Dr. Laura Schlessinger (2:34)

I'm a little confused. Was she willing to drive? I got. Okay, here's this. Ready? When I was applying to college, I applied to some colleges you had to drive to. My parents did not drive me anywhere. I took trains and walked. Nobody dragged me anywhere. So I'm really impressed with these parents

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (2:54)

who are flying all over the country

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (2:56)

as though it made that much difference which college the kid went to. Seriously, Any which way. You said something which made me get a little confused. And that is. When you were applying to college, did

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (3:10)

you want to travel all over the

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:11)

place and see a bunch of schools too? Did you want to do that?

Haley (Caller) (3:17)

I mean, I guess yes. We flew to, like, one school that I knew I was gonna go to.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:23)

Well, then you didn't have to go to any others. I mean, is your brother smarter than you? Is he more accomplished than you? Does he get along with his mom

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (3:32)

more than you do?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:33)

I mean, what are you actually jealous of? Because you had the same opportunity, Right?

Haley (Caller) (3:39)

And that's. Yeah, that's what I'm struggling is I feel like I'm jealous of, like, the attention that he's getting and, like, the

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (3:46)

attention that he's getting traveling to colleges or the attention that he gets all the time,

Haley (Caller) (3:55)

I guess. All the time, you guess? Yes, all the time.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (4:02)

Give me an example of disproportionate attention toward him versus you. Just give me some examples. Over the years.

Haley (Caller) (4:14)

An example is he has a Tesla as a car, and so my parents track him literally everywhere he goes. And, like, they're so involved in his life and what he's doing and constantly want to ask him about that, and I feel like, like when I tell my parents what I'm doing, they just are not as interested and they more like want to talk about what my brother's doing, things like that.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (4:43)

What is he doing that impresses them?

Haley (Caller) (4:48)

Well, he wants to make a lot of money. This is what I think. I'm sure they would have a different take, but he really wants to make a lot of money after college and go to the best school for finance. And that's just not what I want for me. And so I feel like.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (5:03)

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Slow down.

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (5:05)

Woohoo.

Haley (Caller) (5:06)

Mm.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (5:08)

Who gets their kid a Tesla?

Haley (Caller) (5:11)

I know, right?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (5:13)

No, no, no, no, no, no. The reason what you're suggesting in your example is that your parents are very money oriented, status oriented, and he's following their dreams. You are not.

Haley (Caller) (5:31)

Yes, yes.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (5:33)

Well, now you understand their value system is different from yours.

Haley (Caller) (5:39)

That's good.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (5:40)

Yeah, that's what's happening. So it isn't that you are not important to the world, it's that you're not money grubbing little twit.

Haley (Caller) (5:52)

Mm.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (5:54)

If you want to get their involvement, start saying you want to do bitcoins

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (6:00)

and you want to invest and I want to do this and I want to.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (6:02)

I want to make a lot of money and I bet everything will change. Of course you will lose your soul and I wouldn't recommend it. So I understand at 21 that you think you're feeling jealousy. What you're feeling is rage and disgust.

Haley (Caller) (6:21)

Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (6:24)

And I'm proud of you.

Haley (Caller) (6:29)

Thank you.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (6:32)

So when a moment having those values. I'm sorry, go ahead.

Haley (Caller) (6:37)

Oh, I was just saying a follow up question. So like when my parents get so excited and invested, like do I just go along with it or should I try to. No, no. Do a different conversation or how do I handle those situations that I'm feeling?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (6:54)

Say it's very interesting. Change the subject or leave the room.

Haley (Caller) (6:58)

Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (7:01)

Don't argue about it. Just say yes. I can see how excited you are. I want you to be dispassionate and standing back. You know how you close your eyes and you can stand back so you can almost see yourself like in a play talking to your parents. I'd like you to do that. Because now that you understand what's going on, you cannot take it personally anymore.

Haley (Caller) (7:30)

Right? Yeah.

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Haley (Caller) (9:36)

So then, like, for example, Dr. Laura, my mom, she literally called me, like, envious. Like, you're so envious of your brother because he wants to do all these big things. It's like, do I just kind of accept that and move on, even though I disagree with her? Like, how do I.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (9:50)

She's a pip, isn't she? Oh, you had some set of parents. Wow.

Haley (Caller) (9:55)

I hope she doesn't listen to this call. So hopefully I hope she does.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:00)

And you should hope she does.

Haley (Caller) (10:02)

Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:04)

I'm sorry you ended up in this family, but if she says envious, say,

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (10:09)

you know, I've been giving that a

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:10)

lot of thought, and yeah, I guess I'm sort of envious of all the excited effort, but I don't want to do what my brother does to get it.

Haley (Caller) (10:24)

Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:26)

You cannot hide and develop a strong soul here. You've got to be willing calmly to sell the truth. Yes, I have felt it, but I don't want to do what he does to get your excited approval. I'm on a different track. And I understand that doesn't excite you, but, you know, not everybody's driven toward money.

Haley (Caller) (10:50)

Right? Okay.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (10:51)

Speak up for yourself in the calmest of ways. No yelling, no screaming, no name calling. If mom gets out of hand, just say, excuse me, we can talk another time. And either stop the conversation on the phone or say you have to go to the bathroom, whatever. Just get out of the room.

Haley (Caller) (11:10)

Okay, okay, that's helpful. That's helpful.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (11:13)

Okay. Yeah. Don't fight. You can't win a fight. They know what they want.

Haley (Caller) (11:20)

Yeah, and I like what you said. It's kind of just a differing of values. And as I'm getting older, I'm definitely noticing that. So I just have to be more conscious of that, like, as we have those conversations.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (11:32)

That's right.

Haley (Caller) (11:39)

Okay, well, thank you so much, Dr. Lohr. That really encouraged me, and I'm definitely going to give that a lot of thought. So thank you.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (11:46)

You stay your path. Because I got to tell you, he has a problem in the future. He's stealing money, doing fraud to impress his parents. This is the kind of dynamic I often see. Pressured to be the special one who's going to make the family special by all the money, and he fails. You know what that's going to be like? That's what we call drug addiction. So if I were you, don't be envious.

Haley (Caller) (12:21)

Well, Dr. Laura, it's so ironic that you say that because, like, yeah, out of the two of us, he's the one who's, like, done the vaping and all that. And, like, I'm planning to go into the military and serve my country. And like, my parents, they're not really that impressed by that. They think it's cool, but, like, they really aren't that impressed. And so it's just what you said really rings true.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (12:41)

They don't think it's cool. They think it's a waste.

Haley (Caller) (12:46)

Yeah.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (12:54)

So what? They're wrong.

Haley (Caller) (12:57)

Yes. Well, I just think I need to have that. I need to continue to have that view going into conversations because, like you said, like, I really let it personally affect me, and then I think, well, am I doing the bad thing? Am I feeling wrongly? But then I'm like, I don't. I just agree with you. It's a differing of opinion, and that's okay. And I'll just have to avoid the confrontation going forward. So.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:19)

Haley, you are amazing. 21. I'm impressed with you, dear. Which part of the military you going into?

Haley (Caller) (13:29)

I'm going to the army. I'm planning to do army nursing.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:33)

Oh, bless you. That's wonderful. Oh, my gosh.

Haley (Caller) (13:37)

Thank you.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:39)

Also, was it bless you to do that?

Haley (Caller) (13:40)

Dan's birthday yesterday.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:42)

It was Dan's birthday. He turned the big five.

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (13:45)

Oh.

Haley (Caller) (13:47)

Because it was my birthday yesterday. February 4th. So tell them.

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (13:51)

Oh, my gosh. Well, here we go.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:53)

Ready?

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (13:54)

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (13:59)

You can say me.

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (14:00)

Happy birthday, dear beloved.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (14:03)

Brilliant.

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (14:03)

Wonderful.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (14:05)

Haley.

Dr. Laura's Show Announcer (14:06)

Happy birthday to you.

Haley (Caller) (14:10)

Oh, thank you so much, Dr. Laura. That just made my week. Thank you so much.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (14:15)

Do you know how to say hua properly? Good for you. That was beautiful. Really Use the diaphragm, baby. Okay. Send me a picture when you have your uniform.

Haley (Caller) (14:33)

Oh, I will. And good luck with your recovery. I hope everything.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger (14:36)

Thank you. Yeah, it's gonna be fine. Just annoying. My number one, 800-375-2872.

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If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform.

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