Doing Something Opposite of What You Thought You Would Be Doing

Summary

The Dr. Laura Podcast
Episode Title: Doing Something Opposite of What You Thought You Would Be Doing
Date: February 25, 2026
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Podcast Summary Prepared by Assistant

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the existential anxiety many young people feel as they finish college, confronting uncertainty about the future and the overwhelming pressure to make life-altering decisions. Dr. Laura responds to a heartfelt email from a 22-year-old listener who feels adrift and fears she will "amount to nothing." Drawing from her own life experience, Dr. Laura offers guidance—urging young adults to step boldly outside their comfort zones and try something radically different from their expectations when feeling lost or uncertain.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener’s Email: The Crisis of Uncertainty (01:28)

• Listener’s Dilemma: A 22-year-old undergraduate, close to finishing her degree, writes in expressing feelings of hollowness, anxiety about missing out, and a general sense of being "stuck."

  • "Is it possible people are just not made for better things? …I feel interested in so many things that I fear I will miss out if I make a choice."
  • She is concerned about feeling “behind” her peers and wishes for a more linear, certain path.

• Dr. Laura’s Analysis:

  • Quickly identifies the symptoms of depression in the letter.
  • Notes that the anxiety of missing out is profound, but intrinsic to making life choices: “That is a profound amount of anxiety—missing out, as though we can actually not have that feeling… You always leave something behind.” (03:00)
  • Offers empathy: “This could be autobiographical.” (04:00)

2. Dr. Laura’s Personal Story: A Summer in Germany (04:15 and 08:06)

• Autobiographical Reflection:

  • As a college student feeling similarly uncertain, Dr. Laura unexpectedly secured a research position in Germany over a summer.
  • She recounts how she learned independence, self-reliance, and adaptability—traits she believes are crucial for managing adult anxieties.
  • “I went to a different country and then on weekends, I had what they called…a Eurail pass…So on the weekends I would take these jaunts by myself…never had I done anything like this.” (08:06)
  • She describes initially being introverted and "always pretty much a science geek," highlighting how transformative the experience was.

• Lessons Learned:

  • Each day presented new challenges: navigating a foreign culture, managing daily life, and confronting both “awkward moments, happy moments, scary moments."
  • “To become totally independent, any day was up to me making the right choices, learning how to go to the grocery store…because things closed down at 4, 4 or 5. I mean, I learned to get along all by myself.” (08:20)

3. Cultural and Social Context (09:50)

• Rites of Passage in Other Cultures:
  • Draws parallels with the Mormon mission tradition and national service requirements in other countries, noting that in some cultures, time away from home and comfort is built into adulthood.
  • “At a certain age, they expect you to go off for a year or two…the notion is helping people and sort of learning about life and yourself.” (09:50)
  • Comments on the oddity of now calling others ‘young peopleʼ—sign of her own life progression.

4. Practical Advice for the Lost and Hopeless (10:30)

• Rejecting Common Pitfalls:

  • Directly addresses those in their 20s: “You feel like this—lost, hopeless, overwhelmed, not having any idea what to do with your life. So instead of the drugs and the alcohol and the stupid acting out, go somewhere very different.” (10:30)

• Advocating Radical Change:

  • Encourages listeners to do something absolutely different—take a job or adventure far outside previous expectations:
    • “Go work on a fishing boat when you know nothing about fish. I don't care what it is."
    • “I was in a cancer research lab. They worked on mice…I just did what I was supposed to...But what an experience. Totally out of the norm."
  • Emphasizes the value of learning to make decisions, tolerate disappointment, and confront frustration and fear.

• Parental Disapproval is Not a Disqualifier:

  • "I don't care if your parents think it's a bad idea. Do it anyway." (11:40)
  • Shares her own university paid-for trip: “Mine was paid for by the university in Frankfurt. They paid for the plane. They paid for me to live in some really modest one room thingy and a little stipend so I could eat.” (11:50)

• Summary Guidance:

  • “Do something completely the opposite of anything you thought you’d be doing.” (12:19)
  • Offers her contact number for further advice: 1-800-375-2872.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On anxiety and choices:
  "That is a profound amount of anxiety—missing out, as though we can actually not have that feeling… you always leave something behind." (03:00) – Dr. Laura

• Experiencing independence:
  "Never had I done anything like this, not in high school. I was always pretty introverted science geek. So this was way out in left field for me… I learned to get along all by myself." (08:08–08:28) – Dr. Laura

• Essential advice:
  "Instead of the drugs and the alcohol and the stupid acting out, go somewhere very different. Go work on a fishing boat when you know nothing about fish. I don't care what it is." (10:32) – Dr. Laura

• On facing discomfort:
  "Get out of dodge and go learn that. I don't care if your parents think it’s a bad idea. Do it anyway." (11:40) – Dr. Laura

• Summary recommendation:
  "Do something completely the opposite of anything you thought you’d be doing." (12:19) – Dr. Laura

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Important Timestamps

• 01:28: Listener’s letter about post-college anxiety
• 03:00: Dr. Laura reflects on the anxiety of making choices and “missing out”
• 04:15–08:28: Dr. Laura shares her transformative Germany experience
• 09:50: Cultural context—rites of passage and self-discovery
• 10:30: Concrete advice: get out of your comfort zone, try something radically different
• 11:40: Ignore parental disapproval and embrace unique opportunities
• 12:19: Dr. Laura’s concise summary recommendation

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Tone and Takeaways

Dr. Laura’s tone is direct, empathetic, and pragmatic. She acknowledges the difficult emotions facing young adults but urges decisive, bold action as the antidote. Her advice is clear: when life feels stagnant or hopeless, seek out an adventure or opportunity that is entirely outside your expected path—this is where real growth and confidence are forged.

For listeners feeling lost: This episode offers both validation and a powerful call to action—change your scenery, do the unexpected, and in doing so, discover capacities within yourself you never knew you had.

Transcript

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[Guest Speaker/Personal Storyteller]

I wanted it to do this quickie and this is a sad state for our young people in their early 20s. This is a sad state to me. This is an example of what's going on out there. There's a hopelessness I didn't have when I was thinking of finishing college. It was very clear. There are 10 different directions I could go in whatever was in a world like it is today. So she writes from Canada. Like most viewers, listening to your show has been a great source of wisdom. However, I do have a question. Is it possible people are just not made for better things? This is a depressed young lady. I don't even need to read on. She's depressed. I did forward this to Dan, the hopes that we could bring her on the air. I'm 22, about to have finished my undergraduate degree, and I feel hollow about my future and current situation. I'm becoming tired of school despite being close, and I feel interested in so many things that I fear I will miss out if I make a choice. That is profound amount of anxiety missing out, as though we can actually not have that feeling when we make choices, you always leave something behind. That's a lot of anxiety. I do not want to amount to nothing. But being stuck in between is causing time to pass faster than I can blink. What should I do or should not do? I wish for linearity and maybe feeling less behind than peers. Okay, so I finished my second year of college and I felt something like this. I felt this, this could be autobiographical. My suggestion for all of you at a time like this, because it's a crisis and it's crucial that you do something. I mean, you have to put one foot in the front of the other. No matter what direction you're going in, you still have to move forward to go in some direction. So what I did. And quite frankly, I don't remember how I first got connected. I wish I could tell you that, but honestly it's a hundred years from now, it's like 60 years and I just don't remember. But I was connected to a research lab in Germany, Frankfurt am Main, And for a whole summer I worked in a lab in Germany in a bio lab. And it was an interesting experience on many, many, many, many levels. I spoke pretty good German at the time, can't do it now, but I spoke pretty good German at the time, could understand what was going on and made myself heard understood.

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[Guest Speaker/Personal Storyteller]

But I just got off the whole treadmill and did something entirely different. I went to a different country and then on the weekends I had what they called, I don't know if they still have a Eurail pass where you pay for a Eurail pass and then you can use it anytime to go anywhere. So on the weekends I would take these jaunts by myself. Mind you, never had I done anything like this, not in high school. I was always pretty introverted science geek. So this was way out in left field for me. To become totally independent any day was up to me making the right choices, learning how to go to the grocery store, learning what the hours were in Germany that you could actually go to grocery stores because things closed down at 4, 4 or 5. I mean, I learned to get along all by myself. And there were good moments and bad moments, awkward moments, happy moments, scary moments. I even went to the how concentration camp. So my recommendation for young people. And you see, if you're a Mormon, this sort of just comes with the

[Podcast Host/Radio Host]

territory

[Guest Speaker/Personal Storyteller]

because at a certain age they expect you to go off for a year or two. And the notion is helping people and sort of learning about life and yourself. So that's kind of built. In some countries, you have to immediately go into the military, male or female. So for you young people who are listening can't Believe I'm at an age where I call people young people. That is so weird.

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Okay, so you young people in your

[Guest Speaker/Personal Storyteller]

20s, you feel like this. Lost, hopeless, overwhelmed, not having any idea what to do with your life. So instead of the drugs and the alcohol and the stupid acting out, go somewhere very different. Go work on a fishing boat when you know nothing about fish. I don't care what it is. I was in a cancer research lab. They worked on mice. I can't tell you that. I just did what I was supposed to. It was like I had a job there, like a technician. That was it. I just did what I was told to do. And that was great. But what an experience. Totally out of the norm. Gets your head screwed on straight. So when you come back to your world, you're not so overwhelmed by it. You've already learned to make decisions and to tolerate disappointment and frustration and fears. Get out of dodge and go learn that. I don't care if your parents think it's a bad idea. Do it anyway. Mine was paid for by the university in Frankfurt. They paid for the plane. They paid for me to live in some really modest one room thingy and a little stipend so I could eat. So my answer is, get out of town. Do something completely the opposite of anything you thought you'd be doing. My number, 1-800-375-2872.

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