Podcast Summary: Dr. Laura Call of the Day – "How Can I Light My Wife's Fire?"
Release Date: June 20, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Platform: SiriusXM Triumph 111
Introduction
In this episode of Dr. Laura Call of the Day, Dr. Laura Schlessinger addresses a heartfelt concern from a devoted husband seeking advice on reigniting intimacy with his wife amidst the challenges of perimenopause. The discussion delves into the emotional and physical impacts of hormonal changes on marital relationships and offers practical strategies to foster connection and intimacy.
Caller’s Dilemma: Navigating Intimacy During Perimenopause
Caller’s Background:
- Marital Status: Happily married for 22 years
- Children: Three, all doing well
- Age: 48
- Issue: Wife’s onset of perimenopause affecting their intimate relationship
Key Points Discussed:
-
Impact of Perimenopause:
- Physical Symptoms: Hot flashes, restless sleep, skin irritation
- Emotional Changes: Increased impatience, decreased interest in intimacy
- Relationship Shift: Significant reduction in frequency of intimate encounters from weekly to monthly
-
Caller’s Experience:
- Initiation of Intimacy: Previously 100% initiator, now only managing 60-70%
- Emotional Response: Feelings of rejection 70-80% of the time
- Attempts to Adapt: Pausing initiation led to an extended period of no intimacy, culminating in a failed attempt to reconnect
Notable Quote:
“We're 48 years old. About a year ago my wife started or perimenopause began, has changed our relationship.”
— Caller at [00:41]
Dr. Laura’s Guidance: Rebuilding Connection Without Pressure
Strategies Offered:
-
Shift the Approach to Sensuality:
- Non-Sexual Touch: Encourage actions like back rubs, hand massages, and foot massages without the immediate expectation of sexual intimacy.
- Example Actions: Washing her hair, giving foot massages, massaging her hands.
Notable Quote:
“One of the things I'd like you to stop doing is waiting to have sex. But I'd like you to say, you know what? This menopause thing has really been tough on you. Let me give you a back rub.”
— Dr. Laura at [06:28] -
Create a Comfortable Environment:
- Initiate Contact Without Pressure: Engage in affectionate gestures to lower her defenses and rebuild intimacy gradually.
- Gradual Progression: Move from gentle touches to more intimate areas as comfort increases.
Notable Quote:
“So we want to pick up her appetite. Now, is she getting any hormone replacement therapy or anything like that?”
— Dr. Laura at [08:48] -
Consistency and Patience:
- Regular Gestures: Perform sensual acts every few days to maintain connection without overwhelming her.
- Respect Her Space: Allow her to initiate the next step when she feels ready.
Notable Quote:
“Well, you know, there'll be a point where you're rubbing her back and then you're rubbing the back of her legs and what's in between her back and her legs.”
— Dr. Laura at [07:59] -
Support Her Emotional Well-being:
- Validate Her Experience: Acknowledge the difficulties she’s facing due to hormonal changes.
- Express Empathy: Show understanding and readiness to support her beyond intimate interactions.
Notable Quote:
“She's got a guard up, doesn't feel well. Okay, so I'd like give her a background foot massage without pushing for something.”
— Dr. Laura at [07:17]
Caller’s Reflection and Dr. Laura’s Reassurance
Caller’s Response:
- Appreciates the practical advice and plans to incorporate regular, pressure-free sensual gestures.
- Understands the importance of patience and consistent effort in rebuilding intimacy.
Dr. Laura’s Reassurance:
- Shares personal anecdotes about overcoming expectations related to menopause.
- Emphasizes the value of small, affectionate actions in strengthening marital bonds.
Notable Quote:
“A lot of women go through hell. I don't know who planned that out, but... you live long enough and boom, we're going to take a few years out of your life and torture you.”
— Dr. Laura at [10:00]
Conclusion and Final Advice
Dr. Laura underscores the importance of maintaining empathy, patience, and consistent affectionate gestures to navigate the challenges posed by perimenopause. By focusing on non-sexual intimacy and supporting his wife’s emotional well-being, the caller can work towards reigniting the intimacy that has been strained during this transitional period.
Final Notable Quote:
“Do what I'm telling you to do. Just do it every few days. Do something sensual like that.”
— Dr. Laura at [09:15]
Additional Resources
Listeners are encouraged to reach out to Dr. Laura for personalized advice and to follow her on social media for more insights and support.
Note: This summary excludes all advertisements and non-content sections from the original podcast transcript to focus solely on the meaningful dialogue between Dr. Laura and the caller.