Getting Sober Hasn't Solved My Problems - The Dr. Laura Podcast

Summary3 min read

Podcast Summary: "Getting Sober Hasn't Solved My Problems"

Podcast: Dr. Laura Call of the Day
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Release Date: May 30, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of "Dr. Laura Call of the Day," Shelby reaches out to Dr. Laura seeking guidance on navigating her career decisions post-sobriety. This conversation delves into the challenges of maintaining sobriety while making significant life choices, emphasizing patience and self-compassion.

Caller’s Background and Struggles

Timestamp [00:19]: Shelby introduces herself as a 27-year-old who has recently committed to sobriety after seven years of heavy drinking. Having been sober for almost 80 days, Shelby attended a rehab facility and has been participating in AA meetings since her recovery journey began.

Key Points:

Recent Sobriety: Shelby has maintained sobriety for nearly three months.
Career Uncertainty: Despite her efforts to stabilize her life post-rehab, Shelby feels uncertain about her career path, particularly contemplating a switch from sales—a field she has been in since college.
Prioritizing Sobriety: Her primary focus is on maintaining her sobriety and personal well-being, leading to hesitancy in making swift career decisions.

Dr. Laura’s Analysis and Insights

Timestamp [01:10]: Dr. Laura inquires about Shelby’s treatment details, prompting Shelby to confirm her participation in AA meetings alongside rehab.

Key Observations:

Early Sobriety Phase: Dr. Laura emphasizes that 80 days is a significant period but acknowledges that substantial personal growth and clarity often require more time. She states, “You're not going to make up in 80 days” ([02:29]).
Impact of Long-Term Addiction: Highlighting the seven years of heavy drinking, Dr. Laura explains that prolonged substance abuse hampers personal development and maturity, necessitating a period of rehabilitation and self-discovery.
Managing Expectations: She cautions against the expectation that sobriety will instantly resolve all personal and professional challenges. Dr. Laura notes, “You expect that everything's clear and everything's solved. No. Now the hard work happens” ([05:13]).

Advice and Recommendations

Timestamp [02:09] & [04:11]: Dr. Laura advises Shelby to be patient with herself and to lower her expectations regarding immediate clarity in her post-sobriety life.

Key Recommendations:

Patience and Time: Dr. Laura underscores the importance of giving oneself ample time to adjust and grow without rushing into major life decisions.
Focus on Stability: She advises Shelby to focus on maintaining her current stability in sobriety before contemplating significant changes like a career switch. “Making decisions now about relationships or work is probably not the best idea right now” ([02:37]).
Continued Support: Emphasizing the necessity of ongoing support, Dr. Laura encourages Shelby to continue attending AA meetings, stating that the community within AA understands the brutal phase of early sobriety.
Practical Exercises: Towards the end of the call, Dr. Laura suggests a practical step for Shelby: “I'd like you to go to an exercise place and work out only for 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Not a minute more” ([05:11]). This exercise is intended to help Shelby develop discipline and build healthy routines without overwhelming herself.

Notable Quotes

On Patience in Sobriety:
“You're not going to make up in 80 days.” ([02:31] Avery Timestamp)
On Managing Expectations:
“You expect that everything's clear and everything's solved. No. Now the hard work happens.” ([05:13])
On Continued Effort:
“You did a lot of work to get sober. Don't blow it now by over stressing your circuitry.” ([04:21])
Practical Advice on Routine Building:
“I'd like you to go to an exercise place and work out only for 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Not a minute more.” ([05:11])

Conclusion

Dr. Laura provides Shelby with compassionate yet straightforward advice, highlighting the importance of patience, continued support, and manageable steps in maintaining sobriety while addressing life’s challenges. The conversation underscores that sobriety is a continuous journey requiring time, self-understanding, and structured support systems.

This episode serves as a valuable resource for individuals grappling with similar struggles, offering practical advice and reinforcing the significance of patience and support in the path to recovery and personal growth.

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Transcript33 lines

[00:00]
Dr. Laura
Thanks for listening to my Call of the Day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5pm Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Shelby, welcome to the program. Hi. Hi. What can I do for you?
[00:20]
Shelby
So I have. It's. It's kind of a. I have been really struggling with a career decision. I'm 27 and I recently made the decision to get sober. I was a very heavy drinker. I've been sober for almost 80 days and I went to a rehab facility to do that. And I was. I was really hoping for some clarity when I got back and when I had some sobriety under my belt with my job and was feeling like this is the right career. And I. I still don't have that. And I've been thinking about switching careers, but I'm really lost because I've done sales for since I got out of college and I have no idea what else to do. But I'm trying to prioritize my sobriety and myself, so I'm just trying to kind of work through that.
[01:11]
Dr. Laura
Okay. Did you. Where you were getting treatment? What did they suggest?
[01:17]
Shelby
I went to a rehab.
[01:19]
Dr. Laura
Okay, Shelby, I didn't ask the question yet. Hold on, woman. Okay. Did you ever spend any time with AA in addition?
[01:30]
Shelby
Yes. I've been going to AA meetings since.
[01:33]
Dr. Laura
Okay, and what do they. Woohoo. Calm down. You are seriously hyper.
[01:40]
Shelby
Sorry.
[01:41]
Dr. Laura
Calm down. That's very important. Even when you started to speak, I know people get a little nervous, but I think that's probably more of an indication of your style right now. You sedated yourself for a long time. You're only clean and sober for 80 days. That's nice, but not huge in the space of your life. So there are a couple of things to understand. One is all the time you were drinking, you were not maturing.
[02:10]
Shelby
Right.
[02:13]
Dr. Laura
It's makeup time now, and that takes time. How many years were you drinking?
[02:29]
Shelby
Seven. About seven years.
[02:31]
Dr. Laura
Well, seven years, dear. You're not going to make up in 80 days.
[02:36]
Shelby
You're right.
[02:37]
Dr. Laura
So making decisions now about relationships or work is probably not the best idea right now. It's probably good for the security you have in knowing what you're doing, knowing how to do it, and being able to support yourself right now. So right now, making decisions, thinking you were going to get out of rehab and suddenly the entire world was going to become clear to you, this is the time a lot of people start drinking again because they have this expectation that this wonderful clarity is going to happen. And it doesn't. And it's upsetting and people go back to drink.
[03:15]
Shelby
Yeah.
[03:17]
Dr. Laura
So.
[03:18]
Shelby
Yeah. And I.
[03:18]
Dr. Laura
The first thing. First thing I'm asking you to do is understand that you've got more than a handful of years to catch up on.
[03:27]
Shelby
Right.
[03:30]
Dr. Laura
You're going to have to be very patient with yourself and cut down your expectations of how marvelous sobriety was going to instantly be.
[03:40]
Shelby
Yeah. I genuinely thought when I came out of this, I guess, that my problems would be gone and that I would want to go to the gym, that I would be clear. And I have the same problem since I got back. And I guess I've just been trying to make quick decisions and that's not the way to do it. So it probably. I didn't even think about it that way, that right now I do wake up and at least I know what I'm doing. I know who I'm working with. And that sense of security is probably a good thing for me in early sobriety.
[04:12]
Dr. Laura
Right. Give yourself the time it takes or you're going to mess it up.
[04:18]
Shelby
Right. Yeah.
[04:21]
Dr. Laura
You did a lot of work to get sober. Don't blow it now by over stressing your circuitry.
[04:31]
Shelby
Okay. Thank you. That's actually really helpful.
[04:36]
Dr. Laura
Good. Call me anytime. In this whole progress, in all this transition you're going to make, it's not going to be easy. You're going to need support. And that's why I hope you continue to go to aa because just about everybody in there knows what this phase is like and it can be brutal.
[04:58]
Shelby
Yeah. Not easy.
[05:00]
Dr. Laura
No. Takes a lot of guts, which you clearly have. So let's just be a little more understanding about yourself and toward yourself.
[05:10]
Shelby
Thank you so much. Thank you, Dr. Hoy.
[05:14]
Dr. Laura
All right then I'd like you to go to a exercise place and work out only for 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Not a minute more. Walk in, do 20 minutes of whatever the hell you see to do. Pick up a ball and bounce it for all I care. Just 20 minutes. No more than that until you call me back. I can do that until you call me back. Then we'll assess. Okay. I'm very happy to help you with this transition.
[05:43]
Shelby
Yeah. Thank you so much.
[05:47]
Dr. Laura
You're welcome. Takes a lot of guts to get clean and sober. It's just that as she. So beautifully put. You expect that everything's clear and everything's solved. No. Now the hard work happens and that's why support is necessary at a time like this. I admire people who make this effort. My number 1-800-375-2872. You're just a click away from some terrific deals being offered by companies that get the Dr. Laura stamp of approval. Visit DrLaura.com, click on sponsors to take advantage of the special Discounts available to Dr. Laura listeners like you.