veronica]

And these are some of the things that make a house a home. When everything is cleaned and neat and put away, it makes everybody feel better. And it makes your husband feel that you care about him enough to put in the effort. Because if he did at work, what you're doing at home, you guys would be living in the car. So you owe him.

[Erin]

Yes, I really do. He does. A lot.

[Veronica]

Yeah. And this is your gift back. So instead of looking at it as tedious, annoying nonsense, look at it as your gift back.

[Erin]

Okay, I will.

[Veronica]

This part of the gift is done. Check it off. This part of the Gift is done. So every day you can put them in different orders.

[Erin]

Okay. I have a big whiteboard in my kitchen, and I could just make a checklist on that and.

[Veronica]

Right.

[Erin]

Okay.

[Veronica]

And then when he comes home tonight, you point to the board and say, I got all those things done because I appreciate what you do for us. Repeat that sentence.

[Erin]

I got all of these things done because I appreciate what you do for us.

[Veronica]

That's right.

[Erin]

Very good. Yes.

[Veronica]

And how do you think he's going to look at you then?

[Erin]

He will be happy.

[Veronica]

Yes, but how will he look at you then? How will he see you?

[Erin]

He'll look at me with admiration.

[Veronica]

Yes. Wouldn't you like that? That's right.

[Erin]

I really would.

[Veronica]

That's right. Well, go get it, woman.

[Erin]

Thank you. Thank you so much, Dr. Laura. I really appreciate it.

[Veronica]

You're welcome. Having a hard time staying focused? Well, there's no key to being focused. Get enough sleep. Set a certain time that you're gonna do it or die. Set up a reasonable schedule. Honor it. No magic. You just make decisions that you're doing it, whether you feel like it or not, whether you're highly motivated to do it or not. That's what I do. And then I look myself in the mirror and say, good girl. And of course, my dog Lily thinks I'm talking to her. So a lot of you today have listened to everything I've said. You even took notes. And now you're going to ignore it? Yep. Because that's what procrastinators do. But some of you heard yourself in this deep dive and understand what you need to do to change. Good for you. Now go do the right thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

[Dr. Laura Schlessinger]

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