Podcast Summary: The Dr. Laura Podcast

Episode: How Do I Repair This?
Date: November 19, 2025
Host: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Main Theme:
Addressing family conflict and reconciliation after a crisis involving a grandchild's mental health, focusing on communication, emotional response, and repairing relationships.

Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode, Dr. Laura takes a call from Mary, a long-time listener seeking advice on repairing her relationship with her adult son living overseas. The rift centers on a distressing family incident where Mary’s granddaughter reached out in a moment of crisis, leading to misunderstandings and hurt between Mary and her son. Dr. Laura unpacks the dynamics at play, zeros in on emotional missteps, and offers clear, actionable advice for moving forward.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background of the Family Conflict

• Mary reconnects: Mary calls Dr. Laura after decades, expressing admiration for her long career. (01:58 – 02:13)
• Nature of conflict: Mary's adult son has lived in Japan for 23 years; he is married with two teenage children. Three months ago, a significant falling out occurred.
• Trigger incident:
  • Mary's 17-year-old granddaughter called in the night, “sobbing hysterically” and expressing she “didn’t want to live anymore, that her parents had abandoned her and she didn't feel loved.” (02:42 – 02:58)
  • The parents were away in Italy working on their marriage, leaving their children with a grandmother with whom Mary can’t communicate due to a language barrier.

2. Immediate Family Response and Fallout

• Communication breakdown:
  • The call from the granddaughter led to frantic and urgent attempts by Mary and her husband to reach their son and daughter-in-law, who were initially unresponsive due to time differences and travel.
  • When finally reached, Mary and her husband “advised them to go home and take care of their family,” believing this was the right thing to do.
• Dr. Laura’s perspective: She questions, “How can you have a falling out at that distance? How do you do that?” (02:38)
• Misalignment and escalation: Instead of uniting over concern for the granddaughter, the conversation devolved due to the tone and emotion conveyed by Mary and her husband, which the son received as critical rather than supportive.

3. Root Cause Analysis and Emotional Dynamics

• Dr. Laura identifies underlying anger:
  • She quickly senses that Mary’s response was loaded with pent-up emotions, noting,

    “You guys should go back home and take care of your family. And you shouldn't be traveling. That will get a different response than, ‘Oh my God, I'm so glad I finally got you. She's suicidal.’” (06:15)

  • Dr. Laura notes underlying resentment:

    “It's all, you're angry at him. I get that. You've been angry at him for a long time. I get that. I understand it. I don't fault you for it. But I think it came out in that moment.” (06:30 – 06:49)

4. Counsel and the Path to Repair

• Advice to Mary:
  • Dr. Laura urges immediate, humble reconciliation:

    “Call and apologize and ask how the kid's doing. Just say you got too excited and you sounded angry and you apologize because you were scared and that's why you sounded angry. And please forgive me. Do that right now.” (06:54)

  • She emphasizes the importance of humility, honesty about one's emotional state, and focusing on healing rather than blame.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Laura (to Mary):

  “How can you have a falling out at that distance? How do you do that?”
  (02:38)

• On emotional response:

  “You guys should go back home and take care of your family. And you shouldn't be traveling. That will get a different response than, ‘Oh my God, I'm so glad I finally got you. She's suicidal.’”
  (06:15)

• Reconciliation advice:

  “Call and apologize and ask how the kid's doing. Just say you got too excited and you sounded angry and you apologize because you were scared and that's why you sounded angry. And please forgive me.”
  (06:54)

• Mary deflecting:

  “Probably more so from my husband. He was mad at that.”
  (06:49)
  Dr. Laura cautions against shifting blame:
  “No, I'm talking to you. Don't distract. Don't displace. Don't run away from me.”
  (06:54)

Important Timestamps

• [01:58] – Mary joins the call and introduces her situation
• [02:42] – Mary recounts the call from her granddaughter
• [03:16] – Details about the parent’s absence and the attempt to contact them
• [06:15] – Dr. Laura dissects the tone and emotional missteps in Mary’s response
• [06:49 – 06:54] – Dr. Laura directly addresses Mary’s anger and instructs her on apology and repair steps

Episode Takeaways

• Emotional honesty and humility are crucial in family conflicts, especially when confronting crisis situations.
• The tone and approach matter as much as the intention—reacting from fear or anger can further rupture relationships instead of fostering unity and support.
• Reconciliation starts with ownership of one's emotional state, a sincere apology, and a clear expression of care for all involved, with emphasis on the person in crisis.
• Dr. Laura’s guidance is practical, direct, and compassionate, urging listeners to prioritize family healing over blame or pride.